Bound
by Mutt N. Feathers
Summary: What if Harry's parents weren't killed by Voldemort? What if, by meeting a little girl from Wales while they were in school, all their lives were changed. AU story for the years prior to canon. A/N: Re-edited 6/2010
1. Chapter 1

**Bound**

**Chapter 1:**

**From the Moment We Met...**

**Lily Evans POV:**

_I always loved the 1 September. I loved the train station; I loved the transition from the Muggle world to the Magical one on Platform Nine and three-quarters. I loved the train ride there. Most of all, I loved Hogwarts. My parents had dropped me off at the main door, not wanting to park the car; not wanting to make Petunia more upset than she already was. I was fine; I could make it to the train on my own. I was in my fourth year after all. Ahead of me, I could see James Potter, if he didn't make me so angry, he would actually be quite dashing. When he got together with his stupid friends, FRIEND - Sirius Black - they made my blood boil. _

_Boys_ I thought, as I rolled my eyes and made my way toward the arch between platforms nine and ten, and then I saw her. She was the littlest girl that I had ever laid eyes on. She couldn't stand more than four and a half feet tall with short brown hair and green eyes as big as saucers. She looked so scared, so small and so obviously lost, I knew that she must be a first year, Muggle born by the way she looked confused and bemused. I approached her slowly, and touched her on the shoulder.

"Can I help you? Are you trying to find the platform to Hogwarts?" I asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't seem to be here, and my parents left and ..." The little girl answered, tears spilling from her cavernous eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's okay. You don't have to cry. Come on, I will show you how to get there. I'm Lily. Lily Evans, fourth year, Gryffindor. What's your name?" I asked her, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Anwen" she sniffled "Anwen Llyn Hodgson."

"Anwen, that is a beautiful name. Where are you from?" I asked her.

"Wales," she answered meekly, trying to get her tears under control.

"Do you come from a magical family?" I thought that I knew the answer already, but I didn't want to presume anything.

"No. I only learned about all of this a few months ago. My parents weren't very happy..." and with that fresh tears started rolling down her cheeks again.

"Alright, it's very simple, we are going to run right at that wall there, and then we will sink through it. Trust me, it will be okay. Do you want me to go first, or you?" I asked her, still rubbing her shoulder, her head resting on my chest.

"You go, and then I will do what you do," she said, looking up at me with the faintest smile on her face.

"I'll be waiting on the other side, and I promise that it will be okay," I replied and flung myself through the wall.

Once on the other side, I pulled off to the side, and waited. A moment later, Anwen, and her full trolley came bursting through. A huge smile engulfed her small face when she saw me, and realized that she had done it right. We stood together in front of the Hogwarts Express, gleaming in the morning sun.

"Let's get you and your things onto the train," I said to her, smiling.

"Okay," she beamed back.

Through the steam I could see a face coming towards me. It was sweet, gentle, and warm in the way his eyes met mine. This was the person that I needed to introduce sweet Anwen to. He would make her feel welcome.

"Hi Remus, did you have a good summer?" I asked him and he nodded at me.

"It was a very enjoyable holiday. I hope yours was the same?" he asked me politely. _Wish that he would give some lessons to James about being a gentleman._

"It was, thanks for asking. Remus, this is Anwen. She is a first year, and Muggle born. Would you mind helping us get her things onto the train? I think her trunk is as big as she is," I gave a slight laugh and a warm smile. Remus was my favorite of all the Marauder's. He was kind and gentle, even if he hung out with those other stupid boys.

"Anwen it is my pleasure. May I please help you aboard?" Remus smiled at her with a warm smile that glowed in his eyes.

"Yes, thank you," she replied, blushing and looking down at the floor.

We got onto the train, I found my friends in a compartment, and Remus helped us put our things away. I watched him as he tried to get up the courage to say more than 'hi' to Eva, and then turn and walk away instead. _Honestly, they both like each other, what's it going to take, locking them in a classroom to get them to talk?_ Eva and I were fast friends, ever since our first ride to Hogwarts our first year. It didn't matter to me that she was a Hufflepuff, she was a loyal and trustworthy friend.

I insisted that Anwen stay with us. She sat quietly on the bench, politely answering questions when we asked her, but saying little else. She was a little shy, and obviously truly unaware of how the Magical world worked. I remembered when I first arrived at Hogwarts and how lost I felt. I was going to make sure that Anwen felt better about her first days here. She would become my project. She sat quietly looking out the window for much of the ride. After a few hours, the door to our compartment opened, and there stood the James, Remus and Sirius Black. I saw a small head bopping behind them, it must be Peter, but I really couldn't see him. James had that ridiculous smile on his face, Sirius' face was full of swagger and Remus smiled gently. I let a slow breath escape waiting for one of them to speak.

"So Lily, how was your summer?" James asked.

"Pest free," I replied dripping with sarcasm.

Sirius laughed his great bark like guffaw. "She got you there James. Your wit my lady, is beyond compare!" Sirius grinned back at me, with his most devilish smile.

"Hey, stop flirting with her, you know that she loves me!" James said, slapping Sirius in the chest.

"James, she only loves you, because she knows that she can't have me," Sirius replied, flashing his mischievous smile at me again.

"I'll have neither of you," I replied, watching them carry on like cads.

With that, we all heard it. A slight, bell like sound. I looked around the compartment, and then I realized that the sound was coming from Anwen. She was laughing, glee in her eyes.

"Boys, did your mother's never tell you, that you attract so much more with honey than with vinegar?" she said. I was staring at her, smiling, giggling, and chastising the most famous playboys at the school. This girl would be fine, she had spunk.

"Anwen, don't encourage them. You will never shake free of them!" I scolded her, still amazed that it was in this way that she chose to come out of her shell. A sly smile escaped her lips, and she again hid her face.

"Who is this?" James said, perplexed, not sure what to make of the little girl who had just shut him down.

"This is Anwen Hodgson," I answered. "First year."

"James Potter," James said pointing at himself. "This is Sirius Black," he said, slapping Sirius on the back, "and this is Remus Lupin," he said pointing at Remus, "and back there, that's Peter Pettigrew," Peter jumped again. _What exactly does James see in him? He's like a love-struck puppy._

"I have already had the pleasure of Miss Hodgson's acquaintance," Remus replied

"Boys, I do believe that it is time for you to move on, we need to be getting into our robes, and ready to disembark at Hogsmeade. Goodbye." I rose, shoved them out of the door, and closed it quickly. I turned to face Anwen.

"Do not, under any circumstances, make friends with James or Sirius. They are a handful, and you are much too young," I jokingly warned her, but only partially so. They really were a handful, and she seemed so little, no matter how capable she just proved herself.

We changed into our robes, and I helped Anwen get off the train, and get over to Hagrid. She stared at the large man, again with fear in her eyes. She looked even smaller standing next to him. I told her I would see her inside, part of me sure that she would be sorted into Gryffindor. Anyone who could stand up to James and Sirius moments after meeting them, belonged in the house of the brave. I was proved right. Once she was sorted, I made room for her to come and sit next to me at the table. Remus was sitting across from her and she would meekly smile at him during dinner. He looked at her with a sort of reverence. I helped her find the prefects after dinner, and she followed them out. She even looked small among the first years.

**Sirius Black POV:**

There she was again. I watched her as she filed in with the rest of the first years. My gosh, she is tiny. I think I could lift her with one hand. Her trunk must weigh more than she did. How does she move with such grace? She doesn't walk, she floats. When they called her name, I watched her have to climb the stool to get to the top. The hat fell over her eyes, but it immediately sorted her into my house. I watched as she bounced over, smiling, to sit next to Lily. She was, oh what the word, intriguing. So tiny, but there was something there underneath it all. There was moxie. _Wait, did Remus just smile at her? Why would he do that? No, Remus was smiling at Lily, not at Anwen. She was way too young! What am I doing? I don't even know this girl, and she is only slightly older than a child, and yet...stop it Sirius. She doesn't need you to protect her, least of all from Remus. He may be a werewolf, but he is the meekest person on the planet. Still, there is something about her. Why do I want to protect her?_

We all filed upstairs to our rooms, and started to unpack. After fun with my best friends, we decided to settle in for the night. I lay in bed, making a mental list of the girls that I wanted to get to know better this year, but that darn Anwen girl kept slipping into my head. _ She's a darned first year Sirius. Stop it. You can have any girl that you want in the school, but not a first year. _ The room was overtaken with snoring, but I lay awake. Girls left my mind, and my Father decided to lumber in. My most recent battle with my parents about, well, everything, was replaying in my head and I couldn't make it stop. I flopped in the bed for a while, and when it became evident that sleep wasn't in the cards I got up. I went downstairs, the common room was better for brooding anyway. As I made my way down the stairs, I couldn't see anyone there. Good, I don't have to make idle conversation. I can just sit here and think. Then, I saw her. On the couch closest to the fireplace, there was a small ball of a girl. Her head on her knees, shaking even though she had a blanket wrapped around her. Honestly, she looked no bigger than a quaffle all rolled up the way she was.

"Anwen?" I said quietly. She lifted her head, her face was streaked with tears and her lips were quivering as her body shook with tears. She didn't say anything, she just laid her head down on her knees again, still sobbing. I walked over to the couch, and sat down. "Anwen, what's wrong?"

"I just don't think I belong here," she sobbed. She looked so broken. I put my arm around her and pulled her to me. Someone needed to comfort her, and I was here. She felt as small as she looked. "What would make you say something like that?" I asked her, rubbing her shoulder with my hand.

"We were upstairs, and all the girls were talking about things, and I didn't know anything that they were saying. I didn't even know that there was a magical world until Dumbledore showed up after my birthday. And I feel behind already, and I know that my parents are angry about my being here and oh..." and with that, she started crying harder. Her little body collapsed into mine, her bent knees next to my chest and her tiny face buried in my upper arm. Clearly, she needed protecting, I guess I was right. I tried to calm her, waiting until her tears had subsided enough before I spoke again.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, tentatively.

"Yes,. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, look what I did to your shirt. I didn't mean to get you all wet like that, and now you have to go to bed with a wet shirt, and then your sheets will get all wet and mold will start to grow in them when you make your bed in the morning and it will start to smell and I am so sorry, you must think that I am some crazy girl..."

"Stop," I laughed at her. "Do you stop to breathe?"

"Yes," she nodded her head at me, looking perplexed, then mortified. "I should be going, I am really so sorry for all of this and I really must be going..." Anwen was trying to get up, but she was tangled up in the blanket so much that she just fell over onto the couch.

"Sit down before you hurt yourself." She obeyed, looking at the floor the whole time. "You didn't do anything, and you have nothing to be sorry for. Why don't you sit here and tell me what has you so scared, and I will see if I can help you? I know quite a few useful things about this place."

"I've heard that about you. Your reputation precedes you," she said with a crooked half smile on her face.

"Lily Evans," I said as I blew out my breath. _I had no idea why, but Lily definitely didn't like me._ "What exactly did she say?"

"That I would be wise to keep my distance," she stopped to think about something. "But I think that I will make my own decisions, thank you very much!" She put her little hands on her hips, and I knew that she was trouble. _ She definitely intrigues me._

"So, tell me, where are you from?"

"Wales. Just outside of Cardiff."

"You don't talk like you are from Wales. In fact, you don't sound like you are from anywhere."

"Diction lessons," she smiled. "Part of my training in London."

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"I am a bit of a prodigy in the Muggle world. My voice, my singing voice, is well, advanced for my age. I studied with the English National Opera beginning at the age of four. My Mother and I lived in London, while my Father and my sister and brother remained at home. I think that it was a great disappointment to them that I chose to come to Hogwarts, instead of staying on in London."

"So, they taught you to talk again?" I asked, I had never heard such a thing.

"Talk, no. Speak, yes," smart answer. Very smart. This girl was, something.

"You never knew that you were a witch?"

"Nope. I always thought that I was different, though. Even when I was young, I could think things, and then they would happen. So, when I was told I was a witch, I was happy. At least I wasn't crazy."

"You thought you were crazy because you could do magic?" I couldn't believe this. "Singing with the opera at four, okay, but doing magic makes you think you're crazy?" I was laughing at her.

"Well, yeah. Muggle remember!" Then she leaned over and messed up my hair. _No one touches my hair._

"Hey, don't touch the hair. Wait a minute, why did you touch my hair?"

"Any boy with hair that perfect spends too much time in front of a mirror. Clearly, you're rather vain about it," she replied smugly. I had been with Anwen for less than an hour, and she had already figured me out. Oh, yes, this girl was trouble.

"What are you vain about then?"

"That's easy," she said with a delighted look on her face. After a long, awkward pause I asked her.

"Okay, tell me."

"Oh no," she said shaking her head. "You have to figure that out on your own. I know that you are a smart boy. You'll get it, eventually," she teased me.

I looked at her, studying her face. She sat drumming her fingers on her cheek. "I give up."

"Well then, it will be an adventure for you to figure it out then won't it," she said giggling, tapping the end of my nose with her finger.

She turned herself sideways on the couch, and so did I. Our legs met in the middle, but we could barely make our toes touch, she was so short. We started talking and we went on for hours. Talking with Anwen, being with Anwen, wasn't like anyone else in my life. She listens, really listens and hears what I say. She doesn't judge me or say things to hurt me. Damn, she's really smart. When she smiles at me, it's like I can see right into her, and she's full of sunshine and happiness. We sat there, just talking. When I moved over and put her little feet in my lap and my arm around her, she didn't take it like other girls do – like I'm gonna lean down and kiss them - she just relaxed against me, and kept talking.

It wasn't until the sun started coming up that I realized that we had spent the night talking. I, Sirius Black spent the night with a girl, and not just any girl, a first year. I know that it should have been wrong, but it really wasn't. I mean we didn't do anything, we just talked. _But we talked all night._ Anwen was different, she may not have been aged, but her soul was old. She was more grown up than I was. We talked about everything, her family, my family. I told her things that I hadn't even told James. I definitely told her things I had never told another girl. I liked that I could talk with her.

"Anwen, look out the window."

"Sticky Spaghetti Poles!" she screamed as she turned around and looked out the window. She turned back to me with a glint in her eye. "Go put your robes on, and meet me back here in five minutes. There is something that I really want to do, and I think that you can help me with it," she told me, curling her lip up in a crooked, almost wicked smile.

"Anwen, what do you have in mind?" I asked, puzzled by her. _Could she be mischievous too?_

"I am not telling you anything. Do it or don't, but I am sneaking out. I just think that I may have more luck with you around," she said with a shrug. "Or, were you blowing smoke about all of those pranks you and your friends have done. Hum?" She said raising her eyebrow. She was the most dangerous girl I had ever met. This was going to be fun.

Five minutes later, we were sneaking out of the common room, and headed downstairs and out of the castle. It was still dark out, but the edge of the sky was beginning to turn from gray to pink.

"I don't know how to get down there, but can you get me to the lake. There is something that I want to try there. Please?" Anwen looked at me with those sweet eyes, and I couldn't refuse.

"Hop on, I'll carry you there," I said. She hopped on my back, and yup, she weighed next to nothing. She giggled as we tromped along the grounds. As we came to the lake, she hopped off and sat down on the ground.

"Okay, I got you here. You want to tell me what all this is about?" I asked as I plopped down next to her.

"Well, I told you I can sing, right?"

"Um, no. You told me that you were a prodigy that studied with the English National Opera."

"Okay. So, you were listening. Anyway, Professor Dumbledore must have known too, because after he talked to me about my being magical and coming to school here, he said in passing that there were Mermaids in the lake. I did a little research while I was school shopping at um, diagonal alley..."

"Diagon Alley, but continue..." I corrected her.

"Well, I did some research, and there is a series of notes that can be sung to summon them. Several of them are not in the normal human range. I however, do not have a normal human range, not even a normal witches range. I can sing the notes, and I figured the headmaster must have known this since he told me, and..." she finally took a breath. _Dear God, is she like part fish? Does she have gills, so she can talk without stopping very often? What did she say? I see where this is going. Did Dumbledore really tell her that there were Mermaids in the black lake? Are there Mermaids in the black lake? Why was she doing research? How smart is this girl? Oh, no, she's off again._

"So, I thought that I would try. What do you think?"

_What did I think? This was crazy. Could she really summon a Mermaid with her voice? I didn't even know if such a thing were possible. Somehow, I knew if anyone could, she would be the girl. _

"Give it a shot. If nothing else, I get to hear you sing," I replied, patting her hand that was in the grass next to mine.

"Okay, please don't laugh at me," she stood and looked at me. _There was fear in her eyes, not that she couldn't do this, but instead what? Was she afraid that I would l take the mickey out of her? She looked so small again, for such a confident ball of energy. I think I may have just found what she's vain about._

I stood, and took her little hands in mine and looked down into her face, "I won't laugh, I promise."

She turned and bounced off toward the lake's edge. I could just make her face out in the new light of dawn, as she beamed at me. Even her eyes were smiling. She turned back, steeled herself, planting her feet firmly and took a deep breath. Then I heard her. I have never heard anything quite like it, but I suspect that if I were to meet an angel, they would sound like the sweetness that was escaping her lips. I had heard some Muggle music before, in passing. Some of it was really good, especially some of the rock music that the radio station would play when I went into the Muggle parts of London, but this was like none of that. This was like the wind rustling through the trees, children's laughter and bells ringing all at once. It was pure and clear. She made her voice do things that didn't seem human, and yet, the emotion in her voice was palpable – even without words. I slowly stepped towards her, not wanting to scare her. When I reached her, I turned and looked at her.

Her eyes were closed, and her little hands were moving in the air, like she was molding clay. I watched her sing, watched her hands and realized she was molding her voice. Her hands were moving as she sang. When she stopped, it was hard to tear my gaze from her. This was amazing, she was amazing. I was in awe. Then I heard it, I reached down and grabbed her hand as something broke the surface of the water.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**...I Knew You Were Trouble!**

**Anwen POV:**

"That had to have been the coolest thing, EVER!" I screeched. I was riding on Sirius back again. We stood at the side of the lake together, as first one, then another, and then several more mermaids came to the surface. They would break the water to look at me, and then submerge, just enough, to sing a lovely melody. I would listen, and then reply, echoing back what they had sung. It was so cool. Sirius said nothing; he just held my hand through the whole thing, looking at me in this strange way, like I was a china doll that could be broken.

"I didn't even know that there were mermaids in the Black Lake, much less that a witch could communicate with them. You're amazing!" He said, there was a little something in his voice, I didn't even know what it was, but there was something...strange. _Oh well_.

As we approached the doors, we saw him, the headmaster, standing at the door looking at us. _Great, I had been here for exactly twelve hours, and I was in trouble already. Thank goodness I hadn't unpacked; I knew I was headed back to Wales. Mom and Dad would ship me off to London, and since I was going to live in the dorms here, I would be old enough to live in the dorms there. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Maybe Sirius could write me, or visit me when he was in the city. _ I slid off Sirius back, and stepped to his side.

"Miss Hodgson, how did you like the lake? Were you able to communicate with them?" The headmaster greeted us with the exact opposite of the words I was expecting. _Wait, were we in trouble or not?_

"Um, well, yes, sir. It worked, I sang with them for quite a while. How did you know that? Aren't you mad at me for sneaking out during the night?" I asked him, quite sure that I had misunderstood everything.

"While I would have preferred that you went during the day, sneaking out onto the grounds isn't wise for first years; I see however, that you found one of the few students who knows many of the castle secrets to take with you. Good morning, Mr. Black," he said, nodding to Sirius, I still wasn't sure about all of this.

"Good morning, Professor. You should have seen and heard her, it was amazing," Sirius replied, looking down at me with a smile.

"Quite, but young man, even with your vast knowledge, it was reckless to take someone so new out of the castle at night. In the future, I expect you to exercise better judgment, if you think that you can. Miss Hodgson, I would much enjoy accompanying you on a future trip to the lake. Good day," and with that, he turned and walked away. I stood there dumbfounded, looking at Sirius, he looked the same way.

"I was sure that I was about to be sent home. How did he know what we were up to? How did we not get into trouble?" I asked.

"Dumbledore is full of surprises. Don't question them, just accept them. Did you want to be sent home?" he asked, looking a little hurt.

"No, not at all. I mean last night, I certainly would have liked to, but things look better in the light of day. Oh my, I didn't realize it was so big!" my eyes were wide with surprise.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked me, confused again.

"The castle is huge. Sugar covered pretzels, how am I going to keep from getting lost?" I suddenly felt small and deflated. Maybe I did want to go home.

"I'll make sure that you don't get lost. Don't worry about it," Sirius pulled me closer and leaned down and kissed the top of my head. _Well that was interesting. The only boy who ever kissed me was my Da. _Then, I heard his stomach growl, as I was only inches away from the middle of his chest.

"It sounds like someone needs his breakfast. Could you please get me to the Great Hall? I am not even sure how to get there. And then I need to get back to the dorm. And then, do classes start today or what, and if they start how do I know where I need to go? And ..." then his fingers were on my mouth.

"Anwen, you really need to breathe more often. Honestly, I have never met someone who can pack more words into one breath," he moved his hand, and I took a deep breath. "Let's go get breakfast. Hop back on, your legs are so short, that walking with you is like walking in slow motion."

I frowned at him, climbing on his back, and we were quickly moving forward again. This was fun, he was fun. I'd never had a big brother; this must be what it was like.

"What in the world does 'sugar covered pretzels' mean?" he asked as we bounced up the stairs.

"We can't curse at home, you do, you get your mouth washed out with soap. One time, with soap in your mouth is enough to persuade you to come up with something better to say. I don't get in trouble with 'Sugar Covered Pretzels' or 'Fish in the Bathtub' or 'Jelly Worms' or "Sweet Spaghetti Pole'. We have lots of them..." and then we stopped, quickly, so my face bounced into the back of Sirius' head. I looked over his shoulder, and I saw her and then him. Her face was livid, his was in shock. Again, I slid off Sirius' back and tried to step to his side, but this time, he wouldn't let me. He stepped in front of me, and reached his hand back to grab my arm.

"James, Lily, lovely morning," Sirius cooed. He was turning the charm on, and by the look on her face, it wasn't going to work.

"Where have you been? I went up to her room, her bed wasn't slept in and her roommates didn't know where she was!" Lily was yelling.

"We went down to the lake," I said, as loudly as I could from behind Sirius.

"Why would you need to go down to the lake in the middle of the night?" James asked, perplexed.

"I had never seen one, and since my parents named me after one, I wanted to see..." I didn't really want to share the truth right now, it was private, and I wanted to keep it that way. Sirius looked at me confused. "Anwen Llyn, it means Beautiful Lake in Welsh. I figured if I was named after one, I should see one."

"What have you been up to with that child?" Lily yelled; she was furious. _That was it, I've had it! _I stepped quickly from behind Sirius and walked over so that I was standing right in front of her. She was still taller than me but I looked at her square in the face. "I am not a child!"

"Anwen," she put her hand on my shoulder, but I shook it off. "I warned you about him. You can't trust him."

"He, was a gentleman," James made some noise behind Lily, but I ignored him for now. "He listened to me, and talked to me, and made me not afraid. HE took me somewhere that I needed to go for the headmaster. He has been a friend, and he hasn't yelled at me. I can't say the same for you right now," she looked down at the floor. James made another stupid noise behind her, and I walked past Lily to look at him in the face. He was taller, but as I planted myself in front of him, he looked, well, scared of me. This was good. "And you; grow up. Your friend there knows how to treat a lady. Maybe if you did, _she_ would go out with you, since that's clearly what you want," James turned five shades of red. "Now, both of you, I would like to be friend, but you need to talk to me the right way. I may be little, but I am not stupid and I do not take this from anyone. Thank you," I turned on my heels and walked back to Sirius. He was looking at me with something akin to amusement and awe. I giggled at him, quietly; I didn't want to blow my "mature" cover.

"I believe that you were taking me to breakfast, and then going to explain what was going on today to me. Shall we?" I asked, holding my hand out, like you do when you want a gentleman to lead you to the dance floor at a ball.

"Why my lady, it would be my honor," he bowed to me, placed his hand under mine, and turned me so that I could walk with him to the great hall. Lily avoided eye contact, James' mouth hung open so far, I was afraid he would catch flies, so as we passed him, I gently put a finger under his chin and closed it. Sirius was trying hard to contain a laugh that was threatening to break free, and I just smiled and hummed the tune from the mermaids this morning, as we walked on into the Great Hall.

"So, do they know that they are in love with each other yet?" I asked, still giggling a little, Sirius stopped laughing and looked at me.

"What? You've been around them for what, fifteen minutes total, and you figured out that they are in love with each other already? It took Remus and me months to decipher what was going on. How did you do that?" Sirius was again looking at me with the earlier look of wonder and awe.

"The love part, it was obvious from the moment she cut him down on the train yesterday. I told you last night, I like to observe people. It gives me insight. People see me as little and shy, but really, it's just a ruse so that I can watch them. People fascinate me. What?" He was still gaping at me. I was afraid I was going to have to shut his mouth too. "Say something!"

"You, little one, are amazing. Thank you," Sirius had stopped as we reached the table, still holding my arm in a very formal way.

"What are you thanking me for? I haven't done anything," I asked, sitting down. Sirius sat next to me, and put his arms on the table and then rested his head on his bent arms, still looking at me.

"Thank you for being you. You're fascinating."

"Well, you're welcome, I think. I am who I am, therefore thanking me for it seems strange, but well, whatever floats your boat."

"Does your name really mean 'beautiful lake?'" he asked, somewhat appalled.

"Yup. Creative of my parents, huh? We don't even live near ANY lakes, but they liked the name, so they named me. I am so impressed," I said throwing my hands up in the air in defeat. "So what is this stuff?" I said, picking up a pitcher and giving it a sniff. It smelled vile. I made a face at the thick liquid inside.

"That's pumpkin juice. You know, juice, for breakfast," Sirius said, looking at me puzzled.

"Um, Muggle," raising my arms in front of me, "no idea what this stuff is, but there is no way that I am going to drink this. Muggles do not drink pumpkin juice. Orange, apple, grape, pomegranate, yes but no pumpkin. If I can't have some orange juice, I guess I'm stuck with tea. Preferably strong tea, I need to stay awake," I complained. With that, a tea cup with dark liquid appeared before me. _That is so cool. It just appeared in my cup. _I reached for it and put it to my lips.

"You are going to drink that, just like that, no sugar, no cream?" Sirius asked, and I nodded. "But you won't touch Pumpkin Juice?" Sirius was putting food on his plate, and looking at me at the same time. Subsequently, he dropped the bangers onto the table rather than his plate. I laughed at him. _He's so silly sometimes, and why is he staring at me like that?_

"Well, I would really rather have some strong coffee, but this will do."

"Wait, a little runt like you drinks coffee?" He said, his mouth hanging open again. _Geesh, don't these boys know to shut their mouths? _ "Tell me, do you put anything in it? I can't stand the taste," he said frowning at me.

"Nope, drink it black. Do you want to hear how that started? It's a funny story," I asked and he nodded very skeptically at me. "When I was eight I had some coffee at an after party for an Opera I was in. I poured lots of milk and sugar in it and drank it. Well, the next morning, I came down for breakfast and asked for a mug to pour myself some. My Ma, thinking she was so smart, told me I could only drink more if I drank it black. I tasted it, decided that I liked it, and then drank it down. Her plan backfired. I have been drinking black coffee since. In a pinch tea will do," I told him, taking some toast and putting jam on it.

"Again, you have amazed me, my little friend."

I went back to my toast, noticing that James and Lily had come in, and were sitting down next to each other, farther down on the other side of the table. That was interesting. I went to nudge Sirius in the ribs, but I saw him staring across the room. He was looking; no, leering at a boy who looked much like him, just a little younger. The younger man was looking back with as much animosity as Sirius had for him. I turned my face to look at Sirius; he looked angrier than I had ever seen anyone. I reached up and touched his face. It broke his trance, and he looked back at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, quietly. _That must be his brother, Regulus, a Slytherin._

"I'm fine," he sort of barked. It didn't sound like he was fine. "Eat your breakfast, after that, we'll head back to the tower, take a nap and then I'll show you the castle and grounds. We don't have class until tomorrow..." then he stopped. I could sense it, someone was standing behind us.

"What are you doing with that child, that Mud..."

"Do not finish that word if you know what is good for you LITTLE brother," Sirius roared at him, standing up so fast that I thought I would fall over as he stood over me.

"It's not bad enough that you treat Mother and Father so poorly, but now, you cavort with THIS!" He pointed at me, venom in his voice. Sirius pulled his brother away from me, and Remus came and sat down next to me, the opposite side from where Sirius had been. I looked at him quickly, but then, looked back at Sirius. I knew a whole lot more about what was going on over there than almost anyone could have guessed. I bit my toast and sipped my tea, all the while watching the fight that was brewing between the brothers. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up so fast that no one could grab me and walked over, within feet of Sirius.

"How could you carry that Mudblood on your back like that? Let her cling to you that way? It is unfitting of your social stature..."

_What had he just called me?_ I couldn't think about it any more, Sirius was pulling his arm back, ready to punch his brother. I ran over, grabbed his arm and hung onto it.

"You don't want to do that. It's the first day, and you don't want to get into trouble. We have had all the luck that we are going to have today. Let's go," I spoke quietly, calmly and softly. I am not even sure that Regulus could hear me. With that, Sirius turned and started walking out. I caught up to him, needing to walk, well almost run, to keep up.

"What am I going to do with you?" Sirius whispered under his breath as we started toward the tower.

"Me? I didn't almost pick a fight with my brother in front of the whole school. I think the bigger question is what am I going to do with you?" I asked him.

"You've kept me awake all night, shown me Mermaids, told off my best friend and his maybe girlfriend and kept me from hitting my brother. You have been on campus for less than a day. You definitely need someone to keep an eye on you. I think that I am just the person for the job," he said, smiling down at me.

"Actually, Sirius, I think that it is you that needs to be taken care of. Good thing you have a little friend here to do that," and with that, I climbed on his back as he flew up the stairs. I was asleep within in seconds of making it to my bed.

**Sirius POV:**

The school year had started off well. I only had detention once, and it was mid October already. They had posted the sign for our first Hogsmeade weekend of the year. It was there in the common room when James and I came down. As we made our way to breakfast, he sped up to catch Lily. Remus and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes. _Yup, we would be alone at Hogsmeade_. I passed Anwen, already at the table with several other first year girls, and gave her a smile. She beamed back, but kept on talking with her friends. The words continued to tumble out of her, quickly and passionately. _I still don't think that she breathes like a normal person. _

Anwen wasn't like other girls. Usually when I was even polite to a girl, they would start hanging all over me, making silly faces with their eyes glassed over. _Annoying really_. Couldn't take more than a few days with any one of them. Then, I would end up acting rude to them just to get them to go away. It wasn't very polite of me I know, but I just couldn't take any more. Anwen didn't act like that.

We had settled into a comfortable pattern. After breakfast we would chat for a few minutes before we headed to class, and then we might see each other in the common room after dinner, but the real fun was on Friday nights. We had a standing arrangement to meet at one o'clock in the morning, in the common room, and we would stay up all night, talking. Sometimes, I would get the Marauder's Map and take her exploring. She could squeeze into places that I had never dreamed of, being as small as she was. She found things out about the castle that even I didn't know. Sometimes, we would sneak down to the kitchens for a snack. We had even been out to the lake to see the mermaids again. It was a quiet time, just the two of us. She knew more about me now than anyone else. Sometimes I thought that she knew me better than myself.

I continued to eat breakfast, Remus next to me, Peter across the way, when I noticed that the morning post was arriving by owl. I didn't get mail – none of my family would ever write me. Mrs. Potter would write on occasion, just to make me feel better, but I never had any expectation for mail. I looked down the table and noticed that Anwen had a letter. She hadn't gotten any mail since she came, as far as I knew, so it was a surprise. I could tell as she read the letter that she wasn't happy about it. I got up and walked back down the table, and sat in the seat recently vacated by one of her friends.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, not sure who the letter was from, but whatever it contained, I could tell it had made her sad.

"Um, yeah," she replied looking up. Her eyes met mine, and even though there was a slight smile on her lips, her eyes were sad. _Are there tears in her eyes?_

"I don't believe you. You can't lie at all Anwen. Who is the letter from?"

"My Da. It's nothing. I had just hoped that when they finally did write, they..." and she stopped talking, looking down. I could tell that she was afraid that she was going to cry. "I'll talk with you about it another time," she said, still staring at the floor as if it was interesting. She quickly got up, flung herself from the bench and tore out of the room. I tried to run after her, but there were so many people, I couldn't find her when I reached the hall. _Clearly there was something in that letter. Doesn't her family see what they are doing to her?_

The rest of the day went without anything exciting happening, except that James blew up his cauldron in Potions because he was looking at Lily instead of what he was doing and put too much Essence of Lambs Ear into the mix. His eyebrows were singed. _He won't be living that one down anytime soon. _ Anwen was sitting in the common room, balled up again so tiny that honestly, you could have mistaken her for a large pillow instead of a girl at the end of the couch. It was her favorite spot; she just was staring into the fire.

"Hey squirt, how was your day?" I asked, plopping myself down on the couch next to her.

"Great. Just great. Got bit by a plant in Herbology and had to go to Hospital wing. Dropped my glass at lunch and spilled milk on myself, and then this afternoon, we had our first flying lesson. I fell off," she was pouting so badly, that I could have rested a galleon on her bottom lip.

"You fell off?" I couldn't laugh at her, but, this was funny.

"Yes, I fell off the broom. I was the only one in my group to fall off. It was awful. All these Ravenclaw boys were laughing at me, because I didn't even know anything about flying or some dumb game that they play on brooms here. I don't care if I ever learn to fly," she was near tears. _I should have thought of that,_ _she wouldn't know what Quidditch is. _ _James and I could have taken her out, taught her about it, and this would have been easier._ _Well, so much for the whole helpful older friend thing. Stupid git!_

"It couldn't have been that bad?" I said, biting the inside of my mouth to keep myself from laughing, knowing I would have if it had been anyone else.

"Sirius, the broom is as long as I am tall. I weigh next to nothing and when it took off, it jerked and I fell off backwards. It hurt, and there were tears in my eyes, and then everyone was laughing. I just wanted to hide. I am NEVER getting on a broom again!" I wanted to put my arm around her, tell that I'd teach her, and that I'd take care of those Ravenclaw boys, but behind me I heard a booming voice that interrupted me.

"Who said that they would never get on a broom again? What a truly silly idea. How could anyone be that foolish?" It was James. James, a Gryffindor Chaser and flying genius. I started shaking my head at him, trying to get him to shut up, move away, not get in Anwen's face, but no such luck today. He rounded the couch and saw the little bundle of girl, and instead of taking pity on her, he started to laugh.

"So, your bravado doesn't translate to the Quidditch Pitch? Why Anwen, I'm surprised," he said sarcastically as he saw her.

"Shut up James," she said, in a small voice. She looked as broken as she had that first night. This was the salt on her wounds of the day. Remus had pulled up beside James and put a hand on his shoulder. James may be my best mate, but he hates being told he's wrong, even if the truth is against him. He saw a chance to put Anwen back into what he perceived as her place. He wasn't going to do it if I could help. I stood up and put myself between James and Anwen.

"Don't do this," was all I said. We looked at each other, eye to eye. Neither of us moved for a minute. He didn't understand, I could tell, but he said nothing more. "Go get your broom and mine, we are going to teach her to fly," I told him, not much louder than a whisper, with a smile curling at my lips. James smiled back, he could see where this was going, and he liked it. If this was going to work, we were going to have to surprise her.

"Okay, I'll be right back," he replied. I sat back down next to Anwen, still rolled up, staring at the embers in the fireplace. She didn't see James come back down, and had no idea what was happening when I scooped her up, flung her over my shoulder and took off in a run for the portrait door. Remus held it open as James and I ran through, both of our arms full.

As we ran through the halls, Anwen protested, screaming at me, pounding her fists on my back and kicking. Honestly, I barely felt it; I was laughing too hard and having too much fun to notice. As we made it to the castle doors, I saw Lily running at us, screaming as well.

"Sirius Black put her down! What are the three of you doing to her?" Lily yelled.

"We are kidnapping her to teach her to fly. Care to come?" James responded

"No! Madame Hooch will do that. Don't you dare go out that door. Come back here now!" We could hear her screaming, but we ignored her, and continued to run out toward the pitch. We had a few good hours of sun left, plenty of time to teach her to fly. As we entered the pitch, I was glad to see that it was empty. We didn't need an audience. She needed to learn to fly, and we were going to teach her, she didn't need to feel any worse than she already had. _I need to make it up to her, I never want to see her look that defeated again, at least not if I could help it._ I put her down on the ground, and she again began to beat on my chest. I put my arms around her in a great bear hug, holding her in place.

"I don't want to restrain you again, but you can't hit me. Got it?" I said calmly.

"Fine. I won't hit you," she mumbled, her voice muffled as she was talking into the middle of my chest and my jumper was drowning out her voice. "I don't want to fly. I will fall off again, and then James will laugh at me," she said, pouting. _What is it with her and that bottom lip?_

"You won't fall off, because I will be holding you on. And if James laughs at you, I will tell Lily why his cauldron really blew up in Potions today," I said, eying my best friend. He cocked his head to the side, obviously catching my meaning.

"What?" Anwen whispered into my chest, remarkably calmer than just a minute ago.

"I'll tell you Friday," I whispered back. I let go of her, and she folded her arms across her chest in an exaggerated way. "Fine. Let's get this torture over with," she sighed.

James handed me my broom, and I got on, and then held it down so that she could climb on in front of me. He mounted his as well, while Remus sat down on the ground. He smiled at Anwen, and she responded in kind.

"Part of the problem is the quality of the school brooms. They're old and not very good. They lack the finesse of a true Quidditch broom. You are going to have a much easier time on these brooms, trust me," James was explaining to Anwen.

"What is Quidditch?" she asked. _I keep forgetting that she is a Muggle._

"That will be lesson number two. First we need to get you flying," I told her. "Grab on, and hold tight. I will have you, I promise, you will not fall again," I told her, watching her small hands grab onto the broom. I put my right hand above hers, and wrapped my left arm around her waist. I kicked off gently, and rose only about five feet when James came over, and flew close to my right side. He had his left arm hanging out to his side, attentive, should he need to give her a steadying hand. We slowly started flying around the pitch, still not high off the ground.

"How are we doing so far?" I asked her tentatively.

"Well, I am not on my butt on the ground, so all in all, a better result than this afternoon," she said dryly. I laughed at her humor.

"Good, I'm going to speed up a little. You're going to be fine," I said.

I leaned in, and gained a little more speed. I didn't fly anywhere near as fast as I knew that I could, but it was more speed than our first pass around the pitch had had. James continued to fly next to us. After a few minutes, I felt the tension begin to ebb from her body. I peered at her face, and I could see her smiling. She looked back at me, and it grew. How her mouth filled up so much of her face when she smiled continued to amaze me.

"Having fun?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but because I can fly with you, doesn't mean I can do this on my own," she said.

"Give it a moment. Let's go a little faster," and with that I sped up. Flying now as fast as I would during a pick up game with my friends. Anwen's sweet bell like laughter began to fill the air, and James left our side, confident that she wouldn't fall. He wanted to fly faster, and as a Chaser, he was used to doing so.

"Okay, I am going to loosen my grip around you. I am still here, but I think you can balance on your own now. It's okay," I loosened my arm from around her waist, it was still loosely there, but she was balancing herself. After a few minutes, I moved my hand and grabbed the broom just below her hands. She continued to laugh with delight. We zoomed around the pitch, I directed the broom to swerve and dive periodically. She did well, and then I took my hands off the handle.

"Put those back!" she screeched.

"Nope. You need to steer. I am just going to sit here and relax," I told her, putting my hands behind my head.

"Sirius!" she yelled, grabbing tightly to the handle. She did great, weaving the broom safely to the ground. When we got there, I hopped off.

"Go on, you can do this by yourself. James will fly next to you, but you can do this," I took her little face in my hands and looked her in the eyes, "I know you can," I assured her.

**Anwen POV**

I was still nervous, but before I could protest, James was there at my side. I took a deep breath, and kicked off from the ground. I leaned forward, and the broom took off, climbing toward the sky. It was wonderful. The breeze flitted across my face, tickling my cheeks and drying out my teeth – I was smiling like a mad woman! I could see James out of the corner of my eye, just behind me to my right, but I could hear Sirius, yelling like a crazy person from the ground below. This was amazing. It was like I was completely free, nothing could hold me back. I leaned forward and gained more speed. I climbed higher and higher, and then turned quickly and started diving toward the ground. Before he knew what was happening, I flew right past James, taking my hands off the handle and then ruffling his hair as I passed him. I spun around and landed on the ground, right near Sirius and Remus. As much fun as it was, I was glad to have my feet on the ground.

"James, you may have competition. She can fly!" Remus said laughing as I climbed off the broom. Sirius was cheering and jumping around. He came over and picked me up and spun me around.

"I can't believe you buzzed me. Get back on that broom, I want to race you!" James said, hovering a few feet off the ground.

"No," I told him, shaking my head. "As much fun as that was, I am glad that my feet are back on the ground. Here Sirius, go race James instead," I told him, giving him back his broom.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Completely. Go, have fun," I said. "Beat him too," I added in a whisper only he could hear. With that, Sirius took off after James and I sat down next to Remus. "Sometimes I think that they are younger than I am," I said, looking at the two boys, both three years older, chasing each other, laughing.

"That, Anwen, is because you are old for your age," Remus said, looking at me so kindly. _Why does he always look so sad, even when he is smiling? _I wondered. I returned his smile. We sat watching our friends for a few minutes, and then I turned to look at him.

"Do you like to fly?" I asked.

"Not really. I am much more of a feet planted on the ground kind of guy," he responded without looking at me. A few moments passed in silence.

"What is it that you see in them? They are always up to something, much of the time it is no good; and yet, you seem to be carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don't you think you'd be happier with friends who were a little less, reckless?" I queried.

"Sirius said that you were observant, but I had no idea," he mumbled "I know that it seems strange, but it is their recklessness that allows me to be their friend. I fear that no one else would have me otherwise," he said, looking off into the distance.

"I would, I am your friend," I said, looking at him, smiling. He said nothing, but his eyes spoke volumes. As if, he was surprised anyone would choose him to be their friend.

We sat in silence for a while, watching the flying daredevils speed along the pitch. The sky was turning the most beautiful shade of pink, and I knew that night would be upon us soon. As we sat there, I began to hum, softly, not realizing that I was doing it for quite some time.

When I finished, Remus looked at me, and asked in a hushed tone, "What was that you were humming, it was beautiful?"

"It was an old American folk song that I learned some time ago. It was written at a time of great upheaval, and sadness. The words beg that no more sorrow come, and that happiness would again find a place in the hearts of those who were alive. It somehow reminded me of you. You seem like you could use some happiness, because you have had more than your share of heartache."

"Thank you," He said, full of tenderness and compassion.

"It's getting dark, and I'm getting hungry. Also, I have Transfiguration homework to get to. Shall we?" I asked. Remus stood and gave me his hand to lift me.

"Thank you, you are quite the gentleman," and then, I turned my eyes skyward. "Boys, I want to eat. Get down here now and take me to dinner." _Just because they taught me to fly, didn't mean I wanted them to forget who was really in charge here._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Here, There and Away Again**

**Anwen POV:**

It was Friday night, and as usual, we were awake and roaming the castle. Sirius' birthday was earlier this week, and we had sneaked to the kitchen to see if there was leftover pudding to celebrate, he was fifteen now. We had almost gotten caught once tonight, but we had flitted into the dark before anyone was the wiser. Sirius and I eased our way into an empty classroom, and started laughing.

"One of these days, we are not going to be so lucky," I said, knowing that we were far too foolhardy.

"Nah, and if we do get caught, we can just charm our way out of it," Sirius said, sitting down on a desk, flashing me a crooked smile.

"You do know that doesn't work on me, right?" I reminded him, taking a seat on the desk across from him. I had lifted my eyebrow and the corner of my lip my while looking at him.

"What?"

"That smile; your devilish grin, it works with most people-girls usually, but not with me. Just makes me wonder what you are hiding," I explained and his face fell.

"How could you think that? I don't hide anything from you," he attempted to sweet talk me.

"Right; I somehow doubt that I have learned all of your secrets Mr. Black. Like I don't know who it was that you were caught snogging yesterday by Remus and James," he opened his mouth as if to tell me. "I don't need to know by the way, it's just fun to watch you get teased. The broom cupboard on the sixth floor, really?" I said, smiling innocently at him. "I on the other hand, am an open book."

"No, you aren't. You still haven't told me what was in that letter last week," he said, his face suddenly more serious. That was something I didn't want to talk about.

"It was nothing really. Just some news that I was hoping to avoid, but my parents won't let me," I wanted to leave it there, so I said nothing more. We sat in awkward silence for a few moments.

"Really. That's it. All the information that you are going to give me? You know I have ways of getting it out of you," he said, again smiling at me.

"I told you, that," I said pointing toward his face and wiggling my fingers, "doesn't work with me."

"Oh, I know, but this will," he replied, pulling from the pockets of his robe, a little bag. He reached inside and pulled out a small chocolate.

"You're going to bribe me with chocolates?" I questioned, giddy with excitement. There was nothing I loved more in life than chocolate.

"Not just any chocolates, raspberry creams. Now, tell me what was in that letter, and I will share these with you," he said, knowing from my reaction that he had won this battle.

"Fine. The letter was from my father, telling me that I had to do this thing for my old school. I was hoping that since I was no longer a student I would get out of it, but, no such luck," I told him quickly and then held my hand out for the chocolate, and he plopped one in my hand.

"What do you have to do?" He asked, popping a candy into his mouth as well. I bit into mine, and let the filling ooze out and the wonderful taste fill my mouth.

"This is amazing," I said, putting the rest in my mouth as well.

"They're my favorites. Don't tell anyone, they would probably think its girly or something."

"Your secret is safe with me. I prefer caramels, the soft kind, where it sort of dribbles out when you bite into them. Especially if they are in dark chocolate," I said, sort of rolling my eyes up into my head. Sirius laughed at my funny face.

"So, what is it that you didn't want to do, but you are being made to do?" he asked again, looking at me intently. I sighed; he wasn't going to let this go.

"I have to go to Australia and New Zealand for a concert tour. It's a holiday tour; we go around and sing at local music halls and concert venues. We'll even do an afternoon event at the Sidney Opera House. I'll be gone for four weeks," I explained, looking down at the floor.

"That's amazing. Why don't you want to go?" he asked, passing me another chocolate.

I put the candy in my mouth and enjoyed its flavor. "I was hoping if I wasn't a student, I wouldn't have to go through with this. The first few tours were fun, when I was like eight, but now, it's just old. I get paraded out as a soloist, and made to sing in front of all of these music directors and conductors, like I'm some dog doing tricks. I hate the way it makes me feel," I said, my voice getting quieter as I spoke. "It's like I'm not me anymore, I'm just a voice," The last part was no more than a whisper. Sirius said nothing. We sat in absolute quiet for a few minutes. _This was one of my favorite things about spending time alone with him; we could say volumes to each other without speaking a word. _

"I told my parents that since I wasn't a student anymore, that I didn't want to go. But they said that the school had invested too much time and effort into me that it was my responsibility to go along. The directors were of course, thrilled that they would have their favorite show and tell for the tour. I don't want it. I like going to school here, I have more friends here, in a just a few months, than I ever had in London. Plus, I'll miss the last week of term and the first few of next term. Professor McGonagall said that she would arrange for me to take my end of term exams before I left, and that I wouldn't have any trouble getting caught up next term, but I just hate to be treated differently. Again. I just want to be normal," I hadn't taken my eyes off the hem of the sleeve of my robe. My eyes were stinging with the tears forming in the corners. Sirius slid off of his desk, and came over to sit next to me. My hair had fallen down around my face, and he slid it back and hooked it behind my ear. He put his arm around me and I fell into his chest. He always knew how to make me feel better.

"Hey, don't be sad, I think it's an honor. I would love to see those places, and most of all, I would love to hear you sing it a place like that. It must be amazing. You can tell me all about it when you are back, we will all make sure that you are ready for your tests, and we can help you when you get back. James is excellent at Transfigurations. Lily is a whiz a potions, plus old Slughorn loves her. Peter can help you with Herbology and Remus has a real knack for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I will make sure that you do well in Charms," Sirius told me.

"Actually, I'm doing quite well in Charms," I said, throwing away the comment before I realized it was out of my mouth. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Well, of course you are. You hang out with me, and I'm quite charming," Sirius said, trying his smile out on me again.

"Yeah, and with lines like those, it's no wonder that girls look all doe eyed every time you walk by," I said back.

"What?" He asked me. _As if I didn't notice how they all looked at him, and then how they would glare at me._

"Really? You haven't noticed that half of the female population wanted to you to ask them to go with you into Hogsmeade later?" He shook his head no. I laughed at him. "Oh you silly, silly boy. Come on, let's go," I hopped off the desk and headed for the door.

"Wait, what girls? Give me their names," he demanded, following after me. I shushed him before we got to the hall. "If you can't figure it out, I am not going to tell you. So are you going to Maraud all over Hogsmeade today?" I whispered as we made our way back through the halls. Sirius had the map that he and James had made in his hands.

"Yes, very cute," he teased. "For a while, but Lily did agree to meet James ALONE for a butterbeer later this afternoon, so it will be a smaller group of Marauder's."

"What's butterbeer?" I asked, again being reminded that there was so much that I didn't know, having not been raised in this world.

"It's a drink. It's sweet, without being too sweet, and it kind of slides down your throat," Sirius said, again looking surprised that there was something that I didn't know, that he thought was so simple.

"Well, if it is anything like Muggle beer, then keep it away. That stuff is gross and smells so bad," I said making a face. I had drunk some beer once, and I swore to myself that I would never do it again.

"I wish I could take you along. Maybe I'll bring you some back," he said with a glint in his eyes.

"No thank you. Go have a good time, and when I am older, you can show me everything. Today, I am going to learn the spells to put on make up and do your nails from my roomies. It'll be fun; I can never get my right hand to look as good as my left. Also, I have some extra charms work to do for Professor Flitwick. Then I'll take a nap. Got a full day planned for myself. If you wanted to be nice though, you could leave me the rest of those chocolates you put back in your pocket," I pleaded with him.

"Anything for you little one. Come on, hop on, we will get back to the dorms much faster," he said, as I hopped into my favorite place and we again, flew up the stairs.

My day passed quickly. I really enjoyed spending time with the girls, we talked about boys and they all asked me if Sirius had kissed me. _Well, he kissed me on the head that once, but I don't think that's what they meant. _ They didn't believe me when I said it wasn't like that, but it was the truth._ Honestly, the thought of kissing him, on the lips, was well, gross_. _I didn't really like boys that way._

Late in the afternoon, I took my charms book and my newly acquired bag of chocolates, and went out to my favorite place by the lake to study. Professor Flitwick was impressed by how quickly I had picked up on the simple charms we were doing in class, and he asked me to try a few more advanced things. I got my wand out, and twirled it around in my fingers, I liked the way it felt. After a few tries, I was able to these Charms as well. Within an hour, I felt confident in my skills with all the spells he wanted me to learn. I had also emptied the small bag of all of its contents. It was a warm day for mid fall, and I lay back in the grass to enjoy the sunshine. It wasn't until I felt something tickling my nose that I opened my eyes. Sirius was standing over me, brushing the hem of his scarf on my face. I grabbed it and pulled it off of him.

"That wasn't polite, I think I was asleep," I groused. "What time is it?" I asked him, looking up at him from my comfortable place in the grass.

"Nearly dinner. It took me digging the map out of James' trunk to find you. No one knew where you had gone. What are you doing out here alone?" he asked, still standing above me.

"Oops. I needed someplace quiet to do my schoolwork. I guess the time just got away from me. I like it here, it's quiet," I explained.

"That it is, but I wish you wouldn't go so far from the castle when you're alone," he said, suddenly serious. "Not everyone at school would be kind to you, little one." I remembered what he'd been telling me about some of the Slytherin house boys. He said that they were often at his house with their fathers and a guy who called himself Voldey-something. The crowd made Sirius very nervous and uncomfortable. I couldn't believe that one student would attack another, at least not on school grounds.

"Would you stop worrying? I'm fine. How was Hogsmeade?"

"It was fun. James was doing all right with Lily, until he said something stupid, and she threw the rest of her butterbeer in his face. I swear those two will never get it right."

"Don't be so sure about that," I told him, starting to get up. I gathered my book and stood up.

"I have a present for you," he said, smiling at me.

"A present, really? You didn't have to get me a present. Why did you get me anything? You really shouldn't have, there is no reason for you to buy me anything..." he put his hand up to my mouth.

"Anwen, breathe," he said, holding out a brown bag with handles. "You are the only person I know at school who would appreciate it. So, do you want it?"

"Yes, yes, yes. I love presents. Thank you, thank you," I did a little dance as I waited. I really was excited. He gave me the bag and I looked inside and then I looked up at him.

"It's a French Press. I love it. I can make myself coffee. Sirius, you are the best friend ever," I put the bag down next to my book and flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him. He picked me up and swung me around before putting me down.

"There's ground coffee in there too, so all you need to get is some boiling water from the kitchen, or knowing you, you've already got the charm down for boiling water," I nodded at him. _I had learned it; James showed me how to do it last week. _ "Well then, once you have the boiling water, you can make yourself your coffee. Strong and black, and no one else will have to drink it," he said, making a face at me as he set me down on the ground.

"You really are the best, thank you," I said, smiling back at him.

"Here, give me the bag again, and your book, and get on. There is no way that I can walk all the way back to the castle with you going so slow," he said, and I did what he asked.

I told him about my afternoon, he even looked at my nails, and told me that I did I good job. I was fairly sure he didn't know what he was talking about, but it was a polite thing to say. When I told him that the girls were asking if he had snogged me, he asked me what I said.

"I told them no, since I didn't think about you like that. No offense, I like you, but not like that. Anyway, snogging is kind of gross," I told him, speaking into his ear. He stopped and looked at me.

"Anwen, someday you won't feel that way. Trust me," he said. _He would say that, from what I had overheard, he had more than his fair share of kissing under his belt._

"I'm sure that someday that will be true. Right now though...yuck," I giggled in his ear.

"I hope I'm there when you change your mind," he said quietly. _That's a strange thing to say._

The rest of the fall flew by, and before I knew it, it was mid-December. I was going to leave for London tomorrow. Professor Dumbledore said that he would take me to London, and drop me off to meet the rest of the group that would be flying to Australia. I really didn't want to go. I loved being at Hogwarts, I loved my friends here. Sirius and I sat up late into the night, talking in the Common Room. We were sitting at either end of a couch, with the big quilt between us. The fire was dying down.

"I wish you were more excited about this. You did well on your tests; I was here when you were talking with McGonagall earlier. Really, it will be over soon, and before you know it you'll be back here, and you can tell me all about the neat things that you'll see," Sirius said. I knew he was trying to make me smile, but I really didn't want to. I just didn't want to go.

"Do you realize that I will spend Christmas in a hotel with three other girls that I haven't seen in five months, who I was never very close to anyway? We'll eat dinner in a restaurant, after we had sung two of our three concerts for the day. Sing again, and then I will go to bed, and wake up, and have another day, just like the last one. Do I have to go? Can't I just stay here?" That was it; I couldn't even bear the thought of it. No presents, no family, no friends, not even a tree. Just singing. Right now I wished that I couldn't sing. Tears started falling over my face, he crawled across the couch and picked me up and put me on his lap and snuggled me close. He was the only one who could ever really comfort me.

"Hey, little one, you have to go. I promise that I will be here when you get back. It's going to be okay. Please don't cry," he said. I tried to get a hold of myself. It took me a minute, but for my friend, I needed to be brave.

"What are you doing for Christmas? You aren't going home are you, because you will just get into a fight with your brother," it was a fact, any time that Sirius and Regulus were near each other, their animosity was evident.

"No, I'm going home with James. It should be fun; I get to listen to him moon over Lily for the whole break, as you said, it is better than going home," he was trying to get me to smile. "Mrs. Potter treats me really well when I'm there." I already knew that, he talked about her quite affectionately, calling her his Aunt Julia.

"Yes, it is," I said, sitting up. "I should get some sleep; it's going to be a long day tomorrow. My flight is like twenty-six hours, with four stops on the way, then there's the time change. It's only a few weeks right?" I said, nodding, with a forced smile.

"That's my girl. I have something for you, for Christmas. Do you want it now?" he asked.

"Yes, but I didn't get you anything."

"You don't have to get me anything."

"I feel bad. Can I bring you something from Australia? I get a small cash stipend to spend while I am there. Is there something that you would like? Are there wizards in Australia? Could I find them if there are? Wait, I can't do magic outside of school can I? Should I even take my wand with me? I'm doing it again aren't I?" I said, realizing I was babbling a bit.

"Yes," he said nodding, "but you caught yourself. If you want to buy me something, you can, but surprise me. Knowing you, it'll be interesting. I would leave your wand here, you won't be temped to do something that you shouldn't, and you know the Muggle world, so you should be okay while you are away. Now, do you want your gift?"

"Yes, thank you," he reached beside the couch and gave me a large brown box with a big pink bow on it. I untied the bow, and opened the biggest box of chocolates that I had ever seen. I smiled up at him, and then reached down and tasted one, dark chocolate caramels, my favorite. "I will think of you and smile every day while I am gone. Thank you," he hugged me tightly, and I nearly started to cry again, until he tousled my hair. I let go of him, and we headed to our rooms. I didn't see Sirius before I left for London the next day; it was still dark when I walked out of the castle. I was already counting the days until I would be back.

**Sirius POV:**

We had been back for two weeks already, but the time had just dragged on. Break was fine at the Potter's. It always was, James parents treated me like I was one of their own. They had gifts for me under the tree, I thought that they might so I was glad that I had brought along gifts for them as well. We spent New Years at Diagon Alley. Snogged some girl at midnight, but I couldn't help but think of Anwen. It was already the New Year where she was.

It was a fun break, but I was glad to get back, then, once I was back, time seemed to stand still. I hadn't realized how much I had come to depend on Anwen. It wasn't just her friendship; it was just being around her. The sweetness of her spirit made my days more bearable. I didn't think about my problems at home, or how irritated I was at my Mum for things that really were beyond her control. I could even ignore my brother and his stupid friends. Without her, all my problems seemed bigger. I'd been in detention way too many times while she was gone, but, it was about to be over. Professor Dumbledore was on his way back from London, after picking her up. They were flooing into the Three Broomsticks and then walking the rest of the way up.

I was sitting on the steps, watching the snow fall and waiting for them. I looked out over the meadow that stretched between the castle and the gates; I could see smoke twirling up from Hagrid's cabin, and birds in the distance. The snow fell in large flakes and soon everything was white, and it looked clean and fresh.

I saw them. Dumbledore was dressed in what appeared to be a Muggle suit and overcoat, and Anwen had on her orange and red plaid coat. She hated it, because she said it was 'too ugly for words', and I had to agree with her. I stood up when I saw her. When she caught sight of me, she took off in a run. I had never seen her move so fast. I ran down to meet her. When I got to her, I picked her up off the ground and swung her around. "Welcome home. I missed you," it was all that I could say. My little best friend was back.

Anwen's face was covered in tears. "I am so happy to be back. I missed everyone so much, and I just wanted to be here so bad. I didn't have anyone that understood me, and ...oh Sirius, I missed my best friend so much!" She buried her face in my chest, and I could hear her sob. _She feels the same way about me. _It felt good to know she felt the same things. I put one arm under her legs and kept the other around her back, and picked her up. Professor Dumbledore had reached us at that point.

"I see that she is in good hands now. I sent her bags up to her room already. Miss Hodgson, thank you for a delightful trip back from London. I will see you both at supper this evening. Good day, Mr. Black," the headmaster said, before heading off.

"You ready to go in?" I asked her after he had left us alone. I knew she didn't want to cry in front of other people, and Lily and Remus were both in the common room waiting to see her.

"Yes, thank you. I really did miss you," she lifted her head and smiled at me. I started walking toward the castle doors. She wiped her face off with her scarf. "You can put me down now," she giggled at me.

"Nope. Not gonna happen. I'll put you down on your favorite couch when we get upstairs. Not until then. What kind of friend would I be, if I put you down and you slipped and fell and broke something your first day back? Nope. I think we are safer if I just carry you," I was teasing her.

"You are so silly, but I did miss that smile," she was beaming back at me.

Once we were upstairs, I put her down and helped her get her coat off. She told everyone about her trip, leaving out the concerts. All anyone else knew was that she was on holiday with some people from her old school. I knew we could talk about the singing when we were alone. We went down for supper and then returned to the Common Room. After a while, she ran upstairs to put her coat away, and came down with a bag. She had apparently gotten gifts for everyone. For Peter she had gotten some taffy. She made a face like, "I had no idea what to get him" over his head when she gave it to him. I knew that she hadn't warmed up to Peter the same way she had to James, Remus or I. Peter hadn't done anything to try either. We were all convinced that he was scared of girls, and if Anwen was frightening him, the situation was probably hopeless.

She brought James a small box made of wood with the skyline of Sidney on it. She got Lily a beautiful bracelet made of polished shells. Lily was touched and gave her a big hug. She bought a book for Remus of lyrics of folk songs. She explained how she found it in an old bookstore, and it reminded her of him. Something passed between them as he thanked her. I knew that they had a lot in common, and she was one of the few people who could really make him smile and relax, but I didn't like how he was looking at her. _Stop it Sirius, you're being a git._

She brought back a huge bag of treats of all kinds for her roommates, and the younger girls took off, grabbing things out of the bag as they went. Then, she turned to me. She reached in the bag and pulled out a tee shirt. It was green and on the front of it, it said "Chick Magnet" and had a small line of baby chickens on it, and then the name of some city in New Zealand on it. She burst out laughing when I looked at it. When the rest saw it, they started laughing as well. James was rolling on the floor.

"You do know I will never wear this, right?" I asked her.

"Oh, I know, but I couldn't resist. Honestly, you are a ..." and she pointed at the shirt. _Great, this was great. Brat._

"Thanks so much, Winnie," I knew she hated the nick name, but hey, after this gift she deserved it.

"I told you, I hate Winnie. Why do you call me that? It sounds like whiny," she whined at me.

"Um, if the shoe fits..."

"Fine," she sat back down next to me, and we talked a little more. After a while, everyone started drifting off to bed. We assured her that we would help her get caught up on her school work. By the time we were alone it was very dark out and the tower was quiet and still.

"I have something else for you, I wanted to give it to you when we were alone," she reached into the bag, and pulled out a small ball. It was a snow globe of the Sidney Opera House, it sat on a gold pedestal. "It plays Silent Night. It was the song that we finished every concert with, as the soloist, I had to sing the descant. Every time we would finish, I would remind myself that I was one more concert closer to coming home to my real friends. I thought of how hard you wanted me to enjoy myself. When I saw this, I knew I had to get it for you. I just wasn't sure that anyone else would understand," she said quietly.

I wound it, and it began playing its lovely melody. A moment later, Anwen began singing the descant. Her voice was as beautiful as I remembered. I couldn't imagine how she would have looked and sounded in such a big place, but it must have been amazing. When she was done, I looked at her.

"Thank you. This is the best gift anyone has ever given me," we sat there is silence for a while longer; I knew she had fallen asleep by the soft snoring I heard. I shifted around, stretched my legs out onto the chair across from me, and laid her head down on my lap. I pulled a blanket over and wrapped it around her, and laid my head back and fell asleep.

The winter passed more quickly now, between school, snowball fights, detention and Quidditch, life was a whirlwind. Anwen and I went back to our reliable schedule, and I felt much better just having her around me. Winter moved to spring without much incident, if you don't count Valentine's Day. At one point I considered carrying my Beater bat with me, to keep the girls off. There were way too persistent, and I was convinced that some of them were trying to hex, charm or potion me into liking them.

Anwen saved my sorry arse in her own special way. She took to holding my hand and making doe eyes at me in the hallway for a few days, mocking the girls who wanted to flirt with me. I would kiss her on the head, put my arm around her shoulders, generally made it look like she was my girlfriend. That seemed to drive them off. I owed her big time for that. She laughed at the girls when we were alone. She even took the teasing from James over the whole thing in stride. "Friendly duty," she called it. The guys, Lily and Eva, none of them needed to understand. It just showed how special Winnie was.

Her birthday was late in April. He parents sent her a letter that contained Muggle money. She just rolled her eyes at it. They also told her that she would be spending the summer at her old school in London, boarding with another family that had a daughter there. She didn't say anything, but I knew that it was hard on her. The most devistating news, however, was that they had signed her legal guardianship over to Professor Dumbledore, since she wouldn't be in Wales anymore, and she was at school most of the year. She was deeply hurt by their choice, and couldn't even talk about it. She handed me the letter and let me read it myself. As bad as my parents were, I had some understanding of what they were doing to me. It was all my father, and my Mum was just another victim in his stupid games. This was different, her parents were supposed to love her. How could they be so cruel, just because she wanted something different from them? She didn't talk about it, she would just say that it was "all right, whatever they wanted," and turn her eyes away. I was glad that we'd already conspired to throw her a part.

Lily wrote home and asked her mother to make a cake and send it for Anwen. Mrs. Evans appreciated how lonely Anwen must be and knew that Lily had taken a shine to her. We all surprised Anwen in our dorm room. Her roommates had given her some little trinkets and things from Wizarding Shops at lunch, when they made everyone sing to her for her birthday. She turned seven shades of pink and hid her face under her robes. The evening was just for the Marauder's, Lily and Anwen. Eva had begged off, instead giving Anwen some fancy things to hold her hair back with. Remus had finally worked up enough courage to speak with her on the last Hogsmeade day, but then couldn't follow it up with another conversation for the last three weeks. Things were weird between then again.

Peter got her a new quill. She thanked him for it, and I think he might have blushed at her smile. Next was a gift from Remus. It was a small book, and when she opened it, her eyes danced with delight.

"I didn't know if you knew any Wizard folk songs. Since you seemed to like other ones so much, I thought you would like it," Remus explained, nervous but hopeful at the same time.

"It's so cool. Thank you so much," she put one of her small hands on his and they shared a sweet smile. He hadn't told her his story, but somehow I knew it wouldn't matter when she finally did know. There was a genuine friendship between the two of them, and she couldn't hurt him, even if she tried. Her heart was too big to reject him.

The next gift was from Lily. As she unwrapped the box, Lily could hardly contain her excitement. Inside was a pink sweater, Anwen fingered the pearl like buttons, and lifted it to rub the sweater against her face. "Lily, it's so soft, it's so beautiful," she gushed.

"It's not new. My grandmother made it, and it was my favorite when I was younger. I knew that it would fit you perfectly, I hope you don't mind," Lily explained.

"Are you sure you want to give it to me?"

"There is no one that I would rather give it to," they both had tears in their eyes as they hugged. "Thank you," Anwen whispered.

She sat back down, and then it was time for the gift from James and me. I knew that there was only one thing I really wanted to get her, and we talked about it over Christmas, and after everything that she had done over Valentine's Day, I needed to do something really special. James agreed with me completely, and between the two of us, had pulled this off, magic and all. I handed her the package. It was a small black box, with a red ribbon on it.

"This is from James and me. Happy Birthday Winnie," she glared at me for using her nickname, taking the little box from my hands. Everyone knew what was inside and they were smiling widely.

"What's going on?" she asked, seeing the strange looks on all of our faces.

"You'll see, just open it," I told her.

She took the ribbon off, and lifted the lid. Inside was a miniature broom. She looked up at me, confused. Before she could say anything, I took it from the box, tapped it with my wand, and it grew into a full size broom. It was the right size for her height and weight. She had been practicing on my broom, and she flew really well now, but my broom was just too long and heavy for her. This one was the right size for someone so petite. "You bought me a broom?" she said, completely surprised.

James and I nodded at her. She started jumping up and down and screaming. First she hugged James. "Thank you, thank you, and thank you. This cost too much. You shouldn't have spent the money on me," she gushed.

"It's my pleasure. I have every intention of helping you get on the team next year. You fly so fast, you'll be a great Chaser. No one will catch you," he told her, letting go of her little frame.

She smiled at him, and then turned to face me. I knew what was coming, so when she flung herself at me I was ready. There were no words, her face said it all. There were tears of joy in her eyes and she smiled that big smile that took up half her face. I picked her up and swung her around, feeling the excitement hum through her body. "I knew it would make you happy. Happy Birthday little one," I said out loud, and then in a whisper added "I have something else for you, but it can wait till later," I put her down and she nodded at me.

"Since first years are not allowed to have their own brooms, I'll hold onto it. It's why James shrunk it too. Didn't want anyone catching on," Remus said. Anwen nodded, understanding that we had again found a way to gently bend the rules.

We cut the cake and somehow, Anwen got frosting all over James face. She and Lily giggled as he tried in vain to get it off. Finally, he excused himself to get cleaned up. Within a few minutes everyone else had said their good nights, Lily had gone to her room and Anwen and I went to the common room.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?" I asked her.

"This may be the best birthday of my life. Which doesn't say much, since I'm twelve, but anyway. It was wonderful. Thank you," she told me quietly, taking my hand in hers.

"I have one more gift for you. Would you like it?" she nodded her head. "Okay, close your eyes, and put out your hand." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the silver charm bracelet. I had slipped away with Lily when we on our last Hogsmeade weekend to buy it. I needed a girl's opinion. She thought that it was a great idea. I clasped the bracelet around her wrist. "Okay, open your eyes."

She looked down at it and gasped. Then she looked back at me, then back at the bracelet. She fingered the three charms that were on it, a broom, the number twelve and a small silver heart. "Can you read what is written there?" I asked her.

"_Vox vocis amo an angelus"_ she spoke quietly. "Voice like an angel," she whispered in what sounded like awe.

"I should have known you could do the translation. You do, have a voice like an angel. Don't ever forget that. As long as I live, I will never hear anything so beautiful," I looked at her, tears clung to the edge of her eyes, but she wasn't sad. "Thank you," she said, so soft I wasn't sure if any sound had escaped her lips.

"I plan to add to it, as long as we are friends. We can laugh at it when we are old, at all the things we have done together," she reached over and hugged me. "Happy Birthday," I whispered again. She curled herself up against me, and we fell asleep on the couch in the common room again that night.

April turned to May and then June, which meant exams. Anwen was worried about them, but I couldn't understand why. She was a better student than anyone that I knew, even Lily and Remus. I studied enough, but, I didn't really care. Grades were just not important to me. Whenever I could, I would take her flying. She of course took "Remus' broom", which if he ever did try to mount would have looked ridiculous on, since it was so short. She could fly, really well, and speed was never an issue for her. She could accelerate faster than anyone except for James, but was much lither than he was, turning on a dime and speeding back the other way. We had even played a few pick up games, and she scored against both of us.

The night before we were to leave, she told me she wanted to take a walk. I knew where she wanted to go. Just before twilight, we were headed down to the entrance of the castle, when we saw Professor Dumbledore standing there.

"Miss Hodgson, I believe that you are headed to the lake. May I join you and Mr. Black?" he asked.

"Of course you may," I think that she was blushing.

We walked in silence for a few moments. We must have made an odd picture. Anwen, so tiny, walking quickly to keep up. The headmaster, looking distinguished in his midnight colored robes and half moon glasses, and I, looking like something the cat had drug in. My robes were slightly dirty, and my shirt was un-tucked, and I had taken my tie off and shoved it, halfway, into my pants pocket.

"Have you decided what to do with your school things this summer?" The headmaster asked. I was confused until I heard Anwen reply.

"I think I shall take your advice and leave all of my school things here this summer. I'll take my Muggle clothes and my personal items, but anything pertaining to witchcraft will stay here. Is that all right?"

"Of course, that is why I suggested it. We will send your school list and letters through the Muggle post as to not raise suspicion amongst your host family this summer. I will also be in contact with them and you throughout the summer," he explained, smiling at her. "Would you like someone to help you shop before the next term?" he asked her. _ I'll do it, I'll take her._ I wanted to tell him, but before I could, she was talking again.

"No, I should be all right. I've already talked to Lily, and since I can call her this summer if I need anything, I can just plan to meet her when she does hers. I get around London fairly well, I lived there more than in Wales really," she sounded so grown up. I may have wanted to protect her, but clearly, in many ways she didn't need it.

We reached the lakeside, and Anwen stopped and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Don't be afraid. I am quite eager to see this," he reassured Anwen. "No one has been able to summon the merpeople in this lake for over two hundred years. This is quite a unique talent you have. I am sure that you will succeed again."

She steadied herself and began to sing. Again, her hands moved as that beautiful sound sprang from her mouth. After a few moments, the surface of the water began to break. We stayed back as she approached the water's edge. It was as amazing to watch as the first time I had seen it. After what seemed like forever, she stopped singing and turned back to face the headmaster and me.

"That was, even more impressive than I could have foreseen. Thank you for sharing it with me," and with that, Professor Dumbledore turned and began walking to the castle.

"You ready for your summer?" she asked me.

"No. Haven't packed yet. It's fine. I'll throw everything in my trunk and Mrs. Potter will sort it out once I'm there. She's used to James, so I'm not as messy, in comparison," I had decided to spend the summer with the Potters rather than going home. James was a slob, how he ever had anything clean to wear was beyond me. My parents and the house elves had stopped taking care of me when I was sorted into Gryffindor, so I was used to taking care of my things. James still had mom doing it all for him.

"Great, glad you set the bar so high," she said, laughing at me.

"Are you ready?" I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear her say it.

"My stuff is sorted and ready. I will miss my books this summer, but it will be okay. I guess I will just have to read Muggle books. I have a Shakespeare class this year; that will give me lots to read. I am going to take my wand with me. I think I would be lost without it," we were walking back to the castle now, very slowly. This would be our last night together for a few months, and I wanted it to last as bad as she did. Her slow pace didn't bother me tonight.

"So you will have to study all summer? That doesn't seem fair."

"It's what's best. Everyone is happy if I do summer term at the Opera School. They get to keep me as the soloist, since I am a part time student at least. My parents get to stay in Wales. My mom is pregnant again; I will have another brother or sister in the fall. It works out best for everyone," she sighed.

"What about you? Is it best for you?" I sometimes thought I was the only one who thought about what she might want.

"It's the best I can get this year, first year at the senior school level, so it won't be so bad. At least I get to pick what I am going to take this summer, besides my voice classes. I will study Shakespeare, French and Ballet, voice is art songs, not only opera, which is a change. Not so bad, all in all. Plus, I can keep in touch with Lily. She said she would even come and spend a day with me. I'll be fine," she said, almost like she wanted to convince herself.

"You won't be able to write to me though," we had talked about this, and we hadn't figured out a way. Muggle post couldn't be delivered to the Potter's. The thought of all of holiday away from her suddenly felt like a weight on my chest.

"Nope. No owl post. If I really need something, if it's an emergency, I will have Lily get you a message. Maybe if you can get into London, we can see each other," we just walked in silence for a while. "It's only the summer," I could hear in her voice that she was crying. I stopped and bent down, and motioned for her climb on, and when she did, I ran the opposite way from the castle. If we couldn't spend all summer together, we were going to have fun tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

**The Things We Keep Hidden**

**Anwen's POV**

To my surprise, my summer had flown by, and again, it was September 1 and I was on the platform to get onto the Hogwarts Express. Lily and her Mum and had come into London the day before and we had gone shopping at Diagon Alley for school. I had changed my Muggle pounds into Galleons, and felt wonderful knowing that I had my own money. We bought all of our supplies and then stopped for something to eat. We ran into several friends from school, and it was great to see everyone after having the summer away. We stayed at the Leaky Cauldron that night, and were up talking about school and boys all sorts of things until well after midnight. We got to the train station at 10:30, and got ourselves onto the platform and our things onto the train with plenty of time to spare. We made sure to leave some things in our compartment, to mark it as ours, and then we wanted to get out to the platform again. Lily had been writing James all summer, and they had seen each other a few times, and she was looking forward to greeting him. I just smiled at her. _These two would either fall madly in love, or they'll kill each other_. I still wasn't sure which one it would be.

We stepped back off the train, and started talking with other students that we met. Everyone asked about my summer, and my standard reply was that it was 'nice'. I didn't want everyone to know that I had spent my summer at another school. Eva and Lily had been in touch all summer, so she knew where I had been and what I was doing, or at least as much of it as Lily knew. She had no idea what my old school was really about. When we met on the platform she certainly had some strong words about the whole thing.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be in London all summer?" she chastised me. "We could have done things together. You could have come and spent weekends at my house and been able to get in touch with everyone else."

"I had to do this stuff for my old school," I explained. "I really didn't have much free time."

"Well, don't let it happen again. You are always welcome at my house, probably the same with any of us. Anwen, we're your friends. Friends help each other out," she explained and I smiled at her. I really was very lucky.

Lily scanned the crowd, looking for James, but before she found him, I found Sirius. His black hair was falling down to his collar, brushed just so. _He still spends too much time in front of a mirror._ Our eyes met, and he got the most wonderfully wicked smile across his face. I smiled back, and found myself moving forward. It was like it was in slow motion, there were people in my way, and steam pouring from the engine, but all I could see was his beautiful gray eyes. When we finally got to each other, I simply stood there and look at him. It was like he could see into my heart, he could see how lonely I had been, how hard my summer had been with all the girls who had nothing cordial to say. He could see how hard I had worked, trying to fill my days with things so that I wouldn't cry. Now, he could see how completely happy I was to be with him again. He just picked me up, lifted me in the air and held me. I felt safe and complete and cared for. I could hear James yelling at him to come and get his things, but nothing mattered, he just stood there holding me, looking into my eyes. I was home, finally.

**Sirius POV**

_She has grown, not a lot, she still weighs nothing, but she is taller, she looks different, too. Her hair is all up, she looks grown up. But her eyes, those soft green eyes, like Willow Trees in spring, they seem so sad. How bad was her summer? _ I turned around, still carrying her, and put her down on my trunk on the trolley. She looked at me shaking her head, rolling her eyes, but she didn't complain. I pushed her with my things to the train, and got all of it onto the train. She lead me to the compartment that she, Lily and Eva had put their things into, and I stowed my things away. James and Lily were already sitting together, heads pressed against one another, in some deep conversation. Anwen sat sideways in the bench, looking at me. She moved her head towards James and Lily.

"That's interesting. Has it been going on all summer?"

"Sort of. They would be like this, and then they would be ready to hex each other. At some point I just stopped trying to keep up," I said rolling my eyes. It had been quite entertaining watching James attempt to navigate his way around Lily. "I usually just hung back, and enjoyed the entertainment. Remus would come and spend time with us, and it was hard not to laugh," I smiled at the thought of it.

"Great. Something to look forward to this school year," Anwen said.

**Anwen POV**

The train pulled out of the station, and we all kept up the polite conversation. They wanted to know about my summer studies, and all that I would say is that I had learned a lot, but that I was glad to be back. Sirius bought me some chocolate frogs, apologizing that they didn't have any caramel in them, but I reminded him that chocolate was chocolate. Darkness was beginning to fall, and we decided that it was time to get on our robes. Most of my school things were still at school, but I did have one bag with my Muggle clothes and personal items in it, and I had stuffed in the one new set of robes I bought while shopping with Lily. They were about half way down the bag, so I needed to unpack some things to get them out. I was haphazardly throwing things on the seat, when I saw that Sirius had picked something up.

"What are these? Are they shoes? They look like torture devices," Sirius had picked up my pink toe ballet slippers, holding them by the ribbons, at eye level.

"Yes, they're ballet shoes," I said quietly, feeling somewhat embarrassed that he'd seen them in the shape they were in.

"They look painful!" with that, he squeezed the toe blocking. "What do you do with them?"

"I dance in them. They're so that I can stand on my toes," I said sharply, grabbing them back, and stuffing them in the bag. I didn't think anyone else had seen, and I really didn't want them to.

"Why are they so hard?" he pressed the issue. He wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but he was.

"Honestly, those are fairly soft. I used them all summer," I was mortified by how old and broken they were, and I kept thinking about how the other girls would tease me at dance class. I was hoping he would drop it, but then Lily spoke up.

"Anwen, I didn't know that you did ballet. Why didn't you tell me?" she was zipping up her robe. "I would have loved to have seen you dance this summer," she added, and everyone was looking at me. I wanted to sink under the bench.

"Um, well, it's just that..." I wasn't sure what I wanted to say, but I really didn't want everyone to know what exactly my summer classes were all about. Thankfully, at that moment, the compartment door opened up and in came a boy that I didn't know. I quickly put my robes on.

As the boy entered, Sirius came to stand in front of me, and forced me back down into the seat closest to the window, farthest from the door. Remus and Peter had both stood as well. I looked at the new boy, he was slight with very dark hair that hung in dirty strands down his face. He wore the robes of Slytherin house. _Maybe this was another friend of Sirius' brother, or a relative that Sirius wanted me to have no part of._ Then, I looked across the way and saw that James was trying to get between Lily and the boy. Lily looked beyond annoyed, but Eva was holding her down in her seat.

"Severus, what do you want?" Lily questioned, irritated. She got up as she spoke, but Eva kept a hand on her lower arm.

"I couldn't find you this morning, to help you with your things. Petunia said that you had already left," the boy replied.

"Yes, Mum and I spent the day in London yesterday doing my shopping and then stayed with a friend," Lily told him with a coldness to her voice.

His eyes scanned the room and come to rest on me. I didn't like how his eyes made me feel. I reached up and took Sirius' hand. Sirius leered at him, and a low sound escaped from my friend. _Had he just growled?_ Finally, the boy looked away.

"Lily, can I talk with you alone?" he said, emphasizing the last word.

"No," she said quickly.

"Lily, please," he said, grabbing Lily by her forearm, grasping the sleeve of her robe.

"She said no, Snivelus. Now just leave," James had spoken before Lily could. He rather gruffly removed the boys hand from Lily's arm.

"This doesn't concern you Potter," he spat out the last word.

"It does when you make her uncomfortable," James had stepped in front of Lily, and now he and the new boy were face to face. James was taller and better built. I wouldn't have pushed it if I were the odd boy. Suddenly, the train braked, and we all shifted. Sirius sat down, almost in my lap, but hastily got to his feet again. Lily had fallen forward, and was now being held up by James. He held her tightly, and they were looking deeply into each other's eyes.

Severus, the odd boy, had fallen into an empty seat and was looking at the entwined pair, his face fallen. Sirius and Remus took him by the arms and escorted him out the cabin and closed the door behind him. Then all eyes were on James and Lily. They were still transfixed by one another. Slowly, James put a finger under Lily's chin and lifted her face and kissed her. Eva and I exchanged a smile, Peter looked at the floor while Remus was politely looking away. Sirius started whistling and yelled out "about bloody time!" I gave him a scolding look, but he just laughed louder. Lily blushed and looked down at the away from us.. James kept his arms around her. Lily caught my eye through her eyelashes, and gave me the 'we have to talk later' look. I looked at Eva, who nodded and then I returned to Lily and gave her an understanding smile. I was glad to be back home with my friends.

We had enjoyed the feast, and we girls had talked about her and James at great length. Even with everything that had happened, she still wasn't ready to be his girlfriend, but she was willing to give him a chance. Once everyone was asleep, I snook back downstairs, and was greeted by my favorite face. The fire was going well, he had even brought me some hot chocolate. We were snuggled up on our favorite couch, with our favorite quilt.

"So, we a day before classes. What do you want to do first?" he asked me

"Fly!" there was no doubt in my mind. "I've been thinking about it since I left here last term. I want to try out for the house team. Can you help me get ready?"

"You're a shoo in, but of course I will help you. James will help too. It will be great to have you on the team. Wonder if they make jerseys small enough for you," he asked and I swatted him with my hand. He was rubbing the spot, like I had somehow hurt him. _Like I could hurt him, he's got all those muscles under there._

"Do you think Remus will miss 'his broom'?" I asked.

"No. I think he'll survive. If he wants to fly, he can use James or mine or even a school one, but he really doesn't like to fly," I already knew that, but Sirius didn't know I knew. "Do you want to go to the lake?"

"Sometime, but right now, I am so sick of singing, I would be happy if I never did it again. I want to forget this summer, forget music, forget dance. I just want to do magic and hang out with my friends. We'll go sometime, but give me a few weeks, okay?" I know I was whining, I was just sick of the whole 'voice' thing. I was ready to be a girl again, not an opera prodigy.

"Sure," he whispered, his hand brushing away the hair from my face. "Was your summer really that bad?"

"No. I wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good either. The Walker's, the family that I boarded with, they were very kind and I really liked Clara, their daughter who went to school with me. She's a year older, and it helped, since I was in the senior program for the first year. We had ballet and French together, so that was fortunate. We both worked on a piece sung in French, and it helped a lot to have someone to work with. I'm sorry, but I have to take these off, they are killing my feet," and with that, I reached down and began to take my slippers off. My feet had been very sore and wearing shoes at all was painful. As my slippers dropped to the floor, I heard Sirius gasp.

**Sirius POV**

"Anwen, what happened to your feet?" I said, in shock at what her poor toes looked like. The skin was rubbed raw in places, and she had blisters and callouses all over her toes. They looked they were bleeding too.

"Um, yeah, well remember how I said that I had worn the same shoes all summer. This is what happens when you wear toe shoes too long. Your feet take quite a beating, now that I won't be dancing every day, it will get better," she sounded embarrassed.

"Why didn't you get new shoes if you knew that this would happen?" I couldn't believe that she would have done this to herself on purpose.

"I couldn't afford them," she whispered her voice breaking. I questioned her with my eyes and she looked away and started talking again. "I didn't have the money Sirius. My whole summer stipend went to the Walkers. It was fine, they were very kind and treated me well. However, I didn't have any money until a few weeks ago. See, I got a job, but it took a while to get paid, and by the time I did, term was almost over. I didn't bother with new shoes for a few weeks, so I toughed it out with my old ones," she still wouldn't look at me.

"Anwen, there are spells that would have fixed this," I told her. _I wish I knew some of them, so I could fix her, right now._

"I couldn't do magic, and there was no one around to ask. I saw Lily the other day, but she can't do magic outside of school, plus she didn't know about, well, everything. But we're back, and I will talk with her tomorrow morning," she finally looked at me. The pain on her face was awful to look at.

"No. I am taking you to Madame Pomfrey right now," I stood up, intending to pick her up and carry her to the hospital wing right now.

"No, you are not. It's the middle of the night, and it's nothing worth waking someone up over. Anyway, I don't want to explain why I have all these blisters and bruises. Please, Lily can fix it in the morning, now that she knows that I dance," she was begging me with her eyes. I sat back down.

"I feel so bad for you," I hated that she was in pain.

"Don't," she said sharply. "I do not want your pity. This won't happen again. I got a job this summer, and I have gotten paid and I have money now," she said proudly. _Did she just say she got a job? Who works when they're twelve?_

"What kind of job did you get at twelve?" I asked her, confused.

"I was hired for a musical in the West End. I was great, I got to sing and dance and because we are children, we only had to do five shows a week. Mr. Walker helped me set up my own bank account, and made sure that my checks were deposited correctly. It's my account, well Professor Dumbledore had to cosign on it as my legal guardian, however, it is my money. I even changed most of it into Galleons, so that I could buy my school things. Lily and I just happened to run into Professor Dumbledore while we were on Diagon Alley, so he took me to the bank to change some of my money," she said the last part with a bit of sarcasm in her voice. _Sounds like she didn't think that Dumbledore was there by accident._ "Sirius, I've never had much, so not having new shoes wasn't such a big deal. It's good to know if I need new ones in the future, I will be able to take care of myself," she said very resolutely. I had never really thought about some of what she has to go through.

"Anwen, you continue to amaze me. If Lily can't fix up your feet, Remus will be able to. He is really good at taking care of cuts and scratches and things. Are you sure that you're not in too much pain?" I was worried about her.

"I'm sure. I feel better than I have in a long time," she paused, "because I'm here with you," with that she snuggled in closer, laid her little head on my shoulder, and began to doze._ I wanted to tell her that I was better too, because I was here with her, but she was asleep before I could._ The last thought I had as I fell asleep, was of Anwen, and how she made even rotten things seem like they were a privilege.

I hadn't realized just how hard fifth year was going to be, until I got here. The teachers were really piling it on, and all that anyone could talk about was the whole O.W.L. tests that we would have to take at the end of the year. It had only been five weeks and I was already bored with the whole thing. The only time any of us relaxed was when we would go out and practice on the Quidditch Pitch. James was confident that he would again be a Chaser, he really was better at it than anyone else at school, but he still had to try out again this year. I felt fairly confident that I could again be on the team as a Beater. Plus, since my brother was a chaser for Slytherin, I was happy at a chance to throw things at him without any real threat of consequence. Neither of us needed much practice, but we were there almost every day. The practice was for Anwen.

She still flew like a bird. Small and fast, she was able to fly circles around both of us, and when she had the mind, I wasn't sure if there was anything that she couldn't out fly. The problem was her confidence. The minute she thought that someone else was watching her, she would get nervous and falter. She almost fell off her broom again. Fortunately, I was able to fly up and stop her, without her knowing that I knew she almost fell off. Time was helping, but as the day of the try outs approached, James and I were both unsure whether she would fly as well as she could, or if her nerves would get the best of her.

On the day of the tryouts the three of us walked to the pitch Anwen flanked by James and I, each holding our own brooms, we were keeping the conversation light. Anwen appeared to be green. We sat down in the stands, and Margaret O'Lannon came out to stand in front of everyone who had come to try out. Maggie, was tall for a girl, with a huge amount of red hair on her head. She spoke in a thick borough. She had played Chaser for the last five years, since she was a second year. She would be a good captain. We had only lost one player from last year, Breda MacTowig who also played Chaser. Everyone would have to try out again, but we were sure most of last years team would be together again this year. That would be a good thing as we had won the Quidditch cup.

"It's good to see so many new folks here to try out this year. Everyone will get a chance to fly, so be patient. The first set that I want to see out here are those who would like to be Seeker."

Laura, our Seeker from last year, along withfive others went out. After only a few minutes, it was obvious that Laura would have her spot back. It's not that the others were bad, it was just that she was that good. Next up were the Keepers. Ian Anderson, the Keeper for the last two years, again got the spot. It didn't hurt that he was the size of a house. _ I swear he is part giant that guy._ _I'm not sure how his broom kept him in the air._ Next, Maggie called for the Beater try outs. I got up, and went out to the pitch, James sat next to Anwen. When it was all over, I was sure that I would again make the team. I flew fairly well, and I was certainly faster than anyone else. Maybe all of that extra practice was good for me too. Finally, Maggie called for the Chasers to come forward. Anwen rose, along with James, looking like she was walking to her own death. James pulled on the pony tail that she had hanging down her back, and she smiled and shook her head at him. We passed on the stairs, and I grabbed her hand and looked her right in the eyes, "You can do this, I believe in you," she smiled back at me, and kept walking forward.

She flew well, really well. She was the fastest on the run around the pitch and she had managed to score four out of the five times she tried. Maggie dismissed all but three, Anwen and two boys that were in the third year. _I bet that she was debating who would make the team_. Then she called me and Rob Stevenson out to the pitch. We were both Beaters last year, Maggie appeared to want us to practice with the finalists, see if they were up to having the bludgers flying at them. We rose up, and I smiled at Anwen. We started off slow, and as everyone got more comfortable, we started playing a little harder. After a few minutes, Anwen had the quaffle and was making a break for the goals. She was flying right at me. I hit the bludger wide, missing her by a few feet. She looked at me with a confused look as she flew past, scoring easily.

Again, a few minutes later, we found ourselves in the same situation. Again, I couldn't bring myself to hit the stupid thing at her. She was so small, I could hurt her. Again, it went wide. This time she flew past, with her eyes blazing. She scored again, but when the quaffle flew, she turned and flew over to me, stopping right in front of me.

"What in the world do you think that you are doing?" she spoke in a quiet, deliberate voice. It would have been easier if she had just yelled at me.

"Um, I'm playing Quidditch," trying to be all cool and collected.

"No! You aren't. Do you not want me to make the team? She isn't going to trust me if she can't see me dodge anything. You don't have to protect me Sirius! Hit the damn thing like you mean it, or you are going to have a bigger problem than you can imagine. Don't make me have to tell you again!" with that she flew away. Fine, if she wanted to play rough, so would I. I was so angry at her right now. She yelled at me in front of everyone. _Of course, she's right, but that was beside the point._

The rest of the tryouts, I was merciless. I was older, I was stronger. I wasn't going to go easy on her anymore. She flew even better once I was really trying. She only got hit once, but it didn't deter her and she went on to score. After a few minutes Maggie called us all down, and let us know that she would post the list by the weekend. I was sure that Winnie would make the team.

As we broke, I started walking toward the stands, where James was getting up. Then, I was on the ground. Anwen had tackled me to the ground and was sitting on my back.

"That was sooooo awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting me ready!" then she messed up my hair, _I told her not to touch the hair_. With that I started to stand up, which made her slide down to the ground. I turned around, picked her up and held her in my arms.

"I thought you were angry at me?" I questioned her.

"I was, but then you got angry, and kept trying to knock me off, and it made me work even harder. Maggie seemed really impressed," she had that silly impish grin again. _She had totally played me. _

"You know, you are completely annoying right now? However, you did fly well. Come on, lets go back, and get some supper," I put her down, and picked up my broom, as well as hers. I was leaning down, to let her climb on my back, when I heard Maggie.

"Anwen, can you come here for a moment?" Maggie said

"Um, sure. I'll be right back," Anwen said, and trotted off to talk with Maggie. _ I wonder what that is all about._

**Anwen POV:**

"Maggie, is everything all right? Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"Oh no darling, I just wanted to tell you that I was really impressed with the way you flew today. You are quite good, and I think you will be happy when the list comes out. You should really think about becoming a Seeker, you fly well enough. Of course, that broom doesn't hurt. Where did you get a custom build like that?" Maggie asked me.

"Um, it was a gift. I really don't know anything about it," I told her.

"Well, whoever bought that for you, must really care about you, because that it is one expensive broom. I couldn't ever afford something like that. That grip alone is worth more than my whole broom," she said. _Really?_

"Yeah, I think that they do," I looked over at James and Sirius, and a pang of guilt hit me. _How much had they spent on my broom?_

"Yeah, well, I also wanted to ask you. What's going on with you and Sirius Black? You said something while you were flying, and then I saw how you tackled him on the ground. Is there something that I should know? Will it effect the team?" she asked me. _Crap, I hope that I hadn't just screwed things up._

"Oh, no, nothing like that!" I said, emphasizing the nothing, and adding a horrified face for good measure. "We are just friends. He's like my best friend, but that's it," I added.

"Oh, okay," a big smile crept across Maggie's face. _I know that look._

"Do you like him?"

"Well, he is cute. Is he dating anyone?" _Dating, um dating is an odd term with Sirius. He really didn't take girls anywhere, except for that darned broom closet on the fourth floor. I wonder if James and Remus have found out about this one?_

"Not that I know of, and I am fairly sure that I would know," I smiled back at her. "Go, talk with him, we were headed to the Great Hall to eat, why don't you join us?"

"Um, okay," she smiled back at me.

"Hey James, can you come here for a second, I need your help with something. Sirius, give him my broom. You can walk up to the dining hall with Maggie. We'll be right there," I yelled to the two of them. Sirius handed James my broom, and James started walking over. "You can thank me later. Go on," I told Maggie, giving her a little shove. Maggie started off towards Sirius, as James approached me.

"What did you need?" James asked me, looking puzzled.

"Nothing really. Maggie has a crush on Sirius, and I figured that I would give them a moment alone. We can hang back here for a moment, and then we'll head in. I know that Remus and Peter are waiting for you," I told him. They had wished us all luck before the tryouts.

"Are you okay with Maggie and Sirius getting together?" James asked, puzzled.

"Sure. I think she would be good for him, a complete handful herself, she might tame him a little," I said with a laugh.

"I thought that the two of you..."

"Sirius and I. Oh, no way," I said shaking my head. " I mean, I like him, a lot, but he is just my friend. Our relationship is like brother and sister, nothing more. I would be lost without him, but I don't want to be his girlfriend," I continued, and then a thought went through my head. "James, I'm only twelve, gross," I said making a face.

"Okay, okay. I get the picture. Sorry I asked. Can we go now?" he asked apologetically.

"Sure. I do have a question for you? How much did you spend on my broom? I get the feeling it cost quite a bit," I asked as we started walking.

"Um, yeah, well that is something that you need to talk to Sirius about. He picked it out, and paid for most of it. I think you need to hear it from him, not from me. Okay?" he told me. I didn't like the answer, and it caused me to sigh.

"Sure. Thanks again," _it really is an awesome broom_.

"After seeing you fly today, it was money well spent. You are going to be hard to catch," he said, giving me a little swat on the shoulders.

James and I walked talking about Quidditch the rest of the way. When we reached the Great Hall, we found our friends. Sirius was sitting between Remus and Maggie. Lily was on the opposite side of the table next to Peter with a spot open for James. There was an empty spot next to Remus, and I sat down.

"Do you want me to shift over, so you can sit next to Sirius?" Remus asked me.

"Nope. I am quite happy right here. He seems to have his hands full at the moment, and you and I have barely spoken since we got back," I replied.

He smiled back at me and we fell into an easy conversation about school. When supper was over, Maggie and Sirius got up from the table together. He pulled on my ponytail and gave me a smile as they left the Great Hall together. We would have a lot to talk about on Friday night.

We met on Friday, but Sirius had to cut it short, he was meeting Maggie. _He's never missed a Friday, ever, except when I was away. Now, he was missing one so he could go and see a girl._ I nodded at him, and turned to leave. I didn't want him to see me upset.

"Anwen, meet me tomorrow, we'll have our fun then, I promise. Just us, okay?" he said to my back. I nodded at him and went up to my room, where I cried into my pillow.

It was a little past midnight on Saturday when I went back downstairs. I brought one of my Shakespeare books with me. I had really enjoyed my class, and there were so many plays that I didn't have to read, but I wanted to take the time now. Tonight I had The Tempest with me. I added a log to the fire, settled down on the couch and threw the blanket over my lap and decided to wait for Sirius. The full moon was glowing brightly and I loved the way the light bathed the common room in a sort of soft blue. I waited, and waited, and waited.

At about three in the morning, I crept up to the stairs into the boys dormitory. _ Did Sirius fall asleep, and forget to come down? Was I really ready to wake him up? _ As I crept into their room, I was unsure of what I was going to see. To my shock, I found the room completely empty. Sirius was out with the boys, when he told me that we would meet tonight. I went back down the stairs, and returned to my couch.

_What were they doing? Why didn't he tell me? _ I didn't want to, but I found myself crying... I'm sure that it must be important for all of them to be out, but he hadn't said anything. _First, he dumps me for his girlfriend, and now his room mates. Maybe we aren't best friends. Maybe hanging around with a stupid second year isn't really what he wants to do. He's a fifth year, and he's almost sixteen, why would he want to hang out with me? _ I don't know when it happened, but at some point I fell asleep. I heard something behind me, and I roused myself from my slumber. Bright light was streaming in through the windows, and I wiped the sleep from my eyes. Someone had come through the portrait. I opened my eyes, and turned around to see who it was. There stood Sirius and Peter, looking like they had dragged themselves through the mud and leaves in the forest. Sirius froze when he saw me.

"Were you down here all night?" he asked me.

"Yes, you told me to meet you last night," I answered. _He had forgotten. He'd forgotten me._ My eyes starting filling with tears again, but I bit the inside of my cheek hard to make it stop. He wasn't going to see me cry. I wouldn't let him know how much he had hurt me.

"Anwen. Oh, God, I forgot it when I told you to meet me. There was something that we HAD to do," he said, coming closer. Peter snook past him and headed upstairs.

"What?" I asked. More than a one word question would have betrayed me, and I was sure that I would have started crying.

"I...I can't tell you. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that it isn't my secret to tell. Please believe me, if it were anything else, I would be telling you right now, but it is really important that no one else knows," he tried to explain, he looked sorry, but I wasn't sure anymore.

I couldn't look at him. He didn't even care enough to tell me where he had been. I'd had it. I threw the blanket off, and took off for the stairs. Sirius tried to grab my hand, but I shook him off. The tears started falling down my face before I was to the first floor, and I could hear him calling after me, but he wouldn't follow because he couldn't. There was some sort of spell that kept the boys out. I was thankful for it. I had cried in front of Sirius one too many times, I had no intention of doing it again. Ever. I flung myself into my bed and buried my head in my pillow and cried myself back to sleep.

I didn't leave my bed for the rest of the day. Lily came up with a sandwich when I missed supper. She said that Sirius was downstairs and really wanted to talk with me. I told her I had no intention of speaking to him, or anyone else right now. She finally left when she realized that I wasn't going to talk with her.

I knew I would have to leave my room tomorrow, but I knew his schedule, so I figured that I could miss him. The next three days passed the same way. I worked very hard to not see Sirius. I would sneak in and out taking something that I could carry from the Great Hall without anyone noticing, or my friends would bring me food. I even sat with Eva at the Hufflepuff table twice, blending in with her roommates there.

James and Lily kept trying to get me to talk with him, but I had nothing to say. If he didn't trust me, well, then there wasn't anything to discuss. On Thursday after classes were over, I told my roomies that I was going for a walk. They promised to bring me back something to eat, so I went down to the lake. I didn't want to sing, but I really wanted to be alone. I sat looking at the water, remembering being here with Sirius, and I started to cry again. I wrapped my arms around my knees and started rocking back and forth. I was so mad at myself. _Why was I crying again, hadn't he gotten enough of my tears?_ I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I could feel my shoulders shake and my chest heave. _ I missed him so much._

I was finally starting to calm down, when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. _ Oh no, is it Sirius?_ I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be him or not, so I turned around slowly. My eyes met Remus' eyes.

"Anwen, we need to talk," he looked awful. His face was white and drawn and his eyes looked sunk into his head. He had scars on his face and hands and his hair was every which way. _What the heck happened to him. He looked like he'd been in a fight, and been sick this week._ I realized that in my anger, I hadn't been a very good friend. I didn't even realize I hadn't seen him. He sat down next to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but he put his hand up to stop me. He then continued speaking. "I know that you are very mad at Sirius right now, but he's torn up inside that you aren't talking with him. He wanted to tell you, but I told him that he couldn't. You see, it's my secret that he is keeping. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be friends when you found out. I see now that I have to tell you. I can't sacrifice your friendship with him to save ours. Please don't hate me when you find out what I have to tell you," I looked at him. There was such fear in his eyes. I reached out and touched his arm.

"I could never hate you," I told him honestly.

"Don't say that until you hear what I have to say, Anwen. Sirius, James and Peter were with me. They were helping me, with a little problem that I have," he stammered through this sentence, looking down at the ground. "Anwen, I was bitten by a werewolf when I was a child. I was infected, and every month at the full moon, I change. My friends, they have learned some very powerful magic, so that they can be near me to help me on those nights. You can't tell anyone. There are only a few people know that I change, and no one knows of the help that my friends give me. I know I can trust you, I just hope that you will still be my friend, now that you know," he was still looking at the ground. Again, tears were flowing from my eyes, but they were not for me. They were for Remus. How sad he must feel, knowing that he has to hide from everyone. I couldn't imagine how lonely he must be. _ How could I have been so selfish? All week, all I had thought about was how I felt, not considering how my behavior had effected anyone else._ I reached over and took his hand. It was hard and calloused against mine.

"I will always be your friend. I promise. I swear that I will never tell anyone. Thank you for trusting me," his mouth fell open at my words, and then they curled into a smile.

We sat there in silence until it was nearly dark. We stood and walked back to the castle in silence. There was nothing else that needed to be said. When we reached the Great Hall, Remus and I sat down together. My roommates were glad to see me there and smiled gladly at me. Sirius wasn't there. I asked James if he knew where he was, but he said that he wasn't sure. I ate something quickly, and headed back upstairs. When I got to the common room, he was sitting in my favorite seat, reading. Before he could even stand up, I was throwing myself over the back of the couch, crawling up next to him, flinging my arms around him. "I am so sorry. I will never, ever, ever, get mad again. At least I won't get mad without giving you a chance to explain. You are such a good friend, not just to me, but to Remus too. I am so sorry that I doubted you. Please tell me you forgive me, please," I begged him.

"Anwen, there is nothing to forgive. I missed you so much this week," he said, taking my face between his hands.

"I missed you too," I whispered. He let go of me, and I settled down next to him. We sat there for a moment, next to each other, my head on his chest, his arm around my shoulder. My best friend was back by my side, there was nothing left to say. I looked down in his lap, and my Shakespeare book was there.

"You were reading my book?"

"Yeah. It made you feel like you weren't so far away," he rolled his eyes at the stupidity of his comment. "Anyway, I guess you understand why I couldn't tell you now," I nodded at him. "I really wanted to, I wouldn't have bailed on Friday night if I had realized what this weekend was. The full moon was in the middle of Saturday night, or early Sunday morning," he said, clearly confusing himself as he talked. "You get why this is so important, and why I couldn't tell you? Right?"

"I do, I understand now, and in the future, I will watch the calendar more closely," I said, and then I sighed. "If you need to miss a Friday, just tell me ahead of time," I whispered, and he looked at me sort of shocked. I didn't like how he was looking at me, so I changed the subject. "What I don't understand is what magic is Remus talking about? Can you tell me?"

"I think I can, but, like everything else, this is secret, okay?" I nodded my head in agreement. He looked around to make sure that we were alone. "Do you know what an Animagus is?" I shook my head. "It's a witch or wizard who can change their appearance into an animal. James and I started working on it in our second year, when we began to understand what exactly Remus was. It took us well over a year to get the magic to work right, but it was important. If we are animals, we are strong enough to control Remus. If he did somehow bite us, we wouldn't be infected. After we got it right, we taught Peter the magic. The only other person who knows is Lily. James told her this summer," he said, rolling his eyes. It made me smile. "No one else can know," he told me.

"I understand. Can you tell me, what animal do you become?" He smiled that wonderful crooked smile.

"A big black dog," he said proudly.

"Well, that's barkingly wonderful!" we both laughed.

We talked a while longer, and when he saw me yawn, he insisted that I head upstairs to bed. My homework could wait, I really was tired.

"Anwen, see you tomorrow night," Sirius called to me, just before I started up the stairs.

"Of course, it's Friday night!" I called over my shoulder. The last thing I heard was his wonderful bark like laugh. Even that thought made me smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**This is what happens when you make a little witch angry!**

**Sirius POV:**

The fall flew by; we celebrated my sixteenth birthday. My uncle had written and said that he had transferred a rather sizable amount of money into my account as a gift. He was always my favorite, and Mum often sent my brother and I away to be with him. It was done to keep up away from Father. I couldn't imagine the flack that he was going to take for doing this, but I wasn't going to turn it down either. It meant freedom for me, I wouldn't ever have to live with my Father again.

The school work was getting harder, and there seemed to be increasing in volume. There was so much of it, James and I were even trying to stay out of detention. _We weren't succeeding, but hey, we were trying. We only pranked the Slytherin Quidditch team three times this week. _Friday nights and Quidditch were the only fun that seemed to be had.

We had done well in our first match of the season. We played Hufflepuff first, Slytherin had somehow gotten their whole schedule reorganized, so that they wouldn't play us until later in the year. Hufflepuff wasn't really very good. They had lost all but two of their players, since last year they were almost all seventh years, and we only just beat them for the cup. With having had only a few weeks to pull together, the team wasn't very cohesive. Our team, on the other hand, was almost the same as last year, the only addition was our new chaser – Anwen. Maggie, James and Anwen had found a rhythm and they were great together. Together they had scored over one hundred points when Laura caught the Golden Snitch about fifteen minutes into play. The game was over fast, and we won by over two hundred points.

At the celebration party, I was with Maggie. We had gotten closer and I was definitely enjoying her company. _She can snog quite well._ James and Lily weren't talking again, so they sat on opposite sides of the room, staring at each other. Remus had somehow worked up enough courage to talk with Eva, so they were off walking on the grounds somewhere. Bringing her to the party to celebrate our victory over her house team was in poor taste, at least according to Remus.

Anwen and many of the younger girls were dancing around the room, making a bit of mischief, I could hear them plotting something. _That's my girl. _ After a while, Anwen yelled over that she was going up to bed. I stopped snogging Maggie, and told Anwen to hold up for a second, and ran up to my room. I had gotten something for her, that I wanted to give her on the day that we won our first Quidditch match as team mates. I came back down the stairs, and handed her the small box. Bouncing on her toes when I put it in her hand, she smiled when she opened it. It was a snitch charm for her bracelet.

"Thank you," she smiled back and me and touched my face. Her sweet smile was enough to light up a room.

"You were great today, I just wanted you to remember it. Good night, little one," I kissed the top of her head and she turned and went up to her room. When I turned around, I met Maggie's eyes. She was looking at me with anger in them.

"What was all that about?" she asked me. I walked over to her, and I tried to explain that it was just a little something for my friend. I told her about the bracelet and how I thought it was important to remember today. Then Maggie got more testy than a grinylow out of water. She was asking why I hadn't bought any jewelry for her. I tried follow along with her rant but I really couldn't; the gist however, was that if I had been close enough to buy Anwen the bracelet, then maybe I should be going out with her instead. It ended with Maggie walking off in a huff and my looking at James utterly confused. He just went back to sulking. She also told me that we were through. _Okay, another reason not to keep a girlfriend for too long, they get all needy and possessive._ The next team practice a little weird; Maggie kept yelling at me, and she wouldn't talk with Anwen at all. I know we were glad when it was time for the holiday break and we wouldn't see each other for a few weeks. _You've got to talk with her when the new term starts, and try to straighten it out, but for right now, we are on holiday and the castle is nearly empty. Time for some fun. _

Anwen stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas, even though the Evans' had invited her to their home. There hadn't been a letter from her parents since the first week in September, and that was just telling them that the Walker's had returned some of her summer stipend to them, and told them how proud they were of her and the job she did in the musical. Anwen didn't even try to find out if she could go to Wales for the holiday.

She had somehow gotten out of singing for the holiday concert series this year. I didn't ask how she had done it, but it was obvious that it was making her very happy to not have to go. When Professor Dumbledore told her that he'd worked it out for her, he winked, and she glowed in response. I stayed back too, although I knew I was welcomed at James house. It would be much more fun here, with her.

On Christmas Eve and we were walking around the castle. Anwen was riding on my back and we were exploring empty rooms.

"Are you sorry that you are here for break?" she asked me.

"Are you crazy? I didn't want to go to my house, and as nice as James parents are to me, they are still James parents. Nope, being here with you is all the family that I need. Anyway, we have weeks to get into trouble here!" I gave her a wicked smile, and she just laughed. We rounded a corner, and came face to face with the headmaster. Anwen stopped laughing, and tried to get down, but I held her in place. _We're not doing anything wrong._

"Miss Hodgson, Mr. Black, I trust that you are enjoying your holiday?" he asked us.

"Yes, sir," we replied in unison.

"Tomorrow we will have a special holiday feast. Miss Hodgson, I know that you have kept your voice a secret from most of your classmates, but since there are so few students here now, I was hoping that I could impose upon you to sing something for us at the feast?" Professor Dumbledore asked her.

"I would be honored. Thank you for asking," she replied with sincere kindness in her voice. I was surprised.

"Well, I will see you at supper tonight then. Good day," and with that, he walked off. Anwen and I took off in opposite direction. When I was sure that we were far enough away, I turned my head and asked her "Why did you say yes? I was sure that you wouldn't want to sing, especially on Christmas," I remembered how much she hated the tour she was on last year, and she is so happy she didn't have to do it this year.

"Don't you see, he asked; he gave me chance to say no. I haven't been given the choice in many years. Since I could choose, and I knew it would make people happy, I was willing to say yes," she explained.

"Oh, all right," it was all that I could think to say. We walked by a window, and I noticed that it was starting to snow. Anwen was excited by the snow, and made me promise to take her out in it sometime. We stayed up late into the night again, drinking hot chocolate and watching the snow fall. I didn't realize it until to late that she fell asleep again. I was getting tired as well, but I really didn't want to sleep on the couch. I was getting too tall and my feet kept falling off the end, it wasn't comfortable. I couldn't take her to her room, because of the spell on the stairs, but I didn't want to leave her here alone either. Finally I decided to pick her up and carry her up to my room. I pulled back the sheets and put her down in James bed, and then I laid down and went to sleep in mine.

I was awoken the next morning with a screech; Anwen was sitting up in James bed looking at me and the room.

"How did I get here?" she asked, looking scared.

"Um, you fell asleep on the couch, and I didn't want to leave you there, so I brought you up here. The sheets are clean," I was still trying to get the sleep out of my brain.

"Oh, I guess that's okay," and with that she slid back down into the bed and turned to look at me. We laid there talking for what seemed like half the morning. Finally, I looked at the foot of the bed and realized that there were gifts there. I asked her if she thought she might like to open hers, and she squealed. _I think she may have forgotten that it was Christmas._ We both opened gifts and talked and laughed for hours, telling me stories about holiday concerts and her life in Wales. _It sounds like she misses her family, I wish I could say that I missed mine._ We opened our gifts to each other last, she had gotten me new Quidditch gloves. After our conversations about money, I knew that she may well have spent much of her summer earnings on these, and I felt a little bad about taking them. However the smile on her face was too wonderful to ever take it away, so I just thanked her. She then posed a question that took me by surprise.

"Sirius, how much did you spend on my broom?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, several people have commented on it, that it's a custom build and have insinuated that it would be expensive," she explained. _Damn, I hoped that she wouldn't ever ask this._

"I won't tell you. I have the money, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend it. Anyway, I couldn't have you on any old broom, you needed something special, just like you," I told her.

She dropped it, but there was a sadness in her eyes. We went downstairs, finally, and joined the others for the feast. There were only ten students, as well as the staff that lived on site. The meal was amazing and after dinner Anwen sang a carol for us. I didn't know it, and I wasn't even sure what she was singing, since she sang it all in French, but it was beautiful. Several of the women had tears in their eyes when she was done. She just smiled and quietly thanked them for their kind words to her. After a while, we returned to the common room, but we decided that it was much more comfortable to sleep in beds. Anwen changed and met me back upstairs. She slept in my dorm, in James bed for the rest of holiday. We decided that this was something that James never needed to know about.

**Anwen POV:**

The new term started off quickly. If I thought my fifth year friends were busy before, the closer we got to the end of term, the more work they seemed to have. Lily was happy to have my help tending to Remus after his 'monthly episodes'. I would sit with him, and help heal his wounds and nurse him back to strength. Lily had taught me all the necessary spells and was even teaching me how to brew the potions that she used. However, the OWL exams were making them all crazy. As strange as it seemed, this little time each month was a welcomed respite from the stress of school.

Our second Quidditch match of the season is with Slytherin. They had been beaten by Ravenclaw, but only by twenty points. It was a very physical game, and members of both teams had ended up in hospital. Sirius and James were both concerned about my safety; I gently reminded them that life would be hellish for them if they smothered me. _ I swear, if they treat me like a little kid, I will hex both of them in a rather uncomfortable place. Sitting down will be a challenge._

Play started off slow when game day finally came. Both teams were trying to flesh out the other. Maggie and Sirius had put aside their differences and agreed to work together on Quidditch things. It didn't hurt that Maggie had started dating Ian, and they were much better suited for each other.

The plan was brilliant. They wanted me to fly slow. Maggie and James would get the majority of the quaffle passes early on, then once the other team thought that they knew what we would do when we got the ball, they would throw it to me, and I would fly faster than the wind. We were hoping to keep the score close, until they had me start really flying and then we could rack up the points, and trust Laura to do what she does best – catch the Snitch.

The game was going just as we planned, and then –whop – I was hit in the face with a bludger. _ I wasn't anywhere near play, I was half way out of the pitch, closer to Laura, watching what was going on. What the heck was that about? _Simultaneously, three things happened: James quickly flew over to help steady me, I was hit so hard that I was slipping off my broom. Maggie flew over to Madame Hooch to complain and Sirius flew over to the beater who had hit the ball. I was going to be okay, but I could feel that I would have a huge bruise on my face. James was still steadying me as we flew down closer to Maggie.

Madame Hooch stopped play, and reprimanded the Slytherin who had hit me, and gave us a penalty shot. Maggie took them, I was still feeling a little dazed. I looked over at Regulus, Sirius' younger brother, and he was glaring at me; somehow I knew that he was behind all of this. Maggie scored all the points she could. Before regulation play began again, I flew over to Sirius and grabbed his face and looked him squarely in the eyes. "Don't do anything! Let me fight my own battle!" he smiled at me, and nodded his head. _Smart boy; knows I'll get him if he doesn't._

Once we were in play again, I flew like a tornado. I was so angry that there was that I wasn't afraid of anything. Regulus got the quaffle, and then I decided that it was time to play a little human game called Chicken. I was flying at him, straight at him, as fast as I could. We got within about one hundred feet, and I was still accelerating, I saw it dawning on Regulus that I was not going to pull up, and he swerved to miss me, dropping the ball. I scooped it up and took off for the goal. I swerved and threw and scored. I was flying back towards my team mates, when I heard the stands erupt. We all looked up, and Laura was waving her hand wildly. She had caught the snitch. We had won the game. There was nothing as sweet as looking at the Slytherin team, and sticking my tongue out at them.

The rest of the spring flew by. My birthday had passed, I was thirteen now – it was a big deal for me, I was a teenager. I had spent my birthday in London, doing something very significant. No one knew where I was, except for Professor Dumbledore, who had escorted me into the city for the day. When I returned, my friends surprised me with cupcakes and gifts. I was so happy. It was a great day, now I just had to wait and see if everything had worked out the way that I hoped.

A few weeks later, Lily, Eva, and I were studying with two of my dorm mates, Corinne and Katie. We were sitting in the Great Hall, with books, parchments, quills and ink spread out all over everything. Exams were only weeks away, and we all had lots to do. It helped Lily to be downstairs, away from the common room, she didn't seem so nervous. The boys were out for the night, due to the full moon. Lily and Eva sat on one side of the table, the three of us younger girls were on the other side. Professor Flitwick had assigned me extra charms work, again. _ Man I must stink at this, he assigns me so much extra work._

Just then, that creepy boy from the train, Severus, showed up. I had seen him staring at Lily several times in the last few weeks, and every time it made my skin crawl. "Lily, will you please talk to me!" he begged her. He was standing right behind her.

"No! I've heard enough of what you have to say. Go away!" Lily said in a terse voice, without turning around.

"Lily, I said I was sorry, please..." he grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me!" Lily yelled, trying to get up. Severus shoved her back onto her seat. Eva got up, but he pushed her onto the floor.

"That's it! You're not going to push my friends around!" I yelled at him, standing up. I stood on the bench, drawing my wand from my back pocket. "Let go of her!" I was still yelling, but now I was standing on the table, walking across it, and then standing in the seat that Eva had been in. "She doesn't want you around!" Severus released his hold on Lily, and she fell off the bench, and was on the floor next to Eva, helping her stand up.

"What do you want?" Severus yelled at me.

"I want you to leave my friend alone."

"I've been friends with her longer!" he spat back at me.

"Well, if that is how you treat your friends, then you have a lot to learn," I laughed back at him.

"What would you know about anything little girl?"

"At least I know how to wash my hair you greasy git!" He was getting on my nerves, _I am not a little girl!_

"You can't talk to me that way."

"I think I just did you prat," I laughed back at him.

Then, there was something in his eyes, something dark and scary, and unnatural. I'm not sure why I did it, but I figured I needed to protect myself. All of my extra charms work had been on silent spell casting. I held my wand and thought _Protego._ A second before Severus yelled something. I tensed, waiting for the curse to hit me, but instead, he fell backwards onto the floor. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick were at our sides at once.

We all explained what had happened, and Severus was taken to see his head of house for punishment. When all the excitement had died down, Professor Flitwick came over and pulled me aside.

"Did you just use those skills that we have been working on?" he asked me.

"Yes, I don't know, it just felt like it was the right time. Did I do it right?"

"Yes, yes you did it right. Good job. Twenty points to Gryffindor. Keep up your hard work," he told me, smiling. There was a spring to his step as he walked away.

We all decided to walk back to our rooms, we weren't going to get anything else done, and people kept coming up to us. When we reached the fifth year dorm room, Lily pulled me into her room, not letting me go up to the next floor to my room, Eva pushing me in.

"Anwen, did you cast a silent protection spell?" she asked me, making sure that there was no one else around.

"Um, yeah. That's what all of my extra homework has been in: silent spells. I figured that I must be significantly far behind, having never done magic until last year. I guess it's to be expected..."

"Anwen, silent spell casting isn't done until sixth year. The only one I know in my year that can do it is James, and that's only because his Dad taught him about it last summer," she explained. _Really, this is sixth year stuff?_

"Really?" I asked, somewhat in shock.

"Oh yeah! How did you know? What spell did you cast?" Lily sounded impressed, I was just confused.

"There was something in his eyes. It was scary! I cast a Protego spell, just to be safe," I sort of mumbled at her.

"Well, it worked. Congratulations and thanks, you're awesome! I don't think Severus will bother me again anytime soon!" we sat down on her bed and talked a little more. Eva excused herself, as curfew was nearly upon us. Lily and I talked about James and how she thought that maybe he wasn't so bad, especially since she had kissed him on the train to school in the fall. I told her she should give him a chance. It was good to see her so happy. Just before midnight I told Lily that I would take the early morning shift with Remus so she could study before her classes. She hugged me and thanked me again. It was enjoyable to have a girlfriend.

Three days later, I got the letter that I was hoping for. My summer plans were set, and for the first time, I was really excited. I would be going to London, and I would be going to my old school again. However, I had was in charge of what I was taking this year, and I was very excited and I was going to be allowed to live in the dorms, on my own this year. This was going to be a great summer, now all I had to do was wait for the right time to share my news.

We won the Quidditch cup, having beat Ravenclaw resoundingly. We lost the house cup however, to Hufflepuff, by only sixty points. Because of the stupid way Severus had tried to curse me in the Great Hall, Slytherin had the lowest total – by over three hundred points. We all enjoyed their loss almost as much as if we'd won. Exams were done and two days later, and I was headed to back to London. It was time to tell Sirius about my summer plans.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

**Home **

**Anwen POV:**

I was walking on the train, up and down, between the cars. Sirius and Helen _what the heck is her last name anyway_ were in the compartment with James and Lily. _James and Lily talking quietly to each other, Sirius and Helen snogging away, I feel like a fifth wheel. _ I really didn't need to be a part of that, and I knew that we had several hours until we were going to be in London, a walk was definitely called for. I spent some time with Corinne and Katie and a few other girls from my year. We shared in some sweets, and talked about boys and what they would do this summer. Everyone else was planning trips to the beach, or to outdoor festivals, special things they would do on holiday. I hadn't told them that I would be alone in London, well I would be in the dorm, but I was really going to be alone. _Sometimes I feel so old, even when I'm with people the same age. _ _I'm excited though,_ _I'm in charge of my summer for the first time._ The conversation got very silly though, and I had enough. When they started throwing things, I decided it was time to leave.

I saw Peter a few minutes later, but when I called him, he acted like he hadn't heard me, and kept walking away from me. _ That's strange, he's headed toward the end of train._ While Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would mingle and share compartments, the Slytherins had the end of the train. _What would he need down there? Oh well._ I continued walking, when I came to a compartment that was empty, except for a single occupant, and it was one that I would love to spend some time with. I opened the door, and was greeted by soft brown eyes and a warm smile.

"Would you like some company?" I asked.

"That would be lovely. It would be pleasant to spend some time with you when I was awake enough to enjoy it," Remus Lupin replied. I saw him a lot, but most of the time, he was sleeping off his "monthly episode". We had come up with some stupid euphemisms for his monthly change, due to his being a werewolf; some of them made him sound like he had horrible PMS, that idea made me chuckle.

"So, I assume you left our friends for the same reason that I did," I casually said.

"Yes, I was getting a little stuffy in there."

"Honestly, if I had to watch Sirius try to scrape the back of Helen's throat with his tongue again, I was going to be ill. How was she not gagging?" I made a disgusted face at Remus and he laughed.

"So, are you going back to Wales this summer?" he asked me.

"Uh, no, I'm going to stay in London," I told him, very excited that I would get to share my secret. "Remus, can I tell you something, and have you promise to keep it a secret?"

"Of course. You can tell me anything, with the secrets that you hold for me, you must know that I will do the same for you," he told me, clearly seeing my excitement.

"Certainly, I'm sorry for how that came out. I just haven't told anyone yet, even Sirius, and I'm really excited. He just hasn't had the time to talk with me, in private," I sighed, and looked away. It was always like this when he had a new girlfriend. In a few weeks when, he had broken up with her, it would be back to normal-until the next girlfriend came along. "Anyway, I am very excited, and I'm glad that I can share it with someone who will be excited with me," I shared. _Sirius will probably find fifteen reasons that it's not safe for me to be alone in London, maybe it would be good if I had an ally when I told him._

"Then Anwen, please tell me your plans for the summer."

"Okay. The first thing that you need to know, is that I have studied at the English National Opera School since I was four," he looked generally surprised at this, he hadn't heard me sing, and clearly, Sirius hadn't spilled the beans. "Yeah, yeah, impressive. Whatever. I am really over the whole thing," I said, waving my hand as if I was shooing away flies, "but that is beside the point. I go back, and do the summer school session. It allows me to sing in the annual summer and holiday concert series, which in turn pays my tuition and now, my room and board. That really doesn't have me excited, it is just something that I have to do. What I'm thrilled about, is that I will also be dancing with the ballet this summer, and I have a teaching position with younger students. I will be assisting with beginning ballerinas at the school, I get to take another Shakespeare class, as well as stage combat this summer. We are even going to have a chance to work with people from the Royal Shakespeare Company. I will live in the dorms, but really they are like small flats, with private bathrooms and small kitchens. I am just so excited!" I stopped to take a breath and was nearly bouncing off the seat. Remus seemed a little overwhelmed at my enthusiasm. I tried very hard to calm myself down, but I had been dying to tell someone for several days, but there just didn't seem to be the right time.

"Anwen, that's amazing. I am so proud of you," he said, giving me a little hug. His smile was genuine and warm, and I honestly believed him. "Are you sure that you are going to be okay though? London can be a rough city, and you will be by yourself so much. You are still quite young," he sounded like my Da. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

"Honestly, I will be fine. There are matrons on each of the floors, and there are older students there as well. Furthermore, I know enough not to venture out into the city alone, remember I've been living in London since I was four. Additionally, the Walkers, the family that I lived with last summer, have told me that I can call them for anything. Also, I can get in touch with Lily if I need to. Professor Dumbledore has already told me that he plans to keep an eye o me anyway. I have many, many people who can help me. I am happy. I appreciate your concern, but can't you be happy for me too?"

"Of course I'm happy for you. It is obviously making you excited to do this, so I will share in your enthusiasm."

"Thank you," I beamed back at him. We fell into an easy conversation about school, and how we each did on exams. We talked a little about the incident with Severus, and Remus wanted to know about my silent spell work, he seemed impressed. I don't think either of us realized just how much time had passed, because we both felt the train begin to slow.

"I think we must be close. How will you be getting to your dorm? Do you need an escort? I am sure that my father would be happy to help you when he comes to get me?" Remus asked.

"No, but thank you anyhow. Mr. Walker was kind enough to come and meet me at the station. I will stay at their house for the weekend, and then I will head to the dorm on Monday. What I would like to do before we disembark, is get a chance to tell Sirius. I wonder if he is done trying to touch Helen's tonsils with his tongue?"

"Well, shall we go find out?" I nodded yes. "After you, pretty lady."

"Why thank you kind sir," we exited the compartment, and headed back down the train. When we reached the "love nest" we were thankful to see that my best friend had untangled himself, and that Helen was gone.

"Where have you two been? Hum?" James queried, raising an eyebrow.

"Neither one of us wanted to be here to watch the thrashing. It was a little like watching eels twine themselves together," I made a disgusted face, and Sirius made one back.

"Well, I hope that he behaved as a gentleman. I would hate have to remind one friend how he should treat another?" Sirius asked, half joking; I didn't find it so.

"At least he remembered that I was here," I said, rather coldly. Suddenly the room felt tight and small.

"Um, yeah." Sirius replied, and turned to look out the window. _ Great, now you've done it. He's going to sulk and you haven't even told him about the summer. Why are you so upset about his girlfriends?_

I sat down next to him, turning away from everyone else, they were suddenly engrossed in their own conversation. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I said: "Sirius, I'm sorry. You know me, sometimes things just slip out, without my thinking about them. It's dumb of me, but you did once call it endearing. Please forgive me," I begged him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Sirius, come on. Sirius, look at me, or I am going to have to tickle you now. Come on, you can't stay mad at me, and you know it," he was still turned away, looking out the window.

The train came to a stop, Sirius got up, grabbed his things, and walked to the door. "James, I'll meet you on the platform. I want to say goodbye to Helen. Have a good hols everyone," and with that, he was gone. I never got to tell him about my summer plans, about how excited I was about what would be happening with me: about how proud I was, or how I wanted him to come and visit, to see me dance and sing on stage. I sat there in shock. Lily came over and sat next to me. I just stared at her, it had all happened so fast.

"He'll come around quickly. I'm sure he didn't realize that he'd been ignoring you," Lily said. "So tell me about this summer," I felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of me. I didn't want to look at anyone, so I stared at the floor.

"I am staying in the dorms for the first time, and I'm teaching ballet," it was all that I could get out. "I should get going, Mr. Walker will be looking for me. I have your number Lily, I'll call you, and we can get together. James, Remus, enjoy your holiday," I said quietly.

"I'll talk with him Anwen, it'll be okay," James said. I nodded at him, with that, I grabbed my bag and headed off the train.

**Sirius POV:**

_I can't believe that she just said that. Was she implying that I had treated her badly? I had never treated her with anything but respect, reverence really. Didn't she know how special she is to me? Maybe it was just a joke, but it really hurt when she said it. What is up with her and Remus anyway? They seem to spend too much time together. Stop it Sirius, she's just being herself. She is kind and sweet and she has accepted him, without any questions, and he needs that. I just wish that she knew how much she had hurt me. Was I really ignoring her?_

I was on the platform, and before I knew it, Helen was again wrapped around me. I kissed her, but I kept my eyes open and looked over her head. I was looking for that ponytail of brown hair as it lilted along, but before I knew it, Helen had grabbed my hand and was dragging me off to meet her parents. _Great, that is something that I don't want to do. I mean, she's nice and all, but the summer is starting and fall is a long time away. I really don't want her to think that...bloody hell, well too late now. _I met her mum and dad, and we stood there talking for a while, Helen continuing to hold my hand. I didn't want to stop scanning the crowd for Anwen, or at least Lily, but now I was engaged in conversation with these people, and I couldn't be rude. After a few minutes James and Mr. Potter were there, with all of our things already on a trolley. We headed out into the Muggle station, I was still watching the crowds, but I couldn't find them anywhere. When we reached the outdoors, I caught one final glimpse, Lily was hugging her goodbye, and she was getting into the back of a Muggle car. She gave Lily one final, small smile, and then the door was closed and the car took off. _Me and my stupid pride, what had I done?_

It took me weeks to finally get up the nerve to go and find her. I had her address from Lily, as well as a phone number, but I wasn't sure how a phone worked, so I couldn't use it. Lily had helped me pick out the best outfit for a trip into Muggle London. Blending in would clearly be important, since if I got into trouble, I couldn't use magic, at least not yet, I had a few more months until I was of age. With the money that I had gotten from my Uncle, I had rented a flat just off Diagon Alley. Mr. Potter helped me find it and complete all the paperwork. Mrs. Potter didn't understand why I wouldn't just spend the time with them, I had my own room at their house anyway, but this was something that I wanted. It was my home. The house I grew up in held nothing for me. I went back once, to claim a few things that were still in my room, but my parents and brother thankfully avoided me. I did a little magic while I was in my room as well, magic that would make it hard for them to ever clean MY room to their liking. I smiled as I walked, at the thought of their frustration and rage when they discovered it.

I took the London transport towards Anwen's school. Lily had been to visit her, and she told me how to get from the transport station to the dorm. I was hoping once I was there, that I would be able to locate her with ease. As I walked, it became obvious that I was nearing the place. There were girls, many girls, who walked with the same grace that Anwen had, although none of them seemed to float the way she did. I could hear other voices, music, wafting from the nearby buildings, but none of them sounded quite as sweet as hers. I found the dorm, and walked in. I checked the room number, and climbed the three floors to the one where her room was. _Why am I nervous. This is my best friend, just because I acted like an ass doesn't mean that she won't be glad to see me._ I reached her door. I knocked. I heard nothing. I knocked again. Still nothing. _Crap._

"Are you looking for Anwen?" a girl, older than Anwen, popped her head out of the next door.

"Yeah. Is she here?" I asked her.

"Nah, she got some private time in one of the dance rooms, she has a solo to work on. She'll be there until 4:00. You can find her there. Do you know where the dance studios are?"

"No," _great I need to find another building. A dance solo, I didn't even know she was dancing this summer._

"It's not hard, let me give you the directions," she stepped out of her room, and started explaining how to get there. She touched my arm and batted her eyes at me. _ Predictable, another girl flirting with me. _ I just ignored her.

"Thanks for the directions. It was really helpful, but I need to go find Anwen," with that, I turned and started walking away. I think I heard her sigh as I left, I rolled my eyes as I turned my back and walked away.

I found the dance building without any trouble, and looked at the sign in book to see which room she was in. _I can't believe how excited I am. She was here. I was stupid on the train and it had been weeks since I saw her, laughed with her._ I raced up the stairs and turned the corner. It was her room, and she was in there. I looked through the glass door, and I couldn't believe what I saw. I froze in my tracks, with my hand on the doorknob, and just stood and watched.

Anwen was in the room, wearing those awful toe shoes. _I hope her feet look better than they did last summer._ He legs were bare, and she wore something that was black and looked like a second skin on her. It covered her much like a swimming costume would. _ I never realized just how thin she was._ I could see her ribs sticking out in her torso when she lifted her arms up. She wore a short, thin skirt of a floral material, that just seemed to sail around her as she moved. Her hair was piled high on her head, her neck seemed so long this way.

There was a record player in the room, and it was playing some beautiful piano music. It was moving, the way that it would swell and rise. Each time the notes would rise up, Anwen would get up on her toes and dance, and when they would fall again, she would come to rest on her whole foot. Suddenly, the music seem to move faster, it reminded me of a leaf dancing on the wind, and Anwen moved the same way. She twirled and leapt and spun in time with the music. She seemed so much taller and longer, her arms stretched so, and her head was held high. I could feel the emotion flow from her fingers and her toes, and her sweet face had such a look of determination. As the music seemed to reach a peak, her movements became quicker and more frantic – and then she stopped.

"Bloody hell!" she screamed, her back was turned to me, so I was sure that she hadn't seen me. "I'm never going to get this right!" she was jumping up and down with frustration. She walked over to the record player and started the song again. The piano piece played, and again, Anwen moved with it. There was such concentration in her face, and this time, I held my breath and watched as the piece swelled, and then began to come down. The tension drained from her face, and a look of peace took up home instead. When the final chords played, she fell to the floor, laying on her back breathing heavily. Her head was towards the door, but she was splayed out away from me. My hand was still on the handle, and I just stood there looking at her. _Wow, that's my Winnie._ Then my hand slipped from the doorknob, and it hit the glass. The sound seemed to break both of us out of our respective stupors, and she turned to see me.

I opened the door, and saw 100 emotions cross her face in just seconds. Anger, fear, resentment, concern, confusion, pain and finally, happiness and then joy. I opened the door and stepped in. She had turned her body so she was lying on her stomach looking at me, still breathing heavily.

"Anwen, that was ..." I said, but before I could get any more out, she had gotten to her feet and half running, half sprinting was throwing herself at me. I had the presence of mind to open my arms, but I wasn't really ready for the force with which she tossed herself at me, and I ended up pressed up against the door, the inner doorknob hitting me in the back.

"Sirius, I am so sorry. I never should have said that on the train; then when you left like that, I thought I had ruined everything. I am so sorry, please say something," she said, squeezing me tightly.

"Ouch. There is a doorknob in my back!" she jumped off me, and pulled me away from the door.

"Okay. Not what I was expecting," she said laughing; I had to laugh with her.

"Oh, yeah. Anwen, it's okay, I forgave you at the train station. I was just in a mood, and then I had to meet Helen's parents, and by the time I found you to tell you I was sorry for being a git, you were in a car and headed away. I never should have made you feel uncomfortable, it was stupid," I told her.

"Oh, thank you," she smiled at me, and drew me into the room. At the far side, there was a small couch and she pushed me down into, and she dropped down next to me, and grabbed the cup from the windowsill behind it, and took a long drink. Suddenly her face became serious. "Sirius, how did you find me?"

"Lily gave me directions. I found your dorm and then the girl in the room next door told me how to find you here. Anwen, that was amazing. You dance like nothing I have ever seen. You sing, you dance, you do silent spell casting, you talk with Mermaids. Is there anything you can't do?"

"Milk a cow," she told me, with absolutely no sarcasm at all.

"What? Did you just say 'milk a cow'?"

"Yes, I can't milk cows. Never got the hang of it, awful for someone whose parents own a dairy farm, but I can't milk a cow. Keep getting kicked by the cows," she said.

"Okay," I was a little shaken by her answer. It seemed a tad random, I did however ask. "So, what is that music? It was amazing."

"It's the Rachmaninoff Prelude in C# minor. I am dancing it as my solo in the performance in a few weeks, and the choreography is killing me in one place. Speaking of which, I need to practice some more, and I only have the room for ..." she looked at the clock on the wall "...another twenty minutes. Do you want to stay here and watch. I don't get a rehearsal room for another week, and I really need to make sure that this is down. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's amazing to watch you. Dance, please. I'll be quiet," she got up, ruffled my hair, and went back to dance. _She is the only one who can get away with that._ She danced through the whole piece four more times. Each time, I was increasingly amazed with how precise she was. Every time was exactly the same. Her feet hit the same place on the floor, her arms were held in the same positions and her hands made the same glorious movements. The last time through, I just watched the placement of her hands. I knew that they were small, from when I had held her hand; but as she danced, they seemed so much bigger, her fingers seemed longer. The way she contorted them, it was wonderful. After the final time through, she came over, drank down the rest of her water and sat down on the couch next to me. She was covered in sweat – _she didn't even sweat like this when we play Quidditch. _

"Okay, I'm done now. How much time do you have? Can I show you around? When do you have to get back to the Potter's, because I need to get to the market before it closes and then I could make you dinner and show you some other things. I have missed you so much..." I put my hand on her back, and she turned to look at me.

"Anwen, I don't have to get back to the Potter's, I have my own flat now, I live off of Diagon Alley. I took the transport here. No one is waiting for me, or expecting me," I told her.

"What? When?" She was utterly confused. I started telling in her the whole thing as she took of her ballet shoes. _Damn it. Her feet look almost as bad as they did last summer. I can't even fix them for her, still can't do magic outside of school._ She slipped on some old trainers and threw her shoes and cup in her bag, and then went to retrieve the record. We started out of the building, and she grabbed my hand and we walked out into the bright sunshine.

When we got back to her dorm, she let me into her room. It wasn't very large, however, it was clean. There was a small bed, made very neatly, with a well used quilt on it. A small closet was cut into the far wall, and next to it, there was a door, open enough for me to see that it was the loo. There was one window, and under it sat a small table with 2 chairs. A very small, ancient looking ice box was next to the window, and next to that a small 2 burner stove. A little sink and a few cabinets made up the rest of kitchen area. _The word kitchen is a loose interpretation of that space, it's so small. _There was also a small love seat, pushed against the wall opposite of the window. A bright blue record player sat on the floor, with a box of records next to it.

Anwen entered, put her record in the box and threw her keys onto the dresser near her bed. Her bag she threw onto the bed, but fished the cup out and put it in the sink.

"Make yourself comfortable; well, as comfortable as you can. I need to shower, and put on some real clothes. There is stuff to drink in the fridge, help yourself. I'll be right out," her voice bubbled as she walked.

My eyes again scanned the room. There were pictures of Lily and Eva and another with the Marauders. We were all in our uniforms, without the robes. I remember the day that she took these, we were out on the lawn and she used Eva's camera, so that she could keep us with her this summer. She had frozen them so they didn't move like Wizarding pictures. These sat on the dresser as well. Above her bed was a small cross that made from wrought iron, it was simple, and yet very beautiful. Her closet was filled with bright clothes, soft and light. _Very different from our uniforms. They suit her, the look like they would flow as she walks. _ I went the fridge, yes there was stuff to drink in it, not much though. _There isn't much in here at all. Does she eat?_ I closed the door and kept on walking. On the back of the couch was a colorful afghan, and the floor near the couch had a stack of books. I glanced at the titles:The Tempest, Hamlet, Much Ado About Nothing, _clearly, taking another Shakespeare class this summer. _A French/English Dictionary, Theories of Classical Dance and a Bible completed the pile. _Didn't expect that last one, the binding is well broken, she must read it._

I looked at the records in the box: Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, _okay, classical music, that makes sense. _The Beatles and Pink Floyd, _didn't expect those, however. Must be Muggle music. Wonder what it sounds like. I think I have heard the Beatles before, someone said one of them is from a Wizarding family?_

I could hear Anwen singing in the shower, her voice was as lovely as ever, but she sounded so much older. _What is that she is singing?_ I sat down on her bed, and kept looking around. I heard the shower stop, as well as her singing. I looked down, and was surprised to find a very short stool next to her bed, it was nearly covered up by her bedding. There were three things on it, and they made me smile. Her wand was there, as was her charm bracelet, and a small picture of us, in our Quidditch uniforms, smiling and waving, Anwen riding on my back. That's when she stepped out of the bathroom.

She was wearing a white sun dress, with small pink flowers on it. Her hair, it was down, and still damp, hanging half way down her back. _How did I not know that it was so long?_ She walked over to me, shook her head so that I got wet from the droplets that hung to the ends of her hair.

"Thanks so much," I said, trying to wipe myself off, then looked down. "Hey, your feet look better," when I looked up at her, she was holding her wand.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone. Madame Pomfrey gave me a potion to put on them to heal them. I let it go about as long as I can stand it, and then I have to make them better. Don't tell on me, okay," she asked, I laughed. She stuck her wand in a pocket in her dress, and then grabbed her bracelet and put it on.

"I wasn't sure that you were still wearing it," I said pointing at her bracelet. She was struggling with the clasp, so I helped her put it on.

"Oh yeah, I just can't dance in it, it rattles around and breaks my concentration, but it's the only time that I take it off. Let me just grab a few things and we can be off," she pulled her toe shoes out of her bag and threw them in the closet, and then grabbed the pink sweater that Lily had given her for her twelfth birthday and threw it in. Finally, she reached into the top drawer of her dresser and took out a small wad of what I thought was Muggle money. She slipped on some small pink trainers, in better condition than the ones that she had walked over in, and held out her hand to me.

"Ready to see how I spend my summer?" I took her hand and got up. Her smile was infectious, it was the first time all summer that I felt at ease.

"Of course. I really did miss you, Winnie," she rolled her eyes at me, grabbed her keys, and we were off.

We walked through the streets, and she pointed out the buildings where she had classes. She waved to friends and some of the girls seemed surprised to see her with, _what was it, was it me?_ She bounced and talked and it felt like we had just stepped off the train, instead of being apart for weeks. We went to the market, and she did some shopping. I watched as she would calculate how much everything cost, keeping close track of how much she spent. _I knew money was tight, but is it really this tight for her? I feel bad, money is never something that I need to worry about, and here she was, counting every last cent. She isn't going to make me dinner, I'm going to take her out._ We walked back to her room, and I helped her put away her things. Before she could start making our meal, I grabbed her and picked her up so she was looking at me in the face.

"You are not going to cook, I'm going to take you out; it's the least that I can do, since I was such an awful friend at the end of the school year. I won't take no for an answer. What kind of gentleman would I be? You may either walk on your own, or you know that I'll just carry you out of here. Which shall it be?"

"Um, let me walk, please?" she replied meekly. I set her back down and took her hand.

"Fine, then lets be on our way," I was pulling her toward the door, grabbing her keys from where she had thrown them when we walked in.

"Wait. Do you even have any Muggle pounds. Galleons and knuts will not work out here," she said, stopping our forward motion.

"Anwen, I knew I was going into London today. I changed money over, I have more than enough, let's go," I told her as we left. We ate dinner at a small cafe not far from her dorm, staying late into the night, laughing and carrying on. By the time we left, she was exhausted. It was only a few blocks left to her dorm, but I could tell that she was tired. She took her sweater out of her bag and put it on, it was getting cool, the sun had set.

"Climb on, I'll carry you," I said to her, bending down to let her get into her favorite position on my back.

"You are the best friend that any girl could have. Bless you Sirius. I really do love you."

**Anwen POV:**

_Well, crap. What did I just say? Maybe he didn't hear me. It's not like I meant it that way, but, of all the stupid things to say. I mean, I do love him, just not like that. Can I go a day without sticking my foot into it around him? ARGGHH! Okay, we are moving. Maybe he didn't hear me. Say something, anything else._

"So what are your plans for the rest of the summer?" I asked, trying very hard to change the subject.

"Um, nothing really. Waiting to find out which OWL's I passed, that's it," he paused, _he's going to take off again, after what I just said._ "I figured that I would just spend the rest of it carrying you where you need to go," he turned and said to me, with that wonderful crooked smile on his face.

"Well, I won't complain. Home then, I need my rest!" I added in dramatic fashion. We made it back to my room. The girls in my dorm were all looking at me oddly, as I came riding in on Sirius' back, and we slipped into my room. _Well, that was well worth the looks of envy. Shouldn't use him that way, but it was great to get back at them for all the rude things that they have said about my having no friends. Ha! That will show them, I have the best friend in the world. Damned cute too._

We sat in my room for the rest of the night, listening to Muggle records on my player. Sirius was quite intrigued with one band in particular, it wasn't until close to midnight that we realized just how late it was, and that the Transport had stopped running hours ago. We were still on the couch, Sirius stretched out with his feet propped up on a kitchen chair, with the long afghan on him, and my pillow behind his head. Me laying along the couch, my head in his lap, the old quilt wrapped around me. Our shoes were off, and I had changed into some shorts and a tee shirt. It was comfortable and just felt right. We would fall asleep this way, much like we had done in the common room so many times. I was nearly asleep when I heard him, "Winnie, I really do love you, too, don't ever forget that. Good night," he said and I snuggled closer to him.

The rest of the summer was spent this way. Weeknights we would be at my dorm, weekends were at his flat. When my summer term ended, I didn't go to the Walker's or Lily's house – I just stayed at Sirius', until September 1, when we got to platform nine and three-quarters together, and went back to school, together.

**Lily's POV:**

_Well, that is really interesting. Anwen and Sirius have always been close, but now, wow. Did he just finish her sentence? How much time did they spend together this summer? He seems to know everything that she is thinking. On the train, she was rubbing her arms like she was chilled, and he reached into his bag to get her sweater? Are they dating? He's nearly of age, and she is only thirteen – this could be bad, really bad. I mean, I guess it would be bad; but she's more mature than him, and she isn't irritating like most of his girlfriends. Maybe it's not so bad? I don't even know what I'm thinking. That's it, I need to talk with her alone. A walk clearly seems in order._

We were in the Great Hall, finishing up the start of term feast. Pudding was on the table, and when it had appeared, Anwen and Sirius both looked at the Butter Tarts and began laughing. No words, just a look, and then laughter. Her head was resting on his shoulder when they finished, as she was drinking her tea. Helen, _oh what's her last name, anyway_, was at the Hufflepuff table was looking at the two of them, throwing daggers with her eyes. _Clearly, he's done dating her._ _I need to know what is going on. _

"Anwen, I haven't seen you all summer. Let's go take a walk," I started getting up and turned to James, "keep out of trouble while I am gone, please," I emphasized the last word, hoping that he would do as I asked. Anwen and I left the castle and headed out into the grounds. "You start Care of Magical Creatures this year, should I show you where you need to meet in the forest for it?"

"Sure. Lily what's on your mind. You're a little cryptic here," Anwen asked me as we were walking.

"Um, what's up with you and Sirius? Things seemed to have changed between the two of you. I mean you have always had a close relationship, but now, it's, well, closer. Are you two dating?" I asked her.

"NO!" she yelled at me, stopping abruptly. "He is still my best friend, that's it. Why is everyone so surprised that my best friend is a guy?" She sounded exasperated at this point. "My parents wanted to know what his intentions were when we visited them in Wales. That was a three days that I wish I could get back, it was awful. Sirius was afraid to say anything, and my parents would talk with him, and he couldn't understand them because of their accents, so I had to translate. It was horrible! I was never so happy to get back to London in all of my life. Wales is not home anymore, London is. My Ma is pregnant again, my family doesn't even look like my family anymore! UGH! Then Remus asked me the same thing on the train, concerned about what had transpired this summer between us. All of you, stop treating me like I am a child," she raked her fingers through her hair, which was down today, and turned to face me. "Sirius is MY real family, neither of us seem to belong in the ones that we were born to, so we found each other. I would be lost without him, that's it. I am not dating him, I don't want to date him," she said adamantly.

The look on her face was so honest. I still didn't understand it, but I would accept. We kept walking for a while, I showed her the place in the forest where class would be, and then we walked more. We talked about what James and I had done over the summer. I finally relented, and agreed to let James take me out on a date. It didn't go so well when he came to pick me up and meet my parents and my sister.

"Wait, so you are finally dating James? About bloody well time," she said, smiling at me wickedly.

"I could only resist him for so long. Anyway, he came to pick me up and my Dad was not thrilled. Of course my Dad would lock me in a convent if he could. Mum however, loved James. He is rather charming," I blushed, and Anwen giggled. We locked arms and continued to walk until we saw the sun setting, and knew that it was time to get back. She told me about spending time with Sirius in London, how she would go to class, and things would mysteriously appear in her dorm room: food, clothes, books, records.

"I think he was trying to be sly about the shopping that he would do while I was in class, he never brought much over at any time, but it was comical. I wish he wouldn't spend so much on me, he may need his money someday," she said quietly.

"He is just trying to take care of you," I replied. We all knew that Anwen didn't have much, it was good to know that Sirius was trying to make sure that she didn't suffer. "What's the craziest thing that you did?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I don't know how crazy it is, but I introduced Sirius to the fun of Flea Markets and Boot Sales. He was hooked. I do much of my shopping at them, if you're willing to get things that people have used before, you can find almost anything that you need, and it's cheap. I thought I could haggle, but all he had to do is flash that smile of his, and people would just give him stuff. It was a blast; most of the stuff from my dorm I got that way. We even bought furniture for his flat there. He's also obsessed with Muggle music, he kept buying records, but then was upset when we couldn't play them at his flat, because my record player wouldn't work. No electricity," she giggled. _Her eyes light up when she talks about him. I really think that they're made for each other, they just don't know it yet._

We were laughing hard when we got back to the common room, Sirius apparently knew little about the Muggle world, and Anwen had to teach him about things like telephones and street lights. The stories she told were hilarious, and we were laughing at his expense, but it was too good to pass up. When we climbed through the portrait hole, James lifted me off my feet and kissed me.

"I missed you. Did you have a good talk?" His lips were only inches from mine, his arms still around me. _Oh, I think I love this man._

"We did, all is well," and with that my lips crashed into his, we fell into the couch, our lips never parting. I could hear Anwen laughing in the background, as Sirius yelled, "Get a room," his big laugh filling the room.

**Sirius POV:**

"Come on over here. Don't want to be too close to that," I took her by the hand and led her over to the couch by the fireplace. "Let me guess, you got the 'are we dating' conversation, again," I asked her.

"Why yes. Did you get the same one?"

"Yes, from Moony. He said he had asked you on the train, but wanted to compare answers. Prongs seemed confused. For a smart boy, he can be a little dense," I mused.

"He's a total guy. I told Lily the truth, that we are not dating, but that we are close. Nothing else to tell," she smiled at me. When she said that, I felt a little pang inside. Like there was something that wasn't right about saying there wasn't anything else between us.

We sat there for a while, talking about classes. I had done well, I would be going on to NEWT level in everything except Care of Magical Creatures and Magical History. _No one would take that class longer than they had to, Professor Binns, the ghost professor, had to be the most boring teacher in the whole world. _Anwen was going to be taking fourth year Charms and Transfiguration this year. Apparently, she was so far advanced in these skills, that skipping a year made sense. She was a little nervous about it, but I knew that she would be fine. The room was emptying out, but we were still there, on the couch. We had spent every day together for the last month, only separated when Anwen went to class. This was going to be hard tonight, not sharing the same space as we slept.

"I guess I should go upstairs and get to bed. I have to meet with Professor McGonagall in the morning, she has some new extra work she wants me to start on. It'll be weird, sleeping without you nearby," Anwen said, her small body still wrapped up next to me.

"We could stay here. It wouldn't be the first time," I told her, looking into the fire.

"No. You really are too tall for this now. I'll be okay. Sleep well," she said as she started to get up, and I kissed her head. "Meet me for breakfast, and then we can go to the Lake?"

"Of course, Winnie, sleep well little one," she got up, and walked to the end of the stairs to the girls dorms, she turned back and looked at me, one last time for the night. _I'm really going to miss her tonight._

**Anwen POV:**

I thought that I was ready for the new school year, but it was so much harder than I was expecting. I had my regular third year classes, as well as fourth year Charms and Transfiguration; Quidditch practice and then my private lessons with Professor McGonagall. These lessons were fun, and the magic she was teaching me was awesome, but hard. I couldn't wait to surprise everyone with it when I had mastered it. I knew it would be a while. We were fast approaching our first trip into Hogsmeade for the year, and the first time that I would be able to go. My parents had given me permission when I was in Wales – it was the only good thing to come out of the trip, besides rescuing a few of my personal things that were still in the house there. I wouldn't ever live there again, my new home was in London, at the flat that Sirius rented. It seemed strange to know that there was a home somewhere, that I called mine _mine and my best friends_, and yet, we were living here at school. Sirius didn't seem to question that his home would be my home, it was just how it would be. My Ma and my Da seemed happy, and all of my siblings were happy to have both parents at home. I would visit them, but just for short times. I let the melancholy of the memories stay with me for a while, and then, I shook them off to go find James. I needed his help with something very important. He was in his room, alone, working on some spell work. I watched as he silently transfigured the items on his bed, and then returned them to their natural state. _He really is good. _I knocked lightly on the door frame.

"James, can I talk with you for a minute. I need your help with something," he looked up and smiled at me. _Did he ever comb that mess of hair of his?_

"Sure. What do you need Anwen?"

"Well, you know that I am not wizard born, and there are some things that still confuse me. I know that in the Wizarding world, 17 is considered adulthood. I know Muggle traditions for such things, but are there ones for a wizard that I should know?" I asked him.

"Is this because of Sirius' birthday?"

"Yes, look, his family isn't going to do anything for him, they hate him; while I am sure that your Mum and Dad will remember it, but...well...we are sort of family now. We don't have anyone else, but we have each other, and I don't want to screw up anything. I know he won't expect anything, it'll make the surprise even better," I explained.

"You really are very considerate, and you're right, there are things that only family should do," he emphasized the word family, conveying that he understood the relationship that I shared with Sirius.

We talked for quite a while. Apparently, a watch was the traditional gift for a wizard when he came of age. He told me that he would take me shopping while we were at Hogsmeade, Remus and Lily could distract Sirius so we could get away. We also talked a little about a party, he and Remus had already planned to do something the weekend before, but he was glad that he could have my help as well. The more that we talked, we realized that since his birthday was on a Thursday, the better night would be the next day, Friday. I could get him away from the common room, since our Friday night "date" still stood while they set up. Sirius wouldn't think anything of it.

The day of our trip into Hogsmeade I was so excited. It was a little chilly, but I was so happy to not have to put my robes on, that I was giddy as I was getting dressed. I had found a beautiful dark purple velvet skirt at a flea market this summer, and was wearing it. I put a cream colored peasant blouse on and tied a multi colored scarf around my waist. The only jewelry that I usually wore was my charm bracelet and my pearl earnings, but today, I chose to wear longer purple beaded ones. My charm bracelet now had seven charms on it, the three from my twelfth birthday, the snitch from our first Quidditch match, a ballet slipper that Sirius gave me the night of my ballet solo, a tiny Big Ben that we found at a boot sale and he bought to remind me of the first summer in London, and a star with a stone in the middle that looked like a diamond, but I really hoped wasn't, that was part of my thirteenth birthday present. For a change I wore my hair down, I had put it in rag curlers last night, and now I had soft waves falling down my back. I grabbed my little black flats and my dark green cape and I was ready to go. I flew down the stairs, and Sirius greeted me at the bottom.

"You look lovely, too beautiful for your own good. Soon I'll have to beat the boys away from you," he teased me.

"Ha! I've had to deal with silly girls for years, you had better let me have some fun too. Speaking of girls, how many will you be meeting today while we are in town?" I questioned him.

"None. Today, I will be spending the day with my best girl," he kissed the top of my head. He sat down in the big arm chair by the boys stairway, and then pulled me into his lap, to wait for everyone else. Lily was the first to make it downstairs.

"Anwen, I love your clothes. You look just beautiful today. Very grown up," I looked at the floor for a moment. _I don't know what to do when someone says something complimentary to me sometimes_.

"Thanks," I whispered, still looking at the floor. "I like your jumper as well," it was a beautiful shade of lavender, and it made her eyes pop.

Finally, the rest of the boys joined us, and we headed out of the castle, and down the walk. We had made it about halfway, when I jumped up onto Sirius' back, so that he could carry me. Everyone laughed. Hogsmeade was amazing. There were so many shops. The first stop was Honeydukes – and chocolate. I knew exactly how much money I had with me, I had scrimped and saved all summer, buying only what I needed. It was easier once Sirius kept sneaking "things" into my dorm, but I was still not rich. I wanted as much money as possible when I went to buy his birthday present. I wasn't going to buy anything, as much as I loved chocolates, there were things I needed more. However, when I wasn't going to get myself anything, Sirius seemed primed to pay for it. _ That won't do._ I gave in, to get him to stop, and bought myself a very small bag. We went into every store, and I was getting very good at window shopping. When we went into the Quidditch store, my heart stopped. There was so many cool things in here, and I knew that I would be needing a new broom, I was getting too tall for the one that Sirius and James had given me a year and a half ago. I would be fine for a while longer, but it would be something that would become a necessity. _Maybe after Christmas. I will get paid for singing for the holiday concert series, and then I can spend it on a new broom._ I looked at several brooms, and nearly fell over at the price tag. _ Maybe I can make my old one work longer than I planned. I don't get paid that much._

"Are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost?" James was at my side, his hand under my elbow.

"No ghosts, just price tags. I'm fine. Are we ready to slip out?"

"Yeah, Lily and Remus are ready. Let's go shopping. Come on," and with that, he lead me out of the shop, not turning around, and we slipped out into the street.

"We have an hour. Remus will tell Sirius and Lily that I need your help picking something out for Lily, which I do, but Lily doesn't know that. It's a plausible plan. Here is what we need," we walked down two doors to a small jewelry store. James steered me inside. I walked around, finding a good selection of men's watches, but my heart fell when I looked at the prices. There was nothing here that I was going to be able to afford. This was a waste of time. I was going to have to come up with another plan.

"Anwen, can you come here, I really do need your help with something," I walked over to him. "Do you think that Lily would like this?" he held in his hands a beautiful necklace, it was gold, and the chain was so thin making the heart that hung from it seem to just float. The heart was woven from three different color of gold, and in the center, there was a calla lily, made from the three different colors.

"James, it's amazing, Lily would love it. I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"Thanks, see I did need your help. Let me pay for this, and then we can be off. Unless you found something here," he asked.

"Um, no, a little out of my league. There aren't any flea markets in Hogsmeade are there?" I asked hopefully.

"No, there is somewhere else that will be more in your price range," as he said that, I looked at the floor. _I hate that everyone know that I don't have much money._ "I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. The fact that you are doing this, that you care this much for him, that means so much. I didn't intend to make you feel bad, I'm sorry," he apologized.

"It's okay. Pay for that, I'll just look around," I strolled through the store, and looked at different things. There were charm bracelets and charms, I walked past them, I really didn't want to know how much mine may have cost. I stopped in front of some beautiful sapphires. There was one set of earnings that were lovely, they were lighter than the rest, and I just loved the color. I stared at it a while, and then it dawned on me _they're the same color as Sirius eyes._ I sighed. _ Did I just do that? I sound like one of those stupid girls that follows him around. Thank God no one heard me._

"See anything you like?" James was done, and he was behind me.

"Sure, lots of things I like, nothing that I can get, thanks for asking though. All done?"

"Yup, thanks for your help. Let's be going." Again, he placed a gentle hand on my back to steer me out of the store. _ He really is a gentleman. Lily is very lucky. I wonder if I will ever find someone who loves me that way?_ My thirteen year old brain started to day dream. _ What would it be like to kiss a boy? What if someone was in love with me the way that James seems to love Lily. _ I sighed again. _ All right, stop it now. That's just way, way too much girl. _ I shook my head and brought myself back to reality as James lead me into a second hand store, around the corner from the jewelry store. _This is more like it. Might even be able to haggle here._

A kindly woman was behind the counter and when we walked in, she smiled at us with a genuinely warm smile. _ She looks like my grandma Lizzy. _"How can I help you youngsters today?"

"My friend here is looking for a watch, it's for a special friend, for his seventeenth birthday," James spoke up before I had a chance to say anything. "It needs to be something unique, to match the person giving it, but we are also looking for a fair price," _was that his way of saying that I didn't have much to spend? I wish everyone would stop bringing that I up. He's just trying to make this easier for you, stop being so defensive. _I was carrying on an argument, in my head, with myself. _This is stupid Anwen, stop._

"I have several here, come on over sweetheart, take a look," the kind woman said. James and I walked over. There were several beautiful watches in the case, but there was one, a pocket watch, in the back that caught my eye. It was silver, and it seemed to tell more than just time, but I wasn't sure what all the dials meant. On the dark face there were small stars that seemed to swirl around it. The woman seemed to sense that this was the one that I was looking at, for she took it from the case, and brought it out for me to look at. I lifted it in my hands, and it suddenly felt like it was getting warm. I looked up, surprised.

"You must have felt it, the watch carries a spell; when it is given with love and affection, the person who receives it feels warm whenever they touch it. A reminder that they are never alone. I have seen many people pick it up, but none of them ever felt the spell before. This is the one that you are meant to have," spoke with such calm and assurance. It was a little scary to think of an item having that kind of power. I snapped it closed, and looked at the cover. Etched into the front, was a picture of a lake, I gasped.

"Is that the Black Lake, on the Hogwarts grounds?" I asked her, so shocked.

"Yes, how did you know that? Most students don't venture down there?"

"It's one of my favorite places at the whole school. Sirius and I go there often," I explained.

"Well, it's settled, you must buy it," I looked at the tag, I had enough, with some left over. _This must be my lucky day. _I smiled at the woman, and she lifted it from my hands. "Is there anything that you would like inscribed on it?" I thought for a minute, and then it hit me.

"Yes." She handed me a small piece of parchment and a quill and on it I wrote, "Forever, Winnie," she took it, and went into the back room. I turned to face James.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done this without you," I learned up and kissed his cheek. I think that he blushed. I was glad that Lily wasn't here to see it, she might have been angry.

A moment later, the woman came out, showed me the engraving, and then placed the watch in a small red box. I paid her, and then put the box into my small purse.

"You must love him very much, and he must love you the same way, or the spell would have never been felt by you. Come back, when you need to buy his wedding ring, I have several here that I think you would like. They're from the same lot that the watch came from," she said, I turned around and looked at her.

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that. He's my best friend, like my brother really, but nothing more," I was so surprised.

"My child, you may not know it, but there is great love there. When the time is right, it will reveal itself," _what is she saying? I don't love Sirius that way. _I couldn't move for a moment, I was trying to read her face. James must have sensed this, because he again put his hand on my back, to lead me from the store. When we were out on the street, he stopped and turned to me.

"Don't listen to her, she's just an old shop keeper who clearly sees romantic intentions in everything. We're lucky that she didn't think you and I were a couple, it doesn't mean anything. You found the perfect gift, forget the rest. Come on, it's time to meet the others for lunch," he told me, trying to make me feel better.

I tried to take James words to heart, and shake the strange feeling that had come over me; it was a struggle. He kept his hand on my back, and we again made it to the busy main road. We went down a few doors, and came to place called the Three Broomsticks. When we walked inside, it was filled with students from school, but at a table in the back, sat our friends. There were still two open seats, one on either side of Lily. I sat down between Lily and Sirius, and he smiled at me.

"Help James with everything?" he whispered in my ear.

"Yup, it all worked out well," we settled down, and ordered lunch. I really wasn't hungry. They forced me to try some butterbeer, but I really didn't like it. It wasn't like Muggle beer, but it still didn't taste very good to me. I got myself some coffee instead, everyone turned their noses up at it, but I was happy.

The weeks passed quickly until the day of Sirius' birthday, working with James and Remus to get everything ready. Peter was around, but he made me feel odd, he was such a strange boy, like he didn't have a thought of his own. _I don't think that I will ever like him as well as I like either James or Remus. _The day of Sirius' birthday, I met him for breakfast, and gave him a small card. Inside it told him, that we would celebrate tomorrow, and that he was to meet me at the Black Lake at sundown. He smiled at me, and said that he couldn't wait.

The next day, just as the sun was setting, we met at the Black Lake. I had already summoned the mermaids when he arrived, and we were singing our greetings to one another. Then, I introduced Sirius to them; Professor Dumbledore had taken the opportunity that my summoning had afforded him, and had been conversing with them for the last year and a half, and he had become quite fluent in Mermish. Through him, I learned a few words, well two phrases really, enough to introduce them to Sirius. He could barely contain his excitement. They sang to him, without me, for a few moments, and then they turned and dove down again. When they were gone, he scooped me up, and held me tight.

"That was the best gift ever. No one else could have given it to me, thank you my sweet one," he said as he spun me around. When he put me down, I looked at him.

"Well, that is just the beginning; come on, we have a dinner to get to," I climbed on his back, and he carried me back to the castle. He started for the Great Hall, but I told him "Nope, not there. Follow me," I took him by the hand and we walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. We walked quickly through the Common Room, so he wouldn't notice the boxes of supplies for this party, and went up to his room. It was empty, except for a large picnic basket sitting on his bed. I had talked with the house elves, some of whom I had gotten to know very well through our nighttime adventures, into making this special meal for us. It was all of his favorites, including Butter Tarts, which I had begged them to let me make in the kitchen. Against their better judgment, they let a witch into their kitchen to cook. I thanked them greatly. Sirius smiled, we were both remembering the first time that I had tried to make them over the summer, in the little kitchen in my dorm, and how badly it had ended, when the sticky filling and raisins ended up all over the room because I tripped while carrying them to the sofa. These however, were all in one piece, and they tasted good.

"That had to have been the best birthday dinner that I have ever had. How did you do all that?" he said, smiling at me.

"You are not the only one who can be charming. I've learned a few things following you all over this castle for the last two years," I teased him.

"Thanks, I assume that's all, right?" he asked, not sure what could possibly happen next.

"Nope, you know it's said that when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me," I told him with a giggle in my voice and he scowled at me. "However, you have to put something on before you can get the rest. Here," I reached in my pocket and pulled out a bright purple scarf.

"You know, I don't really think that it matches my outfit, sorry," he said as he tossed it back at me.

"It's not for your neck silly, it's for your eyes. The last part is a surprise, turn around, let me tie this on you," I grabbed it, and went to put it on it.

"I'm not so sure about this," he grabbed my hands.

"Trust me, it will be fine," I kissed his head and then I tied the scarf around his eyes. "Can't see anything right? Okay, follow me," I stood him up, and turned him toward the door, and lead him over. When we reached the stairs, I got on the one below him, and put his hands on my shoulders, and told him to just follow me down. When we got to the bottom, I ducked behind him and removed the scarf so that he could see and hear our friends yell "surprise!".

**Sirius POV:**

I couldn't believe the party that they had cooked up. There was food and drink all over the common room, a large chocolate cake that I was sure had been made by Mrs. Potter, and other things that were snuck up here from the kitchens. Music was playing from a phonograph player, but it was Muggle music. _Anwen had brought some of her records back with her, all of my favorite ones. How did she do that without me knowing?_ The room was strung with streamers and balloons and a big sign was on the wall with birthday greetings. Remus had even brought back a bottle of Firewiskey from home that his dad had bought for the occasion. _I would have to remember to repay the favor_. The whole house seemed to be there; well except for Peter. Why was one of my best friends missing from my birthday celebration? Anwen, Lily and Eva were sitting together by the fire, smiling and chatting. _ I can't believe that she did all of this. The mermaids, the dinner and now the party. How did I ever come to deserve her in my life? _

After what seemed like hours of fun, lots of music, and a little too much Firewiskey, most of my house mates had turned in for the night, and I was left with my closest friends, sitting by the fire. Peter had come back at some point, but he didn't look very happy to be here. I knew that his parents were having some problems with their business at home. I'd need to talk with him about it tomorrow.

We had switched over to hot chocolate, probably a good idea,_ little too much experience with drunk men in my life._ A small pile of presents stood unwrapped on the coffee table in front of me, and only one was left. I had opened gifts from the Marauder's and from Lily and Eva, and Anwen had given me so much already today, I didn't know who this could be from. I took the small red box and lifted the lid. I had never seen a pocket watch like it before. On the front was an engraving of the lake, the one that I was at earlier with Anwen. She was sitting next to me, her eyes on the box as well, I still couldn't read anything in her face. I lifted it from the box. _ What is that? It feels warm. It's making me feel warm, even in my chest. Who is this from? _ I turned it over, there was nothing on the back, but it still felt warm to my hands. I released the little latch, and it flew open. The face was lovely. All the intricate hands moved in perfect time, the small stars were floating around the edge. Then I saw the inscription on the inside of the cover: _Forever, Winnie._ _Anwen, Winnie, my Winnie had gotten this for me?_ I looked at her, those big green eyes looking at me so hopeful but also so worried.

"I hope you like it. I know, it's tradition for family to give a man a watch when they come of age," she said, her voice so quiet.

I looked at her, those beautiful eyes staring back at me. _She did this, she cares this much._ My fingers traced the side of her face. "It's perfect, my family did it just right."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

**Nesting and Flight**

**Anwen's POV:**

My Christmas concert series was to start just before the term was to end, so again, I was taking my exams early. At least it wasn't a tour this year. I would only be back in London for two days before Sirius would get there, but you would have thought that I had told him I was going on a world cruise without him. As I was trying to study, he kept quizzing me on things, checking to make sure I knew how to unlock the door (it had a magical lock as well as a conventional one), which tubes on the transit I would need to take, and where to find things in the flat. _He is driving me crazy._ I was almost to the point of asking the headmaster to let him go with me just to get him to shut up.

"Sirius, I lived there over the summer too. I will be fine. I'm leaving tomorrow after the noon meal, you will be in London on Friday night. I will sleep, I will shower, I will eat, I will go to musical rehearsal and I will come home. IF there is a problem, I will call the Walker's. Stop worrying about me. I have to finish studying, NOW," I looked up at him, breathed deeply and glared. I was on the floor of the fifth year boys dorm; Remus was on his bed studying, as was Sirius. It was quieter here than anywhere else that I had been in the tower, and Remus and James had been helping me; but I was willing to leave if Sirius wasn't going to let me get my work done. I went back to studying.

Three minutes later: "What time are you done on Friday. I don't like you coming home on your own at night. I could pick you up at the Concert Hall?" he asked me, more quietly, but I was still going to loose it. The one exam I had left was in the class that I had the hardest time with, Potions.

"No, I'll be fine," I said slowly through my teeth, again looking up from my potions text. "Clara's parents have volunteered to drive me to the Leaky Cauldron. I told them that I will rooming there for the holidays. I can walk home from there. I am done a little after 10:00, so I should be home by 10:30. Sirius, shut up so I can study," I raked my fingers again through my hair and shook my head.

"Sirius, come on, let's go and make some hot chocolate, and bring it back to help Anwen study," Remus said, getting off of his bed.

"Thank you" I mouthed to him as he passed. He and Sirius left the room, and I was finally alone with my potions book. I never did hear them come back, unfortunately, once the room was quiet, I feel asleep. I awoke the next morning, in Sirius' bed, still in my robes, when James accidentally hit me on the head on his way to the loo.

Being in London by myself wasn't too bad. I had been given permission to floo from the Three Broomsticks into the Leaky Cauldron. From there I walked to the flat. I unlocked the door with no trouble and let myself in. It wasn't in too bad of condition for not having anyone here for nearly four months. I threw my small traveling bag onto the couch, and checked around the flat. _It needs a good dusting and scrubbing, but it won't take so long. _I opened the ice box, and was happy to find it empty. _ Definitely need to get to the store and buy some supplies. In addition, I should go back to the bank, check my account, and withdrawal some for shopping._ Most of my luggage would come with Sirius on Friday, he would just shrink it and put it in his pocket with his own, and then apparate home. I couldn't wait until I was of age, but I had years yet. I had a few days worth of clothes, and my music in my bag. Everything else, toothbrush, shampoo, brush, etc. I had left here when we went back to school. I fell back onto the couch, when I was startled by a tapping noise at the window over the kitchen sink. There was an owl there. _ Okay, who is sending me an owl? Who knows I'm here. _I went over and took the letter from the owl, and rubbed the back of his head. He flew away. I looked at the letter, and recognized the script. _ Sirius. _In the envelope there was a letter and a small satchel of Gold. I read the letter.

Winnie-

I realized that there was no food there, and I didn't want you to starve

before I got back. Take this money and go shopping. I'm eating too

when I get home so don't even complain. I miss you already. See you

Friday night.

-Sirius

I rolled my eyes, _oh well, no point in arguing. _ I went to the bathroom and freshened up, and then I left the house again, engaging both of the locks, and I stepped out onto the street. My first stop would be Gringotts. I needed a little money to get Sirius a Christmas present. I had made small purchases all summer when we went to Flea Markets or Boot Sales, and had left everyone else's presents for them at school. To my family, I had sent a large box a week ago by Muggle post. Now, I just needed something special for the one person that I would see on Christmas Day. I withdrew the money that I needed, and started to stroll the street. I didn't really have any ideas of what I would get him, and I had looked nearly everywhere, but still no ideas. I went to the market and picked up enough provisions for a few days. It was all that I could carry, we could go again once Sirius was home. I had a little over an hour until I needed to leave to get to rehearsal on time. I ate a little, grabbed my music and left the flat again.

If I felt safe alone in Wizarding London, the feeling left me when I was out in Muggle London. It wasn't like the cocoon of my old campus, it was loud and crowded. I walked with determination to the transit stop, and positioned myself near the station masters booth and waited for the train. It came quickly, and I felt much safer inside. I would be very happy when I had reached the Concert Hall, and was glad that I had agreed to let Mr. Walker drive me most of the way home.

Rehearsal went without a hitch. We would be starting the three week series on Friday. Nothing ever changed from year to year, so it wasn't like it was hard work. _Boring work, but not hard. _ I sang the same solo that I had sung for years. I went from being the soloist in the junior school to the soloist in the senior school, ensuring that I made several girls who were older than me angry, but it wasn't my choice. Rehearsal was finally over, and I was glad to find Clara and her dad. We made it to the Leaky Cauldron in no time, and shortly thereafter, I was at home in the flat.

I spent the next morning cleaning the place, and then decided to bake some biscuits. _You had to have biscuits for Christmas._ After a bit of lunch, I left early for rehearsal. We had an afternoon rehearsal today, and I was glad that I would be able to go and come back in daylight. I would take the tubes on my own both ways, since it would still be light. As I was walking along the street, I would glance into the stores. I still needed a gift for Sirius. As I passed a children's store, and I saw it in the window. It was really ugly, and pink, but it was perfect, I just hoped that he would excuse the appearance, and appreciate the practicality. I went into the store, paid for the gift, and continued on to rehearsal. I could wrap it and hide it tonight.

Friday seemed to drag on. I checked my watch and yet, it never seemed to move. _I'm so glad that Sirius will be back tonight._ Late afternoon, I finally left for the Concert Hall, my dress was there, and I would change and do my make up while in the dressing room. The concert went off without a hitch, as it should since we had all been singing the same music, together, for years. _It would be delightful if just once, we got to sing something different._ Clara and I met her father at the entrance, and again he dropped me off on the street outside of the tavern. I opened the door and ran through the Leaky Cauldron, eliciting a chuckle from Tom the bartender as I quickly moved from one end to the other. I took off down Diagon Alley, and turned off onto the side street that the flat was on. I unlocked both doors, seeing lights on from the street. Inside, I closed the door and yelled "Honey, I'm home!" I found myself frozen in my tracks.

The flat looked beautiful. In the corner, a small Christmas tree stood, covered in twinkling lights, with snow falling gently on it. There were beautiful silver balls and gold ribbons all over it and the entire room was bathed in the softest light. I gasped at the beauty of it; next too it, stood Sirius, looking very proud of himself.

"I take it you like it?" he asked me.

"It's amazing. How did you do all of this? How is the tree lit, there isn't any electricity here?"

"Magic my dear, plain old magic; welcome home and Happy Christmas. I hope you weren't saving those biscuits for anything by the way, there were really good," he told me, smiling.

"You ate them all?" I said, as I kicked my shoes off and hung up my coat.

"No, about half. You're not angry are you? I made you hot chocolate. They are really good dipped in the cocoa," he said, stuffing another one in his mouth.

"No, I am not mad. How could I be mad when our home looks like this?" I sighed. _Stop it, you sound like such a girl._

**Sirius POV:**

This was the best holiday that I had ever had. Anwen didn't have to be at the Concert Hall until 6:00 most days. If there was a matinée, she would arrive there at noon, but had a break in the afternoon. I would take her out to dinner on these days, and I reveled at the choices that we had. We tried different kinds of food, some of it I had never heard of, but found that I liked it. _Kind of makes the cooking of an old house elf seem dull._ On days when she only had evening shows, we spent our days exploring London. We visited tourist places and we'd go shopping. _She was an excellent window shopper, never wanting to buy anything. I just wish that she'd let me spend a little money on her._

There was one thing that I wanted to see, and I dragged her with me. She was less than excited at my choice, but she did her best to enjoy it for me. I had to laugh, she could nurse a werewolf every month, but the Tower of London gave her the shivers.

The city was beautiful, especially after it snowed. Most days, I would meet her after her concert, and bring her home; her face always lit up when she saw me waiting by the entrance as the performers left. One night, she got a ticket for me, and I was able to sit in the Orchestra section to see the concert. She was stunning when she sang. I knew that she was the same small girl that flitted around the flat just hours before, but in her long black gown, her hair pulled high on her head, she seemed so much older.

Oh Christmas Eve, there was only one afternoon concert. Unknown to me, she had started a wonderful dinner before she had left; when she came home, she pulled it from the oven, and we dined together. The snow had begun to fall, and it was a truly picturesque evening. She had baked more biscuits, _there could never be enough biscuits around here_, and we sat watching the snow fall by the lights of the Christmas Tree.

"Sirius, do you have any plans for tonight?" she asked me, still staring the lights on the tree.

"No. Why is there something that you want to do?" I replied, puzzled. I couldn't imagine what she wanted to do.

"It's just that I am feeling a little homesick right now, and it's Christmas Eve and..." she took a deep breath "...Sirius, I want to go to church tonight. I always went with my family, and it was so beautiful with all the candles and the music. You don't have to go with me, there is a church only a block or so from the Leaky Cauldron, and I could walk there for service and then come back home. I know it's not your thing, but it would really mean a lot to me, so if it won't upset you, and I won't be changing any plans that you have, I want to go to church," she said quietly.

"Anwen, you don't have to justify this to me. If it's important to you, then it will be something that we do. What time do we need to leave?" I couldn't believe that she was this worried about telling me that she wanted to go to church. I never went as a child, it wasn't important to my parents. We went, on special days, because it was socially acceptable, but it wasn't something we did for enjoyment or spiritual fulfillment. I never really paid attention either. I tormented my brother, or made faces at people, or kicked the person in front of me. Clearly it was something different for her.

"Um, service is at 11:00 p.m., I think if we were to leave here by 10:30 we would be fine. Are you sure? You'll have to get dressed up, well more dressed up than you are now," she pointed at my holed jeans and my stretched out jumper.

"We have plenty of time, and yes, I can clean myself up. Anwen, if it's important to you, then it is important to me. I was afraid that you were going to want me to apparate us to your parents house in Wales, which had me worried, since I wasn't sure that I could find it on my own. Church seems far easier than that," I smiled at her, and she turned her head and returned it. We sat there for a while longer, and she rested her head on my shoulder and quietly hummed a sweet carol. _Church would have nothing on the perfection of this moment._

We walked through the newly fallen snow toward the church. Anwen looked almost as lovely as the night I saw her sing. Her hair was pulled up, and she had woven ribbons through her curls, and it all hung gently around her face. I had transfigured my old dress robes into a proper Muggle suit and tie, and she smiled widely and giggled as I bowed to her when she came out of the bedroom to find me fully dressed up. We walked in the snow, her hand wrapped around my arm. As we entered the church, I tensed a little, it had been a while since I had been in one, but Anwen seemed so at ease. She moved her hand from my arm to clasp mine in her small one, and lead me to the balcony. "We can see better from up here," she whispered in my ear.

We still had a few minutes until the music would start. The room was picturesque with the candle light flickering and dancing off of the stained glass windows and the gray stones of the church. The high vaulted ceiling with it's dark wood buttresses cast shadows that seemed to float and move. A few moments later, a small choir stepped forward and began a beautiful piece of music. When I looked over at Anwen, she was mouthing the music along with them, I touched her sleeve and questioned her with my eyes.

"For Unto Us A Child Is Born from Handel's _Messiah_," she replied back. _Should have known that she would know the song._

A man in a white robe stood, and began speaking. I assumed that he was the minister. As we moved to each part of the service, Anwen would show me where the words were or would open the books to the right page, she knew the words to all the songs without looking at them, and she would sometimes look at me and smile, urging me to sing along. I had never sung before, and it was honestly a little intimidating to sing next to her, but she had kept her voice quiet and hushed, even though we were alone in our row.

The choir stood, and sang again. Again, Anwen was mouthing along the words, silently. She looked at me again, and silently said: "This Little Babe by Benjamin Britten. It's one of my favorite pieces of Christmas music," she placed her little hand in mine again, and smiled. I couldn't help but feel like she was lifting a curtain on a part of her that she kept hidden, just letting me see. It was strange to see her this way, comfortable and knowledgeable. _It's so different from when she's at school, she still thinks she's behind somehow._

The robed gentleman got up again and spoke, and then a soloist stood to sing another song. I listened, and realized that I had heard this song before. It was the same song that Anwen had sung as her solo a few nights before. She was looking at her shoes, trying not to look at me. I squeezed her hand, and she looked up.

"You sang it better."

She smiled and rolled her eyes and laid her head on my shoulder again. "Thank you," she whispered, smiling softly.

The service ended with candle lighting. Everyone in the church had their own candle. I didn't know where they had gotten them all, but before I could panic, Anwen placed a small candle in a strange paper holder into my hands and smiled. Someone lit hers, and she in turn lit mine. We started singing again, and I knew it as the carol that the concert always ended with, the one that she sang the descant on. I remembered the one time that she had sung it for me, two years ago, and I looked down at her. I knew that she too was remembering the same night. As if on cue, she started singing it, her descant, just loud enough that I could hear her. She never took her eyes away from mine; she sounded like an angel. I stopped singing and just looked at her. The moment was broken when I felt hot wax falling onto my fingers. _Damn, oh don't say that here. I need to get this off of my fingers, it hurts._ Anwen took my candle, blew both of ours out, and let me out of the church. When we reached the street, she pealed the wax from my fingers and gently kissed where it had been. We walked home in silence, there was nothing that needed to be said.

**Anwen POV:**

_It's Christmas Morning. My favorite morning of all._ I quickly padded away from bed and went to get my dressing gown and slippers from the closet. I needed to get to the kitchen without waking him up. _ Yum, I am going to make my favorite sticky rolls and eggs for breakfast._ I had started the dough last night, punched it down and formed it, and left it to proof after church. All I needed to do was light the oven and bake this morning. The rolls were laden with nuts and cinnamon, and soon, the whole flat would smell wonderful. I started boiling water for tea and coffee as I had bought a French Press for here too. Within the hour, I had a perfect breakfast ready, even getting Sirius some pumpkin juice. _ Stuff is still vile, how does he drink it, it's worse than Muggle beer._ Time to wake up my family. I would do it just as I had when I was little.

I bounded toward him, still asleep in bed; then I pounced. Bouncing up and down on the bed, his eyes jerked open and he screamed a very cowardly scream. _ Need to tell James about that one, he will tease him mercilessly. _"Happy Christmas family, time to get up and eat!" I was still bouncing and smiling and having way too much fun, since Sirius looked like he was ready to hex me.

"Anwen, it's morning, and as you remind me at every chance you get, you are not a child. Can't I just sleep a little more?" he whined, pulling the covers up over his head.

"No!" I pulled the covers off of him, "time for breakfast, and then presents. Come on, it's getting cold," I pulled his arm and nearly dragged him onto the floor before he decided to place his feet down. When we entered the kitchen, I was still bouncing, but Sirius was surprised.

"How long have you been up?" he said with a yawn.

"About an hour. I started the rolls last night. Sit down, eat, it's getting cold," I told him.

We ate breakfast and talked about Christmas in our childhoods. He couldn't believe the chaos that was my Christmas when I was in Wales. By 10:00, it was all over, and there was wrapping paper and food everywhere. Everyone dove into the gifts with both hands, and there was always laughter and music. For days afterwards, we would be discovering what someone else had gotten when we weren't looking. I loved it. He explained that his childhood Christmases were more controlled. Honestly, it was all controlled, who got to open what, and when, how long you must spend with each gift to show the appropriate amount of affection for the giver. Too much emotion was frowned upon. _Sounds thrilling. Yuck. How ever does he put up with me? I must seem like a volcano exploding compared to that!_

When breakfast was done, we went by the tree. I couldn't wait to give him my gift. I told him to sit down, and wait. I ran to the closet, and got the gifts out for him. _ I am soooooo excited. I hope he likes it._ "Okay, don't look at it's looks, look at what it does," I said as I handed it to him.

He looked at me, with a look of fear and concern. As he pulled off the wrappings, it revealed a plain brown box. "Thrilling," he said, dryly.

"Open the box, git," I answered, wringing my hands together. I was getting anxious. _ Would he notice if I opened it for him?_ He opened the end, and out slid the pink and floral box.

"Um, thanks Anwen. I don't have one of these," he said, looking at it utterly confused.

"Open it," I commanded and he obeyed, and saw that it was a record player. "I know, it's kind of ugly, but it's a battery operated Record Player. I put a better needle on it, so now, you can play all the records that we have here. We can paint it or something to cover it up, but when I saw it I knew it was perfect," I explained, hoping that he would like it.

"Anwen, it's awesome. One small problem, I don't have any batteries," he moaned in regret.

"Ha. Open this one now," it was a cloth bag that I had found at a flea market this summer. I liked it, but had no idea what to do with it. This was perfect. He opened the drawstring and laughed.

"Of course, a bag full of batteries. Thank you, it is indeed perfect," he hugged me and kissed my head. I was so very happy because he was happy. I did my little happy dance while I sat on the couch.

He pushed a box toward me that was sitting on the coffee table. It was smaller than the record player box, but when I tried to lift it, it was really heavy. I untied the ribbon and lifted the top of the box off. Inside was a beautiful book. It seemed old, and it had a soft leather cover. I lifted the heavy book from the box and opened it. The Unabridged Works of William Shakespeare. "Sirius, how old is this? It's beautiful. Oh thank you so much," there were tears in my eyes as I leaned over and hugged him. _Never before had anyone given me something that would mean more to me._

"One more gift, close your eyes, and put out your hand," we had been here before. Then I felt my bracelet on my wrist. I opened my eyes, and smiled. There was a glittering Christmas Tree attached.

We lounged in our pajamas for hours, listening to music, while I read sonnets and soliloquies aloud. It wasn't until mid afternoon that we realized we had to get dressed, or we would be late for dinner at the Potter's. Dinner was a wonderful and relaxed event, and the food was delicious. The Potters were gracious hosts and seemed to appreciate the Christmas biscuits that I had brought with me.

I had another week of concerts, and then I was through. We celebrated New Years with Lily, James, Remus and Peter at our home. We laughed through most of the night, and everyone slept on the floor of the living room. They went home sometime in the afternoon, and we met again, as we boarded the train to go back to Hogwarts.

**Sirius POV:**

_I was in detention again. It had become a very familiar place since the first of the year. James and I needed to have some fun, more fun. Unfortunately, that seemed to get us into trouble. _ We had seen this new spell, that would lift the person into the air by one foot, and we really enjoyed using it, especially against Snivelus. He still bothered Lily, and he leered at Anwen, and it was almost too easy to do something against him. Unfortunately, we had gotten caught one too many times, by Professor Slughorn no less, and ended up with some serious amounts of detention. The worst was the Saturday that we were in for the whole day, when there was a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Lily was furious with James at ending up with an all day, Saturday detention; the team was angry because neither of us would be playing - none of them were talking to us, even Anwen. They won the game, but just barely. We were a little more careful after that, around the time of matches, but only a little.

So, that's how I ended up being in another Saturday detention. This time, it was a Hogsmeade Saturday. Anwen, Lily and Eva were going into town alone. _Okay, they're not alone; they're going with friends, but they were without us boys; so they might as well be alone. I'm also missing an appointment with Missy Langthon in the broom closet. Man, she has some nice..._ My concentration was broken by someone snoring rather loudly. We were all in detention this time for transfiguring the floor outside of Filtch's office. It looked solid, but it was like quicksand. Mrs. Norris, the cat, got stuck. The look on his face was worth the detention. We were supposed to be cleaning the insides of the school award cups with a toothbrush; however we were, mostly sleeping. We'd used magic and finished hours ago.

"Padfoot, are you awake?" James yelled over at me.

"Yeah. All this stimulating work has kept me awake," I replied. "What about you Moony?"

"Huh?" Remus said, clearly, he wasn't really awake. "Wormtail" I waited, "Wormtail" he was sleeping more soundly than Remus.

"Prongs, you don't know what Winnie wants to tell us do you?" I asked him. Anwen had said that she had something to show us after dinner. It had to do with her lessons with McGonagall this year.

"What makes you think that I would know if you don't?" James replied, drowsily.

"She hasn't really been too happy with me lately, and with all the detentions, we haven't talked much."

"I don't think it's the detentions that have been the problem there Padfoot. You can't talk when your lips are pressed up against Missy all the time," he grunted at me; but I tried to ignore him. "Why do you date these girls anyway? Winnie's much better for you," he mumbled in his sleep. _It's not like that. Sure, I love Winnie, but I wouldn't do to her what I do to the other girls, she's...she's...special._

"Winnie would want me to stay out of trouble. I just ask because I know that you meet her to do Potions with her, so I hoped you had gotten some idea of what she is up to," I explained.

"Nope. Anyway, I am having a hard enough time with Lily to worry about anybody else's girl troubles. I haven't had a good snog in weeks, she is so angry at me. Maybe we should try to stay out of trouble?" he said. I laughed at him.

"Really? Stay out of trouble? We wouldn't be very marauder-ish if we did that no would we?"

"Guess not. Have a good nap Padfoot," he said, sort of mumbling as he fell asleep.

After supper, Anwen ran out, said she needed to take care of something before she could show us whatever it was that she was showing us. We were told that we should meet her in fifteen minutes, in our dorm room. We all finished, and walked back to the tower. When we got there, Winnie was no where to be found. We sat down on our beds, Lily sitting, not too closely to James, since she was angry about having to go to Hogsmeade alone. Turns out that Anwen had disappeared for a while today, and Lily did not even know where she was; her room mates didn't know either. _This is twice in one day that she had run off. _ We talked for a few minutes, and we were all getting antsy. That's when the bird flew in. Lily shrieked at the bird, and James immediately jumped off of his bed and tried to shoo it away and out the window. The bird would have nothing to do with it, and it spun and dove and wove it's way around our room. It flew with grace and speed and none of us could get close to it. Finally, it came to rest on the end of my bed. As it placed it's wings away, it cocked it's little bird head and let out a melodic cry. I looked at the bird for a moment, _something seems familiar about this bird, but what?_ It was the most beautiful shade of brown, and it looked at me like it knew me. I kept staring for another minute, and then in a blink of an eye, the bird was no longer there, but Anwen was sitting on my bed.

"Anwen. What, who, was that you? How did you do that?" I stammered out, but she just sat there, looking at me, smiling that huge grin of hers. She turned around and looked at the rest, they all mirrored my look.

"You need me to explain how I did this?" she teased me, cocking her eyebrow and curling up her upper lip. _Well, of course it was an Animagus transformation, but I didn't even know that she was trying to learn. _"That's what I've been learning. Professor McGonagall was so impressed with how quickly I learned Charms and Transfiguration, that she thought I might manage this. The first few weeks were quite dull, because I couldn't let on that I knew all the intricacies of being an Animagus; I'm not supposed to know what one is. She didn't need to know that I had watched all of you change more times than I could count over the years. I was officially registered today. Did you know that the Ministry of Magic is huge!" she told us, trying to change the subject.

"Wait, what?" Lily stammered. "You are an officially registered Animagus. There are only seven in all of Great Britain! Anwen, that's really advanced magic!"

"Now there are eight!" she answered back, rather proud of herself.

"What bird is that?" James asked

"Why a bird?" Remus asked

"How did you do this without telling any of us? I would have helped you?" I asked. We all sort of talked at once, and Anwen seemed almost as shell shocked as the rest of us. She held up her hands to get us to stop.

"The bird is a Kestrel, they're common in all of Great Britain, and it gives me great cover, since no one would notice another falcon flying about. I picked a bird because I love to fly, and a falcon, because I did need to be able to protect myself in that form. I told none of you, because I knew it would be fun to surprise all of you. I did have help remember; it's not like I did it on my own," she teased.

Anwen changed again, and flew around the room, and again came to rest on my bed. She was excited and very proud of herself. We stayed there talking with everyone for hours. She wanted to help with Remus and his changes, but I wasn't sure that I liked her being near a werewolf. When she started to yawn, I walked her to the common room. She continued to amaze me, her capacity to learn and to embrace life was intoxicating. We stood at the bottom of the stairs to the girls dorms, and I just wanted to hold her. She was the light in my otherwise ordinary life. I was so proud of her and on days like today, I couldn't figure out what she saw in me, when she was so extraordinary.

"Good night little one, sleep well. You are amazing, thanks for sharing it with me. Love you," I whispered in her ear as I held her.

"Love you too. Thanks for being excited for me, see you tomorrow," she whispered back. Once she was gone, I ran out to the owlery. I needed to send a note right now. Three days later, I got back my reply, and that night, I magically put the falcon charm on her bracelet. It took her another two days to realize that it was there.

A few days before her birthday, we were out on the lawn, trying to work on homework. She was successfully practicing her Transfigurations. I was unsuccessfully working on my Transfiguration spells. I had fallen behind in that class, but it was a perfect day and it was far more interesting to look at the sky, and watch her change her hedgehog into a pin cushion and back.

"You need to study, Sirius. You're way behind in your Transfiguration work according to Remus. Wouldn't be because you spent so much time with Missy Langthon, trying to get her to snog you, would it?" she said raising an eyebrow at me. "I will not be held responsible when you fail and have to spend all summer working on things you should have taken the time to learn during the school year," she was reprimanding me, it was hilarious.

"Thanks Mum," I replied sarcastically. I opened my book, but when I started to review the theories, a dark shadow was cast against it. I looked up, and saw the headmaster, standing there, looking at us.

"Miss Hodgson, Mr. Black, I am glad to see that you are enjoying the warmer weather while still keeping up with your studies. Miss Hodgson, there is someone here that would very much like to speak with you. He is up in my office, would you please accompany me there? Mr. Black, I would also ask you to join us, since I believe that what will be discussed concerns you as well," he said.

"Yes, sir, of course. Can you please tell me if anything is wrong?" Anwen asked. "Are we in some kind of trouble?" she added, looking at me suspiciously. "_I haven't done anything, really!" _I wanted to scream at her.

"No, you're not in trouble, and shockingly, neither is Mr. Black," he chuckled. _Come on, I've been trying to stay out of trouble, sort of._ "I believe that you will be quite pleasantly surprised by our visitor," he added.

We gathered our things and I helped Anwen up off the ground and we headed to the headmaster's office. Once upstairs, we found seated there a well dressed Muggle gentleman. When he turned to face us, Anwen caught her breath, and stumbled slightly.

"Mr. Meriwether, it's an honor to see you here. I was so taken with what you had to teach last summer, I really am humbled to meet you," she spoke, walking over to him, offering her hand.

"Miss Hodgson, I am pleased that you remember me," he said, taking her hand. "May I call you Anwen?"

"Of course sir. Please pardon my manners, Mr. Meriwether, this is my dearest friend Sirius Black. Sirius, this is Mr. Meriwether, he's the Creative Director of the Shakespeare company that taught our classes last summer," she explained. _Ah, she loved her classes last year, that explains her excitement._

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Black," he offered me his hand and I shook it.

"The pleasure is all mine, sir," I replied, smiling at him. Anwen seemed so taken with him, I had never seen her simply blush because she was in someone's presence.

"Sir, why are you here; on second thought, how are you here? Professor, I thought the school was unplottable unless you were...um, like us?" Anwen spoke to each of the men in turn.

"Anwen, I graduated from Hogwarts twenty-seven years ago. We wizards are all over, even in the theater," Mr. Meriwether replied.

"Oh. All right. Are you here for a social visit?" Anwen questioned him.

"I am here on official business. Anwen, we would like to offer you a position as a member of our company for the summer season. We are doing several plays this summer that will require the services of a younger woman, and when we discussed all the young women that we had seen over the last year, your name kept coming up. You would be the youngest member of the company, but I believe that you are ready for this. Would you be interested in working this summer with us?"

Anwen crumpled to the floor, looking up at him. Her green eyes were as big as saucers and her face had gone white. I immediately knelt beside her, rubbing her back, and both older gentleman bent down as well. She waved me off, letting me know that she was okay with her eyes. She took my hand and stood again.

"Sir. I am utterly overwhelmed. Please forgive my collapse, my knees suddenly went weak," she said, righting herself. She was talking like she didn't recognize the words coming out of her mouth. I put my arm around her to help steady her. "I'm shocked; no, I'm beyond shocked. Thank you sir, I would be honored; but before I accept there is some information that I need," she said, getting control of herself.

"Of course, please sit, let me tell you exactly what we have planned and how you would fit in," he said, and we all sat down. I reached over to hold Anwen's hand, and she grabbed mine with both of hers. I could feel her pulse through her fingers, and her heart was beating so quickly. He explained the plays that would be done, what rehearsal schedules would be like, and how much she would be paid. I swear her heart skipped a beat at the sum. I knew it had to be more money than Anwen had ever had. _That wouldn't be hard._ We talked further, and she explained that she would like to continue to live in the flat that I had rented. _She called it our home, out loud, to other people._ I smiled at that, _she's the one that made it home_. They agreed that it would be fine, and that Professor Dumbledore would keep close tabs on us, since she was still underage. Mr. Meriwether would make sure that her "special abilities" were protected, and with all the fine details worked out, Anwen signed a contract for the summer. She would start rehearsals the day after her last final. She was even given a cash signing bonus, which she just stared at. The gentlemen bade us goodbye, and we left the office.

I kept my arm around her as we walked back to the tower, she looked like she might collapse at any time. _That's my girl. I'm so proud of her. _ I carried all of our books, and she carried the Muggle money in her hand. We passed Missy on our way back to the dorms, the girl I had been meeting up with her for some exciting broom closet sessions over the last few weeks. She looked irritated that I was walking with Anwen, carrying her books, my arm around her waist. She tried to come over, but I shook my head, brushing her off. I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and she ran off toward the Ravenclaw tower. _Don't think she'll be meeting me anymore, oh well. _ I ushered Winnie right up to my room, and made her lie down in my bed.

"Are you all right? You haven't said a word since we left Dumbledore's office," I asked her lying down on the bed with her, moving her head so that it was lying on my chest, stroking her hair and back.

"Yes, no, I don't know. Do you realize that this is a dream of mine, that I didn't even give voice to. It was too crazy to think about, too silly to even fantasize about; and now, it's come true. Sirius, I am the youngest member of an acting company - a famous one to boot. Oh, wait, I still have to take my summer classes at the music school. How will this work? What am I going to do?" she was suddenly panicking.

"Anwen, why don't you talk to Mr. Meriwether, I think he'll be able to work it out for you. Maybe you won't have to sing this summer. Wouldn't that be wonderful?" I smiled at her, but her face was still so white, and her breathing was heavy and fast. _Is she going into shock? I've gotta get her to calm down._

"You have no idea. Sirius, I'm going to get to do what I want for once. I'm going to get to live there with you. Pinch me, this must be a dream!" I pinched her, she screamed. "Okay, not dreaming, and ow that hurt!" she said, rubbing her arm.

We laid there for a while until we must have fallen asleep. I was awoken with someone's socks being thrown into my face. James was standing at the end of my bed with Lily, both of them looking smug. I told them it wasn't like that, _for Pete's sake, we were fully dressed, with our shoes on, on top of the covers. None of them have any idea how often Winnie and I slept curled together this way._ It didn't matter, Winnie was happy and content. I didn't care what they thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

**Sometimes it just Hurts**

**Sirius POV:**

The end of the school year, and exams came about quickly. Anwen chose to use her new found wealth to buy a few things for the flat, as well as her own owl; a large black one she named Midnight. It was a beautiful bird, with a rotten disposition, he tended to nip at peoples fingers. She wanted us to be able to talk with our friends easily this summer, and she would need to keep Professor Dumbledore apprised of what would be going on. The day before we were to leave, Midnight delivered her a letter - she got her first cast list. They were doing one of her favorite plays, The Tempest and she had been cast as Miranda. I watched as again she crumpled at the surprising news, right in the middle of the Great Hall. I was so proud, her first play, and she had a rather large part. She stayed awake all night with her book, learning her lines. The book remained on her lap all the way back to London, and even once we were home. Finally, late at night, she fell asleep reading. I took the book from her lap and carried her to bed.

Her rehearsals were from eight to five each day, I would take her to the theater and bring her home each night. I could apparate, and Dumbledore agreed that she would be safer having me escort her daily. In addition, it saved so much time to have her side along. We would leave from our stoop, and arrive in an alley behind the theater. Several days, I stayed, and watched rehearsal. Anwen was quite the professional, taking notes about any comment or criticism that was given to her, and then incorporating it into her performance. She was luminous on stage. The role was that of an innocent, falling love for the first time. I was fine with it, until they started talking about her having to kiss another actor on stage. He was older than I was, and he looked at her in a way that I recognized. _My Winnie isn't just any girl, and no man should be looking at her that way. She isn't a piece of meat._ I wasn't so sure about this kissing thing, but she assured me that it would be fine, it was just a play, and it was what would have to be done. _I still don't like it._

Anwen made friends easily, except with some of the other young women, they were caddy and rude and it was clear that they were envious. They would say things to her, when they thought that no one was around or listening. I heard some truly awful things, but she just brushed them off. When I was picking her up one day, one of them said something about her having performed a rather rude act on Mr. Meriwether to get the part. I'd had it, and came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, kissing the back of her head, leering at them. They all looked gob-smacked. I was much taller than Anwen now, and I had let my hair grow out, and hadn't shaved in several days. I think I looked a little menacing, their reactions confirmed this. It was just what I wanted, they left her alone after that. Anwen told me that I was never allowed to do that again, and in no uncertain terms, let me know that she would fight her own battles. _Silly girl, isn't that what big brothers were for?_

The men on the crew took a particular liking to Anwen. She was kind to them, baking them biscuits, and asking about their families. They taught her a lot about the stage craft, and the lighting was of particular interest. She found that she enjoyed climbing above the stage, to watch scenes that she wasn't in being rehearsed. Anwen had all of these burly men so wrapped around her finger, that they even let me go with her. It was a spectacular view.

Finally, opening night arrived. _I think I'm more nervous than she is._ All of our friends, and many of their families were there. Peter, James, Remus and Lily were all there, along with Mr. and Mrs. Potter as well as Dr. and Mrs. Evans. Clara came with her father, and Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall even made the trip. I knew the whole play, I had seen enough rehearsals to know what was coming, but I was still amazed by her poise and grace. Several times I had to remind myself just how young she was. Never had I seen her look more compelling or beautiful. _If I didn't already love her I would have fallen madly in love at the mere sight of her._

After the play, we went out to celebrate, she was nearly floating as our friends greeted her. So many of them had brought her flowers, she teased that she could open her own florist shop. I chose instead to give her another charm, comedy and tragedy masks. Her bracelet was beginning to look like a map of her life, our life. She fingered each charm, and smiled and I silently reminisced with her.

Each play would run for three weeks, and while one was in production, they would begin rehearsing another. Anwen only had a very small role in the next play, which she was thankful for. She had few day rehearsals, which made it easier for her to rest and be prepared for her work that night. About two weeks in, Anwen seemed very tired. She told me that it was just because of her working so hard, but I had seen her dance for hours, and still flit around our home last summer. She would curl up on the couch, and sleep during the day, rising every afternoon, getting up and dressed to go to the theater, but she would complain that she just didn't feel right. She had nearly stopped eating as well.

Unbeknownst to my little one, I had purchased a motorbike. I kept it out at the Potter manor, as it was much better to drive, or fly it, out on the Scottish countryside. Prongs and I were out one night when we ran into some trouble and barely escaped both Death Eaters and police officers. We had gotten the bike back into the garage at James' house and then I needed to get changed and go get Winnie. I knew I was cutting it close. I don't know who was more surprised to find Lily sitting in the hallway outside the flat, waiting for us to return.

Moments later, I was running wildly through Muggle London. I wasn't sure where I was going, so I couldn't apparate there. I had gotten as close as I safely could, but now I was needing to run. James and Lily were following me, but they couldn't keep up. Finally, I saw the large white building in the distance, it's great red cross distinguished it. Lily's words kept repeating in my mind. _"Dumbledore got in touch with me a short time ago. Anwen has been taken to a Muggle hospital. She collapsed after tonight's performance. She was running a high fever and was doubled over in pain. Mr. Meriwether wasn't on site, or she would have gone to St. Mungo's. My father was rushing over to see what he can find out. Sirius, we have to get there, right away."_

I reached hospital, and went tearing through the trauma department, finding Dr. Evans and Dumbledore. Anwen was in surgery; Muggle surgery. They were cutting her apart to remove an infection. I didn't understand much of what was being said. Random words passed through my head, disconnected and confusing. I collapsed into a chair and put my head in my hands. I waited, and as the time lengthened, my worry increased. In my mind, I tried to replay the scenes that the charms on her bracelet stood for. Moments frozen in time, but that were so much a part of who I had become. _What if there are no more? _I pushed the thought from my mind, I couldn't even bear the idea.

It seemed like forever, but it was only about six hours. The surgeon came out and talked with us. I didn't really hear much. Once he said that she was recovering nicely, my brain shut down. Thankfully, Dr. Evans knew what questions to ask. The surgeon left, and I looked at Lily's father for interpretation. Anwen had a serious infection in her bowels. They had to cut a length of intestines out, and then reattach everything. It was going to be a long recovery, and she wasn't out of danger. He asked me if I wanted to see her. I followed him into the room. There were tubes and machines hooked up to her. I could tell from the dressing on her abdomen that the incision was long. _They had butchered her._ My sweet girl looked so small, so weak, lying there. Her face however, was as serene as I had ever seen it. _She looks like she's just asleep._ I sat down at the side of her bed, and I cried. I had never wept for anyone like this before, but somehow seeing Anwen like this, shook me to the core. _ My Winnie._

I don't know how long I was there. None of the others came in, they just left me there, cradling her little hand, in mine. A nurse came in, and told me that it was time for me to leave. I told her, no. She called in someone else, and they started making arguments about immediate family only, and hospital regulations. Dr. Evans and Dumbledore appeared, and somehow convinced them that I was indeed her family, and that I was going no where.

Days stretched on. Lily and James brought me clean clothes and food, but I would not leave her side. Her mother came in from Wales. She was polite when she saw me, but seemed distressed to find out that I was considered immediate family by the hospital staff. She spoke with Anwen once, but I wasn't even sure Anwen was aware of what was going on, then she left again. _Anwen wasn't even better yet, and her mother left; and she didn't want me considered family?_ Finally, after almost a week, the fever broke, and Anwen became lucid. I was never so glad to hear anything in my life as her graveling out my name.

When she was finally discharged, I wanted to take her home, but Dumbledore convinced me that she would be better cared for if we went back to school, so that she could be on the hospital wing, watched over by Madame Pomfrey. Between the Muggle care that she had been given, and the introduction of Wizarding medicine, Anwen began to improve. She was able to sit up longer, and stay awake for a few hours at a time, and she was beginning to eat again, although her diet was very limited. At night though, she would toss and turn in her sleep, unable to get comfortable. I laid in the bed with her, holding her still, stroking her hair until she would finally succumb to the sleep that the potions would bring. She felt so small in my arms, even as her strength began to come back; but it was obvious that she would be healing for a very long time. I had moved most of my things in with her, and since school wasn't in session, no one seemed to mind. I cared for her as best as I could.

The scar on her abdomen was huge. It went from below her navel to near her hip bone. She was embarrassed for me to see it, so Lily came to help her change clothes and assist in washing her hair. She couldn't wear much of anything that was in her closet, so I asked Lily to buy her some bedclothes that she would be comfortable in. Anwen complained, but I didn't care. I would have spent anything on her to make her more comfortable. The company chose to pay her the full summer salary, even though she would be unable to perform any more. I deposited it all in her account, anything that she would need, I would take care of. Upon my father's death, I got more money; which I didn't want or need. At least by helping Anwen, I could do something good and worthwhile with it.

One evening, we were sitting up on her bed, playing chess, passing time until she would need to sleep again.

"Sirius, I am so sorry that I ruined you summer," she said meekly.

"Winnie, you did nothing of the sort. I am just so thankful that you are okay. I couldn't believe how badly you looked when I first saw you. I honestly was afraid I was going to loose you," I couldn't say any more. She took my face in her hands, and pulled my face to look at her.

"I knew you were there. I could feel you there, but I couldn't tell you it would be okay. It hurt so bad, but I couldn't get the words out," tears were falling down her face, but she didn't let go of mine.

"Winnie, don't ever scare me that way again," I wiped the tears from her face, and kept stroking her cheeks until there were no more tears for her to cry.

**Anwen POV:**

I couldn't believe how bad I was still feeling. It had been four weeks since I had fallen ill, and had been rushed into surgery, and I still was struggling to stay awake all day. Classes were due to start in two days, and I wasn't sure that I would remain awake long enough to go. I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital wing yet, but at least I could get up and walk around. Madame Pomfrey had gotten me a rocking chair and a small desk and chair, so that I would be prepared when classes started again. My stitches had healed enough that I could shower on my own, and there was nothing better feeling than standing in that warm water for the first time. Every time I got up though, I felt like my legs were made of rubber, and my feet were sponges. Sirius refused to leave my side, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was glad. He saved me from falling more times than I could count.

Sirius did leave long enough to go to London with Lily to both pack our things at the flat, and close it up, until we would be there again; and to do our back to school shopping. I gave him a long list, and my bag of gold. He returned with everything on the list, as well as a few other things, and more gold in my bag than when he left. I tried to protest, but he told me I must have counted wrong. _Stupid stinky rich guy._ I still didn't want to eat, but I forced a little food into me every day. The first time that I saw myself in the mirror, I gasped. I had never been large, but now I seemed frail and weak. My skin seemed drawn over my face, and my eyes were so far back in my head. My fingers looked bony when I lifted them. I was wearing a soft nightgown that Sirius had Lily buy, _stupid stinky rich nightgown buying guy_ that had buttons all the way down. I unbuttoned several of them on my abdomen, and looked at myself. My ribs seemed to jut out from me, and whatever chest I had finally been beginning to grow was now gone. The worst however, was the angry red line that ran across me. It was still so tender, I hated the way I looked. _Well, I won't ever be wearing a bikini to the beach now. _I buttoned myself back up, and resolved to gain back some weight. Just then, the schools kindly nurse, Madame Pomfrey came in to check up on me.

"Anwen deary, I am so glad to see you up and moving around. How are you feeling today?" she asked me.

"All right. I was just looking at myself in the mirror. I look like a corpse. How much weight did I loose?"

"I won't lie, you've gone from thin to thinner, but you should be getting your appetite back soon. I think that you should be just fine. Where is that boyfriend of yours? He never leaves you alone this long," she said.

"He's in London getting supplies, and he is not my boyfriend," I added an eye roll to the last part, emphasizing the not part.

"I'm sorry, he's just so attentive. Well, I am glad that someone was here to watch over you. Even though term is starting soon, I want you to stay here for a while longer. There are too many stairs for you to climb to get to the Gryffindor tower, and it would be better for me to keep an eye on you too. After another week, I should be able to let you go back," she explained.

"That's fine, I have gotten used to it here now. Thank you for all that you have done for me. I do appreciate everything. I have one question though, will I be able to play Quidditch this year. I know that things are still stitching themselves back together in there," I asked her hopefully, pointing to where my scar was. "I really wanted to play, it would be my last year of playing with Sirius and James," I told her.

"I think that by the time the first match rolls around, you will be fine. But you can't practice for at least a few more weeks. Talk with the team captain, but given how well you've played before, I think you will be fine," she said, smiling at me.

"Thank you so very much!" I beamed at her.

"Now, back to bed. I still worry about you walking around alone. You are not that strong yet. And try to eat something, please," she begged me. I nodded my head and climbed back into bed, watching her walk away. The conversation had made me consider something that I'd never thought about before. _Why does everyone think that we're dating?_

Two days later when classes started, I realized just how weak I really was. I was in fifth year charms and transfiguration as well as fourth year History, Care of Magical creatures, Herbology, Ancient Runes, Potions and Defense. I was studying Arithmancy on my own, since the class was the same time as my Charms class and we were still without a Divination teacher, which suited me fine, since I thought the whole subject was hooey. I was never allowed to leave the hospital wing without an escort, and if it had been up to Sirius, he would have had me carried to class every day. I took my meals in bed as well, since I tended to fall asleep while eating. Sirius stayed with me at night, attempting to keep me calm and comfortable. Finally, I insisted that he go sleep in his own bed, assuring him I would be all right, and if I needed anything, Madame Pomfrey was only feet away.

James was made captain of the Quidditch team, and I knew that I wouldn't have any trouble missing practices. Our team had only lost one player this year, Maggie had graduated in the spring, so we would need one chaser. Try outs only lasted an hour, James made everyone-except me-who had been on the team go through the motions, but there wasn't anyone better in our house. James was sitting with me one afternoon, talking strategies since I had missed practice.

"James, I need your help with something, but you can't tell Sirius. If he buys me one more thing, I am going to scream," I told him.

"Anwen, he has more money than he knows what to do with, and he isn't comfortable with everything that his father's death left him with. He feels better spending it on you anyway," he smiled at me while he was trying to justify his best friends actions. "But what is it that you need," he added.

"I need a new broom. I love the one that you got for me when I was twelve, but let's be honest, I've grown about half a foot since then and I had put on some more weight; it really is too small. I don't know how to go about ordering one, but I can't fly another season on my old one. I have money, Sirius didn't let me spend any of my summer earnings, so I am sure that I can afford one," I explained.

"Okay, we can write to the shop in Hogsmeade. Tell them about you, and see what they have in Chaser brooms, and then you can make a choice. We can either pick it up when we are there or have it delivered to the school; and I won't tell Sirius," James said.

"What won't you be telling me?" Sirius said, walking into the room. I wondered just how much he had heard.

"Well, if I told you, then it wouldn't be something that James couldn't tell you about. But since I told James he couldn't tell you, then obviously neither will I," _did that sentence even make any sense? _I said quickly. Sirius looked confused.

"Well, I should be off. Can't wait until you are back at practice. Sirius, see you at supper?" James said, getting off my bed.

"No, I think I will take my meal up here okay?" Sirius replied, sitting down next to me, putting his arm around me and hugging me lightly. I could feel myself calm down when he was near me.

"Uh, I was really hoping to go down. I am supposed to be getting out of here on Sunday, it would be good to take a meal in the Great Hall for a change," I said, pleading with Sirius to let me go.

"Okay, then I will see you for supper, please save us some seats," he asked.

It felt so normal to be among friends for supper. Katie and Corinne ran up and hugged me when I came in. I missed their giggling and silliness at night. I had seen them in class, but it was fun to laugh with them. I was thankful for Sirius' steadying hand on my back when they flew at me, or else I would have ended up on the floor. True to his word, James saved us seats. He and Lily were across from us and she smiled brightly when I came over. As I sat, someone else's eyes caught mine, and I saw a small wave; a fifth year by the name of Matthew from Ravenclaw saw me and waved. He was in my Transfiguration class this year. I waved at him, and found myself chewing on my bottom lip. _He's cute. I can't believe he noticed me here._ Lily must have seen my action as well, because she quizzed me with her eyes.

"Cute boy," I whispered to her, and she had a big smile on her face.

"We'll talk later," she whispered back. I nodded.

The food seemed to taste better when I was sitting with my friends, and I nearly cleaned my plate of beef stew. It was the first whole meal I had eaten in well over a month; there were even butter tarts for dessert, and I ate most of it, and drank some tea. By the time I finished, I was exhausted, and I had homework to do for Defense. Lily and Eva walked with me up to the hospital wing.

"So; who is this cute boy?" Lily had linked her arm through mine, and our heads were close together. Eva was standing on the other side.

"Matthew Moyer, he's in Ravenclaw, and he's really sweet. He sat next to me in Transfiguration the other day. He has the most beautiful eyes, and really nice lips," I blushed as I said this, but it was okay, this was the girls I was talking with. _I know all about James' lips from some of our previous conversations._

"So, what's so nice about those lips, hum?" Eva asked.

"They're just so pink and full. I wonder what it would be like to kiss them?"

"Oh, Anwen, you have it bad," she responded.

"Well, I think we need to work up a plan so that you can find out about those lips. It's about time that you got to enjoy a good snog," Lily said with a knowing smile on her face.

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen. I have an overprotective escort everywhere I go lately. I am not even sure that he likes me like that, all he's done is wave and smile at me," I explained.

"Well, strike up a conversation girl. You've never seemed afraid of anything before. I'll get your escort to ease up a little. It could always be James walking you, and I can distract him," we giggled together and talked a little more about it.

"I doubt that Sirius is going to let anyone near me, Lil. This summer, he was worse than my Da," I explained to her.

"Do you think he likes you, like that I mean?" she asked me, and I shook my head.

"No, he's meeting with Dora or Dorothy or something like that tonight, in his favorite broom cupboard. I'm just his runty little sister," I told her, and I realized that I was sad about how he saw me. Lily and Eva exchanged a look, but I couldn't quite read it.

"Well, then, I think it's time that you had someone to snog as well. Let's see what we can do about that," she told me, a wickedly knowing smile on her face. _Maybe having a beau of my own wouldn't be such a bad thing._

"Sure, everyone get a little action, except for me, because the one boy that I like is afraid to do anything with me," Eva complained when we reached the hospital wing.

"Remus still not giving you the time of day?" Lily asked, flopping herself down on the other bed that was behind the partition that separated me from anyone else that might have to come in. Madame Pomfrey called it the "long term wing". I didn't think it was too funny.

"Time of day, sure. Class notes, not a problem. Get him to hold my hand or go to a broom closet or the Astronomy tower, forget it," Eva explained as she slouched into the rocking chair.

"You know it's just because he's a ..." I said very quietly, just in case someone other than the school nurse could hear us.

"Yes, yes, the whole infecting thing. Do you know how sick I am of hearing him put himself down that way? He denies himself any fun, just because he's an animal one night a month. It's not like I'm all pure either, I'm half Siren. I never know if a boy likes me for me, or if he likes me because the sound of my voice has enchanted him." Eva's mum was a siren, until she gave up her enchanted life to live with her dad, a wizard. Eva did have an amazing speaking voice, it was pure and calming. I could swear that I heard waves lapping against the shore when she talked. One of the things that Eva liked about Remus was that as a werewolf, her voice had no effect on him. He could hear so much more than we could, that he heard the gentle beckons that were disguised within her natural vocalizations.

"Then, I think that we need to work on getting both of you boyfriends," Lily said with a glint in her eye.

The next time that I had transfiguration, Lily was true to her word, and had James walk me to class, and she did distract him. Lily even got him to promise to let me walk to lunch on my own after class. We shared a secret smile as I walked into the classroom. Matthew was there, and the desk next to him was indeed empty. I sat down.

"Hey Anwen. You are really looking better. You're face is pinker today," he said to me, smiling. _He has a perfect smile. _

"Thanks, I'm feeling better," I smiled back at him.

"So, you're really good at this stuff aren't you. I mean you're in fourth year, and this is a fifth year class. That's cool," he said. I think he was blushing when he talked to me.

"Um, yeah I guess," I was sure I was blushing when he was talking to me.

"Will you take the O.W.L. this year, or will you wait for the rest of your class?"

"I don't know. With everything that happened to me this summer, I never got a chance to talk with Professor McGonagall about it. I guess I need to find out," I was surprised by this. I hadn't even thought about OWL exams.

"Okay, we're are going to start on animal to inanimate object transfigurations soon. They are supposed to be really hard," he said, looking at me rather intently.

"They aren't bad really. Had to learn them before I could do my Animagus spells last year. Supposedly the theories are similar," I threw out before I realized what I was saying. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You sound like some idiot here. Smug idiot talking to the cute boy._

"Wait. Did you just say Animagus spells. Anwen are you an Animagus?" he stared at me with huge surprised eyes.

"Yes," I said shyly, and he urged me on with his hands. "I become a kestrel, it's a kind of falcon," I said, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"You're really advanced. Why are you even in a fifth year class?" he asked me. I shrugged at him.

"We could work together on it, it's really easy. We could meet this weekend, I have a place that I like to go to down by the lake and we could work on our homework together, if you want," I asked him, sounding hesitant. _Why couldn't you sound more confident?_

"Sure, that would be fun. I would really like to spend the afternoon with you," he replied, a big smile on his face.

"Good, that'll be great," I smiled back at him, biting my lip unconsciously.

"Okay then, it's a date," he said. My heart skipped a beat. _ Did he just say date? Do I have a date? I've never had a date before. Breathe Anwen._

Class started, but I have no idea what was said. I kept sneaking glances over at him, and once our hands brushed as we were writing things down on our parchment. My hand felt like it was on fire when I touched his. After class, he asked if he could walk with me to the Great Hall. I sat down with Katie and Corinne and he sat next to me. _He's sitting at the Gryffindor table to be close to me. No one ever sits at a table other than their own. _ I think I was so excited, I forgot to eat, but I really wasn't interested in food anyway

**Sirius POV:**

I was upset when I saw James walk into the Great Hall with Lily; only Lily. Anwen was no where to be seen. He was supposed to walk with her from her Transfiguration class. They sat down, but before I could say anything Lily spoke.

"Anwen is fine, she's down the table with some of her friends. Let her have her fun," she told me, speaking the last part very slowly.

I scanned the table and found her, with a boy sitting next to her, looking at her and smiling. _Who is this guy? I don't like the way that he is looking at her._

"Who is that guy and why is he looking at her like she is something to be devoured?" I barked at Lily.

"His name is Matthew and he is a fifth year. Anwen thinks he's cute, and I think that he shares the feeling. Let her go Sirius, she needs to be a fourteen year old girl,"

"But..." I started.

"Nope. Let her have her fun, she acts too old too much of the time. You seem to spend enough time with other girls, it's time that she spent some time with a boy that was interested in her. Unless," she started, "you want to go out with Anwen?" she said, raising her eyebrow at me.

"No," I shook my head. "It's not like that at all," I said quietly, but Lily had given me something to think about. _Why was I so upset?_

We ate the rest of lunch in silence. I kept looking down the table at them, and was surprised when they got up together to walk out. I wanted to follow them, but Lily made a face at me, letting me know that it would be unacceptable for me to do so.

The new term was finally in full swing. Quidditch had started up, Anwen was allowed to go to practice, but she had to just watch for another week. We knew she would be all right once she was cleared to fly, she was a really good Chaser. We broke in the new girl, Beatrice as a chaser, with James running passes with her. I was surprised when I looked over, and saw that Matthew boy sitting next to Anwen. _ What is he doing here? Is he holding her hand?_

Then I got smacked with a bludger that Rob had thrown at me. I looked over, and Anwen hadn't even noticed. She was talking with Matthew. _I really don't like him. He's no good for her. _The team played well together, since most of us had been a team for two years already. Anwen was finally allowed to fly, and she came to her first practice with a new broom.

"Where did that come from?" I asked her when she got to practice.

"I bought it," she emphasized the "I". _Guess she noticed that I hadn't let her spend any money over the summer._ "I was really too tall for my old one, so James helped me pick out the right one for me. It's a little long, but I should get a couple of good seasons out of it. I know you would have bought me a new one, but I wanted to do this myself. Thank you for wanting to take care of me though, it means a lot. I love you Sirius, I love you for the way you worry about me, and for how attentive you have been, but I am all better now, and I can take care of myself," _she even tells me to mind my own business gently. She is something else._

"All right Anwen, I get it. Now get up there, we've missed having you fly with us," she mounted her broom and took off, and started circling the pitch, flying freely. Her ponytail was flying behind her, and I could hear her lovely bell like laugh echoing in the empty stadium. It was good to see her back to normal.

**Anwen POV:**

I was so happy that I was allowed to fly. There was a freedom that I had when I flew that could only be compared to the joy of dancing. I felt at ease, _maybe that's why I wanted to be a bird, because it came easy to me, and it gives me peace?_ With just a few practices, we were good. Beatrice caught on well, and soon she and James and I were moving like a well oiled machine. We won our first match without any trouble. I was sad to see it end so quickly.

I also had a boyfriend. _My first real boyfriend._ He was sweet and he made me laugh. He wasn't about the grand gestures, but he always let me know that he really liked me. Notes stuck in my book bag, my favorite dessert just showing up on my plate, loud cheering at the Quidditch match. And his kisses, well, _sigh. I like having a boyfriend._

We had spent some time together at Hogsmeade, and he even was willing to sit and have lunch with the guys, Lily, Eva and I. That must be dedication, since I would be scared of all of them if they weren't my best friends. James, Sirius and Remus had a reputation around school for being pranksters and cads. They all gotten so tall, and had really filled out. Peter was still a lump, and he had lost what little of a personality he once had. Now, he just seemed to follow them around, he reminded me of a lap dog. _ I don't get why they want him around?_ Lily had to be the most beautiful girl at the school, and Eva was intimidating just because she was half siren. They were quite a bunch. Matthew sat with me, holding my hand and kissing my cheek as we ate lunch. _ I really like having a boyfriend. _Sirius must not have enjoyed lunch, because he barely ate, and then sulked out of the _Broomsticks. _ I asked Remus if he knew what was wrong, and he just smiled at me.

The school had announced that we would be having a Yule Ball this year, I was excited. I had never been to a ball, and just as I hoped, Matthew had asked me. I was not going to have to sing this year for the concert series. Since I had not sung this summer, I was not officially part of the school, and therefore, could not perform. Never have I been so happy to be caught up in a loophole in all of my life. I would be able to stay here and go to the ball.

Lily and I got permission to go into London. Technically, I was going to have Dr. Evans check up on my scar and she was allowed to leave campus on weekends, since she was of age. In reality, we really wanted to go shopping. She side along apparated me to her house, my appointment lasted all of five minutes. He said the scar looked good and was healing well. We decided that since we could, we would go to Harrods Department Store to find something to wear and Mrs. Evans came with us. It was so much fun. Lily found the most beautiful russet colored dress that brought out the color of her hair. It flowed over her, and hung like the leaves falling down on a bright autumn day. She paired it with some daring shoes - _I would never attempt to walk in heels that high!_

I found a pale pink dress that reminded me of rose. I had finally put some weight back on, and it made the few curves that I had look more pronounced. It was the softest organza and my whole back was bare. The skirt was layers of pale pink that flowed over each other like flower petals. It was reminiscent of some of my ballet outfits. I found a low pair of heels with little flowers made of crystals on the side that looked perfect with it. To go with it, I found a necklace that had a small floating crystal flower on a thin chain. _Okay, maybe I was glad that Sirius had been sticking extra money in my bag all year._ We headed back to school, proud of what we had bought, and knowing that our dates would be blown away.

The best news of all, Remus had asked Eva. She was so excited, and even had her mother send her a fairy made dress of spun silk to wear. We were all bubbling over waiting for the ball.

Things were odd with Sirius somehow. We still met every Friday night, and did all the things that we had always done, but he didn't want to talk about Matthew at all. More than once I had to remind him of all the girlfriends that I had to endure over the years. Including the insipid sixth year Hufflepuff that he had spent most of the fall with, _Doris or Dorothy or something like that. She had the stupidest laugh I had ever heard. How she was a prefect was beyond me. _ They had recently broken up. _Thank goodness, I couldn't take much more of her. He was also was grumpy because the Marauder's Map had been confiscated, and his roaming the building and finding empty places to snog had been severely curtailed. _

Sirius smiled at me, and laughed, and things seemed all right, at least for a while. It seemed that he hadn't asked anyone to the dance yet, even though several girls were literally throwing themselves at him, begging for a date. I reminded him about the love potion incident a few years back, and he agreed to watch what he ate and drank. A week before the dance, and I was in the Library studying. Matthew came in, and sat down next to me.

"Anwen. Hi. What are you working on?" he said.

"Oh, hi." I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled away. I could feel my face fall. "Defensive Theory. What's wrong?"

"Um, can we take a walk?" he asked me, getting up.

"Sure, you're scaring me," he said nothing, which scared me more. I got up and followed him out, leaving my books behind. When we were out in the corridor, he began talking again.

"Look Anwen, I don't think that this is such a good idea. I mean us, seeing each other, going to the ball. It's obvious that someone else cares about you too much and I just feel like I am in the way," he said, looking at the ground instead of me. I was getting furious now, the blood was boiling in my veins and I could feel it rising within me.

"What did he say?" I spat out, there was only one person who this could be about.

"He was just concerned about you, but I can see how you are when you're together. Your face lights up, and you speak in ways that no one else can understand. Do you even know that you don't talk in complete sentences, a few words here and a few more there, and the two of you seem to just understand each other. And those looks, he looks at you like you are the most precious thing in the world," he told me.

Tears were rolling down my face now and I was having trouble breathing. "I've told you, it's not like that. He's my best friend, that is all. Please, don't do this," I was pleading with him.

"You are a very sweet girl, and I really do like you, but I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm going home in the morning. Have a Happy Christmas. I'll see you after the first of the year," he kissed my cheek and turned and left me there. I was sobbing, and feel down to the floor, warm tears soaking my robes. I don't know how long I sat there, letting the grief wash over me, and then, my tears stopped, and anger bubbled up inside of me. _What had he said? I asked him, no I begged him to just stay out of it, but he couldn't leave well enough alone. Why couldn't he just let me be happy?_

I ran from the hallway, to the tower. He wasn't in the common room, so I flew up the stairs, and thew open the door to the dorm room. Thankfully no one was undressed, but in the mood I was in, I don't think I would have noticed. He wasn't here either.

"Where is he?" I roared at James. Before he could answer, Sirius came in from behind me, I spun around to look at him square in the face. He was only half dressed. At any other time this probably would have made me blush, but right now he could have been in a tutu and I wouldn't have cared.

"What did you do? What did you say? I asked you, I begged you to stay out of it, but you couldn't could you. You had to go and say something, and now he's broken up with me. Why? Why couldn't you just be happy for me for once?" I was screaming and crying and shaking all at once. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James slide off his bed, and head for the door. Sirius just looked at me.

"Anwen, what happened? Who are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me Sirius Black. You know who and what I'm talking about!"

"Anwen, honestly, I ..." he was talking quietly, but when he tried to put an arm around me, I threw it off and screamed.

"Don't you try to comfort me, this is all your mess. WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?" I was screaming at the top of my lungs, stepping away from him.

"Anwen, I just wanted him to know how special you were, and to let him know that I wasn't going to let anyone hurt you, ever," he said so calmly that it only made me more frustrated.

"Well, congratulations, your little pep talk made him break up with me. And do you want to know why, because he thinks that you are in love with me. Stupid huh? I'm not the kind of girl you date, am I Sirius. I'm not good enough for you to take to your damned broom closet to snog. Ha, in love with me, what a joke," I let out a broken laugh that sounded more like a sob, fresh tears again wetting my face. "If you really did love me, you would have just stayed out of it. Sirius, I was happy. I had a boy that liked me, that wanted to kiss me. He was the first boy that ever really kissed me. He liked me for me, and you had to ruin it. You couldn't love me, because if you did, you never would have done this," I wept at him.

"Winnie please. I'll talk with him tomorrow, it'll be okay; calm down honey," he again tried to put his arms around me, but I threw them off of me, and started hitting him in the chest, shoving him away from me.

"Don't touch me! I am so mad at you right now. You said you didn't want anyone hurting me, and yet both of the boys in my life broke my heart tonight. Don't talk to me anymore Sirius, just forget that you know me. I will never forgive you for this. Never," sobs were racking me, and I could barely stand up anymore. I took off my bracelet and threw it at him. "Just stay away from me, you're no friend of mine," I screamed.

I ran out of the room, and down the stairs. Lily was there, waiting for me. She helped me upstairs, where I laid in my bed and cried. I was finally starting to get a hold of myself, when I rolled over and saw my beautiful pink dress hanging in the wardrobe, and the tears started all over.

**Sirius POV:**

_I have never seen her so angry. I didn't mean for her to get hurt, I was trying to keep that from happening. She threw her bracelet at me. She never takes it off. It was her reminder of everything that we had shared. Why would she do that? I broke my promise to protect her. I had hurt her, even if I didn't mean to. What am I going to do?_

I sat down on my bed, the charm bracelet between my fingers. The small charms were all about her. _My Winnie. _James came back in. I grabbed the shirt that was on the end of my bed and pulled it on. I looked at him, and then stood up to go out the door.

"Don't Sirius; Lily is with her. Let her be right now," he said quietly grabbing my arm.

"I have to try to fix this, maybe I can talk with Matthew again," I said, pleading with him to let go of me.

"It's past curfew, and I don't think that it would do any good anyway. He's leaving in the morning to go home. Her heart is broken, and only time is going to make it better. It would have happened eventually. You did the right thing, it just didn't go so well. Just let her go tonight, things will look better in the morning. You two are too close; just let her cry tonight. Lily'll take care of her," he let go of my arm, and I turned and went back to my bed. I put the delicate bracelet on the windowsill by my bed. _What had I done?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**Moments in the Snow**

**Lily POV:**

I ended up staying in Anwen's room last night. One of her roommates chose to go home instead of staying for the ball, so I slept on her bed. I had left for a few minutes, once I was sure that she was asleep, to go and see James. They were all still awake, I could hear their hushed conversation from the hall. I gently knocked on the door and pushed it open.

"Lily, oh my Lily. How is she?" James came over to me and pulled me into a deep hug. I just wanted to melt into his embrace, but I knew that I couldn't leave her for that long.

"She's asleep right now. I haven't seen her like this since second year, but it is so much worse this time. Sirius, what did you do? I know that Matthew broke up with her, but I think that she is more upset with you right now," I turned my head to look at him. He looked awful. His face was red and blotchy and drawn. His hair was as mess, like he had been pulling at it.

"I was just trying to look out for her. You don't know the half of it." With that he rolled over, pulled the blankets up over his head and disappeared. I leaned back into James.

"Would it help if I talked with her?" The voice was coming form behind me, it was Remus, they had always had a special friendship. She had accepted his condition without any questions. _She had reacted better than I had, even if it didn't take me long to come around, she never questioned their friendship_, _and because of this, there was a deep affection between the two of them. _

"Maybe tomorrow. Right now, she's drained, she just needs to sleep. Try to rest, all of you; we have class tomorrow," I kissed James deeply, and then broke our embrace. I walked over to Sirius and put a hand on the lump in his bed, where I thought his shoulder was. "Sirius, she'll come around, be patient," when I looked up, I saw her bracelet on the windowsill. _How did that end up here? She never takes it off._

James had gotten back into bed and I went over and kissed him lightly again. "I love you, I'll see you in the morning, and if I need you, I'll send for you, goodnight," I whispered.

"Good night, my love. I love you too," he responded. I left the room, walked back across the common room and rose again to the fourth year dorm room. Thankfully Anwen was still asleep when I got back. I closed my eyes, and tried to rest, but sleep wouldn't come. I couldn't imagine life without Anwen, she'd changed all of us so much. All the Marauders would be lost without their little apprentice.

In the morning, the younger girls awoke me. _I forgot how young her roommates are. Do they have to be so loud?_ Anwen was sitting in her bed, looking out the window.

"Hey, how are you this morning?" I asked her, getting up off the bed I had slept on, and going to sit on hers. She said nothing, keeping her gaze on the world outside, her face was blank and hard. "Well, it's good to see you up. I'll go and get you some breakfast and then we can get on with our day," still nothing, no reaction, just nothing.

"The boys would like to see you. James, Remus, Peter and Sirius," there was nothing until I mentioned Sirius' name. Her eyes snapped to me, and she was momentarily filled with rage; then it was gone again. Her eyes were again looking out of the window, her face emotionless. I got up, and was walking toward the door. Katie was coming in from the shower, and I took her hand. "She's still quite bad this morning. Stay with her, I need to do something. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Corinne was going down to get some breakfast, I'll just have her bring some stuff back for all of us. Matthew's a jerk," she said, clearly upset about what had happened to her roommate.

"Yeah," I let go of her hand, and ran down the stairs. The boys were all in the common room waiting for me. "Did any of you sleep last night?" I asked them.

"I think we all got a few hours, maybe," Remus said, but nodded at Sirius, and shook his head 'no'. "How is she today?"

"Um, awake, I guess. I need to go see Professor Slughorn, she's supposed to take a potions test today, but I don't think I will get her out of bed," I explained, hoping that Remus and James would get my meaning. "Take him downstairs and get some breakfast into him, and then take him out of here," I requested, indicating Sirius, sitting, brooding on the sofa. "I'm sorry," I told my boyfriend and then kissed him quickly, and went out again.

It only took a few minutes, and I was back with Anwen. Professor Slughorn liked me, so it wasn't hard to persuade him to let her out of her class today; he let me out of my class as well and promised to explain to the rest of the staff that Winnie was sick, and I was staying with her. Turns out Anwen didn't need to take the exam anyway, even if she got a perfect score, it wouldn't have mattered, her grades were high enough that it wouldn't count. I went back upstairs, and she hadn't moved. Katie and Corinne were trying to get her to eat, but she hadn't touched anything. She really couldn't afford to loose any more weight. They soon left us, and I stretched out on her roommates bed, reading a Muggle novel from home.

I sat with her for hours, and nothing changed. She just looked out of the window. Finally, about mid afternoon, I went to go and shower. I took her dress and shoes with me. Every time she saw them, silent tears would start falling again.

Finally, after dinner, I made her get up, and dragged her in the shower, fully clothed. It was only when the cold water hit her, did she finally speak. "Why in all the chocolate covered pretzels did you do that?" she yelled at me.

"Because you have been like the walking dead all day. You've got us all freaked out, and worried," I yelled back, half soaked myself, but at least she was talking.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking. I didn't mean to upset all of you. I just wanted to think some things through for myself," her voice got very quiet "Lily, I can't even leave, I have no where to go. This stinks," she sat down on the floor of the shower, and I turned the water off and sat down next to her.

"I know. I'm sorry that he hurt you," I told her.

"Which he? The one that dumped me right before my first dance, or the one that made him do it?"

"Anwen, before you jump to any conclusions, you should talk with Sirius. He really loves you, and with everything that you have been through this year, I think he just wanted you to be cared for. He's always wanted to protect you, from the first day that he met you," I explained to her.

"I know, but I'm not eleven anymore, and I'm not as breakable as he thinks I am," she told me.

"Anwen, how much do you know about when you were in the hospital?" She shook her head, indicating not much. "He never left. He ran to the hospital. He ran through the streets to get to you, and never left until you did. We would bring him clothes, and he would change and do cleansing spells, but he wouldn't leave your side. He barely ate anything. He was so scared that you were going to die on him. It wasn't until you were back here, and things started to get better that he relaxed. Give him a break, please. You mean more to him than anything else in this world," I asked her. She nodded at me.

"I'll think about it. Right now, I'd like to get out of these wet clothes. Can you give help me up. I feel a little weak," she said, finally sounding like herself.

"Sure, probably because you haven't eaten anything. Let me go and change and we can get you something to eat. Come down to the common room when you are done. I will send those pesky Marauder's off to pillage you some dinner," I saw half a smile from her, _at least it's something._

"Lily, why doesn't anyone want me? Nobody has ever stuck around in my life," she asked me quietly, and I felt my heart break as she did.

**Sirius POV:**

Later, the night after the fight, we were sitting in the common room, by the fire. Remus and Peter were playing chess and James was servicing his broom and mine. I always let him do it, he kept it in better condition than I would anyway. I was reading Twelfth Night. It was of Winnie's favorites, and I could see why. There was a great deal of confusion and mistaken identity. It was quite humorous, but I couldn't seem to laugh at it tonight. _Viola is as stubborn as she is._ When Lily came downstairs, I was relieved that she had a small smile on her face.

"She's talking again, and she's hungry. Do you boys think you can put those powers of persuasion to work get her something to eat. She'll be down in a while," she explained. I felt like I could finally breathe.

"Sure. Padfoot, why don't you come with Wormtail and me," James said, putting aside the broom and kit and standing up. _No, I want to wait here and talk with her. _"I know you want to talk with her, but let's just let her relax a little before you bombard her with information," _when did he become a Legilimens?_ _Okay fine._

We left and went to the kitchens, when we got back, Anwen was sitting on the couch. Remus was next to her, and her back was curled up next to him. Lily was on the other end of the couch, near her feet. She was looking up at the ceiling.

"Look, they brought you some dinner. Anwen, have a little something, please," Lily said, handing her some bread. She took it, and absentmindedly picked at it. Never moving her eyes away from the ceiling. I went to move closer to her, but Lily flashed me a warning and shook her head. It hurt my insides to see her like this, but I listened. I sat down in the arm chair across the way instead. Never taking my eyes off of her. James came and sat at Lily's feet, and she silently rubbed Anwen's legs. Remus kept his arm on the back of the couch, able to touch her shoulder if she needed support. Tears were still running down her face, and occasionally I would hear her breath catch. All I wanted to do was pick her up and hold her tight, but I could tell it would just make things worse. When she was ready, she would talk to me. It took all of my strength to not to move, just to watch her. We stayed the night that way, none of us moving.

The next morning, James and Peter went to get some breakfast, while the rest of us kept our vigil. She ate a little more this time, and her color seemed to improve as she drank some tea. Later, she wanted to go upstairs to get herself dressed. We all took it as a good sign, and watched her walk upstairs. _Wait, is that my Quidditch shirt? How does she have that?_ I was hopeful that she was wearing it, maybe she wouldn't be mad at me forever.

"Guys," Lily said when Anwen was far enough up the stairs that she couldn't hear us. "This isn't just about Matthew breaking up with her."

"No, it's about me, being a bloody git," I answered her.

"It's not even that, Sirius," she added quietly. "This has to do with her her feeling like she was abandoned, again. She went so far as to tell me that she thinks no one wants her."

"That's not true," James jumped to our defense. "We all care about her. Heck, she's the sister that none of us have!"

"I know, but look at it from her perspective. Her parents signed away her guardianship to a stranger. She sings, but only because they want her voice. Who she is as a person isn't really important. This was the first time that she had someone who liked her for her."

"I know how she feels," Remus added quietly. Lily reached over and rubbed his shoulder.

"Look, we're all that she's got, the five of us and Eva. There has to be something that we can do to show her how much she means to all of us. She's already told me that she's scared that we'll forget her next year, when we all graduate and she's back her by herself."

"We'll do it, Lily. We will be her family. I'll owl Mum and Dad in the morning, we've got enough room at the manor, maybe she can have her own room at my house," James responded, but I got mad.

"Don't," I said sharply. "She lives with me. It's OUR flat and I will fix this so that she comes home with ME." I glared at my best friend, and he got my meaning. I got up and walked away from them, going over to peer out the window.

I was gazing out at the lawn of the school, when something moving caught my eye. It was a beautiful caramel colored falcon, gliding in the sky. It swooped low, gliding past the windows. I turned and ran out of the room, down the hall and out of the castle. Everyone was yelling at me as I tore from the tower.

The bird was still flying high above the same lawn and I walked over, standing in the snow beneath it. I watched as it soared and spun, and then headed towards an outcropping of trees not far. I followed it, and stared as it perched itself on a branch. I came and sat below where the bird was and looked up at it. It cocked it's head at me, but stayed on the branch. As I studied the bird, I realized that it had a long white stripe across the lower part of it's body.

We stayed there for a while, me sitting on the ground, the bird sitting in the tree, each looking at each other. I don't know how long we were there, but neither of us moved, until I sneezed. With that, the bird flew down and landed on the ground near my feet.

"You're out here without a coat. You'll get pneumonia and then I will have to nurse you back to health," Anwen said to me, sitting herself in the snow as well. Her affect was dull, but at least she was speaking.

"You don't have one either," I replied.

"No, but as a bird it doesn't make any difference. You know, you could have changed and sat here and watched me and at least stayed warm in all your dog fur," she chastised me. _ How does she always think of these things when I don't?_

"I didn't even think about it. Your scar shows when you change. You have a white stripe on your belly now," I explained to her, she nodded her head. I didn't know if that mean she knew or didn't know but it didn't matter. "I'm glad that you're talking to me again." She rolled her eyes at me.

"How did you know I left? I thought I was being so smart, flying out of my bedroom window," she explained.

"No one else saw your little fly by of the windows. Plus, I saw the squirrel run across the lawn, and if you were a real falcon, you would have tried to eat it," I replied. She gave a half of a smile at that.

"That's just gross," she said with her top lip curling a little. "Come on, let's get back inside before you freeze. At least change over now, we will be back so much faster that way."

Again, the beautiful Kestrel was at my feet. I quickly changed myself, and we took off for the castle doors. As we reached the steps, we both returned to human form. We walked in together, in silence. Anwen stopped when we reached the first floor.

"What is it?" I asked.

"The decorations. They weren't up yet when I was last here. It's so beautiful," I let her stand there for a moment, taking it in, but it was broken by another sneeze. "Come on, let's get you upstairs, and warmed up. Then I think that we need to talk," she said quietly.

The climb to the tower was silent, when we reached the common room, our friends were surprised to see Anwen come through the portrait with me. "I flew out the window," she said. James smiled and laughed a little at her.

"We've corrupted you. Good job," that comment garnered a smile from her as well. Together we walked up to my dorm room.

"Go shower and warm yourself up, and change your clothes. I'll wait here," she told me. I went and did as she asked as quick as I could. When I returned she was curled up on my bed, with my comforter wrapped around her. I sat on the other end of the bed. She had the charm bracelet in her hands, fingering the charms.

"Why did you talk with him?" she spoke quietly, not looking at me.

"Winnie, I wish I could say that I was sorry that I talked with him, but I'm not," her head shot up at that. "Look, I just didn't want to see you hurt, and it seemed like the best way to make sure that wouldn't happen," I tried to explain.

"But it did. I got hurt. I don't feel like I can trust you now," she was still looking away from me, quietly talking to the charms on her bracelet.

"Hey, before you go making any decisions about who to trust, can you listen to me for a second. I went to talk with Matthew, because I didn't trust him," I explained to her. She lifted her head and furrowed her brow.

"Why?"

"Winnie, are you sure that you want to know?" I wasn't sure she was ready to hear what I had to say.

"Why wouldn't I?" she finally looked up, puzzled.

"Because I am afraid that it will hurt you more," I replied. Her eyes were dark, and she looked confused.

"Tell me, please," she said very softly, and I knew that I couldn't deny her.

"I caught him snogging Kathleen Smithers in the potions lab the other day. When he saw me, he knew he was in trouble, and it took everything in me not to punch his lights out. I told him that he needed to come clean with you or he would have to deal with me, and James, and Remus, and Peter," I explained to her. The sadness on her face washed away as surprise and anger took over.

"That jerk! He was caught with another girl, and he tries to lay all of this on you. Unbelievable. No wonder he ran back home, he was convinced that he would be hexed into next week if he stayed here," Anwen threw her head back, and was laughing now. I couldn't help but join her, it felt good to laugh with her. "Well then, that changes things doesn't it," she said, once her laughter had died down.

"What do you mean?" I asked. The light had returned to her eyes, and she was smiling at me.

"Oh, when I thought that you had run him off, he deserved my pity and tears, but now, no. He will instead learn a little lesson about how you treat a girl. I haven't spent all of these years as the marauder's apprentice without picking up a thing or two," she said, with a wicked smile crossing her lips.

"What are you up to little one?" I smiled back at her.

"Not sure yet. And don't you dare call me little one," she said, waving her finger at me. "You should have come and told me about this first!" She was yelling at me again.

"I didn't want to hurt you," I told her, trying to take her hands.

"Um, no, you wanted to swoop in and protect me. I am capable of handling things on my own. You have to stop trying to fix everything. I am going to fall, I am going to get hurt, I am going to cry. However, I will get myself up and dust myself off and go on. I will ask you for help when I need it. I know that you are there, but I have to take care of myself too. You can't protect me from everything, Sirius. Especially not from growing up," she told me. _ I hate it when she's right._

"I know. I'm so sorry. I just..."

"I know," she let a deep breath out. "I forgive you for it."

That was all that I needed to hear, I scooped her up and put her in my lap and wrapped the blanket around us both. She leaned her head on my chest and felt her body relax. Everything seemed right with the world now that Winnie wasn't mad at me. "So what do you have in mind for young Mr. Matthew?"

"I'm not too sure, but, after having talked so many of your former girlfriends out of hexing you, I have plenty of ideas," she said, smiling.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Sirius, more than one of them were ready to kill you for your rather unceremonious dumping. It's quite a job to be your friend. There were loads fires to put out. I don't even know, have you been dating since Dodo, or whatever her name was? Should I be prepared for the next one?" _Wait, she smoothed things over when I broke up with each of those girls. When did she do this? How did I not know about it?_

"No. I'm finding them to be a little dull lately. Also, I needed to take care of you, and none of them really understood our relationship," I explained to her. 

"They're not the only ones," she mumbled, which me wonder if I could explain it properly.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I wouldn't have gotten better so quickly without you," she thanked me as she turned and kissed my cheek. "So, who are you taking to the ball?" she sighed, clearly not wanting to think about the dance.

"You," I answered quickly. I had never gotten around to asking a girl, and then when I saw Matthew kissing Kathleen, it didn't seem important.

"Oh, lovely, a mercy date. That's great. My first ball and the only date I can get is my best friend. Thanks, but no thanks. I think I will curl up by the fire and stay up here instead," she said, sounding very sad.

"Nonsense. I understand that you have a lovely dress that you look beautiful in," she turned to look at me. "Lily was telling James, and I share a room with him, so it's not like I can't hear what is being said. At least it was a conversation, you should hear some of the other things that I have to hear from the two of them," I shuttered at the thought and she laughed.

"I don't want to imagine!" she said between giggles, waving her hands in front of her.

"Anyway, as I was saying, and I would hate for you to miss the one and only time that I have ever know both Moony and Wormtail to have dates," I'll try tempting her.

"Wait, Peter has a date for the ball? Who would have ever agreed to go with him. He's afraid of girls, all of us, even Lily and I?" she was giggling again. Her tone got warm as she spoke. "I know, Remus and Eva are going together. They're perfect for each other, if he'd just relax a little and enjoy it."

We talked a little more about the ball, and what it would mean to be there together. Anwen was unconvinced.

"Sirius, half of the school already things that we're dating. We show up to the ball together, and the gossip will start all over," she complained.

"Let them gossip. There is nothing to tell, and it won't change anything with us," I tried to convince her. _Why would it bother her if people thought we were dating. I would love it, keep those stupid boys away from my little one._

"Sirius, I would like to date again in my lifetime. No boy will come anywhere near me if they think that you are my boyfriend," she whined. _ I hate when she does that, but at least she's catching on to my plan here._

"Good. None of the boys here are good enough for you anyway. Don't you think that running around in my Quidditch jersey would have the same results. Looks cute on you though," I teased her.

"Ha ha; thanks. It's your old one, and it was in my trunk when I finally got back to the dorms, so I decided to keep it. Your Puddlemere sweatshirt is mine now too. Sorry," she added with a shrug. _I'd give her my whole wardrobe if she wanted it. I liked that she was wearing my name on her back. Where the bloody hell did that come from?_

"Well, at least I finally got kissed. I was beginning to think that I wouldn't ever be, oh unless you count the guy at the theater, which I don't by the way. Those kisses do not count, since there was no emotion behind them, and all those people are watching, and the guy this summer perspired so badly, it was like kissing an armpit," she made the funniest face, and I had to laugh at her.

"Oh my Winnie, the boys will be lining up soon enough. You have no idea how beautiful you are. I will have to beat them off with a stick. When you are older, you will have your choice of good men, who love you for all the wonderful things that you are, and for your generous heart. So for right now, say you will let me take you to the dance? Please?"

"Well, my dress is beautiful, and I do look lovely in it, and Lily would be upset if I didn't go. Eva would be hurt, since she finally is dating Remus. We were all going to do our hair and make up together," she was trying to convince herself. I decided to stay quiet, and let her do all the work.

"Fine, I will go with you, but you have to treat me like a real date, not like your little china doll. Got it!" she stuck her finger out and me.

"Yes, yes Winnie. I will treat you with the utmost of respect," I promised her.

"Good," she responded and then blew out a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. I promised you that I wouldn't jump to conclusions without listening to you, and clearly, I didn't let you get two words in edgewise the other day. I was really hurt. I am sorry that I didn't give you a chance to tell me everything. Will you forgive me?" she begged again. _Didn't she understand that she never needs to beg me?_

"Oh Winnie, your heart was broken. All I wanted to do was make it stop, and you wouldn't let me. There is nothing to forgive." We sat there for a while, and it felt right to have Anwen resting in my arms.

"So, tell me about all of these break up stories. Where have I been going wrong?" I asked her. She lifted her eyebrows at me.

"How long do you have? It could take a while,"she mused. _Crap, this could be awful._

"That bad?" She nodded yes. "Well, I guess that I have all night."

We stayed there. It wasn't easy to hear about how she had smoothed things over with all of these girls, going back to our first year together, but it was illuminating. She told me why she knew it wouldn't last with each of them, I listened intently. _Maybe I should have her pick out my future girlfriends, maybe I will have more luck that way._ I am not sure when it happened, but we settled in and fell asleep at some point, eventually ending up with her curled against me, like she had slept after her surgery.

Days flew by quickly, and soon it was Christmas Eve, the night of the ball.

**Anwen POV:**

I was hesitant about the idea of going to the ball with Sirius, it seemed so sad somehow – couldn't get a real date, but I could get this guy in my life to take me – but the idea grew on me, and by the time the dance got here, I was excited. I spent all afternoon with Lily and Eva, doing our nails and getting the curlers in our hair. Eva had gone back to her house so that Remus could pick her up. She wanted everyone to see them together, and how proud she was of her date. I admired Eva for her determination. They didn't know that Remus was a werewolf, but everyone knew that he was quiet and intensely private. Guys wanted to date Eva, and she had chosen Remus over all of them.

I had helped Lily curl up her hair, and then weave ribbons through it, like I had done for Christmas last year. We put in beautiful red and yellow ones, and they looked perfect with her auburn hair. She did her make up and she looked like a princess. She told me that James wanted to meet her before the dance, that he had a surprise for her, so about half an hour before I was to meet Sirius downstairs, she went to meet James.

I returned to my hair. Since my dress was so flowing, I wanted my hair to do the same. I wove it around my head, putting small beads into it so that it glistened when the light hit it. It was similar to the style that I had when I was dancing in Sleeping Beauty a few years ago, very reminiscent of something from the renaissance period. The rest hung down my back in long curls. I felt like a fairy princess. I did my makeup, the Muggle way, making my eyes look bigger and brighter _stage makeup is such a wonderful thing to know how to do. _ Finally, I put on my dress and shoes, put on the special necklace, my pearl earrings and my charm bracelet. I was ready. I walked down the stairs to meet Sirius. He was dashing in his dark blue dress robes.

"You have never looked more beautiful, Winnie. No one is going to be able to keep their eyes off of you," he said when I reached the common room. I smiled at him, and then looked down at the floor, feeling myself blush. Several of the girls were there, and they all looked at me and smiled when I came down. A few of the boys mouths hung open as well. _Okay, good to know that I clean up well._

"Shall we be off? I understand that James has something planned downstairs, and I think you will want to be there to see it. Peter and his date as well as Remus and Eva." I took his arm and he was so kind as he held the portrait open for me.

"Do you know what he has planned? Lily seemed at a loss when she left," I confided in him.

"I do, but I can't say any more. Believe me, you will find it wonderful. Come on now, you don't want to be late," he put his hand on my back, and was surprised to find it bare. "Winnie love, where is the rest of your dress? It's winter, you should be more covered up," he was chastising me.

"Sirius, my back is fine, the dress is constructed so that the back can be bare. I will be fine, and if I get cold, I will just need to find someone to warm me up," I said, with a wink.

"No one will be warming you up except for me!" He barked at me. "You are too lovely for your own good," he smiled and I blushed back. _Yeah! I look lovely! _My insides did a little happy dance.

We walked down the stairs, and just outside of the Great Hall we found all of our friends. Poor Peter, he looked as if he would implode as he stood there, holding his dates arm. She was a sweet girl, younger than me, but she looked at him with warm eyes. Remus and Eva were beaming at each other, which made me giggle. Sirius jabbed me in the ribs to get me to stop.

"Anwen, you are breathtaking. Sirius said that you looked lovely when you danced, and if that dress is any indication, then he was selling you quite short," Remus said to me.

"You are quite grown up, Anwen," Eva complimented me. "Someone looks quite proud of his date," she added looking at Sirius. I glared at her for the comment. She just stifled a giggle.

"Eva, I'd appreciate your keeping your nose out of things you know nothing about," I tried to reprimand her, but I couldn't. We were both soon giggling. "You look beautiful as well."

"Thank you, I do, and I have the best looking date here."

"I beg to differ."

We both laughed, which caused our dates to laugh as well. I looked at Lily, she had her arms around James, and he her, and they were staring deeply into the other's eyes. He was stroking her face. She didn't even look up when we got there. I cleared my throat. Nothing. I tipped my head at them and Eva shrugged while the guys looked smug.

"Hey Lily, hello," I called to her. Finally, she broke eye contact with James and looked at me. Her whole face was lit up. "What?" was all that I could get out, before her hand flew out towards me. On her fourth finger was the most stunning diamond and sapphire ring that I had ever seen. I looked at her, and she nodded and I let go of Sirius and ran to hug her. Eva did the same and the three of us were hugging and jumping.

"Oh Lily, I am so happy for you. Let me see it, my gosh it's beautiful, oh.." I hugged her again.

"You did very very well James," I complemented him as I hugged him as well. I almost knocked him over with my enthusiasm. Then I hugged Lily again.

"You have to tell me everything," Eva begged and we linked arms and started walking in to the ball together. I heard James yell at us to give him back his fiancée, but we kept on walking. _He can have her in a few minutes, right now we need details._ We found an empty table, and we were soon surrounded by our friends. She told me about the proposal, and I had tears in my eyes. I was so happy for them.

The dancing was wonderful. Sirius knew how to do proper dances, and he spun me around the floor wonderfully. "My mother made me take lessons," he grumbled at me.

"Well I am glad that she did, I am having a delightful time, since I have the best partner on the floor."

After hours of dancing, I was beginning to tire, and chose to sit down for a few moments. He came and sat next to me, putting his arm around the back of my chair. When we sat, a boy that I didn't know came to ask me to dance. I turned him down, and leaned into Sirius. Then another, and another. After a few minutes it was getting annoying. I asked Sirius what time it was, he pulled out the watch that I had given him, and I smiled.

"It's nearly midnight. Why are you smiling?" he asked me.

"Because you have the watch I gave you," I explained. I wasn't sure if he really liked it or not.

"Winnie, I always have it with me. I like the way it makes me feel warm. When I put it away for the night, I feel colder," he confided in me. He'd never told me this.

"That's because it has a spell on it, or at least that is what the old woman who sold it to me said," I tried to explain to him.

"Wait, why haven't I ever heard this before?" he said, turning himself to look at me.

"Because I thought it was just a story. She says that when this particular watch is given between two people who are truly in love with one another, deep abiding love, that it creates a warmth that can be felt by the person who holds it. I guess she was right, if you can feel when it isn't on you. So, I guess you do love me, in some way," I said quietly, not really looking at him. This conversation was suddenly making me very uncomfortable, and I didn't know why.

"Winnie, you amaze me, and I do love you, deeply," he whispered as he rubbed my shoulders.

"It's almost midnight, almost Christmas. Will you come outside with me. There is something that I want to do." I needed to get out of here, away from this place, right now.

"Sure, but you'll catch your death out in the cold. Here, put this on, your barely dressed there," he slid his coat off, and slipped it on me. It was huge, but I did feel warmer in it.

He took my hand, and lead me out of the room, and we walked outside. Several couples had come outside for more privacy, but we walked by them and walked out down the path a ways. We were near the spot where he had welcomed me home my first year, when I returned from Australia. The stars were beautiful and bright. We stood there in silence for a moment, and then I began to sing quietly. I sang my favorite carol, "In the Bleak Midwinter". It was refreshing to sing because I wanted to, to sing for someone who really appreciated it, and to sing something that I chose.

We stood there quietly for a moment, and then Sirius lifted me into a hug. "Thank you. That was beautiful. This has been a perfect night, the perfect beginning to Christmas. I love you Winnie,"

"I love you too," I said, returning the light nature of the way he had said it. "Thank you for making me come tonight, it has been wonderful. You have been the perfect date," I released him, and he gently set my feet back down on the ground, but he didn't let go of me. His arms continued to wrapped around me, his hands resting on my lower back.

I smiled up at him, then he surprised me. He looked at me hard, staring at my face, with such deep devotion, had it been anyone else, I would have needed to turn away from the power of his gaze. I didn't break away, I couldn't. In his eyes, I saw everything. How happy he was for me when I was asked to join the theater company, his pride in me on opening night, his fear and anguish at my being sick and his sadness that my heart had been broken. I rested my hands on his shoulders to steady myself. The power of his gaze was too much to take. I was finding it hard to breathe.

Slowly, one of his hands moved up my back and came to rest on my face. The backs of his fingers caressed my cheek and then he leaned in, closing his eyes and when his face was only a hair away from mine, I did the same.

Then he kissed me.

It was soft and sweet, and I could feel his beard tickle my face. His lips were so soft as they moved against mine, and my entire body felt like it was tingling. There were butterflies in my stomach and wherever our skin met, it felt like I was on fire. When he pulled away, I looked at him, breathless. Neither of us said anything for a moment. I never had a kiss that felt like that, not that I had a whole lot of experience, but it was still...it was amazing.

"Why did you do that?" I mumbled at him, not releasing from his embrace, but needing some explanation. The words just tumbled out of me, and after I said them, I wished that I could take them back.

"It felt right, it seemed like the way to end the perfect date," he told me as he leaned in again. I was torn by wanting to let him do it again, and running away. I turned my face slightly so that he got my cheek instead.

"It was...," I didn't have a word. "...but Sirius, I don't know that we should do that again. It could really mess things up with us, and I don't ..."

"Shh." He put his fingers to my mouth. "Don't think so much Winnie. It was a kiss, to end a perfect night," the look in his eyes had changed, and I wasn't sure that I liked what I was seeing now.

"One kiss, nothing more. Nothing has changed. Come on, let's get inside. It's cold out here," _If nothing has changed then why can't I feel my feet touching the ground. Shake yourself loose there girl, this is your best friend, and it was one kiss. Get over it. _

He released me from his hold, and took my hand and lead me back inside. He removed his jacket from around me, and lead me back to the ballroom. The band was playing a slow waltz, and he took my arms in the perfect hold and began to lead me around the dance floor. My head was still in the clouds though, there was just too much to take in. We were the last ones to leave the floor that night. We stayed awake all night in front of the fire, talking with Lily and James about wedding plans, sharing in some Elderflower Wine that Lily had in her trunk. Peter and his date were somewhere, but after the dance we couldn't find them. It was strange to think of Peter in a broom closet.

That left the six of us. James and Lily were in the large overstuffed chair, snuggled close together. Eva and Remus were across the way, on the short couch next to the fireplace. He had his arm draped over the back, and then curled around Eva's shoulders. She was relaxing into him, very comfortable. When they didn't think anyone was watching, he would kiss her temple or his cheek; she would kiss him on the lips. They were cute with each other.

Sirius and I were on "our" sofa. When we'd arrived he pulled me into his lap, like so many times before, but it felt different tonight. As the other couples got closer and closer to each other, I started feeling smothered. I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind and how I desperately wished I could go back in time, and not stopped him from kissing me again. I couldn't figure out why this meant so much to me, why it was that I was thinking about it.

I finally slid from his lap and excused myself to go and change out of my dress. I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and instinctively reached for his Quidditch jersey. I held it between my hands and couldn't decide if I should put it on or not. I sat down on my bed, staring at his name, and remembering him telling me that he liked having his name on my back. After everything that happened tonight, I wasn't sure what it meant.

I relented and threw the jersey on, and sighed when I realized that it smelled like him. I put my head in my hands and groaned.

I just figured out that I had a crush on my best friend.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

**Reckless**

**Sirius POV:**

The days after Christmas were some of the most relaxed that we ever had. No one was thinking about revisions, or what would happen when school was done in the spring. Lily and James had to do some sort of work while they were here, as Head Boy and Girl, Moony helped them as a Prefect. _I usually forget that they were all so responsible_, but even with that, they were relaxed and enjoying the relative calm of the castle. Nearly everyone had gone home after the ball, we all chose to stay here. Winnie and I were in the common room one afternoon, doing nothing in particular. Anwen was in my old sweatshirt, her pajama pants and a pair of my woolen socks, spinning and sliding on the floor. She was laughing brightly as she would take off across the floor and slide into the furniture, then turn and spin and leap across the floor. I hadn't seen her dance since she was ill, and it was good to see her laughing. That was until she stopped short, and put her hand to her side.

"Ow," she grimaced in pain, leaning against the back of the couch I was sitting on.

"Are you all right?" I asked concerned. I reached up and put my hand on her arm.

"Yeah, Dr. Evans warned me that I would have some tightness when I started dancing again. He said the scar tissue won't bend and give the same as the rest of me, and that it would be uncomfortable. He didn't tell me that it would be so painful however," she was rubbing her side again.

"Maybe you should sit down," I told her. I didn't like the thought that she could get hurt from goofing around.

"No, maybe I should just stretch better. Anyway, floor skating is far too much fun. Come on, take off your shoes and join me," she pleaded, her hand now on mine, smiling at me.

"I don't think so Winnie," I would never be able to keep up with her.

"The great Sirius Black is too cool to have fun. How dreadful for you," she said, sighing afterwards. "Suit yourself. When you are all old and gray and you've forgotten how to have fun, I will remind you that it all started because you wouldn't take off your shoes and floor skate with me," I rolled my eyes, and went back to reading the Daily Prophet. There were stories of strange disappearances and killings all over the paper, and it didn't seem that the Ministry was doing anything about it. The war was growing, and in a few months, we would no longer be safe within Hogwarts. _At least Winnie will still be here, out of harms way._ I shook my head, and went back to reading.

**Anwen POV:**

We were eating supper together, all six of us, the night before classes would resume. I spent my afternoon with Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore. Turns out, that I was moving through my studies faster than anyone had predicted, and now, halfway through my fourth year, I was ready to begin on sixth year work. My weakest classes, Potions and Defense, were even far above average. After talking about it, we decided that I would move to all fifth year classes, and prepare to take my OWL's in the spring. The only exception was in History of Magic, since my schedule was so full I couldn't fit it in, due to conflicts. I could choose to attend my fourth year class, or I could study on my own. _That class is so dull, I would do better to sit and read on my own instead of waste my time sitting listening to Professor Binns._ I was telling everyone at dinner about my choices.

"So, you are sitting for your OWL's this year?" Remus asked me. "Are you nervous?"

"Not really. I mean, if I really mess up and do poorly, they will let me retake them with my classmates next year, but honestly, I was looking at the topics that are usually covered, and I am confident in most of them. Potions will be a bit of a struggle, but maybe I could get the star seventh years to help me?" I asked, batting my eyes at James and Lily, smiling hopefully.

"Of course we'll help you," Lily said, smiling at me.

"You know, if you really want help, you should ask Snivelus to help you," James said mockingly. I curled my nose up at that idea.

"Right, that's likely to happen. He still hates me after what happened a few years ago. Oh look, he's made a friend," I said sarcastically, nodding my head over at the Slytherin table. Sirius raised his head to look over. Severus Snape was deep in conversation with Regulus Black. "That's a delightful duo. Other than hatred of all of us, what do they have in common?"

"Oh lets see, a dislike of everyone not pure blood, and some other stupid ideas. Oh, and a love of the dark arts. Some of the things I hear about my little brother make my skin crawl. Mum must be thrilled though, he's everything she ever wanted," Sirius made a disgusted sound. "I don't like it though. They could be real trouble together. Winnie stay away from them," he said, with warning in his voice.

"Yes, because I was going to go over and ask them if they would like to snog me silly," I slapped his shoulder. "Sirius, I know enough not to go and hang out with them. Honestly, I am not six," _I know I sounded exasperated, but honestly, his whole overprotective thing was getting to me._

"Anyway, are there other classes that you are worried about?" Lily asked me, changing the subject.

"Um, not all of DADA, just Defensive Theory. I mean, I do the spells fine, but I don't really think when I am doing it, and then when I have to explain it, I seem to forget things, but if I study, I should be fine. Missed the whole chapter on werewolves though. Will probably flunk that part on the exam," I said completely straight faced. Remus looked at me and raised and eyebrow, and I laughed.

"Yes, you'll struggle with that as much as theory of Animagus transformations," he deadpanned back. I nodded my head at the subtle joke and smiled.

Everyone fell into a comfortable conversation, except for Sirius. He kept looking over at his brother and Snape, deep in thought. _I agree with him, that is really odd. I wonder what is really going on. _I grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a little squeeze. He smiled gently at me. _We understood each other, his concerns were mine too._

Whatever had happened the night of the ball was over as quickly as it had started. Sirius never attempted to kiss me again, of which I was both saddened and relieved. I wasn't sure what I would have done if the opportunity had availed itself. The biggest change, Sirius was kissing every other girl that he could find. He went through them like parchment. Only Lily and Eva knew that it bothered me, but I hadn't ever told them why. They just thought that it made more work for me, which it did. I wasn't an owl, and I stopped carrying his love notes.

My studies were harder than I had anticipated, but it was satisfying to be challenged. I missed seeing Katie and Corinne and the other girls in class, but I made sure to eat my noon meal with them every day. Most nights I dashed in to eat dinner, and then ran to the library to study. Regularly, James, Lily or Remus would join me, studying themselves, and acting as a reference library when I came across something that I didn't understand. Sirius hated the library, and would wait for me in the common room, knowing I would bombard him with questions when I got there. Our Friday nights had become study sessions for me, _all night study sessions with large amounts of pilfered food and frequent breaks for nighttime castle tours, but study sessions nonetheless._ A new charm of a couple dancing was added to my bracelet, a reminder of that magical night. _Sometimes I found myself daydreaming about kissing Sirius, and wondered if it would ever happen again. _

One night, Lily and I were alone studying in the Library. It was about three months after James had asked her to marry him, and they had recently set a date for early July to be wed. We were discussing wedding plans, Sirius would stand up for James and Lily had asked her sister Petunia to stand with her. Petunia was still thinking about it. _Idiot sister, how can you not love Lily?_ We were both working on some charms work, when Severus Snape came up to talk with her. He looked worse than I remembered. His face was drawn and white, and he looked like he had stopped bathing altogether. The effect was to make him look creepy and disgusting. He cleared his throat to attract Lily's attention, ignoring me, which suited me fine. I didn't lift my head, but Lily and I made eye contact.

"May I sit down?" he asked her.

"No. I don't have anything to say to you Severus. I believe that you made your opinions well known. There isn't anything that I can do for you now. Goodbye," Lily said, not making eye contact with him.

"Where is that foul mouthed, good for nothing you intend to marry?" he spat at her.

"He is out for the night," she said coolly. It was a night of a full moon, and all were with Remus as he changed. It was raining tonight, so they would make sure Remus was safely away in the small house in Hogsmeade, and then take turns sitting with him as the night went on. I would fly over in the morning, and take the first shift with him, and then when he was back to the dorm, Lily would nurse him. Eva would work with him on any school work that he missed. I really thought that it was just a ruse for them to snog. We had found a pattern and rhythm for his monthly changes that worked for everyone. _I won't be able to help once they leave school this summer. Don't think about it Anwen, it will all work out._

"He and his no good friends causing mischief again? What do you see in him?" he asked sitting down without being invited to do so. Lily scooted her chair away from him.

"I'm not discussing this with you. Now please leave, I have to study," she said curtly. He was getting angry.

"Lily, just consider what you are doing. He's no good for you. How is he going to care and support you? He's a just a trouble maker, him and his worthless friends," I could see that he was getting to Lily, her eyes were filling with tears.

"You are making the lady uncomfortable. She has expressed her views, and asked you to leave. Please do so," I said as politely as I could. His head snapped to look at me.

"What would you know about it? Be thankful that you have a few more years here at this school. As long as you're here, Dumbledore will keep you safe. However, once you've graduated, you should watch your back. The Wizarding world will be better without your kind around," I was reeling at what he just said. _Was that a threat?_ I was getting very angry.

"I'd watch your tongue if I were you. Wouldn't want to end up on the floor again," I said to him, as cool and calmly as I could. He pulled his wand and pointed it at me.

"Little girl, there are big plans for you and for your kind. You have made some powerful enemies. None of you will be safe," his eyes were glaring at me. _That was most definitely a threat._

"You do know that means me too. Are you going to kill us all off? Anwen and I are the same in that respect. Kill off the mudbloods, that means killing me off too," Lily spat back at him. Her wand was held tightly in her hand, and my wand was in my hand beneath the table. _ I don't think that this will end well. I wish one of the boys were here, or a professor or someone. I don't like the way that he is looking at us._

"Lily, if you marry me, I can keep you safe. You don't have to suffer the same fate as this..." he took her free hand, and held it. She looked at it, as if it were on fire.

"I would never marry you!" she screamed, yanking her hand away. "Who are you? What happened to the boy that I knew growing up?" Lily was in tears now, somehow, I had kept from crying, but I was shaking so. _God, please send us some help. Please._ I silently prayed.

"Lily, maybe you and I should be going now. We can study some more in the tower," I went to stand, but Severus was holding Lily down.

"You can go, Lily will be staying with me," he snapped at me. Lily looked so frightened. I wouldn't leave her. She shook her head at me, trying to get me to leave, but I wouldn't abandon her.

"That's okay, maybe we can all study together," I sat back down, looking at my book, but not really reading.

"Ah, there you are, I've been looking all over ..." _Never in my life have I been happier to hear that stupid, overprotective voice._ Sirius turned the corner and was walking down between the aisles of books towards us. I looked up at him, my eyes must have been filled with fear, because I saw him reach for his wand. "What are you doing here Snivelus? I am sure they didn't ask you to study with them," he spat at Severus. The Slytherin let go of Lily and pointed his wand at Sirius. They were each standing at opposite sides of the table, glaring at each other, wands drawn. "Lily and Anwen, get your things and get out of her. I'll find you in the common room when I'm done here," neither of us moved. "Go!" he roared at me. I had never heard him scream like that, the tears that I had worked so hard to hold back thus far, began spilling over, and I grabbed my things and stuffed them in my bag. Lily did the same, and we grabbed each other and walked from the library as fast as we could. Once we were in the hall, we looked at each other.

"Should we stay here, see what happens?" I asked her.

"No, let's get upstairs, Severus won't be able to follow us there. Come on, Sirius will take care of him," she took my arm again, and we walked to the tower, and through the portrait hole. We sat down on a love seat, on the far side of the room, and watched for the portrait to swing open, revealing Sirius. It seemed to take forever for that to happen. I had forgotten my studies, didn't care right now, the events of the night were wreaking havoc with me, and I was trying to calm myself._ He had threatened me. I knew that there were crazy people out there, but Sirius swore it wasn't something that would affect me while I was at school. Maybe he was wrong. _Lily was staring off into the distance. _I can't imagine how she must be feeling. They were friends when they were kids, and now, he's talking about killing off witches and wizards like us. _I reached over for her hand.

"Lily, I'm so sorry about all of this," I said to her.

"So am I. I had hoped that the rumors weren't true, but it looks like they are. I think he's become a Death Eater," she said, in the quietest voice. _How could he want to follow...I can't even think the name? How can you hate someone for who they were born too?_

"I think you're right," I didn't know what else to say. _ Wait, if he's one, does that mean that Regulus is? What would that do to Sirius? No matter what, he is still his brother._ We sat there in silence, holding hands, waiting for the portrait door to open.

When it finally did, I breathed a sigh, until I really got a good look at Sirius. His clothes were untucked and askew and his hair was a mess. There was a cut on his lip, and it looked like he was going to have black eye. His knuckles on his right hand were a mess as well. I got up and ran across the room. "Thank you for showing up," I started crying again, and put my arms around him.

"Hey, Winnie, it's okay. Shh, don't cry. Lily are you all right?" he asked over my shoulder.

"Yeah. Just shaken up. He really is one of them, isn't he?" she asked, rising to come over to us. I was glad the common room was mostly empty at this point. We sat down by the fire.

"It looks that way. What happened exactly?" he asked. I had started to heal his bumps and bruises with my wand. _ I am getting way too good at healing spells, between Remus, my feet and his recklessness, I was always healing something._

Lily told him about everything that had happened, when she told him about Snape's threats, Sirius leaned over and kissed my head, his kindness made another tear fall from my eyes.

"Nothing is ever going to happen to you. I'll make sure of it," he said, looking me square in the face. "Well, I really don't feel bad about what is about to happen to him now," Sirius said, almost throwing the comment away.

"What do you mean?" Lily questioned him, she looked at him, fearful of what he might say.

"I mean, Severus Snape is about to get what he deserves, and meet up with a rather nasty creature of the night," Sirius looked at us, with a glint in his eyes. _What was he talking about? What had he done? What creature? Oh no, Remus was out there tonight._ My breathing quickened when I realized what was happening. I looked at Lily, she hadn't figured it out yet.

"What have you done, Sirius?" I asked him, the horror fully dawning on me. _Please don't say it, please don't say it._

"I let it slip how to disable the Whomping Willow, and that it would reveal a secret passage that would let him know all of Hogwarts deepest secrets," he said, smugly.

"Sirius, what have you done? He'll be killed. You have no right!" I stood up, speaking in hushed tones, but obviously upset. I stared at him. "We've got to fix this. Is James with Remus?" Lily nodded her head, as did Sirius. Poor Lily looked like she was in shock. He started to say something. I put my hand up to him, "I wouldn't if I were you right now. I know you may not like him, neither do I, but it's wrong, in so many ways. Maybe if I can get to James, he can stop this from happening. Damn, there are people here, I am going to go find a window and fly over there. You had better pray that I get there before anything happens, because if not, the blood will be on your hands. Did you even think about the consequences, how Remus would feel?" I shook my head at him. I went to go leave. He got up.

"Don't follow me. Stay with Lily. I don't want her going into shock. I'll talk with you later," I ran out of the room, and up the stairs. The first dorm room that I came to was empty, I opened the window, changed myself and took off. I have never flown so fast. It took little time to get there, since I didn't have follow any path. _Now I understand what it means when people say 'as the crow flies', except in this case, it's how the Kestrel flies._ I landed on the window of the shrieking shack, and peered in. On the floor was the werewolf, panting quietly, apparently asleep with a large deer standing over him. A small rat was running around the room. It was a truly strange sight. I flew in, and landed in the deers antlers, perching myself there for a moment, and then flying in front of it's face. Once I was sure that I had his attention, I flew out of the large window. Thankfully, the deer followed me, gracefully landing on the ground and we both switched back.

"Anwen, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here until morning!" James asked me.

"I know, but Sirius has told Severus Snape where the tunnel is, and how to get into the Shrieking Shack. He's trying to get in there tonight," I told him back.

"What the fuck is he thinking? Remus is changed in there. He could rip him limb from limb," James said, his mind realizing what could happen.

"I know, that's why I came. You have to stop him. Go now. I will stay with Peter. Remus seems to be asleep right now, we should be all right," I said, still not sure what I would do if Remus had awoken. It wouldn't take much for a werewolf to tear a little bird to shreds.

"I'll go and stop Snape," he spat the word out. "Stay with Wormy. If Moony wakes up, peck him in the face to keep him here, don't let him leave. I hope we can all get through tonight in one piece. Anwen, is Lily all right?" he asked, realizing that there was a whole other problem that started this one.

"Um, she's a little shaken up, but she'll be okay. She can tell you the whole story," I told him, we didn't have time now.

"Okay, I am going to see her once I'm sure that Snape is safe. Of all the god awful people to have to save. I'll be back when I can," he looked disgusted, not at helping someone, but at helping the boy who had threatened his fiancée.

He changed and took off in a full gallop. I changed again, and went and perched myself on the windowsill of the shack. I could see over the trees, and well as into the window this way. I don't know how long we were there, but I watched the rain fall and make soft puddles on the ground below. After a great while, I saw the majestic stag break free from the forest and gallop towards the small house. I flew down to see him.

"Did you stop him?" I asked James, who was getting wet from all the rain.

"Yes, I got to him before he could get too far into the tunnel. Snape is back in his dorm, but he's angry. I don't think he will leave any of us alone now. Well, except for me, since he now owes me a life debt," he laughed a little. "Of all the people to have indebted to you, he's not the person that I would have chose," he said sounding a little sick at the thought. "I saw Lily and Sirius. Lily is still quite shaken, will you go see her? She was in the common room when I left," he explained.

"Sure, I'll see you after dawn. Do you want me to send Sirius over in a few hours, so you can get some rest?" I asked him.

"No. I don't think that it would be good if we saw each other again tonight. He's going to need time to heal himself anyway," _great, James and Sirius had fought too. This was turning into a banner night all around._

"Good night James, good job tonight; you're a good man," I put my hand on his shoulder, and we both changed back. He took a few steps and flew into a first floor window and I could hear his hooves on the stairs inside. I changed and flew back to the school. I knocked on a common room window, and Lily came over and let me in. Thankfully the room was empty. She looked numb, I hugged her tightly. "I'll be right back," I told her. I ran upstairs, quickly grabbed something from my trunk and came right back down.

"Here drink this, I think it will help." I had grabbed a butterbeer that I had put away after our New Year's Party. I put a spell on them that chilled it quickly and handed it to her. We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, she seemed to be calming down. Her color seemed to be getting better, and she didn't seem so tense.

"Lily, go upstairs, and try to get some sleep. Things will look better by the light of morning, I promise," she nodded her head and rose.

"Are you going to bed too?" she asked me.

"Not yet, from what James said, I think I need to go up and clean Sirius up. I'm surprised that he didn't rip him apart up there," the sadness of Sirius' actions was finally really dawning on me, and my disappointment was growing. _What in the world was he thinking? Was he even going to make it to the end of the school year now, when all of this made it out, or would he be expelled?_

"This isn't the first time they have come to blows, and knowing those two, it won't be the last. Goodnight Anwen, thanks for everything tonight. Get some sleep too," she said, hugging me, and then taking off for the stairs. I stayed downstairs for a while longer, thinking, and then made my way upstairs. I knocked lightly and let myself in. He would be the only one in the room tonight.

"Hey. How has your night been?" I asked as I walked in. The room was dark and he was sitting on his bed.

"Bloody great. Yours?" he replied sarcastically.

"Well, I was threatened by a wizard obsessed with dark arts and stupid ideas, my best friend then proceeded to beat him up and try to get him killed. I had to fly to Hogsmeade and back and babysit a werewolf and a rat. Then I got to knock on a window with my beak, which hurts quite a bit by the way. Not to mention calm down my best girlfriend. All in all a rather dull night," I said sitting down on James' bed, looking at him.

"Sorry I couldn't make it more interesting for you," he quipped.

"Oh Sirius, what am I going to do with you? What were you thinking?" he shrugged. We sat in silence for a while.

"Do you want me to clean you up, or do you need to go to hospital?" I finally asked.

"It's not that bad. You can do it. I don't think anything is broken this time, although, I think a finger is out of joint. Are you sure you want to? Wouldn't you like me to suffer a little more?" he asked me.

"Sirius, your physical suffering is nothing compared to what you are doing to yourself inside of your head. You have to live with your stupidity, and my disappointment. I am sure that is far worse than feeling a few bumps and bruises. Let me see," I slid off of James bed and went to sit with him. His hand was still a mess from his fight with Severus, and his black eye had only started to heal when James had apparently hit him again. There was a huge black and blue mark on his cheek and a small cut under his eye. "You're sure that you are friends with James right, because I would hate to see how someone he doesn't like would fare," I started healing him as best as I could, and we stayed silent. At some point in the glow of my wand, I could feel warm tears hitting my hands as I worked. There was nothing that I could say, I just finished my work, and cradled his head in my arms.

"Forgive me," he whispered.

"I'm not the one that you almost killed. You'll have to deal with that yourself; and you will have to apologize to Remus too. I doubt that his secret will be safe for long now. He would have been devastated if he had actually hurt someone, even Severus Snape. He wouldn't wish his curse on anyone, you have to know that. I can't forgive for those things," I said quietly. We sat there again in silence.

"Do you hate me?" he uttered silently, almost afraid of my response.

"No. I don't think that I could hate you if I tried. However, I am sad that you thought this was the best way to handle it. Sirius, you have to stop making such rash decisions. One day, things are not going to work out so well. No one was hurt tonight, thank God, now, just rest," the night wore on. He finally fell asleep, me holding him the way the held me after my surgery this summer. I wasn't sure what to think or do anymore, but I was never so happy to see the sun rise.

To call the next few weeks strained would be an understatement of the grandest sort. James was still seething at Sirius for everything that had happened. Remus was more hurt than anything; he couldn't believe that one of his friends would betray his confidences in that way. Sirius felt alone in all of this, as much as I loved him, I couldn't approve of what he had done, and the near disaster that it created. James was right, and Remus was in pain. Sirius would have to rebuild all of his bridges, and I helped where I could, but it was his work to do.

Snape, well he was another matter altogether. He didn't report the incident, which was surprising in and of itself, but James was sure that he didn't want anyone knowing that James had saved his life. He did however, let some little rumors start, and soon, much of Remus' secret was prime gossip at school. Everyone distanced themselves from him, everyone but us. It hurt so much to see the pain that he was in, and I did what little I could to ease it, even if it just meant walking in the halls with him, holding my head high.

Mr. Meriwether came for another visit, much to my great delight. He told me that I would be welcomed back to the theater company this summer. I was thrilled and looked forward to the season with great joy. I told him that I needed to look into my housing, but I would contact him when I was sure. Rehearsals would start the day after I would be returning to London after the end of year ceremonies. The season would be done two weeks before I would have to report back to school. _School that I would be coming back to alone. That thought alone makes my heart break. _ The meeting went faster than it had the previous year, and I told him that I would indeed be returning to take voice and dance this summer as well. He assured me that we could work around my class schedule if needed, since the classes would strengthen my performance on stage. I thanked him for all of his help, and excused myself from the headmaster's office.

I felt completely different this year. I was happy, but not joyful. There were still too many unsettled things in my life, and there was no one to share it with. _That's it, this has to stop, and it has to stop now. _ I knew where Sirius was spending his time, and I took off for his hiding place. As I cleared the castle, I started running. I wasn't sure if I was running away from something, or running towards it, but I needed to get there fast.

He was sitting at the edge of the lake. I stopped short of him, and walked the last few steps until I was standing right in front of him. I sat down, so that our knees were touching as we sat. _Criss Cross, Applesauce, like my preschool teacher used to say. Why I am thinking about that now. I mentally shook the image free._

"Hi," I said. "I was looking for you. I figured you were here," I said, in a quiet voice.

"Smart girl. What's up?" he said, not really looking at me, still looking at the water in the lake. The spring had begun to warm, and it was as still as a sheet of glass today.

"Mr. Meriwether was here today. They've asked me back for the summer," I said, sounding hopeful. His eyes met mine, and I saw a smile on his face.

"That is wonderful Winnie. I'm very proud of you," he said, then his eyes returned to the lake.

"Yes, you seem it. Do I need to find somewhere to live while I am in London?" I asked. When I posed the question, his head snapped toward me.

"Why? Don't you want to live with me anymore?" he asked, obviously hurt.

"Sirius, of course I want to. You are the only family I have, and that is OUR home, but given your current mood, I figured you might be taking up residence with Moaning Myrtle, since you are giving her a run as the most morose being on campus," I said, trying to laugh a little at him.

"You don't understand, Winnie. They all hate me," he said.

"No, they don't hate you. Look, enough is enough. You have to make amens with this, and move on. Fix your friendships, and get on with it. You were dumb and reckless, but nothing really happened. Listen to them, let them get it all out, and then move forward," I said, my voice remaining calm.

"You don't get it. I don't even think that I can be friends with them," he said, still not looking at my eyes. "They don't want me to be,"

"You have to be the stupidest bloody git at school right now. You honestly think that this is enough to dissolve your friendships. How dumb do you take me for? Yes, you were reckless, but shockingly, that's why they are friends with you," I tried to explain to him, but he didn't get it. "You know, one of the first times that I really talked with Remus, when you and James took me flying that very first time, he told me that it was because you two were reckless that he could be friends with you," I explained, still looking at him without him looking at me.

"Anwen..." He finally looked up, the sadness in his face was palpable.

"Don't. Don't even ask me to join your little pity party here, because I have had enough of it. I'm tired of waiting for you to decide that it's all right for you to, well, be yourself. Sirius, get off your ass and get into the school and talk with them!" I was yelling at him, and I didn't even realize it.

"Anwen, I've never heard you swear like that?" he seemed shocked.

"That's because I am really mad right now. Get up Sirius, come on, now," I yanked him up but the hand and started pushing him toward the castle. He kept dragging his feet, and it was difficult to move someone so much larger than I. I finally threatened to levitate him through the school, and he started moving better. When I got there, I found James and Lily in the common room. Remus was upstairs in the dorm room. I marched all of them up there, shoved them in the room, and closed the door behind me. I sealed it magically, then put a silencing charm on the door. I pulled up a chair, folded my arms, and sat down in front of the door.

"I am not letting any of you out of here until you have talked and gotten all this straightened out. You ruined my perfectly good happy mood today, and I've had it," I said petulantly.

It was an uncomfortable conversation, but in reality, the whole situation was a whole lot of nothing. James only stopped Snape because he knew that Remus would feel bad if he'd bit or ripped anyone else apart. Remus admitted that if he was to rip anyone apart, he would have loved for it to have been Snape. Lily admitted that she was more upset about the run in with Snape than anything else. When they finally dissolved into laughter, I knew that things would be back to normal. I unsealed the door and lifted the rest of the charms. Peter wasn't here, again, but he would agree with whatever James said anyway. _He really doesn't do anything of his own will does he?_

"Well, folks, now that we have wasted an entire afternoon, should we go to dinner?" James said, taking Lily by the hand and heading toward the door. I got up, put the chair back the desk, and smiled.

"You know, I think that I will stay here. Can you bring something back with you?" Remus said, staying on his bed.

"Nonsense. You are staying in this room until we are through with school. Come on, I'll even let Lily hold your hand if you want," James said, turning to pull him off his bed.

"You don't let me do anything James," Lily said sternly to James. I couldn't help but laugh at her. "I will hold your hand though, I'm proud to be seen with you," she said, taking Remus hand. The three of them exited the door. I went to follow, but Sirius grabbed my hand.

"Hey you, not so fast," he turned me around and picked me up. He had gotten even taller, and I, well, I was still short. _Am I ever going to grow? _ He lifted me so that we were face to face. "For such a little squirt, you can really be a pain in the ass," he teased me.

"Yup, and that is why you keep my around my dear friend," I patted his face knowingly. "You needed a kick in the pants to get you to resolve this. It all worked out, so no hard feelings?" I really didn't want him mad at me now.

"Of course not. What would I do without you?" he asked, hugging me tightly.

"Probably just keep making a mess of things. So, do I have somewhere to live this summer?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hey, that is OUR home as someone reminded me a little while ago. As long as you want to be there, it's yours," he put me down, and I did my little happy dance. We headed out of the dorm room, and down to the Great Hall. I sat down and ate dinner with all of my friends for the first time in weeks. It seemed like the drama had finally passed, but my gut told me_ I still need to be on guard_. With that thought, I looked over toward the Slytherin table, and my eyes met Regulus Black's. A chill went through me at the look that they contained.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

**The First to Fall**

**Anwen POV:**

I barely remembered that my birthday was on the horizon. My school work was so much harder than I had expected, and taking my OWL's a year early, with only a half of a school year to prepare was well, a dumb idea. I thought I had a handle on the studies, but then someone would remember something that was on was on their test two years ago. Few things were going through my mind, save schoolwork. I hadn't even thought about my summer plays yet. I did however find time to give Matthew a little something to remember me by. I was going to let our breakup slide, be the bigger person, and not do anything. But, then he tried to hit on me, when he saw Sirius going into a closet to have some private time with some girl. _You'd think by the way he's going at it, he wants to make sure that he kisses - or whatever it is that he's doing - every girl at the school before he leaves. At this point, I had stopped trying to keep up with his dating. He could straighten the messes up without me, if he wasn't going to take my advice._ Matthew's stupidity was enough to make me reconsider. I hexed him, so that every time he would get close to a girl, he would pass terrible gas. I let it go on for a few weeks before I finally lifted it. The boys were so proud of my little bit of creative spell casting, they even gave me the nickname of 'The Apprentice'. It felt good to make Matthew's life just a little miserable. We also made sure that he saw pictures of me in my dress from the ball. _Oh, well, his loss._

About a week later, Evelyn Ellerthrope cornered me as I was leaving the Great Hall to go back to the Library to study. She was a fourth year from Ravenclaw who considered herself the most beautiful girl at the school. She fell way below either Lily or Eva and at least a dozen other girls were prettier than her. What Evelyn had going for her was her enormous chest. No one looked at her face, they all looked at her rack. She'd ended up going out with Matthew after what's her name dumped him because she didn't know that he hadn't broken up with me before getting together with her. Right now, none of it mattered to me, I had to study.

"Hello, Anwen," she sing-songed at me.

"Hi, Evelyn," I responded, continuing to walk toward the hallway.

"You'll never guess who I spent my afternoon with?" she said in a horribly shrill voice. I took in a deep breath and was already chastising myself for the question that was about to leave my lips.

"Who, Evelyn?"

"Your boyfriend," she said in a smart-ass way. I stopped and turned around and looked at her.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Evelyn. Haven't had one since the fall."

"Oh, really? Well aren't you and Sirius dating? You did go to the ball with him." I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. This wasn't the first time that I endured this humiliation since the ball.

"We did go to the ball, but only as friends. Glad that you had a good time," I added and turned to walk away.

"Guess that you don't snog very well," she snipped at me. "I saw the two of you out on the walk, just as midnight struck. Never met anyone who couldn't kiss well enough to keep a boy for a second date." Then she giggled.

I wasn't going to dignify her remarks with an answer, so I started walking. I made it to the junction of two halls before the tears started. I tried so hard to push them down, but a few escaped, right in time for me to run into Remus.

"Winnie, what's wrong?" he asked, his arm going around me shoulders. I collapsed into him.

"Nothing," I tried to blow him off.

"Nothing doesn't make you cry. Come on, this is me, we share our secrets, remember?" he prodded, trying to get me to talk.

"It's just a stupid girl thing," I told him as I wiped my eyes. "Sirius' never ending list of conquests often like to rub it in that he takes them to the broom closet and not me. This one was just meaner than the usual."

"I see," Remus said as he hugged me tightly. I hid there for a minute, tightly within his arms, until I felt well enough to push myself off of him.

"I need to go and study," I told him quietly. "I'll be in the library if anyone needs me." I walked away before he could say anything else, and didn't turn around, even when he called my name.

The afternoon of my birthday, Lily and Eva came to me, and asked me if I wanted to take a little break. I told them I could spare a few minutes, but I was going through the importance of Elemental Transfigurations again, just to make sure that I knew them well enough. After dinner, I needed to review all manner of dark creatures. We went upstairs to the boys room, and they had swiped a great array of pudding for me. I smiled, and dug into some chocolate cake. I was given some lovely gifts from my friends, and I thanked them all. Sirius handed me an envelope.

"Open it," he commanded me. There was a folded sheet of paper inside, as well as a key. "Open the paper and read it. Then I'll explain the key," he explained. I unfolded the page and began to read. The paper was an itinerary, for a trip to Italy. I looked up at him stunned. His name was on the itinerary, and the dates were for the end of the summer.

"I wanted to travel a little this summer, as a sort of end of school gift, and I don't want to do it alone. So, you're coming with me," he said completely matter of fact.

"Italy," I spat out. "You are giving me a trip to Italy?"

"Yes," he told me quietly, " I know that you have always wanted to see Rome," I did. The idea of all of those ruins and the history and the art. I have always been obsessed with Rome. I didn't know what to say. My mouth just hung open, while I stared at him. _Italy, I was going to go to Italy._

"Well done, Padfoot. She's speechless," James commented from his bed. They were all laughing, I was just sitting there dumbfounded.

"Italy. Sirius, seriously, it's too much," I said, not even thinking about what I saying.

"Nice joke Anwen. Sirius, seriously," James was still laughing at me.

"Well, then you are going to hate what the key is for then," Sirius said to me, his lips curling into that lopsided smile that I loved.

"What have you done?" I couldn't imagine what it was a key for, but if he was implying that it cost more than the trip, I was scared. "Should I be afraid?" Everyone started laughing again. I could feel the blood drain from my face.

"We are moving from the flat, into something a little larger. That's the key to the front door," he said proudly.

"What?" was all that I could stammer out.

"It's closer to the theater, and it has some other amenities that I think you will appreciate. If I can shake the Heads on our next week on our trip to Hogsmeade, I'll show you what I mean," he explained. I cocked my head and looked at him, furrowing my brow.

"What, it's in Hogsmeade?" I asked him, still unable to make words fit together in my head.

"No silly, girl. It's in London, but we can apparate from Hogsmeade," he said, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

"Oh," it was all that I could think of. I must have had the strangest look on my face, because again the room erupted in laughter. "Here, just sign this, and everything will be taken care of," I nodded and signed the paper Sirius held in front of me with a quill. When I signed it, he gave it to Midnight, who was at the window, and told her to take it to Gringotts. _How long was my owl sitting there? _

"What was that?" I asked, once I realized where he was sending it. I looked at Sirius, and he was still smiling that wonderful, knowing smile.

"It was the deed to the house, you are the Co-owner now," he told me. His face now fully engulfed in a smile.

"Deed. House. Sirius, you bought a house?" The whole thing finally dawning on me.

"Yes, but as of a few moments ago, it's we. Responsible of me huh?" he said, nodding his head. I couldn't believe this. "Now, come on, we need to go and eat dinner," he took me by the hand and pulled me off the bed, I was still in shock. My feet didn't want to move, and my legs felt weak. _A house, we own a house? I own a house with Sirius. _

Sirius lifted me, and swung me onto his back, it had been a while since he'd carried me like this. Eva excused herself, and went to the Hufflepuff table. She had a study group that she had to meet in fifteen minutes.

I slowly came out of it as we were eating dinner, and by the time that I was drinking my tea, I was engaged in the happy conversation with my friends. Still a little overwhelmed. _Sirius had bought a house. I really can't think about it now_. _I need to study now, the only dark creature I am sure about is a werewolf. _The conversation died down however, when Professor McGonagall came over and said that she needed to talk with Remus. She invited James to come with them. Remus insisted that we all come along.

"Anything that needs to be said, can be done so in front of them all Professor," we rose, and grabbed our things. _Is this about what happened earlier this spring? Are they really going to expel him this close to the end of term?_ The worry must have flashed across my face, because Sirius put his arm around me protectively. As we were leaving, I looked over to the Slytherin table, too many of them were gleefully happy, as if they were jumping out of their own skin. Especially Regulus and Snape. _What are they so happy about? Do they have something to do with this?_

We went up to her office, she conjured enough chairs so that we could all sit.

"Mr. Lupin, I regret to inform you that there was an attack earlier this afternoon. Your home was attacked, and your father has been killed. There was nothing left of the house. I am so very sorry. The headmaster would have liked to tell you himself, but he was needed at the Ministry of Magic tonight, the Wizengamot needed to discuss this most recent attack."

Remus' face fell. I instinctively took one of his hands, and Lily did the same with the other. James rose to stand behind him, and put his hands on his shoulders. Tears were falling down my face. He was alone in the world, his mother had died of a long illness several years ago, before I knew him, and his father was all that he had. He was a kind man, with the same gentle eyes. He had loved his son deeply, even with the complications of his being a werewolf.

"I know that you are the only family. If you need help making any arrangements, please let me know. The body has been moved to St. Mungo's. I assume that he will be buried next to your mother?" Remus nodded. We sat there in silence for while. We took our cues from Remus when he would want to go, and when he stood, we silently followed him out and returned to the tower.

"Is there anything that we can do for you?" Lily asked gently, once we were all through the portrait door.

"Um, no. I suppose that I need to get to London to claim the body, and then make some arrangements. The plot is already bought, my mother is there. I don't even know who else would be at a service. Most of the neighbors have ignored him since ..." his voice trailed off.

"We can go tomorrow. I'll have my father meet us there, and help us with anything that needs to be done. I'll owl him tonight to let him know. I am sure Mum and Dad will be there for the service as well," James immediately said.

"Don't worry about a place to stay, you are welcome with Winnie and I, for as long as you need," Sirius spoke up. I nodded my head in agreement.

"Thanks for all of your help. Really. I think I just want to be alone right now. Goodnight," and with that, Remus turned and walked up stairs. The tears that I had been working so hard to hold in broke free, and I fell into Sirius' embrace. Lily had done the same with James. We all sat down on the couch, not saying anything, just needing to be close.

"Should we go get Eva?" I asked. James shook his head.

"I asked him, and he said he didn't want her here. I think that he wants to mourn alone a while," he explained. I nodded my head, even though I didn't like that he was pushing her away. He'd been distancing himself since that stupid night with Severus. We were all quiet again.

"Do you think that it was Death Eaters?" I finally asked quietly.

"Probably. He is a half blood, from a once powerful family. They must have targeted him because of his, 'furry little problem'," James said quietly. He spoke this way in public, we didn't need to confirm anyone's suspicions. "His dad had made enemies though, so it could have been that,"

"But I thought that they were using werewolves now? Wouldn't they have just wanted to recruit him?" Sirius asked James. _The Death Eaters were recruiting werewolves? Wait how much of what was going on did Sirius and James truly know. _

"Doubt it. It's common knowledge that Professor Dumbledore and Remus are close. He's only at the school because of Dumbledore making special arrangements for him. They wouldn't ever try to recruit him. Furthermore, Moony wants to live among wizards, not among his kind," James replied.

"Wait. What do you mean, among his kind?" I asked, this conversation was confusing me.

"Anwen, most werewolves live on the edges, almost like wolves. Some have even developed a taste for human flesh. Moony isn't like them," Sirius looked down at me, his eyes full of sympathy.

"That information is not in the textbooks," I said quickly, causing everyone to chuckle. After a while longer, we decided that we should try to get some work done. James and Lily quickly went to do rounds, and Peter excused himself to go to the library. It left Sirius and I on the couch.

"Let me quiz you on your creatures," he said, picking up my textbook.

"No," I said shaking my head. "Go upstairs and talk with him. He needs to talk with someone, go to him, listen. If you need me, I'll be right back. I'm going to get Eva, she would want to be here with him. Just go and talk with him," I pleaded with him. He rose, touched me on the shoulder and went upstairs. I slipped out of the portrait and went to the gateway to the Hufflepuff house. Thankfully, a girl I knew from one of my classes was going in, and I told her that I needed to speak with Eva.

A few minutes later, Eva came out, and I explained everything to her. She didn't have any shoes on, but she didn't care, we nearly ran back to the Gryffindor tower. Once we were there, she ran up to the boys dorm room, and I settled down on the couch, opening my book. I didn't read a word, instead caught up in deep thoughts about family and how close the war that everyone was trying to hide from me really was.

_Who would go after someone's family, just because you didn't like them? Is my family safe in Wales? I'm not particularly close to them, but I didn't want them dead. I had hope that someday...was that was made Regulus and Snape so happy tonight? _

After a while, James and Lily came back through. They said that they had run into Professor McGonagall, and she had given Remus, James and Sirius permission to miss class tomorrow to go into London. Eva, Lily, Peter and I would remain here, while arrangements were made, but we would all be allowed to leave for the service itself. They had also used Midnight to send a message to James father. He had hoped that I wouldn't be upset, I wasn't. They would meet at St. Mungo's at 10:00 am. Lily looked so drained. James kissed her goodnight, and she went upstairs. We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Where are Peter and Sirius?" he asked me, sitting on the opposite side of the couch.

"Peter said he was headed to the library, and Sirius was upstairs talking with Remus. I'm surprised he didn't come down when Eva got here. Don't yell at me, I went and got her. She needed to be with him,"

"You're braver than I am. I was afraid to go against his wishes."

"He never yells at me," I reminded him and James nodded.

"He's all alone James, just like me, just like Sirius. We don't have anyone," I told him beginning to cry.

"We will always have each other, no matter what, I promise. You're the only one who can keep Sirius in line," James said, sliding over and putting a protective arm around me.

"First you insult me, and then you make a move on my sweet girl. James, your fiancée would not appreciate that kind of behavior," Sirius said, coming down the stairs, his hair wet and dressed in his pajamas and a beaten up Muggle band tee-shirt. He picked me up, sat down and put me on his lap.

"His fiancée is fine with whatever behavior he has; she loves him dearly," Lily said, also crossing the room. She too had changed into her pajamas and had come back downstairs.

"I thought that you were going to bed, love," James said, standing to greet Lily. They curled themselves together on the couch.

"I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get to sleep. I just wanted to be here with you," she said leaning into him. We all sat there, still stunned.

"How is he?" James asked Sirius.

"Okay. This is going to be hard for him. It was just him and his dad for so long. Anwen, he wants to know if you will sing at the service," Sirius answered, and then looked down at me.

"Of course. I would do anything for him. He should know that."

Sirius went on to tell me the music that Remus thought that he would want, he named a well known hymn and then continued, "...and then something about a folk song that you once sang for him," I smiled at it, nodding, knowing exactly what Remus was talking about.

"Anwen, I didn't know you could sing," Lily said.

Sirius looked down at me with a knowing smile, and I returned it and shrugged. "It's not that I was keeping this from you, exactly, it's just something that makes me a little uncomfortable," I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I studied with the English National Opera since I was four. My old school is the opera school, and I go back every summer to work with them so that I can continue to be the soloist. So, yes, I can sing," I finally let everyone in on my big secret.

"Anwen, that's amazing," she replied. I shrugged again.

"No, it's just something that is," I said shaking my head. I looked at Sirius, and with his eyes, he urged me to explain. "My whole childhood, I have been a voice. No one cared about what I wanted or what I felt like, and it was so wonderful to come here and have no one know and to be able to just be myself. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, I just wanted to be me, not some voice," the words sort of spilled out of me. Sirius held onto me tightly and gently kissed my head. _He always knows how to make me feel better._

"Hey, I can't blame you for keeping a secret. But, it is really cool. Can you sing something for us?" she said, reaching out for my hand.

"For you, sure. Um, let me think? Okay. You should know this one," I quietly started singing one of my favorite Beatles songs, singing slowly. Lily smiled at the song, and Sirius rubbed my arm with his hand as I sang. When I was done, Lily and James smiled at me.

"Wow." Lily said softly. "That was lovely," she complimented me.

"You know, the song had it right," Remus and Eva had come downstairs as well. He was standing in the doorway, looking at us, she was holding onto his mid-section with both arms.

"Yeah, it did," Eva added. Without another word, Remus walked her through the door, presumably back to her dorm. A few minutes later he returned.

"Come on over here, there's room." Lily called him over, and he sat down between us. Lily took his hand, and I leaned over and put an arm around him, and laid my head on his shoulder. For a moment, the world was a long way away, the night was quiet and dark. I started singing again.

It was a pleasant service, _well as pleasant as a funeral can be._ I still felt somewhat numb. We had all gone back to Potter Manor afterwards. Mrs. Potter fussed over Remus something fierce. It was probably for the best. Several other students had come from school, as well as some of the teaching staff. It was pleasant enough, but very sad too. A number of people had complimented me on my singing, it made me so uncomfortable. This wasn't the place for it. When it was time to return to school, I was of course, the only one who couldn't get herself back to school on my own. _I hate being younger than everyone else._ Sirius took me by the arm and held me close, intending to take us both back to school, however, when I opened my eyes, we weren't outside the gates to Hogwarts, we were in a small grove of trees near a Muggle park.

"Okay, not Hogsmeade. Care to tell me where we are, or have you finally lost it, and kidnapped me?" I said, trying to make a joke out of it.

"We'll go back soon, but there is something that I want to show you. Come on. Oh, wait, one thing before we go," he pointed his wand at me, and my green dress robes were transformed into a Muggle skirt and blouse. _I would have picked this out for me to wear, not bad._ He did the same for himself, however, he gave himself jeans and a jumper. _That's good, he doesn't have the legs for a skirt. Why am I making jokes on a day like today? _ We emerged from the trees, with Sirius holding my hand.

"You seem a million miles away today, are you sure that you are okay?" he asked me, looking down at me.

"Yeah. I had to push my emotions down during the service, just to get through the music, and it's bubbling back up now. I'll probably cry over not liking what they serve for dinner, or over not making my bed this morning or something stupid like that. I shut down to cope," I said back.

"Yes, I remember your near comatose states. It's okay Winnie, he'll be fine. We will all keep him close and let him know he's not alone. Please don't worry so much," he said back, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

"It's not only that. Sirius, your family are safe, but..." I took a deep breath to be able to finish my thought. It had been rattling around in my mind since my birthday "...do I have to be afraid for my family in Wales?" The tears broke free from my face, and I just lost it. He pulled me over to the shade of a large tree, and sat down with me on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered quietly in my ear.

"Winnie, honey, your family should be safe. Wales is far away, and other than being close to me, there is no reason for ...him...to go after them. If that changes, we will make sure that they are safe. Remus' dad had made his own enemies a long time ago, that, coupled with Remus not wanting to live like a typical werewolf made him a target. Shhh, please don't worry. I'll make sure all of you are safe. Trust me, I will do anything I can to protect them, just like I would with you," he promised me, and I wanted to believe.

We sat there, silent for a while. I watched the children playing, running to their mothers and fathers when they fell, or when they did something they were proud of. _I miss my family._ As I watched the children at play, I remembered similar moments with my own parents. The memories caused fresh pain to rip into me. Sirius kissed my head, and rubbed my arms, and tried to calm me down. The emotions of the day flooded out of me, and I didn't fight them. I wept for the deep loss that my friend was enduring, but I also wept for my lost childhood. I would never go home, I would never run to my mother to bandage my knee or kiss my pinched fingers. My father would never again watch me with pride as I did something new, like the day I finally learned to ride a bike. They were only memories now.

As much as I missed everyone in Wales, this boy, no this man was all that I had now. He had so completely become the center of my life, that the rest of it felt like nothing more than a dream that I had begun to forget as I awoke. As the waves of tears finally began to ebb away, I buried the memories of my childhood back away, and focused on this man, this flawed and crazy man who would move heaven and earth to make me happy. That may have been my past, but Sirius would always be my future. When I was finally able to form words, I wiped my face off and looked at him.

"Okay, I doubt that you just picked this park out of the air. So, why are we really here?" I asked him.

"Well, since we were off campus, I figured that you might want to see our house before we move in," he lifted me up, and soon we were both standing, then walking down the street.

"Wait, it's near here? Sirius, it's lovely. Why would you pick a Muggle neighborhood?" I questioned him, looking at him intently.

"It provided what we needed, and, there are fewer eyes here. Professor Dumbledore has talked with me about doing some things for him after school is over, and this afford me the privacy to do it. In addition, we are really close to the theater here," he fell silent.

"That's it, all the information I am going to get?" I asked after a moment.

"Yes, for right now," he said, as we turned down a street lined with sweet little row houses. We came to stand in front of a cute one with while clapboard siding and beautiful rose bushes in front. It had a front porch with a swing, I smiled when I saw the swing.

"I knew that would make you happy," Sirius said, pointing at the swing. "You look like someone who would want to sit and swing and drink your coffee and think," Sirius said, smiling down at me. I returned the smile warmly, feeling happy for the first time all day.

He unlocked the door, and opened it up. The house was quaint, and it was larger than the flat. The kitchen was large and bright. I was happy with it. "Lots of room to bake biscuits," he said smiling at me.

"So that's why you keep me around, to keep yourself in pastries?" I said, joking back.

The basement had an old coal room, which was thickly lined and windowless. "As bad as it sounds, I thought this might be a good place for Remus to wait out his changes. We can brick over the shoot, and seal the door magically. James and I should be fine with him in here," he explained.

"No. It's not bad, it's responsible of you" I said, looking up with admiration, he appreciated my choice of words. There was a small yard, with a peach tree near the back of the yard. There were blossoms all over the branches. I was quite excited at the thought of fresh peaches.

"There is why I really bought the house. Come on," he said, grabbing my hand, and walking me out to a small outbuilding.

"You bought a house because of a garage?" I posed, not really understanding. _We don't own anything that needs a garage. Do we?_

"Yes, come on, have a look," he opened a small side door, and we walked in. It was mostly empty, except for something rather large under a tarp at one end.

"I brought it over here when I had the keys. It's been at the Potter's since last summer, and I think that Mrs. Potter wanted it out," with that, he grabbed the tarp and flung it off of whatever was underneath. That whatever was a motorbike.

"Sirius, how long have you had, that?" I pointed at the black and chrome machine, with what I was sure was disgust on my face.

"Um, since last summer. I got it right before you got sick. I thought it would be fun to be able to get out into the countryside, without having to apparate everywhere," he said.

"You think that I would get on that thing?" _There was no way that I would ever get on that._ "It's dangerous and crazy to ride. Wait, do you even have a license or know how to drive a Muggle car or bike?"

"Winnie, of course I can, well I use magic of course. I've made a few modifications to it too. It can fly," he said proudly. _Is he crazy?_

"Sirius Black you are the craziest man on the earth," I had grabbed him and I was shaking him. "It's stupendously stupid to have a flying motorbike. What if some Muggle saw you on it?"

"They did last summer," he said sheepishly. He went on to tell me about when he and James took it out one day while I was at rehearsal. The Muggle police had seen him driving it far above the speed limit, and a chase ensued. It only ended when they were all chased by some people on brooms. James and Sirius had to protect the Muggle police.

"Why didn't I know anything about this?" I asked, my eyes narrowing, a little perturbed.

"Um, because you took ill, and it didn't seem so important anymore," he said, taking my hands, trying to keep me from yelling at him I was sure. I shook my head at him and then wriggled my hands free.

"Don't keep something like that from me again," I said waving my finger at him, then taking his hand back. "Come on, I really do need to get back. Exams aren't far away, and I would like to study some today," I explained as I pulled him away. We closed the garage and walked back into the house. With everything locked and secured, we apparated from the empty lounge and we soon at the gates of Hogwarts.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

**It Happened One Summer**

**Anwen POV:**

Exams flew by, and generally I thought that I had done well. Then, school was over.

The night after exams were done, the seventh year students were holding a big party in the common room. I was feeling a little melancholy about the whole thing, so I sat alone in the corner, holding a cup of tea in my hands. They announced that they were going to play "Three Minutes in the Closet" and I decided that was my cue to be leaving. I had watched girls from the fifth, sixth and seventh years hanging all over Sirius all night, I didn't need to see any more. As I was getting up to leave, Remus came over to me.

"You're not leaving already, are you?" he asked. I nodded my head at him.

"I'm tired, and I have to start rehearsals soon; anyway, the idea of being locked in a closet with a boy isn't my idea of fun. With my luck, I'd end up with Peter or some stupid second year that drooled," I told him pointedly, and he chuckled at me. I looked behind him and saw the girls hanging of Sirius again, and I was trying to figure out why it was bothering me so much. Remus looked over to see what had caught my attention, and he smiled, knowingly.

"I'm sorry that he's hurting you. He still hasn't figured it out," he said under his breath and I looked a him puzzled. "Impressive that you have."

"What? I just...I get tired of the...giggling," I added, using the first thing that came to mind.

"It can be rather irritating," he said with a knowing smile that I didn't think was about giggling. "That," he said, tipping his head toward Sirius and his harem, "doesn't change the way he feels about you. He'd move heaven and earth for you," he told me.

"Yeah, I know. It's just..." I hesitated, "...I know I'm not in their league. Someday he'll find a girl he wants to talk to and to shag, and then what will happen to me?" The words tumbled out of their own accord, and we were both struck by what I had just said. _What was I saying, did I want to be that girl? You've got to stop it Anwen, you can't mess up this relationship, he's the only family you have. _Remus was about to say something. "Never mind. If anyone asks, tell them I went upstairs to go to bed. I'll see you at breakfast," I told him, and turned to leave for the girls dorm before he could stop me. Right by the stairs, there was a small table with bottles on it, I grabbed one and took it with me. I found myself crying into my pillow, again, and not really knowing why.

_It's past two, there couldn't be anyone left down here now. _ I mumbled in my head while I crept down the stairs. I missed one, and fell squarely on my bum. _ Ouch that hurt._ I yelled at myself, adding a few colorful expletives. I made it to the common room and looked around, _ah ha, there was more left._ I smiled and waggled my eyebrows at the still corked bottles of wine on the table near the stairway. _Just the thing I needed to take my mind off...well to clear my mind. _I grabbed one, and was about to go back upstairs, when a sound by the fireplace caught my attention. I crept over, and was surprised to find Remus, laying on the couch, feet dangling off the end, snoring rather loudly with an empty Firewhiskey bottle on his chest. He was making so much noise that my body began shaking with silent laughter.

His shoes were off, so I decided to tickle his feet. At first he just twitched them, then he was wiggling them, and finally, he kicked my hand and woke up when his foot met the resistance of my hand.

"Anwen, what the hell are you doing?" he moaned, throwing his hand over his face.

"Waking you up," I giggled. I couldn't control my giggles at all, and soon I was laughing so hard that I fell onto the floor.

"Anwen, what do you have in your hand?" he asked me, looking at me in the most peculiar way while I was half sitting, half lying on the floor, clutching my bottle to my chest and giggling.

"A bottle of wine. I like the wine," I told him, nodding my head. At this, he sat up on the couch, putting the empty bottle down on the floor, and looking at me in amused shock.

"How much did you like the wine?"

"A whole bottle. I came to get another," I said proudly. _I did like the wine. I liked it a lot._ I watched Remus' eyes grow wide and his mouth drop open.

"You drank a whole bottle of Elf-made wine?"

I nodded at him innocently. _It's one bottle, no big deal, gesh are you my father now?_

"Anwen, Elf-made wine is not like the Elderflower wine that we had at New Year's. You're supposed to only drink an ounce or two. You drank about six servings of it," he told me, getting up and walking over to me and putting a gentle arm around me and sitting me down on the couch next to him. "I don't think you should drink any more."

"Oh," I said, feeling very confused and nodding at him.

"Give me the bottle, Winnie," I continued to nod as I handed him the fresh bottle. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than before I started drinking the wine," I told him slowly. Suddenly the room had started spinning, and I needed to put my head down. He chucked at me.

"I don't doubt it, dear.

Several days later, my seventh year friends were all skipping the ride home on the train, part of me was just going to let Sirius take me home with him, but part of me wanted the separation that the train ride would provide. My mind still felt cluttered. He had said he would leave it up to me, but whatever was done, we would do it together. I was fully packed and ready to go, but I still hadn't decided how to go. We were in his dorm room, he was the last one left. I was fighting tears.

"Hey, why are you so nostalgic? You'll be back in the fall," he said, wiping the tears from my face. _My emotions are a mess right now, stop crying you silly girl._

"But this won't be your room. Do you realize that I'll be here alone. Everyone else will be gone," I dissolved into sobs. I was so tired from studying for my OWL's and it all just caught up to me. He picked me up and carried me to his bed and sat me down next to him.

"Winnie, you're not alone. You have Katie and Corinne, and the rest of the Quidditch team. I'll come and see you on Hogsmeade weekends and for matches. You'll be home on breaks. Come on now, calm down, let's just go home. I have everything packed from the flat, but you will need to put things away. I wouldn't dare touch your kitchen things," he said with a little laugh. I sniffed loudly and dried my face.

"Good thing too, you wouldn't know what half of it was. Take me home, I would just cry the whole train ride back to London anyway," we left the castle, walked off the grounds and in seconds, we were home.

The summer season would be great. Early mornings I had dance or music classes, then I would return home and shower and eat before I needed to get to the theater. I loved to dance, and Sirius healed my feet daily, since looking at them bothered him so much. I still wasn't crazy about my voice classes, but since the rest of my life was mine, I could live with it. It was nice to have something resembling regularity to my life. Sirius still took me where I needed to go every day, although I did tell him that I could walk or take the tubes, he preferred it this way. _Stupid overprotective man._

At the theater he would often stay, chatting with the stage guys or just watching. Mr. Meriwether asked him if he would like a job, since he was there so much of the time; Sirius declined. I told him he would be cute on stage, all the women in the audience would swoon at him; he didn't appreciate my humor. He took to snarling at some of the girls from last summer as well, just to make sure that they left me alone. _Just what I need, a full time attack dog._ I had a small part in the first play of the season, which was fine with me, it made the transition easier. The second play however, was one that I loved, and I really wanted a specific part. I held my breath when I read through the cast list. _Yes, Yes, yes. _We were doing King Lear and I had been cast as his youngest daughter, Cordelia. Sirius and I went out to celebrate after that evenings performance the day that the cast list came out. He apparated us to Paris for a late dinner and to see the city lit up by lights at night. I had never heard of anyone doing something like this, and I was thrilled. _Maybe it's not so bad to have him spoil me, just a little._ Remus had the strangest look on his face when Sirius did things like this for me; then he would chuckle and leave the room. I had no idea what was up with him.

Most weeknights, were quiet affairs at home, we didn't arrive back home after the show until well after 10:30, but I was too keyed up to be able to do much sleeping. We would eat a light meal or listen to music. Many night Lily and James would be there when Sirius brought me back from the theater. Wedding plans were nearly complete, and the wedding was only weeks away. I had agreed to sing for them on their wedding day. It was part of my gift to them. I had also found a beautiful antique quilt for their bed at a boot sale, and would be giving it to them as well.

Weekends however, were anything but quiet. Since I had no rehearsals, and we were doing few matinées this year, we had a great deal of free time. We would travel through London, and Sirius had even gotten me out on the motorbike, once. The sensation was a little like flying, but it felt like he wasn't fully in control, and I was always afraid that he would crash the stupid thing. I did however enjoy getting out of the city for while, that part was pleasant.

Then, word came from Sirius' cousin, Andi, that his father had died. He was very quiet about the whole thing at first. It wasn't until we were sitting in his bedroom late that night that he finally opened up to me.

"Did I tell you, he made me meet Voldemort when I was six?" he whispered in the darkness. I was propped up against the headboard in his huge bed, his head was in my lap and I was rubbing circles along his back. He held my other hand tightly between his. I felt like he was using me as a lifeline, something to keep him tethered to reality.

"How horrid," I replied.

"Horrid is a good word for him," Sirius rambled. "He was...Win, vicious doesn't come close. He'd deny me food, lock me in the basement, threaten to torture my Mum if I didn't do things the way he wanted. When I came home for the Christmas Holiday, after I'd been sorted into Gryffindor my first year, he chucked hot coals from the grate at me. Mum finally snuck me out of the house and sent me to the Potter's.

"I hated him, Anwen. I hated what he stood for, what he did with his life, how he treated people. I never want to become what my father was."

"Sirius, you couldn't if you tried," I explained. "You already love far too much."

"Anwen, I only know what real love is because you're in my life. You're the best friend I've ever had."

I didn't respond to him, but the same pang from school this year resounded in my gut. I scooted down and let his head rest on my chest as I hummed him to sleep.

The funeral was three days later. James went with Sirius, since Lily, Remus and I wouldn't have been welcomed. Peter was away this summer, on an extended holiday with his parents in Africa. It had apparently been difficult on Sirius, as he was verbally abused by most of his extended family. His brother had nearly hit him upon sight, and it took Mrs. Black standing between them to keep a fight breaking out. Sirius didn't go back to his parents house after the burial, and he and James came home.

Upon his entering the house, Sirius went to the kitchen and took a bottle of Firewhiskey out of the cabinet, stormed back out the back door, and out to the garage. I didn't know what transpired that night, but thankfully James and Remus had stayed with him. I knew that there were things that I couldn't help Sirius work through that perhaps they could.

A week before the wedding, I had planned a special day for the two of us. It was something that I used to share with my Da, but now that he wasn't around, I needed someone else to enjoy my passion. I told Sirius that I had planned the day, and all he had to do was put on the clothes that I had set out for him. He cocked an eyebrow at my request, I shook my head at him, he knew that it wasn't worth arguing with me over. _He knows he still owed me for the whole not telling me about the motorbike thing._

He was waiting in the lounge for me when I bounded down the stairs that morning. He was in the jeans and red and white baseball shirt I had left for him. When he saw me, his jaw dropped, and he started laughing at me. _For what we are doing, we look appropriate._

"Winnie, love, you look like a clown," he said between laughs. I rolled my eyes at him, but I did look a little funny, that much I would admit. I had on my black cut off shorts, and my red and white stripped shirt as well as red and white stripped socks and trainers. My hair was in two long ponytails on either side of my head, tied up with red, white and black ribbons. My face was painted with big letters. "CR" on one cheek and "FC" on the other. "Where exactly are we going with you dressed like that?"

"We are going to the Stoop to watch my favorite team play today. The Cardiff RFC is against the Harlequin Rugby League Club this afternoon. I used to go with my Da, but you'll do. Now, do you want to take the tube, or, I can't believe that I am saying this, do you want to drive us there?" I said making a face and rolling my eyes. I knew his answer before the question was even out of my mouth.

"Wait, you'll get back on? Oh, by all means, we'll drive. I don't want to ride the tubes with you dressed like that!" he replied, almost giddy.

"Fine, we have a few minutes until we have to leave then. Have you had anything to eat?" I asked, heading into the kitchen.

"Yeah, but I'll have some more tea. I take it the colors are red and white," he said, picking at his shirt.

"Yup," I said popping the P at the end, "their away colors anyway, and now, you are dressed right. Do you know anything about the game?" I asked, as I started some toast, and put the hot water on.

"Nope. I'm a Quidditch man myself," he said, sitting down.

"Well, as awesome as Quidditch is, there is something even better about Rugby. Much more physical. A good match will have several bloody noses and maybe even a split lip or two," I was giddy with excitement, and I was bouncing into the kitchen.

"Anwen Hodgson, I have never heard you talk about anything that way!"

"Oh yeah, remind me to show you my favorite shirt upstairs. I can't wear it anymore, since it has gotten a little holed, but I still keep it in my closet. It says: "Donate Blood, play Rugby". I got it at a match when I was like eight. Didn't wear it at school because I didn't want to emphasize the Muggle thing," I went on to explain the game, he was listening intently, and when I had finished eating, we set out for the garage and the bike. I had the tickets in my pocket, and we both had our wands, just in case. There were times that living in the Muggle world was easier, but things were getting scary there too. I tried to push it out of my mind, and just enjoy the summer, but everything felt different. I held onto Sirius tightly as we rode through the city.

The Stoop is a huge building. Rows and rows of bleachers, and a giant field. I had gotten seats in the section reserved for fans from the opposing team. I had ordered my tickets, with some help from Professor Dumbledore, the day they went on sale. They were a little costly, but it was rare that I would get a chance to see my favorite team play so close to my home. There were other RFC fans in the stands, outside of the section, but I knew that we were safer in the special section. All I needed was some Harlequin fan getting in my face, and Sirius deciding that he needed to defend my honor or something stupid.

He seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere, and several of the people around us had struck up a conversation. I had to act as an interpreter though, since they had thick Welsh accents. I could understand them, and unfortunately found myself sliding back into mine as I listened to them speak. I did the same thing when I was home last summer. Sirius thought that it was cute, and told me I should talk that way all the time, I retorted by picking up his slightly proper London cadence. He found this even more hilarious, and he kept asking me to imitate the accents of people we know. He particularly liked my Scottish brogue, in honor of Professor McGonagall. _Being a theater brat has some advantages. _ Finally the match started.

It was great, I knew the team members, and as they took the field, I told Sirius about each of them. He had no idea that I followed the team this closely, but I smiled and told him I read the Muggle papers while I was at the theater. He shook his head at me and smiled. "Every day is an adventure with you Winnie," _I hate the nickname, no point correcting him anymore. _ The match started, and I continued to explain what was happening, and what the different calls from the refs were. Then, we had the first bad call. In true fashion when one is at a rugby match, I yelled at the referee. The string of words that came out of my mouth must have surprised Sirius, although no one else too notice of it.

"Anwen Llyn, I have never hear anything like that come out of your mouth. I didn't even know you knew those words!" he was looking at me with shock on his face. "I thought you weren't allowed to swear at home?"

"Oh, we can't, but a rugby match is the exception to the rule," he smiled and threw his head back, his bark like laughing echoing around us.

"You are a constant surprise," he said when he'd calmed himself down. I went back to yelling at the ref. He even got into the game, and off course my team won, easily. When it ended, he checked his watch, and announced that he would need to hurry to get me home in time to change and eat. I didn't want to think about what that would mean, but he soon let me know that he would have to drive a little crazy to get us home quickly.

When we reached our house, I dismounted, and looked at my hands. My knuckles were white from grasping onto him so tightly. "That was most definitely the last time that I will ever do that!" I said, running upstairs to get changed and ready to leave. When I came back down, he had made me a sandwich and I ate quickly before he apparated me to the back alley.

"Don't forget, there is a party tonight at some club. I know you said that you would go, but I really can go on my own if you don't want to go," I said, letting go of his arm.

"I said I would go, and I will. It will be good to spend time with the cast. Plus, I've never been to a Muggle club. I'll meet you at the side entrance when you're done, okay?" he said, holding onto my shoulders to make sure that I was looking at him.

"Fine. I'll want to go home and put on something appropriate for going out however," I said, smiling at him.

"I will take you wherever you want to go, my dear. Break a leg," and with that I slipped into the theater.

Sirius did indeed meet me at the side door, but he looked different. I knew it was him, but something was off. I stared at him for a moment, then it came to me, he had shaved his beard off while I was at the theater. All that was left was a neatly trimmed mustache. My mouth fell open when I saw him, and I walked over and touched his face. It had been hidden for the last year under a thick, wiry beard. His face was so soft. "Why did you do this?"

"Well, James and Lily asked me if I would for the wedding. Tonight seemed like as good of a time as any," he said, my hand still stroking his face. "Is it okay?" he asked me, looking worried.

"Huh?" My fingers were still stroking his face. "Oh, yes, more than okay. I hated that thing, you felt like a Brillo pad," I paused and thought about what he had just said. "You mean, if I had asked, you would have shaved it off?"

"Probably," he said, still looking at me oddly and then taking my hands. "You really hated it. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it's your face, I really don't have the right to tell you what to do with your face," I said laughing. "I think you look much better now. Can we just walk home, it's such a beautiful night, and I don't want to be the first one to the club tonight? We can kill a little time by walking," he nodded his head and we set off down the street. Our home was only about eight blocks away, but I rarely walked it. Sirius preferred to know that I made it to and from safely. _As if there were Death Eaters lurking around every corner, he really is overprotective._

We got home, and I quickly ran upstairs and got myself showered and changed, taking care to not get my hair wet. I wore it in great curls for the current show, and I just wanted to pull them down and let them cascade down my back while I was out tonight. I had already picked out an outfit and quickly dressed. When I came downstairs, I noticed that Sirius had surprisingly done well for himself in the clothing department tonight. He had on one of the vintage tee shirts that I had gotten him at a flea market with a particularly cool Muggle band on it, and some great fitting jeans. My heart raced and my mouth hung open at him. _Okay, how did you not notice that he is not the scrawny fourteen year old boy that you met on the train four years ago? Seriously, he is, well, hot. Stop it, he's your best friend, friends can't be hot._ I shook myself from my stupor and bounded down the stairs, and he looked at me, and his face contorted into disgust.

"No way. You are not leaving this house dressed like that!" he stood up yelling at me.

"Who made you the fashion police?" I yelled back.

"You are only fifteen and you are not dressing like that!"

"Yes, I am fifteen, and I have been on my own since I was eleven. I can pick out my own clothes," I was wearing one of his button down old uniform shirts, pinched a the waist with a wide yellow belt that I found at a second hand store so it looked like a dress. I was also wearing my favorite dark green knee high boots. I had slid my wand down inside one of them. I never was without it, even on stage.

"You're barely dressed. Go put something on under that shirt. Wait, is that my shirt?"

"Yes, it's one of your uniform shirts, it's not like you'll be wearing it anymore, so I appropriated it. I like my outfit and I am dressed fine," I said putting my foot down.

"Anwen, if you don't want me acting like I need to protect you, then you need to put some more clothing on yourself," he had crossed his arms in front of himself, and he was glaring at me. I stuck my bottom lip out at him petulantly and stared back. He cocked an eyebrow at me. _I'm not going to win this battle._

"Fine, I'll be right back," I went back upstairs, I thought he might do this, so I grabbed a pair of the short shorts that I wore when I was dancing. They were exceptionally short, but I was, in his words, covered up. I put them on under the shirt and went back down. I picked up the tails of the shirt and showed him.

"See, now am I more covered?" I made a face at him. "Come on, I want to catch a taxi to go tonight," I grabbed him by the hand, and was headed out the door.

"Wait I could drive..."

"No! I've ridden that thing enough for one day," when we were out with Muggle, we tried to act like them, it made things easier. _Well, except for his insistence that we apparate to class and the theater. _ We walked to the corner and were able to hail a cab, the ride over was short. I was bouncing off the seat when we got there, Sirius insisted on paying, and I had learned that fighting him on this was pointless. He would spend money on me one way or another, so it wasn't worth arguing.

The club was dark and the ceiling was low and it smelled like stale Muggle beer and sweat, but the energy in the room was electric. There were some people already there, and I could see that they had tables at the far side of the club. I took Sirius by the hand and lead him through the crowd.

"Anwen, when you said dancing, I didn't think that you meant this. Is that even dancing?" He was staring at the people moving on the floor, pulsating with one another in time to the music.

"Yes, that is dancing, you didn't think it would be like the ball did you? Dressed like that," I said pointing at him. I couldn't help but laugh. "Relax, you'll get the hang of it, I'll teach you," I smiled up at him. He wasn't used to me being able to teach him things, and I always thought that it made him uncomfortable.

We sat down, and there were several pitchers of beer on the table, as well as some glasses. I avoided the stuff whenever I was out, hated it to be honest, but one of the guys from the cast handed Sirius a glass and he drank it down.

"Be careful, that isn't like butterbeer. It's much more like Firewhiskey," I whispered in his ear, he smiled that cocky smile. _Oh, this could be a long night._

More of the cast and crew filtered in, and soon, our tables were full. I sat close to Sirius, most of the cast thought that we were dating, which was fine with me, since it kept the stupid girls in the cast from hitting on him, well most of them anyway. _The last thing I need him doing is getting together with one of them, treating them like he usually does when he's tired of them, and having to spend the summer dealing with aftermath._ It also kept the creepy guys away from me; sweaty man from last summer still looked at me in the grossest way, and I did not want any part of getting anywhere near him. It was mutual protection to hang on Sirius like this. After a while, and an undetermined amount of beer on his part, Sirius leaned over and asked me: "So, can I have that dance lesson now?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me, and smiled his dangerous smile, looking like he'd gotten caught at something he wasn't supposed to be doing. _ At least he's a happy drunk._

"Sure," I said slowly as I smiled back at him. I took him by the hand and we went to the edge of the dance floor. I put his hands on my hips and put mine on his shoulders.

"Okay, all you have to do is sway to the music to start. Feel the motion that I'm making?" I said as I moved my hips back and forth in time to the music. "Just mimic what I do."

He started moving too and after a few minutes, we were rocking back and forth together. As he got more comfortable, I tried some other steps with him, moving my hands to his, and showing him how to spin me around. It was quite fun, and we were having a good time.

"You know, you don't move like you're fifteen, Winnie," he said to me, with his charming smile in place.

"Yup, I know that," _if this were anyone else I'd think that he was flirting with me. _ "You're lucky that smile still doesn't work on me," I mused back at him, shaking my head. "You're doing quite well for never having danced like this before," I laughed a little, winding my arm up to the back of his head, and moving myself in closer to him. My head was next to his chest, his near the top of my head. _Pretending can certainly be fun. _It wasn't until I felt a tap on my shoulder that I put more space between us. It was one of the new young guys from the cast, asking if he could cut in. Sirius' eyes quizzed me, and I sighed and nodded yes. I didn't want to be rude. He let go of me, but I grabbed his hand before he could walk away.

"No more beer, please, for me," I said in his ear. He smiled at me, and headed back to the table. Sirius was dangerous on a regular day, but a little drunk, who knows what he could get into without me there.

I danced for a few minutes with the guy from the cast, whose name escaped me. He was a good dancer and he was cute, but this wasn't going to go anywhere, no matter how badly he wanted it to. I wasn't in the slightest bit interested, even though part of me wished that I could be.

I thanked him, and headed back to the table, but Sirius wasn't there. _Great, slightly inebriated wizard walking around a Muggle bar tonight. This isn't going to end well._ I asked everyone if they knew where he went, and they said that he went off with Charlotte. _ Yuck, the queen of the sluts, swell. The girl has made out with at least 60% of the guys in the cast, and now she was off with Sirius. _ I wasn't so much concerned about her feelings, since I wasn't sure that she had any, but there had been so many tongues in her mouth, I was concerned about Sirius' health. I found them, outside the door, kissing.

"Come on Casanova, time to go home," I said, grabbing his hand. He willingly broke free, but she tried to cling onto him.

"Hey, maybe he doesn't want to go with you anymore," she said, walking her fingers up his arm. _Eeww I think I may vomit here. Wait till I tell the guys about her, he will never hear the end of it. Seriously, this is a new low in his choice of women. He's drunk, he's had a lapse in judgment. Yeah, that's it._

"Charlotte, get your hands off him. We share a house, of course he is coming home with me. You are not coming, there is no way you are going to be a guest in my house. I don't want to have to disinfect when you leave. Come on Sirius," I said, pleading with him.

He looked at me, but he didn't move. _Is he really thinking about staying? Okay, desperate situations call for desperate measures. _I thought about what I needed for a minute, my wand was in my boot, and I could feel it. _How can I get it out without her seeing it? Wait, he keeps his in his back pocket. _ I reached around him, and felt it. I gently lifted his shirt and held onto the handle. I hoped that it was enough of a connection, and that it wouldn't register with the Ministry for being underage magic. Of course, I could just blame Sirius, it was his wand after all, and he wasn't going to remember anyway. _Confundus, just a little, come on. _ He looked at me again, and released her, shaking her hands off.

"It's been fun," he said back at her. I could hear her swear under her breath at me, but I didn't care. _Too bad I can't hex her too. She is going to go in there and tell everyone that she made out with my boyfriend. Oh, well, at least he isn't really my boyfriend. _

I got us a cab and I had to help him into the house. _Man is he going to have one wicked hangover tomorrow. I told him not to drink so much, idiot. Maybe next time he will listen to me._ I flung him down onto the couch, and he pulled me down with him.

"You dance really well Winnie," he slurred at me.

"Yup, I do. Good night Sirius, get some sleep here tonight. I'll see you in the morning," I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.

"You smell good too," his head was up against my back. I was stifling a laugh.

"Okay, Sirius, let go of me," this was getting comical, his behavior was intoxicating. "No," he whined like a child denied candy. "You feel good, and I like you here," he whined again.

"Fine, I'll lay down here, with you," I told him as I turn around and laid down facing him. I touched his cheek again, he really was so much better looking without that awful beard. He was staring at me, hard. It was a look that I recognized, a look that I had desperately wanted to see for months, but not like this. Not when he was drunk. Then, he tipped his head and closed his eyes, and I knew what was happening. Having to think fast, I moved my head so he would miss my lips and just get my cheek instead. _It's the beer, it's just the beer. Oh hell, what just happened? _

"Why won't you let me kiss you?" _Wait, did he want to kiss me? What the hell is happening? All right enough is enough. If this was really going to happen between us, it wasn't going to be because he was drunk and lonely. I wanted him to want ME, not just some girl who was close. I was immediately sobered up, even if he wasn't going to be anytime soon. _

"You did once, we said we weren't going to do it again, remember. Now go to sleep Sirius, you have to drop this, or I'll go upstairs," I said calmly threatened him. _Thank goodness he won't remember any of this tomorrow._

"Oh, okay," I settled down with him, hoping that he would drop the whole kissing thing. I didn't want to have to think about it, or discuss it. I snuggled down on the couch beside him, and I felt him relax and begin to fall asleep.

"Night little one, I love you," he mumbled, somewhere near sleep.

"I love you too," _note to self, no more Muggle beer for ...what is he? _ His actions had churned up some things in me. I laid awake for hours trying to find the right word, but somehow everything kept falling up short. Conversations played over in my head, all the things we had ever called one another, the feelings that we expressed. I thought about how the girls he dated were grating on my nerves. For the first time in all the time that I have known Sirius, I was confused. At some point I slipped away from him, and went to curl up in the big chair on the other side of the room. _This could be bad, really bad. Anwen, what are you thinking? What has he done? Well, nothing really, but why does it feel like something has changed._ I could barely keep straight what was happening in my head and heart. I never really slept that night.

The next morning was Sunday, and Sirius awoke when the sunlight hit him in the face. I had nursed more than one hangover in my life. I had seen things at home when I was younger, and had helped more than one stupid girl in the music dorms. I had even made my own mistakes with liquor, thankfully, it was only once, and Remus gave me a potion that cured it quite quickly. I was ready when I heard him stir. I hoped that when Remus awoke that he'd be able to treat Sirius the same way, but for now, I had to stick to Muggle remedies.

"Before you move your head, take these," I said, handing him two aspirin. "Then drink this," and I gave him a cup of strong, warm – not hot – tea; "and then put this on your head," and I gave him a cold compress. I reached over him, and shut the curtain behind the couch, it squeaked loudly, which is why I didn't do it before. The room was suddenly much darker. "Maybe next time you'll listen to me," I said with a small laugh,

"I am having a hard time remembering last night," he mumbled, between gulps of tea.

"I'm not surprised. How much beer did you drink?" I asked him, cocking my lip up. _This was rewarding in some warped, twisted way._

"I don't know. My glass just kept getting filled back up. I remember dancing with you, you dance good by the way," he mumbled. I wasn't sure how to take his comment.

"Thanks. Do you remember anything else?" I asked hesitantly.

"Um, some girl. Char..."

"Charlotte. Sirius, your taste is dreadful if you willingly chose that," I made a face at him.

"I don't know what came over me. She said she needed some help outside, and I went with her, and then we were snogging and I couldn't really think straight enough to tell her I had to go, and then you were there and then after that things go a little dark," he was rubbing his head. _That would be the point that I put a slight confundus charm on you._

"Yes, um, well. That's because I had to confund you, just a little, to get you to come home with me. Oh, and I used your wand to do because I couldn't get mine out of my boot," I said, really fast, hoping that he wouldn't understand me.

"You hexed me?" his eyes flew open, and he was staring at me.

"Trust me, it was better than me knocking her out and dragging you away from her. You were thinking about staying and continuing to snog her in the alley. I don't even want to think about where that could have gone," I shuttered at the thought, sticking my tongue out as if I had tasted something awful.

"I didn't think you had it in you," he was laughing at me now. "Good job Winnie!" _Of course he would think that my hexing him was wonderful. Warped silly man. _"Anything else happen that I should know?" _ Good, he didn't seem to remember the rest of the night. I wasn't going to bring it up either, he couldn't remember and I would just forget. I am glad that I didn't let it go any further, since it didn't seem to matter to Sirius anyway._

"Nope. Got you home, you fell asleep. When you head stops pounding, I would suggest a shower and then some toast. Can't wait to tell James about your night," I said getting up.

"Anwen, please don't...I will never hear the end of it," he pleaded with me. I couldn't help but smile.

"We'll see," I said, as I entered the kitchen. _Yeah, right, like I'd keep that a secret my friend._

**Sirius POV:**

_My best friend is getting married, tomorrow. I mean, I knew it was coming, but tomorrow. Where did the time go? James is so happy, but, are we really old enough to be getting married? Well, I'm not. I haven't really even dated much in the last year, it's just been too hectic. Snogged yes, shagged, yes; dated no. None of the girls seemed to hold my interest. _ I was standing in the alley, waiting for Anwen. I had stayed to watch the show tonight. I couldn't get enough of this one. She was perfect as the King's daughter, Cordelia, who would defy him to prove her love for him. _She is so like this character, they are both stubborn beyond words._ It wasn't just that, she was hypnotic on stage. Her grace and presence were so strong, and eyes were just drawn to her. It wasn't just me, the written reviews in the papers said it, the people leaving the theater at the end of the show would say it, even members of the cast would say it. _Speaking of members of the cast, there is that awful girl, Charlotte, that I made the mistake of kissing last week. She was driving Winnie crazy, taunting her that I had kissed her – big mistake. The taunting ended when I oblivated her. Winnie hates memory charms, but that girl wasn't going to let up, so I did what I had to do._ Just then, Winnie walked out of the door, her beautiful smile breaking across her face.

"I saw you up there, tonight. Were you there for the whole show? I didn't see you until the third act," she asked as she got close to me. The stage guys had let me watch from the rigging. It was my favorite location to watch from.

"Yeah, I like this one. You were amazing, yet again," I told her; she blushed, like I was making it up.

"Yes, because you are so objective. I think that I could stand up there and read the phone book, and you would think I was wonderful. Your opinion is somewhat skewed," she said, reaching up and tousling my hair.

"Come on, Lily is waiting for you. It doesn't look like Petunia is going to show up, her parents have talked with her, pleaded with her, but I think she is staying home tomorrow. Thankfully, that means that God awful husband of hers won't be there either. The man is less likable than a Dementor," I said, putting a hand on Winnie's back to lead her around to the back where we could apparate away from Muggle eyes.

"I don't get it. How can you treat your only sister like that?" It made her angry. We reached the spot at the end of the alley, behind the dumpster, that afforded us the most privacy.

"Well, at least she has you. You're a good friend," I said, putting her hand on my arm and instantly bringing us home.

"Delusional silly man, you don't really see me that well," she yelled back at me, as she ran the up the stairs. _No Winnie, you don't see yourself that well. You are the most wonderful person on the planet. My life would be so empty without you. _ She was back down in a few, with her suitcase in tow. I reduced both of ours, putting them into my pocket, we went out to the garage, and got the bike out.

"Why exactly are we taking this tonight?" she asked. I knew she hated to ride, I think I made her nervous with my driving.

"Because James wants to take a ride tonight, and since it's his last night as a free man, thought I would oblige," I explained to her.

"You know, he's getting married, not going to Azkaban," she said, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Well, you won't catch me doing something that rash," I replied, mounting the bike.

"You might change your mind someday, and I'll remind you of your attitude today," she said, laughing at me, getting on behind me, wrapping her little arms tightly around me, slipping her hands into the pockets of my jacket to keep them warm. We took off into the night. I loved to drive, especially the back roads that we would take to get to the Evans house. They had moved from Spinner's End to Winchester, to be closer to Petunia and her husband while Lily was at Hogwarts. I stayed on the ground when Winnie was with me, at her request. I would fly the bike to the Potter's once she was dropped off. _Silly girl, I probably fly it better than I drive it._

Lily was happy to see Anwen, and I bid her goodnight. If flying a broom was awesome, this was so far beyond that; faster and smoother. I landed not far from the Potters, and James was waiting for me outside. Remus and Peter were in the yard talking. I got off, and let him take the bike out on his own. I sat down with Moony and Wormtail, drinking butterbeer. After a while James came back, and joined us. The marquee was already up in the yard, the wedding would be here, since it was a Wizarding wedding, and it couldn't be at the Evans or in the church that Lily had grown up in. We talked until well after one in the morning, when Mr. Potter reminded us that it would be best to get some sleep before the wedding. We were all sleeping here tonight, maybe the last time that we would all share a room. A brief wave of melancholy swept over me.

The next morning was a blur. Mrs. Potter awoke us early, with jobs that needed to be done. The house was buzzing with staff that would be taking care of the wedding details. Remus and Peter were in charge of helping all the guests arriving, helping them find their seats, and taking care of their needs. My job was to keep James calm, and it was a challenge. Thirty minutes before the wedding, we went to go and get dressed. We both had brand new, very formal dress robes in black. There was a small knock at the door a few minutes later, and it was Anwen. She looked glorious in a dress that appeared to have been spun of gold. I knew that she had found it in some discarded costumes at the theater, and brought it home and altered it. She worked for weeks making changes to it, both with Muggle sewing and by having Lily cast some very fancy spells on it. I had seen it hanging up, but on her, it was even more beautiful. _She's not a little girl anymore. _She walked in and went over to James.

"Lily is here. James, she is so beautiful. She said that she will see you in about five minutes okay. She's safely in her little bride's tent, so you can go down and get ready. Congratulations, I am so happy for you both," she hugged him warmly, and smiled at him.

"You look very dashing Sirius," she turned and gave me one of her beaming smiles taking my hands in hers.

"Thank you, but you my dear are simply stunning," I didn't want to wrinkle her dress, so I just kissed her cheek. "The dress is amazing, but it is nothing compared to the loveliness of the one wearing it," there weren't enough words to describe her.

"Thank you," she took a deep breath to push down the tears I could see forming in her eyes. _What had I said that made her want to cry?_ "Get him downstairs in time, and make sure that you have the rings," she said, and then leaned in towards my ear, "Petunia didn't show, so you will be the only one standing up there with them," her eyes were still sad when I pulled away from her. I nodded at her.

I got James downstairs, and the ceremony went off without a hitch. Anwen sang three songs, each more beautiful than the last. There was such love in her eyes when she was singing, and she smiled right at James and Lily when she sang the last. I held her close to her through the reception, she seemed as though her emotions were right at the surface, and she seemed so vulnerable. We danced several times, just like we had at the Yule Ball.

She was keeping an eye on Remus and Eva throughout the reception. I had heard her arguing with Remus about his distancing himself from her once they had left school. Anwen thought that he was crazy for doing so. His argument was the same as always, she deserved someone better. I knew that he'd planned to break it off completely after the reception. He didn't want to jeopardize her new career at the Ministry over being with him. If Anwen had known, she would have been livid at him.

It felt so good to be holding her again. When we were at the club, the feel of her in my arms sent tingles through me. I'd never felt anything like it before, today it was the same. I didn't want to let go of her. It wasn't until she asked, that I remembered I needed to take her to the theater for the show tonight. When it was about ten minutes before she needed to report, I finally took her home so that she could change before going to the play that night. I got her to the alley with only one minute to spare, and then I went back to the Potters. I would take the bike back home before I needed to pick her up.

James and Lily finally left for their honeymoon. I knew where he was taking her, but she had no idea. When they had left, Remus and I talked for a while, reminiscing about our early days. We watched as the families started to leave, one of James cousins was feeling poorly, and several of the family members were concerned. I finally left, when the sky started to turn dark, knowing that the flight home would help clear my mind.

The next morning, I awoke late, and went downstairs. There was coffee made, so I knew that Anwen was awake, but I couldn't find her in the house. I checked out back, but she wasn't in the yard either. Finally, I found her, curled up on the front porch swing. She cradled the mug between her hands, looking off into space. She was so deeply in thought, but she didn't look happy, it was quite the opposite. I slowly opened the door and walked out onto the porch. I leaned on the railing, looking at her, but I wasn't even sure that she had registered my presence. After a few moments, I finally spoke.

"Hey, little one, where are you?" I asked her quietly. She shook her head, registering my presence. When she turned her head to look at me, the look in her eyes made my heart melt. She almost looked embarrassed for me to be seeing her; and then, it was gone. Her eyes went blank, even though she was looking at me. _What was that? What is she thinking about? She hasn't looked at me like that since last winter, when Matthew...but why would she be upset now?_

"Oh, sorry, just lost in thought. Did you sleep well?" she said, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, fine. Winnie, you looked a million miles away, are you sure that you are okay?" I asked, coming to sit down on the swing with her. She was still avoiding my eyes. She simply nodded her head. "You'll understand if I don't believe you. Come on, this is me here. What's going on? You've been distant all week," _all week, what happened a week ago. Oh no, is this because I kissed Charlotte? Maybe it bothered her more than she let on. _"Is this because of the club last weekend? Because I told you, I really don't remember it, and she was just there ..."

"This has nothing to do with Charlotte," she made a face at the name. _Was she really that bad?_

"Was it something else then? Were you upset that I drank ..."

"No Sirius. You were a happy drunk, and it was hilarious to watch you. It's nothing, please just let it go, please," she was begging me. _What the hell is it? She seems so lost or sad or something._

"Winnie, if something happened that has you upset, you need to tell me," I begged back.

"Sirius, everything is good the way it is, we have it all well defined and it should stay that way, so please, for me, just drop it," I could see the tears beginning to form in the corner of her eye. I opened my mouth to talk, but then I heard a voice behind me.

"Well, hello there. I knew that someone had moved in, but I didn't know that you would be so young. I'm Millie Couch, I live next door, and I just wanted to come over and say hello," the older woman was walking up the steps to the porch. Anwen immediately got up, and walked over to her, helping her up the last step.

"I'm Anwen Hodgson and this is my brother, Sirius Black. It's so good to meet you," she said offering her hand to the neighbor lady. I stood and shook her hand as well.

"Well, if you are brother and sister, why do you have different last names?" she asked us. _I don't know. _Panic was starting to set in, when I heard Anwen start speaking.

"I was adopted, then our parents were killed. It's just us now," _okay, that's a plausible answer._ The elderly woman came over and sat down on the swing. _Guess she is staying for a while._ I went back to resting on the railing and Anwen sat down on the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry dearies. Tell me a little about yourselves," she asked, looking at each of us in turn. Again Anwen started talking. She spun a great yarn about our going to a boarding school in Scotland. _Which is indeed true._ How I had just graduated, _also true_, but that I would now be going to University, and living in the house with my roommate when she went back for the new term. _Well, mostly true._ She even said that she was studying dance and music._ Again, mostly true._ Mrs. Couch told us a little about herself, and her life, and every time that she would try to ask questions about our lives, Anwen just redirected back to things she wanted to know from our kindly neighbor. She apparently was impressed with the care that Anwen had given the gardens, and wanted to know her secret. I had to turn my face away until I could suppress the laugh. _I don't think that the lessons learned in Herbology would be the kinds of secrets Mrs. Couch would want to have shared with her._ Then from inside the house, I heard something. It sounded like a phone ringing. _We don't have a phone. _

"Oh Mrs. Couch, that's our phone. I am so sorry, but I need to go. Sirius, could you help her down the stairs and then come in, we do need to get ready to go out, now," she said, getting up and running inside. I helped our neighbor down the stairs, and bade her goodbye, and followed Winnie into the house. When I was inside, I started laughing.

"Anwen, that story was amazing. You can't lie at all, how did you tell that story?" I asked her.

"I had to come up with a story for some people at work. I figured if I kept it consistent, I would have an easier time. It wasn't all a lie, I just left out some of the truth," she justified.

"How did you make the phone ring?" I asked her when my laughter had finally died down.

"Well, I have one here, I think that we should get a line installed, so I have a way to get in touch with you when I am out in the Muggle world. So I just send a_ wingardium leviosa _towards it, to make the bell ring. Do you think that it will register? I'm not supposed to do magic outside of school," she said, producing her wand from inside of her knee sock.

"You are one crafty little witch. No, levitating a phone bell isn't the kind of magic that will make the Ministry upset. Even if it did, Dumbledore would get the report and deal with it. So, are you going to tell her your garden secrets?" I had to ask her because I knew how she was getting things to grow so well.

"No," she laughed at me. "Our garden looks so good because I chucked all the garden gnomes from our side to hers, and then enhanced everything with a little dragon dung. Don't think she will find it at her garden supply store," things were finally feeling like they were back to normal, so I decided that I would ask her again.

"Winnie, what had you so upset earlier. Please tell me if I did something," I needed to know. I couldn't let things get messed up between us.

"Sirius, love, it's nothing. It's just me, and I promise that I am working through it. Just, please, drop it," I didn't like it, she was keeping something from me, but at the same time, I didn't want to make it worse by pressing her about it. "So, we have about a month until we leave for Italy. Anything you want to tell me?" I had been hiding most of the details from her, all she knew is that we would Portkey over and be there for two weeks. I had considered taking the a Muggle airplane, but the whole thing of taking her out of the country, underage, made me think again. Money can get you anything, including a Portkey to Italy. She would need to be ready for school before we left, since we would get back late the last day of August.

"Nope, nothing. Leave it all to me, I will just tell you what kinds of clothes you need to take. All right? I'm taking care of everything," I smiled at her, and she smiled back, clapping her hands lightly in delight. "Hey, on Wednesday, I need to go up to Hogwarts to meet with Professor Dumbledore. I'll be gone all day, will you be okay here by yourself?" I didn't like leaving her alone for such a long time, plus she would need to get from school to the theater on her own. I would be back in time to take her home after rehearsals and before the nights show.

"Sirius, I'm a big girl. I can be home alone for a few hours," she said, mocking me. "I'll see if Clara wants to go out to lunch before I go over for afternoon practice. What is your meeting about? Let me guess, you failed your NEWT's and you have to go back in the fall?" she said with a happy grin on her face.

"No, I will not be going back in the fall. I don't know which ones I passed or not, but I will most definitely not be going back in the fall. I just need to discuss some things with him. Nothing for you to be worried about," I kissed her head for effect. _She doesn't need to be asking questions about this._

"Okay, fine," she pouted. "So, what are your plans for the day?" she asked me. I just wanted to spend the day seeing her smile.

"I have none, what about you?" I asked her.

"Nothing until I need to be at the theater. It's the last night for Lear. We open Midsummer on Tuesday, and I get to be a fairy sprite, yeah!" She said sarcastically. I knew she wasn't happy about having to be a fairy in the next play, especially since she had to play off of "sweaty guy" for half of her scenes.

"It's not that bad, you're really cute in that costume with the wings," I teased her, she hated the costume too.

"Thanks. Come on, lets do something fun," she grabbed my hand and was jumping up and down on the balls of her feet.

"All right, how about a shopping trip?" her face lit up, she loved to shop, and on occasion, I could get her to buy something. I wanted to get another charm for her bracelet, for the house, I just hadn't found the right one yet, maybe we could today. _Whatever it was that was bothering her earlier seems to have gone. Maybe it really wasn't anything._

Our test results and her school letter arrived a few weeks later. I was happy that I had gotten five NEWT's, much better than I had expected. The celebratory trip to Italy seemed well deserved now. It was also an appropriate gift for Anwen, since she made all 12 of her OWL's, even with her taking them a year early. We were all impressed by her, as most of them were graded Outstanding.

James and Lily were settling into married life. James had taken Lily to the south of France, where the Potter's owned a small house, for their honeymoon. I easily forgot just how much money they had. _Like I should be one to talk. _James and Lily, as well as Remus and Peter had joined me at the most recent meeting with Dumbledore. _ I can't let Anwen know what I am doing now, she will worry too much, and I need to keep this war away from her as long as I can. I'll be so glad when she is back at school, and I know that she is safe._ Turns out that even with their advancing age, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were very involved with the cause. James and Lily had taken up residence in a small gate house on the Potter estate, trying to decide where they wanted to permanently live. The Potter family property was quite large, and even with James parents living in the manor, and James and Lily in the gate house, they all still have privacy. We all seemed to have found a pleasant rhythm to life, even with everything else that was happening.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**Strong Enough**

**Sirius POV:**

Anwen and I were both getting excited about the trip. I hadn't been to Italy in years, and Anwen hadn't ever been, so she was, well, more excited than usual. That's why I was so surprised when Remus walked into my room the night before we were to leave, Anwen's last night of the last play for the summer season. I was getting ready to take her to the cast party, when Moony knocked on the door.

"Moony, what's wrong?" I asked when I saw his face.

"Sirius, I need you to come with me. Mr. and Mrs. Potter have contracted Dragon Pox. Their nephew, the little boy who was sick at the wedding, had infected them. He's better now, but James' parents have gotten quite ill. James can't handle them alone, and he doesn't know how much immunity Lily would have, since she was Muggle born." Dragon Pox was a common childhood illness in the Wizarding world. Most kids had it by the time that they were seven or eight, and other than itching like crazy, there were few side effects. _I remember when I had it, I was five and Kreacher made these awful milk of young spider baths._ The problem is that as you age, you loose the immunity that you have built up. If you are reinfected it can be downright dangerous. James' parents were not young.

"Um, I am supposed to get Anwen in another hour. I won't let her walk home on her own..." w_e are supposed to leave tomorrow for Italy...but I can't leave James if he needs help..._

"We can send Lily, and then I think that they should stay here. You and I will be fine, we both had it as kids, but I don't know about either of them. We should keep them as far away as we can, just to be safe," he explained.

"All right, let's go, we can go to Lily first, and then over to the main house," I suggested and he agreed.

We disapparated from the lounge and were at the front door of the guest house in moments. Lily agreed that she would go and get Anwen, and take her things to sleep there. Her face gave away her concern. We promised that someone would bring news to the house when there was some.

**Anwen POV:**

When I left the theater, I was surprised to see Lily there. I knew that something was wrong, the way that her face was forced into a smile.

"Lily, please just tell me that Sirius is okay," I asked her, concerned at why she was here.

"Anwen, he's fine. James' parents have taken sick, and Sirius went to help him care for them," she was trying to stay calm, but I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Why aren't you there?" I asked her.

"I'll tell you once we are home. Your house is close right, I need to walk, I'm too upset to...us home," she explained.

"Yeah, it's only a few blocks. Come on," we walked away from the people and the theater, and we tried to make light conversation, but it kept coming back to Sirius or James and we finally just decided to let it go, and walk in silence. No sooner than I had opened the door and let us in, did she start telling me everything.

"James parents have come down with Dragon Pox. His cousin, Balthazar, was sick with them at the wedding. Apparently they had let the child lie down in their bed, before anyone knew what he was sick with," she explained. She told me about Dragon Pox, since I knew nothing about them. "It's bad, James was really worried about them. He, Sirius and Remus are taking care of them right now, but it's a full moon soon, and ..." she just started sobbing. We sat on the couch, I held her as she cried.

"Why aren't we there? I am sure that we could help," I ventured.

"Anwen, we were Muggle born, we never had them. If we were to get sick, it could be very dangerous for us too," her eyes looked so heartbroken. She knew that her love needed her, and there was nothing that she could do. We stayed there, holding onto each other, for hours. Just as dawn was breaking I heard a noise out the back door. Lily had finally fallen asleep, so I crept from the room. I saw Sirius in the yard, I flung the door open and went to run to him.

"Anwen, no. You can't come near me. I can't risk infecting you," he was whispering, but there was a sternness to his voice that scared me. I stopped in my tracks. I was on the small back decking, he was near the peach tree. His face was held taught.

"Sirius, how bad is it?"

"Bad. His parents are weak, and the fever hasn't broken. There is a doctor from St. Mungo's there now, but they are too sick to move to the hospital. I'm afraid..." his voice caught in his throat, and I could see that his emotions were getting the best of him. He loved the Potter's like they were his own family. The certainly loved him like he was there son, more so than his parents ever did. My heart broke for him.

"Oh, poor James. How is he holding up?"

"He's just trying to make them comfortable, and hoping for the best. Anwen, I am so sorry. We were supposed to leave today, and ..."

"No, I understand. This is far more important. Sirius...I'm so sorry," tears were falling down my face, and I could see how distraught he was. All I wanted to do was run and hold him, but I knew that I couldn't. We stood there, I was silently crying, both of us wanting the one thing that we couldn't do.

"I should get back, I'll have James come see Lily if he can. Someone will come with news when we have it. Take care of her, okay; and take care of yourself...love you," he added, sounding so weak.

"Love you too, be safe," I choked out. I watched as he went into the garage, and disapparated from there. I fell to the deck, sobs racking over me. _ I have to let them out before I go in, Lily will need me to be strong._ I gained my composure, and went back into the kitchen. I put the kettle on, before walking into the lounge. Lily was stirring, and I waited until she saw me before I opened my mouth. The look on my face must have said it all.

"Oh, my poor James," she said, before tears over took her.

Mr. Potter died that night, Mrs. Potter followed her husband by dawn the next day. The boys stayed at the manor, disinfecting the house and themselves before they would come to see us. The reunion between Lily and James was heart wrenching, and Sirius and I left them alone. When they were strong enough, they would head back to their house, but for right now, they just needed each other. Sirius and I sat on the porch swing for the longest time, not saying anything. Remus had taken off, we didn't know where he was or who he was with, but he simply said that he couldn't handle being here, with all of us.

It felt like too much, Remus father's death, the end of the school year, Mr. Black's death, the wedding and now James parent's illness and deaths. My head was spinning and my gut was stretched to it's limit. I felt like I was on a carnival ride, that kept going faster and I couldn't see where it was going next, or when it might end. The unsettled feeling that I had carried with me into the summer now overwhelmed me, and I just wanted to make it stop. I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I didn't want to wonder when the other shoe was going to drop. My breathing had sped up, like my body was running away from something, even though I was sitting still, but everything seemed to whirl around. The world had stopped making sense and it was like there was nothing to grab onto. Somewhere in all of this I started to sob, hysterically, and my breathing was completely erratic. My heart was racing in my chest. My head hurt, and my eyes burned, and I could hear my name being called but I couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from. It was all a blur and I felt like I was falling, and it was getting cold and dark.

Then it stopped.

There were rough hands on my face, and I was staring into those eyes, the ones that look like an overcast sky. He was telling me to breathe, "In and out, slowly now, come on, come back to me," my eyes had shut, and the darkness was soothing. "Winnie, little one, open your eyes. I need you to look at me," I complied. The cloudy sky was back, and he was stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. "Anwen, love, say something. Please," he begged.

"Sirius..." I whispered.

"Yes love, shh, I'm here. Calm down. It's okay," I eased myself into him, his arms wrapped around me and he continued to whisper in my ear. I breathed slowly, listening to his heart, his breath, and I ground myself to it. This was the only thing left that was real. I could learn to live with everything else, as long as I could stay safely here, as long as I had him.

We never made it to Italy.

I wouldn't let Sirius take me any father than the Muggle station. I couldn't bear the idea of him being on the platform, watching him seem to get smaller the train pulled away. I made him leave me, just before I went through the wall between platforms nine and ten. I had cried for the last few days on and off. Everyone was sad, Mr. and Mrs. Potter's deaths had hit us all very hard, and their funerals were so difficult to get through.

I had been brave while I was with him, but now, alone on the train, I was crying again. My body felt like it had been ripped in two. The urge to just close my eyes, and allow myself to get lost in my sadness was overwhelming. If I let the darkness overtake me, if I gave in, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. My heart and my mind battled for control, and I wasn't sure which one would win most of the time.

I fingered the charms on my bracelet, remembering each of the things that they represented.

_My Twelfth birthday, the beginning of the bracelet, with the little broom and the heart for the "voice of an angel". I was so excited. It was a gift from my best friend. In that moment, I had never felt so much love from anyone in my life._

_The golden snitch from the first Quidditch match that we won as team mates. _

_The ballet slipper from my solo, that silly, stupid, toe breaker of a routine._

_The Big Ben, from our touring that first summer holiday together, when I showed him the boot sales. He still loves to go to them, I wonder if he will go without me while I'm at school?_

_The star for my thirteenth birthday, which is indeed a diamond on there. Stupid stinky rich diamond buying guy._

_My little Christmas Tree, from that magical – quite literally given the tree – Christmas in our flat. That was the best Christmas I had ever had._

_My falcon, I didn't even realize that he had put it on there. It was there for two whole days. I can be so dense sometimes._

_The little comedy and tragedy faces. Opening night, my first summer in company. It was only weeks before...how fast that summer turned around._

_The waltzing couple, the Yule Ball. Going with him seemed like such a lame idea at the time, but it turned out so well. It was a beautiful night...sigh. Come on, you said that you were going to forget._

_The open book, for essentially skipping my fourth year. I went from third year exams to fifth. I was going back this year as a full sixth year student._

_The little house, for our little house. We had finally found this the day after James and Lily's wedding. He had been looking for something to remember our home with, and he was so happy when we finally found this. I own part of a house, it seems so strange, but it's my home._

_And my Owl. It's in honor of my OWL's, all of them. At least I was one year closer to finishing._

_Break out of it girl. This is silly, you still have friends, and you will play Quidditch again. Hey, you might even get to date a little since Mr. Overprotective won't be here to scare them off. Maybe? Let's find the bright side here._ I took a deep breath, and wiped my face off. My head was winning this time. With that, the door to the compartment began to open. _Well, it's a good thing you got a hold of yourself there girlie._ It was Katie.

"Anwen, omigod, I am so excited to see you. How was your summer? What did you do? Did you go to James and Lily's wedding, how was it? Was she beautiful?" _Okay, I now get why Sirius is sometimes freaked out by talking to me._

"Katie, stop, breathe," I laughed at her. _Those are the same words Sirius uses with me._ "My summer was good. I worked most of the summer. I did go to James and Lily's wedding, and it was beautiful. I have some pictures, would you like to see?"

"Yes, that would be great," she beamed back at me. As I was reaching in my bag to get the album, the door opened again, and Corinne walked in, along with a younger girl in tow.

"Hey guys, how was your summer? This is my little sister, Bette," we greeted the young girl, and she sat down with us. I got the album out, and we talked all about the wedding. I paused at the picture of James and Lily with his parents. _It was probably the last picture that they had taken._ I took a deep breath and went on. They oohed and aahed at Lily and her dress, and said how handsome James looked. They made dreamy faces at Sirius in his dress robes. _What is it about him that makes girls drool at his mere sight? _I rolled my eyes at them. In the back of the book, there was a picture of Sirius and I dancing. I forgot that it was there. We were looking at each other, his right hand on my back, mine on his face, our left hands clasped together and held high. He spun and twirled me around the floor.

"Anwen, your dress is beautiful, you look almost as bonny as Lily," Katie cooed. I told them about my how I got my dress, and they laughed, that I was the only person they knew who could find something that someone wanted to throw out, and turn it into something lovely. I thanked them for their kind words.

"Anwen, you are so lucky. The way that he looks at you. He is so in love with you. You have to be dating him now," Katie said, staring at the picture. The rest of the girls were nodding their heads.

"Nope. No dating. It's really not like that. He does love me, but he's not in love with me," I said, calmly. They all looked at me like I was crazy. I shrugged and shook my head. _ I'm not sure that I get it either anymore girls._

We talked about what they all did over the summer, and I asked Bette which house she wanted to be in, "Gryffindor of course" was her answer. I sat back, and listened to them for a while, but my mind kept wandering. The door to the compartment opened again, it was Ian.

"Hey spitfire," _He used the nickname James had given me my first year on the team._ "Glad to see you back. Ready for some hard work, we have many people to replace on the team this year?" _Don't I know it._

"You bet. Look, I wanted to talk with you about it. I was thinking that I might want to try out for Seeker this year, since Laura has graduated. Is that okay with you?" I asked him.

"Anwen, you were awesome when you filled in, I think you would be great. You'll have to try out, but honestly, I doubt that there is anyone better. We will need two chasers and two beaters though then. Keep your ears open, and let me know if there is anyone who you think would be good, okay. Oh, and do you think that maybe you could get some help from a certain flying whiz, if you get the spot?" he said, lifting an eyebrow.

"I think I can arrange that. His wife and I go way back," I chuckled back, and we were both laughing.

"Hey, I'll see you at dinner okay. Bye girls," and with that, Ian was gone.

I stared blankly out the windows for a while, and then I told the girls that I needed to go and take a walk. I left the compartment and started down the train. I saw other people that I knew, and several of them asked me about my summer. I saw Matthew quickly, and then he scurried back into a cabin. _Jerk._

I walked down a few more cars, and then something made my head pop up. It felt like I had been hit with a thousand sharp pins. I scanned the hall of the car quickly, and my eyes came to rest on a pair of pale gray eyes. There was familiarity in them, but something else that made me shiver. I stood there, locked into the gaze of Regulus Black for what seemed like ages. Neither one of us moving, I hadn't even taken in a breath. I finally sucked in air, but kept my gaze on him. There were several younger students in the hallway, and something in me gave me pause for their safety. I reached into my pocket to grab my wand, and held it silently at my side. _Your first course has to be to protect the rest of them._

The train shifted suddenly, and several of the other students lost their footing. The trance was broken, and Regulus turned and exited out the far end of the car.

My skin was cold, and I could feel my heart racing. I put my wand away, and tried to calm myself, but it was more difficult than I had imagined. _What is with him? He barely knows me, and Sirius isn't around anymore, so I really haven't done anything to him._

I went back to the car with my classmates, and we got into our robes. The ride up to the castle was filled with chattering and laughter, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't shake the coldness that lingered from my run in with Regulus.

During the feast, I sat on the side of the table where I couldn't make eye contact with the Slytherin table. I didn't want to have any further incident with them today. When the festivities were done, and we were about to leave the to go to the tower, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped at the pressure of it.

"Miss Hodgson, are you all right?" a familiar voice said to me. I turned and saw Professor McGonagall standing there.

"Yes Ma'am, just a little jumpy I guess," I replied.

"Oh, of course. There are two things that I wanted to ask you. First, will you be staying in the fifth year dormitory, or would you like to move up to the sixth?" I hadn't given this any thought, I didn't even know I could change dorms.

"Um, I hadn't really thought about it. I suppose that I would like to stay where I am. I have my friends there," I answered honestly.

"Yes, yes, very well then. Furthermore, I was wondering if you would have the time to work on some lessons with me privately this year. We don't teach much of human Transfiguration at school, it's just beyond most students abilities, but you are not most students young lady. I think that you would be capable of such magic."

"Professor, I am honored that you think that I could do it. Yes, I will have extra time this year, since I don't have to keep my best friend out of detention," I made the obvious joke. We both knew I was referring to Sirius and his rather persistent and permanent home in detention.

"No, I suppose you are right. All right then, we will start next week. Oh, and your Runes OWL score was quite impressive. The highest the school has ever seen," she said, with a nod of understanding in her face.

"Really? I didn't realize that," I said to her, sounding somewhat dumfounded.

"Really, congratulations dear. Have a good night Miss Hodgson, and try to enjoy school this year?"

"I will ma'am. Thank you," I turned and went upstairs.

My things were in the fifth year dorm, awaiting me, and I set about to unpacking. When I opened it, it became obvious that Sirius had repacked my trunk. He sent the over sized shirt from his uniform back with me, with a note attached reminding me to "cover up" if I wore it again. A new book, by a Muggle author that I had started reading over the summer was also included, and at the bottom, the afghan from the couch in the lounge. There was also a large box of chocolates, which I opened and dug in while I wrapped the afghan around myself, and struggled to keep from crying. _ You have to have fun this year, you have to get over it. It's only a few weeks until the first Hogsmeade weekend, then there will be Quidditch and he has promised to come for both things. Calm yourself down, and try to enjoy things._

Katie and Corinne came back in, and they were laughing loudly. The sound was infectious. We talked for a few more minutes, and then there was a rapping at the window. Katie opened it, and Midnight flew in, and dropped a small package and a letter on my bed. I gave her a treat, and sent her back out the window. I opened the letter, and smiled at what it said:

_**Winnie love -**_

_** Just so you don't get homesick. The house is already quiet without **_

_** you. I will see you soon, please remember to smile and study hard.**_

_** Always,**_

_** Sirius**_

I opened the small package. It was a framed picture of the two of us, sitting on the swing in the front of our house. I was tousling his hair and he was making a silly face at me, we were laughing greatly. I showed the rest of the girls, and they all were laughing at us.

"I don't know, I still think that there is something going on there," Katie said, grabbing her pajamas and starting to get changed.

"Katie I swear, there is nothing. Come on, let's get ready for bed," I grabbed the over sized shirt, and started changing.

Once classes started again, there was less time for me to feel lonely. It took a while for me to get my schedule organized. There was no way that I could take twelve classes and my private lessons with McGonagall. We sat for a good fifteen minutes before we decided that I should take Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy and Herbology. I enjoyed both Care of Magical Creatures and Astronomy; but Creatures was at the same time as Ancient Runes, which I had done exceptionally well at; and the lab for Astronomy made it difficult to study for my other classes. I didn't feel the need to take the Muggle Studies class, being a Muggle and all. I had only taken the Divination exam to appease Professor McGonagall's curiosity, and I was shocked that I had done well. I had faked all the answers, how I passed was beyond me. I would not want it as a NEWT. We had a new Divination Professor, and this upset her to no end. _Not sure I could take a whole class with her, she's a little...odd._ I had Tuesday and Thursday afternoons free, so Professor McGonagall and I could meet to do my special lessons. I ordered the few books that I still needed from Flourish and Blotts, and then set about to filling my mind with my studies, so that my heart didn't have time to take over.

Quidditch tryouts went well. I flew circles around the other three people who wanted to be Seeker. A third year named Bree would be a good addition to the Chaser line up, she would be able to work well with Cole, who filled in when James was in detention, and Beatrice. A fourth and fifth year set of brother, Jasper and Eli Wythe were great as Beaters, it was almost like they had some sort of sense of where the other was. I really felt great about the team. I owled Sirius when the list was posted. I also wrote to James to ask him for some help, and he agree to meet with me the first Hogsmeade weekend. We could meet for lunch, with Lily of course, then go and get me some proper seeker gloves, and come back to the pitch and work on my skills.

Studies were hard, but I was really able to throw myself into them this year. I didn't really know any of the sixth year students, so I studied by myself most of the time. School was definitely easier without the distractions. My work with Professor McGonagall was the best of it all. She was teaching me so much, and I was being pushed harder than I ever had. The only downside were my two classes with Matthew and three with Regulus. _That boy just creeps me out!_

One afternoon, I had gone down to the lake to study. It was a beautiful day, early in October, and it was quiet here. I liked to do my spell work for my private lessons alone, away from everyone else. I was sitting by the edge of the lake, working on changing the length of my fingers. It wasn't just making them pretty, like I did when I made a glamor as my nail polish, I was changing the structure of my hand. I felt something move behind me, so I froze, listening intently. More movement. My fingers wound tightly around my wand and I cast the spell in my mind, and waited.

Then a large, black dog lumbered over, and plopped itself down next to my leg and licked my face.

"Gosh, I didn't know that Hogwarts was letting in ill tempered mongrels now. You really should bathe more often, you stink Padfoot. Oh, and don't ever lick me again," I said, still looking forward, wiping my face off. _Good job, play it cool._

"You would think that I would deserve a better greeting than that. Ill tempered mongrel. I'll have you know that James thinks my temperament is much better as a dog than as a human," Sirius said back, his voice filled with mock anger.

I crawled over and climbed between his legs, facing him, looking him square in the eyes and said: "I have missed you more than you could ever know," and hugged him tightly. His arms wrapped around me and held me there. _ So much for cool._

"That's more like it." He was still hugging me when he asked, "What have I told you about coming out here alone? You really need to think about your safety." He sounded like an old man.

I pulled away from him, dropped my arms and sighed, "Sirius, I am still on campus, and when I heard you, I put up a shield charm. It wasn't until I saw it was you that I dropped it. Honestly, I am fine here, Hogwarts is the safest place on the earth. Hey, what are you doing here?" he twisted me around, and settled me between his legs, sitting sideways.

"I had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore, it's that stuff he has me working on. I asked if I could stick around for a while when we were finished. He agreed," Sirius let me know. _Yeah!_

"So, how long are you here for?" _Don't get your hopes up, don't get your hopes up._

"I figured that I would stay and have dinner with you. Remus is over with James and Lily. Neither of us cook very well, I miss having you at home," he confided.

"Glad to know that's what you miss about me," I said, filled with mock frustration. He never had gotten the hang of household spells.

"Okay, I miss your bright smile in the morning, and even the way that awful coffee smells when you make it. I miss the way your laughter rings in the house like a bell. I miss the way you would curl up when you were reading at night, and how you sing when you do the dishes, and the way you always would say goodnight," my throat felt tight and again, my eyes were burning. I couldn't say anything, "I miss the way that you make our house feel. It's not home when you are gone," his voice was very quiet. I couldn't find words to respond, so I just sat there looking at him.

An eternity passed before either of us said anything. I finally found my voice, and I needed to change the subject. "Um, can you tell me anything about these things you are doing for Dumbledore?"

"Well, can't tell you what, but I can show you something he taught me. Watch this," he pulled his wand from his back pocket, and gave it a flick. From the end erupted with a bluish white light, that sailed away from him and then suddenly, hit the ground on all fours. The thing turned and looked at me, it was a great white dog, exactly like his Animagus form. I stared at it for the longest time in amazement. Then it opened it's big dog mouth and said:

"Winnie, you should close your mouth before something flies in," it said in Sirius' voice, and then it laughed and disappeared. My mouth was still hanging open, when I turned to look at him. He put a finger under my chin and closed my mouth.

"Winnie love, your look is priceless," his bark like laughter filled the air around us.

"When did you learn to do a full Patronus Charm? How in all the sugared spaghetti pops did you make it talk like that?" I was in shock. _Sirius was excellent at Charms, but that was, wow._

"Sugared spaghetti pops? Honestly, that may be one of the grossest things you have ever come up with," he was laughing at me again. I still couldn't respond. When he finally pulled himself together, he looked at me.

"I've been working with Dumbledore on the full bodied Patronus Charm. The speaking part is his special addition to it," he explained to me.

"That's amazing. Sirius, I'm so proud of you," I did my little happy dance while I was sitting there. "I can only do a Shield Charm, and I am supposed to be really good at this stuff."

"I told you once that I was very charming," he said, lifting his eyebrows at me.

"Yes, you did. Can you teach me to do that?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, my dear. We can work on it sometime when I visit," he said.

"Yeah!" I did my little happy dance again.

"Honestly. There are days that I don't think that you have aged at all," I rolled my eyes at him. He hugged me tightly again. _Yup. I will be eternally eleven in his eyes. Swell._ "So, you've kept me up on your classes and Quidditch, what else is going on with you. Are there any boys that I need to speak to?" He raised his eyebrow at me and glared.

"Like I would tell you. I may have some hope of dating again since your gone," I sweetly sneered back. Actually, I had no interest in dating.

"Maybe my love, I want to keep you all for myself," he said, using his best flirty smile.

"Well, that's what Corinne and Katie seem to think. They are convinced that we are secretly making mad passionate love at every chance. It doesn't help that every time I turn around, there is a letter or a gift from you either. The self correcting quill however, is wonderful, thanks for sending it," I joked back at him.

"Well, tonight at dinner we will have to give them something to talk about. A nice big kiss in the Great Hall?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Come on, I've been told I'm quite good at such things."

"Well, yes love, I am sure that you have. You've had more than enough practice. I think however, I will refrain. Just what I need is to give your dear brother any more reason to loathe the ground on which I sit," I said, throwing away the part about his brother.

"What has he done?" Sirius was suddenly angry.

"He hasn't done anything. He's just, creepy. I've found him staring at me a few times this year. We have classes together, and it's just uncomfortable," Sirius had clenched his fists and his face was deep red.

"I will kill him," he breathed under his breath.

"You will do no such thing. Sirius, let it alone, please. Fight your own battle with him, not mine. Okay love. Please," he softened a little. "Come on, I have such a short time with you today, let's talk about something else. Anything else. How is Mrs. Couch?"

"She's fine. She brought Remus and I a pie. I think she was concerned because there are two young men living together in our house. It's rather sweet, she told me to tell you to do well at school, and she is still waiting for your secret for keeping the garden so charming," I laughed at the last part.

"Yes, well you really get around. You're dating me here at Hogwarts and carrying on a torrid relationship with Remus at home. Good to know that you're a switch hitter love," he looked at me puzzled. "It's a player on an American Baseball team that can hit either left or right," he looked even more puzzled. "My younger brother liked American baseball. Do you think that I would get in trouble if I send Mrs. Couch some dragon dung? Or maybe some newt skin, it really helped when I planted it near the peach tree," I fell into him laughing, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"You feel cold, here, put this on." I had only worn my uniform out, without a sweater. As the sun was setting, it was getting colder. Sirius took off his hooded sweatshirt and handed it to me. He was wearing another of the rock band shirts that I had gotten him.

"Cool shirt," I said mockingly as I put the sweatshirt on. It was warm from being on him and it felt good, even though it was huge on me. "Sirius what is that?" I said, pointing at his upper arm.

"It's nothing," he said, trying to pull the short sleeve down.

"That's not nothing. Don't even tell me that it's permanent," I said, getting annoyed. He had a tattoo on his upper arm. It was a symbol that I didn't know, but I did recognize it from Ancient Runes. _I wish I had my book here so that I could translate it._

"Anwen, it is. It's a charmed tattoo, it's supposed to help keep me safe," he said quietly.

"What would you need to be kept safe from?" _Of course he waited until I was gone to do such stupid things. Tattoos, really._

"Do you really have to ask?" he cocked his eyebrow at me and smirked. _Well, no, this was Sirius after all, trouble seemed to follow him._ "It was something that we did one night."

"Wait, all of you got them. You boys are nutters. Lily must have been thrilled," when he said 'we' I knew that this was a Marauder's thing. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I thought of all people, you would appreciate my keeping safe," he mumbled.

"Fine, I do. It has to be a testosterone thing. You wouldn't ever catch me having anything drawn on me," I mumbled under my breath. _Hey, he dishes it out well, let's see if he takes it as well._ "It's kind of sexy though. Makes you look even more dangerous, any other ink under there?" I said, giving him a sly smile, while trying to pick up the bottom of his shirt to look at him.

"Winnie, when did you learn to flirt?" he looked at me shocked.

"Sirius, years of living with you has indoctrinated me well," I said as seductively as I could, stroking his cheek with the back of my finger.

"Oh my, you are going to get yourself into trouble that way someday. Come on, lets go get some dinner, it's getting dark," he stood up, lifting me as he went, until we were standing side by side. "Hey, what was it that you were working on when I got here. You looked very intent."

"Some stuff for my lessons with McGonagall."

"You gonna tell me more?" he questioned.

"You gonna tell me about your work with Dumbledore?" I asked back. We had hit an impasse, and neither was willing to share. I nodded my head toward the castle.

"Come on, climb on for old times sake," he bent down, and I climbed onto his back. It had been a while since we had done this, and for a brief moment, I felt like we were back at that first night. Dinner was an adventure, to say the least. We came in, me still on Sirius back, wearing his sweatshirt, laughing. He swung me around, and sat me on the bench across from Katie and Corinne, then sitting down next to me, with his arm around my waist. They were so excited that he was there, and they kept pointing and giggling. Sirius did nothing to dissuade them of their suspicions, instead making it worse. He kept brushing my hair behind my ear, or reaching over to rub my back, touch my face, whisper something to me. He even insisted on having the elves make me some coffee to have with my dessert, which he wanted to feed to me. I drew the line there. "Stop it now, or I'll use Lily's charm on you" I whispered at him, staring lovingly into his eyes. He looked shocked at first, and then his lip cocked into his most dangerous smile.

"Bullocks! You have the most interesting way with words, my little one," we understood each other.

When dinner was over, Sirius and I walked out into the main hallway, his arm draped over my shoulders.

"Are you sure you can't stick around? You can sleep in the common room," I whinnied.

"No, I should get home, but James and I will see you next Saturday in Hogsmeade. Let me take you shopping please, the Gryffindor seeker should have only the best," he pleaded with me.

"You may go with me while I am shopping, but you will not be spending your money on me," he started to say something. "Forget it, we've had this discussion. You may need your money someday," then he did something completely unexpected. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me up and swung me around and around. I started laughing out of shock.

"Anwen, I love you with all of my heart," he yelled out.

"What are you doing?" I whispered in his ear.

"Look over by the door," he whispered back. There was his brother, looking furious. "Everything I have is yours. You are the love of my life," he said again, loudly.

"Would you cut it out," I hissed at him "You're only going to make things worse," _I guess that I will never date again. By tomorrow morning, people will be convinced that we are getting married. Maybe I should tell him that, wait on second thought, he would probably take it as a chance to buy me some expensive item of jewelry. _"Well, now that my humiliation is compete, can you put me down? Thanks for making me the center of this weeks school gossip. Lucky me," I said with fake excitement.

"You'll be fine. Let me know if anything else happens with him okay. I will see you in less than two weeks," he said, taking my hand, and walking me out the castle doors. We made it to 'the spot' on the walk, and he turned and hugged me again.

"I will miss you, and we will all see you soon. Keep smiling and try to enjoy yourself, please, for me. One of us needs to do well at school," I smiled at him.

"Fine. I'll miss you too. Say hi to Remus for me when you get home okay," he nodded and kissed my forehead. I walked back into the castle and up to the tower. When I got to my dorm room, my friends were waiting. They both squealed as I walked in. _Oh well_ I sighed in my head.

I was right, the rumor mill was in full swing. The whispering would stop when I walked in a room. Some girls glared at me, others looked at me in awe. Some boys looked at me completely differently, and I didn't like it. I knew that it had been blown way out of proportion when I went for my Thursday lesson the following week with Professor McGonagall.

"Miss Hodgson, I understand that congratulations are in order," she said as I walked into her classroom.

"Okay, for what exactly?" I said, confused.

"Why, for your recent engagement to Mr. Black," I doubled over in laughter.

"Oh, no, not the staff too," hard belly laughter was raking over me, and I couldn't catch my breath. "Sirius and I aren't even dating. He was just pranking my roommates. Honestly there is nothing going on," I coughed off between laughs.

"Well, all right then. Filius seemed so certain. Well, then, how have you been doing with the transformation on your hand?" she asked, and I was happy for the change in conversation.

"I can get it completely changed, even changing the color of my skin, but holding it is hard," I told her, taking my wand out and transfiguring my hand to show her.

"Miss Hodgson, that is very good. You are progressing nicely; the concentration will come with time. Remember, we don't usually teach this at all at school, let alone to someone who is fifteen. Now that you have your hand, let's work to move the spell up your arm," she commanded, and I followed suit.

My lesson lasted a little over an hour, and I was exhausted when it was done. We had Quidditch practice, so I headed down to the pitch when I was done. I wanted to fly a little before everyone else got here. It helped me to clear my head. Ian and I had worked a little on my ability to see and sense the snitch, so that I could get to it quickly. My flying was as good as ever. I soared over the pitch, going as high as I thought that I would have to when I would be seeking at a game. It was peaceful up here.

The rest of the team was soon there, and Ian was running drills with the Chasers and himself at one end, and the Wythe boys were working on passes at the other end. I had released the practice snitch and I was flying high looking for it. I caught site of it a few minutes later, it was low to the ground, and I dove for it. I had focused on it, and everything else was a blur. I had my hand out, reaching for it and then, I wasn't flying anymore, I was falling. My arm felt like it was on fire and my broom was no longer under me. I couldn't tell how far I was from the ground, but I knew that I was getting close. I hit the ground with a thud and then everything went black.

I woke up in the hospital wing, with the whole team looking down at me.

"Yeallck!" I kind of screeched as I opened my eyes. They were so close it was frightening. "Can I have a little space please?" They all backed up a little, and I looked at Ian. "What happened?"

"Anwen, I am so sorry. You just sort of flew into my path and I couldn't keep from hitting you," Eli said.

"It's okay. I was following the snitch and I kind of zoned out. How far did I fall?" I queried. Pain was beginning to race over my shoulders, back and head.

"About thirty feet. You hit the ground quite hard, and you hit your head. I carried you here. You know you don't weigh much of anything. Madame Pomfrey has healed the broken bones, but she is concerned about a concussion," Ian said. "Great captain I make. James would have never let you get hurt," he said quietly.

"Hey, you didn't do anything. Remember, I got beaned with a bludger when Maggie was captain," I said trying to make him feel better. "I'm gonna be fine."

"Yeah, well, your broom is going to need to be serviced as well. You snapped the handle," he said pensively.

"Great. So much for all the money I saved this summer. Maybe James can fix it when I see him on Saturday," I said, trying to sound hopeful.

"Move, all of you. I need to look at my patient," I heard Madame Pomfrey before I saw her. My teammates parted and she swept in. "Anwen dear, so glad that you are awake. How do you feel?"

"Um, a little groggy, and my shoulder really hurts still. I have a wicked headache too," I said.

"Well, that's to be expected. You have a concussion from your head hitting the ground. I healed the humerus and the clavicle bones, but I think that you may have ripped a muscle in your shoulder. It's been healed as best as I can, but it will need some more time to mend. Muscles are much trickier than bones you know. Now, the rest of you, out. Miss Hodgson needs time to heal," my team was leaving, all except Ian.

"Will she be able to play in two weeks?" Ian asked the school nurse.

"She should be able to. But no flying for a week. You need to let that shoulder completely heal before she risks it again. Now go, she needs to change and get some rest," Ian left, and Madame Pomfrey gave me some pajamas to change into, and some privacy to do so. I was easing myself back into bed, when I heard his unnecessarily loud voice.

"Where is she? What's happened? Madame Pomfrey," he boomed through the room, if I had been asleep, I certainly wouldn't be now.

"Mr. Black, keep your voice down, this is a hospital wing, not a sports arena," she emerged from her office, wagging her finger. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Professor Dumbledore contacted me when she got hurt. Where is she? What happened to her?" he was still quite agitated

.

"She is over here. Keep your voice down, she needs her rest. There was a collision above the pitch and she fell to the ground. I have healed her broken bones and knit the muscles back together, but she did sustain a concussion and I want her to stay here overnight to make sure that she has healed completely. If you keep your voice down, I will let you see her," the privacy screen was still up, so I heard them approaching before they got to me. When she moved the screen, he sped past, coming to grab my face.

"Winnie, love, I can't leave you alone for a minute can I? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" he was caressing my face, but looking over my body for signs of damage.

"I'm fine. I have a bit of a headache and I'm a little sleepy. My shoulder hurts too, but other than that, I am okay. Stop worrying about me. I was speeding toward the snitch and I wasn't paying attention to what was going on around me, stupid huh?" I said with a slight smile.

"Not stupid, but it was a bit reckless," he smiled at me. He took my in his arms, and nestled down into the bed, much like we did when I was healing from my surgery.

"I see that she is in good hands, but she needs to rest. Don't stay for long Mr. Black," with that, the school nurse left us alone.

"Winnie, my sweet little one, you have to stop scaring me like this. Now, rest. When you wake up we'll have some dinner. Shh, just rest," I felt safe, and comfortable, and it felt so much better to close my eyes. Sirius stroked my head and held me close, and before I knew it I was asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

**Shelter**

**Anwen POV:**

I awoke the next morning, feeling warm and content. _Wait a minute, where am I? My bed isn't this lumpy, and what is all of that noise? _I cracked one eye open, and my face was covered in thick, black hair. _Okay, not my hair, wait, I do know this hair, this smell, I know where I am._ My mind put the puzzle pieces together with a smile. I closed my eyes again and relaxed. _Can't wait to find out how he charmed his way into staying here overnight. _I laughed silently at the possible ways that this had happened. A large, calloused hand swept the hair from my face and a warm gray set of eyes were looking at me.

"I wasn't sure that you were ever going to wake up. You fell asleep yesterday afternoon and you haven't woken since. Are you feeling okay?" he asked me in hushed tones.

"Yes, better than yesterday anyhow. How did you stay here all night?" I whispered back.

"You were so soundly asleep I was afraid to leave you. After some coaxing by Dumbledore, I was allowed to stay, being family and all," he told me with a lopsided grin. "Anwen, dear, could we move now though, my left leg is throughly asleep?"

I shifted and he swung his leg down, grimacing as the blood rushed back in.

"James and Lily came to check on you, but you were out cold. The prognosis on your broom isn't good. James can't fix it. He took it to Hogsmeade last night when they left to see if the shop there could do anything, but I think you will need me to buy you a new broom," his voice had dropped on the "me" part, hoping that I hadn't heard him. I did.

"I suppose that you are right, but, **you** aren't paying for it," I said, emphasizing the "you" part loudly.

"Little one, why are you like this?" he whined, complaining. "I told you the money means nothing to me, and I don't want it. Please let me spend it on you. Come on, I owe you for not going to Italy," he said, making big puppy dog eyes at me. _Well, truthfully, they are more mangy big black mutt eyes in his case, but the effect is the same._

"You owe me for not taking me on **YOUR** matriculation holiday? There's no logic there Sirius. I said no. What time is it? I have Transfiguration this morning, and I am supposed to demonstrate my Animagus transformation for the class," I said, sitting myself up, nearly knocking him out of my hospital bed.

"It's still early, they only just would have started serving breakfast," he said, looking at his pocket watch, which he produced from his trousers. "Madame Pomfrey needs to clear you before you can leave, but you have plenty of time to go shower and change and get to class. I'll stay with you until you're safely in McGonagall's care," he said, getting up to go get the school nurse.

"Oh good," I said shaking my hands together as if I was excited. "Will you let me walk or will I be carried around the building?" I asked him mockingly.

"Winnie, really, I have reason to worry about you. You crashed into another player on a virtually empty pitch yesterday. For someone who can be so graceful, you really are a bit of a klutz. Now wait here, I'll go get you discharged," he said, walking towards Madame Pomfrey's office.

While he was gone, I attempted to change myself into a falcon. It had been a while since I had done it, and I didn't want to be anything less than perfect when I did it for class today; both Matthew and Regulus were in that class, and it would be advantageous to remind them both how good at this I really was. I said the incantation in my head, holding my wand. The change started, but then abruptly stopped. I tried again, and there was no change. What there was however, was great pain in my shoulder. Sirius and Madame Pomfrey emerged from her office and we walking towards me.

"Sirius, I can't change forms," I said, clearly alarmed.

"What do you mean you can't change? I've seen you do it at least a hundred times. You haven't ever had trouble with it," he said, his face contorted with concern.

"I cast the spell, and it starts, but then there is nothing, then my shoulder hurts."

"The tear in the muscle must be causing the problem. Give it a few days, a week would be better, and then try again. If you have problems then, come back and see me. It will be okay," she said to me kindly.

"Oh, all right," I said, slightly dejected by this. "I was supposed to demonstrate for Professor McGonagall today. I hope that she will understand," I said deflated by this turn of events.

"I'm sure she will. This is only temporary; wing structure is so different from an arm, that's why few people pick birds as their Animagus. Mammals are much easier," I looked at Sirius, and he just smiled at me, over the nurses shoulder. _I bet that he's thinking 'easy my ass' at that last comment. _ I grinned back at him. "Now my dear, how are you feeling?"

"I still have a little headache, and I'm hungry, but other than that, I feel fine," I told her.

"Then you are free to go, but if you get dizzy or feel sick to your stomach, please come see me right away. Don't do anything to re-injure that shoulder of yours," she admonished me, before taking her leave.

"I have to put my clothes back on Sirius, please turn around," I asked him.

"How do I know that you won't fall over putting your jumper on and hurt yourself again? You are rather accident prone you know," he said, smiling crookedly at me. With that, he pulled out his wand from his back pocket and tapped my head. I was immediately back in my dirty clothes from practice yesterday.

"Thanks so much," I said, until I looked down at myself. "You couldn't have cleaned them first," I said, trying to swipe the dirt off them. "Do teach me that spell too sometime, it will give me lots more time to sleep in," I said while nodding my head at him.

"You never sleep in, Winnie, against your nature. Come on, lets get you showered and down for breakfast," he held his hand out to me, and I took it.

"You know, the rumor is that you have proposed to me, I can only imagine what will be said about me now. Your rushing in here and spending the night. My virtuous reputation is shot," I said sighing, as we walked from the hospital wing.

"Really, marriage huh. That would indeed be the first thing that I would have done right in my life. Of course my mother would hate you, but she hates me too, so it's really no loss. You're a little shorter than I would want my wife to be, but you are beautiful enough, and almost devious enough," he was going into a long laundry list of reasons that I would make a good wife for him. I looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"Um, thank you I think, but do I need to remind you that these are RUMORS, and that they are not true? You're beginning to believe your own bunk dear boy," I retorted.

"Perhaps I am, perhaps not," he smiled down at me again. _He's just joking, don't think anything of it. That odd unsettled feeling from this summer was creeping up my spine again. GO AWAY! I yelled at it, and it settled back to where it came from. _I took a cleansing breath and shut all of it away. Suddenly it wasn't as much fun to have him here with me.

Katie and Corrine were excited that Sirius was in the common room when they came down, and they seated themselves on the couch with him as he waited for me. He gave me a relieved look when I came down, dressed for the day with my books in hand. He took my books and we all took off for the Great Hall together. He pulled me back, a few steps behind them, as we descended the stairs. He was complaining about their incessant questioning.

"You asked for it, the way you were acting the last time you were here. Now you know what my life has been like," I said back at him smugly.

True to his word, Sirius insisted that he accompany me to my Transfiguration classroom and stayed with me as I waited in the hall for Professor McGonagall. Both Matthew and Regulus passed us on the way into the classroom. Matthew shot past Sirius, with a terrified look on his face, and we both chucked at him. As Regulus approached, Sirius instinctively stepped in front of me. The brothers came face to face with one another, deathly cold stares emanating from them both. It was only broken as the Transfiguration Professor entered the hall and cleared her throat. Regulus entered the class, and Sirius stepped back to my side.

"Miss Hodgson, I wasn't sure that we would see you today. Are you sure that you are feeling well enough?" she asked me.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm fine. Madame Pomfrey did a wonderful job, but there is one problem. I injured the muscles in my shoulder and I can't do my Animagus today. She assured me that I would be able to by next week, but I can't demonstrate for class today. I am very sorry," I said apologetically.

"My dear, that's fine, we will just reschedule for next week. Now, Mr. Black, since you are no longer a student, and Miss Hodgson is up and around, I believe you need to be leaving the castle, now," she said sternly.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll see you tomorrow love," he squeezed my hand and strode off down the hall.

"He is very protective of you isn't he?" the professor said as he loped away.

"He is," I answered her. "If it were up to him, I would be in a protective bubble all the time," I said, rolling my eyes at the thought. "But, yes, he does care a great deal," my voice was softer now.

"Well, come on, I have a class to teach on Animal Transfiguration theory. Try to stay awake dear," she said, giving me a knowing smile.

"I will do my best," I said, smiling back at her as we entered the classroom.

The next morning, I was walking out toward the gates with Katie, Corinne and Beatrice. We were going to go do a little shopping together before I had to meet James and Lily for lunch. As we reached the gates, five figures stood there, waiting for me. I stopped walking and looked at them.

"Well, it would seem that my trip out of the castle today requires the full guard. Ladies, if you will excuse me, I think I will be otherwise engaged today," they all laughed at me, and kept walking. I just stood there.

"Winnie ready for a day of fun?" Sirius said as he walked toward me. I launched myself at him, smiling greatly. He scooped me up and hugged me tightly and carried me over to the rest of them. Lily gave me a sweet hug, even though I was still in Sirius' arms.

"We were so worried, are you sure that you are okay?" she was acting like a mother hen, examining me for obvious wounds.

"I'm fine now, it was a stupid accident. I was just intent on getting the snitch," I said, trying to explain.

"That's all well and good, but you have to keep an eye out on the rest of the players while you are doing it," James said, pulling my long braid that hung down my back.

"Thanks for that lesson Mr. Wonderful Flier. Any other words of wisdom you think that you could impart?" I retorted. Sirius had still not let go of me. I looked at him and humphed "Are you planning to put me down?"

"Not if I can help it," he said smiling and starting off down the lane. He shifted me around so that he was carrying me, bridal style, cradled in his arms.

"Sirius Black put me down, now!" I said sternly.

"Nope."

"Please, this is ridiculous. I am healthy enough to walk on my own. Let me down now. Sirius I swear to God, you are being so stupid. PUT ME DOWN!" I screeched at him.

"Fine, but if you trip, even once, that's it," he set my feet on the ground, but kept his arm around me, careful not to put too much weight on my sore shoulder. I turned myself around so I could see the rest of the group.

"Peter, how are you?" he smiled at me, that was it, just a smile. _He is really weird that one._ "Remus, I understand that you are keeping our dear friend here from starving. Thank you."

"Yes, well, it's better that I do it anyway. He blew the kettle up last week," Remus said with a laugh.

"You're calling me accident prone, and you blew up the kettle. How on earth do you blow up a kettle? You put water in it, you put it on the burner and turn it on. When it whistles you take it off. This is not that hard!" I said, staring at him, Sirius was looking straight ahead, not making eye contact with any of us. Remus pulled forward so that he was standing next to me, and bent down to my ear level.

"You forget to put the water in it, and leave it sit for an hour. It was a mess, there were bits of metal everywhere. It was quite commical. Mrs. Couch heard it from her house and came rushing over, worried that we had been bombed or something. Didn't have the heart to tell her that Sirius here can't even make tea, she would have insisted on feeding us on a regular basis," he was laughing. I could picture the old Muggle neighbor moving as fast as she could, and Sirius trying to explain to her what had happened. I was struck with great giggles at the thought. Sirius said nothing, while the rest of us erupted into great cackles. It finally died down when we reached the Quidditch Supply store. The first order of business today would be seeing about my broom.

**Sirius POV:**

We walked into the store, and James went immediately with Anwen to speak with the owner about the broom he had brought in on Thursday night. I listened as he explained that he had made some repairs to it, but that he wasn't sure how well it had been fixed. He thought that it needed to be taken out and flown to see if it handled well enough, but not being a Seeker himself, he wasn't sure what kind of steering was needed.

"Madame Pomfrey said that I shouldn't fly for a week, and I doubt that going up on an unreliable broom would be allowed. Anyway, super protective man over there would never allow it," Anwen said, looking over her shoulder at me.

"Here, I'll take it," James said, holding his hand out to grasp the handle. "Let me see what I think, and then we can go from there. Why don't you look around while I give it a spin, okay?" he smiled down at her with a look of concern. She nodded her head, but I could tell that she was anxious about it. James exited through the back door, with the owner, to the field behind the store. Anwen walked over towards me, where I was looking at Seeker brooms.

"Hey, there are some really good brooms here, why don't you have a look, just in case," I suggested, then I leaned down to her and whispered in her ear, "of course, we could special order something for you too, I still have all the information from broom maker who made your first one." I said hopefully, _please let me buy you a broom Winnie, please._

"I am sure that one of these will be fine Sirius. Let me see what I can afford," she said calmly, but with great conviction. _Why are you being so stubborn little one?_

"Winnie, we can afford anything that you want."

"No, I can't," her eyes flashed with fury.

"Why are you fighting me on this? I just want to have whatever you need love."

"It doesn't feel that way," she said to me through her clenched teeth. I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Remus, can you please escort Sirius out of here, until I am finished with my business?" she wouldn't make eye contact with me. She turned on her heels and started walking toward Lily. I went to reach out for her, but I felt someone holding my shoulders.

"I would let her go. Come on, let's go look around outside for a while," Remus steered me toward the door, followed by Peter. Once we were out on the street, he let go of me. I tried to head back in, but Peter got in my way.

"Move aside, Wormtail."

"No Padfoot. Moony is right."

"How is he right? He's listening to Winnie, who is being pigheaded and stubborn right now."

"Sirius, try to look at it from her point of view. You have everything, you bought the house, you have a full bank account, you have graduated and are moving on with your life. She is still in school and counts every penny that she has. She's been working since she was twelve Sirius; and she is constantly reminded that she is younger. It's hard to know that you are living off of someone else's good fortune, no matter how badly they want to share it with you. Let her have her pride. I know how she feels right now," Remus said. It had never dawned on me how she might be seeing my actions. _He really understands her doesn't he. They are so much alike._

"But I can give her the best. Why should she have to settle?"

"She doesn't see it as settling. She sees it as doing for herself. She's not a toy that you can play with. She has feelings, which she has completely surrendered to you, take heed not to trample them in your rush to take care of her," he told me calmly, his hand resting on my shoulder.

_Was that what I was doing? I would never hurt her on purpose. She was everything to me. What had started out as my need to protect her, had somehow grown? I wouldn't have been able to get through the last few years without her. She is the single most important person in my life. When I look at her, I see...what do I see? My future? She isn't a little girl anymore, she's a beautiful young woman. When did that happen?_ I found myself lost in thought, and leaned myself against the building, considering everything that Remus had said, and all the new thoughts spinning through my mind. After a few minutes, I had an idea.

"Hey, guys, there is something that I need to do. Wait here, and when I'm done, I'll find you. Don't tell Winnie where I have gone," I said, taking off down the street. I turned the corner up the street and found myself at the second hand store that James had told me that Winnie had found my watch at. I opened the door, and a kindly old lady was behind the counter. She greeted me and I explained what I was looking for and the enhancements that I wanted placed on it. She had the perfect item and she completed it and wrapped it up. I thanked her as I paid for it, and left the store. Everyone was in the street, crossing across from the Quidditch shop towards Honeydukes. I ran to catch up with them.

"So what was the verdict on your old broom?" I asked, moving my eyes from James to Anwen.

"They had done a good job, but it pulled to the left too much. When I went into a drive, I lost steering control, and that wouldn't be any good," James explained.

"So, did you get a new broom?" I asked, looking at Anwen.

"I ordered one. They don't keep Seeker brooms for short people in stock. It will be here in a few days, and it will be sent up to the castle. Get this though, there was a 40% off sale for students today, so I was able to order a really good one, and still be able to pay for it, myself," she said proudly. I looked over her head at James, with an inquisitive look on my face. _I didn't notice any sale signs._ He rubbed his fingers together to indicate money and then wagged them between the two of us, over Lily and Anwen's heads. _I see, there wasn't really a sale, we are supplementing her purchase. He must have talked with the owner while they were testing the broom. Suave, very suave._ I nodded my head in understanding. _ We all got our way, without Winnie thinking that she had been helped out._

"I'm glad that it all worked out. Did you get yourself some new gloves too?" I asked. She lifted her hand to show me the bag she was carrying.

"Yup. James said they were the best ones for me. I am taking his advice on this, since he is the King of all Quidditch!" she said, beaming at me and then him. _ I love her smile._

"Please don't encourage him; his head is big enough!" Lily said, looking at Anwen. They both laughed.

We shopped a little more, I bought her some chocolates, which she didn't argue with me about, and she went to buy some more stationary and quills for school. When we got to the Three Broomsticks, it was crowded, but James had reserved a table, in the back of the room for us. The owner had a bit of a crush on him, which he used to his full advantage. Once we had settled in, and we had ordered our food, I turned my attention to Anwen.

"How is your shoulder today?" I asked her, lightly rubbing my hand over where Madame Pomfrey had healed it.

"It's still a little sore. I wish I could see if I can transform, but she told me a week, so I have several more days before I can try again," she said back.

"Anwen, is there a problem with your Animagus?" Lily asked her across the table.

"Apparently the muscle tear made it so that I can't form a wing correctly. It's supposed to be temporary, so I'm trying not to worry," she said, trying to convey her hope, but I could still hear concern in her voice.

The conversation turned to other things, and soon our food came. Anwen's girlfriends came in, and when I saw them I leaned in close and kissed her head and stroked her back. They all broke out into fits of giggles at the sight, and I smiled at them and then winked. Anwen sighed and kicked me under the table, and explained to the rest of our group that rumor was that we were engaged. James, Lily and Peter laughed with me at the idea of me settling down, but Remus shot me a look of warning. It made my blood run cold for a moment. _Winnie knows it's all a joke right?_ I look at her, she was laughing, but she seemed somehow sad. Soon we were done with lunch, and everyone else said goodbye to Winnie, leaving us alone. She and James had agreed to meet for seeking lessons the following Saturday afternoon on the pitch. We walked down High Street quietly.

"Um, I need some more coffee. You can wait here if you want, I'll just be a moment," she said, coming to stop in front of the tea shop.

"I'll come in with you Winnie," I said, going to open the door for her.

"No, just wait here, please. This is where everyone goes for their romantic dates away from Hogwarts. There are enough rumors, we don't need to give them any more ammunition, please just wait here," she said, sounding exasperated. I nodded my head, and followed her with my eyes as she went into the store. My mind wandered as she was in the store._ We're the same people we were over the summer, but something feels different. How do I feel about my Winnie? What does she mean to me?_ I didn't even realize that she was back, until I felt her little hand in mine.

"Hey, where were you?" she asked.

"Nowhere. Just lost in thought. Did you get what you needed?" I asked her, taking her bags from her hand.

"Yup. Can make all the stinky smelly coffee that I need for a while now. Thanks for waiting for me. Anywhere else you need to go? I think that I would like to get back to school, I'm getting tired," she said. Her face was drawn and she looked overwhelmed.

"Come on, let's go back. Do you want to go up to the common room? I'm sure that I can stay for a while," I took her hand firmly in mine, and started walking toward the end of the street and the campus gates.

"No, it's Saturday afternoon; too many eyes," she seemed depressed somehow.

"Winnie love, I don't want to leave you yet. You seem so sad. Is everything okay?" I asked her.

"I guess everything has gotten to me, it's been a long week. I don't want you to go either, I'm just sick of all the talk at school. I'm trying to ignore it. I wish there was somewhere to go that we could be alone. No chance you can just take me home?" she had tears forming in her eyes.

"No, but I know where. Come on," I pulled her off the road and started across the field to the small house in the distance. "I happen to know that it's empty," I put an arm around her, and apparated us into the house affectionately known as the Shrieking Shack by the residents of Hogsmeade. I lead her up the stairs to the room that we used to wait out Remus' changes.

"Of all the places Sirius Black, this is the last one that I thought I would ever be at alone with you," she laughed at me

"Trust me, no one else will come in here. We can be alone for a while," I kissed her head, and did a cushioning charm on the ground and settled down with her. I put a warming charm on her as well.

"Thanks, I was starting to get cold," she said, stifling a yawn.

"Just rest little one, you've had a long week," I put my arm around her, and she settled against me chest. We were quiet for a long time, and I honestly thought that she had fallen asleep until I heard her say.

"Sirius, it's getting bad out there isn't it. I mean with the Death Eaters and with ... him."

"Yes, but, it's nothing that you have to be worried about. There are people working against him. You're safe at school, and when you're home, Remus and I are there. You have nothing to worry about. Now rest," I was stroking her head. The war was not something that needed to be of any concern of hers, at least not right now. Maybe someday, once she was done with school.

"If there isn't anything to worry about, why do you sound so concerned when I bring it up?" she asked me.

"Because Winnie love, protecting you is the only thing I've ever done well in life," _I hadn't meant to say that, at least not to her, not right now, but it was the truth._ I had screwed up so many other things in life, but somehow, I hadn't messed up caring for her.

"Sirius, you know that isn't true," she looked up at me with such love in her eyes. "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You are a good man," her soft hand stroked my face, and I was afraid that I would loose it from the power of the emotions in her eyes. _How did this precious, perfect girl see me as anything other than the screw up that I had been all my life? How could she love me, when I wasn't even sure if I liked me?_ I felt as if my heart would burst in that moment, just from looking into her eyes. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming, to take comfort in her, _but, this is Winnie. _I finally broke free of her gaze.

"I have something for you. It's just between you and I, no one else needs to know about it, so there won't be any more rumors," I reached into my pocket, and took out the little box from this morning. "Here, open it," I said handing it to her.

"What's this?" she said, her eyes filled with suspicion. "I told you not to spend money on me."

"Winnie, I didn't spend much. Please, just open it, and let me explain," she lifted the lid, and inside was an oval shaped pendant on a long chain. On the pendant, I had the same rune that was tattooed on my arm engraved on it. She fingered the symbol on with her thumb.

"Shelter," she breathed, before I could tell her.

"How did you know?" I asked her, again astounded by all that she knew for someone still so young.

"After I saw yours last week, I went and looked it up," she smiled up at me.

"It has a protection spell on it, just like mine," I said while touching my arm. "It will help me know that your a little safer. Please don't be mad," I begged her.

"I'm not mad. It's sweet really. Thank you," I hadn't known her to take a gift so graciously before. I watched as she pulled it over her head and slid it inside of her jumper, away from anyone else's sight.

"Right near my heart," she said, patting it lightly.

"Good. Keep that safe too, it's more precious to me than you know," I stroked her head until I felt her relax into me. There was nothing more perfect feeling than knowing that she was safely in my arms. I spent the afternoon thinking. All that she had said, all that Remus said, even the feelings that have been stirred in me needed contemplation. _What's happening? _ I let her sleep until it was nearly dark. She just made it back to the castle before curfew.

**Anwen POV:**

The next two weeks were a blur. My new broom came, and when the week long recuperation was completed, I was back up in the air. It was a great relief to me to fly again, especially on my new broom, which flew really well. Our first match of the season was against Slytherin, the one team that we looked forward to creaming every year. Their Seeker had graduated as well, but it was being held as a great secret who the new Seeker would be. I wasn't worried, between my skill as a flier, my new broom, and the awesome lesson that I had with James last week, I was confident that I could do this, and do it well. All of my friends, both current and former students were here to cheer me on.

Our team was announced first, and as we flew onto the field the larger part of the stands erupted into applause. I immediately did a quick fly by of the stands. Generally, the whole school would rally around whoever was playing Slytherin House. Things had become much worse lately due to the 'pure blood' mania that they were espousing more loudly. I wasn't sure where Sirius and the others were, and I preferred it that way, helped with my nerves. I did however find my dorm mates, with a huge banner, just behind the Gryffindor goal. They were screaming so loudly when I flew by that I was a little surprised. Then the Slytherin team was announced, and while no one out right booed at them, the sound in the arena quieted significantly. Ian was taking his place, and I had flown over by him. When we saw the new Slytherin Seeker, he immediately flew up to me.

"Are you going to be all right? I know that the two of you have a history," he said, worry crossing his face.

"Ian, don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I made eye contact with him, and a smile crept across my lips. Then I made eye contact with their Seeker. My face hardened. Regulus Black was the new Slytherin Seeker.

I kept my eyes away from the crowd, I didn't want to find Sirius right now. _This is my battle. He has no idea what he's up against. Game time, Anwen._

Madame Hooch reminded us of the code of conduct for the game, stressing the importance of fair play, for the benefit of the Slytherins I was sure. Then she released the balls. The snitch flew over to Regulus, and then to me, in it's magical way, recognizing us. It shot straight up into the sky, and I followed it with my eyes, until it was too high. I took off, accelerating quickly. I rose well above the pitch, allowing me to watch the game below as well as keep an eye out for the snitch. _Today, of all days, you have to get that snitch first._

We were silent for the beginning of the game, watching the play below us, simply choosing to shoot evil glances at one another, but when Gryffindor scored yet again, and the we were now over one hundred points ahead, I heard Regulus utter something under his breath.

"Filthy mudbloods don't even know how to play the game."

"What was that?" I asked, not making eye contact.

"I wasn't talking to you, you useless whore," my eyes flew open, stunned, and I looked at him.

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me. Anyone who'd be with my brother must be paid for their time,"_ I'm not with your brother. _The shock wore off of my brain. _ Wait, no one talks with me that way. This is a game I know how to play well, you can't live in a dorm with stupid girls and not know how to sling an insult._ A wicked smile passed over my face with that thought. _I wonder if you know how to play this one, little brother?_

"Seems you know an awful lot about it, is that how you get your dates? Didn't know that any pure bloods took up that profession, or is okay to slum it for a snog?"

"Shut your mouth!" he roared at me. "You know nothing of what this world is really like. Why don't you go back to your Muggle parents? Maybe, when order is restored, I can persuade the Dark Lord to let you keep your lives. Then we will see what kind of service you can be," he was arrogant. _Nope, don't think he does. All those years of stupid opera, dance, theater girls have finally paid off._

"If you were the last man on earth, I would just assume die than get anywhere near that mouth of yours."

"Don't worry, death can be arranged. I can't wait to see the look on my blood traitor brother's face when he watches your life fade away."

"You will never be half the man your brother is. How sad it must be for you, knowing that the only woman who will ever love you is your wretched bitch of a mother," I was speaking calmly and slowly, which was only making him more agitated. I flew to the other side of the pitch to look for the snitch again. Regulus was flying after me.

"Don't you ever speak about my perfect Mother that way again!" he screamed at me.

"You know, there is therapy out there to help cure you of those feelings you have for your mum. You should look into it," I said with fake sincerity, and again flew away. We were playing a game of cat and mouse, and I was in control. My eyes also never stopped looking for the snitch. We were up by only eighty points now. I needed to find the snitch before we lost any more ground.

"I don't have any feelings for my mum," he yelled back at me, again following me.

"Well, that's good, since I don't think that she is capable of having any herself," again, I zoomed away, darting myself between the players, and going low to the ground. He tried to follow, but wasn't really paying attention, and nearly tangled himself with one of his own Chasers.

"You know, the way that you are following me, I would think that your sweet on me. Aw, just want what your big brother has, huh. Must be tough to follow in his footsteps," I said sweetly. _This is just too easy. _ I flew away again. He followed again.

"Nothing that my brother has is of any interest to me. When the Dark Lord takes over, I will have all that I have ever desired in life," _oh please, who has been filling this kids mind with gunk. He really believes that crap. _I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, go on believing that, but do stop and ask yourself, how many conversations at home growing up started off with how Sirius had disappointed Mum and Dad, rather than how you had made them proud?" It was a low blow, but he had started it. He sat there, lost in his own thoughts, and I saw the snitch. It was in my hand before he even knew what had happened. The rest of his team went up to chastise him about his playing, and I was soon surrounded by mine, hugging me.

"What happened up there?" Ian asked me.

"Nothing. He started something, I finished it," I said, knowing that a sly smile had crept across my face.

"Well, whatever you did, do it again. He didn't even go after the snitch," Ian said, again taking me into a great hug.

The Slytherins flew down, and we all dismounted, and as was tradition, we were to shake hands. Honestly, it was more like touching a dead fish, they way that they held out their hands, but we made something resembling an effort. Once I had passed through the line, I turned around and hit Regulus square in the jaw. He fell backwards to the ground. "Don't ever call me a whore again," I yelled at him, and then started to walk away. _I am so glad that I had Remus teach me how to throw a punch over the summer_. Sirius and James were already at the edge of the pitch when I reached them. James took my broom from me, and Sirius grabbed my shoulders.

"What happened up there. Did he say something to you? Why did you punch him? You could get into real trouble for that," he said.

"Yes, something happened up there, and he most certainly did say something to me, but I handled it. I told you, it was my problem and I would solve it, and I did. I'll take the bloody consequences, we still won the game honestly," I said firmly. Sirius' face broke out in a huge grin and he threw his head back laughing. James followed suit.

"Good for you. I want to hear all about it," he said between laughs.

"That's fine, but I think that I need Lily to heal my hand first," I said, wincing from the pain that was climbing up my arm.

**Sirius POV:**

Before Lily could heal Anwen's hand, Professor McGonagall, Professor Slughorn and Madame Hooch were all rushing over. Anwen wasn't known for fighting, so everyone assumed that something must have happened. She explained the whole thing, including what my brother had called her. I was ready to go and pound him, but she made James take me away while she dealt with things. A few minutes later, Lily walked over to us.

"She got detention with McGonagall," Lily told us, "but I don't think that it will be a bad one. They were both smiling when they discussed it. All I heard was something about tea. She's up on the medical wing now. She's going to need some Skele-grow, the bones in her hand were broke." I started walking back to the castle, when Lily stopped me.

"Sirius, she really wants to be alone right now. She's embarrassed about what she did, it's not like Anwen to punch someone, especially out in public like that. Let her be, please."

"Lil, move, I want to be with her," I explained.

"I know, but she wants to be alone. Please, just respect her wishes for once," Lily begged. I didn't understand it. James must have grabbed my arm, because I was back in my own yard before I knew what happened. I moved through the house and sat down on the porch swing, thinking about Anwen and trying to figure out why she wouldn't have wanted me around this afternoon.

This week had been confusing enough. Since I had desperately wanted to kiss Anwen last Saturday things had been backwards. I couldn't get the memory of kissing her after the Yule Ball out of my head, and I realized that the feeling last week was so strong. It reminded me of what I felt when I was dancing with her at James and Lily's wedding. I thought that it was just the atmosphere of the day getting to me then. Maybe it was more.

Then it struck me like I had been hit over the head with a bludger.

I didn't know what to do what the things I was feeling. I'd never had something like this with any other girl, but it made sense with Anwen. It was like it had always made sense, but someone just lifted a curtain and I saw it and everything in the world was new. I got up from the swing and ran in the house. It only just registered that it had gotten dark at some point while I was out there.

"Moony, Moony, get down here," I yelled, thinking that he was upstairs. He came out of the kitchen holding a plate of what looked like rare steak and a fork. He looked worried.

"Padfoot, what the bloody hell has you screaming so?"

"I'm in love with Anwen."

"Yeah."

_That was it? Yeah?_ This was a revelation, an earth shattering experience for me. I had never been in love with someone before. Couldn't he see the importance of this?

"What do you mean, yeah? I just told you that I was in love with Anwen!"

"I heard you," he said calmly as he walked over to the wall and looked at the calendar. "Crap, Padfoot, why couldn't you have waited another few weeks to figure it out? I would have won the bet then." I looked at him like he was barmy. I just told him that I was in love with my best friend and he was worrying about a bet? Wait, what bet?

"Bet? What bet?"

"Come on, I'll explain everything when we get there." He put down his plate and pulled me out of the house and into the yard and then we were at James and Lily's cottage. We let ourselves in without knocking.

"Hey everyone," he said as we walked in. James, Lily and Eva were sitting in the Sitting Room discussing something. "Padfoot has an announcement to make."

"I...I'm in love with Anwen."

"Oh, thank Merlin you finally figured it out," Lily commented.

"About bloody time there buddy," James announced.

"At least your not a knucklehead," Eva threw out. _Guess that she and Moony are on the outs again._

"Wait," I told them to get them to be quiet. "You all knew?"

"Sirius, brother, we knew, she knew, heck half of England knew. Things changed between you and Anwen after Matthew dumped her. We were beginning to think that you'd never figure it out," James explained. "Lily where's the money and the betting sheet. We need to see who won."

Lily got up and removed something from a drawer in her desk that sat in the corner of the room. There was a very full bag of money with a sheet of parchment.

"October, who had October?" she questioned as she looked at the sheet. "Huh? Eva, you won the bet."

"Yeah," the witch cheered as she levitated the bag over to her. "Thanks, Sirius. There was a new dress that I really wanted, but I couldn't afford it."

"I knew that you'd won," Remus lamented as he sat down. "If he'd only waited a few more weeks, it would have been November and I would have won."

"Well, you know, if you came around more often, I might be persuaded to share." I couldn't believe it, she was leveraging dates with Remus because she'd won in a pool on my being in love with Anwen?

"Well, I totally missed the boat," Lily piped up. "I thought that it would be in July."

"Hold up here!" I yelled. "You all knew that I was in love with Anwen, and no one thought to tell me?"

"What good would it have done to tell you?" James asked. "You wouldn't have believed us."

"How do you know that?"

"Really, you would have listened to us if we'd sat you down and said: You're in love with Anwen and your ignoring it is killing her?" Remus asked.

"Uh, I, uh," I stammered. "Wait, what do you mean it was killing her?"

"Sirius, you were such a rake that last semester!" Eva scolded me. "You took nearly every other girl to the closets, except for her."

"I was just..." I started.

"Sewing your wild oats?" Lily finished the sentence for me. "Glad that's over, it was..."

"...disgusting." Eva finished hers.

"So, now that you've figured it out, what are you going to do about it?" Remus asked.

"I don't even know if she feels the same way about me," I thought out loud. I heard them all groan and shake their heads. "What?"

"Seriously, man, you are dense," James said with a smack to my head. "Of course she feels the same way."

"Oh." I thought about that, and realized I had no idea what I was going to do about it. I slumped down in the chair and then looked up at them. "Help me."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

**Surprise**

**Anwen POV:**

_**4 February 1979**_

_**Dear Sirius;**_

_**Hello love, how are things at home? Nothing much has changed here. The professors are really piling on the work, I guess since they know we have no where to go and nothing else to do, we may as well get lots of course work done. I have been working with my fifth year friends on their revisions and helping them get ready for their OWL Exams. We stayed up late on Friday practicing stunning spells in the Common Room. It's a good thing that I can heal bruises so well, or we all would have looked like some sort of inverse leopards on Monday morning. I wouldn't have relished having to explain that to Madame Pomfrey. I have spent more than enough time in the hospital wing for one year, thank you very much.**_

_**I got a letter from Lily yesterday, and she said that she and James have decided to move into the Manor House. I think that is best, after all he is the owner, and it has been nearly six months since his parents passed. They have invited us over for dinner the next time that I am home, which probably won't be until Easter, but anyway, it will be pleasant to spend some time with them.**_

_**How is Remus? I haven't heard from him lately. I understand last month was a particularly bad one. Lily said he was very restless and hard to calm. I wish I was there to help. Soon, only a few more months until summer, right.**_

_**We have suspended Quidditch practice until the weather gets better. No one wants to fly in strong winds and blowing snow, and since we are ahead in the Cup standings, Ian feels confident that we can pick up where we left off in the spring. Our last game will be against Ravenclaw, and they are by far the best team, other than us of course.**_

_**I am meeting with Professor McGonagall later today. Apparently, since I essentially skipped my fifth year, I never had my career planning conversation last year. We are meeting to talk about my options for after graduation. I not only have Wizarding options to consider, but the Opera has been pressing me to consider an apprenticeship with them when I turn eighteen. At least I have a few years to make a decision on that. Mr. Meriwether also let me know that I would be welcomed as a full member of the company upon my graduation, or even as a part time one, should that be better for me. I appreciate the offer, but I doubt that I will take him up on it. With everything that is going on in the world now, I just don't think that being an actress seems like the responsible thing to do. I think I can do something more meaningful with my life, not that acting isn't meaningful. Oh never mind, this isn't making any sense is it?**_

_**I miss you. Don't plan to come for the next Hogsmeade day, it's too close to Valentine's Day, and I just don't want to start the rumors back up again, now that they have finally quieted down. Please give Midnight a treat when he arrives, and he will be under strict orders not to leave until you write me back, and given his disposition, that could be quite painful for you.**_

_**Keep yourself safe.**_

_**Anwen**_

_**P.S. I got a letter from my sister, Liddy. She is now away at school in Bristol. She would like to come and visit this summer. I would like to have her, if it's okay with you, and Ma and Da agree. A.**_

I reread the letter, and then sealed it and tied it to Midnight.

"Don't leave until he writes back, understand." I said, looking at him. He cooed at me to let me know that he understood and I gave him a treat.

"Off you go then. Be careful," he flew out the window, and I got up to close it behind her. As I settled back down on my bed, and pulled out my Defense textbook. _The theory of it is still messing me up, can't they just let me do the spells and not worry about how I'm doing them?_ I opened it to the chapter on shield charms, and started studying. _Come on now, you have done a silent shield since you were in your second year, the theory behind it shouldn't be too hard. _ As I was reading though, I came to an understanding. In my brain, I saw the charms, not the theory. I visualized them. When I cast a shield charm, it was like I was creating a bubble around myself in my mind. I could see the bubble, it made me wonder if I could move it once it was cast. _That is something you should try. Maybe Professor Flitwick would be help with this._ I glanced down at my clock, and realized that it was almost time for my meeting with McGonagall. I put my book away, and headed down the stairs, through the common room and over to her private quarters. I knocked lightly on her door.

"Come in," I heard her from inside, and I pushed open the door.

"Miss Hodgson, right on time. Congratulations on your punctuality," she said smiling at me. "Come in and take a seat," I followed her instruction, and sat in a wingback chair across from her. "Would you like some tea?" She offered me a cup from the tea cart floating next to her.

"Oh, yes please. Black. Thank you," I said, taking the cup from her.

"Now my dear, we should have done this last spring, before you took your OWL Exams, but we missed it, due to your accelerated course of study. Not that it mattered, since you did so very well, but we should have had a plan in place before you chose your NEWT's this year. Now, I also know that you will have some choices to make in the Muggle world as well. You're quite a gifted young woman. Have you given any of this any thought?"

"I have. As for my 'Muggle choices' as you put it, I don't think that I will continue in either the theater or at the Opera. It's been wonderful, but there are other things that are more important. I can't help but think that there is true evil out there, and our world is threatened, it wouldn't be responsible of me to know that and do nothing."

"That's a very grown up opinion to have my dear. Too many full grown witches and wizards are far to happy to bury their heads in the sand and hope it all goes away. It shows the great depth of your character that you are willing to make this choice," she smiled at me. "So, that leaves you with a Wizarding career. You are very bright. Have you given it any deeper thought?"

"I have. I did some research, since I wasn't raised a witch," I took a deep breath. " I think that I would make a good Auror or maybe even an Unspeakable," I answered quietly.

"You do realize that either of those careers would place you in great danger. Chasing Dark Wizards or working in the Department of Mysteries at a time of war would put you at profound personal risk," she said solemnly.

"I've considered that, but in all honesty, I think that I will be in danger no matter what I do. Given my blood status, and my friendships, I don't think that there is any way to avoid that. Regulus Black has proven that this year. I would rather face this head on, and do what I can to help, rather than hide away and hope that I will be safe. Furthermore, I do believe that the staff here has had the same thought since I was young. Why else would I be taught Animagus transformations, Silent Spell Casting and Human Transfigurations while still at Hogwarts? It really is out of the norm," I had begun to put the pieces together as I spoke with Lily while I was home at Christmas. I was being groomed, but for what I wasn't sure.

Professor McGonagall was the Head of my House, and my teacher, but this year with our private lessons, I had begun to feel a shift in our relationship. I believed that there are the beginnings of a warm affection there. As she looked at me, her face confirmed this.

"My dear, you really are quite extraordinary. You are correct; Professor Dumbledore recognized the raw talent that you possessed when he first met you, but it was the strength of your character and your convictions that have impressed us all. So, which do you think that you would prefer to do? There is little information out there about being an Unspeakable."

"I think I would prefer to be an Auror. The fact that I was raised a Muggle, and still have my feet firmly planted in that world, my ability to function there could be a real asset. In addition, if I can get the Human Transfigurations down, I could be literally hiding in plain sight," I said calmly. Her face let me know that I was on the right track.

"You have also shown a great aptitude for languages, which could help you as well. Your Runes work is some of the finest we have ever seen, and I understand that you speak more than one language."

"Yes, ma'am. The training in the Opera school. So where does that leave me? What happens next?" I leaned forward.

"Well, the first thing I need to do is inform the headmaster, so that he can let the Ministry of Magic know that you are not only interested, but that you are well on your way with the training. You will need to continue in your current course work, striving to keep your grades up. We may also add a few more private lessons in the next year, if that's all right with you."

"That would be fine ma'am. I will do what is required, and do it the best that I can. Should I study over the summer? I plan to work at the theater again, and take dance and music, but I can change my plans," I said.

"No, my dear, you are still under age. Perhaps you can do some reading, but actual practical work would be hard outside of school. Your enthusiasm is wonderful, however. If everyone felt this strongly, _**He**_ might not have been able to make such inroads," she said, a scowl crossing her face.

"I do have one favor to ask. Please don't say anything about this to Sirius, or any of them for that matter. I need to tell him of this choice on my own. He is becoming obsessed with keeping me safe, I need to find the best way to tell him that I am going to put myself into the line of fire," I knew that I was pleading with her, but this was how it has to be.

"I will make sure that it is kept secret. I will however have Auror Roberts, the head of the department, come and talk some more with you. Anwen, I am very proud of the choice that you have made here. I do believe that you will make a fine Auror and be an asset to the department. Congratulations. Now, I believe that we left off on height changes last week. Have you made any progress?"

"Yes, ma'am, I have. I grew myself almost 2 inches, and was able to hold it for nearly an hour. I wish I could stay that way all the time. It was good to not be the shortest person for a change," I told her with a small laugh. We continued on my lessons for nearly thirty minutes and I was, again, exhausted when I left her office. _An Auror, I've made the steps to be an Auror. There will be no way to avoid the war now, not with this, but I know that it is what's right. It's always better to do what's right, rather than do what's easy. My Da would be proud, if there was some way to tell him._

_**March 14, 1979**_

_**Winnie love;**_

_**You have to tell that ruddy bird of yours to not peck me to death until I write. The most recent letter arrived on a night of a full moon, and I couldn't write back right away. I promise I will write, just don't encourage his nasty behavior, please, my fingers can't take much more.**_

_**I am glad that things are going well at school. It sounds like you will again ace your exams, but I would expect nothing less from you. **_

_**A letter arrived here via Muggle post. The letter carrier seemed a bit surprised to deliver it, since we get so little mail. I have enclosed it, but given the return address, I believe it's from your sister. As I said before, she is welcome here, but you never have to ask me if someone can come stay here, it's your home too.**_

_**Just to warn you, Lily has decided that we will be celebrating your birthday when you are here for Easter, since they are so close. Please be gracious, she is very excited, said something about being a "sweet 16" and some Muggle traditions that she thinks need to be upheld. Is there anything that I should know, things that families are supposed to do?**_

_**I can't wait to see you, the house seems too quiet with you gone. I will be in Hogsmeade in a few days, and I am taking you out. No complaining. I need to be off, I have a meeting that I need to get to. **_

_**Always;**_

_**Sirius**_

_**P.S. You still haven't told me about your meeting with McGonagall last month. I want to know your plans little one! S.**_

I folded Sirius letter away, I could write him back after dinner. I took out the enclosed letter, and looked at it. _Most definitely from Liddy. Know her writing anywhere._ I opened it and took out the folded paper inside. It was purple, her favorite color.

_**Anwen -**_

_**Da says that I can come and visit before I head back to Wales for the summer. When are you back in London? Are you still dating Sirius? He is so cute! Do you know any other cute boys? I can't wait to see you, it seems like it has been so long. Write me back soon!**_

_**Love you lots;**_

_**Liddy**_

I folded the second letter and put it away. My thoughts began to wander, and I laid down on my bed to think. _Was I that giddy at thirteen? How in the world did Sirius put up with me. I wonder if Professor Dumbledore will help me send her back a letter via the Muggle post, or do I need to wait until I go into Hogsmeade? I can't believe Lily wants to throw me a sweet sixteen birthday. It's not like I would have ever been presented to the Queen, even before they abolished the whole stupid tradition. Oh well, I guess if it means something to Lily, I should let her do it. I hope there isn't some stupid fluffy dress to go with it._

_How am I going to explain my decision to Sirius? He is going to be livid, I can hear him already. I'm not a child, I am making mature decisions about my own life, and he needs to understand that. Who could help me? Lily will worry and James will agree with Sirius. Peter isn't any help, I'm not even sure that he likes me, and he's been missing a lot lately. Remus. I know that he at least sees me as growing up, somewhat, maybe he can help me make Sirius understand. How am I going to get to him without Sirius knowing. I know, I'll write him a letter, and give it to him when he's here for Hogsmeade Saturday. I'll get Katie to distract Lily so that I can talk alone with Remus and give him the letter. Then he will be prepared when I spring this on them at Easter. _

I felt good about my plan. I wouldn't be alone in this, and hopefully, Remus would agree with my choice, or at least respect it. I set about to writing my letter, Hogsmeade is only a few days away.

_**Remus;**_

_**Sorry about the cloak and dagger earlier, but I do hope that you understand why I am confiding this in you, and only you at this point. I have made a decision about what I want to do after school next year, but I am sure that I am going to come up against some resistance when I make my wishes known.**_

_**I am going to become an Auror, if they will have me.**_

_**Now, before you go blowing your top, let me explain. My magic is strong, very strong. I am certainly smart enough, and my OWL's and hopefully my NEWT's attest to that. Additionally, I have been taking private lessons which will let me enter the program at an advantage. **_

_**I also believe that my being raised a Muggle, and my understanding of the Muggle world will be of great advantage. I can move about as a Muggle with ease. **_

_**This is what I believe I should be doing. I know that all of you want to keep me safe, but I don't even know if that is possible anymore. I don't want to hide, if this war is indeed coming, I want to do what I can. **_

_**I have every intention of telling everyone else when I am home for Easter. I would hope that you could keep this to yourself until then, and I do hope that you can see my logic, and choose to support my decision in this matter. I know that they are going to be upset, especially Sirius, but I think this is due to their seeing me as a child still. You have always treated me with respect, and I do believe that you may be the only one who doesn't see me as twelve anymore.**_

_**Thank you, in advance, for your consideration and help in this matter.**_

_**Affectionately;**_

_**Anwen**_

A little over a week after our meeting, I got a letter from an owl I didn't recognize at breakfast. I opened the parchment, and immediately recognized the rather messy printing.

**Anwen;**

**While I too would prefer something less risky for you, I understand your desire to do what you can, and I will respect your choice. I even find it admirable. I will help you in any way that I can when you get back to London. **

**Remus**

Okay, I had enlisted my help, so now all I had to do was gather my courage to tell them all. I was going home mid week, _I think it would be best to tell Sirius at home, when it's only the three of us there. Then I can tell everyone else after he has gotten use to the idea._ Maybe I can tell them when we have dinner together on Friday night. My 'party' will be on Saturday night and then we are hosting Easter dinner. I won't be returning to Hogwarts until Monday morning. _Yes, that will be best, give everyone time to adjust, while not ruining a party._

Wednesday after classes, I was headed down the walk toward the gates to Hogsmeade. Since the only classes that I had on Thursday were my private lessons, Professor McGonagall let me leave a day early. She knew that I was planning to share my news with everyone. I had met the Head Auror the week before, and he was thrilled that this was my intention and on behalf of the Ministry, welcomed me into my training a year before it would begin. He discussed some other private lessons that could be added to my seventh year work, that would accelerate my studies even further. _The need for dark wizard catchers is apparently growing._

Sirius was leaning against the gate, watching me walk towards him, smiling.

"What?" I asked when I reached him.

"Nothing. You just look different. Older or something."

"I think it's my hair. I transfigured the color, and I'm trying to see how long I can hold it," I had made it a dark red, rather than it's normal brown.

"No, that's not it. It's you, you look older," he took some of my hair in his hand and examined it, and then brushed it behind my ear. My skin tingled where he'd touched it.

"Well, I am nearly sixteen now."

"Sweet sixteen and never been kissed?" I rolled my eyes at him, because he was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You know that isn't true," I looked at him and slapped his shoulder. "Lily's been talking with you hasn't she? Please tell me she hasn't gone overboard," I begged.

"I don't think so, but she is really excited. She's making us all get dressed up for the whole thing, and has been cleaning the manor all week. Driving James a little barmy, really."

"Great. I'm thrilled. Come on, let's get home. I'm going to make you your favorite for dinner."

"Your famous sauce?" I nodded my head. "Oh my little one, I really have missed having you at home," he put his arm around me, and in an instant, we were in the lounge of our home.

Once I was at home, I put my things away and set about to making dinner. Spaghetti with roasted pepper sauce and meatballs, fresh bread from the little bakery on the corner, garlic green beans and a fresh batch of butter tarts. _I had better make sure he is happy before I tell him._ About halfway into cooking, Remus came in.

"Is there anything I can do to help? I can use magic to cook with you know," he said, smiling at me, leaning on the far counter.

"No. I really like to do it the Muggle way. It reminds me of being home with my family," I paused. "I'll need your help tonight," I looked at him with seriousness in my face.

"Are you sure that this is what you want? Be honest, no one is forcing you into this."

"No. It's my choice. How could I choose anything else, knowing what's going on in the world? My grandmother used to remind me, 'Of whom much is given, much is then required'. I've had a blessed life, been given many things, I think it's time that I start giving back."

"Alight then, I am humbled to be at your service," he smiled warmly at me, and I returned it. _At least someone is on my side._

Later that night, dinner was finished, and we were clearing the table. As I put the last of the dishes into the sink, Sirius came over and stood next to me, with his back to the counter, facing me. His hand brushed down my arm and he grabbed my empty hand. My heart skipped a beat.

"Want to go for a ride tonight? It's clear and fairly warm out?" he asked, hopefully.

"When do I ever want to get on that death trap? No, what I really want to do is sit down and talk with you about something," concern crossed his face.

"Winnie, what's wrong? Are you sick? Did my brother do something to you?" I shook free his hand and put my fingers over his mouth.

"Sirius, shut it. Every thing's fine, but you've been pestering me about my plans for after Hogwarts, and I thought I would let you know what I have decided. Come on, lets go sit down," I turned and pushed him through the door into the lounge. Remus was already at one end of the couch, reading, so I set Sirius down next to him, and then went to sit in my favorite large arm chair. Remus closed his book, and gave me a slight smile, to bolster my strength.

"Okay, enough with the secrecy. What are you doing when you are done at Hogwarts?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "I'm becoming an Auror."

"What?" he roared at me, standing. His face was contorted with anger and turning beet red. "There's no bloody way in hell that you're becoming an Auror. You could get hurt! You could get killed! The Death Eaters will think nothing of killing you, Anwen. No, you can't do it. I won't allow it."

"Sirius, please calm down," I asked him. "Lower your voice and sit down. Please," he sat down on the coffee table, his knees a few inches from mine, but his face was still taut and discolored. "You do realize that you can't forbid me from doing this? By the time I'll start the program, I'll be of age."

"Winnie, Aurors are the first line. They're the ones charging in. Their job is to capture the dark wizards. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"Sirius, I know that. I'm doing this because I can. Look, I really have thought about this. I've considered all the options and weighed everything, and this is what makes sense. I"m going to be a target anyway, I'm a...I'm a mudblood, and HE is targeting us. If I get trained, if I do become an Auror, then there is a chance that I can protect others who aren't as strong as I am. Face it, I'm one bad ass witch, and you know it."

"Yes, you are. Do you have to be in the front lines?"

"Who would be better? Sirius, I'll be safer than most. My lessons with McGonagall are on human transfiguration. I can completely disguise myself, plus I can change my form and fly away. It makes me safer than most in a dire situation. Furthermore, being raised a Muggle can help me here."

"How do you figure that?"

"Sirius, I can live in the Muggle world, as a Muggle, without any problems. I can be put in to do recognizance or be someone's protection without drawing attention to myself. Additionally, Professor McGonagall pointed out I speak an awful lot of languages, I can even be sent overseas if needed."

"Good. That's it. Let's go away, far away, somewhere you can be safe. I hear America is calm right now."

"Sirius Black, that has to be the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard! When have you ever run away from a fight?" I was getting angry now. He was being stupid.

"I will run far away if it will keep you safe. Anwen I lo..."

"Do you hear yourself? I'm not a child, and you do not have to protect me. Get over yourself. I don't need you to care for me. I need you to respect me. I need you to support me."

"I can't support you when you're being stupid," he yelled back.

"Oh, so now I'm a child and I'm stupid? I really must be, Sirius. I've hung around with you all these years. I don't want to be your pet anymore." I looked at Remus.

"You talk with him. I'm done," I started up the stairs. "I am doing this, with or without you. If you can't bring yourself to be supportive, then I'll find somewhere else to live. Sirius, let me grow up or be prepared to leave me alone," I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door.

_I am so angry with him. _I picked up some books that were lying on my desk, and threw them across the room. _I do appreciate all that he has done for me, for everything that he's given me, but I don't need to be saved by a knight in shining armor, or to be shielded from the world. I'm not even sure that I need a big brother anymore. _I flung myself on the bean bag chair that was in the corner, and threw my shoes into the wardrobe. _I want a partner. I want someone who sees all of me, sees who I am now, not who I used to be. Is he even capable of being what I need? If he isn't, I am strong enough to leave. This relationship is so warped. I swear it's like I am addicted to something, maybe it's the drama, I don't know._ I took a deep breath and held the heel of my hands to my eyes to stop the tears that were flowing now. _ Why do you have to be such a stupid girl and cry all the time?_ I couldn't hear anything from downstairs anymore, but I didn't really want to be with anyone else either. I got up after a while, and went over and curled up on my bed.

I awoke the next morning when the sun hit my face through the window that I had forgotten to shut the shade for the night before. I was stiff from sleeping all curled up and I stretched my arms out over my head. As I rolled over, I saw him. He was sitting on the floor, watching me.

"How long have you been there?" I asked. I was still feeling hurt from last night, I wasn't sure that I was ready to forgive him.

"All night. You were asleep when I came up here, so I just watched you. You're beautiful when you sleep. Your face is so relaxed, you look like an angel."

"Sweet talk isn't going to get you out of trouble. Are you going to support me or not?"

"Can you listen to me first?" I nodded my head.

"Anwen, the first time I saw you on the train, the second we met, I felt this strong need to protect you. It was like something in my soul was pulling me toward you. In all the time since then, the need has only gotten stronger. When I'm not with you, it's like part of me is missing. I don't know how else to explain it. I can live with the emptiness when you're at work or class or even away at Hogwarts, because I know that you'll be back. That I'll be able to hold you again.

"When you were so sick, I was afraid I was going to lose you, it wasn't just that I would lose you, I would have lost me as well. If something were to happen to you, if I had to go on without you, I know I wouldn't be living anymore, I'd just be existing. I understand why you want this, believe me I get it, and you're right and your reasons are sound. Winnie love, if anything happened to you... Do you understand?" His eyes never left me. I could feel the tears falling from my eyes and a strange noise slipped from my throat.

I slid off my bed, and onto the floor and sat myself next to him. I cradled his head in my hands, and stroked the hair away from his eyes.

"I will always come back to you. I promise, I will always come back," I pulled him to me, "I can't live without you either," I whispered in his ear. We sat there, holding each other. After a while we climbed back onto my bed, and I held him as he finally succumbed to sleep. Something felt different between us, but I couldn't figure out what.

James, Lily and Peter took the news better than I expected. They all exchanged looks, almost like they already knew what was coming. I didn't complain that there wasn't any drama involved. I was quite relieved at it. Friday night turned into Saturday. Saturday afternoon, I found myself in a guest room at Potter Manor, with Lily fussing over me.

"Lily this is silly. Why am I getting all dressed up for dinner with the six of you? Is this really necessary?" I asked her, as she was performing some charm on my hair.

"Yes, look, I think that it's a beautiful tradition to have a coming out, and even though there were only be a few of us here, you should have a night to feel beautiful."

"I'm not a Barbie Doll, Lily."

"I know that," she said, but she still worked and she wouldn't let me see myself. So I dutifully sat there while she flitted around, wand swinging and her free hand playing with my hair. She made me close my eyes when she took my bathrobe off and slipped a dress over my shoulders. "Okay, open up." I stood there staring at myself in the mirror. "Anwen, say something."

"Lily, is that me?" She laughed at me.

"Of course it's you, just a more grown up you," I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was piled high on my head with beautiful jeweled clips holding it up. The dress was spectacular, it was a peachy white that nearly matched my skin tone. My shoulders held thin straps and the dress simply hung from them. It fell over my body gracefully and hugged my hips. The skirt was at my knees in front, but hanging longer in the back. It reminded me of an inverted Calla Lily. I turned around, my whole back was bare, and the dress hung dangerously low.

"Lily, am I old enough to wear this dress?" I asked her. She laughed again.

"You look amazing. Happy Birthday Winnie. James and I really wanted to do this for you, for all that you did for the wedding, and for everything that happened, well, after. The dress and the party are from us, the other things are from Sirius," I looked at her questioningly. "You'll see later. Here, open this now, it's from James and I as well."

I took the flat square box from her and opened it. A beautiful strand of graduated pearls lay inside. "Oh Lily, I can't accept these, it's too much."

"No, you can and you will. They were James Aunt's, and he wants you to have them, and I agree," she lifted them from the box, and put them on me. The only other jewelry that I was wearing was my charm bracelet.

"They're beautiful. Thank you, thank you so much," I turned around and hugged her. When I pulled away, I realized that she was wearing a floor length purple gown that made her look spectacular. "Lily, you look amazing. That dress is perfect. James won't be able to keep his hands off you!" I smiled at her, wagging my eyebrows in a very Sirius way.

"He doesn't anyway," we both giggled at the thought.

"So, married life is good?"

"No, married life is wonderful. I think that I am more in love with him every day. It was hard at first, especially with everything that happened, but we're good now."

"Well, it agrees with you, you are glowing!" I sighed, "I can only hope that I will be so lucky someday."

"It would appear that you already do." I sighed.

"I know, and I am happy about it, but..."

"But what, Win?"

"It just seems to fast. Earlier today he was joking about marriage, but I don't know that it was a joke. My heart wants me to dive into this relationship and embrace it. My head is unsure of what's going on with us."

"It does, but my advice is to go with your heart on this one," she gave me another hug. There was a light knock on the door. "Come in," Lily answered. James walked in.

"I have never seen a more lovely pair of ladies in all of my life," he smiled at me, and gave his wife a peck on the cheek.

"Thank you," I said, blushing and looking at the floor.

"The rest of our guests have arrived. My lovely Lily, may I escort you downstairs? Anwen, please wait here for a few minutes, your escort will come and get you," I nodded my head, and James and Lily left me alone in the large bedroom. The house had two large suites, Lily and James had chosen the other one, since this had been Mr. and Mrs. Potter's bedroom. I walked around the room, looking at the old family pictures. _James was a cute baby. His hair was always that bad._ A knock at the door roused me from my daydreaming. "Come in," I called and the door opened. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was my Da!

"Da, what are you doing here?" I flew over to him, and threw my arms around him.

"That young man of yours and his friend brought us over. Can you believe it? Let me get a good look atcha. Oh my, that's some dress!" He said looking at me, with concern.

"I didn't pick it out Da. Wait, you said us. Is Ma here too?"

"All of us, your brothers and sisters and Ma and I. We're here until tomorrow night, the Potter's graciously opened their house to us. Anwen, you have really grown up. You are quite a young lady now."

"I can't believe it, my whole family is here," I was furiously fanning my face, trying to keep from crying.

"Anwen, we really are proud of you. You've balanced everything much better than your Ma and I could have done for you," he cleared his throat. "Now young lady, I believe that it's time for me to get you downstairs for this party. Come along," he placed my arm through his, and lead me toward the stairs. I was a little nervous about going down them, Lily had me in some seriously ridiculous silver high heeled shoes. _If I fall, I hope someone can cushion me._

Everyone was gathered in the entry way at the base of the stairs. My Ma's mouth hung open, and she mouthed "you're beautiful" at me. Liddy was smiling brightly and Islwyn was looking bored. _What do you expect, he's a ten year old boy?_ Haf was running around between people's legs and little Eira toddled next to Ma in her party dress. I hugged my Ma and looked at my friends. Peter blushed when our eyes met, and Remus simply smiled his warm smile at me. Eva looked like the cat that got into the cream for some reason, and Dr. and Mrs. Evans were here, proudly looking on. I couldn't find the one set of eyes that I wanted to see the most.

"Please, everyone, come into the ballroom. Mr. and Mrs. Hodgson, if you will please follow me," my father took my mother by the arm and Liddy lifted Eira up. Remus even helped by taking Haf by the hand and leading my littlest brother in. I was alone in the entryway for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned and was facing Sirius. He was wearing his dress robes from James wedding, and with my high heels on, we were closer to looking at each other eye to eye.

"May I escort you in?"

"Of course," I slipped my hand into his arm. "I can't begin to thank you and James. This is amazing. It means so much have my family here," I leaned over and kissed his cheek, and was choking back tears.

"I knew you were missing them. Nothing is too much for you, love."

I felt myself blush. I turned my eyes away from him and held them forward as we entered the ballroom. A string quartet was playing in the far corner. A large banquet table at had been set up along the windows on one wall and the rest of the room was left open for dancing. It was much to large of a room for such a small dinner party, but it was too beautiful not to use. Everyone was seated, with a seat at the middle of the table left empty, and the one right next to it as well. Sirius pulled my chair out for me, and pushed it back in once I was seated.

I had a hard time looking at him, every time that I did, I felt like my stomach would hit the ground. I couldn't really eat anything either. I simply pushed the food around on my plate and looked around the table and smiled at all the people gathered there. I felt a hand grab mine under the table.

"Winnie love, are you all right? You've hardly eaten anything." Sirius asked whispered in my ear. The way his breath felt on my cheek made my heart flutter. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but it was making breathing difficult.

"Er, yes, fine. Just excited," I said half heartedly.

"Are you cold? Your hand feels like ice." He went to take off his coat.

"No, no, I'm fine really. Will you please excuse me?" I quickly rose, and left the room. I ran upstairs and found myself back in the senior Potter's old bedroom. I was crying and I didn't even know why.

"Anwen, honey, where are you?" I heard Lily calling. A moment later I heard her open the door. "Anwen, what's wrong?" she asked, as she cradled me in her arms.

"Nothing, everything. I don't even know. Lily I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

I pulled away to look at her. "I think I'm scared of Sirius. That doesn't even make any sense does it. He's my best friend, we share everything, but right now, I don't know. I am absolutely going loopy here."

"You're not going loopy. I saw how he is looking at you tonight. Anwen, things are different, I'm sure of it. Look, I know you, I know your heart. You love him Anwen, you have for a very long time. Stop thinking so much and just let yourself feel for a change."

"What if I get hurt? What if something goes wrong?"

"You aren't going to know if you don't ever try. Come on, you haven't seen your whole family in years. Let's go back to your party, there is still dessert and presents and dancing. Remus promised Eva that he'd tango with her, which should be quite a sight. Maybe we can even get Peter to dance with you?" we both laughed at that. We came back downstairs, and I again took my seat.

"Everything all right?" Sirius queried.

"Yes, just needed a girl moment," I smiled back at him. He protectively draped his arm over my chair, and for the first time in a very long time, I didn't seem to mind his need to care for me. I closed my eyes and listened to the music and savor the moment. _I've always loved this piece, but I never heard the desire in it before._

After the staff cleared away the dinner dishes, a huge chocolate cake appeared in front of me. It was covered in a dark chocolate ganache, and my favorite caramels were arranged neatly on top. I looked over at Sirius, he was the only one who could have thought of this cake. He smiled at me, and rubbed my back, and when his rough hand touched the flesh of my back, I thought that I had been set on fire. There were sixteen beautiful sparkling candles on the top, and Haf reminded me to "make a wish" before I blew them out. When I cut the cake, warm caramel oozed out of it. It may have been the best pudding that I had ever eaten. When we had all had our fill of the cake, I opened my presents. Then it was time to dance.

My Da spun me around the floor to my favorite Bach prelude. I danced with James, who surprised me at his ability to waltz. We got Peter on the floor, for about thirty seconds, but seemed overjoyed when the music ended. Remus was a glorious dancer, light on his feet and gentle in his hold. He told me used to dance with his Mum when he was younger, and had always loved to do it. When the music ended, he spun me around, and gracefully directed me in Sirius' arms. I felt a shock pass through me when he touched me. The music started again, a string arrangement of a popular song from the fifties. I sighed at it, the perfection of the choice, and what I was feeling.

"May I have this dance love? I've waited all night to dance with the birthday girl."

"Of course," I put my hand on his shoulder, and he took my other one in his hand. He lead me around the floor, and I relaxed into his lead. "I really can't thank you enough. You've made my birthday wonderful," I rose up on my toes to reach his ear, "my family did it just right," I said, repeating his own words from his seventeenth birthday.

"I told you, nothing is too much for you," he leaned down to whisper to me. "I love you Anwen Hodgson, forever."

I felt my breath catch. He must have told me he loved me a million times over the years, but this was different. The way he emphasized the word love, the way he said my name, the way his fingers were caressing the small of my back and his lips were brushing my face. There was most definitely something different in what he was saying to me. The blood rushed from my face, and I was thankful for his arms holding me up, because I was sure that I would have fallen otherwise. I leaned my head into his chest and listened to his heart, as well as to the war that was raging inside of me. My heart was telling me to trust him, trust it, to just go ahead and feel. My head was so afraid that it would somehow ruin my one true friendship. I breathed deeply, finally letting one of them win.

"I love you too Sirius Black, with all of my heart." I said, no louder than my breath exhaling. He pulled himself back, so he could look in my eyes. I felt more vulnerable with him than I had since that first night, when we were at the lake. His eyes bore into me, but I didn't look away. Then I felt his soft lips brush against mine, I closed my eyes and gave into it. His lips were moving with mine, and I felt like I would explode. I didn't care everyone was looking at us, I didn't care that my head was screaming obscenities at me for being so foolish, my heart was doing back flips in my chest and my lips were on fire. Somewhere in the room I heard my mother gasp and Lily and Eva squealed and the guys making those stupid sounds that boys make, but none of it mattered. Sirius was kissing me, holding me. When it ended, I simply laid my head back on his chest again and we kept dancing. Two words filled my head repeatedly, _Now what?_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**Flightless Bird**

**Anwen POV:**

The "now what," from my birthday turned into _sigh._ Everyone stayed at James and Lily's house that night. After my family and our friends had retired, Sirius and I found ourselves on the couch in the lounge. The house was very quiet and we were just sitting there, relaxing. He kissed me again, and again, I felt as if I would melt into nothing. _How could I have fought against this?_ My skin tingled where he touched me, and I sighed when we broke apart from one another.

"I have one more gift for you," he said, brushing a loose strand of hair away from my face.

"All of this isn't enough?"

"I told you, it will never be enough," he pressed something into my hand. It was a small charm for my bracelet. I held my wrist out, and he magically attached it. It was a simple round disk, with a rune carved into it.

"Beloved?" I asked him, and he nodded. I kissed him again. When I pulled away, he took his watch from his pocket.

"It's a special charm, if you are ever in trouble, you can rub it and this charm," he said, pointing to an identical one on the chain for his watch, "will vibrate, and I will know that you need me," he said with such devotion and resolution that I didn't know what to say. He kissed me again, and this time, his tongue stroked my lips. Instinct told me to open my mouth, and I felt like I would explode from the sensation of his tongue against mine. _I never knew kissing could be like this. _He laid me back against the couch, his body covering mine, our mouths dancing. It was exhilarating and intoxicating and never had I felt so many things at the same time.

"Tell me again," I asked breathlessly when the kiss finally ended his forehead resting next to mine. Sirius held my face between his hands, his thumbs tracing the bones in my cheeks.

"I love you, I think I have always loved you."

"Really? You're not just saying this? You really love me as much as I love you?" I asked, afraid it was a dream or some sort of cruel joke. _How, with all of those girls that he's dated, how could he love me? _He smiled at me.

"Really, you really love me? You could do so much better than someone so...reckless," he said, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"Never, I could never do better than you. I love **you**, Sirius Black," I told him, my fingers tracing along his face. He pulled me close and kissed again, this time, I wasn't surprised by the dance our tongues did together. _ Oh yeah, I could get used to this._

The next day we took my family back into London and showed them the house. My father wasn't thrilled that Sirius and I were sharing a house._ I've been living with him for years, and now you feel like getting concerned Da? Why weren't you worried when I was thirteen and staying with him at holiday?_ He was relieved when he learned that Remus was living there as well; somehow living with two older men made it okay. I made everyone Sunday dinner before we had to put my family on the train to go back to Cardiff and Bristol. It was wonderful to see them all, and Liddy was thrilled that Ma and Da would let her visit this summer.

The term ended, summer began, and very little changed. I suppose that you could say that Sirius and I were dating, although our behavior wasn't very different from before we were dating. We would snog now, sometimes a bit, sometimes more than a bit, but we agreed that we needed to take anything else very slowly. Sirius had so much more experience than I did, so everything was new to me, and I was terrified of getting caught up in a moment, and doing something that I would later regret, or that would urge on this new aspect of our relationship that would make it hard to maintain. We were both afraid to screw things up. For the first time, Sirius wasn't being reckless, he was being careful – careful of me. We waded into the pool of intimacy very, very slowly.

I often felt like a fool, not knowing anything about sex. _That's not true, you know the mechanics of it, you had that stupid health class in Primary school; what I don't know about it how to do any of the things that happen before...oh Anwen, if you can't even think the word, how are you ever going to do them with Sirius? _I solved the problem the way I often solve my problems; I went to the Muggle bookstore and purchased some books. I also resolved that I needed to have a discussion with Lily about this, although I was struggling to bring myself to do so.

We did however, give up the pretense of me sleeping in my own room, and admitted that we preferred sharing a bed. It wasn't about sex, it was about just being close to each other. I knew that I felt much safer there. The rest of the world didn't exist when Sirius had his arms around me.

We toured a little around the city, and took a short holiday at the Isle of Wight, but generally, nothing changed. _ I understand now how people were so confused before._ As summer came to a close, my letter came from Hogwarts, and I was made captain of the Quidditch team. James and Sirius were more excited than I was, and they insisted that they work with me on a new team strategy. Ian and Cole had both graduated, but the core of the team was still there. I was able to find reasonable replacements for them both, and the team had really started to come together well.

The first Hogsmeade weekend was upon us, and I was greeted at the gates by my boyfriend. _I love the way that sounds. _ It was odd, this year we were dating, and no one said anything; last year, when we weren't, it was all anyone could talk about.

"Hello my love," he said, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeply.

"Hello," I sighed back when we broke apart needing to breathe again. "I've missed you."

"And I you. Where to? Home perhaps?" he said suggestively.

"I may be a seventh year, but I'm not of age yet, I can't leave Hogsmeade remember? Come on, I need to do some shopping," I took his hand in mine, twining our fingers together, feeling sparks shoot up my arm at his touch. "Maybe we will have time for a quick trip over to the Shrieking Shack, or you can come back to the castle with me later? I think we might be able to find one of your infamous broom closets."

"I like the way you think," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my neck and up behind my ear. _I can't think straight when he does that._ He refused to release me and began walking, somewhat awkwardly, behind me.

We shopped for chocolates and Quidditch supplies, and I bought some new stationary. Liddy and I had taken to writing each other often, and I needed paper that could go through the Muggle post. Sirius insisted that we stop and look around every store, even the jewelry store, but I wouldn't let him buy me anything.

"You need something to remind you of me," he said, sweetly.

"I have the bracelet," I teased back, jingling it in his face. I kissed him again, as passionately as I could while out in public. "Anyway, you're always in my dreams," and I gave him a sly smile as I bit my lip. _I happen to know that drives him wild._ He growled at the innuendo. I got more coffee, and we met James and Lily at the Three Broomsticks for lunch. A little after one, we left the pub with James and Lily headed away from town, and us headed back towards the school. Sirius was leaning down to kiss me again when we heard the explosion. It had come from the direction that James and Lily had gone off in. We both drew our wands and James and Lily had done the same thing I could see as I looked up the street.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," Sirius told me, running off down the street.

**Sirius POV:**

I ran down the street, towards my friends. "Did you see anything?" I asked them. Within seconds, Remus and Frank Longbottom were at our sides. They were both here on patrol for Dumbledore.

"I couldn't tell where it came from. Moody told us to be on the look out. Fan out and see if you can tell what happened. Report back when you find anything," Frank said.

Remus and I took off down an alley, but there was nothing there. We were walking back toward the main road when a silver-white stag galloped to us. "Found it, just an exploding cauldron at the stile at the end of the street. Come back," it said in James voice, and then it dissolved into thin air.

"I think we're all getting a little jumpy if we are rushing to investigate a student prank. We were the Marauder's after all," I said. Moony nodded his head in agreement.

We all met at the corner again, and Alice Longbottom joined us. Frank spoke again. "Good reaction time, and thankfully it was nothing. I think we should all remain on alert until we get the students back safely to school."

I felt it. Never once in the six months since I gave it to her, had she felt the need to summon me, but I could feel the charm on watch chain vibrating wildly. The watch itself was suddenly cold. "James, something is wrong with Anwen!" I said, taking off toward the place where I had left her. Her bags were on the ground. I picked one of them up.

"She couldn't have gone far. Come on, let's spread out to find her," James said. I ran down the right side of the street, opening every door to look in. I surveyed all the side streets, but there was no sign of her. The charm had stopped vibrating. I cast my patronus down an alley, but it fizzled into nothing. I was doubling back when I saw them.

James had her cradled in his arms, her right arm hung oddly from her body and she was wrapped in Lily's cloak. As I got closer I could see blood running down her leg and dripping from her head. "Anwen!" I screamed.

"We've got to get her to St. Mungo's NOW!" James yelled at me. There was a curse burn across her face. I felt numb. _I never should have left her._

"Remus, grab him. He may not get there without splinching himself," and with that, James, Lily and Anwen were gone. I felt Remus put his hand on my shoulder and the familiar pull into nothing.

The hospital intake was chaotic. James had laid her on a gurney and a team of healers was working over her. When they pulled off Lily's cloak, I could see her clothes were in tatters, and another curse burn cast a red pool over her stomach. I crumpled to the ground.

"Get him out of here," someone yelled and I felt two pairs of arms pull me up and drag me into the waiting room. Someone flashed a wand light in my eyes, and told me to put my head between my knees. I did what I was told. I don't know how long I was like that.

"Sirius," It was Lily's gentle voice. "Sirius, can we get you anything?" I looked up at her. Her eyes were puffy and red.

"No. What the hell happened?" I was looking at James, but it was Remus that replied.

"We were just talking about that. It would appear that the exploding cauldron was a diversion. Given what James saw when he burst in on them, she was indeed the target, they knew her by name," my eyes darted between them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, they called her Anwen, and mudblood and ..." James hesitated

"And what?" I yelled.

"...blood traitors whore," the blood drained from my face at the words and the room began to spin.

"Here, lie down before you pass out," Lily said, easing my head to the row of chairs. _This is my fault._

"I'm going to Dumbledore, he needs a full reporting," Frank said. I heard him take off for the apparition point down the hall.

"Sirius drink some of this, you need some sugar in your system to keep you from going into shock," Alice said, shoving a glass of pumpkin juice in front of my face. I took a long drag from the straw. "Come on, a little more, please," I complied. _My Winnie, my precious Winnie, what had I done to her? How could they? Who would do this?_

After a while, the healer came out. I stood to greet her, and she introduced herself, but I wasn't really hearing what she was saying, the words had no meaning. Thankfully, she spoke to both James and I.

"We've got the bleeding stopped, and we are beginning to heal the curse burns. The broken bones are knitting together nicely. She should make a complete recovery," I breathed in relief.

"Healer, was she...hurt...as a woman?" James asked. The question did make any sense to me, but as it did, my head started screaming _Oh, God, no, please no._

"We didn't find any evidence of that, however I think that they would have, given the chance. There are large bruises on her upper legs and her chest in the shape of fingers, and her knickers had been torn away," she spoke quietly. We were stunned into silence at the thought of this. My head had stopped working completely. _How could they want to take that from her? We hadn't even...we were being slow so it could be special. _There was a distant roaring starting in my head, and I could feel my breathing becoming more rapid. _No one is going to take that away from my Winnie._

"I do have a question though, there is a large scar on her abdomen. What caused it?" The healer asked, and her question brought me back to present.

"She had an intestinal infection a few years ago. Muggles operated on her. The scar is from the surgery," I told her.

"Would you like that scar healed as well?"

"No, she could have had it done at the time, but she chose not to," everyone looked at me. "Because of changing her clothes at the theater. Everyone knew of the surgery, having no scar would have been suspicious," James nodded in understanding.

"Let us know if she changes her mind. We can take care of it too."

"When can I see her?"

"It will be a while, she's heavily sedated. We won't know the lasting effects of the Cruciatus on her mind until we can wake her."

"She was tortured?" I felt sick to my stomach, and the juice that I had drunk came back up. The room was spinning. _They wanted to assault her and they tortured her? _The roaring was coming back now.

"Mr. Black, sit down now!" She pushed me down to the floor, while cleaning the mess with her wand. "Nurse, can you please bring Mr. Black a draught of Calming potion. Stay with him," I heard her say to someone. "Mrs. Potter can I speak with you?" She pulled Lily out of earshot, and someone leaned down and handed me a phial of potion. I drank it down, and immediately felt the effects. I could hear voices talking around me, but nothing they were saying made any sense. _You promised, don't leave me Winnie, don't leave. I'm so sorry that I failed you._

"Sirius, I'm going to have James and Remus take you home now. You need to get some rest. She'll need you tomorrow," Lily was talking to me and stroking my back. My head shot up.

"No. I need to see her," I yelled at her, getting to my feet.

"Sirius, you can't tonight. She'll be sedated for quite a while longer, and the healer thinks that it would be better if the first face she saw when she woke up was mine," she was speaking so softly and calmly.

"Why? Lily, this is Winnie, MY Winnie. I need to be with her."

"I know. However, she needs a woman to be with her when she wakes up. Professor McGonagall is coming up from school too. Do you understand?"

"No!" My eyes were burning, and my head was still spinning.

"Sirius, men tried to hurt her..."

"...and I'm a...oh God," the horror of it all struck me like a Stunning Spell. My fists clenched and my breathing was getting irregular. The roaring in my head became deafening.

"We've got to get him out of here, Now!" James had grabbed me by my left arm and was pulling me down the hall.

"We've got to find who did this and make them pay!" I roared. Remus was on my other side, pushing me now. I was getting angrier and angrier as the seconds passed. James yelled something to Remus, but I didn't understand it. My ears were ringing with the blood rushing through them.

A moment later we no longer in the hospital, but were in the back yard of the Manor. I was screaming. Loud, guttural noises were leaving me, and I didn't even know where they came from. I looked around and saw some chairs on the patio behind me, and I threw them, crashing them over and over into the ground until they were just shards of wood. Finally, the screaming subsided, and I fell to the ground breathing heavily with my clothes soaked through with sweat. After a moment, I heard footsteps.

"Here, drink this," James said, handing me a glass. I sat up and swallowed it down in one gulp. The Firewhiskey burned all the way down, but it was a welcomed respite from the pain that the rest of my body was in. He sat down on the ground next to me.

"She's gonna be all right. We got her in time. The charms on the bracelet and the watch seemed to do what they were supposed to do, it could have been much worse."

"It's my fault. They were after her because of me."

"No. It's not your fault. They went after her because she's a powerful witch, dedicated to good. She's faithful to Dumbledore and about to become an Auror; and, she's Muggle born. They targeted her because they believe stupid things, practice Dark Arts and have blind faith in a master manipulator."

"Maybe," I grumbled. _This is still my fault. If I wasn't near her, they wouldn't have gone after her. I am going to kill whoever did this to her._

"Sirius, you have to get over this. She is going to need you to be strong. She **will** recover, and she'll do it just to piss all of them off, she's one stubborn girl you know. Not to mention, she's a lot stronger than you give her credit for, she tamed you after all," I laughed at him, the sound seemed so foreign after everything that happened today.

"Who ever did this, is gonna have hell to pay!" I told him, looking at him for the first time.

"The deepest, darkest hell my friend. Of that I promise. Remus and Frank are with Mad Eye right now, trying to figure out how it all happened. They had to know that we would all be there today. Dumbledore is concerned, deeply concerned."

"Have they checked on her family in Wales?"

"Yes, the Order is giving them full protection now. Undercover of course. Tomorrow the wards on the house will be increased."

"What about her sister in Bristol?"

"Emiline Vance was just 'hired' as the floor matron. No one is going to get anywhere near her family."

"Good, now all I have to do is keep her safe."

"We will, brother, we will," he poured me another glass.

**Lily POV:**

It seemed like it had already been a long night in the hospital, but it wasn't very late. Alice stayed with me until Professor McGonagall showed up. She was going to see if Frank had found anything out, and then go and check in on Sirius and James, then come back and give me a report.

"She's just a girl. How could they do this?" The professor asked.

"I don't know. James thinks that at least one of the attackers was a student though. He's sure that he saw at least one Hogwarts robe on one of the attackers. The one cursing her."

"Does Dumbledore know?"

"Yes, he was going to look into it. You were already on your way here when Frank was on his way back to school to investigate."

The healer came out of the trauma department to greet us. "She's stable enough that we are moving her upstairs. She'll be in a private room there. She started coming around, and she's asking for Sirius. Is he still here?"

"No. I sent him home. He was getting too angry. He'll be back in the morning," I told her.

"That's for the best. I'll show you where she's going. Try to keep her calm tonight, but don't offer her any information. She'll remember as her brain is able, or she may never gain those memories back, her mind will protect itself. It's quite remarkable that she's doing as well as she is," we were in a long hallway with dim lighting. Her room was comfortable, more like a bedroom than a hospital room. It was in soft pastels with two chairs and a real bed with a fluffy comforter. A private bath was off to one side.

"She'll be here in a moment. Make yourselves comfortable, and if you need anything, please let us know," the healer left us, and we sat down. A moment later Anwen floated into the room, followed by a hospital staff, holding their wand aloft to levitate her. Anwen looked awful and was so still. Her wounds were healing, but they looked raw and the bruises were just starting to fade.

"Here are her things," he gave me her charm bracelet, a necklace and her wand. The wand was bent over to one side. "We disposed of her clothes downstairs," I nodded in understanding. I put her things on the small table next to me, and resumed my vigil with Professor McGonagall.

Anwen would stir occasionally, mostly asking for Sirius. I assured her that he'd be here soon, and she'd calm down for a while. Just after dawn, her eyes flew open and she sat straight up, screaming.

"Go get the healers," I said to my former teacher and she rushed from the room. I went to sit on the bed with her.

"Anwen, Anwen, it's Lily. Look at me, you're all right Anwen. Calm down," she stopped screaming and looked at me, her eyes wild.

"It was awful, the pain..."

"I know, but it's over now," I held her hands, trying to calm her down.

"Regulus was one of them. I am sure of it. And there was a crazy lady with a bad laugh. He called me the same awful thing he did at the Quidditch match last year."

"Shh, it's okay. I'll let Dumbledore know. Calm down," she was quiet for a moment, but then she pulled away from me and fell back into the bed.

"They targeted me. The first thing they did was grab my arm and twist it. Then I heard someone say 'Now, you can't fly away, filthy mudblood'," she curled up on her side and was quiet.

The healer returned, and began examining Anwen. She spoke nothing more. When the exam was done, she just laid down on her side again, pulling her knees to her chest. I took Professor McGonagall out into the hall and told her what Anwen had said when she had spoken to me. The transfiguration teacher immediately took off to speak to the headmaster. Alice came by, and told me all that had happened outside the hospital, and I let her know what I had just found out. She took Anwen's wand, so she could take it to be looked at by Ollivander. I knew from experience, that Anwen would be quiet if she was processing things, but it was still disconcerting to sit in the a room with the shell of my friend.

Sirius and James returned later that morning. Sirius rushed into the room and pulled Anwen up to him, cradling her in his arms. Anwen didn't move away from Sirius, but she didn't embrace him either. She just continued to lie there, silent, tearless. He was patient and gentle with her. He brought her favorite plays and sonnets and would sit there are read them to her. He held her when the healers came to make sure that her arm was healing correctly. He was even able to coax her to eat, which no one else was able to do, but otherwise, she just laid there. Even when she was eating, she just looked through us, like she wasn't really there.

Her broken bones were healed, and the curse burns had nearly completely faded by the second day, but we hadn't heard a word from Anwen; nor had we seen her react to anything. There was no fear, no anger, no happiness, no joy - there was nothing. Her eyes had dimmed from their bright spring green to a dull mossy color. She looked at no one, reacted to nothing; she just laid there, drifting in and out of sleep. The change in Anwen was slowly sucking the life out of Sirius as well. He wouldn't leave her, but it was becoming painful for him to see her the way that she was. On the second day, James forced him to go home for a few hours, just to get a break from the pallor that had descended upon the room.

After three days, she was released from the hospital. Her physical healing was nearly complete, her mind however, was still in a questionable state. No one was sure if she was silent due to her ways of handing difficult situations, or if the torture had somehow changed her. We took her to the Manor, and got her comfortable in James' parents old room. James and Dumbledore were strengthening the wards on the house Sirius and Anwen shared, so the Manor was safer now. Additionally, it was larger and could accommodate us all, so Sirius would have help caring for her. James, Remus and I quietly discussed what long term care she might need, if she never came out of the stupor she had slipped into.

That night, when we were sure that Anwen was asleep, Peter, James, Remus, Professor Dumbledore, Mad Eye Moody and I were sitting around the kitchen table. Sirius had fallen asleep holding Anwen, and we just let him be.

"So he never returned to school that day?" I asked.

"No. No one has seen him since, and all of his personal things have been removed from his dorm room. They were gone when we arrived to question him," the headmaster replied.

"Any guesses on who the crazy haired lady could be?" Remus asked.

"Crazy hair, wicked laugh, that he would trust? His cousin would be my first guess, but we have no proof," Mad Eye replied.

"What's more disturbing is that someone knew hurting her arm would keep her from transforming? I **know**, the only people that she told were Madame Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall and the five of us. I doubt that any of us would share something so personal, but they must have. Someone gave that information to a Death Eater," James said in all seriousness.

"Maybe they overheard us when we talked about it, we were in the Three Broomsticks after all, on a Hogwarts Saturday," Remus said.

"Perhaps, but someone still cataloged the information away. That was a year ago. The attack was well planned and executed. She was most definitely targeted," Professor Dumbledore added.

"What are we going to do to keep it from happening again?" A gruff voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Sirius standing there, leaning against the door frame. His clothes were wrinkled, and I was sure that he hadn't showered or shaved. His eyes were dark and foreboding. _James had always said that Sirius had a temper, but I'd never seen it. Somehow, looking at him now, it didn't surprise me._

"Sirius, I hope we didn't wake you. Can I get you something?" I asked him. He shook me off. "How is she?"

"The same. Maybe a bath or something would help. Maybe tomorrow you could ..." I nodded at him.

"Of course."

"Sirius, we will keep her safe," Remus said, methodically, emphasizing each word.

"We can't go back to school with her. When she's in London, she will never allow an escort. If we attempt to put one on her in secret, there will be bloody hell to pay. And the next time, they will come at her harder and stronger. This was personal. When she's an Auror, she will be wearing a bulls eye on her," he said with an angry affect. "I can't loose her," he added, in a near whisper, and I almost started crying from the fear in his voice.

"Mr. Black, she will be safe on campus. The rest we will deal with as it comes," the headmaster added firmly.

"Damn straight **I** will," he took a butterbeer from the icebox and sulked back into the darkness.

**Anwen POV:**

I can feel him against me. _Part of me wants to wake him, to wrap his arms around me, to feel his lips against mine, his weight upon me; to hear him tell me that I was beautiful and precious and that I was worth loving. The other part of is repulsed ...by myself. I can still feel those hands on me, touching me, I hear their words and their laughter echoing in my ears and ringing over and over in my head. My body hurts with the memory of the pain that they caused me. How could I ever tell Sirius, that when I looked into his eyes, I was afraid that the comfort that I had clung to for so many years might be gone; instead I was now seeing eyes just like his, but full of hate? How was he ever going to love me again? I didn't even want to love me now. _ For the first time in days I felt something. Rage. It was boiling up in me. Hot tears cascaded down my face and it was as if a dam had burst and everything was rushing back at me. It hit me all at once._ How dare they steal this from me. How dare they take away the one person that I had ever loved. How dare they hate me for who I was born to. _ I felt him stir, but I didn't want him to see me like this, I couldn't let him see me so weak. I pulled myself free from the sheets and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I took off down the stairs and through the hall to the great Ballroom. I didn't have a wand, _Damn it._ I flung open the draperies that covered the wall of windows and moonlight poured into the room. The little battery operated record player that I had given him for Christmas was sitting on the floor, with the box of records from home. He had hoped that music would bring me some comfort, I had barely heard it when he played it for me. I dug through the box and pulled out the Rachmaninoff. I tore the sleeve as I released the disk, and put it on the player. I danced the stupid piece with passion, throwing myself into it. It was hard without the toe shoes, but I didn't care. A toe nail ripped in half and I the pain surged through my foot, but I was thankful for it. At least it was different pain. When the song ended I was still in need. I threw another record on the player. It was the Beethoven Symphony # 9. I flung myself around the room to the music, waiting for the swells in the music to carry me away. I wanted to be somewhere, anywhere, other than here, but I was still here. I could still feel their hands on me and the echoes of the curses coursed through me. I wanted to forget, I wanted to erase what they had done to me, to make just go away; but it wasn't working. I couldn't loose myself in dance like I used to, and it made me even more angry.

The music was still too darn happy, even with the timpani rumbling under the piece. I ripped the record from the player and threw it to the ground. The disk shattered, but I didn't care. I dug through the box again, and found an old favorite. The Orff is loud and angry and fit my mood. My feet slammed against the floor, shrieking out in pain as I spun and leapt with nothing between them and the hard wood. I twisted my body as hard and fast as I could, until I couldn't hold myself together any longer and I fell into a heap, waiting for the music to swell.

As it did I screamed. It was painful and raw and I hurt everywhere from the power of the scream. It was like everything that they had done tore it's way out of me through my voice and when I could scream anymore, I laid there and sobbed. _I just don't want to feel anything anymore._

Despair crashed into me, like the angry tide ripping apart the shoreline. I wanted to run, I couldn't bear the idea that he wouldn't love me, that none of them would; given what had happened. _I am weak - I didn't fight back enough. I'm dirty - he isn't ever going to want to touch me again; no one ever will. I lost everyone because I couldn't make them stop. _I don't know how long I laid there, but at some point the music died off. I didn't care, I was spent. I felt myself slipping into the darkness, and I was too tired to fight it. I'd just slip away and be gone from this place, gone from the pain, gone from the memories of what they had taken from me. _You know how comforting the darkness is, you played in the edges of it's warm softness; just let yourself go and it will all be over, and you won't have to think about how you let them all down._ I was gliding into the tranquility of nothing when I heard it, another record was put on the player.

It was completely different. The opening guitar chords brought with them as much serenity as the arms that were now cradling my broken and weak body. I didn't need to look, I knew it was him. His strong arms willed me the power that I lacked, and I pulled myself away from the darkness that had nearly consumed me. He rocked me and caressed me, and the fact that his arms were holding me shocked and surprised me. _How is he able to touch me, after what I did?_

We listened to the music "...nothings gonna change my world, nothings gonna change my world..." he quietly sang along in my ear.

I turned to look at his eyes for the first time in days. There was no hatred there, only love and happiness. "Really?" Was all that I was able to utter, I was stunned into disbelief. _Is it possible, did Sirius still love me?_

"Really. Welcome back my love."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

**Seemingly Inevitable**

**Anwen POV:**

There was a sliver of light breaking though the crack in the draperies, and I could tell that it was day outside. As I opened my eyes, I saw him. He was sitting in the chaise that he had pulled toward the bed. His bare feet were toward me, and his clothes were rumpled and wrinkled. He appeared at rest, with my unabridged copy of Shakespeare on his lap. _My tether. There were times that I felt as if I would float away in the darkness, get lost in it, but he kept me here. No matter how far out I got, no matter how strained it was, his tether kept me here. Did he really still love me? Do I even dream that he does? _Whatever energy I had been moving with last night was now gone, my whole body ached and left limp.

"Sirius," my mouth was dry, the word barely came out, but he must have heard it. He quickly roused.

"Yes, love," he opened his eyes and came to the end of the chaise, dropping the book to the floor with a thud.

"What time is it?" I said blearily. He looked over my head to the clock that was on the top of the large wardrobe at the edge of the room.

"It's just after noon, love," he leaned over and stroked my face and kissed my forehead.

"Why did you let me sleep?" he chuckled at me.

"Because you were tired. How do you feel?"

"Hungry. Sore. A little confused, and I would love a shower, I stink," he smiled and let a little laugh escape him again. _ I wanted to ask him, I wanted to find out if he really was here because he didn't hate me, but I couldn't make the words come._

"We can fix all of that. Do you want to sit up?" I nodded my head, and he helped to sit up. Then he went to sit on the chaise again. My head was spinning and it hurt as I went to sit. _He moved away, that must be my answer._

"Why are you so far away?" I blurted out. Without the rush of adrenaline and anger my body felt limp and elastic, and I could feel the fear creeping up on me. _He doesn't want you, your broken and no good._

"I didn't want to push you. Is it okay?" I nodded a little, and he came and sat next to me with his arm around me. I leaned into him and the world seemed to stop spinning some. _Don't ask him, don't push him away. Ask something else, anything to keep him here by you._

"What day is it?" I mumbled.

"Thursday," he said quietly.

"Oh. I didn't miss much then."

"Um, no. Anwen, it's Thursday of the following week. You've been out of it for twelve days," I was stunned. It was nearly two weeks since the day in Hogwarts. Thursday, that would mean that it would be Saturday in two days.

"Quidditch," I mumbled.

"Okay, that is not the first thing you need to be thinking about," he chastised me. "James has gone up and worked with the team," I went to say something but he just kept on talking "he had permission. Bette, Corinne's little sister is a fine seeker. Please don't worry about Quidditch," I nodded at him, and then the words were tumbling out of me before I could stop them.

"You don't have to stay with me. Don't feel like you have to be here..."

"Anwen, where else would I be?" he asked me, dumbfounded. "You're the only thing that matters, and you're awake. Where would I be going?" He had put his hands on my face and turned it so that I was looking at him. I kept my eyes from his, afraid of what I was going to see. "Look at me, please love," he asked and I did what he wanted. My bottom lip was quivering and I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes. "I've been waiting to see your beautiful eyes looking at me for days, and you're finally back. A wild hippogriff couldn't tear me away from you," he swore to me, and then he leaned down, his lips ghosting across mine and I let go of the breath I was holding. "If that's okay with you?"

"It's all right," I said with a smile. "Can you help me downstairs?" He looked at me puzzled. "I'm hungry," he smiled at me again. I eased myself to the side of the bed and put my feet on the floor. As I tried to stand, I felt myself buckle under. Sirius lifted me and cradled me to him, and carried me downstairs. His arms felt like heaven around me. _He's not leaving, he's not leaving._ I repeated over and over in my mind as we went downstairs. It felt like too much to believe in.

Lily was seated at the kitchen table, reading the paper with her back to the door. She must have heard Sirius come down the stairs, because she yelled over her shoulder without lifting her head.

"How is she today?"

"I'm fine, just a little hungry," I replied from safely nestled near Sirius chest.

"Anwen!" She flew up from her chair and came over to me. Her soft fingers pushed the hair back from my face. "We were all so worried. We were afraid that we would have to put you back in hospital."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Come on now, what would you like?" We walked back toward the table and Sirius sat me down in a chair, then he pulled another one close and sat down as well. He kept his arm around me, and I leaned into him.

"Whatever. Don't go to any trouble," Lily set the kettle on and busied herself making something for me to eat. I sat there for a moment trying to gather my thoughts. "Lily how much did I tell you in hospital?" She turned to look at me.

"Not much," I felt Sirius tense against me.

"Does Professor Dumbledore know?"

"I told him everything you said," I could feel Sirius moving his head between Lily and I. "Sirius, there are some things we kept from you. You were so distraught and you needed to be here with Anwen. Please don't be mad," Lily said, pleading with him.

"What things?" He asked, warily. I put my hand on his cheek and made him look at me.

"I will tell you everything, but I only want to do it once, okay," I coaxed him forward and gently put my lips to his. _I missed the way his lips felt. He's not leaving, I get to feel them over and over. _I kissed him and breathed deeply when the kiss ended. "Let me gather my thoughts, and I will tell you them all, I promise," he nodded at me. "Lily, can you see if Professor Dumbledore can come by tonight. I think that James should be there too, I might need his help."

"Of course. I'll owl Frank Longbottom too," she said.

"Who?"

"He's an Auror. He's taken the lead on your case. He's a good guy, a few years ahead of us, he and his wife Alice were Gryffindors too. They would have been seventh year your first," I nodded at her. Lily gave me some tea and toast, and I ate it down. It helped, and by the time that I was finished, I thought that I could walk upstairs on my own.

"I need to shower, but I'm worried to do it alone. I don't think I should ask Sirius to help..." I rolled my eyes. She smiled back. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all. Come on, let's get you cleaned up. We can get some clean clothes on you and change your sheets as well."

The three of us went upstairs, and Lily helped me get clean. I saw no visible scars from the attack. Only the long red line on my abdomen remained. I was amazed at the power a little soap and warm water had for my disposition. I put on the clothes that Lily had left for me, and went out to find Sirius sitting there waiting for me.

"Ready to burst in if you heard me fall?" He nodded. "You know, it could have left us in a compromising position there. What if I had been starkers?" He smiled wickedly at me. I rolled my eyes at him. _ He seems like his old self. Really, could it be this easy? _"Speaking of which, are any of my clothes here, or did you just insist on buying all new ones again. Honestly, there are clothes still at home and there are clothes in my dorm room," he said nothing; another battle lost.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, coming up to me and wrapping his arms around me. I tensed briefly at his touch, but then I relaxed. I hoped he hadn't felt it.

"Um, just sit. I need to gather my thoughts before I talk with Dumbledore. I need to tell you some things then too," he looked at me concerned. _He's worried about what I have to say? I couldn't ever hurt him._ "No love, nothing like that. It's just, I knew you were there. I could feel you, even when I felt so far away and so lost, I could feel you. It was dark and warm and I felt safe, but no matter how far away I got, you were always there. My heart was so full of you, and I came back...because of you. I couldn't bear to be without you," I had been speaking to his chest, afraid of what I might find in his face. I looked up at him and his eyes were so full of love. _He doesn't hate me._

"Oh, my sweet one, I thought I had lost you. Thank you for coming back," he told me, and I could have sworn that I saw tears in his eyes. _He been waiting for me, he wanted me to come back to him._ I was overwhelmed at what I was feeling and the relief that was washing over me.

I grabbed Sirius and pulled his head down to mine and kissed him with as much passion as I could summon. It seemed like it had been forever since I had felt this, the warmth of his lips moving with mine, the way his tongue tasted as it danced with mine. I wanted more. I grabbed his collar and pulled him tighter, and his hand moved up my back to the back of neck and was caressing behind my ear. My body was on fire and I loved the way he felt against me. He smelled so good and felt so warm I could feel the strange tingling sensations building in my gut and then everything started closing in and he felt too close to me. I broke away and pushed him off of me. Horror swept over my face when I realized what I had just done.

"Sirius, I'm sorry. I wanted it so badly, and then I couldn't take it any more."

"Winnie love, it's okay. They told me to expect this," he was so calm, I felt so guilty. He took a hesitant step toward me. "We will do what you feel comfortable with, and no more. I'm not going anywhere," he put his arms around me, and I relaxed into him. "It'll all be okay," he whispered over and over.

We spent the afternoon on the couch in the lounge. I didn't want to be away from my friends, I needed to be with them. Lily chatted brightly about all sorts of things, news from her parents and friends that we had from school. James returned from Hogwarts are was thrilled to see me up. He told me all the news from the Quidditch team and told me that he had taken my birthday broom to Bette for her to fly on. Remus arrived and brought cookies from Mrs. Couch, proclaiming that since she hadn't seen either of 'the boys' she was concerned that they were studying to hard at University. I laughed for what felt like the first time in forever.

"Clearly, there was never any chance of that happening," I playfully teased Sirius as I was snugly sitting between his legs on the couch, still wrapped tightly in a blanket. I couldn't seem to shake the chill that had settled onto me since my shower.

"I have some mail for you too. The Muggle post came today," Remus said, handing me a small pile of mail. I thumbed through them, one from my Ma and one from my sister, and some junk. A long envelope in the back caught my attention. I opened it and unfolded it and read the letter. I was surprised by what it had to say.

"I have to go to London soon. Will you take me?" I turned around to look at Sirius.

"Of course. What's going on?"

"It's from the Opera school. They are changing the Christmas Concert, for the twenty-fifth anniversary season. It's about time if you ask me. I have to go in and pick up my new music. They also need to talk with me about some dance that they want to add." I folded the letter. "I am also going to formally resign from the school. This will be my last concert series," I had been planning this even before the attack. After I took my NEWT's I wanted to start Auror training as soon as possible. I had already made the arrangements for my schooling to continue right away.

"Are you sure you don't want one more summer?" He said, rubbing my back with the hand that was flung over the back of the couch.

"I am more than sure. I have wanted to walk away since I was eleven. It's about time that I do. This Christmas should be interesting though. They are also cutting down the schedule. Instead of three weeks, there will only be one, but we do the show two or three times a day. I'm done on Christmas Eve. That will be the best present of all," I was smiling. It was the first real smile that I had remembered having since... I took a deep breath.

"Well, then, you've set the bar rather high for me then. Hum, what can I do that will be better than ending with the whole music/dance prodigy thing?" Sirius said putting his finger to his chin, tapping.

"Just be home waiting for me, that will be the best of all," I said, leaning into him. He wrapped his arms around me and everything else melted away when his lips met mine.

"Always, love. Always," I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes and resting comfortably in his arms.

Lily made a chicken stew for dinner, with fresh bread and Mrs. Couch's cookies. I ate until I was full. I had again lost weight, and I looked like skin and bones in the mirror earlier. _I wonder if I could transfigure some weight onto me?_ After we were all done eating, we retired to the lounge as Dumbledore and Mr. Longbottom arrived. His wife Alice had come with him as well. She seemed somehow familiar to me. I sat, alone, in the large leather easy chair. Sirius seemed surprised that wanted to sit alone, but I knew what I had to say would be troubling for him. He sat down on the love seat, with James siting down next to him, and Remus behind him, leaning against the wall. Professor Dumbledore and the Longbottoms sat on the couch across from me, and Lily sat on the ottoman near me. My face was wrinkling in concern as I looked at Sirius before I began speaking, and he started to get up, but I shook him off. I turned and looked at Lily. She smiled at me, and took my hand in hers. I took a deep breath.

"This will be easier if I just start talking, and you can ask me questions when you need to," the headmaster nodded at me. "Sirius and I heard the blast, and we turned towards where we heard the noise come from. We had both drawn our wands, and he told me to stay where I was. I had put my bags down, and I was listening to everything very carefully. There were still so many younger students on the road. I heard a scream come from behind me, down the alley. It sounded like a child. I threw a shield charm over myself and headed down the alley. I saw someone farther down, in the shadows, and went to see who it was, and if they needed help," I took another deep breath to steady myself. "When I got to them, it was obvious it wasn't a child, but it was instead a woman hunched over. When she looked up, she scared me. Her eyes were crazy and her hair was wild, but she was beautiful in an almost terrifying way. She stood and threw a curse at me, and I saw my shield burst. With that there were several pops that let me know that someone had apparated in," I stopped again to steady my breathing.

"Almost immediately someone came up and grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me. I felt my shoulder pop and heard the bones crunch. The pain was unbelievable; it made me fall down," I was crying now, and I was having trouble catching my breath. I couldn't look at Sirius, I kept my eyes on the Professor, or to Lily for strength. "Someone said something about keeping me from flying, and I tried to crawl away from them, but I was kicked in the side. I fell backwards, and I looked up at who had kicked me. It was Regulus. He was spewing all of these awful things at me, and he called me a whore again," I whispered. "I was so angry. He said something, and it was like my face was being ripped off. I screamed, and he and the crazy lady started laughing," I sucked in the snot that was threatening to fall from my face, and Lily summoned a tissue for me. I blew my nose and wiped my face, and stuck the wet rag between my legs.

"I still had my wand and I threw up another shield and reached for my bracelet. I rubbed the all the charms because I couldn't remember which one it was. I dropped my wand and the shield burst again. I reached for my wand until another curse hit me across the stomach and it fell again. They kicked my wand away, and the someone yelled something, and the pain ripped through all of me, then someone was pulling at my clothes and touching me, and then everything went dark. I could still hear them and feel them, but I couldn't do anything," I was shaking and crying so hard. Lily had stood up, and was holding me, rocking me.

"Shh, it's all over now. You don't have to tell us anymore. James got there then. Shh, calm down now." When I had calmed down, she returned to her place at my side.

"Miss Hodgson, you did admirably. To have gotten your shield back up, in the midst of an attack, after being cursed, is quite a feat. While this is not the best way to find such things out, you must have a rather strong control of your spells to have accomplished that," the headmaster told me. I nodded at him. _It really didn't help_. "Now, did young Mr. Black say anything that might help us identify any of the other attackers?"

"No. I don't think so. Mostly what he was saying were the same sort of stupid threats that he had hurled at the Quidditch match last year. The woman though, said something about my not being part of 'our family'. Does that help?"

"Yes, unfortunately it might. Sirius, do you have any ideas?"

"My crazy, sadistic bitch of a cousin. My first guess would be Bellatrix. I can't believe that he went to her. It wouldn't surprise me if my dear old Mum helped with the whole thing," Sirius was seething. James had a hand on his shoulder and Remus had moved to just behind him. "I will kill all of them. How could they do this? They whole lot of them is crazy!" He was yelling and his eyes were full of fury. He looked at me and it was just like I was looking at his brother again. Terror filled me, and I started to hyperventilate.

"Sirius, stop it. Look what you are doing to her!" Lily yelled at him before she knelt before me, her face in front of mine. "Anwen, Sirius would never hurt you. Calm down now. Do you need a calming potion? I made some earlier, so if you needed it we have it."

"No, I'm okay. I'm just cold," I had curled myself up into a ball. Lily got my blanket from earlier from the window seat and brought it over to me, and wrapped it around me. I hadn't even realized that I was rocking back and forth until I stopped.

"Miss Hodgson, I only have a few more questions and then we can leave this for tonight. How many were there?" The headmaster asked in a calm voice.

"Four, I think, the lady, Regulus and two more. I didn't recognize them, and they didn't seem young either. One had a scar on his forehead. I could see it over his mask."

"Very good, very, very good. Now did you cast any other spells or counter-curses?"

"No. I didn't even get anything off at them. I'm sorry. It all happened so fast, and I was in so much pain from my arm and my shoulder. Once I saw the bubble collapse, I knew I was in trouble,"

"You said that before, that you 'saw the bubble collapse'. Can you explain what you mean?"

"Professor, I can see my spells. Different types of spells have different colors and shapes. Most of the time, I can just think about the color and shape, and then the spell happens. I think that's why I never had problems with the silent spell casting my second year. It's how I did it from the start. I would think it, and then it would just happen. I only ever spoke out loud because everyone else was. I could think things when I was little and they would happen. Nothing bad, but I would want something and it would come to me, or I could make the light change so that my mother and I would make it through traffic easier," I looked down at the floor, "I know it makes me some sort of freak, but it's how I've always remembered it being," everyone was looking at me. James was smiling at Frank in a most peculiar way.

"You are most definitely not a freak my dear. This is information that is best kept in this room. Now, I would like to ask two small favors of you, the first; may I extract the memory of the attack from your mind. It will not hurt you, but it will allow the Aurors and myself to see what happened through your eyes, without you having to tell us again. We may see things that you did not, that can be helpful in catching who did this," I nodded my assent, and the headmaster came over to me and laid his wand to my temple and he pulled a silvery thread from my head. I must have looked scared because Lily whispered to me.

"It's all right, that's just a copy of your memory. He's done nothing bad, I promise," the elder wizard conjured a small bottle and safely stowed the memory inside, and then returned to his seat.

"The second request that I have for you, is that when you return to school, would you be willing to spend some time with me, exploring the way that you visualize your spell casting. It is most fascinating, and the implications of it are extraordinary."

"Of course sir. I just don't know when that will be."

"I understand, take the time that you need. You can study on your own until you are comfortable. There is no rush for you to return."

"Thank you sir. Is there anything else that I can help anyone with, I am feeling a little tired now, and I would like to rest," I couldn't take all of their eyes on me much longer.

"I have one question." Mr. Longbottom said.

"Of course, sir. What can I tell you?"

"Please don't call me sir, it's Frank and Alice. We are so happy that you are well. Are you sure you didn't do anything else? The injuries should have been worse, especially if you were unprotected."

"I'm sure," I said, I looked at Sirius. "Could it have been the necklace?" He nodded at me.

"I think that the charm on this may have protected me. Sirius gave it to me last year," I pulled my necklace out from inside of my jumper and took it off over my head. Frank stood and took it from me. When he had it in his hands, his face went wide and he shot a look over to Sirius, who suddenly looked guilty. I looked at him for an answer, but he just looked at the floor. Frank handed it to Professor Dumbledore, who looked at it, and then at Sirius disappointedly. The necklace was passed around the room and each in turn had a look of surprise and shock. When it came back to me, I put it back on and hid it again under my clothes.

"Would someone like to tell me what just happened in here?" I asked.

"Mr. Black may well have saved your life with that, but he also inadvertently opened you up to more danger as well. Do you know what the Rune means?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir, it means shelter. It's from the ancient Germanic runes, not the commonly used modern ones."

"Quite right. Did he tell you that?" He asked, I shook my head no. "Your Rune work is outstanding. Twenty-five points to Gryffindor for your correct translation," he smiled at me. "The danger comes from the way that we are using the Rune. Miss Hodgson, everyone in this room, except for you, is a member of a secret society called the Order of the Phoenix. We are working against Voldemort. Each of member either has the charmed Rune tattooed on them, or carries a talisman, like yours, on them always."

Slowly, Lily pulled a necklace similar to mine from beneath her blouse. Frank and Alice lifted their sleeves to show me identical small tattoos on their wrists. James pulled aside the collar of his shirt to show me his collar bone and Remus lifted his hand to just above his heart. I knew where Sirius' was, he continued to look at the floor. The blood drained from my face.

"I just wanted to keep her safe," Sirius whispered.

"It appears that you did, however Sirius, if they had discovered that on her at the time of the attack, she would have been taken to Voldemort immediately, and tortured for information that she didn't have. Miss Hodgson, while you are not of age, you have become keenly aware of our organization. I will give your the choice of joining of your own free will, or I can remove the memories as well as the charm from you. It is highly irregular to ask someone of your age, but, you have proven yourself to be more than capable of handling situations beyond your years. You have the skills to make this decision," I nodded at him. This was a lot to take in. Sirius' head popped up and he glared at Dumbledore.

"You can't be thinking about bringing her into the Order at sixteen? She's too young, she's vulnerable now, if they found out, she would be in more danger," he was yelling again. He had stood up, but James was right there with him, standing partway between Sirius and Dumbledore.

"Sirius, she is already involved. Whether she chooses to stay or not will be her choice," Dumbledore said, standing up. "I shall take my leave now. Miss Hodgson, I will be by in a few days to talk with you about this further, until then, you are more than safe here, surrounded as you are. If you have any questions, please feel free to owl me. I will have Hagrid send Midnight to you tomorrow, as well as your books and supplies sent over so that you can continue your studies at your leisure. Thank you for all that you have shared with us tonight, and for this," he said, indicating the small bottle with my memory in it. He turned, and left the room for the floo.

"Would anyone like some tea, a butterbeer, firewhiskey?" James asked, looking around.

"Can I have some whiskey, please," I said, feeling numb all over. James eyes grew wide at my request, but I silently pleaded with him. He nodded his assent. Others said what they would like, and he dragged Sirius to the kitchen with him. James returned a few moments later, and I drank it down. _God this stuff burns, and it reminds me of turpentine._ I sat for a few moments until I felt it take effect._ Good, it's like Muggle alcohol. It feels the same way._ I said, remembering the few times that I had drunk at parties or in the dorm. I must have been quiet for a while, because Lily came over, looking at me.

"Anwen, can you please say something," my head snapped up to look at her.

"Oh, sorry," I shook my head. "I'm just thinking. So all of you chose this, after graduation?" Each in turn nodded at me. "And you are working against the wizards who are doing all of this. The ones hating Muggleborns and creating all the chaos," they nodded again, "and it's helping?" Once more, they nodded their agreement. "Do you think I could help?" Slowly, they each nodded. Finally James spoke up.

"Anwen, you would most definitely be a benefit, but this has to be your choice. It's too dangerous for you to decide because we chose it, or because you feel guilted into it in some way."

"I understand. But I want to become an Auror for the same reasons. Isn't this just an extension of those ideas?" He nodded at me. "All right then. Where is Sirius? I need to speak with him."

"He's in the library. I thought it would be better if he gave you some space. I wasn't sure how you would take what he did."

I stood up, and walked over to look at him. "I appreciate that, but you and I both know that Sirius does what he thinks is right, without thinking about what is best. We both love him for his recklessness. I'm not angry, in a way, he just sped up what would have been seemingly inevitable. I'm going to go talk with him, and then go get some sleep. Thank you everyone."

For the first time all day, I felt strong. I walked into the library, and Sirius was standing next to the window. I walked up behind him, and wove my arms around his waist, leaning myself onto his back. He twined his fingers in between mine.

"I figured that you would be angry at me," he said quietly.

"Nope. You did what you did because you thought it would help, and it did. It may have saved my life, Sirius I will never be upset that you saved me."

"You know about the Order, and what we are doing. Aren't you scared?"

"For your safety, a little. But, now I know that all of my friends are risking themselves to make a better world, to make things safer for us all. I'm proud of you, proud of what you're doing. That's why I'm joining you."

"Anwen, please don't," he said spinning himself around, and wrapping his arms around me. "You would be so much safer if the memories were just erased, and you went back to school."

"Sirius, they tried to rape and kill me," _It was the first time that I had said it out loud._ "I can't forget that," he went to say something, but I stopped him, "and I can't let you go off half cocked trying to avenge this. Let Frank and Alice and the Aurors do it the right way. Please. If anything happened to you, I couldn't survive it. Especially if you had done it because of me," I was pleading with him, tears again forming on my lashes.

"All right love, I wish that you weren't part of this. I couldn't loose you either," we stood there, holding each other in the moonlight for a while. My face pressed against his chest, his chin on my head.

"Do you really think your mother may have had a hand in this?" I finally asked him, pulling away to look at him.

"I don't know. If she thought that it would damage me, to hurt you, then yes. I doubt that she would have wanted you hurt that way. It even seems out of character for my brother, but if he really is a Death Eater, then, I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"How did you end up so normal? Your family has gone round the bend!" He smiled down at me.

"You don't know the half of it. I'm not sure that normal is the best word to describe me. But, I am definitely different. I wish that this wasn't my fault, but since it was my stupid brother and crazy cousin who lead the attack, it really is. Maybe you would be better without me," he said sadly.

"No!" I yelled at him. "I would have been dead without you. I would have been completely unprotected without your necklace, and I don't want to think about what would have happened then. Sirius, I might have stayed lost in my own mind, in the darkness, if you hadn't been there to help me find my way home," my voice got quieter. "Please don't ever say that again. Even if this doesn't work out right, if I can't be your love, I will always need you. You are my best friend and the only family that has ever loved me for just me. You can't leave me, please," I was crying again.

"Shh, love, please don't cry anymore. I won't leave, I promise. I couldn't leave even if it was for the best. I need you too much too. Shh, please don't cry love. Please," he was stroking my head, letting his hands trail down my back, and I calmed myself down. "Come now, you must be exhausted. You should sleep."

"You're right. The Firewhiskey has gone to my head," I said, trying to take a deep breath to again steady myself. Sirius carefully lifted me into his arms, cradling me next to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, and breathed in deeply. He climbed the stairs and took me again into the room where I awoke this morning.

"Can I have a moment in the bathroom please, and do I have any clean nightclothes?" Sirius put me down.

"Go on. Your things are in the top drawer of that dresser," I walked over and opened the drawer, there was nothing that I recognized as mine in it, but it was all my size. Even new knickers. _I really hope that Lily did the shopping for these, I don't want to think of Sirius buying me bras and panties. _ The thought of him in a lingerie department made me laugh out loud.

"That is the most beautiful sound love. What brought it about?" He said, sitting again on the chaise. I pulled a pair of small, pale pink underwear with lace edges from the drawer and swung it around on my finger.

"The idea of you shopping for these. Please tell me you sent Lily shopping," I said smiling.

"Yes, I did. You're right, we might be close, but I am not ready for that," he said laughing as well. It felt normal. I grabbed a soft cotton gown and went into the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then used the facilities. As I changed my into my pajamas, I looked at myself again. The cotton gown was sleeveless, and I could see my shoulders, the bones seemed to stick out like odd wings on my back. I grabbed my hairbrush and deposited the dirty clothes in the hamper and went out into the bedroom.

Sirius had changed out of his clothes as well, and was sitting again in the chaise in an old tee shirt and cut off sweats. I rarely saw his legs bare, and caught my breath at how well formed his muscles were. He must have seen the look on my face, because he threw me one of his wicked smiles. "Like the view there love?"

"Well, if the rest of you that you keep covered up looks that good, then I am one damn lucky girl," I said back slyly.

"Hum. Good to know," he said with a cocky smile. I sat down on the edge of the bed looking at him.

"Sirius, I look a little sickly still, don't I? I swear, every time I start to get some curves and look like a woman, something happens and I loose it all. Even my shoulders stick out weird in back," I was whining. Sirius stood up and walked over and sat down behind me and swung my hair around my neck. Then he kissed each of my bony shoulders, snaking his arms around my waist. It may have been the most sensuous thing I could even think of.

"Love, you are always the most beautiful person I will ever see. All of you is perfect to me. I love you," he whispered while kissing behind my ear. A raspy breath escaped from me. I closed my eyes, and felt myself getting lost in the warmth of his embrace. _He knew what I needed to hear, and he gave it to me. I felt as though I might explode from the love that I felt for him right now._

"Where have you been sleeping?" I said, but it came out more like a moan.

"Sometimes I slept in the chaise, and when I couldn't bear it anymore, I would sleep on the bed with you. I couldn't stand to be away from you, in case you needed me," he said, continuing to kiss my neck and my upper back softly.

"Sleep with me, hold me," I whispered.

"Are you sure?" he had stopped kissing me, and had moved to kneel and look at me.

"Sirius, yes. I can't promise that I won't get scared at all, but I need you. I need to know that you still love me and want me; that you don't hate me for what happened, for what they did," I was whispering, and again I was near tears. He took my face in his hands.

"How could you think that? What they did changed nothing, do you hear me, nothing. I still love you, I still want to be with you. There is nothing that will change that. You are still as beautiful and desirable as you have always been," with that he kissed me. It wasn't sweet or soft, his lips crashed into mine and he invaded my mouth. I had never been kissed with such force, and it scared me a little, but I gave into it, into him, instead of the pain and fear. The kiss seemed to go on and on, and finally our lips broke free from one another, and I was gasping for breath. I took his face in mine, traced his eyebrows and his cheekbones with my fingers. I ran my hands over his stubble and down his neck until the rested on his shoulders.

"Stay. Just hold me."

He lifted me up, and pulled the blankets down, and then deposited me on the soft, clean sheets. He reached over to the small table and lifted his wand, and turned out the chandelier, leaving only the small candle next to the bed lit. He pulled down the rest of the blankets and got himself in as well. Then he took my hairbrush, and brushed my long hair. When he was done, I turned to look at him, I couldn't form words, but I hoped that it was all in my eyes. He blew out the candle, and I settled down into the bed, with a strong pair of arms wrapping themselves around me. I turned to face him, our faces an inch away from each other on the pillow. Our lips found each others in the dark, and moved together as if they were meant to mold and melt just as they were.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

**Lovely and Magical Christmas**

**Sirius POV:**

_If you didn't know her well, you would never know that there was anything troubling her. She faked a smile and went about her days almost normally. But, she can't fool any of us, least of all me. All I have to do is look into her eyes, and the pain is there, just below the surface. It breaks me in two when our eyes meet, and she's working so hard to be brave._ The attack had been nearly a month ago. Anwen had awoken over two weeks ago. At first, she did little. Just sat around the Manor, gaining back her strength. Slowly, she went back to her school work. At first, just reading, then revising, and then doing full blown Spell Work and Potion brewing. Professor Dumbledore had gotten permission from the Ministry for her to work on these things outside of school, given the situation, they had permitted it freely; there were more than enough people always around to help her. She had accomplished more in a few weeks than would be covered in a class in a whole term. The Manor had become the unofficial home to the Order, and members were in and out all the time. Anwen still shied away from the members she didn't know, or when the room got too full.

It was late-November when I took Anwen into London for the first time. We had been to our house and St. Mungo's before now, but we had apparated right to where she needed to be, and hadn't been in crowds until today. She needed to go to the Opera School, and we needed to go to Ollivander's about her own wand. Until now, she had been using James mother's wand, which was in the Potter family's vault. She was eager to have her own back, however. We apparated into the Leaky Cauldron, and I could feel her fingers digging into my arm as she saw the people there.

"Love, are you sure you are going to be all right? We don't have to do this today. You aren't going back to school until after the first of the year. This can wait."

"No. I need to, then we have to go to the school. Sirius, I have to do this," she said with complete determination.

"All right. Hold on tight, I promise I won't go anywhere love," she nodded and I wrapped my arm around her. She hugged her small frame to me. We left the bar and headed out back to access the street. We walked into Ollivander's and picked up her wand, which was finished being repaired.

"It's in fine shape, miss. Willow, eight and a half inches, mermaid scale core. Not a commonly used core, I always had trouble with the reliability of it. Have you ever had any problems?"

"No sir, the mermaid scales seem to suit me just fine," she smiled a knowing smile up at me and we shared a look of understanding. _There were glimpses of her old, happy self still. I just need to see them more._ "Thank you so much for repairing it."

"That's one rather short wand love," I said to her.

"It's not the size, it's the way you use it darling. Remember good things can come in very small packages," she said, smiling wickedly at me. _That's my girl_. We paid for the repairs and went to leave the store. Anwen immediately went to go back to the Cauldron, to leave, but I told her I had one more bit of business to take care of, and she needed to be with me. We walked down the street to Gringotts. As we entered the building, I could feel her tensing against me, and wrapping her fingers more tightly into my side.

"It's okay love, I am right here. This won't take but a moment," I walked to the counter, gave them my name and told them that we were here to sign the paperwork on file. The goblin removed himself, and came back a few minutes later, inviting us to a private room. Winnie seemed much more comfortable in here.

"Mr. Black, Miss Hodgson, just sign here, and all will be taken care of," the goblin handed me a quill and I signed each of the three parchments, I then handed the quill to Winnie to sign. "What is this about?" she said looking at me puzzled.

"This just gives you access to my accounts, and some other items that I had the goblins take care of for me. Please don't argue Winnie, just sign them," she didn't take the quill. "Winnie, I may have to travel some for work, and I want you to be able to get what you need to take care of the house and yourself. Please, just sign them," she still sat there. "If it makes you feel better, Remus can access them as well," she rolled her eyes and relented, signing each of the parchments. A large brown satchel appeared on the table, and the goblin slid it over to me.

"Everything that I requested is in here then?"

"Yes, we have taken care of all of your requests, just as you asked. If you have any further questions, please contact us," the goblin replied, and snapped his fingers. "Here is a full reporting on each of your accounts. Should you need anything transfered, the instructions are on the bottom of the last page. Thank you for you business sir, it is an honor to serve the heir of the most noble house of Black," he rose to leave as I looked at the page.

"There seems to be a problem here. There is more gold in the account than was here only a few days ago. Are you sure these are correct."

"Quite certain sir. Would you like me to investigate this? It could take a while however, there are a great many security measures on your accounts," I looked at Anwen, she was wringing her hands, I could tell that she was still nervous to be out.

"No. I'll be back later, once I've had a chance to study this further. Thank you for your time and effort. Come on love, let's get you to the school," I said, offering her my hand. We walked back down Diagon Alley, towards the Leaky Cauldron. We would taxi to the Opera School offices. I didn't want to take her into the dark alley that we usually used for our magical travel, afraid of what memories it would stir.

"What's in that parcel Sirius?" she asked, trying to relax herself out in public.

"Nothing to concern yourself with right now. Just part of your Christmas gift. Come on love," we left the Wizarding world, and went into Muggle London. Anwen relaxed in the taxi some, but she was still holding my hand so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. We got to the offices, and she was greeted warmly by the director. He invited me into the meeting, but I chose to wait in the reception area. I reviewed all the items in the parcel from the bank. Everything seemed in order. _It wasn't easy or cheap to arrange this, but I wanted this. I would sleep better knowing that all of it was arranged, and hopefully we wouldn't ever need it. I wonder where the extra money came from. My accounts had nearly doubled. That will have to be a mystery for another day._ I closed the satchel and leaned back against the wall to wait for Anwen to be finished.

A while later, she left the office. She thanked the director, and then turned to look at me, and promptly rolled her eyes at me. She held a thick notebook and what looked like a guitar case. I took the case from her, and then took her hand.

"What's this?"

"I'll tell you all about it at later. Please take me back, I've really had enough for one day."

"Okay. Do you want to go from here, or would you like to go to taxi our house, and then go back?"

"Here is fine. I think I will just feel better once we're alone again," her face was tense. I lead her around to the back of the building. She did indeed get upset back there, and finally just shut her eyes.

"I'm right here love, we will be back at the Manor in a moment, hold on all right, I have you," when I was sure that no one could see us, I apparated us home. The minute we were in the lounge at the Manor, I released her hand, and she went and crumpled down on the couch.

"That was harder than I thought it would be," her breath was ragged and she had her head in her hands. I came to sit next to her, rubbing her back and kissed her on the head.

"Love you did wonderful. I'm so proud of you," I whispered as I held her. I finally got her to calm down and we settled back into the couch, Anwen curled up between my legs. I threw her favorite quilt around her and then asked her about her meeting. "Now, tell all about what happened at the school. How did he take the news that you would be leaving?" She looked up at me.

"About as well as I expected. He didn't understand why I would not return this summer, since I will only be seventeen, but I explained that I was graduating a year early, and would be starting my University level courses immediately. It's mostly the truth," she smiled at me. "The concert program is quite interesting, but he insisted that since this would be my last year, that I should be given another solo. I now have five featured songs, and three dance numbers; six different costumes to boot.

"The best part, is the opening number I have to sing and dance in – I have to do it in a white tutu," her voice was thick with sarcasm. "A big, white, stick straight out from your hips tutu with feathered wings," she teased, her little arms mimicking where the wings would be on her back. "Lucky me," she said with an eye roll. _This is the most animated I've seen her in a while._ "I'm glad it will be my last year. Guess what, at the final concert, the one on Christmas Eve night, they have reserved a box for me? Do you think that our friends might want to come and hear me?"

"Of course Winnie, they've never seen you sing. Not like this anyway. I think that they'll be thrilled. Lily especially."

"What will I be thrilled about?" Lily said, entering the room.

"The school has given Anwen a box for the final concert so that we can go and see her."

"Splendid. James and I were going to go anyway, but this will be far better. My mother and father would be excited as well. Is there room?"

"There should be, it has ten seats in it, and I'm sure that my family won't be able to make it from Wales," I looked at her sadly. She shook her head. "Sirius, I know that you would do anything, but I can't ask that of them. I have three younger brothers and sister that believe in Father Christmas. They need to be home on Christmas morning. It's fine with me, really. I'll see if Liddy can come though. Lily would you mind if she came for Christmas"

"Of course not, there's more than enough room here. Oh Anwen, I am so excited. We'll host a party afterwards, a celebration of our own for everyone that goes. Is that all right with you?" She nodded yes.

"So, are you going to tell me about the case. It's a guitar right?" I asked her.

"Yes, Mr. Observant. I need to play it in one number, and I haven't practiced since last summer. It's a loaner, but I think that I may purchase my own. The school ones always sound off pitch to me. Plus, since I am left handed, I have to restring it."

"I didn't know that you could play? How long has that been?" I asked her. _How did she keep surprising me this way?_

"We all had to take classical guitar and piano every year. I started at nine. I always used a school one, and I just left it in the practice rooms. It's not very hard, really. In a few days, can we go back to London to shop for my own guitar. I have enough money, and no I don't need you to pay for it, so don't ask. All I need now is a piano, and I'll be all set to rehearse all of this," she said, patting the notebook on the coffee table.

"Anwen, follow me," Lily said, getting up. We followed her. She lead us through the ballroom, to a small door at the end of the room. It opened up to a small room, with thick blue material on the walls. In the middle of the room stood a black, grand piano. There were other instruments along the walls in glass cases. A small harpsichord was against the far wall, under a huge window.

"Lily, I didn't know the manor had a conservatory. This is...amazing," Anwen did her little happy dance, and sat down at the piano. Her fingers moved over the keys, playing a simple tune that I recognized immediately as one of the songs she sang while she was doing dishes. "Would it be okay if I used this room? You don't think that James would be upset?"

"Not if it makes you that happy, he couldn't be upset. It'll be nice to have it used again. Go on, practice some. I need to go get dinner on," with that, Lily left the room. I went over to sit next to my Winnie on the piano bench. She was smiling, an honest, true smile. She started another song, this one was the hymn she sang at Mr. Lupin's funeral. When she was done, she twined her fingers in mine and leaned her head towards mine. Her lips were always so soft and she tasted sweet. _The things this girl can do with her tongue should be outlawed._ I moved from her mouth, up her jaw to the area behind her ear, leaving soft kisses along the way.

"I really should practice, or do some school work," she sighed at me. I turned my body sideways on the piano bench, so I was straddling it, I pulled her to do the same.

"Isn't this more fun?" I said, moving my lips back to hers. She gave into the kiss, twining her fingers into my hair, pulling herself closer, her calves now draped over my thighs.

"Yes, but I have a lot to do," her mouth was trailing down my neck, coming to rest on my pulse point.

"You don't act like you have work to do," I said seductively, recapturing her lips with mine. I pulled her closer to me, my hands resting on her hips. As we kissed, I moved my hands under her soft jumper, resting them on the waistband of her jeans. I slowly moved them up her back, inside of her clothes. Her skin was so soft, but then I felt her tense and break her mouth away from me. The rest of her didn't move, so I just held still.

"Sorry. Just give me a second," she said, looking down. I started to move my hands down, but she looked at me and said, "No, stay where you are. At some point I have to get used to feeling this again. It's just hard," I sighed. _Damn, I didn't want to do that. It's frustrating, but it's not her fault. It's not like we were doing much before the attack, but since then, she can barely stand my touch on her skin._ I closed my eyes and breathed deeply leaning my forehead against hers. "Sirius, I am so sorry. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. I would understand if it was easier on you to be with someone who..."

"No love, don't even think that. I only want to be with you," I smiled at her, but I could see the sadness there.

"Sirius, you were frustrated before ... because I wasn't ready to...it must be so much worse now. I know that you had other girls and that you've..." her voice trailed off "...look, I love you and I would understand if you needed more than I could give you right now. I really don't know when I'll be able to," she looked down again. I pulled her so that she was straddling my lap, knowing full well that she could feel exactly what being with her was doing to me. She gasped at the contact.

"Anwen, you do that to me. I just need to kiss you, touch you, hell, see you and I get like that; but it's from desire for you, not just any woman. Yes, there were other girls, but none of them ever meant what you mean. Look at me. I will wait for you. I don't want anyone else, not now, not ever, and definitely not just for that," I told her, moving my hands around to her back and pulling her toward me to kiss her deeply. I only broke away from her when we both needed to breathe.

"You know, there is a many things to do between where we are now, and that," I said with a lopsided grin. "We can take all the steps in between very slowly if you want. I love you, Winnie," her lips curved slightly at me. "There were other boys for you too," I said smiling at her. _I most definitely had more experience than she did, I often had to remind myself just how innocent she was, but it was so different being with her. Every touch of hers ignited me, every sound she made was beautiful. When we did get there, I knew it would be amazing, and I would make sure that it was as good for her as it could be. I knew enough to ensure that._

"Yes, Sirius, all of my experience, except with you, includes one very chaste kiss with a boy backstage my summer on the West End, the awful stage kisses that first summer in company, a disastrous kiss with Cole last year after he had been drinking when we won our first Quidditch game. There was drool involved, not at all sexy. And Matthew. We kissed, and he touched my breasts through my uniform sweater. That's it, all of it," she sighed. "I just hope you're not disappointed in me," she said sadly.

"Winnie love, there is no way that I would ever be disappointed," I slowly moved my hands along her back and I began kissing her neck again, and she sighed and smiled and she twined her fingers in my hair again. "You are the first woman who has truly loved me, there is nothing disappointing about you," our lips met again, and she relaxed into the kiss again. I was slowly moving my hands around her, feeling the gentle curve of her breasts. She moaned at the contact, and with her still sitting on top of me, she could feel what touching her was doing to me. We were startled away from our activities by a knock and the door opening. Winnie broke our kiss, and I dropped my hands back down to her waist. I looked over to the door. She pulled away, sitting herself back down on the piano bench, dropping her head down.

"Great timing there Prongs."

"Um, yeah sorry, but Lily said that you were back here practicing. I'm not sure what kind of practice that was, but I do hope you're doing that on stage for the concert Anwen," she turned a wonderful shade of pink and hid her face in my chest.

"What do you need again?" I growled at him.

"Yeah, uh, dinner is ready. Are you coming, or are you staying here to practice some more?"

"We'll be right there," I told him, and he turned and left. "Don't worry about it, I can't tell you the number of times that I walked on him and Lily in much more compromising positions. How about if we pick up where we left off tonight, when we're alone?" She looked up and smiled at me and nodded. I kissed her again. _ Can't I just live off of her sweet kisses? Who needs food when your girlfriend tastes like strawberries?_

"If we start this again, we will miss dinner. Come on, I'm actually hungry," Anwen said, breaking away from me. She stood up and pulled me up with her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and followed her out. _I hate being good._

Anwen spent much of December having me shuttle her between London and the manor. We had talked about going home, but since everyone else was in and out of James and Lily's, and all of her school things were there, we just decided to stay until she went back to school. She had made great progress on her school work, and both Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall had been over to do private lessons with her. I still apparated her to the concert hall each day, and back home. It was faster, and far safer than anything else.

Once the week of the concerts started, she was exhausted. The weekend days had three concerts: 1:00, 4:30 and 8:00. Weekdays there were only two at 2:00 and 7:00. There was only a little over an hour between when she was finished with one before she had to be back to prep for the next. Since she had so many costume changes, she had a private dressing room. Often I would just sit with her, and hold her as she slept between shows. On occasion she awoke with a start. I knew that she had just had another nightmare. She didn't even have to tell me, her eyes said it all. She seemed calmer, and slept better if I was there with her.

Sometimes we would go out and eat, but I mostly brought her food that Lily had prepared at home, Anwen was still uncomfortable in crowds. We did go out with Clara and her parents one night. Clara had one solo and several dances this year, it was her last year as well.

The night of the Christmas Eve was the final concert. Winnie hadn't let me see any rehearsals or even the program for the show. James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Dr. and Mrs. Evans, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore, her sister Liddy and I all arrived at the hall together. We were seated in the first box on the right side of the stage. We had wonderful sight lines, the school finally seemed to appreciate all that Anwen had done for them over the years. _About freaking time they thanked her. _ We were looking through the program, when Lily got my attention.

"Sirius, did you read this?"

"Read what, Lily?"

"This, Anwen has a bio in here, with a picture and everything." She took my program and opened it to the page. There was a Muggle picture of my Winnie, smiling brightly.

Anwen Hodgson: Anwen is a sixteen year old soprano who has studied at the school since the age of four. An accomplished singer and dancer, she has also been featured with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Anwen became a featured soloist at the age of six, and this marks her tenth Christmas concert, including being with the company for their tours of France, Germany and Australia/New Zealand. Anwen has sung for several heads of state from around the world, as well as our own Queen. She plays eight different instruments and will be featured on piano and guitar this evening. Anwen will be graduating from a private Scottish school in the spring, and will be beginning advanced studies in the law this fall. She wishes to thank: _my family and my school friends for making my life quite lovely and magical._ _My performance is dedicated to my most charming love; thank you for bringing light, laughter and love into every day of my life._

I felt a shiver go up my spine at the words written there. "Well, she certainly does have a way with words. I guess you could say that she will have a career in law?" I said, looking at James. He smiled back at me, as did Professor Dumbledore.

"Did you know that she had sung for the Queen?" Remus asked me.

"No, she never did like talking about it. I never pressed her on it either. Heck, I didn't know that she played any instruments until last month. Turns out there are more than I knew," I said back.

"Sirius, Anwen was never comfortable in the spotlight. Even when we were little. I think she would have been happiest just to stay at home and sing to the cows. That's quite a dedication. If she's willing to give you the gift of her voice, you must mean so much to her. She usually is just embarrassed by it," Liddy smiled up at me. I leaned over and kissed her head.

_I didn't know what to say to Liddy. How would I, could I, explain what it meant to me? I knew how much all of this had hurt her. How she had felt used and neglected. Now, she was choosing to sing, and to sing for me. _I felt tears coming to my eyes, and I was thankful that the house lights were dimming.

The first number started with some very young girls doing ballet, but when the Orchestra started playing, there she was, in those damn toe shoes. _That outfit is ridiculous. It was a white sparkling tutu with white wings. She danced and then came forward to sing about Christmas angels. _I can almost see her rolling her eyes from here. When it was done, she quickly went off stage. I knew it was time for a costume change. The younger children sang a song, and then the whole ensemble sang another one. I saw her sneak on stage to stand at the end of the front row to join in that one.

She was in a red dress, and she came forward to play her piano piece. Her back was to us when she sat down. The back of the dress took my breath away. It had strands of red beads that fell from her neck in graceful arcs to the sides of the dress. She held her back so straight as she played. Her touch on the piano was commanding and yet somehow, gentle. When she was done, she went back to stand with the others. There was another choral piece, then two solos, and then two more choral pieces. Anwen came forward again, and sang the Ave Maria. I had heard it before, but it never ceased to impress me. I looked at the others in our box, and all were stunned except for Liddy. _I would suspect that she did indeed know just how well her sister could sing._ Professor McGonagall had tears in her eyes.

When the song was over, Anwen curtsied gracefully, and then exited the stage. There were a few more songs, another piano solo, as well as Clara's solo. She did very well. _I need to congratulate her after the concert._ Anwen again came out, and I was blown away. Her costume seemed see through, and yet sparkling, her feet were bare. She danced differently, it wasn't ballet really, it was more flowing. The music sounded vaguely middle eastern, played on the Oboe by another student. There was a seductive nature to how she was moving. It wasn't sexy, but it was sensual. Watching her move that way, my thoughts began to drift back to the hours we'd been spending alone, Anwen gaining comfort with my touch. _You need to stop that, man. This isn't the place to have erotic fantasies about your girlfriend._

I forced myself to just watch her hands again, _they're hypnotic._ It was the last number of the first act, and as she left the stage, I sat in stunned silence. James leaned over to me.

"You know, if I wasn't married, I might have fallen for her right there. You are one lucky, lucky man," he whispered. _Believe me, I know it._

We all talked through the intermission, with Lily and Liddy excusing themselves to go to the rest room. Everyone seemed at ease, except for Dumbledore. He seemed to have something very heavy on his mind. He shook off James when he asked what was wrong.

The second act started with a soaring medley of carols, that seemed to change keys over and over. I knew that this was the piece that had Anwen so worried. She, of course, did wonderful with her solo in the song. All the older students then left the stage area, and the younger children came forward and sang several songs, including a solo from a girl that couldn't have been more than six or seven. She looked so tiny while she was singing, and I couldn't help but think of my love being that little when she started.

The whole stage went black, and we heard the moving of furniture. When the lights came up, there were several small tables with girls sitting around them. They were all in elaborate green velvet outfits. There were pint glasses on the tables, so it looked like a pub, and the orchestra started playing Irish music. I couldn't find Winnie at first, and then, I spotted her beautiful smile across the stage. I didn't recognize her because she had long, red, curly hair. She winked at me when my face registered hers. They danced the gig with the boys as they 'arrived at the pub' and then it morphed into another Irish themed song, which Winnie sang some of. She must have learned to do the jig for the show. I loved the way that she hopped and skipped through the routine. She had a large, bright smile on her face. _That's just her stage smile, she holds it in place too well. I wish it were real though. _When the segment was over, the stage went dark again. When the lights came up, the tables and chairs were gone, and a small ensemble of middle aged children came out, and sang a few numbers. Then everyone came out, and did a few more choral pieces. Winnie was in a long green dress, and her hair was back to normal. _That's interesting, it must have been a wig, or did she charm her hair? _She left the stage again, and there were a few more songs and dances.

The end of the show was coming, and I wondered with all the changes, if it would be the same as always. _Where was the guitar playing?_ Then, four students came out, each carrying a tall stool and a guitar. Winnie was one of them. They were all dressed in dark blue. The dress seemed to sparkle in the lighting, and it looked like a starry sky. She was the only one who played left handed so, she was at the farthest point in their little semi circle. I could clearly see her, and she looked up and smiled at me. The four students started playing "Silent Night". It was so quiet, and yet perfect. Anwen sang the first verse, and the concentrated on her playing, until they got to the last verse. I heard the descant begin, I was surprised when her gaze was on me. She sang her last song right to me. I know that I caught a tear falling down her face. The stage went dark, and I could hear the students leaving the stage.

They came back up, and the soloists each took a bow. We, along with most of the room, stood for Anwen. She bowed a second time, and then stepped back. Then they all exited the stage. Anwen was done with school and her life of vocal music and dance. Everyone else headed back to the Manor, but I waited to get my Winnie home. I had stopped to talk with Clara and her parents, then I went to find Anwen. When she wasn't in her dressing room, I went looking for her, getting nervous. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, alone.

"Hey there. I was getting worried. What are you doing here all by yourself?" I said, going to sit next to her. She had her make up case, guitar and her garment bag next to her. She was still in the dark blue dress from the end of the show.

"Thinking. Saying goodbye," she sighed. "Sirius, that was basically the end of my childhood, and it was witnessed by hundreds of my closest...strangers who happened to be here tonight. None of them knew what they were seeing. I guess I'm feeling a little nostalgic. Sorry to have worried you love," I put my arm around her, and kissed her softly.

"Come on, let's go home. You have a party to get to," I stood up, offering her my hand to get up. She took it and stood. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her again, this time much more deeply. "Do you need to change?"

"Nope, they're letting me keep this one. There is another dress in the bag too. It's a sort of 'parting gift'."

"Please tell me it's the red one."

"Yes," she said with a knowing smile. "I thought you might like that one."

"What is it with you and backless dresses? Not that I'm complaining, but honestly, it was very sexy."

"Thank you. I can get away with them, so I do. Not much going on here in front" she said, motioning to her chest, "so I don't have to hold much up, so I can get away with something backless. I think that my back is very sexy, thank you," I embraced her again.

"I think all of you is sexy my love, but you may wear that dress any time you like. That thing you danced in was spectacular as well. Wow." She rolled her eyes at me. "Thank you too for the beautiful dedication. It gave me chills," I smiled down at her, and she was honestly smiling back at me. "Now, shall we go and celebrate Christmas with our friends and family?"

"Of course, I love you Sirius. Thank you for helping me say goodbye," I picked up the garment bag and the guitar and she got her make up case, and I held her close with my other arm.

"Anything for you love, anything at all," I checked to make sure that we were indeed alone, and we apparated from the stage back to the manor.

The party was in full swing when we got back. Lily and her mum had out done themselves. There was food spread out in the kitchen, and a roaring fire in the fireplace in the lounge. The house was fully decorated for Christmas and soft carols were playing in the background. Everyone applauded Anwen when we arrived, and several people hugged her warmly. Other members of the Order had joined the party as well.

"Miss Hodgson, that was superb. The headmaster had told me some of what he had seen in the past, but that was, impressive. Congratulations my dear. It was good to see you up there smiling as well," the Transfiguration teacher put her hand on Anwen's cheek before giving her a warm hug. Over her shoulder, I saw Dumbledore speaking to Lily, who in turn went to talk with her parents.

"Liddy sweetheart, why don't you go with my Mum and Dad for a moment, they want to show you around the grounds," Liddy went off with Dr. and Mrs. Evans.

"What was that all about?" I asked. Everyone else was walking over towards Anwen and I. She took my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"That was my doing. I have spoken any of the Order that are not here already. Mr. Black, I regret to inform you that we have credible evidence that your brother Regulus has been killed. We believe that he was killed by Voldemort himself. It appears to have happened a few weeks ago. He tried to leave the Death Eaters." I felt a little numb. I sat down and inadvertently pulled Anwen down onto the couch with me. It was until I felt her shaking that I realized that this would effect her too.

"You're certain?" she questioned.

"I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't sure," he answered. The room became suddenly quiet and still.

"Sirius love, I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to learn on Christmas," it was Winnie, trying to comfort me. _He had hurt her so terribly, and here she was worried about my loosing my good for nothing oaf of a brother._ I couldn't help but laugh at it. She looked at me with shock and concern.

"No. Don't you dare feel badly. It's a wonderful thing, Winnie. He will never try to hurt you again. He can't hurt anyone again. He got what he deserved," I pulled her towards me and kissed her. No one was saying anything again.

"Are you sure your all right?" she asked me.

"I am better than all right. I am wonderful love. Now, I believe that this is a party, shouldn't we be acting like it," I smiled wildly at her, and she returned a crooked smile back.

"Well then, all right. You heard the man, we shall party. James, what on earth do we have to drink, my throat is rather dry after all that singing," he let loose a laugh, and Remus and Lily followed suit. I looked in my Winnie's sweet eyes, and didn't see any fear there. _That is the best gift I could have been given. _I stopped for a moment, and then something else occurred to me. _This also explains the money. _We celebrated until well after midnight, and it was officially Christmas morning when we trudged off to bed.

"Please tell me you have no plans to wake me up bouncing on the bed at the crack of dawn?" I asked her as we were getting changed to go to sleep.

"No. I want to sleep in as late as you and Liddy will let me. I do hope that she doesn't tell my Ma and Da that we are sharing a bed. Maybe I should go to another room?" Anwen yelled from the loo.

"Anwen, you father already knows. He asked me about it after Easter dinner. I was honest with him then," I said, changing out of my clothes from the concert and putting on the tee shirt and shorts I wore to be most nights. Then I started pulling down the blankets on the bed.

"But we only got together the night before. How did you know?"

"Anwen, we've been sleeping with each other, well next to each other I should say, since we've known each other. I knew that I would want you safely in my arms each night," she came out in my old Quidditch jersey.

"And I am more than content to be there," she came over and wrapped herself up in my arms and kissed me deeply. "Happy Christmas my love."

"Happy Christmas. Let's go to bed," and I lifted her up, and crawled into bed with her wrapped in my arms and pulled the covers up over us.

**Anwen POV:**

I awoke on Christmas morning, feeling, peaceful. I couldn't remember the last time that it had happened. I was curled up on my side, pressed up against Sirius. His shirt was still off, we had lost it some time last night, and my hand was resting over his heart. I moved my hand to touch the planes of the muscles in his chest. _How ever did I end up with this gorgeous man that other women drooled over? _I snuggled myself closer again and relaxed against him. There was something exhilarating about the feel of his skin next to mine, and my finger trailed down the thin line of hair that dipped from below his navel to the waistband of his shorts. I closed my eyes and imagined what lay behind them. _If I never have to get up, that will be just fine with me. I'm done singing, done with the Opera School, I am in control. Regulus is dead. I know I should feel bad about it, but I don't. He was Sirius brother, but he hurt me. I do hope his mother is all right; she's alone now. Sirius should go and see her. I'm ready to go back to Hogwarts too. Only a few months, and then I can be with Sirius forever, if he'll have me. He hasn't said anything about it, but he hasn't run for the hills either._ I knew it was what I wanted, to be with Sirius, to love him, to share everything with him. I suddenly felt the desire building in my body and was surprised at how badly I was wanting this. My desire was over taken, however, with my deep fear of not knowing what to do next. It was a long way from passionate snogging to intimacy. _SIrius knows so much, has done so much, he's going to hate being with me and my total inexperience. Okay, no more thinking about sex, Anwen. Think about something else._

My thoughts ran away from me and I was thinking about the gift I had gotten him. _He is going to be so excited. I spent way more than I should have, but it is a rocking gift._ I don't know how long I laid there, awake but content. I heard his breathing change, and I knew that he rousing.

"Love are you awake?" he whispered at me.

"Yes, I've been for a while. Just waiting for you."

"Oh, and what have you been waiting for?" he looked down at me.

"For this," I pulled him over so that he was lying on top of me, and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me, and the kiss deepened. Our legs twined were together and his tongue was stroking the inside of my mouth. It felt so wonderful to be there, holding him, kissing him, feeling him against me. I would have stayed that way all day. The thinness of the fabrics we were both wearing left little to the imagination, and I knew that he could tell what our intimacy was doing to me as easily as I could tell what it was doing to him. I felt his hand move across my abdomen and begin to rise up toward my breast and I wanted to let him touch me, and then there was a knock at the door, and it swung open.

"Yikes, sorry. I'll wait in the hall," it was Liddy. Sirius rolled off of me, groaning in displeasure.

"It's okay Liddy, we weren't doing anything..."

"You call that nothing," Sirius muttered under his breath. I swatted him with my hand.

"...come on in sis. Happy Christmas," Liddy came back in, with her hand over her eyes. "Lid, we're clothed. It's okay. What do you want?"

"Everyone else is up, and they were wondering if you plan to come downstairs any time soon?"

"We will be there in a moment. Would you make sure that there is coffee made for Winnie? Thanks Liddy, we'll be right there. Goodbye," Sirius said, my sister escaped while she could. "How much you want to bet James sent her up here to catch us?"

"He wouldn't?" I said, Sirius nodded, and I could feel my eyes narrow and my eyebrow cock. _Mr. Potter and I need to have a word._ "Come on. Let's find your shirt. I think I threw it over here somewhere. I need my robe from the loo too."

Everyone was indeed downstairs when we got there. James started to tease us, but I went over and whispered in his ear, "If you ever send my sister in on us again, I will hex your bits James Potter," he looked at me shocked and then smiled. _I believe that we had come to an understanding._

Sirius got me some coffee, and himself some tea, and we snuggled together on the couch. It was a relaxing morning, opening gifts and eating the feast that Lily had put out. She seemed ready to burst about something, but kept having to excuse herself to use the loo. _Okay, she's acting a little oddly._ Liddy was shocked when there was a gift under the tree from Sirius. He had bought her a delicate silver bracelet with her name on it. She surprised him when she hugged him with a great deal of force.

"That was so sweet of you. Thank you," I cradled his face and kissed his cheek.

"I sent presents to your whole family. I mailed them via the Muggle post last week when I took yours to mail," I felt tears in my eyes.

"I could not love you more," and I kissed him again.

"Cut it out you two, you're making us all ill," James teased us. Sirius gave him a dirty look. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Fine. Can you help me get Sirius' gift out from behind the tree please?" James slid himself over, and slid the long package out from behind the tree. It was about four feet long and rectangular. He put it on the floor in front of us. Sirius looked at me, with the most precious look of confusion on his face. "It isn't going to unwrap itself love. Go on," I knew I was smiling widely at him.

"How did you?"

"I have my own set of elves love. Go on, I am looking forward to seeing your face," he began ripping the wrapping paper off, and it revealed a black case. He popped the latches on the side and flung the lid open. His eyes flew open wide and he looked from the case to me and back to the case. It was priceless, he was so excited.

He picked up the black and white electric guitar from the case and held it in his lap, stroking it lovingly. "How...what...when did you do this?"

"When we went to get my acoustic one, you were clearly in lust with them. Definitely fits your personality too. I talked with the clerk then and Remus went to pick it up for me. I'll teach you to play. It should be easier for you to learn too, since I'm left handed, you can just sit across from me and mirror my fingers. There is a small amp at our house too."

"Winnie, this is...unbelievable," he continued to run his hand up and down the instrument. Everyone was looking at him. I leaned in to whisper at him "I thought I was the only thing you caressed that way. Maybe I don't want the competition," he stopped and his head shot up to look at me, shocked. I gave him my best crooked smile. He leaned in to me, kissed behind my ear and whispered.

"You're for later love, but this I can do in public," he pulled back and smiled wickedly at me. _I'm happy, really happy. This is perfection._ He put the guitar back into the case and shut it and pushed the case out of the way. Then he stood and reached for a small velvet bag under the tree. He handed it to me, kissing me as he sat down.

"This is half of your present. The rest is upstairs, and we'll you'll get that when we're alone," Remus made a loud catcall. I looked at him surprised. _When did he join the rude boys club? He's usually so much better than that._ The little velvet bag had a drawstring and I pulled it open. Inside there was a box. I lifted it out, and my mouth fell open. My eyes were wide, but so were all the women in the room. Liddy unexpectedly squealed. The box was a pale blue with silver lettering. Every girl over the age of about ten knows where this box was from. I looked at Sirius. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"You went to Tiffany's?" I was shaking slightly as I lifted the lid. There was a dark blue velvet box inside. I slid it out and held it in my hands. I looked over at Lily, hoping that she would know what was inside, but I could tell by her face that she didn't. Sirius took the box from my hands and turned my head to face his.

"Relax, it's not what I think you're thinking. Neither of us are ready for that...yet," I nodded and took a deep breath. He opened the box and turned it toward me. It was a ring, just not a diamond ring. It was a beautiful ring made of fine bands of gold twined together, with light green and pale gray stones. He lifted it from the box and slid it on my hand. "Those are Sapphires and green Garnets. It comes with a promise love, I promise I'm not going anywhere. You're the one I love, and I always will," I was crying, and he leaned forward and kissed my tears away. I couldn't say anything, but I heard at least one person sigh 'awh'. I hugged him, and continued to cry.

"The stones are the color of your eyes," I whispered at him.

"Yours too. They belong together," he said lovingly. I showed it to everyone. Lily was ready to jump out of her skin.

"Okay, I can't wait any longer," Lily said, standing up "James and I have some news. We are going to have a baby." I pulled away from Sirius and screamed. I jumped up and hugged her. Her Mum and Dad must have already known, for they were quite calm, but the rest of the room erupted. After hugs and kisses and congratulations all around, Lily and James shared that they were due in late July or early August. Lily was doing fine, except for some morning sickness. _That explains the multiple trips to the loo earlier._

We were all so happy. The assembled group, our makeshift family, stayed there, talking, laughing and enjoying each other's company until late in the afternoon. Mrs. Evans insisted that she cook dinner, and everyone finally showered and got dressed just before we were to eat. I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful ring on my finger, and the promise that came with it. Life was wonderful, and for at least one day, the world outside was far, far away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

**The Places We Feel Safe**

**Sirius POV:**

We were still in bed. I knew it was late morning, but we were alone in the house so there was no reason to get up. The day after Christmas, I went with Liddy on the train back to Wales, and then Apparated back to the Manor. I told the Hodgson's that Anwen was exhausted after the concert, which is why she didn't come. They had no idea of what had happened to her, and she really didn't want to tell them. They were accepting Dumbledore's story of their being an accident at school. Anwen was in no shape to ride a train to Wales. The next day, Anwen and I came back to our house, and I made her immediately start teaching me how to play my Christmas present. Remus had stayed at the Manor since it was, 'his time of the month' and it afforded us some privacy. New Years was still a few days off.

"Sirius, why couldn't you let anyone else know that you were giving me a trip to Greece, which by the way, is too much of a gift?" she asked, still curled up against me, running her fingers over my most recent tattoo on my chest, another Rune, signifying protector.

"Because the trip is only part of it, and I don't want anyone else knowing about it. You'll understand it all once we go at Easter, all right. Don't tell anyone where we are going, just let them know that we are going away on holiday."

"If you say so," she sighed. _She has seemed so much more relaxed since Christmas Eve._ She rolled over, so she was partially lying on top of me, and kissed her way across the Rune she was fingering. _A lot more relaxed with all of this as well._ "Sirius, can you do something for me?"

"Love, right now I would do anything for you," I moaned at her.

"Go see your mum," I tried to sit up, but she put her hands on my chest and held me there, lifting herself up on her arms so she could be looking at me in the face. "Hear me out, I know that things are bad between you and her, but she is still your Mum and she has lost her son, your brother. Go and see her, please. She must be so sad and lonely now," I couldn't believe what she was saying. _ I feel nothing good towards my Mum, and I wasn't sad at all my brother was dead. They hated Anwen, hated her mere existence. How could she think I would want to comfort that horrible wretch of a woman?_

"Anwen, it won't help. My mother would never find solace in me. Trust me on this one. I think that it's sweet that you are concerned about her, it awes me that you feel compassion for someone who most likely hates you, but that's why I love you so," I reached down, and pulled her up on me, so that her face was close to mine. She was pouting at me, I couldn't stand when she looked that way. "All right" I relented "I will go and see my Mum once you're back at school."

"Thank you love. Now, where was I?" she said mischievously. "I think I was about here," she said, sliding herself down my chest, until her lips were again on my tattoo. She used her tongue to trace it. I slid down the bed to capture her lips. I rolled on my side, continuing to kiss her. _She had absolutely no idea how sexy she was; her utter innocence was driving me wild. I had been with my fair share of women, but being with Anwen was unlike any of them. Her lack of knowledge was made up for by her innate sensuality. The wide eyed look that she gets when I touch her, make me only want to touch her more._

Her soft lips went from my lips to the curve of my face, kissing her way along my jaw bone. She would nip with her teeth and stroke me with her tongue and it was nearly intoxicating how she was making me feel. When her teeth took the lobe of my ear between them and she bit me ever so slightly, I felt like my entire body was on fire. I wanted her so badly. I wanted to hold her to me and feel myself surrounded my sweet, sweet girl. I wanted my lips to be everywhere on her, tasting every inch of her skin. I wanted to hear her moan and cry and scream out my name in ecstasy. I desperately wanted to be her lover, to be the only man who would ever lay claim to her body and to share every bit of myself with her. I rolled her over onto her back and covered her tiny form with my own. I fit so perfectly against her, knew that our bodies were meant to mold together. Her legs lithely twined around my hips and bum, instinctively anchoring herself to me. I rocked my hips forward and ground against her. I could hear her breath catch when I did, and the most beautiful moan wind it's way up her body, as if it started at the pit of her soul.

From this position, my mouth had full access to her delicate neck. I started behind her ear, and her hips bucked up to meet mine when I gently sucked on the skin there. I moved down the column of her neck, feeling her rapid pulse beneath the skin that I was tasting. I pushed aside the collar of her shirt so that I could sweep along the tender bone that often teased me from behind her clothing. The way her collar bone met with the hollow of her neck was one of the most sensuous parts of her beautiful body. Her little hands were roaming all over my chest and back, trying to find somewhere to grasp and hold onto. I could feel her nails rake over my skin, nearly desperate in their exploration.

My hand went to the bottom of my old Quidditch jersey which she had taken to sleeping in and I eased my hand underneath. I ran a thumb over her navel and she moaned in my mouth. Slowly and gently, my hand moved up her rib cage and rested just below her breast. _We had come so far in the last few weeks, I didn't want to scare her now. _I felt her small hand on top of mine, but over her shirt. _Shit, we're gonna have to stop again. I swear she's testing my will._ Then she surprised me, by urging my hand up. I felt her soft flesh and ran my hand over it. She moaned my name. We stayed there for a while, kissing, my hands moving from one side and then back to the other. Her little fingers were in my hair, on my back, reaching down to caress my backside. _Okay, we're doing well here, lets see what else she'll let me do. _

I reached my hand down and grasped the edge of the jersey and started easing it up off of her. She moved herself so that I could remove the shirt from her. When it was over her head, I threw it somewhere, and looked down at her face. I could see the fear in her. _Why is she afraid? I don't want her to be upset, if this is too hard for her..._Anwen's eyes broke from mine, moving her arm across her, looking somehow disappointed. _Is she afraid of what I'll think of her? How could she think I wouldn't ..._ I took her hand in mine and pulled her arm down gently, looking at the all the beauty that was her. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. Never had I ever seen anything as perfect as her nearly naked body.

The collar bones that had always enticed me lead to her slender shoulders. Her breasts were perfect, just round enough, just pert enough that they were pointing at me, nearly begging to be touched and kissed. Her waist was thin, and only the scar from her being ill all those years ago marred the creamy silk that is her skin. Her hips were rounded just enough, and I knew from touching her that her bum was high and tight. She wore some very small navy blue knickers will a little bow on the front, as if she'd wrapped up her sex as a special little package for me. I was awe struck at just how incredible my Anwen looked, and it did nothing but fan the desire in me. I ached, painfully, from my desire for her. I lifted my gaze and realized that she was looking at the sheets, and not at me.

"Winnie, you are so beautiful. So, so exquisitely beautiful," I ran my hand over her again, and she shuddered at my touch. I lifted my hand to her chin and tilted her head towards mine. "Look at me love," I asked her, she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. She looked so vulnerable. "Winnie, love..." I leaned down and kissed her, softly. I felt her meld herself to me, wrapping her arms around me pulling me closer. Her tongue ran across my lips and then entered my mouth and sound escaped from my throat. She pulled me even closer. I kissed her face, down her chin to her neck. I sucked at the delicate hollow in the middle of her neck and continued down until the delicate mound of her flesh was in my mouth. I could hear her struggle for breath. I moved my lips back up and was surprised when I tasted something salty. I opened my eyes, and saw that there were tears on her cheeks. _Shit._

"Love, why are you crying?" I said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course I do. You are more beautiful, more desirable, more wanted than you give yourself credit for. I love you. I dream about the day that I can make love to you."

"I love you too," she hugged me tightly, her arms and legs wrapping themselves around me. "Thank you," she whispered. I pulled her into me as tightly as I could and held her there. It was hard to stop, but something told me that Anwen needed to be held and loved more than she needed me to fondle her. _Time will come for the rest, but I think I'm going to need a long shower this morning._

The next day I was helping her pack up her trunk to take back to school, and was surprised to find books at the bottom it.

"Anwen, what are these books down here? You haven't had them out of here the whole time you've been home. If you don't need them, why don't you leave them on the bookshelves in here?" I asked her as I started to pick them up. We were in the room that used to be hers.

"No!" she screeched, sounding a lot like her falcon form. "Please put them back," she yelled, coming over and trying to snatch them from my hands. _Now I'm really interested in what these are. What the heck doesn't she want me to see?_ I lifted the books over my head, knowing that there was no way Anwen would be able to reach them, I stood a foot taller than her, and with my arms up, she didn't have a chance. They were paperback books, with colorful covers, like ones from her Muggle bookstores. I flipped them over in my hand and read the bindings. I nearly dropped them when I read the titles, and I coughed out my own laughter.

"You bought books about sex?"

I couldn't believe it, she was doing research about sex. Anwen had collapsed down on the overstuffed chair that we had Transfigured her old bed into and buried her head in her hands.

"Yes," she muttered, and at first I thought she was laughing, until I noticed that she shoulders were shaking, the way they did when she was crying. I put the books down and kneeled down between her legs.

"Hey, hey, Winnie, look at me," I asked her, rubbing my hands along the outsides of her thighs. She slowly lifted her head, and her embarrassment was written all over her face. "Honey, did you do this for me?" She nodded her head at me, still not making eye contact. She ran her fingers through her hair and then wiped her face.

"I didn't know anything, I mean really didn't know _**anything**_...I didn't even know that it was called French Kissing when you did it with your tongues, and things were moving along with us, and I could tell that you were getting frustrated, and I didn't know how to do _**anything**_ and I didn't have anyone to ask, so I went and got some books. Let me tell you, one of those there isn't for the beginner... Sirius, I haven't even ever seen a man naked, I mean I saw my brothers when they were little, but I doubt that you look like a seven year old and I didn't want to be scared, and...can't the floor just open up and swallow me whole right now?" she rambled on until she turtled her head inside of her shirt. It had been a while since I'd heard her get going like this, she had no idea how captivating it was.

"Sweetheart," I whispered in her hair as I pulled her up and held her to me, seating us together on the chair. None of this was coming as a shock to me, it was obvious just how inexperienced she was; the only surprise is the lengths that she went to get knowledge. I held her to me, kissing her head and stroking her arms. She didn't say anything for the longest time, and I didn't push; I just held her.

"Even before the attack," she started, talking no louder than a whisper, "I could see where things were going, and I knew that we'd hit a point where I really had no idea what to do, and I couldn't figure out how to tell you that I was scared, but I was still excited by it; so I figured if I did some reading, at least things wouldn't shock me."

"Honey, why didn't you talk to someone?"

"Who? Three of my best friends are guys, one of whom is essentially celibate; I knew that Remus wouldn't be any help, not like that was a conversation that I wanted to have. I couldn't come to you and say, 'hey, I have no idea how to pleasure you, so do you think you could draw me a diagram?' and there was no way that I was going to Lily or James because that meant that I would find out about what they were doing with the other," she explained, and it seemed to make sense.

"What about your roommates?"

"They had assumed that we were already...intimate. Books seemed like the better way to go," she explained.

"Hey, look at me," I begged her and she finally made eye contact with me. "You have no idea how much this means to me. You wanted to learn this stuff, so that you could make me happy..." I shook my head at her, in awe of the depth of her love for me. I grabbed her face and held it tightly between my hands. "I have never loved you or wanted you more," I told her before I kissed her deeply.

Anwen went back to school several days later. Professor Dumbledore agreed that it would be better if Remus and I took her, and all of her stuff, directly to school. It was hard to say goodbye, but we knew that we would see each other soon. I had been given permission to visit more often, and we would have Order meetings as well. She would apparate or floo with Professor McGonagall to the meetings. I didn't realize how used to having her there I had become. The bed was cold without her little frame wrapped around me, the house sounded too quiet. There was always music with Winnie here, now the silence seemed deafening. I had taken to going and hanging at the Manor. I was so happy when Dumbledore sent me to Wales and Ireland to do some recruiting. I was away from the memory of what I was missing.

The first Order meeting of the new year was held on a cold and snowy night. We were meeting at the Manor, since the wards were strong on the house and it was large enough to accommodate us all. I had been there for dinner with James, Lily, and Remus and we were waiting around for the others to come. Peter was with his parents, some sort of emergency. Professor McGonagall arrived with Anwen a good thirty minutes before the meeting. I caught Anwen right out of the floo, and pulled her to me, kissing her deeply. I could tell that the others were snickering, but I didn't care.

"Minerva, you do know the meeting isn't for another half an hour?" James asked through a hearty laugh.

"Really, I must have gotten the time wrong? Oh well, why don't we see if there is any tea in that kitchen of yours. I think these two could use some privacy," and with that, they all left. I pulled her to the couch and twined myself up with her. After a long while of rather passionate snogging, we broke apart to breathe again.

"Wow! I missed you," she said breathlessly.

"Good to know," I replied, looking at her. I wanted to drink in the loveliness of her face. "Are you nervous about tonight?"

"No. I had made my mind up a while ago. I'm ready for this," she said calmly, stroking the hair away from my face. "You planning to cut this anytime soon? It will be as long as mine soon."

"You never seem to mind it when your fingers are wrapped up in it," I said, kissing the place behind her ear that always makes her moan, which she proceeded to do.

"No, I don't, but it's getting a little too long now. I'm sure Lily would do it for you," I pulled away from her.

"No way. I will end up looking as clean cut as James then." She smiled at me, I went to the other side of her face "Maybe I'll ask Moony to fix it up. He tends to keep his longer, he wouldn't butcher it. Would that make you happier?"

"You make me happy," with that, she caught my lips with hers. We kissed until we heard Dumbledore in the entryway. We pulled apart, but I knew that anyone who looked at either of us would know what we were up to anyway. She sat down in her own chair, and I pulled the ottoman up next to her. We had already discussed the need to present ourselves as professional, especially given her age.

Dumbledore began the meeting by introducing her, and having her sign the parchment pledging her allegiance to the Order. "I know that there are some of you who are questioning the wisdom of allowing a her in, while she is still under age and in school. I can however let you know that it is because of the skill and calm she demonstrated while under attack this fall that membership was even contemplated. Miss Hodgson is already a registered Animagus as well as very advanced in her human transfigurations. She intends to become an Auror, which increases her risk of future attack as well. Her relationship with Sirius has proven to be a liability as well. However, all of this pales in comparison to something that we quite recently discovered about her. Something that should Voldemort know about, would put her at immense risk. Miss Hodgson, are you ready to demonstrate?"

"Yes, sir," I looked at her questioningly. _Don't even tell me that I have more reason to fear for her safety._ She smiled at me gently.

"Frank, Sirius would you please stand up as well. Sirius, please stand behind Miss Hodgson. Frank, will you do what we did in the office the other day," the Professor asked. I went and stood behind Anwen, and she took my hand as well as a deep breath and let it out slowly. She held her wand in her other hand, but it was down at her side. Frank was halfway across the room. Anwen had such a look of determination on her face.

"You ready?" Frank asked her. She nodded yes.

"Just stay behind me, and stay calm. You have to trust me," she said with deep resolve. Then I heard him, Frank cast a stunning spell, I reached for my wand, but before I could get it, there was a flash of light in the air in front of us. He did it again, silently this time, and there was another flash. I wasn't feeling the spells that he was casting, neither was Anwen.

"Now Miss Hodgson, could you please move away from Sirius," she nodded, dropped my hand and took a few steps away. I was still facing Frank, who still had his wand raised. "Sirius, put your wand away, and trust me," I heard her say gently. _If this were anyone else, there would be no way in hell I would do this._ I put the wand back in my pocket. Again, Frank cast a stunning spell, and again, there was just a small flash in front of me. Again he tried, and again he failed. I looked at Anwen, there was still the same look of determination on her face. Then Frank fired two more, in quick succession, one at me and another at her. They both simply flashed before us. Dumbledore thanked us all, and told us to sit down. Winnie was smiling brightly as she took her seat in the chair.

"Does anyone know what you just witnessed?" Dumbledore queried.

"She isn't, is she?" Mad Eye asked. Dumbledore simply nodded. "There hasn't been one born for a century in England. There's only one living isn't there? Are you sure?"

"Quite. Has anyone else figured it out?" Dumbledore asked. Everyone shook their heads no, everyone but James, he was just shaking his head in what looked like amazement. "Miss Hodgson is a visualist. Beyond that, we believe that she is a projecting visualist, which are exceptionally rare. She can see magic, her own spells, as well as the spells of others we believe. She has been working with Filius and I, and we think that we are just scraping the surface here. I do believe that you now understand my willingness to bring her into the Order at this time. It is not only for her safety, but so that we can understand her gift and consider the best way to work with it," many in the room nodded, I couldn't believe it. It explained so much about her though. I remembered what I had read in school: _Visualists rarely needed to cast spells aloud, and did well with Transfiguration because they simply changed the images in their minds and the magic did the rest. It also would explain why Defensive Theory gave her such a hard time. She didn't need to worry about it. She would recognize what was being thrown at her immediately, and simply counteract it, in her head. Wow._ "Miss Hodgson, please stand up. It is a tradition to have the symbol of the Order on ones body. I know you already have a charm, but I need to know, do you want something more permanent?" He was asking her if she wanted a tattoo. _ Given how well she reacted when I got mine, I doubt it. Although, she did enjoy the new one..._

"Yes, sir, I do. I don't want the protection to be ripped from me." _Didn't expect that one._

"Have you given thought to where you would like it?"

"I certainly have. Right here," she said pointing, "right on the shoulder blade the Death Eaters broke last year," she smiled at him wickedly. _That's my stubborn, beautiful and really effing powerful girl._ She slid the v-neck of her sweater over so that her whole shoulder was exposed and Dumbledore said the incantation, and the image burned itself onto her shoulder blade. I saw her wince in pain, but when it was over, Dumbledore added the Healing Charm to take the pain away. She pulled her sweater back over it and came and sat back down. I couldn't help it, I was so proud of her. I reached over and took her hand and twined my fingers through hers. _Damn it, it's not like everyone in this room doesn't know we're together anyway._

The meeting went on, and there was some discussion about the death of my brother, as well as some other attacks that had been occurring. Jobs were given out, and we parted ways. The Hogwarts staff agreed that I could take Anwen back to school, but we had to be there before midnight. I would floo her to McGonagall's office, and the Deputy Headmistress would walk her back to the common room with the excuse of private lessons to keep her out of trouble. James, Lily and Remus had remained and we were in the lounge. I had my arms around her, and she was in my lap.

"Do you understand how rare this is? I had a great-aunt in France who was one, and she could do all of her magic without her wand. She conjured things, could move large things with a furrow of her brow. Anwen, this is ...wow!" James was talking at her. I was still somewhat in shock.

"I would have told someone earlier, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I guess when I told Dumbledore about the attack, and seeing the bubble burst, he started thinking about it. He gave me some tests and I kind of was off the chart on them or something. We are going to keep working on it. He says it's more important than my NEWT's. I'm not sure I agree though. It would be nice to ace my tests," she said.

"You will do wonderfully I'm sure," Lily said, and then winced a little.

"Are you okay?" Anwen asked her, leaning off of me to grab Lily's hand.

"Yeah, I know I shouldn't be able to feel the baby moving yet, but I swear that he's kicking me."

"So it's a boy? You found out?" Anwen was excited enough to jump out of her skin.

"Oh, no honey, I just feel like it's a boy. We want to be surprised."

The conversation went on, and after a while, they all left us alone. Once they were gone, there was something that I needed to do. I moved her sweater aside, and kissed the beautiful tattoo on her shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" she asked as I placed her sweater back.

"Because I have never seen anything more wonderful than that, right where it is. You make me so proud," and I kissed her again. We stayed there, lost in each other, until the alarm Lily had set in the kitchen went off. I needed to get her back.

"Hey before we go, I know there is a Hogsmeade weekend for Valentine's Day. Do you want to go? I need to let Frank know if I will be there to patrol of not?" I looked at her. Her face was taught. We hadn't talked about the attack since Christmas, and she seemed so much happier, she had not however been back in Hogsmeade since the fall.

"Wow. I don't know. Can I think about it?"

"Of course love. You can let me know. There are still a few weeks. I will be up to the school next week to meet with Dumbledore again, and maybe we can have dinner and talk then?"

"I'll be waiting," she smiled at me, and leaned in to kiss me. I flooed her to McGonagall's office, with her clock striking twelve as we arrived. She was reading at her desk when we arrived. She closed her book and stood.

"Cutting it a bit close aren't you Miss Hodgson? Come on, let's get you back to the tower."

"Good night, love. I love you," she said exiting the room, pulled by the teacher.

"I love you too," I flooed back to the Manor and ended up talking with James and Remus about Anwen's newest skill until early in the morning.

We did meet, albeit briefly, on Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade. I took her shopping for chocolates and a new charm, and we shared a butterbeer with some of our friends, but by late morning, Anwen just couldn't take it anymore. She froze as we walked by the alley of the attack, and started shaking. I knew it was against the rules, but she needed out of there. I apparated her home. She slumped into my arms in sobs. We laid on the couch in the lounge for hours, I sent for Lily who gave her a calming potion and then went to Hogwarts to see Professor Dumbledore. Anwen was given permission to stay home for the rest of the weekend, and I returned her to school late on Sunday night.

Easter arrived in early April, and the Thursday before, I met her at the gates of the school. I had packed as much as I could from the clothes she still had at home, and told her what else she would need from school. She ran down the path with her small rucksack over her shoulder. I folded my arms around her and breathed her in.

"Are you ready?" I asked. She nodded and smiled that heartwarming smile of hers. "We'll be in Greece in a few moments," I wrapped my arm around her and pulled the smashed can from my pocket and tapped it with my wand, "Portus". It was a long ride, being that we were going so far, we were both a little disoriented when we landed in the small living room of the flat in Greece. Once we were both steady, I went and opened the doors to the small patio that overlooked the Corinthian Bay. As we walked out, Anwen's face was priceless, she just stood there, taking in the landscape.

"Sirius, it's beautiful; I've never seen water so blue. Where are we?" I walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, leaning down so that my head was on her shoulder.

"We're in Corinth, Greece; at the home of Chauffard and Marise Arbiter, who emigrated here from France five years ago, after their marriage."

"All right. How do you know them?" she asked, a little puzzled.

"Well, why don't you look at this," I handed her the French passport that I had pulled from my pocket. She opened it to the first page.

"Sirius, that's my picture. What are you saying? What did you do?" she turned her head slightly to look at me.

"Love, after the attack, I got worried. If things get bad, really bad, I wanted someplace safe for you to go. It needed to be somewhere that neither of us had ever been or had any connection to; so I chose Greece because I have always been intrigued with the magical history here. I went to the goblins and had them purchase the flat, create fake identities for us and the documentation to support it. There are separate bank accounts that I can move money into should we need it. The only ones who know are the goblins, and they are sworn to secrecy by duty to one of the ancient Wizarding houses. I even have a special Portkey that will get you here if it's an emergency. It's activation will alert the goblins who will in turn alert me. Love, please say something."

"You did all of this, so I could run away?" Her voice had no inflection to it, she just sounded flat.

"Not run away, but have a way to escape. Love, if they took you, if they were torturing you, or worse, you could activate your Portkey and be here right away. It's for emergencies only."

"Oh," was all that she said. We stood there in silence, until I couldn't take any more. "Please tell me what you are thinking. Your silence is killing me here," I said, spinning her around to look at me.

"I can't decide whether I want to kiss you madly because you care this much or if I want to beat the crap out of you for thinking that you have to protect me still," she said, looking up at me.

"Well, I'd prefer the mad kissing, but I also understand the part about being angry. Winnie, it's not that I don't trust you, or think that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, I just know some of what He's capable of," I said. I had moved myself so that I was now standing in front of her, reaching my hands up to grab her face.

"You are more precious to me than anything. I thought I had lost you; your body was with me, but the rest of you was gone. Winnie you talked about feeling lost after the attack, but without you there, I was dead. There was nothing to me. You have captured my heart and my soul, they are always with you, and I need to know that no one will ever take you from me," I was crying. I was always told that it make you weak to show emotions, but here I was doing it; and for the first time in my life, I didn't care. Her breath caught in her throat, and soon tears were falling from her as well. She couldn't form words, but her face said it all. Her lips crashed against mine, and I picked her up as we kissed. She surprised me when she wrapped her little legs around my waist and pulled herself fully against me. I moaned at the pressure she created where our bodies met and my hands slid down to cradle her bum. I carried her to the bedroom of the flat, and laid her down and was soon covering her body with mine. Something in her eyes was telling me that it was finally time, that she finally trusted me and felt safe enough.

I guided her slowly, watching carefully for any of the signs that the trauma from the attack was resurfacing, but none was evident. I slowly removed her little blouse, unbuttoning my way down her chest, letting my lips follow. She shrugged the shirt off, and then tugged on mine to release it from my jeans. I helped her pull it over my head, and again scooped her up in my arms, relishing the feeling of her skin against mine. I undid her bra with one hand and she looked up at me and smiled.

"Do I even want to know how you knew to do that so well?" she asked, and I shook my head at her. She shimmed out of the garment and again I was struck at just how beautiful her breasts were.

I covered her in soft kisses and I was enthralled with the way her hands felt as she ran them over my chest and back, gently sucking on my earlobe. I moved my hands down to the waist of her skirt, and she paused for a moment, looking at me. A sweet smile crept across her lips and she whispered, "I love you, let me give you all of me."

Her words were my undoing, and I felt my body react not only to her touch, but to the depth of the love that I felt for her. Her fingers undid my belt, and then my jeans. I was shocked and thrilled when the tips of her fingers dipped inside and caressed me. I quickly removed her skirt, and she was lying beneath me only in a pair of small, dark green knickers. _That is now my favorite color._ I kicked my jeans off, leaving me only in my boxers and then climbed back on the bed, lying down and pulling her down on top of me. I reveled in the friction that was building between us.

"You're sure about this, we get too much further along here and stopping will be very hard?" I asked her and she smiled at me.

"Make love to me, please."

I slid my hands inside of the back of her knickers and caressed her bottom, and then slid the fabric down. She kicked them to the floor as I rolled her onto her back. I sucked in a deep breath when I saw her, lying there naked before me. I wanted to remember it forever. She slid her hands inside to undress me, and I couldn't help but smile at the look on her face when she looked at all of me, and she bit her bottom lip, blinking her eyes in what resembled surprise.

I gently touched her, knowing that it would help for what was still to come, and her eyes grew wide at the sensation. I reveled at how her body knew to react, instinctively. Her breathing quickened and shock seemed to pass over her face as the waves of pleasure washed over her. When she was done, I kissed her lightly, grabbing my wand from the table beside the bed. I said the correct charms and laid my wand back down. The smile on her face was as soft and warm as I had ever seen, but the passion there was smoldering. I kissed her gently as we became one. Her face grimaced in pain.

"Are you alright?" I whispered at her, stroking her soft face.

"I will be, just give me a second. It kinda sucks to be a girl the first time," she smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. I kissed her again and waited until I felt her shift before I started to move. There was nothing like the look on her face. She was in awe and wonder and yet I could see the desire in her eyes. She slowly began to relax and move with me, several times she closed her eyes and made the most glorious sounds, and I knew that I was doing something right for her. I held off as long as I could, and when it ended I laid there, cradling her against me.

"Are you okay? Are you in too much pain?" I asked her, running my hand along her arm.

"Not as much as I thought I would be. It was actually better than I had hoped," she said back, frankly.

"Um, okay, not really sure how to take that."

"Well...see...Lily and I had quite a long talk about this. She kind of prepared me for what would happen and how it would feel. I expected more...um...discomfort. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it," she looked up at me with a wicked smile and kissed me. "Lily was surprised that we hadn't yet, given your...history."

"I see. Winnie does it bother you? The history part." Her head was resting on my chest, and I was running one hand up and down her back while the other was holding her head. Her free hand was playing with the hair on my chest and abdomen in a gentle, teasing manner.

"Yes, a little," she confessed. "I think it bothered me more when it was going on, and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew that I loved you then, and I was sure that you would never love me the same way." She wasn't looking at me when she spoke. I didn't know what to say. It was unsettling to know that I had hurt her, even if I didn't mean to do it. I never wanted to do anything that would hurt this amazing woman in my arms.

"I'm sorry I hurt you with all of that love." She pushed herself up on one arm and looked at me.

"Sirius, you weren't ready, and I was still far too young. It's in the past. I'd like it to stay there." She looked away and then laid down, rolling so that she was on her back now, lying next to me.

"There's something else bothering you, isn't there?" I asked her, and she was motionless for a moment; then I felt her head move up and down slightly, her hair brushing against my chest. "Tell me." She took in a deep breath.

"You've been with SO many girls," I winced at her emphasis of my past, but I couldn't deny it either. "I just worry I did it wrong. That I wasn't any...good at it." she added quietly. I rolled over so that I was on top of her, pinning her down with my weight. She needed to both hear me and understand.

"Anwen, love, look at me. You didn't do anything wrong. You were, it was...Anwen if I didn't know that this was the first time, I would have..." this wasn't coming out the right way, and she was just looking embarrassed and confused. The way you moan, sort of musically, it drove me wild," I told her, stroking her face with my hands. "The way that we fit together, the way that your touch ignited me. Anwen, nothing in my past prepared me for loving you. I will never want another woman they way that I want you. You are all I want for today, and the million todays that are to come." There were tears in her eyes as I leaned down to kiss her, my hand slithering down her body, and feeling her flesh react to my touch.

"I must say, I do enjoy the present," she smiled at me with that devilish grin when we were done.

"Really. What present did you enjoy the most?" I smirked back at her.

"Oh, well, I'd really have to think about that love. Hum, there are some things that Lily told me about that I would definitely like to try."

"Should we get started on that then?" I said rolling my hips against her and she groaned.

"Well, not right now, though I can tell that you are more than ready to do so – it's quite impressive there love," she said blushing. "I think that it would be best for me, if we waited a while. A warm bath would do me a world of good. Lily gave me a potion to use on the bath water. Can we wait till later, please? I understand that it's the second time that is far more memorable for a young woman."

"Well then, I will wait with baited breath for you to be ready, just promise it won't be too long," she wrapped her arms about me and dragged her fingernails down my back, it sent shivers down me.

"By the end of the night love, by the end of the night," she said, pulling me down to kiss her again. When we broke apart to breathe, I rolled off her, and pulled her against me again. I loved the way her hair felt against my chest as we lay there.

"I'm going to need girl moment here soon, but I don't want to leave here. I feel like if I move, everything will change, and this won't be real."

"My sweet little one, I promise that this is real, and that what we have here, now, we can have again as often as you want." I kissed her softly and she looked up at me and smiled. She pulled the sheet up around her, and headed into the bathroom, throwing it back out once she was in the loo. _There aren't any clothes in there. Maybe I should give her some. I love that we can get done making love, but she still needs to cover herself to leave the room. Her modesty is endearing. _I picked her clothes up from around the room and piled them next to the door for her.

I pulled my jeans on and went about to making the bed. I was glad right now that I had finally learned some household charms this year. The sheets were slightly stained, and I wanted it removed before she came back. I restored our luggage to it's usual size and then opened the window to let some fresh air in and sat back down on the bed with the satchel from Gringotts. A few minutes later Anwen emerged from her respite, and bounced over to the bed and crawled up into my lap. It felt so good to have her in my arms, and she smelled wonderful. I couldn't help but kiss her deeply. She smiled mischievously at me.

"You seem quite happy," I stated and she blushed against me.

"I am, that was quite...wonderful," she gushed and then looked down. "It was the first time that I had ever, I mean, not just having sex...I'd never felt my body, do what it did." I pulled away to look at her face.

"You're telling me that you've never had an orgasm?" She shook her head at me. "You never touched yourself?" I know I sounded shocked, but well, I couldn't imagine it.

"I lived in a one bedroom apartment where I shared a bed with my mother until I came to Hogwarts, and she always told me that if I did that, I'd go blind...I figured out that couldn't be true once I started sharing a flat with you. Confused me why you took such long showers," she giggled and I felt myself blush.

"Well, what about once you were at school? Trust me, everyone found a way to...relieve themselves," I told her, but she shook her head.

"I couldn't get the hang of it, and then I was attacked and..." she trailed off, and I didn't want anything to ruin today for her. I pulled her so that she was straddling my lap and I looked at her.

"Well, love, get used to it. I will make sure that you're never without that pleasure again," I promised her, and she bit her lip again and blushed, and I felt like I was ready to go again. "You will be amazed at the number of ways that it can happen," I explained then leaned in to let my lips graze her face, "and I can't wait to treat you to every, single one." Anwen gasped and the sound went through me and my body immediately reacted. I would have shown her right them, but I knew she wanted to wait so I kissed her and then rotated her around, and grabbed the satchel, dumping the contents out on the bed by us. I needed a distraction.

"Okay, so tell me about these people that we are supposed to be. What are their names again?"

"Chauffard and Marise Arbiter. I picked the names out myself," I said proudly.

"All right, interesting choice there. Arbiter means shelter in French; but, Chauffard, you named yourself 'reckless'. You did know that right?" she laughed at me.

"I thought you'd appreciate the humor in it." She must have, for she kissed me again. "Your name means 'beloved' for that is what you are."

"You know, the grand romantic gestures, they are a little overblown here," I nodded and smiled at her. _That was my plan._ "And, you're aware, you're spoiling me, right?"

"Forever, I will spoil you forever if you will let me," my hand was inside of her shirt, playing with her breast.

"Oh, all right," she sighed happily. "So, we're married huh. Did I enjoy my wedding?"

"Immensely, but the honeymoon was the best."

"I'm sure it was," she rolled her eyes at me. "We have bank accounts and such?"

"Yes, I had some funds already transferred into drachmas, but I want you to have money while we are here. This is a non magical home, but we can find the magical community if you would like. Part of me thinks that we would be safer, especially for you, if we live as Muggles. You shouldn't have any trouble, and I figure that you can teach me what I need to know,"

"Really...well I look forward to teaching you." _Who knew that she could throw the innuendo so well? I like this relaxed side to her. Maybe we will just stay here, never go back. _"So, what do we have planned while we are here? Wait what time is it anyway?" I pointed to the clock beside the bed.

"Well, there are some wonderful markets to shop in here, and I figured you would want to take gifts home to everyone, since you do such a splendid job picking up presents when you were in Australia," I said mockingly.

"You're not still mad about that tee shirt? Come on, I bought you the snow globe too, and that was like five years ago..." she whined.

"Winnie, it's fine, I was just joking. You have to take a joke better, or The Marauders are going to drive you crazy now. They've only been holding back because you're in school, but, that will be over soon. I'd watch out what they send you on your birthday as well, who knows what they might do now that you are of age."

"Great. Thanks for the warning. Come on, I want to go and see the sights. Besides the markets, is there anything else that we should see?"

"There are great ruins in the area, and I hoped that we could go over to Athens. I thought the ancient theaters might be of interest to you," she started bouncing up and down.

"Oh, Sirius, really. That would be, oh..." she was crying again, but this time it was happy tears. She quickly got up and threw a few things into the small purse that she had in her rucksack, and then produced a Muggle camera, and put it in her purse as well. _She truly thinks of everything._

Touring with Anwen was like being surrounded by a whirlwind. She had so much fun, and was so excited, I could do nothing other than be carried along with her. We went shopping and toured the city. We found a local restaurant that we loved the food at, and ate breakfast there nearly every day. I rented a motorbike (with my fake drivers license) and drove us into Athens. Anwen was not happy to be back on a motorbike, but loved being in Athens. I had planned for us to spend a day on a boat, until I realized, in the absolute worst way, that Anwen gets horribly sea sick. No charm or Muggle cure was able to help either. The boat trip ended quickly. We also spend more than a fair amount of our trip in bed. I felt confident that by the time we left, Winnie was enjoying herself much more than that first time. I know I did.

To keep up the illusion, and so that no one would know where we had really been, we stopped in Italy to buy presents for everyone, and then returned to England. When I dropped Winnie off at school, I gave her the emergency Portkey. It was a small silver band ring. She put it on the pinkie of her right hand. I showed her my matching one and she kissed it. Should she ever need to get to our flat in Greece again, all she would simply need to tap the ring with her wand, and she would be there, and be safely away from this war.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

**Coming of Age**

**Anwen POV:**

Coming home from Greece, I felt somehow different, older. We flooed from the Italian Ministry of Magic to the Manor. Lily greeted me with a knowing smile and immediately she wrapped her arm around me, and escorted me from the room. We walked and talked and giggled until it was time to return to school. _I wonder if this is what it's like to have big sister?_ Lily had become more than just a friend, she was my confidant and the only other person in the world who knew what it was like to be madly in love with one of the infamous Marauders. _With all that she has become to me, I hope that I have filled some of the void that was left by her sister's refusal to speak to her._

My birthday was on a Thursday two weeks later. I expected little celebration this year and it was fine with me. I had double potions in the morning, and then my private lessons with both McGonagall and Flitwick in the afternoon. NEWT's were only weeks away, I had more than enough to keep me busy. While it was still dark, I was awoken by something warm and wet on my face. My nose was assaulted by a familiar, and rather unpleasant odor. I opened my eyes to a large black dog with pale gray eyes.

"Come to snuggle up in my bed eh, Padfoot?" I whispered as I smiled. He licked my face again. _That's disgusting._ "I believe I have asked you not to do that before," I said while I wiped my face off. "Remind me to give you a bath when I get home too, you stink!" I could have sworn that I saw his doggy eyebrows waggle at me. "Come on, let's get downstairs before you wake up my roommates," I kissed his head and rubbed his side and pulled she sheets down. As I swung my legs over toward the floor, the big black dog head went up my nightgown skirt. "Bad Dog!" I whispered a him sternly. He bounded off for the stairs. Before I had even reached the bottom stair, Sirius' arms were around me, pulling me into a passionate kiss.

"I wanted to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday!" He whispered before his lips assailed mine again. He picked me up and carried me over to our favorite couch over by the fireplace. The fire had died, and the room was chilly, but I didn't need it to keep me warm. He laid me down on the couch and covered my body with his. Our tongues did the most delicious dance.

"So, let me guess...you snook into the castle, probably through the shrieking shack," he nodded "...and turned into your furry alter ego there..." he nodded again "...and decided to see if you could get up the stairs somehow," again he nodded. I couldn't help at smile at him. "And what would you have done if the stairs had realized that it was you and not really a dog?"

"I would have run from the castle as fast as I could. I wasn't going to stay here and deal with the howler alarm!" He laughed in his bark-like way. I kissed him to quiet him down. "I am glad it worked though, you're very sweet when you sleep, you were whispering my name. Care to tell me what you were dreaming about?" he asked seductively.

"Maybe I'll show you someday."

"I am so glad that you are finally of age!" He groaned as he kissed me again.

"Hey, what does that mean?" I asked him when he released my lips.

"Moony, Prongs and Wormtail have been giving me a hard time about my 'robbing the cradle'. It will be righteous for it to stop, finally."

"Remind me to hex them the next time I see them!" I said, and he threw his head back laughing.

"That, my love, is why you're the perfect WOMAN," I smiled at his emphasis of the word. We stayed there for a while, snogging greatly, he flipped me over, and I was straddling his lap, desperately wanting more, but I was unwilling to stoop to the use of a broom cupboard. After a while, I started to hear signs of life from the dormitories above, I decided we should stop, rather than be caught in a compromising position. I went upstairs and thew on some clothes and we took off for the lake. I hadn't communicated with the merpeople in a very long time. I sang for them, and Sirius stood behind me, holding me as I did.

"That is still so amazing. You're a wonder to me love," he sat down and pulled me into his lap, and kissed me very softly and sweetly. The sun was starting to come up, and the sky was turning the most beautiful shade of pink. Sirius' hands had found their way under my sweater, and was quite excited to find that there was nothing on underneath it.

"I brought something with me," he said mischievously, cocking his eyebrow up at me.

"Really, and what would that be?" I asked him, and he reached into his pocket and produced a flimsy bit of material. _I know what that is._

"How ever did you get it away from James, and what do you have planned?" I asked him and he just leaned his head down and kissed me deeply, his tongue sweeping along the roof of my mouth in a way that made my knees go weak. I watched as he cast a pair of charms: a cushioning one, and a warming one and he sat down, pulling me onto his lap, much like we were in the Common Room in Gryffindor Tower. He then threw the Invisibility Cloak over us.

"Thought that it might be wonderful to make love to you where it all began," he whispered in my ear as his hands went to remove my sweater. The sun was only just turning the sky from pink to yellow, and there was mist rising up from the lake; it was simply beautiful. Sirius pulled my sweater over my head, and I knew that I should feel somewhat nervous about being half naked, out in the middle of a field, but I didn't care. He dropped it to the ground and I grabbed his jumper and pulled it over his head as well. There was no more glorious feeling than his skin on mine.

We snogged quite passionately for a while, me straddling his lap, delicious friction being built up between us, but I nearly hit my breaking point when he leaned down and took my breast in his mouth. From our position, I could arch my back to give him better access, and the feeling was amazing. It didn't take too long before we were fully undressed and I was curled back around him. From this position I could watch our bodies meld together, and I now understood why Sirius was so fascinated with watching while me made love.

"We're so beautiful together," I whispered and it was apparently Sirius' undoing, because it took him nearly no time to finish. When we were both spent, he gently laid us down, repositioning the Invisibility Cloak over us and whispered that he would need to be leaving soon.

"I don't want you to go. I don't suppose that I could take a dog with me to class today, huh?"

"Winnie, I can't stay, even though I very much want to. I have to go away for a while. Dumbledore needs me to go to Bulgaria for the Order. I'll be gone for two or three weeks," _Bulgaria, that's so far away._ Tears were forming in my eyes. "Hey, don't cry please. James is going with me, so I'll be okay. We were supposed to leave yesterday, but I had to see you today. I'll send word as I can, but it might be hard," I nodded my head. "Don't worry, we'll be fine. Now, look at me, your present was too big for me to bring with me, so you will get it when you are home at the end of the term. Okay?" I nodded at him, still trying to hold back the tears. "Please don't be worried okay, everything will be fine. Now, give me a smile before I have to go," I gave him a half hearted smiled and he kissed me again. He helped me get dressed, and then quickly dressed himself, and we got up from the ground, folding up the cloak. Sirius pulled me into a fierce hug, then he lifted my hands and kissed both the rings that he had given me. "Go on, go back to the castle, and enjoy your birthday," I nodded and turned and ran as fast as I could, holding back my sobs until I was far enough away that I was sure he wouldn't hear me. _Some happy birthday this turned out to be._

The weeks dragged by. I passed my apparition test straight away, I only needed two lessons. The whole visualization thing made it really easy. I was also making great strides in my Transfiguration lessons. I had spent an entire day disguised as a visiting official from the ministry; the Professors knew of course, but I even fooled my friends.

Professor Dumbledore pushed me the hardest though. I was now able to not only explain what I was able to see with my own spell-casting, but I could do it with other peoples magic as well. I could differentiate who cast the spell by the color of it, and he was teaching me to project what it was that I was seeing. He had also had be begin working with me on conjuring. It was harder than I thought it would be, but he explained that it was going against magical and natural law, so it took a fair amount of power. On more than one occasion though, he let me know that I was making impressive progress, and I should be very proud of myself. After each lesson, I would pester him for news, and each time he would remind me that it would be hard for James or Sirius to report back, but he was sure that they were safe.

Finally, a few weeks before NEWT's were to start, I couldn't take it anymore, and I left campus to visit Lily. Remus had chosen to stay there while James was away, in case she needed anything, as pregnant as she now is.

"Anwen, how are you doing?" Lily said, hugging me as I walked in the door. I was happy to be able apparate for a change, rather than floo, much cleaner. _ She was getting so big._ _I swear that she is giving birth to a defensive lineman there._

"Um, let's see, I'm worried about Sirius, my NEWT's start soon, and at the rate I am going, I will get into the tests and be sure to forget everything that I've learned. I start my Auror training just one week after school is over, and in between I am going home to visit my family in Wales for the first time in years. Plus, the Ministry just let me know that I will be in the field by December, as advanced as I am. I'm fine Lil, how the hell are you? Oh god, I think I'm gonna puke again," and I ran for the loo. When I came out Lily and Remus were still laughing at me.

"Anwen, I think you need a Calming Potion," she said, attempting to get up, but stuck in the chair. I couldn't help it, and I started laughing at her.

"Sorry. I don't need a potion, what I need is a pizza and a pint and a weepy girlie movie! How about it Lily? Up for a day in London?"

"You know, that does sound like fun, but only if we do some shopping first," Lily said smiling.

"I will never turn down a shopping trip, may not buy anything, but I love to window shop. Come on, let's get out of here," I said, giving her a hand to get out of the chair.

"Remus, you want to join us?" Lily asked him.

"Well, shopping and girlie movies? Not exactly my cup of tea. How about if it's a girls day out, and I will hold the fort down here? Lily, you can reach me if you need me," he said giving her a gentle pat on her shoulder and a sweet smile. She nodded at him and we were off. We shopped and talked and laughed and cried and for a while I forgot everything that was worrying me. Lily was exhausted by the time that we got back, and I stayed to make dinner for us all, while Lily napped.

"How are your lessons with Dumbledore going?" Remus asked me while I was cooking. Well, I wasn't really cooking. I had three knives chopping things, and a spoon stirring something on the stove and I was simply managing the magic. I realized that I needed an onion, but the bin in the kitchen was empty. I conjured a small one, and set another knife to chopping it. Remus looked at me surprised. "Clearly you've come a long way. Wait, doesn't that go against the laws of magic?"

"Yes, and no. From how Dumbledore explained it, normally you can't create something from nothing; but since what I can see in my mind and my magic are completely intertwined, I'm not really creating something. He said it's instead like moving it from one reality to another. To be honest, the physics don't make a darn bit of sense to me. It's a little like Star Trek science," I said.

"Star Trek?" he asked me, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, it was a Muggle television show from America when I was a kid that my Da liked, about outer space explorers, but the science always seemed a little fudged to me. Anyway, Dumbledore says that conjuring is just so rare, that people don't understand it. Do you want to see what I can do now that is really cool?" I asked him, smiling.

"Yeah, if you think it's cooler than conjuring."

"Oh it's cooler," I took a deep breath. "I need you to cast a spell. Just a little one, summon something or even just cast a shield charm," Remus pulled his wand and threw up a _Protego_ _Charm_, and the air around him started to glisten in a warm caramel color. "That's your magic. I can see everyone's magic clearly now, and everyone has their own hue. Neat huh?"

"That's beyond neat, that's remarkable!" He was clearly in awe.

"Thanks. Lily is the most amazing opalescent pink and James is the brightest blue. Peter is darkish brown and Sirius is a vibrant spring green. I can even see the baby's magic, it's a kind of gold shimmery color. I wonder if it's all babies that look that way, or if it will stay once he or she is born?" I knew I was grinning wildly.

"You've learned all of that in just a few months? That's amazing!" He said getting up and crossing around the table. "I am so proud of you," he took me by the hand, and helped me stand, and embracing me tightly. "It's an honor to call you my friend."

"Well, I've felt that way for years," I replied. I was still hugging him when I heard someone enter the kitchen.

"Gone for a few weeks, and you move in on my girl Moony?" I turned around to see Sirius coming in through the kitchen door. He was holding James up, and they both looked awful. They were dirty and their clothes were ripped and they were covered in cuts and bruises. I broke away from Remus just as we heard the alarms from the wards go off. Remus and I pulled our wands.

"Get them upstairs to Lily's room. You have to keep them all safe, I'll see what's going on. Members of the Order will be arriving shortly. Go now. Throw up whatever protections you need, I will patronus in when we know what's going on," he said, as he took off for the front door.

I ran over, grabbed James and Sirius and closed my eyes. I hadn't ever side-along apparated anyone, let alone two people, but I needed to do it now. A moment later, we were all upstairs in the bedroom, falling near the foot of the bed, Lily was just rousing, the alarm having awoken her from her rest.

"What happened? What's wrong with James and Sirius?" she yelled at me.

"I don't know. All the sudden they were in the kitchen and then the alarms went off. Remus went out to check what was going on outside," I was talking and throwing charms at the same time. I silently sealed all the doors and windows and put up a silencing charm just for good measure. Then I closed my mind, and pictured a brick wall built up around the room, and covered it in the shimmering bubble that I knew was my strongest protection spell.

Lily was on the floor with James and Sirius, beginning to heal their wounds. I knelt to see what I could do to help. James was bleeding badly, and had a huge black and blue welt on his head. Lily was crying and cradling his head.

"Lily, you have to calm down. Come on, we need to get him cleaned up, and figure out if there is anything else wrong. I need your help here, you are much better at healing than I am," she started to heal James, and he spoke her name. She relaxed when she realized that he was awake. I looked down at Sirius, he looked completely exhausted, but he started talking to me, telling me what had happened.

"We had just apparated back into England, from a stop over in France on the way home, when we were ambushed by some Death Eaters. Bella was there, along with her oaf of a husband. The sadistic ass that Cissy married was with them. We were so surprised that they were able to get hold of us for a while, but we weren't the Marauders for nothing. They were enjoying beating the crap out of us too much to notice that we had untied each other, and were able to escape into the woods. Once there, we changed and took off running. They were looking for two humans, not a big old dog and a stag. I thought we were safe, but someone sent a stunner at James. He immediately changed back and I went and grabbed onto him, and brought us back here. I thought I felt someone holding onto my foot, but I wasn't sure," Sirius spit out at me, between coughs and deep breaths. I held him to me, healing what wounds I could.

"It's okay. Remus heard the wards go off and went to investigate. Half the Order should be here by now," I told him. He looked up at me, his gray eyes filled with concern. He was still lying on the floor, I was cradling his head in my lap, trying to stop the bleeding on his chest.

"I really need to lie down. Transfiguring back and forth, and then apparating us both..." and he passed out.

"Sirius, Sirius. Come on wake up Sirius. Lily, how is James?"

"He's healing."

"I think Sirius just passed out. Can you tell if there is anything else wrong?" I said, the desperation becoming evident in my voice. She crawled to the side of the bed where we were, and ran her wand over him.

"He seems fine, but we really should have a healer take a look at them. I think they are both just exhausted," I nodded at her, and tried to calm myself. Just then, a beautiful silvery white wolf landed in the room.

"You can open the door, all is clear," Remus' voice floated through the room. I stood, and began taking down the spells that I had put up. Then I went over to the door and opened it, Remus and Professor Dumbledore walked in, followed closely by Madame Pomfrey.

"Whatever it was, there was nothing there when I got out there. How are they?" Remus asked, entering the room. He immediately rushed over to his friends. Lily and I started to recount what they Sirius had said, and all that had happened. The headmaster listened intently, not saying anything. Madame Pomfrey had begun to heal the wounds, and had ordered Remus to take Lily and sit her down on the bed. I helped the school nurse in any way that I could, but for the most part I just stayed out of the way.

"They will be fine, they just need some time to rest and heal completely. Let me have a look at you Lily. You shouldn't be exerting yourself right now," she said gently. Lily allowed her to examine her, and she let her know that both she and the baby were fine. We got the boys into their beds, and I took up a vigil at Sirius side. Professor Dumbledore came into the room.

"Miss Hodgson, I need to know what you did to the door. I couldn't break through the charm with any spell or counter spell I knew," he said gently, remaining in the soft light from the hallway.

"Um, I sealed them and put a silencing charm on as well, and then I pictured a brick wall and covered it with a bubble. Why?"

"No reason, it was rather impressive. I will inform your head of house that you will be here until tomorrow night. Good night," and with that, he was gone. Remus helped me move Sirius to 'our' room and I laid down next to Sirius, brushing his hair from his forehead so that I could kiss it. The emotional roller coaster of the day must have caught up with me, because I was surprised when Remus woke me up to bring me some of the soup that I had made for dinner.

"Thanks. How are Lily and James?"

"He's still asleep, she was awake, ate a little something and then I think she went back to sleep. It's been quite a day," he said, sitting down on the chair by the desk.

"Tell me about it. Kinda puts my getting nervous about the NEWT's back into proportion. If something had happened to him..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"It's all fine now. When they wake up we can find out the whole story. Try to get some sleep," he told me quietly, and he left the room. I finished the soup, and laid the bowl and spoon on the secretary. I took off my jeans and slid into bed next to Sirius, curling up with him. As my arm trailed across him, I felt him stir.

"Winnie?"

"Shh, I'm here. You're in the Manor, everything is okay now. You got James home all right," he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're here, hold me," he sounded scared and broken somehow. I raised up on one arm to look at him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, his eyes just looked through me, not really at me. He wrapped himself around me, and pulled my head back to his chest. "I'm just tired," he replied. I decided to leave it alone for the night, and was just thankful to be back in his arms.

The next morning both James and Sirius were up, and the Order was all here by late morning. They recounted their tale, and told Dumbledore that they had gotten what they had been sent for. The handed him a small bottle full of silver-white stands. Dumbledore put the bottle away, saying nothing more about it. As they told the story, the details about their transfigurations were left out. No one knew of their Animagus forms except for the six of us. _Something is off about how they were nearly caught. How would the Death Eaters have known to stun a stag that way?_

Once everyone else left, it was just the Sirius, Remus, James, Lily and I. Peter had run off after the meeting. There was something wrong at home, again. We didn't want to rehash it all over, and I wasn't ready to share what was rumbling around in my head, so I decided just to leave it.

"Well, if you are ready for a change of pace, Anwen can show you something really cool?" Remus said.

"What cool thing have you been showing off?" Sirius asked me, his eyebrow cocked at me.

"Nothing like that," I said, blushing slightly. "I was showing Remus some of my newly learned skills. Anyone want something from the kitchen?" Remus was smiling at me knowingly.

"I thought you were going to show us something," James said.

"I am. So does anyone need anything?" I asked again, trying not to burst from excitement.

"I could use a cup of tea," Lily said, nestled against James, holding onto his arm tightly.

"All right," I closed my eyes and pictured the cup of tea. I held my hand out flat, and a steaming cup of tea materialized in my palm. "I put in a little sugar and cream, just the way you like it," I said, handing it to her. They had the same look of disbelief that Remus had yesterday. I turned aside and looked at Sirius. He smiled at me, but his eyes were still not making contact with mine.

"I'm so proud of how far you've come," he said, kissing my forehead. _That's all I get for learning to conjure things?_

"I can't do anything larger than a quaffle yet, but Dumbledore says that it will get better as I practice more. I haven't been trying so hard though, since I've been studying."

"You have to show them the other thing," Remus said, barely able to contain himself.

"Thanks for spoiling my surprises there, you prat. Remind me not to tell you what I get anyone for Christmas this year," I had hoped to share it with Sirius alone. "Okay, everyone take out your wands," they did so "...and cast a simple spell, like levitating something." A few small items started floating around the room. I concentrated, and the air was filled with sparkling colors. Lily and James magic danced together above their heads. I made mine visible as well, "Watch this love" I whispered at Sirius, and I moved my fingers so that they wove together. My magic was a beautiful shimmering silvery gray color. I watched his face, he was fascinated for a moment by the twining threads of magic, smiling brightly at them, and then he looked at me, and sadness ripped through his eyes. I lost my concentration and the colors disappeared from the room.

"What's wrong Sirius?" He shook me off. I looked to James but avoided my gaze. _What the hell had happened while they were away?_

The afternoon dragged on, Sirius refused to look at me, hold me, kiss me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I finally dragged him upstairs and pushed him down on the bed, pealing my shirt off. I crawled onto him, and straddled him. I kissed him, hard, pushing my tongue into his mouth, moving against him. He pushed me aside, and sprung off the bed.

"What the hell?" I yelled at him. "I have never, ever known you to pass up sex. Even when you were about to break up with a girl!" I stood up in front of him, my hands on my hips. "What the hell happened while you were away?"

"Anwen, God I am so sorry. I didn't want it to happen, but it did, and I feel so awful for it," Sirius said, raking his hands through his hair. I felt my heart drop.

"Just tell me what happened," I said quietly. He sat down on the edge of the bed. I stayed where I was.

"We needed information. We were told about a Potions Master, who is working on something that can bind one soul to another. Dumbledore thinks that this could be very important for us. Anyway, there was a woman who had the some information, and she had taken a certain shine to me. James thought that we might get her to tell us what she knew, if I was...nice to her," my mouth was dry and I could feel that the blood had drained from my face. "It went further than I had wanted," my breathing was getting heavy. "She wasn't giving it to us, and we needed it, and we were afraid that if we stayed any longer, we might blow our cover story. So James decided that he would just pull the memory from her, Dumbledore had taught him how. My job was to distract her," he was whispering now.

"Just tell me, please," my imagination was running away with me. I could feel tears forming behind my eyes.

"I kissed her. God, Winnie, I am so sorry," he put his head into his hands. I started laughing. He looked up at me.

"Why are you laughing?" He was looking at me like I had lost my mind. I ran over and tackled him, pushing him down on the bed, kissing him.

"You, the once mighty playboy, Sirius Black, was afraid that I was going to loose it, because you kissed someone. Ha, I never thought that I would see the day," I was on top of him, laughing so hard. "You silly, silly man," when my laughter had subsided, I continued. "I have two questions for you. Did you enjoy it?"

"No. I felt awful. I was taking advantage of her and all I could think about was how you would feel if you knew," I smiled at him.

"Good answer. Now, number two. Do you still love me?" He looked at me shocked.

"Of course, with all of my heart."

"Another good answer. You tell me that nothing else happened," he nodded at me. "Then there is nothing to be that upset about. I'm not thrilled, but love, it was work. I had to kiss people on stage, it's the same kind of thing. Just remember, the rest of you belongs to me," I started peppering his neck and face with kisses. He smiled his most mischievous grin at me. "Now as long as you're not thinking of her right now..."he shook his head "...then do you think you can find some other way to occupy the time before I have to go back to school?" He nodded and pulled me down to him.

I finished my exams and left Hogwarts with very little fanfare. Sirius and I were going to Wales to visit my family for the week that I had off, but we had a day and a half before our train was to leave. Sirius wanted to drive his motorbike, but I told him I thought my Da would have a fit if he brought me home on that thing of his. When we materialized in the house, I was greeted by the most adorable dog, barking and running around at our feet.

"We have a dog?" I asked confused. "Because there was a lack of four legged, furry creatures around our house already?"

"It was for company. Her name is Molly, and she's a border collie," he said, rubbing behind her ears gently.

"I see. I'm away at school, and you need companionship. Should I wonder about what doggie games you may have played with her in my absence?" his face fell and then moved to shock.

"Anwen, I would never...even as Padfoot!" I smiled mischievously at him.

"I know," I said smiling, lacing my arms around his neck. "It's just so much fun to tease you love. I guess I can bathe both of you together, unless it would be to much for your delicate sensibilities?" I teased.

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" he asked, kissing my favorite place behind my ear.

"I believe that would be you, love," I said seductively. He kissed me fiercely. "Okay, no doggie games, I trust you," I started to walk away, but his arms were around me, lifting me up and carrying me up the stairs. "Sirius, what are you up to?"

"I am going to show you never have any reason to question me again," he said, walking into his/our room, and kicking the door shut. He put me down and started kissing me. I was wearing a purple sun dress and a light sweater. He slid off my sweater, followed by pulling off his shirt. He led me over onto the bed, kissing me again. _Man, I am glad that I am home. _ I was reveling in the beauty that is his amazing body, when I noticed what looked like a new tattoo poking just slightly over the top of his rather low slung jeans.

"You got some more art there I see," I said smiling at him. _I was warming to the way he had been decorating himself. They most definitely made him look sexy._

"Why don't you take a closer look?" he grinned back. I wagged my eyebrows at him, and undid the button and slid down his fly, just a little. There on his hip, right over his hip bone, was a full color tattoo. The subject made me catch my breath and smile in shock.

"A big black dog, swimming in a lake?"

"A beautiful lake, love," I looked a him. His face was plastered with the most seductive smile I had ever seen. The dog seemed to move along in the lake, and the water appeared to ripple.

"Is it enchanted?" I asked him, running my fingers over it. He shivered when I touched it.

"Yeah. I hope you like it?"

"A little risque don't you think?" He nodded knowingly at me, "But, oh, I like it. I definitely like it. Like I've marked my territory," I said, smiling at him. I eased all the material of his pants aside and kissed it, using my tongue to trace it. He moaned in pleasure. I started to ease the jeans down over him.

"Going commando today I see," he nodded at me. I finished my task, kicked off my shoes and then I pulled my dress up over my head. "Good thing I am too then," I melted back into him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: **

**Sweet Little Man**

**Sirius POV:**

_She will never cease to amaze me when she is sitting there, playing and thinking._ I was sitting in the lounge, watching her small hands move over the keys of the piano that I had bought her for her birthday. This is the way that she worked through things, she would study for a while, and then she would go and play her guitar or the piano. I would just marvel as I watched her do this, knowing that without these moments of freedom and release, she would have imploded from the pressure she was under. I went back to reading the paper, until I heard the music stop. I looked up and saw her elbows resting just below the keyboard, her palms massaging her temples. She had taken the reading glasses that she had recently started wearing off, and they were laying on the top of the piano.

"Another headache?" I asked getting up and walking to her. I took over rubbing her sore head for her, as she leaned herself back into my stomach, sighing as I touched her.

"The glasses were supposed to help the eye strain, but the headaches keep coming back. The healer said that if I just took more breaks from reading that it would help, but I have so much to cover, and no time to do it in," it was the end of July, and she had been in Auror training for nearly three weeks, and she had spent nearly all of her waking time reading or researching when she wasn't at the Ministry. She was expected in the field by December, which gave her only six months to learn all the magical law that she would need. My hands moved from her head, down to her shoulders. Her muscles were tense from all the time she spent hunched over the dining room table, reading.

"I think that you need a break. Moody can't expect you learn all of this in the first month. Come on, let's take a day off and go somewhere. You can even drive," I said, smiling at her. Her parents had given her a used car for her graduation and birthday gift this year, and she loved to go out driving in it. I hated to ride along, she was just too cautious with it. She wouldn't let me drive it either, not until I got a real license, since I had never bothered with one for the motorbike.

"It sounds good, but I already feel like I'm behind," she whined. _Behind, she's bypassing the Auror Academy and going right to her apprenticeship, with Alastor Moody no less. She's far ahead of where she should be. I think that they forget how young she really is. Someone s going to protect my sweet girl from exhaustion and burn-out. Time to pull out all the stops, we need a day away. She desperately needs to relax _I bent over and started kissing her neck and shoulders. "Hey, that's not fair. I told you, no distracting me while I'm studying."

"You study too much," I whispered in her ear, my cheek caressing hers. "Come on, we can go and see the sights, maybe catch a Quidditch match somewhere. Someone has to be playing today. Anwen, you're working too hard. You've got all this law to learn, dueling with Moody and then your visualization lessons with Dumbledore and what's her name," I sat down, straddling the piano bench behind her.

"Sirius, just because you don't have to work, doesn't mean that I don't..." her voice trailed off as my hands started working on other parts of her body. Words collapsed into a series of moans and purrs. "...fine, I can take some time off today, but I have to finish these chapters before class on Monday. Where should we go?"

"Bed?"

"I thought you were going to take me out today?" she said, swatting my hand away. Where moments ago I was succeeding in making her clay in my hands, now all disciplined Anwen was back.

"Fine, you can drive the car somewhere, and then we can go in the backseat," I said, wagging my eyebrows at her.

"Hey, what kind of girl do you take me for? I'm much classier than a back seat, mister. How did I end up with such a scalawag?" _What a little tease!_

"Scalawag? You found me charming, remember?" I gave her the lopsided grin she loved.

"Yes, that must be it. Come on, let's get going, I at least need some shoes," she said, ticking my bare feet with her littler bare ones. Then she pushed me off the piano bench, and I fell backwards onto my bum, hitting the floor with a loud thunk. She padded off in her toward the stairs,as the phone rang. We had installed the Muggle phone line a few years ago, when Anwen was doing dance and the theater. Now, almost no one called us on it, they mainly just Patronused or sent an owl.

"Hello..." I heard her answer. "...hi Mrs. Evans...really?...no not a problem at all...no, I need to put some shoes on and then we can get over there...sure...I will have Sirius come and get the two of you...right, I understand. All right...I'm so excited too...see you in a few...goodbye," there was a brightness to her voice as she spoke, and she hung the phone up. "Lily is in labor. James is freaking out, so she called her Mum, she wants me to come and sit with her in the delivery suite. Can you go and get the Dr. and Mrs. Evans and take them to St. Mungo's? It's too hard for them to park and then have to use the visitors entrance," she said, bouncing back into the room. I had only just gotten to my feet. She hugged me and was dancing around. I hadn't seen her this excited in a while, it was refreshing.

"Calm down, let me go and get cleaned up and I will see you at the hospital in a few," I kissed her lightly.

"Okay, I need shoes and my purse and then I will be off. Love you," she said, running up the stairs. There were still times when her energy was overwhelming, this was one of them. She ran back down the stairs. "Patronus Remus too, he was going to run some errands today, so that he knows. Peter was at the Manor when her water broke, so he already knows, made him pass out at the sight. Please tease him about it for me. Bye," she went out to the back porch and I heard a familiar pop as she apparated away.

The waiting area in the Maternity Ward at St. Mungo's was not a large space, and with Dr. and Mrs. Evans, Remus, Peter and I sitting in it, it seemed even smaller. The door to Lily's room opened and James walked out.

"She threw me out, she wants to see you Mum," he said to Mrs. Evans. James took her seat as she rose and went into the room. "Apparently, I am getting on her nerves. Anwen rubs her feet better. Anwen's voice isn't grating on her. Anwen didn't do THIS to her. I hate your girlfriend right now Sirius," we all laughed at him, since we knew he didn't really hate her. _I have to admit though, she is very calm in a tense situation. I would rather have her around than James any day. Well, I really wouldn't want James to do some of the things she does to me either...okay, that was a disturbing image._

"Can't help that everyone loves her more than you. Just shows we have taste Prongs." I teased him. He shot me one of those looks to let me know that now was not the time. "Come on, let's go get something to eat and by the time you come back Lily will want you around again."

We left Dr. Evans upstairs, and went downstairs for some tea. _What he needs is some Firewhiskey, but I don't think that they have any here._ We relaxed for a few, and then went back upstairs. James tentatively opened the door, and stuck in his head.

"James Potter, where the hell have you been..." Lily shrieked at him. He slunk his way into the room.

"You told me to go away," he said, and we heard her let into him as the door closed.

"Ouch, I do not want to be him right now," Remus said. He had so much respect for Lily, but right now it was hard to see her as the gentle, healing friend that we had all come to rely on. The door opened again, and Anwen snook out.

"Okay, well, that was interesting. It was like being in a parallel dimension in there."

"That bad?" I asked her, as she came down to sit in my lap.

"One minute she's screaming at him, the next she's crying, then she wants to snog him because she's so happy their baby is almost here, then she's about to break his fingers. It was crazy. I get that the babies are worth it, but man, that's like hell in there," she said.

"So, does it make you want to have children?" Remus asked her, with a half smile on his face.

"Hey, I'm the oldest of five, big families are in my blood. I love kids, can't wait to have them. I mean, I don't want them yet, or even while the war is going on, but someday," she said, turning her head to look at me. "Just promise me, that when I am giving birth, you just put a silencing charm on me until it's over because that was, well, weird," she shuddered at the thought.

"Well, that will be my gift to you then. Silence you, then run the hell away. You'll be better at the whole parenting thing than me anyway. Won't catch me getting turned into a Dad," I said laughing.

"Oh. Hey, um, I think I'm going to go find the ladies room, I'll be right back," she said, getting up and walking hastily away. I watched her, enjoying the view, _all that dance makes for one very pleasing arse,_ until I felt something hit me on the side of my head.

"Hey, what the hell was that for?" I said, looking at Remus who was holding a folded up newspaper in his hand.

"For being such a bloody git. She just said that she wanted to have kids, and you're dating her, basically told her that you want to be with her forever, and then you announce that you want nothing to do with children. Idiot," he said. I looked at both Peter and Dr. Evans and they were nodding in agreement.

"She couldn't possibly think that I would make a good father? Come on, we are talking about me here."

"Sirius, did you ever ask her?"

"No. I mean it's Winnie. She was thankful to not have to take care of her sister and brother when she got to school," I told him. Winnie had told me that first night that she was glad that she wasn't expected to babysit anymore when she got to Hogwarts.

"Sirius, she was eleven. She's grown up a hell of a lot since then." It was rare to see Remus so worked up.

I stopped to think about what he just said. Yeah, I guess she had grown up. We sat there in silence again for a while, reading or relaxing. I must have dozed off, because I never saw Winnie come back from the loo. Less than an hour later, James came out, holding a little bundle in a blue blanket in his arms.

"Guys, Dad, I'd like you to meet Harry James Potter," he looked like a little James. His head was covered in dark hair and he had the roundest little face, but when he opened his eyes, they were bright green just like Lily's. James handed him over to Dr. Evans, who not only looked at the little boy as a grandpa would, but you could tell that he was inspecting him as a doctor as well. James took him back, and asked me to come into the room, he and Lily had something that they wanted to ask me. Following him back in, I saw Anwen was sitting on the windowsill by Lily's bed. Their heads were close together in conversation. She smiled at me when I came in. _Remus had to be wrong, nothing's the matter. I didn't upset her. _James handed her Harry and she stroked his face and kissed his head, and started singing to him.

"Padfoot, Lily and I have talked about this. Since you are my best mate, and you stood up for us at our wedding, we wanted to know if you would be Harry's godfather?" James said, Lily was nodding. Anwen looked up from Harry, smiling at me.

"Really. Are you sure?" I asked in disbelief. If I wasn't sure I was father material, I didn't think I'd make so good of godfather material either.

"We are. No one would care for him and watch out for him more," Lily confirmed. _Gentle Lily love had returned and the beast from earlier seems to have gone._

"I don't know what to say?" I replied.

"Say yes," she countered.

"Yes."

I was stunned, but when Anwen came over and put Harry in my arms, and kissed my cheek, Something changed in me. I looked into Harry's little face, and felt powerful and powerless all at the same time. In that second I knew that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

Anwen smiled at me, but there was something in her eyes, and she bit her lip. _She doesn't realize it, but she does that when she's trying to hide something._ She went back to sit on the windowsill. I looked down at Harry. He was perfect. "Hey kid, I'm your Uncle Sirius. I have got some stories to tell you about your parents. Your Dad was crazy about your Mum, but she wouldn't give him the time of day for years. Your Dad and I, we used to get into all kinds of trouble together, I'll teach you all of our secrets..."

"You'll do no such thing! He's going to be a good boy," Lily snapped at me, smiling.

"I'm a good boy," I said with fake sincerity.

"No, you're a cad Sirius Black," she laughed back at me. Anwen had slipped behind me, and had invited everyone else into the room. Moony and Wormtail came in, followed by Dr. Evans. Mrs. Evans had taken out a camera and was snapping Muggle pictures right and left. We could take the negatives and have Wizarding prints made as well. I gave a sleeping Harry back to Lily, and went to sit on the now empty windowsill. It took me a while to realize that Anwen wasn't in the room anymore.

"Do you mates know where Anwen went?" No one knew anything, so I excused myself to go and find her. It took a while, but I found her in the hospital chapel. She was sitting in the pew, it looked like she was praying. I sat down next to her.

"Kinda surprised to find you here," I said, taking her hand in mine.

"Lily and Harry made it through the delivery safely. I thought I should say thank you. Why aren't you in there spoiling your godson?" She said, looking forward, staring at the flames of the lit candles, her voice quiet and timid.

"I didn't know where you'd gone to."

"Just here. It's something my grandma always told me. When good fortune comes your way, you should thank God for it. So I'm here doing that."

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, it was just intense in there. Amazing, but intense. I remember my Ma giving birth to Islwyn, but that was different. I would definitely prefer to give birth magically..." she just trailed off.

"Hey, look at me," I said putting my hand under her chin, turning her face to mine. "I didn't upset you earlier did I, because honestly, we're talking about me ..." she shook her head.

"No Sirius. It's not the time anyway. There is a war going on, and I'm only seventeen, no..." I kissed her. _I knew that she would understand. She wasn't for the whole mother thing either. We were having too much fun here._ She ended the kiss quickly. "Come on, let's get back. I got my gift for Harry, and I want to give it to them," she said, picking two boxes from the floor next to her.

"Hey, what's in there? How did you get those?"

"Sirius, I can conjure things remember. I just made them come here from where I had them at home. As for what they are, they are things that are from Auntie Winnie. Come on," I took the boxes from her, and slid my hand down her back, to rest in her back pocket. "Sirius, please, we're in public," she sounded frustrated and she took my hand from her backside, and twined her fingers through it. We walked back, and when we got to the room, Lily looked at her questioningly, and mouthed something. Anwen just nodded at her and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, these are some gifts for Little Harry from Auntie Winnie," she said.

"Auntie Winnie, I like the way that sounds," James said, putting his arm around her and kissing her on the top of her head.

"Thanks. James, you can open this one-first. It's kind of a gag gift, but I liked it," he took the flat box, and ripped the paper. Inside there were two jerseys. The first was from the Cardiff RFC. "This kid is going to appreciate rugby as well my dear friends. I am going to make sure of it," the second jersey was from the Holyhead Harpies.

"No way. He is not going to be a Holyhead fan. Portree all the way," James piped up.

"I know," she smiled at him. "It was just so cute. Anyway, something tells me that he is going to be a Holyhead fan one day, just a feeling."

"Did you pick it up while you were there?" Lily asked her.

"Yeah. It was in the team shop, and it was so little; I couldn't resist. I figured I should spend some money there since I wasn't accepting their offer," she said.

"Wait. Holyhead offered you a spot?" I said in disbelief.

"On the reserve squad, as a Seeker. I knew I wasn't going to take it when I went up, but I just wanted to see what might happen. You were away, and I didn't take it, so I didn't say anything. I have other things I need to be doing with my life right now anyway," she said solemnly. _I had no idea that she would have even considered a Quidditch career. She was certainly good enough. _ The room got quiet. "Well, James take that baby from your wife, she needs to open the other box," Anwen said, trying to lighten the mood. James took Harry and Anwen pushed the bigger box over to Lily. She opened it to reveal a lidded wooden box.

"You'll need a wand," Anwen said, Lily took her wand from the small table next to the bed. "Now open it," inside there were six little orbs floating above the velvet lining. They were turning and spinning and seemed to be glowing from inside. "Touch one with your wand," Lily touched the pale purple one, and immediately the ball grew in size and started projecting pictures of flowers on walls and ceiling. They were drifting and moving across the surfaces in a hypnotic dance. Then music started, it was Anwen's voice, singing a lullaby. We all stood in silence for a moment, just listening and watching.

"It's a lullaby box. Each one is different, but they will all help send him off to sleep. I took the ideas of a music box, and this light projector thing that my Ma had for Eira and combined them with magic. You can even charm it to play them all over and over, while he's falling asleep. Might help you out on those nights when you really need to get some rest yourself," Anwen explained. Lily had tears in her eyes.

"Anwen, it's...it's amazing. Thank you so much. He'll always have Auntie Winnie to sing him to sleep," she was reaching up to hug Anwen. They held each other for a moment, Lily whispering something in her ear. When they broke apart, Anwen was crying too. James handed her Harry, and as she held him, she looked at him and just cried. It suddenly felt like we were intruding on something very personal between her and Harry.

"Well, I think that we should let the little mother and baby get some rest. James, Dr. and Mrs. Evans, Peter, Sirius, should we go out and celebrate?" Remus suggested.

"Hey, I'm in. I could eat a horse," I said. Everyone laughed.

"Tell us something we don't already know. Lily, do you mind?" James asked her.

"No, go. I need to feed the baby soon and then I think we will both want a nap. Just come back soon love," she smiled at him, and he kissed her lightly.

"Come on Win," I called over to her.

"You know Sirius, I think that I could use her help. Go on without her, you can snog her at home later," Anwen nodded at me, and I turned and left for a night out with the guys...and Mrs. Evans. _Oh well._

Four months later, I found myself at the manor, with Anwen. We were babysitting Harry while James and Lily were out for the evening. It was Anwen's idea, she said that they hadn't been out, alone, since Harry had been born and she volunteered us for the nights work.

"I cannot believe that you think that. There's absolutely no way. How could you say that about your friend?" she spat at me, as she was walking from the kitchen back to the lounge with a bottle for Harry.

"Winnie, there have been too many coincidences, someone is giving Voldemort information about us. Personal information, and he's been acting strange," I said back, following her. She picked Harry up from the playpen, and then sat down in the overstuffed chair with him in her arms. She sprinkled a little of the milk on her wrist and then situated him in her lap, and started feeding him.

"He's been acting strange because you have been such a git the last few weeks."

"I'm not a git. He has been acting strange; he moved out," I stretched out on the couch.

"Yes, Sirius, he moved out because you accused him of giving Voldemort information. How you could think that Remus was giving him information is beyond me. We are talking about Remus here, the man is gentler than Ivory soap," she said sternly.

"What?"

"Never mind, Muggle reference. Sirius, he's in the house, here. Could you please keep your stupid ideas to yourself while you're here, or just go home? I won't let you insult him while you're here tonight."

"You won't let me. What do you mean you won't let me?" she was getting on my nerves.

"Sirius, he's one of your best friends, and you're acting like an arse. So yes, if I have to hex you to keep your mouth shut, I will. Stop and think about it. What in the world would he gain from it? Voldemort killed his father, he hates him, there is no way that he would betray us. I think that you are right, someone is getting information about us, but there is no way that Remus is the one giving it to him. I am sure of it," she said, taking the bottle from Harry's mouth. He was protesting. She looked at him, and her voice changed. "Now, I know you want that back, but you have to give me a burp first. Come on Harry, one little burp and you can have it back," she was holding him over her shoulder, rubbing his back and patting his bottom. Harry let out one rather large burp for such a small child. "That's a good boy," she said, kissing him and settling him back down on her lap, resuming his feeding.

"You never reward me for burping at dinner," I said with a little laugh.

"Well, the next time you need me to rub your back and pat your bottom to get you to burp, I promise I will kiss you too," she said sarcastically.

"How about if you just rub my bottom and kiss me?" I said, wagging my eyebrows at her.

"If you promise to drop this silly idea, and apologize, I will rub and kiss any part of you that you would like," she smirked back at me. _Hot damn, good night for me tonight. I really love this girl._ Harry finished off his bottle, and Anwen sat burping him for a few more minutes. "He's starting to nod off. I'm going to go and change his nappy, and then get him to sleep. Can you promise to be good while I'm gone?" I nodded at her, and she kissed me. "Once he's asleep, I'll come back and reward you for your good behavior," she turned and walked upstairs.

**Remus POV:**

_I could hear them downstairs. It had just gotten sick of his stupid comments and had left a few days ago. Granted, this was Sirius talking, and we all had learned to take him with a grain of salt, but he really did get on my nerves. I hated to leave Anwen though. She was so overwhelmed with everything, and I knew that she was getting nervous about the job that Dumbledore had for her. She would be leaving soon, and I really did want to support her as best as I could, like she had been doing for me for all of these years. She was talking with Harry in his room, I could hear her through the open doors._

"...now Harry, I have some things to tell you about your family. Your grandma and granddad are very special people. They are kind and sweet, and they always made me feel at home. Your grandma even made me a birthday cake and sent it to Hogwarts for me. Your Mum is my best friend, she's almost like a sister to me. I love her so much, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her to talk to. Your Da is my hero. He literally saved my life last year. I promise Harry, I will always protect you, the same way that your Da saved me. Your Uncle Peter is quiet, but he's loyal. He looks at you like you're amazing. Your Uncle Remus is the gentlest man I know. Now, mind you, some people are scared of him, because he is a werewolf, but he would never hurt you, ever. He had the biggest heart. And that leads me to your Uncle Sirius," she stopped and sighed. "He's your godfather, and I love him so much, some days it hurts me inside. He does things before he thinks, and he can be a little self centered, but he would die before he ever let anything happen to me, or to you now. He can't wait to teach you to fly, and how to get girls – which he did his fair share of, and now, somehow, he wants to be with me. I think that I am the luckiest girl in the world because of it. I'm not always sure what he sees in me, but he swears that he loves me. I'm just not sure that I'm enough for him..." there was a pause, and I swear I heard her sniffle. I got up off my bed and walked to the door frame. "I'm your Auntie Winnie, and I love you so very much. When you grow up I want to teach you all about music, and art, and I want to take you to see the important things in the Muggle world, the things that I grew up with, so that you don't ever have any stupid ideas about Muggles and Muggle born Witches and Wizards. Now Harry, I have to go away for a while, I need to go and help a man who may be able to help us all. While I'm gone, I have a job for you, you have to keep your Uncle Sirius safe. See, I'm so afraid that he will go and do something stupid without thinking while I'm gone..." I know I heard her catch her breath, "...and I won't be here to stop him," I eased myself from my door, across the hall to stand in the door of the nursery. She was cradling him close, rubbing his face with her free hand. She was rocking back and forth in front of the crib. She kissed his head and laid him down in the crib, and gently covered him. Somewhere in all of this, she had started to gently hum to him, and she continued to stroke his face while he was lying down, until the song was done. I cleared my throat. I didn't want to scare her when she turned around.

"Oh, Remus, I didn't know you were there. He just nodded off. I'm sorry, if I'd know that you wanted to see him, I wouldn't have put him down so fast."

"Please, I see him all the time now. I heard what you said. Thank you," I smiled at her gently and walked into the room.

"There is nothing to thank me for. Remus, I feel like I should apologize to you. He's being so stupid right now, I'm embarrassed for him, because when he comes to his senses, he is going to want to crawl under a rock!" she smiled at me warmly.

"Winnie, we both know that you have no control of his ideas or his actions, no matter how hard you try," she threw her head back in amused agreement. "Are you ready to go?"

"Just about. Dumbledore is making sure that all the arrangements are complete, before I go, because we are only going to get one shot at this."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yeah. I mean, six months of training, and now I'm off. Dumbledore has faith in me, so does Head Auror Divens, so I guess...but yeah, I'm nervous."

"When are you leaving?"

"In the next few days. Look, let me go down and talk with him, okay. He isn't thinking clearly. Someone is feeding Voldemort news, but I am sure that it's not you," she said, coming over and taking my hand. Then she walked by me, and headed back downstairs. I couldn't help but smile at the balm that she had brought to my heart tonight.

**Sirius POV:**

She was so quiet I didn't even hear her until she was on top of me, opening my arms to lay herself on top of me, as I stretched out on the couch, reading.

"Is he asleep?" I asked, before my lips met hers.

"Soundly. We should have several hours here," she said, her lips meeting mine again. She had been so tense lately, and studying so much, that I felt like we never had any time alone. I flipped us over so that I was covering her. Things were getting enjoyable when I felt her pull away. "Not that I'm not having a good time here, but, we aren't shagging on the couch of our friends lounge, that's just rude."

"Hey, I bet no one is sleeping in our bed upstairs? Care for a little romp for old times sake?" she rolled her eyes at me.

"No. You can wait until we get home," I wasn't giving up that easily. My hands were inside of her shirt, playing with the clasp on her bra while I kissed behind her ear. "Sirius, please not here," she moaned at me. _I'm winning this one._ I was starting to unhook it when I heard noise in the entry way.

"Sirius, Anwen, Remus. Are you here?" It was James. I quickly moved my hands and got up off of Anwen while she straightened her clothes. I could hear Remus bounding down the stairs.

"Yeah, we're in here," I yelled, James and Lily came in, looking a bit disheveled themselves.

"You're back early. What happened?" Anwen said, getting herself up off the couch.

"Voldemort. We had gone out for dinner, and we were taking a walk through the park near the restaurant, and he just came out from behind a grove of trees. It was just him, and thankfully, there was no one else around," James replied.

"Where is Harry?" Lily asked, worried.

"He's asleep upstairs. I put him down a little while ago," Anwen answered.

"I'm going to go and check on him," she ran out of the room, nearly knocking Remus over as he stood in the doorway.

"What did he want?" I asked James.

"Wanted to know what we knew about the French Potions Master. Wanted to know if Dumbledore had any plans for him. I lied of course. He promised that we would all be safe, if we joined him. Said he could find a special place for me, as talented as I am," James sneered in disgust. "Said he would even over look Lily and Harry's blood status, since I was a pure blood from such an old and respected family. I laughed at him, and said that it would be a cold day in hell when I joined the ranks of his morally depleted idiots. He didn't like that much, tried to curse us, but I grabbed Lily and got us out of there. We Apparated all over before I brought us home."

"Does Dumbledore know?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, when I was sure that we were safe I got word to him. He should be here any moment," Lily came back downstairs, holding Harry in her arms.

"He's still sleeping the little angel," she cooed at her young son, walking back in and taking a seat on the love seat. Anwen went to sit next to her.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" she asked Lily, gently stroking her head, there was a small wound on her temple.

"It's nothing. I hit a tree branch when James shoved me behind him. It doesn't hurt," she said, never taking her eyes off of Harry. There was a whoosh, and flash, and Dumbledore erupted from the floo.

"Are you both all right?" he asked as he emerged.

"We're fine. Lily was worried about Harry, and she has a little cut, but other than that, nothing happened. I think he knows as much as we do, I didn't give him anything, and I kept my mind closed so that he couldn't read my thoughts, even though I think he was trying," James answered.

"I'm sure he did," Albus retorted and James continued to recount the events of this evening, Dumbledore asking questions to glean more information. When James was finished, Dumbledore turned to Anwen. "Miss Hodgson, beg pardon, you are no longer a student, Anwen, are you ready, I believe that time may be of the essence here."

"I am sir. I need to grab a bag from home, but I can be on the boat in the morning if that's what you wish," she replied. I knew she was going to have to leave soon, and it was going to be dangerous, but did it have to be in the morning?

"Sir, are you sure that it's wise to send her..." I started to protest, but Anwen cut me off.

"Stop. We've been over this. I am the person best suited to this, and I can do it without raising suspicion. No one thinks that I'm done with my training yet, and I can disguise myself completely. I will be fine, and I will be back here as quickly as I can. Don't pull this now, please," she was standing in front of me, hands on her little hips, a determined look in her face.

"Maybe you could take your dog with you?" I asked her, wrapping my arms around her, resting my chin on her head.

"They don't let you take your dog with you to school. No. Stay here, you have your own contacts to work on."

"Is your Transfiguration ready?" Dumbledore interjected.

"Yes, sir," she pulled away from me, closed her eyes and transformed herself, completely. She grew a few inches and gained a few pounds her hair shortened up and turned a bright red, almost the same color as Lily's, with flowing curls. Her face sprouted freckles and her eyes turned a bright blue. She was dressed in a heavy cable knit woolen sweater and plaid skirt. "I believe that it would be hard for any of you to recognize me now," she said, her voice thick with an Irish brogue.

"I would have to say that you are correct," Dumbledore answered her, as she Transfigured herself back. "Head home, and try to get a good nights rest. I will make sure that Madame Brigitte will meet you at the Paris train station, and help you establish your cover. You should be able to find Mr. duChamp quickly, since our intelligence states that he is not far from Beauxbatons."

"Thank you sir, but I know I will be fine. I just hope that I can persuade him to come back with me. If the Death Eaters are indeed after him, it will make my job easier. I'll send regular reports back to you, sir."

"I know you will. I will take my leave, I am glad that you are all safe. Take care Anwen. We are depending on you," Dumbledore and turned and flooed back out. Anwen turned back to Lily.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm sure. I've got James and Remus here to help. Go home, relax and be safe," she had tears in her eyes.

"Lil, stop. We are all fine. I'll be home in a few weeks, I can't miss my little man's first Christmas. Who is going to sing him carols, hum? There are few men in this room that expect Christmas biscuits. I will be fine. Are you okay now?" Lily nodded at her, and Anwen hugged her, then leaned down to kiss Harry. "Remember what I told you earlier my little man. You have a job until I get back," she whispered to him. As she stood up, I looked at her questioningly; she shook her head. "That's between Harry and I. Come on, get me home. I need some sleep tonight."

James and Remus both came over and hugged her. "Guys, it'll be fine, there is a good chance that no one will know that I am even in France. Stop worrying about me, please. I am not a child anymore!" She said, throwing her hands up and waving them in the air. None of us could help but break out in laughter at her. I put my arms around her and picked her up, carried her out to the front stoop and Disapparated her home.

"I hope that you weren't really planning on going to sleep just yet?" I said, holding her up, so that her face was parallel with mine.

"No, not just yet," she smiled at me. "The hardest part will be being away from you. I love you so much," she said, hugging her little body to me.

"I love you more, and I plan to show you just how much." I caressed my lips against hers and carried her up to our room. I knew that it would be weeks before we were together again, and I had become spoiled; having her here, making love to her whenever I wanted.

I carried her to the bathroom, with the magically enlarged tub, and quickly turned the water on.

"Sirius, I need to get some rest," she complained, halfheartedly, and I simply kept kissing her face, moving to the place behind her ear made her weak.

"We will, love. I need this," I whispered to her, and I felt her head loll against her neck. Soon we were undressed and in the tub, coming together in the most delicious and rather wet way. When we were done, I carried her to our room and curled around her, holding her as she slept. I didn't sleep much, instead needing to watch her as she dreamed, making sure that I could remember all the intricacies of her face.

Before dawn, she Apparated herself to the safe house in Dublin, so that she could establish her identity, before leaving for the boat for France. I felt somehow empty and nervous when I realized that I had no idea when she would be in my arms again.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

**Things that were Unseen**

**Lily POV:**

"Look, we have no proof! There is no hard evidence, there is innuendo and speculation," James was yelling again.

"I agree, but our sources tell us that Voldemort himself was bragging about killing her. That he took pleasure in causing her death. Our sources have never been wrong before," Dumbledore replied calmly, trying to keep the Order meeting from spiraling apart. Sirius was sitting on the window seat, staring out of the window, again. _He hadn't moved much in the last few weeks, since Anwen had left. He had tried to go home, but was back within twenty-four hours. He couldn't stand to be in the house alone. I'm not sure that being here was much better for him, but at least he had put aside his stupid argument with Remus, maybe only for the time being. There were other things, bigger things on his mind._

"Have we been able to check on her family?" Remus asked, tension in his voice.

"The Order has sent someone out, but it is rather remote and we are stretched very thin right now," Dumbledore replied. James and Remus were both seething at this point. The vein in my husbands head was throbbing again, and I could see it from across the room. I turned my eyes back to Sirius, he still had the bottle of Firewhiskey in his hands. He hadn't really been without it in the last few days, since the window had passed for a message from Anwen. Harry stirred in my arms. Christmas was only days away. _Please don't let his first Christmas be marred in this way._ I prayed silently.

"James, has anyone from the other side tried to contact you and Lily again?" Frank Longbottom asked him.

"No," he said, shaking his head, but I knew that he was trying to really shake his mind free from the thoughts that had been plaguing him. "Not since Voldemort that night in the park. I doubt that it's over though. I'm afraid that he knew what we were up to, even then."

"I think that you're right. He sent Lucius Malfoy a few nights ago to my home," Frank replied. The room gasped. Frank went on to recount the tale. Alice was sitting next to him, nursing little Neville, not making eye contact with anyone but her young son.

"So what are we going to do, let them pick us off, one by one?" A dark voice said, full of anger and sarcasm. I looked over, and Sirius had gotten up from the window seat, and was walking towards Dumbledore. He stood over six feet, two inches now, but was sinewy and lean. His forearms shown, both sporting symbolic rune tattoos. His dark hair hung to below his shoulders, and it cast deep shadows on his face, his eyes were dark with anger and frustration. The fact that he had spent days drinking did nothing to improve his worsening temperament. He strode over and was face to face with the Hogwarts Headmaster, leering at him. "What's your great plan there, oh fearless leader?" James and Remus had stood up and were walking over to intercept him.

"Sirius, we know that you're upset, and drunk, but picking a fight isn't going to help anything," James was talking to him quietly, attempting to pull him back.

"It's all right James, Sirius has made a point. We have been on the defensive for so long, we have forgotten what it's like to mount an offensive. We have nothing, yet, to work with, but I am working on something that could prove useful for us all," Dumbledore spoke back, so calmly that it was frightening.

"You are making plans, you are setting things in motion, while WE have to do the dirty work. Do you even remember what it's like to be out there risking yourself," Sirius spat back at him. James and Remus were trying to pull him away, but Sirius was too strong for them.

"You all knew the risks, and were well aware of the potential costs."

"DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT COSTS. SOME OF US HAVE SACRIFICED A HELL OF A LOT! GRAND IDEALS ARE WORTH NOTHING WHEN YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT IS GONE! IT'S A HOLLOW COMFORT IN THE DARK AT NIGHT, WHEN YOU'RE ALONE. WHERE IS THE PROTECTION THAT WE WERE PROMISED?" Sirius roared, and lunged for Dumbledore. Then, suddenly, Sirius fell into a heap on the floor, lifeless. James had his wand drawn.

"Sorry, but I wasn't sure what he would do next. I'll take him upstairs and get him to sleep it off. He's been stressed for the last few days. If we had some word from Anwen, he might be in a better place," James said, trying to apologize for his best friends behavior. With that, I saw my husband levitate his best friend, and take him from the room, Remus and Peter followed him.

"I know that the stress is getting to all of you, and it doesn't seem like we are making any progress, but we are. The groundwork is being laid for greater deeds. We just have to keep the faith," Albus Dumbledore said, sounding as if he was pleading.

"So, what are we going to in the meantime?" Alice asked meekly. I could see faces around the room nodding their assent.

"We keep trying to bring others to our cause, and keep working to get the truth out."

"It doesn't feel like much sometimes," she said, no louder than a whisper. The silent agreement of the assembled mass was heard powerfully. No one wanted to think that the great Albus Dumbledore didn't know what to do next, but it certainly felt that way right now.

The meeting turned to some other business, Dumbledore reporting on the work that Sirius had been doing, before he became to distracted to continue. He had made some remarkable progress, had gotten information that we needed. No one had bothered to ask him exactly how he had gotten it, but he always seemed darker and more upset when he got back, but the ends equaled the means. The front door opened, and Caradoc Dearborn walked in, his heavy winter cloak wrapped tightly around him, snow covering his head and shoulders.

"What news do you bring Caradoc?" Dumbledore asked him, extending his hand to the windswept gentleman.

"Not good, Albus. The entire family has been wiped out. Even the children. It was a dreadful sight. The Muggle police were there, trying to investigate, but of course, there was no evidence for them to find," he said, gravely.

"I'll make sure that a team of Aurors is sent out in the morning. They may be able to find some magical evidence," Mad-Eye said.

It was suddenly hard to breathe, imagining what the poor family had gone through before they were mercifully given death. I looked into the face of my sleeping infant son and wondered if he would ever be safe, really safe. The thought sent a chill through me. I heard descending on the stairs as James and Peter walked back in. James looked at my face, questioning me with his eyes.

"The family was killed," it was all that I could get out before I became too choked up to speak. He put his arm around me, comforting me. When I could I whispered, "How is he?"

"Still out. Remus is staying up there with him for now, I figured we can take turns until he wakes up," James said flatly. No one moved, the only signs that we were alive was the rustle of breathing.

"Well, I think that we have covered all that we can for this meeting. Please, enjoy your holidays," Dumbledore said, but it sounded hollow. Too much had happened, too quickly.

Just then there was a loud whoosh, and the room filled with a bright blue light. Two people, draped in dirty cloaks fell into a heap on the floor. Their faces were hidden from me, but the one on the top lifted their head and looked around the room, coming to rest on Dumbledore.

"Who died?" the smaller one asked. The voice sounded somehow familiar.

"Marlene McKinnon, her family was murdered as well," Dumbledore replied. Mad-Eye was standing, with his wand drawn. Dumbledore saw him out of the corner of his eye. "Put that away, she's in the Order," the person drew down the hood covering her face, and I saw a mass of bright red hair. "Perhaps it would be better for everyone if you got rid of your disguise as well," he told her.

"Sorry, I've been holding on to it for so long now, I forgot it was there," a sweet Irish accented voice said. With that, the hair darkened to a soft chestnut brown, lengthening to the middle of her back. "Well, this isn't the 'welcome back' that I was expecting," she turned around, and when her eyes met mine, all the emotions of the night hit me, and I started crying. "Now why are you crying Lily? I told you I would be back for Christmas! There is my little man, where my big one?" Anwen said, smiling brightly at me.

"Anwen, I believe that you have someone to introduce to us?" Dumbledore stated, sounding almost cheerful as he chastised her.

"Oh, shoot, yes," she turned herself and helped the other lump of a person into a sitting position. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Order of the Phoenix, I present to you, Ewan duChamp, Potions Master extraordinaire," he removed his hood and smiled at us all.

"Wait, what did you just do? Why do you look different?" the gentleman that she had brought in said.

"I'll explain later. This is what I really look like though. Go on, introduce yourself." Anwen wrinkled her face up as she spoke, and then made a shooing motion with her hands. Her spirit refreshed the room, and it felt as if we had all been resuscitated from a long, painful sleep.

"Hello everyone, it is a pleasure to meet you all," he said, in a distinctly un-French way.

"I thought he was French?" James said.

"We all did," Anwen answered with a giggle. "Turns out, he's Canadian. He was working in France, hoping to be able to find a way to get to us. He knows about what's going on here, and wanted to help. Why am I talking for you?" she questioned. "Here, talk for yourself," she said brightly, popping up and offering him her hand. Ewan stood and started telling his story, and as he spoke, Anwen came over to us.

"Winnie, we were so worried when we didn't hear from you," James said, hugging her.

"I was afraid of that, but I couldn't get a message off once we were back in the UK. We've been moving from place to place, trying to avoid the Death Eaters. Ran into Bellatrix again, I really hate her. We were almost caught twice, but I'm too quick for that now, aren't I?" she said, smiling brightly, her hands on her hips. "I needed to get back home for Christmas. How is my little man?" she said, softly caressing Harry's head.

"He missed his Auntie Winnie, you do the best job putting him to bed at night," I smiled at her.

"Well, I missed him too. I love the smell of his head," she said, leaning down to kiss and sniff his head. "Now, I had hoped that Sirius would be happy to see me? Where is he?"

"He's upstairs. I stunned him and put him in bed to sleep off the Ogden's," James said sheepishly.

"What in the bloody hell happened?" she screeched. Everyone in the room turned to look at her, and then broke out laughing at the horrified look on her face. "Okay, someone want to start at the beginning and don't leave anything out."

**Anwen POV:**

_I had been looking forward to sleeping in a bed tonight. We had been on the run for a few days, since we left France. Things were fine while I was there, I found Ewan fairly quickly, and we were able to hide at Beauxbatons for a while where he continued to work on his Potion; but then the members from French Ministry came to inspect their castle, looking for Ewan. We had to get out of there quickly, and I hadn't had a chance to arrange the final travel plans with Dumbledore before we took off. All I wanted was to get home. I had tried to have us travel back as Muggles, but the French Ministry and some Death Eaters were waiting for us on the docks. It was a challenge to get us out of the country, especially without the benefit of any identification for Ewan, except for his real passport. Definitely need to cultivate some relationships with members of the different international Auror corps. If we'd had just one ally in France I could have been home days ago._

I was able to Apparate us across the channel, but it left me drained, and I had to hold my disguise up. Bella and her husband seemed to have a sixth sense about where we were to be, and how we would be traveling. I finally gave up on the plan, and instead of heading to London went through Wales and western England to finally get us to the upper edge of Scotland. It was a tiring trip, and throughly unpleasant. The only thing that kept me going was the need to keep this potions master safe, and my desperate desire to be with the man I loved.

_However, instead of sleeping soundly, wrapped up in Sirius arms, I'm sitting in the stupid chaise watching him toss and turn in his sleep. I needed to know what demons were tormenting him tonight, but I also need to know how I was going to handle him. I am so angry at him. He had acted stupidly and foolishly because of his reckless concern to protect me. Most of what pains me as of late, has been caused by his hand and his callousness._ I shifted myself in the chaise, trying to work the kinks out of my muscles. The ones in my neck and shoulders were the worst, so I lifted my hand and cast a Healing Charm over them. I slouched and kneaded the flesh between my eyes and took another cleansing breath.

_Why was I still here? I know that it's been hard on him; but it hasn't been a picnic for me either. I had days between my exams at Hogwarts and the beginnings of my studies to be an Auror. While the rational part of me understood the haste, the childish part of me just wanted time to be a girl, in love with her boyfriend. I wanted a summer without a job to spend in bed with him until all hours of the afternoon. I wanted to take off for the beach or for a leisurely tour of the city. I longed for the simplicity that had been denied me for so many years._

_I knew that Sirius didn't like my working. He had no desire to have a career of his own, instead dedicating himself to the work of the Order. There were things that he could have done, even with the lackluster results of his Hogwarts education. He was brilliant at Charms - both the Department of Mysteries or Gringotts would have leapt to have him in their employ. He knew more about Astronomy than anyone that I knew, and he could have gotten his masters in the field without pause. Hell, he probably could have been an international Quidditch star if he'd just applied himself. I suppose that being independently wealthy did have it's advantages; unfortunately, it was a source of discord for us. I had never admitted it to him, but if I was going to be denied motherhood and raising a child or children of my own, I would need a profession to help me feel as if I hadn't wasted my life. I hated that I might one day have to choose between the man that I felt certain I was destined to be with; and my deep desire to have a family of my own._

Hot tears were falling down my face and the tension that had held me together for the last few days seemed to shatter apart. I just sat there, my body shaking. I cast a Silencing Charm around me, and wept. There wasn't anyone who could comfort me. _Even my lover isn't strong enough to take care of me._ When I finally had cried myself out, I removed the charm, and I sat there in the dark, unwilling to let the exhaustion take me. There were things that I needed to say, to get out of me, before I would succumb to the bliss of sleep tonight.

Sirius finally began to stir. He turned his head toward me, but I knew that in the dark he would only make out my silhouette.

"Why the hell did you stun me?" he grumbled.

"I didn't. James did, and from what I understand, you had it coming to you," I said back.

"Anwen. Oh Merlin, I was so worried," he had started to get himself up and out of the bed.

"Don't. You really don't want to get near me right now, because if I were to hex you, you would be in a whole hell of a lot more pain," I said, my voice even and hard.

"What? Anwen, I was sick with worry. Please, I need you."

"I know," I said calmly. "I was looking forward to spending tonight in your arms as well; but you didn't trust or believe in me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Sirius, I told you I would be back. I promised that I would never leave you alone. I have never broken that promise...and you couldn't trust me to keep it. You fell apart the minute that you didn't get word from me," the tears had started again, but I kept my voice calm.

"I did. I do. It's just, there was no word."

"I know. I couldn't get a message off, Sirius, I couldn't use my Patronus in front of someone who didn't belong to the Order, and I couldn't leave him alone either. We were being followed night and day, and Ewan can't fight for anything," I needed to take a steadying breath. "You didn't have enough faith that I would come back. You didn't trust in my skill or my ability to get help if I needed it. Moreover, what were you thinking, drinking for days, picking a fight with Dumbledore?" I couldn't talk any more, I was so angry.

"Anwen, it was so hard. I hate what I have to do for the Order. I feel so bad while I am doing it, and I feel like all the things of my past and of my family and everything that I have tried so hard to not be like, I'm now being rewarded for doing and for what I'm becoming," his voice got quiet, and he sat there, his head in his hands. "All I can think about is you, and it's the only way that I can get through it. You weren't here, and I got so scared. Please, you can't be upset at me," for the first time, Sirius sounded small and broken. The swagger and bravado were gone from his voice. I couldn't bear it.

"I am here, I was always here," I crawled off the chaise and onto the bed. I put my hand on his chest, over his heart. "I am right here. I've been here since I was eleven. Why can't you trust that?"

"I want to, it's just ..."

"What?"

He drew a deep breath, and put his hand over mine. "It's nothing." He reached his other hand up to my neck and went to pull me towards him. I was again seething. I pushed his arms away from me and got up off the bed.

"You know, this is a partnership, but if you are not going to let me in, then why the hell am I here. Sirius, you can't even imagine...do you know what...all that I won't...because of you, because of us? There has to be more than **that** to our relationship. You don't even talk to me anymore. Go back to sleep, maybe in the morning you will feel like talking with me," I turned and left the room. Once outside, I magically locked the door, and then built a brick wall up in front of it in my mind, effectively sealing the room. _I don't want him following me._

I silently crept down the hall to Harry's room. He was sleeping soundly, so I sat down in the rocker in his room, and pulled the afghan off the back and wrapped it around me. I leaned my head back, and closed my eyes. I think that I had dozed off, when I heard Harry stir. I lifted him from his crib and held him close. I knew from the clock that he was probably ready for a bottle. I carried him downstairs to get one from the fridge. As I entered the kitchen, I was surprised to find someone already there.

"Oh, I didn't think that anyone else was awake," I said.

"Sorry, I hope that I didn't scare you. I couldn't sleep. Too much has happened in the last few days," Ewan said. "Is that your baby?"

"Oh, no. This is Lily and James son, Harry. I was sleeping in his room when he woke up, and I decided to let his parents sleep. He's my little man anyway, and I missed him a lot while I was away," I cooed at Harry, getting the bottle from the fridge and putting a warming charm on it, and then settling down at the kitchen table, across from Ewan. "Here you go love, drink up and then Auntie Winnie will sing you back to sleep," Harry took the bottle greedily.

"So, that's what you really look like. The disguise was great, even the voice. Are you a metamorph?"

"No, just really good at Transfigurations. The voice is a Muggle skill," he looked at me not understanding. "I was an actress for a while. Anyway, Potions isn't my strongest suit, but you're impressive at it. It was the one thing I was afraid would keep me out of Auror training," I said, shifting Harry slightly in my arms.

"You're an Auror? You are so young! You're like what, nineteen?"

"Um, seventeen actually. I just finished my training. I graduated from Hogwarts a year early, and then I did a rapid course of Auror training, and now, I'm out in the field. You're my first case. Glad that it worked out well," Ewan laughed at me.

"I'm shocked. Wow. So do you live here too?"

"Technically, no, but we have a bedroom here. Sirius and I spent several months here last year, and we keep enough stuff here for nights like this. We live in London."

"Sirius? I think I heard some talk about him earlier," he said skeptically. I sighed. _Great, I get to make excuses for him, again._

"Yes, that would be him. Whatever you heard, don't hold it against him," I said rolling my eyes. "He's my boyfriend, we've been together for over a year and half, but he was my best friend and like a big brother for a long time before that," Harry had downed half of his bottle by then, and I pulled it out of his mouth to burp him.

"Wow, you're so mature for someone so young."

"I grew up fast. It's a whole long story that I am sure would bore you to tears, so lets just leave it there."

"All right, but you are quite fascinating. I would love to hear your stories someday."

"Thanks, maybe someday," we were silent for a while. I got the burp out of Harry, and I let him go back to his feeding.

"You're really good with him. Do you want to have kids someday?" Ewan asked me.

"I should be, I am the oldest of five. My littlest sister isn't quite four yet. I've had much practice. I would love to have kids, but my boyfriend doesn't want them, so, I'm left with motherhood or him..." I couldn't complete the thought, so I sat there in silence for a moment, then I realized what I had just said. "That was rude of me, you don't even know us, and here I am pouring out my problems on you. Please forgive me, I think the lack of sleep is getting to me."

"Hey, it's not a problem with me. Anyway, after what we were just through together, I think you can confide in me. You were amazing out there, I was sure that we were going to get caught, and then you would get us out. It was almost like you knew what they were going to do before they did it," he was right, but I didn't intend to tell him that, so I kept quiet. After a moment, he got the hint. "Anyway, I can't believe that he would deny you anything, especially if he saw how natural you are with Harry. If you were with me, I would give you the world," I was startled by the comment. He looked at me with his light blue eyes, and I felt like I could see into his soul. It made me uncomfortable. _He is being honest here, why does that bother me? _Harry had drained the bottle dry, and I rose to put it in the sink.

"Well, I need to get him upstairs and put him back down. Do try to get some sleep tonight," I said, walking from the kitchen. I settled down in the chair in Harry's room again, and began to sing to him. He fell asleep in my arms, so I laid him back in his crib, and again snuggled in the chair, and finally let the warm darkness of sleep take me.

"Anwen. Anwen, honey, wake up." I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake. "Why don't you go and lie down?" It was James.

"No, um, I need to talk with you. I'm going to go to my parents for a few days. I wanted to wait to leave, until I had the chance to tell someone where I was going, and ask you to keep Sirius from following. I have some paperwork to fill out at the Ministry, and then I am going to Wales. There are some things that I need to figure out. Alone," he had lifted Harry from his crib and was hugging his little body to his own. I could see from the look in James eyes that he understood how conflicted I was feeling.

"Come downstairs with me, and we can talk," James beckoned and I followed down to the lounge, stopping to stare out the large picture window at the front of the house. Night was turning to day outside. The darkness had turned from pitch to grey and the first vestiges of pink were licking at the clouds that partially blocked out the last of the morning stars. We sat on the couch, with Harry lying on James outstretched legs. "Did you feed him last night?"

"I did. Sirius had woken up and we had a fight, and I just needed to clear my mind. I went to sit in Harry's room, and when we wanted his bottle, I decided to feed him, and let you and Lily sleep."

"What was the fight about? Or do I not need to ask?"

"You can probably guess most of it, but what bothers me the most is that it's like he didn't have enough faith to believe that I would come back. He didn't know in his heart that I was capable enough to do this. We used to talk about everything, now...it's just so..." I had started to cry again. "... I need to clear my head I guess. I'm not sure that this, thing with us is going to work. I'm afraid if I bend much more, I'll break. I just need to think, sort things out, away from him. I'll try to be back for the holiday, for Harry and Lily's sakes. But, before I go, I have to know, what does the Order have him doing? He seems so upset by it."

"Anwen, he's a pureblood from a really powerful and ruthless family. There are people who are scared of him just because of his last name," the words bit through me like a knife, it was almost as I could feel his pain. "There are other magical creatures, beings that are indebted to certain Wizarding families. Sirius is one from one of them, and as the only Black heir, he has some serious prestige behind him. Sirius looks, well, rather imposing as well. We're just trading on all of that," he told me getting quieter as he spoke. "The other side is doing it too..." he sounded as if he was trying to justify what was going on. I thought I might be sick.

"They've been sending him out to intimidate information out of people?" I could barely get the words out, the taste of bile was in mouth. I swallowed it down as my hand flew to my mouth. "Didn't anyone think about what it might do to him? He hates what he came from, his worst nightmare is to be like his father," I looked at James with distaste. "How could you let them do that to him? You're supposed to be his best friend!" James was looking at Harry, unable to meet my eyes. _No wonder he was falling apart. They turned him into a thug. Sirius may be many things, but this wasn't one of them. _My mind was racing, when I heard the front door open. It was Sirius. His clothes were rumpled, and he appeared slightly wet along the cuffs of his trousers. I looked again and realized that he wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Where did you come from?" I asked, taking in the surreal sight of him there.

"You put one hell of a spell on the door, I couldn't get out, so I jumped out of the window and came back in the front door," he said, walking across the room to sit in the chair across from the couch. "Can I talk with you?"

I nodded and indicated that we should leave the room. We walked across the entryway to the library and shut the door. I sealed it and put on a Silencing Charm. Walking across the room, we went to sit in the two wing back chairs that were in front of the bay window. Dawn was upon us, and it's first glistening fingers were dancing across the fresh snow, making it sparkle like a field of diamonds.

"I'm sorry, Anwen," he started but I wasn't looking at him. "My faith in you never faltered, it's just...I've had a hard time here. I'm so sorry you thought I doubted you."

"Thank you for apologizing."

We sat there in silence, and unlike most of our silences, this one was uncomfortable and echoing with things still unsaid. I was still torn inside, part of me wanting to run away and get my head on straight; the other part of me wanting to crawl into his lap and tell him everything would be all right. _The problems were still there, but with everything else he was going through, this might not be the time to bring it up. He had to let me in, he had to talk to me, or nothing was going to ever get better._ I turned to look at him. He looked so old, and his eyes had a hardness to them that scared me. He dropped his head back down. _I can't bear seeing him like this, no matter what else I might be feeling, I love him too much. _ I got up and walked over to his chair, and knelt before him, taking his hands in mine. They felt calloused and unyielding, I was fighting my tears again. "Look at me," I pleaded and he lifted his head. "Tell me, tell me everything. I love you," his face softened with the words.

"I'm so sorry Winnie. I just ... remember after Mr. Lupin's funeral, you told me that you had to push your emotions down to get through it?" I nodded at him, my skills at repression were something I was well aware of. "It's been like that, but it hasn't been sadness...it's anger. I hate that they have me using my name to get information. I hate that I'm scaring people to get what we need. I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror anymore," he dropped his eyes from me. "I can't even bear to have you look at me right now," the tears fell from my eyes and dropped onto his hands. As they ran down his fingers he looked up at me. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't. I couldn't. Sirius, I love you. I felt the same way after the attack last year. I was afraid that you would look at me the way I felt about myself. I felt dirty and worthless and completely unlovable; but what did you do, you told me I was beautiful; you loved me. There is so much goodness in you. Please try to look at yourself through my eyes. You are a fierce friend, you are loyal—sometimes to a fault, and you would protect the people you care about with your life," he tried to shake me off. "If someone came in the door right now, and told you that the war would be over in an instant, if you handed Harry over, what would you do?" his eyes widened.

"No way in hell! That little boy is the most precious person on the planet. He's sweet and he makes the best faces, and he loves when I turn into Padfoot and he cuddles up with me," I smiled at him.

"I know. See, you're not your Father. He would have given you away to make his life easier. He threw you away because he could see the good in you, and it disgusted him. You wouldn't let anyone harm a messy hair on that sweet boy's head; and, you'd do the same for Lily or James or Remus or Peter. Hell, you'd probably rip them limb from limb for even suggesting it," I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around him. "If it was me?" His arms circled my waist.

"I would stand in front of you, and take whatever they sent at you, in your place," I stroked his face.

"I believe you, but this, us, won't work if you are always trying to protect me. We have to be equals. I'm not a little girl anymore Sirius. We keep coming back here, and we keep having this argument. You have to trust that I can take care of myself. So, instead of taking it for me, how about if you stand beside me and fight with me?" I pleaded with him. His eyes bore into mine, but I knew not to break his gaze.

"It's so hard. I still see you that first night, sitting in the common room, balled up and crying."

"I know, because sometimes I still see that tousled boy who put his arm around me to make me stop crying. We aren't them anymore, we're grown up, Sirius. We've gone through too much to stay where we were. Plus, if we can't let go of the past, we can't ever make it to the future," I said, as I laid my head on his chest.

"Yeah, and what does the future look like?" he asked, stroking my head, his lips on my temple.

"Do you really want to know? I'm afraid it won't make you happy."

"Anwen, are we together there?"

"Yes."

"Then it will make me happy. Do you want to know what I see?" I nodded against him. I didn't want to look at him, in case he said what I was afraid he would say.

"I see you in a beautiful house, with lots of gardens, happily working in a kitchen, singing away. I see us surrounded by family and friends. I see us touring the world, seeing all of those places you've only ever read about," _it sounds beautiful, but there is one thing missing still. The one thing I wasn't sure that I could give up._ "And Anwen, I see beautiful children sitting on your lap. Children with dark hair and green eyes, our children," I gasped and the tears began again, but they were happy tears. I looked up at him.

"Come on, I would have to be blind not to see how you are with Harry, how happy being with him and taking care of him makes you. I'm not saying right now, but someday, when the war is over, I want to marry you and make little Marauder's with you," he said with a wag of his eyebrows and wickedly curled lip. I couldn't help but smile at him. "But to get there, we have to get through this war. If I am going to have to keep doing this, keep using my name, keep on ... I am going to need you there. You have to stay with me," he was sounding desperate now. "The darkness is gone when you are there, you are so full of light, sometimes it hurts just to look at you," he took my face in his hands, and his eyes bore into my. My breath caught at the sheer power of his gaze. "Save me, please."

"Always," it was all that I could get out. I was reeling from everything that had been said. His lips crashed into mine and I thought I could fly from how he made me feel. When he broke away from me, he lifted me so that we were standing, and he grabbed my hand.

"Come on," he was pulling me toward the door, smiling wildly, with a new spring in his step. He seemed years younger than just a few minutes ago.

"Where are we going?" I said half laughing.

"We need to go shopping?"

"What? Why are we going shopping?" We were in the entry way, headed toward the door. "Sirius, you don't have any shoes on and you smell awful, and I'm in my pajamas," I was laughing at him.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I do. Shoes, shoes are good in the snow huh? You are far too cute in those polka dot pajamas to be seen in public," he said laughing as he kissed me again.

"Okay, but where did you want to take me shopping?"

"You need a ring, an engagement ring. I'm going to marry you one day," he said lifting me up, giggling. _Sirius is giggling? Perhaps he's still drunk?_

"Engagement ring...marriage..." I stammered. "...um, you haven't exactly asked me to marry you. Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" I said giggling back.

"Yes, I am...you're correct," and with that, he dropped down on his knee in front of me. "Anwen Llyn, you are the light of my life, and the other half of my soul, you bring joy to me, and remind me of the kind of person I want to be. When I am with you, you make me smile and laugh and you fill the world with love. I want to know that you are always next to me, to stand NEXT to me and to hold me. I want to fill our home with your light and laughter and our children. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?" _I have never heard anything more beautiful in my life. He looks so handsome, scruffy face, messy hair, wrinkled clothes and all, he reminded me of the knight who came and rescued the princess so that he could marry her. It's like my own storybook._ I was just looking at him, smiling and crying. After a moment his face fell. "Uh, are you going to answer me?"

"Oh," I hadn't realized that I was lost in my own thoughts. My hand flew up to cover my mouth. I started nodding wildly. "Yes, of course yes. I love you Sirius Black. I would be honored to marry you," Sirius stood up, and put his arms around my waist. I reached up and held onto his shoulders and he kissed me, sweetly and passionately. I didn't even know that there were others in the room until I heard their clapping. We broke apart.

"I think we have an audience," I said quietly.

"Let them watch. I don't care," he beamed back at me, and his lips met mine again. Tears were falling as we kissed. Everyone was gathered in the entryway now. Lily was crying and James was holding Harry, shaking his head in disbelief. Remus came down the stairs and hugged me when Sirius finally let me go. Even Ewan congratulated us, although he seemed a little reserved at greeting Sirius. We went upstairs, and when we were in our room, Sirius pulling me into a searing kiss, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth, while his hands were making quick work of removing my pajamas. _Note to self, buy more alluring sleep wear. These might me comfortable, but, they are not sexy. _I barely had time to get the charms on the door before he was upon me. It didn't take us long to finish, we were both already quite worked up from the emotions of our engagement.

"You're an even better shag as my fiancée," Sirius told me, and I was sure that he was trying to be romantic, but it really didn't come out that way.

"Darling, that may be the least seductive thing that you have ever said to me," I teased him back, before reaching up to grab his head and pull his lips back to mine. "However, fiancée is one of the most beautiful words on the face of the earth," I told him dreamily. He wrapped both arms tightly around me, his hands coming up to grasp my shoulders from behind.

"You really said yes?" he questioned me, his face suddenly worried. "You would really marry me?" I put my hands on his face, stroking his cheeks with my hands.

"Do you doubt my answer, love? There has never been another in my heart, and there never will be. I don't have words to convey just how much I love you, how desperately I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you, share your name and your bed for the rest of my life."

He kissed me again, slowly and languidly, and while I would have been more than willing to spend the entire day in bed with him; I knew that there would be hell to pay if I didn't get into the Ministry, file my reports. I looked over at the clock, and groaned at the time.

"I need to get cleaned up and into the office, love. They'll be expecting me."

"Fine, but you're going to be cleaned properly before you go," he said with a twinkle in his eye and an upturning of his lip.

"Really, and what exactly does that mean?" I asked as he slid off of me, and then picked me up and carried me to the en-suite loo. I finally was ready to leave for work, quite late. Turns out that being properly cleaned meant that Sirius found a whole new use for the detachable shower head, and a rather mind blowing encounter with me pressed up against the tiles of the bathroom.

I floated through my paperwork and meetings, not sure what people were saying to me what it was that I was doing. At the end of the day, Sirius greeted me in the lobby of the Ministry and took me into Hogsmeade. We walked down High Street, and turned the corner to the second hand store that I had bought his seventeenth birthday gift at. I looked at him questioningly.

"James told me about the day that you bought my watch, and what the old woman said. Turns out that she was right. She knew years before we did," I smiled at him, crying again. "What's with the damn waterworks woman? You cry so much, I'm surprised that you have any tears left," he teased me.

"They're happy tears Sirius, very happy tears. I love you."

"I love you too, so very much," he said, his thumbs wiping my tears away.

We went in the store, where the perfect ring was waiting. I moved the ring from last Christmas over to my other hand, next to the Portkey ring to the house in Greece that I wear on my pinkie. When I put the diamond and emerald ring on, my breath caught, and I felt somehow warm, right in the core of my being.

"You feel it too?" Sirius asked me. I nodded at him, wide eyed. "The watch warmed too. You must be very much in love right now." I nodded again.

"Do you know anything about the ring?" I asked the shopkeeper, and she nodded her head and smiled at me.

"My husband purchased them years ago, from an estate near Neston, in the West Country. There was a pocket watch that was part of the estate as well," she told us, and I looked at Sirius. _They had to have been together, after what we just felt._ I watched as he pulled it from his pocket and undid the chain.

"Would this have been the watch?" he asked her, and the old woman's eyes lit up.

"Why yes, yes it is. I remember when I sold this to you child, I've been waiting for years to see who would feel it's enchantment. It would appear that they belong together," she told us, handing the watch back to Sirius. "Apparently, so do the two of you."

"I certainly think so," Sirius said as he picked up my hand and kissed the engagement ring.

He paid for the ring, and we left the shop. I wasn't sure if my feet were touching the ground or not. I reached up and grabbed hold of his shoulders and pulled myself tightly to him. I just wanted to feel the strength of his arms around me.

"Are you ready to go home?" Sirius whispered at me.

"Not yet. We need to do something else," I said as I pulled him toward the castle at the far end of the road. We walked up the path, and in through the castle doors. Dinner was over, and the Great Hall was empty. I hoped that he was in his office. We climbed the stairs, and I sent my Patronus through the entrance way. A moment later, the statue turned aside and the stairs rose from nowhere, granting us access to the Headmaster. We climbed the stairs and I knocked gently on the heavy wood door.

"Please come in," he beckoned from inside. We opened the door and walked in, Dumbledore was seated behind his desk. "To what do I owe this unexpected but welcomed visit Anwen?" his tone changed. "Sirius, I hope that you are feeling better than last night?" he cocked his eyebrow.

"I am sir, and I apologize for that, sir. I don't know what came over me, but I am sure that the Firewhiskey had something to do with it."

"No doubt that it did. Apology accepted Sirius," Dumbledore nodded at Sirius.

"Thank you, but honestly, I'm not sure why we are here? Anwen?" I nodded at Sirius, and squeezed his hand. The engagement ring was hidden from the headmaster's view by the way my hand was turned.

"Professor, I know what you have been having Sirius do, and I have to say, I don't approve. It was unfair of you to ask him to do this, you know better than anyone how he has tried to distance himself from his family. To ask him to act like them, to play upon his name, it was cruel; especially to make him do it alone. I cannot allow it to happen any longer, it's ripping him apart inside. If you insist on having him continue, know that I will be there, at his side. It's where I belong."

Dumbledore sat there looking at the two of us for a while. This may have been the first time that I had ever spoken up to him, in my entire life. I wasn't sure if there were many people who did that. It was almost as if he was taking all of us in, as if we had words printed on us, and he was reading the back story that we were not providing. I kept my eyes from Sirius'. I wasn't sure how he was going to take my protecting him, but I needed him to know that this was a two way street, and that I was capable of shielding him as well.

"I can see that I may have misjudged the situation. Miss Hodgson, Mr. Black, I will consider you a team for the remainder of this assignment. I also see that I need to extend my congratulations. I do need to tell you, I believed that this was inevitable from that first time I caught the two of you sneaking back into the castle. Your love radiated off of the two of you powerfully. May you have a long and happy marriage," I smiled at him. _How did he know?_

"Why in the bloody hell did everyone think that we were in love back then. We weren't, we were just friends," Sirius half yelled, half laughed.

"Don't ask me, the idea of kissing you then disgusted me to no end," I made my yucky face, and the headmaster laughed. "But, it doesn't anymore," I confided, and my fiancée leaned down to offer me a sweet kiss. _Fiancée_._ I don't think that there is a better word in the whole world._

"Perhaps it was something that just needed to be revealed in it's own time. Again, congratulations. I'm not sure which one of you is in store for a bigger challenge," he postulated, and we both cracked a smile at his statement. "I know that Minerva would be quite put out if she knew you were here, and you did not go and share the news with her. She has become quite attached to you Anwen."

"The feeling is mutual. Thank you," we turned and left, intending to head to the Deputy Headmistress's rooms, when we ran into Katie and Corinne in the hall. They screamed and jumped up and down and stunned Sirius with their screeching. Professor McGonagall was thrilled and hugged us both, probably a first for Sirius. We went back to the Manor and celebrated there, before seeking out the privacy of our house in London. Our lovemaking that night was slow and passionate, and we both found ourselves gazing at the ring on my hand, and what it symbolized.

Christmas Eve was the next day, and we celebrated on Christmas morning with Harry before apparating to Wales to surprise my family. It was wonderful, and my mother couldn't believe she was going to get to help plan a wedding. She went into full Ma mode, wanting to know what details we had hashed out, and seemed disappointed that we had absolutely none. She didn't understand the war that was going on, and I didn't feel the need to clue her in, especially given how very involved both Sirius and I were. As we got ready to leave the day after Christmas, I promised her that when we had plans, she would be the first that I would share them with.

Less than a week later, we celebrated New Year's Eve. My wish was that it would be a better, brighter year for us all. I kissed my fiancée at the stoke of midnight, with a smile on my lips and twinkle in my eye. At the same time, an explosion rocked a Muggle village on the other side of England, with no apparent source. Magical explosions don't need one. There were fifty-two innocent people left dead. What we didn't know at the time, something that we would learn later that day, is that Dr. and Mrs. Evans were in the building that was bombed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23:**

**Coordinated Attacks**

**Anwen POV:**

"I still can't believe that you like punk music!" He said, holding my hand, walking out of the club. Again, I was with him, while he was getting information. No one questioned that I would be in the room, although not necessarily next to him. I didn't need to be by his side to be there with him. I could sit somewhere else, and throw a shield charm over him, but I was there, and it made all the difference. I had learned to send him little spells through it, to help settle or bolster him through the shield. I could only do it with Sirius, and I was sure that the ring and pocket watch had something to do with it, but he would always know that I was with him this way. I liked that I was able to protect him.

"Why? I think that I have proven I have rather diverse musical tastes. Anyway, I like it because I know I could play all of that music, probably better than they can. Hell, you can play it better," I said smirking. Sirius had taken to his guitar with gusto, even if he was without great skill. "Besides, it's passionate and angsty and I believe that I have proven myself to be both passionate and somewhat angst ridden," I teased him. He turned his head and gave me the crooked smile that I loved and I swear that I melted inside...he knew it too.

"Well, I like the passion much better than the angst. Up for some passion tonight?" He asked me with a low huskiness to his voice that drove me wild as well. Going out like this always made us both more, _what's the word_, enthusiastic when we got home. I personally thought it was the magical connection, Sirius was convinced that it was the dancing. _Dancing, fully dressed foreplay. I loved the way it felt to be pressed up against him, moving with him._ Whatever it was, it was most definitely enjoyable.

"I don't know?" I said with fake boredom. "But if I'm not up for it, that rather tall blond that was throwing herself at you should be more than willing," I added, full of sarcasm. It was hard to watch, but it always happened when we went out on nights like this, while he was working. Nothing ever happened, but he was always attracting the girls, just like when we were at school. It stirred up in me my old insecurities about not being pretty enough, or curvy enough or enough at all for Sirius. Tonight's twit bothered me more than usual, something was off about her.

"Winnie, you can't possibly jealous?" he said smiling. I know that it satisfied him to know that I got jealous. "You're the only one for me," he promised, as he released my hand ran it over my back, before he grabbed mine again. "Anyway, she stopped after a while, a little abruptly."

"Yeah, I know," I responded in a singsong voice.

"What did you do?" He asked, his eyebrow arched.

"Nothing, really. I just didn't like the way she was touching you, she had her hands on your bum, and I'm the only one allowed to play back there," I said, releasing his hand and coming to stand in front of him, wrapping my arms around and sliding my hands into the back pockets of his jeans. He leaned his head down and kissed me deeply, as his arms wound up my back. "Besides, I happen to know what you wear underneath this particular pair of jeans."

"Winnie, I don't wear anything under these jeans," he said, pulling me behind a rather large tree in the park that we were walking through. He pushed my back up against the tree and lifted me up so that my face was even with his. I wrapped my legs around him as he kissed behind my ear and down my neck. _Like I said, enthusiastic. _"I know," I moaned back.

"Really. So what exactly did you do?" he asked between kisses. His tongue traced down my neck to my collar bone, and one of his hands was easing it's way under the very tight tee shirt I was wearing tonight.

"Let's just say that she got a rather uncomfortable prickle whenever she would brush up against the shield that I was casting over you," I told him, smiling mischievously. Sirius looked at me, his eyes dark with desire, and groaned. I could feel through his pants just how much what I was telling his was affecting him, and he pressed himself fully against me, creating a friction so strong that I caught my breath and felt my insides immediately burn with desire. _I know what he's thinking. He's trying to figure out a way to use a disillusionment charm on us, to have his way with me right here. _ I smiled wickedly at the thought.

"Anwen, you don't have to do that. It's not like I would have done anything with her," he teased me, immediately killing the mood.

"I know. It's not you, this is about me," I said, releasing my hold from him, putting my feet back toward ground, and he lowered me down. I tried to squirm away from him, but I couldn't.

"You want to tell me what this is about?" he asked, clearly sensing that the randy mood of a few minutes ago had been destroyed. I shook my head at him, but he lifted my chin with his hands and brushed my hair from my face. I couldn't stand it when he did that, I was utter putty in his hands.

"It's just... I know what people think when they see us together. You are gorgeous and well built and tall and with your tattoos and the long hair, you look a little dangerous. And you're with me. I'm short, plain, average...you may not think about it, but I know that you could be with someone so much better looking than I," he picked my up again, bringing me to his eye level. Even with my recent growth spurt, I still only stood about five foot three, there was nearly a foot difference in our heights.

"Anwen, you are lovely. I can't believe that this is still an issue with you, after all of this time," he said, sounding disgusted. I didn't want to talk with him about this. _I know that he's tired of hearing me, but he doesn't realize that he thought isn't ever far from my mind. Sometimes I feel just like I'm at school again, the little wallflower surrounded by long stem roses. How is he so dense that he can't see what this does to me? _ I felt myself getting angry, and I didn't want him pressing this.

"Fine, forget that I said anything," I said, as I pushed away from him, dropping to the ground and taking off down the sidewalk again. I took about five steps before he started moving. Of course, with his long legs, he immediately caught up with me.

"You want to tell me what this is really about?"

"Nothing. Come on, lets get home. I need to check on Remus, he had a bad night last night, and you need to get that information to Dumbledore," I took his hand and started pulling him along.

"It's not nothing. Anwen stop," he stopped walking, but he held onto my hand tightly, so that I lost my balance when I kept trying to move and he didn't. He scooped me up into his arms to help balance me. "Tell me, love. Come on, we promised that there would be no more secrets."

He'd done so well in the last four months, telling me everything that was going on in his head, finding ways to work out his anger and irritation at what he was doing. We had found that a Muggle punching bag in the basement was a wonderful thing. Whenever his emotions got to be too much, Sirius could go down and beat the crap out of the thing. More than once I was sure that he had Charmed the thing to look like Dumbledore. If he was trying so hard, I need to be honest with him about this, even though I was feeling like an idiot for having this discussion in a park in London.

"Sirius...I just keep waiting for you to wake up and realize that we're not in the same league," I didn't want to look at him, and I took a deep breath, waiting for him to tell me that I was just being silly and brushing off my deepest fear; like he always did. Then there was an explosion over our heads.

Sirius and I both looked up, just before a tree branch was about to fall on us. Sirius drew his wand. Mine was in my boot, and with my new found skills, I didn't need it to be any closer. I threw shields up over both of us, and the branch just slid off of the charm. Then I raised my head to look for the telltale auras of magic in the area. I found three, and I didn't like any of them. One was blood red, another was so dark blue that it was nearly black, and the final was a very dark brown. _I know that red one, and the brown seems somehow familiar._ The red belonged to Sirius cousin Bellatrix, we'd had this dance before. Every few weeks I would tangle with Bellatrix Lestrange. I had begun to think that it was simply a way for her to gauge my skill level and report back to Voldemort.

I couldn't see who the brown belonged to, the person was obscured behind a tree. A man emerged holding Bellatrix around the waist, he was older, and by the way he was stroking her, I assumed it was her husband. _If he's married to her, he must be nuts too._ I saw a blue white streak leave Sirius wand, and I knew that he was alerting the rest of the Order. Several curses came at us, but I watched them shatter as they hit the shield. Sirius was standing next to me, firing off curses as well. I was trying to see around them, who the third magical signature belonged to, but I couldn't. I pictured a strong rope, and threw it over them. For a moment I had them bound, but then the man was able to break free.

"That's one powerful witch you have there Sirius. It will be so much fun to break her," he cackled back. I looked at him, and recognized the scar on his forehead. I gasped and froze. _He was there, the day that I was attacked. Deep breath Anwen, Sirius won't let them get anywhere near you._

"You won't get near her Lestrange," Sirius sneered back, firing off a curse, but it went wide. I needed to alert the department; there was an outstanding warrant on both of the Lestranges. I let my Patronus fly away, hoping to alert whoever was on duty so that they could come and send these two to prison.

"I only have to get near enough to her, to bring her to the Dark Lord. He's quite interested in her. Quite powerful that one, Animagus and wandless magic. What fun we'd have with her. You could come too. I'm sure once we are all done with her, he'd let you have her back, enjoy your sloppy seconds. You would, of course, have to take your brother's place at his side," I stood there listening, but I couldn't move. _At least he doesn't seem to know about the visualization skills. Breathe Anwen, you're going to be fine._

"Let's see, he murdered my brother, so don't think that would work so well for me," Sirius snapped back, firing at the ground in front of them, creating a cavernous hole. They wouldn't be able to get any closer. _Thank you love. They're scaring me._

"You know, you're taste is just so odd dear cousin. There was a time that leggy and blond would have been much more your ticket. We can get her back here, she's a pureblood, much more acceptable anyway," Bellatrix mewed at us. _ I knew that there was something about her that rubbed me the wrong way._

"Bella, you wouldn't know real love if it bit you. Anwen is so much more than you can understand. But hell, soon she'll be heir to the Black family fortune, and as my wife, it goes to her before it would ever go to you," he smirked at her. Her face broke into a rage.

"You are adding that to the family tree? Your mother will never stand for it."

"My mother doesn't really have a say in it now does she. The rules governing inheritances are very clear. As my wife, all that I have will be hers," _What? What does he mean? Inheritance laws?_ I was still frozen in my spot, my heart racing and my feet stuck to the ground.

"I wish I could understand what it is about pure bloods wanting to be with such trash? You're obsessed with her, Severus keeps talking about that Lily Potter and Dark Lord wants James son," _What? Why did he want Harry? _I snapped out of my stupor and realized that I needed to check on Lily and Harry.

"I'm going to look for Harry. You need to get us out of here soon," I whispered to Sirius, he nodded in agreement.

"You're safe love, they won't get you. I promise," he whispered back, taking my hand in his. I pulled myself behind him partially, and closed my eyes. I knew what their magic looked like, and I had been working on being able to find it from a distance. Everyone had planned on going out tonight. It had been a pleasant spring day, and we were all suffering from cabin fever. Lily hadn't left the house in months, not since the death of her parents. She was only just beginning to venture out again. _This won't help her at all. _ Only Remus would be at the manor tonight, guarding Ewan. My mind soared through the countryside, until I came to the town closest to the Potter family home; Portree, Scotland. It wasn't large, finding them wasn't much of a challenge. They were outside of a cafe, James standing in front of Lily, she cradling Harry in her arms. Someone was dueling with James, but not very effectively. I threw a long distance shield over them. It was draining to hold both in place.

"I found them, but they are up against something there too. You have to get me there, I don't know how long I can hold it from this far away," I whispered.

"I need a distraction. There are two against just me here. You have to drop the shield to apparate, and that could leave us vulnerable."

"Actually, it's three. There's one lurking behind the trees over there. I don't know why they don't show themselves?" We were talking between curses and counter curses being thrown. Our shield was still holding strong, it was the one that I was projecting over long distances that had me worried. I looked around hoping to find something that I could use as a distraction. Finally, I saw it, halfway across the park, there was an old bench. I figured that I could summon it, and then propel it at them. It should give us enough time to apparate out.

"Get ready. I've got your distraction. You'll need to Disapparate us both. I can't do it and hold the other shield up."

"I'm ready," he replied. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and summoned the bench, it was flying towards us, I dropped our shield, and I freed my hand from Sirius so that I could direct it toward the others. They had to duck to keep from being hit, and as it slammed into the tree behind them, I felt Sirius grab my waist and felt us flying through nothing. We landed in the lawn of the manor.

"Hold on, I'm going to take us to them now," I screamed at him. I dropped the distance shield, and again, we were sailing through the darkness. We landed in the street behind the Death Eaters. I didn't recognize either of them. I reestablished the shield around the Potter's and I made eye contact with Lily. She nodded, understanding that I was protecting them now. She whispered something to James. Sirius fired off a shot from behind, and James got one off from in front. The two pronged attack seemed to confuse the Death Eaters and they were instantly gone.

"Home," James yelled, and they were gone. Before I could do anything, Sirius was again holding me and we were soon back on the lawn of the manor. Harry was crying, and Lily was trying to soothe him. Remus was opening the door as we were all rushing forward into it.

"How did you know where we were?"

"I went searching for your magic. It was Harry's magic. It's really strong, and it's colored differently than anything else; it makes it easy to find. I was casting a shield from London," I said, suddenly feeling weak, my knees buckled and I began to fall. Sirius lifted me up and carried me into the lounge and laid me down on the couch.

"Winnie, Winnie are you hurt?" Sirius was yelling at me. My head was spinning and the room was getting dark.

"No. I think that all the magic just wiped me out," I said, trying to sit up, but I couldn't. When I made it half way up, my head was swimming so badly, I needed to lie back down. Remus and Ewan were in the room as well. We heard another clamoring at the door, it was Frank, Alice and little Neville. I tried to raise my head to say hello, but everything went black.

**Sirius POV:**

"Moony, I think she passed out," I yelled, and he came over and laid a compress on her head, waving a wand over her as he did.

"Ewan, she drained her magic projecting a shield from London. Get some of the Strengthening Solution and the Invigoration Potion, we may need her to get it back quickly. Bloody hell, she knows that projecting depletes her quickly," Remus said. Ewan nodded and headed off toward the room off the kitchen that had been turned into a potions lab for him. I could hear James talking with Frank about what had happened to them. The door flew open and Mad Eye came in.

"How many bloody attacks were there tonight. There was one in Hogsmeade as well. Dumbledore has the school on lock down. He'll be here soon, there was something else that he said he needed to attend to," Mad Eye yelled. _That was four attacks, apparently carried out simultaneously._ I turned my eyes back to Anwen, her eye lids were flickering open.

"Sirius?"

"Shh, I'm here. Lie still, they are making you a potion to help you get your strength back. You drained your magic, my little bad ass witch," I stroked her face and kissed her lightly. She gave me a half of a smile.

"Is everyone okay?" she whispered.

"I think so. We're waiting for a few more people, including Dumbledore," she nodded and closed her eyes again. I lifted her head, and sat down on the couch, putting her head back in my lap. She curled herself into my arms with her head on my thigh. I watched as the rest of the Order slowly filed in. Ewan returned with a potion for Anwen to drink a while later.

"Anwen, here drink this, it will help you recover faster," Ewan said, handing her the cup with the potion in it. "I tried to make it taste better by adding some vanilla. Let me know if it worked," he said smiling at her. She nodded and drank it down, making a face.

"Maybe peppermint would be better. It tasted like vanilla flavored gym socks. Sorry," she said back, trying to smile. Ewan left with the cup.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked her, as she pulled herself into a more upright position. She shook her head as she climbed into my lap and laid her head on my chest. She was still shaking. I sat there holding her trembling body and listening to what was going on in the room. Lily and Alice had taken the boys upstairs to lie them down in the nursery. A moment later the fireplace erupted in green flames and Dumbledore then quickly McGonagall entered the room. Everyone started shouting questions and things at them as they entered. Dumbledore lifted his hands to silence the room.

"Everyone, please sit down, there is a great deal that needs to be discussed and much that will then need to be done. The best that we can tell, there were six attacks tonight, all set off at roughly the same time. Now, one by one, I need to hear about all the attacks that have taken place, tell me what happened, where you were and who was involved," we all nodded; James started off.

"Lily and I had taken Harry into town for a late dinner. We had been working with Ewan most of the day on the potion, and we needed some time away from it all, Remus was here at home with him. We had finished eating, and we were going to take a short walk before bringing Harry home for bed. There were two of them in the street when we walked out. They were asking us about Ewan, but of course, we told them nothing. The tall one, it could have been Rookwood, but it was too dark to tell for sure, also said something about Voldemort needing Harry, which scared Lily and I. I was holding my own, but I wasn't sure how we were going to get out of there, and then Sirius and Anwen showed up. Lily whispered that they were behind the Death Eaters, and than Winnie had shielded us. I saw Sirius cast a disarming spell, and I did the same. They both missed, but it was enough to spook the Death Eaters and they apparated away. We came straight home. Winnie, thank you."

"It was nothing James," she said weakly; he smiled at her modesty.

"All right, Sirius and Anwen, tell us about your encounter?"

"We were on our way out of the club, where we had gotten what you needed," I reached into my pocket and withdrew the small stack of papers that I had folded and put in for safe keeping. Dumbledore stood and got them from me, tipping his head in thanks. I finished telling our story, and he continued to nod.

"Do you have any idea who the third person was?" he asked Anwen, she lifted her head and looked at him.

"No sir, the magical imprint looked somehow familiar, but I couldn't say how I knew it. I'm sorry."

"It's all right my dear. You did remarkably well, finding Harry from all that distance and then shielding them that far; very impressive. We'll work on that some more when you're feeling better. Frank, please tell me what happened to your family."

"We had headed out to the store to buy a few things for Neville, he's growing so fast," he said, stroking the head of his wife. "As we were headed home, Lucius Malfoy showed up again, this time with McNair. He offered us safety if joined the Death Eaters, saying that it would make Neville safer. Things were furious there for a moment, and then, they were gone. We apparated straight here when we realized it was over."

Alastor went on to talk about the attack in Hogsmeade. It wasn't much of an attack, a whole lot of smoke and noise, but little else. There were only a few bumps and bruises, nothing more serious. With each story, Dumbledore was looking increasingly concerned. There was silence when Alastor finished, as we were waiting for Dumbledore to say something. Finally, James spoke up.

"Sir, there were other attacks, weren't there?"

"Yes, there was. One in Bristol and...there was an attack at a Dairy Farm outside of Cardiff, Wales," Anwen's head sprang up, staring at our former headmaster. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as her shaking had returned.

"No, please no," she whispered. Dumbledore stood up and walked over to us, sitting down on the couch across from Anwen. Lily had come to stand behind her, pulling her arms around us both. I could feel the tears falling from her eyes, and she was shaking her head violently.

"Anwen, the townspeople believe that the farm and everyone that lived there were destroyed. The reality is that we were able to extract them before any harm came to them," he said calmly.

"Then I can see them? I want to go to them now," she said, trying to get up. He put his hand on her arm, gently pushing her down.

"I'm sorry, but you can't. I just came from the Ministry. We believe that the best way to keep them safe, is to put them into hiding. They are already on their way to a new home. We are wiping their memories clean, and starting over. Your parents and your four younger siblings will have a fine life; another team is already working on the townspeople." _Memory charms? They're going to wipe their memories clean and then start over? What? Why would they do that?_

"They won't know that I exist will they?" she whispered. I knew the answer, and I was sure that she did as well. I laid my chin on her shoulder, holding her tight, trying to steady her against what was about to be said.

"We think it will be safer if they don't remember you. Anyone who goes looking for Anwen Hodgson outside of the Magical world, will find nothing. All of your personal files from the music school have already been purged and Meriwether has taken care of the theater. I know this is a great personal sacrifice to make," it sounded sincere, but I really wasn't sure if it was.

"Do I get to say goodbye?"

"They've left the country already."

Anwen broke down weeping. The shaking from before had returned and there was nothing else that I could do. I just held her. "They wouldn't have remembered saying goodbye anyway," Dumbledore said to me quietly.

"No, they wouldn't have, but she would have. It could have at least given her some closure," I snapped at him. She was making the most pitiful sounds now, and I knew that she wouldn't want to fall apart this way in front of everyone. I lifted her and carried her upstairs, to our room. I closed the door, and silenced it, and laid her on the bed, holding her while she wept. She tried to talk, but all I ever understood was a word here, or there. Things like "grandma" or "holiday" were uttered, along with more random words like "picture" or "recipe". Finally, after an hour, she started to calm down and she looked at me with the most terrified look on her face. "Who's going to give me away?" and the sobbing started all over. I knew that all I could do was hold her, but it was breaking my heart.

Then she was quiet; she wasn't asleep, her eyes were open, but she was silent, staring off into the distance. The waiting had now begun. Anwen was going to process everything, and she would be silent while it happened.

She finally fell into an exhausted sleep just after dawn. I unsealed the door, and heard Lily knocking. I told her to come in.

"How is she?" Lily asked, coming over and lying down on the other side of her, wrapping her arm around Anwen's little frame.

"She finally fell asleep. Lily, I don't know what this is going to do to her?"

"I know, she's had enough heart ache for one lifetime. Do you realize that we all are alone now. James, Remus, Anwen, you and I, none of us have any family."

"No, that's not quite true, my mother is alive, but she hates me," I said coldly, I would gladly go back and endure my mother if I could give Anwen five minutes with hers again. "As Anwen likes to remind us, we have each other. The thing that she was most scared of, made her cry the hardest; she didn't know who would give her away at the wedding. We haven't even set a date," I said.

"Why not?"

"She doesn't want to get married until this is over. I guess she's right, but for her security, I wish we could do it sooner."

"Talk with her again when this has passed. Maybe she will have changed her mind."

"We'll see. I'm going to try to get some sleep. It's been a long night," I said, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Go ahead, I'll stay here in case she wakes up. James is taking care of Harry and Remus is working with Ewan again. They're brewing some Calming Draught, just in case. We have some Dreamless Sleep in the house already. It's nice to have our own Potions Master in the place," she said half smiling.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but it really wouldn't come. Pictures of Anwen and her family kept floating behind my eyes, and I hurt for all that she was being told that she would be giving up. She would miss her sister, Liddy the most. They had finally found a way to be sisters again, I envied the relationship that she had with her. They had a common past, things that they shared before the age of eleven; things she never told me about. Now there was no one in Anwen's life who would remember those things. I wasn't sure if I had slept, but after a while, I finally decided that I should get up. I opened my eyes are realized that she wasn't here anymore. I got up off the bed and went downstairs. She was sitting on the couch, leaning on Remus. He was talking to her in hushed tones. When I walked in, he pointed at me. As she turned her head, the pain in her face was evident. She opened her arms to me, like Harry did when he saw any of us and wanted us to pick him up. I folded her into my arms, and felt her begin trembling again.

"Come now love, please stop crying. It will be okay. When all this is over, we will go and find them and bring them home."

"What if they are happy where they are then?" she whimpered.

"We can still have a relationship with them. It will be okay. Come on, we still have each other, and this wacky marauding family of ours," I said trying to make her smile. She began to calm down.

"Sirius, will you do something for me?"

"Love, I will do anything for you."

"Take me to Wales. Let me see the house and say goodbye," I froze, I wasn't sure if it was such a good idea.

"Anwen, it might not be safe. The Death Eaters or worse...Voldemort could be there waiting for you to show up. The whole series of attacks last night was designed to get at your family."

"I have to see. I have to say goodbye, please," she was begging. I couldn't resist her when she begged.

"All right, but we there are going to be some rules here. We take James with us, and we go under the Invisibility Cloak, and we go at night."

"Tonight?" she said hopefully.

"Let me talk to James, and if he is free, then we can go tonight. Are you sure that you will be all right?"

"Can I be worse than I am now?"

I smiled at her. _It's good that she's making jokes. Maybe this all won't be so bad._ Remus left to go and get James, and he agreed that we could go tonight.

A little after midnight, we were out on the front lawn. She looked small and broken as we got ready to go. I wrapped her up tightly in my arms and whispered in her ear, "Don't forget your ring, if you should need it," she nodded. James held on to my arm, since I would be apparating us all. James had never been there, and Winnie was in no shape to get herself there safely.

I apparated us into the large barn, to the back of the house, all the cows were gone as well.

"I never did learn to milk them right," she sighed. James threw his cloak over us, I knew our feet were sticking out, but it shouldn't matter in the dark. We had both drawn our wands, and Anwen was between us, my arm wrapped around her shoulder. As we stepped out of the barn, I heard Anwen gasp and then felt her stumble.

The house was barely standing. There was a large void where the back door used to be and it carried up both of the stories. The rafters were bent into what was the attic and all the windows had been blown out. Along the fence there were flowers and cards that had been left by the neighbors as remembrances. _I need a few of those up to hold onto for Anwen, she may appreciate them someday. _ I summoned them behind her back and they flew under the cloak at us. I stuffed them into the pocket of my trousers.

"I guess we don't have to worry about unlocking the door," James whispered. We went into the structure and James lit his wand under the cloak. I could tell that Anwen was taking it in. As I looked around the room, I was remembering the few times that we had been here. The place where her little brother and I played cards, the spot her mother first complained about my hair, the door that her father had welcomed me into the family after our engagement last year. If the memories were flooding me now, I could only imagine how hard it must be for her. I could feel her shaking against me.

"Do you think I can take a few things?" She asked.

"I don't see why not. It's not like there will be anyone here to miss them," I replied. She took a picture from the mantle, I shrunk it and put it in my pocket. She motioned over toward the couch and indicated the small quilt that was rolled up on the end. We waddled over, like we were in a strange four legged race, toward the couch and I grabbed the blanket and reduced it, and stowed it away as well.

"There is one other thing. I'm afraid it's upstairs. Do you think we can get to it?" She asked meekly.

"Anwen, the stairs are gone," James said, Anwen sighed.

"All right, tell me what it is that you are wanting, and I'll apparate up, get it and come back down," I told her.

"Thank you. In the bedroom to the back left of the house, Liddy's room, there will be a chest on the floor with my name on it. It's my hope chest."

"Wait here with James, love," I put a disillusionment charm on myself and stepped out from behind the cloak. I apparated upstairs to the hallway and walked to Liddy's bedroom. The bed was unmade, and there were clothes all over. By the window I found the chest. I shrunk it and put it in my other pocket. As I was turning to leave, I saw something dark moving in the trees. I watched for a moment more, and I was sure that I saw someone out there. I apparated back downstairs.

"James, hold onto her. We've got company. Should we go from here?" I whispered to him.

"The house shuttered when you went between floors. I'm not sure that it would stand all three of us leaving here. Let's get back outside, and then we can go," he said. We started back through the kitchen, to the back door. I saw James hand reach out and take something off the wall.

"I know that there is someone out there in the trees. Watch out, okay. Get her home, I will get there on my own."

We stepped out into the night air. I could vaguely hear the cloak swish, and then there was a rather loud pop. James had gotten Anwen away. A curse flew about two feet in front of me, where I think that they had just been. It was fired from the outcrop of trees behind the house. I took a breath an Apparated myself out of there.

I ran into the house from the front yard. I could hear voices in the lounge.

"...James, I am sure of it. The magic is the same color as the person lurking in the trees last night," I walked into the room, but no one said anything. "Who the hell is it?"

"Anwen, it's okay, we'll figure it out," she turned towards my voice, but just had a confused look on her face.

"Sirius?"

"Love, I'm right here," I said, walking towards her.

"Where? I can't see you."

I lifted my wand and cast the counter charm. The warm dripping feeling again ran down me. Now Anwen flung herself at me. She was crying again, and holding of all things a wooden spoon in her hand.

"Sirius, I'm sure that it was the same magic I saw in the trees last night. It seems familiar, but I can't remember why."

"Calm down now, please. When you're feeling better we'll talk about it. Come on now, let's go upstairs and get some rest, it's really late. Why don't you go upstairs and I'll be right there love?" I took the spoon from her hand and she nodded and headed for the door. When she was out, I reached in my pockets and took out the things that we had brought back from the farm, and handed them to Moony.

"Take these back to the house in London, they're her family mementos. Someday she will want to see them, but right now, they'll just make her cry again."

"No problem. I'll put them in my room for the time being."

"Thanks, and thank you for being such a good friends to her today, I know it helped, all of you."

"That's what families are for Sirius," Lily said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Now go on, you know she won't relax until you're there," I smiled at them and bounded up the stairs, two at a time. She was already changed and sitting in the bed when I got there. She had pulled her legs up under her, with her arms wrapped around them, laying her head on her knees. I pulled my jumper off, and unzipped and walked out of my trousers and pulled off my socks, turned out the lights and laid my wand aside, and climbed into bed with her. She crawled over and settled herself against me.

"Are you okay love?" I said, stroking her head.

"I guess. I mean, I know that they are safe this way, and it's not like I really spent that much time with them, but I liked knowing that they were there, if I wanted to talk with them, now that won't happen," she said, lazily tracing her fingers along my chest.

"Of course it will, when all this is over, we'll go and find your family, it'll be okay. But, it brings up something that I have been thinking about. We don't know when it will be over."

"Right, but it will be over, at some point."

"Yes, it will, but it could be years, and our run in with my deranged cousin and her whack job of a husband last night started me thinking. Something could happen to me, and even though we are engaged..." I couldn't figure out how to get this out.

"What love?" She said, leaning up on her arms. The moonlight cut across her face and she looked so beautiful. I ran my fingers into her hair and pulled her down to me. Our lips met and all the stress of the last two days slipped away from me. When we broke apart, I whispered to her, "Marry me."

"You silly man, I already said that I would," she smiled and kissed me again, her one hand was in my hair and the other was stroking my chest.

"I know, but we didn't set a date. Let's set one, let's just get married," she stared at me dumbfounded.

"Without my family?"

"Anwen, listen. It can be small, just us, and then when the war is over, we can find your Ma and Da and all your siblings and have a huge reception, or get married again, or whatever will make you happy. Just please, tell me that you will marry me, soon," I kissed her again.

"Are you sure? You've told me that you never saw yourself as a married man, once. It's a strange turn of events to have you begging to be wed and me being the hesitant one."

"Winnie love, I said those things over three years ago. I was seventeen and I still didn't know just how important you were to me. Marry me, set a date and just marry me. Be my wife."

"Okay," she smiled at me. I kissed her again, my hands moving down her to grasp the end of her little nightgown. I pulled it up over her head, I could see her smirk in the moonlight. "So when do you want it to be?" she asked me. I ran my hands along her back, sliding my fingers along the top of her knickers.

"Tomorrow, next week, whatever makes you happy," she laughed at me and my quick work of her clothing.

"Um, I would like some time to plan love. How about this fall, it will give me a few months to get ready."

"If that's what you want, then it's fine with me. Sit down with Lily tomorrow, I am sure between the two of you, you can find a suitable date. But for now my love, I think we need to have some practice for the honeymoon," I pulled her hair aside, and kissed the spot behind her ear that made her moan.

"You do huh? Well, I'd hate for us to not be prepared for such a thing," she turned her head and her lips met mine as she pulled herself on top of me.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24:**

**When It All Falls Apart ...**

**Sirius POV:**

Exhaustion had finally taken her over, and she was balled up on the couch in the lounge, sleeping soundly, law books scattered on the floor around her, glasses perched on her head. I wasn't sure when she had finally fallen asleep, but I couldn't help but smile at my little witch. _She was working so hard at the Ministry, then working with Lily and Ewan at night on the potion and planning our wedding, it's a wonder that she hasn't collapsed from the stress. From what I could gather, at work they were working on ways to bring down the Death Eaters organization, by freezing financial assets. The idea was based on something that was done in the United States to bring down organized crime. Anwen had the mind to find ways to use existing laws in new and different ways. She was amazing to watch when she was coming up with ideas. Honestly, her intelligence made her even more desirable._

_The wedding was only weeks away. It was going to be small, but knowing her, it would be lovely. There was only one place that she wanted it to be, and thankfully, Dumbledore agreed. We would be getting married on the first Saturday of November on the banks of the Black Lake on the Hogwarts campus. Dinner would follow at Potter Manor. I knew very little of what was going to happen, she and Lily often had their heads pressed together, talking in hushed tones when they were together. It makes me happy to know that she has some respite from the war. All I knew for certain was that I was wearing dark gray dress robes and James was standing up with me. Lily would be standing up with Anwen and Harry was going to be the ring bearer. Remus would be giving her away, since our relationship has changed, he has really taken over the role of her big brother. The guests would consist of Eva, a few friends from school and Quidditch, selected staff from Hogwarts and members of the Order. The only family that I had even bothered to invite was my cousin Andi and her family._

_Security was high for the nuptials. We had owled everyone with the date, but no location. James, Remus and I would patronus everyone in the morning on the day of, to let them know that we would be marrying at Hogwarts. Anwen wanted to be married at sunset, when the sky would be painted in her most glorious hues. When she asked, I wondered if I would ever be able to deny her anything._

I'd slept upstairs, going up sometime after two while she was still working. It hadn't been a good nights sleep, it never was when Anwen wasn't there. I rounded the corner of the stairs and walked into the kitchen and started making her some coffee, I would have to wake her soon, so she could go in to the Ministry.

The French press was set, and I put the kettle on to boil the water for both her coffee and my morning tea. I heard a pop in the back yard and the back door slam. I turned to see Moony coming in. He had been spending a great deal of time working with Ewan, and often never made it back here, instead staying at the manor with the potions master. Not only were they working on the binding potion that Ewan had designed, but he was also teaching Moony to brew something called the Wolfsbane Potion. The potion was designed to keep his transformations from being so hard, and allow him to keep a greater control of his mind on full moon nights.

"Keep it down, she's sleeping in the lounge," I said, not turning away from the tea leaves I was scooping.

"Go wake her, we have to go," I dropped what I was doing and turned to face my old friend. His face was taut and he was white.

"What happened?"

"The wards at the Manor have been breached. Everyone got out okay, they are at Hogwarts right now, but we need to get there right away."

"How were the wards breeched? It had everything but a _Fidelius_ on it," I asked him, turning off the kettle, then turning to walk towards the lounge where my bride to be was looking so peaceful. I knew that the look would be gone within moments of her waking.

"Someone who has been in the house must have given it away." Moony was fuming. "That's the only way, you have to be walked through the wards by someone that's recognized. When we heard the first alarms, Ewan were in the potions room, everyone else was still upstairs, asleep. Ewan set about destroying the lab while I went to get James, Lily and Harry out. Good thing for those emergency portkeys that Eva had made for everyone. She's up there at the castle."

I nodded as he spoke, and then contemplated just scooping her up and taking her with me, but the Apparating would probably wake her up. I would have to wake her, not knowing how much sleep she got, or when she'd be able to rest again. I knew that she'd be leaving on another extended international trip.

"Anwen, love, you need to wake up. Winnie, come on now, wake up," her eyelids began to flutter open and she threw her arm over her face.

"No. I don't want to," she whined.

"Anwen, you have to. The wards at the Manor fell. We have to go," her eyes flew open and she sat up with a start. She was awake now. She pulled her glasses down onto her face, and then she reached down, grabbed her trainers that were on the floor next to the couch and slipped her feet in. Her wand was on the floor as well, and she slammed it into her back pocket.

"Do we know what happened?" she asked standing up.

"No, but someone gave the location away and would have had to walk them through the first wards. Come on, Dumbledore needs you right now, there is something that you have to do. Everyone else is at Hogwarts already," Remus told her, she nodded her head, and grabbed her little bag from the table by the door. I was amazed when I looked inside once, she carried so much in there, she could probably survive out of the bag for days. There was food, water, clean clothes, even reading material in there. Anything that magic couldn't provide easily, she carried with her. _ Something about 'being prepared' as taught by the Girl Guides as a child. _We all hurried out the back door, and in quick succession we each apparated ourselves to the gates of the school.

As we ran up the path at Hogwarts, something struck me. "Do we know where Peter was?"

"No idea, but he's to be notified when the emergency portkey is activated. I suppose he'll be up in Albus' office," Remus answered. It was getting harder and harder to know where Wormtail was. His Mum and Dad were having pressure applied to them, seeing as they were both working in the Magical Transportation offices, in the Floo department. Voldemort wanted to know who was using what floo, even if they weren't set up on the Ministries network. Potter Manor was one of the homes that wasn't registered or tracked, seeing as it was older than the Ministry. We ran through the front doors and up to the Headmaster's office.

"Chocolate Frogs," Moony said, and the statue turned aside. He lead the way upstairs, followed by Winnie and then me. James, Lily, Harry and Ewan were all in the room, along with Moody and Dumbledore.

"Thank you for coming so quickly. Anwen, we need to get Ewan out of the country. We believe that he has potion is a success, and now that we know how to brew it, we need him to be safely away. It would do us no good to have Voldemort getting hold of it as well."

"I understand sir. I'm ready. Where am I taking him?" Anwen said, stepping forward.

"Back to Canada. We've already worked with the Canadian Ministry, and they have relocated the rest of his family to a magical area of Montreal. Since his cover has been that he is French, he will fit in there. You will be headed by Muggle transportation to Spain first, and then take a plane to North America. Once there, the Canadian Ministry will meet you to help with the final resettlement," Anwen was nodding to all of this. "You will need to be leaving immediately," Anwen opened her mouth to say something, but Dumbledore continued, "I know that your wedding is coming up soon, you will be back in plenty of time."

"Yes, sir," she said quietly. I didn't like that she was being sent away. A moment later, Eva and Peter came in, carrying some traveling cases and a pile of parchment.

"As for what to do with James, Lily and Harry," Dumbledore continued his orders, "I believe that the best course here would be to place you under a _Fidelius_ charm, in a safe house. I have a house already prepared, and when you're ready, I can take you there. Alastor has started the spell, and done the rest of the warding. James, you will need to select a secret keeper, and complete the spell with them there." James gave a curt dip of the head in understanding. Lily looked white as snow, and Moony went and wrapped comforting arm around her and Harry.

"I will take my leave now, so that you may say your goodbyes. Anwen and Ewan, you should be on your way to King's Cross soon, your train leaves within the hour," the headmaster walked out, followed by Moody.

Ewan turned and began talking with Lily and Remus animately, I assumed that they were conferring about the potions. I wrapped my arms around Anwen. "I want to come with you," I whispered to her. Eva and Peter were checking over the bags again, so I pulled her away from everyone and kissed her, hoping that it would be enough to sustain us both.

"You can't. We knew that this would be coming. Ewan and I need to appear to be traveling together, as a couple. Having you there would make the cover less convincing. Anyway, one of us needs to be here to make sure that we are ready for the wedding. Talk with Lily, she knows everything. We'll probably have to move the ceremony, or trim the guest list, or...I'm not sure. I can't imagine not having Lily and James with us. I can give up just about everyone else, but not them. Talk with Dumbledore, see what he says..." I finally had to kiss her again to get her to stop.

"Don't worry. I will take care of everything. Just make sure that you are home in time. It's not much of a wedding without the bride," she smiled at me again.

"I promise I will be there. You are my heart and soul, and wherever you are, I am there too. Always remember that," she said with conviction as she guided my head down to her and kissed me with so much passion, I thought that my knees might buckle. When our lips released, she whispered, "something to remember me by." She broke the embrace, but continued to hold onto my hand.

She hugged James and Remus, then turned to Lily. You could see that a silent conversation passed between the two, their foreheads pressed together like sisters sharing childhood secrets. Lily was looking increasingly fragile, and I hope that she'd survive everything today. Eva hugged my fiancée quickly and then went to stand by Lily. Anwen and Peter shook hands, Anwen appearing to bristle at his touch. They'd never been close, but it seemed that there was greater and greater distance between them. Lastly, Anwen took little Harry in her arms.

"Now, my little man, you keep your Mum and Dad safe, and I will be back very soon. I love you Harry," with that she kissed his head and hugged him. Harry's pudgy little hand patted her on the back.

"Wub oo, birdy," he told her in his broken baby talk. He called her birdy, as he loved to watch her fly. He was the only one who got away with it. Anwen kissed his round cheek again and passed him back to his Mum.

"Are you ready for your disguise?" she asked the potions master and Ewan nodded his assent. She ran her hand over his head and he immediately shot up in height to nearly as tall as I was, his hair turned a light blond and his eyes darkened to a deep chocolate brown. His clothes transformed as well, becoming a well fitting Muggle suit. A moment later, Anwen had her long red curls and freckles.

"Well, then, we're off. I will send word as I can, but don't expect it at regular intervals. Traveling as Muggles will make it hard. Sirius, I will call on the phone at the house when I can, I don't think that anyone outside of us knows we have it, so it should be safe," I nodded at her. "Take care everyone, and be safe, and watch out for one another." She took a deep breath, and turned to face me, grabbing both of my hands. "I love you, and I can't wait to marry you," there was a tear in her eye as I leaned down to kiss her again.

"I love you too, always," she nodded at me, and then broke away. With that, she took Ewan's hand and headed out of the headmaster's study and was gone. We were all silent for a moment, finally Remus broke the uncomfortable quiet.

"She'll be fine mate, and she'll be back, she wouldn't miss her own wedding if she had to walk through hell to get there," I smiled at him, he was right. "We need to finish making this plan." He always was the strategist. He moved closer to Eva, and she wrapped an arm around him. Good to know that Moony was getting some too. _Yeah, great thing there, Sirius, except you won't be getting any until your wedding night the way things are going. Damn._

"We need a secret keeper," James stated and then looked at Lily. She nodded and he continued. "Sirius, will you do it?" I stumbled back at the request. _He's asking me to guard his life, along with Lily and Harry's._

"Of course," I answered before a thought passed through my head. "But, don't you think that people will be expecting that? It's fairly common knowledge that we're best mates."

"Yeah, but I have faith in you. I trust you with the life of my family," James said to me solemnly.

"I would protect them with my life, but I think that there could be a more creative way of going about this. Who is the least likely Marauder to be given such a job?"

"Peter," Remus said, concerned.

"Peter," James said, understanding.

"Peter?" Lily said surprised.

"Me?" Peter asked, shocked.

"Him?" Eva was the most incredulous in her facial expression and voice.

"Exactly. Peter. No one would be expecting that, and then he can tell all of us. No one would ever think that we would have Peter do it. No offense, mate, but you can't duel and you're not known for being strong in your spell work. The Death Eaters will go after Moony and I first, and let them. It will help distract attention from the real secret keeper."

"It's a sound plan," Remus confirmed.

"It is, but Sirius, if either of you get captured, you're liable to be tortured for information you won't have," Eva reminded us. "You could still die protecting them."

"Look, I'd rather know that even if I was taken, and someone probed my mind and tortured me until I was near death, that I couldn't ever give the information away." It wasn't a pleasant thought, but it was the truth. Lily was now crying over the discussion, and James was comforting her.

"I think that we should do this, but keep it amongst ourselves. There is still someone selling us out," Remus added. I nodded, as did James and Eva only Lily looked skeptical, but she trusted James.

Peter looked like he'd been cornered by a cat, but nodded when James outright asked him.

We talked a bit longer, Eva being the first to leave, knowing that she had to be in to work. She was also going to stop by the Auror department and make sure that everyone who needed to know that Anwen was on assignment was informed. Mad-Eye wasn't real great with his paperwork.

Peter left next, wanting to pack a few things of his. After he helped James finish the _Fidelius_ spell and he'd let the few of us know and then he was going into hiding himself. He didn't want his parents being endangered any more than they already were.

Lily explained that she was hoping to brew up the binding potion while they were still at Hogwarts, knowing that Professor Slughorn had everything that she needed here. They had the supply that Ewan had made at the manor already, in the small case by Harry's diaper bag, but Lily wanted to have more, not knowing how long they would be in hiding. They would be binding themselves to not only each other, but to Harry as well.

It was ingenious, the potion that Ewan had designed. It made the drinker nearly un-killable, but only for a short period of time, two to three weeks. The way that it worked, the drinker was bound to the blood of another's blood. In the case of Lily and James, the could bind themselves to Harry and to each other. It was a bit nasty to brew, requiring a sample of both participants blood, and then you had to drink it, while saying a charm, but, generally it was brilliant. Ewan had also made it in such a way that if there was true love between those who shared the potion, it was even stronger. _Who knew love could strengthen magic? _ Given that Voldemort was hunting them, for reasons that we didn't really understand, it gave the Potter's a way to be safe. Should Voldemort ever get his hands on the potion, the results would be devastating. The likelihood of that happening were reduced by getting Ewan out of the country. The only people who could brew it were in this room or on their way to Canada, dressed as a vacationing Muggle couple from Ireland. Anwen was up to the job of getting him away safely, my only worry was for her to get back in time for the wedding.

**Anwen POV:**

I had changed my appearance again and was now sitting in a first class seat, headed back to London. My wedding was in four days, and I was going to get home. Months ago, Sirius and I had gone back to Gringotts, and gotten me another set of identification, ones which we only knew of. We were both convinced that someone, probably someone close, was feeding the other side information on us. I didn't want to have to use my alias from the Ministry, it could be traced. Even the Order didn't know about this persona; this one was mine, and mine alone.

The original plan was for me to come home in two days, but I was afraid of what might happen, so I purchased my own ticket and was returning, without Ministry or Order knowledge early. I had called my beloved to tell him what would be happening on the morning of Halloween. I had begged him to tell me how to get in touch with James and Lily, so I could talk with her about the wedding plans, but he said that he couldn't tell me, but when I was back, he would arrange it so that we could go and see them. My nervous energy at soon being home was threatening to overtake me. I was surprised that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper, but thought again about how obvious that would be. Perhaps it was Dumbledore or even Alastor.

Things had gone well in Canada. Ewan had been happy to be reunited with his parents and siblings and I had enjoyed my time with them. I had brought home a fair amount of chocolate, including something called sponge candy, which was a bit like airy honeycomb dipped in chocolate that I had fallen in love with. I couldn't wait to share it with Sirius. I had also found him the perfect wedding gift at a wizarding shop in Montreal. My joy at soon being wed was overwhelming and I truly think that I may have driven the duChamp family a little crazy with it. Ewan had also given me a package for Sirius and I as a wedding gift. I was very touched at his kindness. They also introduced me to another sport that I think I may have come to enjoy as much as Rugby, a game played on ice called Hockey. It was fast, very fast, almost as fast as Quidditch and very physical. I enjoyed the games we took in while I was there. _Maybe Sirius and I could go back one day._

Once the plane landed, I moved through customs quickly, _because I confunded the security worker,_ and since I had no luggage (everything I needed was inside of my carry on) I quickly left the airport and got into a cab. It was very early morning when we started driving through London. When it pulled up in front of my home, I was nearly bouncing off the seat. I paid the driver and headed to the house. The cab pulled away and the street was bare, so I returned my appearance as I walked up the front sidewalk. When I reached the front door, it was unlocked, which I thought was odd, _I wish they would lock the door at night. Granted, locks won't keep the magical out of the house, but it would keep run of the mill creeps out._

The scene in the lounge made me stop; things were completely torn apart. The cushions on the seats had been ripped open, and there were papers everywhere. My books were strewn around the room and the phone stand had been turned over, and the phone ripped out of the wall. The kitchen was much the same, and my piano music was all over the dining room. I ran upstairs and all the bedrooms were a mess as well. I flew back down the stairs and into the basement, to check the room that Remus used for his changes. We were between full moons, but, I hoped that perhaps something had happened and I would find Remus and Sirius downstairs. The basement was dark and empty. I ran out the back door and apparated to the gates of Hogwarts. Without breaking my stride, I sent my Patronus up to the headmaster's office and kept running toward the front doors. When I reached the stairs, I saw both Dumbledore and Minerva waiting there for me.

"What happened? Where are Sirius and Remus?" I yelled at them. I could feel the tears pricking at the sides of my eyes.

"Anwen dear, let's go up to my study, and we can talk there," Minerva said, putting her arm around me. She had finally, only very recently, persuaded me to stop referring to her as my professor, and instead consider her my friend.

"No," I said shaking her off. "Tell me where they are," I yelled.

"Anwen, we need to calm down. You are scaring the students," Dumbledore said to me. I nodded my understanding. "Remus is upstairs in the infirmary," I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth. "He was attacked the other night, by another werewolf. He was found by Alastor Moody while he was making his rounds in Hogsmeade. He was brought here for care. Madame Pomfrey has been nursing him since," my knees buckled at the story. Minerva kept her arm around me and helped me up the stairs.

"Where is Sirius?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"We are not sure," his voice responded and great sobs broke free from me.

"My wedding is in four days, where is my fiancée?" No one said anything else until we reached Minerva's study as I was crying greatly. "Okay, do we think that Voldemort has him? Was he kidnapped? Maybe there was an accident?"

"Anwen, please sit down," Minerva said to me.

"No! Tell me what's happening! WHERE IS SIRIUS?" I screamed louder than I knew I could and I felt my magic prickling in my fingers and lighting up the air around me.

"He's fled."

"What do you mean 'he's fled'? Fled what?"

"We believe that he has fled Great Britain."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"Anwen, on Halloween night, someone betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort," my knees gave out on me as Dumbledore spoke, I fell to the floor. "He attacked them, the house was destroyed. I believe, well, we believe, that it was Sirius who gave the information to Voldemort," I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"NOOOO!" I screamed as I was crying hysterically. "There is no way! Sirius would rather die than betray James, he loves Harry as if he was his own son. They're our family! There's no way. How can you believe that? How can you think so little of him?" I was still on the floor, but my whole body was shaking uncontrollably.

"Sirius was made the secret keeper for the safe house. It had to have been him that gave away their location," _Wait, what did he just say? If Sirius had been the secret keeper, then he could have told me where Lily was the other night. He would have told me. It couldn't have been him. I'd figured that much out on the plane. _I shook my head to clear it, and regained my senses. I worked to pull myself together and I jumped to my feet. I took a deep steadying breath and looked at the head of the Order square in the face.

"Sir, if Sirius was the secret keeper, he would have been able to tell me where Lily was, correct?" I was suddenly calm. _This was a mistake. It had to be a mistake. _My chest continued to heave up and down.

"Yes," he said, his voice ripe with skepticism. _Was it for my sudden change in behavior or for what I was about to suggest?_

"He couldn't have been the secret keeper," I said assuredly.

"How can you be so sure?" he said, looking at me with great intent. Minerva was also watching, _although I am sure that she is afraid I am going to go crazy here in a moment._

"If he had been the secret keeper, he would have told me how to get in touch with Lily the other night. I was begging him sir, pleading with him, and he kept telling me that he **couldn't **tell me," I sat back down in the chair, they both followed suit.

"You're sure of this? There is no way that he could have been misleading you," he asked me. I thought on this for a moment, I was sure, _but am I willing to share the details of how I know? _

"Sir, you're speaking about the man I love," I retorted angrily. "He is everything in the world to me, and I know his heart as I know my own. There isn't any way in hell that Sirius would have betrayed anyone, let alone the Potters.

"When I called, I was begging him. I promised him something that he cannot refuse, and he still wouldn't or **couldn't** tell me," they looked at me confused. _Great, they don't believe me. I can't believe that I'm going to share this._ "All right," I rolled my eyes at what I was about to say, "there is this thing that I do with my tongue, on a a rather, um, intimate part of his anatomy, that makes him crazy. I promised I would do it when I got home, if he told me how to reach Lily to talk about the wedding plans." Minerva blushed and looked away, and I was wishing that the earth would open up and swallow me whole, but Dumbledore looked at me with an understanding smile.

"Trust me, if he could have told me, that promise of that would have been enough. He couldn't have been the secret keeper," he nodded at me. My breathing was returning to normal. _Sirius wouldn't do this, he wouldn't leave me right before the wedding._

"I can see your point," and then there was silence, we all seemed to be intellectually digesting something. _Sirius has to be fine, he has to be in Greece. But what about...if Voldemort found them, oh God, we were sure the potion worked. Every trial it worked, Ewan had even tried it out on himself and we couldn't...oh no, please._ My tears started again.

"Sir, are James and Lily and Harry really dead?" I asked quietly. Minerva began crying again, and I knew the answer as well. _Oh God, no, please no...I can't loose them too. _

"The attack was vicious. I'm sorry they are no longer with us."

Great sobs broke free from my body and I wept for the friend who had become like my sister, my friend who had been my savior and for my sweet little man. Dumbledore tried to comfort me, but I shook him off. _There is only one pair of arms that I wanted holding me, and I am sure that I know where they are. _There was however, something that I had to do first. I pulled myself together, I would grieve later, I had to make sure that what was left of my family was okay, and then I had to find Sirius.

"So, the potion didn't work?" Dumbledore looked at me, but said nothing. _We were all so sure. We had tested it over and over. Remus and Lily were as convinced as Ewan. Stop it, we can deal with the potion another time, your family, you have to take care of your family. _ I steeled myself yet again. "I need to see Remus now. Has anyone talked with him about this?" I said, getting up.

"He's been out of it since the night of the attack. He keeps asking for Eva, you and Sirius. Maybe it will help now that you are back. We'll walk with you," Minerva said, taking my arm in hers.

"What happened to Eva? Why isn't she here with him?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"No one has seen her since two days after you left. All of her belongs, along with those of her parents were gone from the house they shared. We don't know if they fled or if they were taken," Dumbledore explained. The world began spinning as he talked. I gave up on trying to stand and just sat myself on the floor.

"The family, our family...we've been destroyed," I whimpered before the sobs took me over. I laid down and cried on the floor of Minerva's office. She handed me a phial and I drank it, but I couldn't stop the thoughts of how I had lost my birth family and now, we'd lost most of the Marauding one too. The potion took effect, and I was able to get myself together enough to go and see Remus. I needed to be strong for him.

We climbed the stairs to the hospital wing. Remus was lying in the far corner, with privacy screens around him. I nodded at the school nurse as we passed. "He's very restless right now, please try to keep him calm. He's been asking for you," I nodded at her and went into the confined space. The professors stayed near the opening. I had to swallow down my tears over the Potters, Eva and my uncertainty about Sirius to talk with the last of my friends.

"Remus," I said softly, stroking his cheek with my hand. He was a mass of bruises and cuts, and while I was sure Madame Pomfrey was healing him, he looked awful. He stirred under my touch.

"Anwen. Anwen, you made it back," I smiled at him.

"Of course I did silly. Do you think that I would miss my own wedding?" _A wedding that lost most of it's wedding party. _

"No. Anwen, what happened? I can't seem to remember."

"I know. I wish I could tell you, but there is a lot that I don't know yet. When I understand it all, I can tell you too. Okay?" He nodded gently at me. "Can you help me with a little piece of it?" I asked him, in the softest voice I could, still stroking his face.

"Yes."

"Remus, who is the secret keeper for James and Lily?"

"Sirius..."_my heart fell, oh please no _"...Sirius insisted that we make it Peter," he took a deep breath. "No one would expect Peter," I nodded at him, and turned to look at Minerva and the headmaster, they were both shocked.

"You're positive?" I asked him again, turning my head back to him.

"Yes, why, has something happened?" he asked. I looked behind me again, and Dumbledore shook his head.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with right now. I'm going to go, but I promise I will be back soon. You keep working on getting better okay?" He nodded at me, and turned his head. I kissed his forehead and slipped away from him.

The three of us left the infirmary in silence. I didn't even realize that we had climbed the stairs to the headmaster's office, until we were there. _ Peter, it was Peter. All those years, those creepy feelings that I kept getting from him, the odd way he was. Oh God, it was his magic that I recognized. He's been avoiding me since he learned that I could read people's magic. Why didn't I recognize it when I saw him the day I left? How could I have been so distracted. If I'd realized it then...oh, Merlin, we could have avoided all of this. _The guilt that I was feeling was overwhelming. This was my fault. I failed my best friends and little Harry.

_This isn't your fault, _ I started to argue with myself. _This is Peter's fault. He knew that I could figure out it was him. He was the one who told them about my wings...he helped arrange for me to be attacked. Oh god, he was an accomplice in my attempted rape. _I felt the bile rise in my throat and I folded myself over and vomited on the floor. Minerva lead me over to a chair, and then walked back to clean it up.

"I can't believe that it was Peter. He may have been feeding Voldemort information for years. He could have been behind the attack on me. He gave up James and Lily and Harry. How did we not see this coming?" I was musing aloud. The thoughts were running around in my mind and my heart was racing. I was breathing heavily and the room was spinning around me. The headmaster handed me something, another phial, and ordered me, rather sternly, to drink it. I felt the sweet liquid slide down my throat and as it reached my core, things began steadying around me. After a minute my head seemed to stop swimming and my heart slowed down. "Thank you," I muttered to him.

"Anwen, we will have to put together that puzzle at another time and place. Right now, my concern is for Sirius," I turned my head back to him. I nodded at him, and my heart swelled at his concern for my love. I was trying to shut off my heart, and let my head do all the work now, because my grief was so great it, was about to consume me.

"Why sir?" I asked dumbly.

"The Aurors believe that he is the one who gave them up. There is a full scale hunt on for him right now. The department is reeling from everything that has happened this week," Dumbledore said with sadness in his voice.

"Was there more?"

"Yes, but don't concern yourself with that right now," I looked at him, puzzled. "Do you have any idea where Sirius might be?" _Was I prepared to tell them what I knew?_

"Yes, sir. I think I do. But, I'm not sure how much I can tell you about it. I have been there once, but it is someplace that Sirius set up for my safety. I really can't get into the whole story with you now," he nodded at me. "I can get there, but I doubt anyone else can. It's under the _Fidelius_ charm, and Sirius is the secret keeper. The house is in ..." I couldn't say the word. My mouth suddenly stopped working. I could hear my brain saying _Greece_ but I couldn't seem to say the actual name. No matter how many times I tried, nothing would come out. Dumbledore smiled at me, somewhat amused.

"Well, that's a damn powerful spell. It was set up by the..." again, nothing. "I'm sorry, it would appear that there is little that I can say about it, I can go there, however. Now that we know the truth, that it's Peter that was the secret keeper, can I bring Sirius home?" Hope was returning to my voice, the headmaster however, looked at me sadly.

"Anwen, there is a room in the Department of Mysteries, where the list of all secret keepers are kept. I can get it, due to my position in the Wizengamot. Sirius is still listed there as the secret keeper."

"Remus is telling the truth. He has to be."

"I am sure that he is, but he has had head trauma, and he has been attacked my a werewolf again. I am afraid that people will not believe him," _this couldn't be happening._ I felt fresh tears falling on my face.

"So, what do we do now, do I leave him out there, alone? How do I get to bring him home?"

"We will need to find Peter Pettigrew," I sank at the idea. _Great, find the guy that can disguise himself as a rat, because there are so uncommon in Great Britain. _The despair was threatening to overtake me, but I decided against letting it.

"I have to go, I need to get to Sirius. I can Portkey from here?" I asked the professor, she nodded her ascent. I grabbed my small bag and steadied myself. "Fine, I'll be back soon, try to get the Aurors to understand that they are looking for Peter, not Sirius, please," I begged the headmaster as I was lifting my wand. I touched the small silver ring with the tip and whispered, "Portus" and I felt myself pulled into the swirling light.

My feet landed hard on the floor of the sitting room in the flat in Greece. I fell to the floor in a heap. "Sirius, Sirius please be here," I screamed, tears were falling from my eyes. _This is my only hope. He has to be here. _"Sirius, please be here," I was sobbing. I looked around the flat, and I saw no one, it appeared to be empty. I couldn't hold it together any longer and the grief overtook me.

Then he was there.

I vaguely recognized that there was more light in the room, from the patio doors being thrown open, but I really wasn't aware, until I felt his arms around, me, pulling me up from the floor. His touch brought me back to reality. I was in his embrace and his lips were on me, and for the first time since I arrived back in London I felt normal. He yanked me up from the floor and crushed me against the wall kissing me so hard, I could barely catch my breath. I wasn't in control of anything, not even my own breathing, I was crying and moaning and grasping to hold onto him, afraid that if I stopped that he would disappear again. I felt the buttons on my blouse rip away and his hand slide to caress me, and it was the most blissful thing that I could remember every feeling. We didn't need words, there were no words. We just wanted to feel alive. He held me against the wall, my legs wrapped around him for support, my skirt in a bunch at my waist. I don't know how I did it, but he was soon free of his pants and my knickers had been ripped away. Our union was desperate and needy but I was so thankful to have him hold me, fill me. When we were done he carried me to our bed, and we laid and wept in one another's arms until we feel into a fitful sleep. Sometime later, when the rest of the world was peacefully resting, we found ourselves wrapped in each other, talking in hushed tones by candlelight. Our tears were gone, but the numbness had not set in. We both needed answers, we needed to share our stories. Sirius began speaking:

"I had told James and Lily that I would come over, to be there when Harry was going to go out trick or treating, plus I knew that if I didn't have any pictures, you would have hexed me on our honeymoon," Sirius said, smiling at me. We were laying twined together, his right arm resting on my waist, his left one cradling my shoulders and playing with my hair. My head was resting in the crook of his shoulder. I had no idea where my clothes had ended up, or in what condition I would find them, but right now I didn't care.

"I would have waited until after the honeymoon to hex you, love," I said, trying to sound mischievous, but knowing that I had come up short.

"Anyway, as I was about to leave, my dear sweet cousin showed up at our house. She is utterly crazy. She was firing off curses everywhere, doing copious amounts of damage, but completely missing me. It was like she was supposed to keep me distracted. Remus was doing watch in Hogsmeade that night, and I was home alone. And yes, I had left the candy on the porch for the trick or treaters," he added before I could even ask him. I couldn't help but smile. _This marauder is whipped and whipped good._

"It went on for what seemed like forever, every time that I thought I was getting the upper hand, she would shake me off and start over again. It was exhausting and frustrating. Then, suddenly, she was gone. Dumbledore had set up a safe house for James and Lily in Godric's Hallow, it was a Potter family house, when James first saw it he claimed he remembered it from his childhood...I flew the bike there, I was worried about them, and I couldn't find another way to make sure they were all right." Sirius stopped talking and I looked up at him. His face was covered in grief and fear. His eyes seemed so hallow and dark. I moved my hand from his chest and touched his face, soothing the lines that had settled there. I could hear his breath catch.

"Anwen, the house was destroyed. There was no way...Hagrid as there, and he told me that there was nothing else that could be done. The Muggle police were all over the house, trying to determine what had happened, I talked with them a bit, they said that the fire was so hot that there was nothing left of the bodies..." his voice was shaking, and tears had begun to fall from my eyes again. _We weren't going to have anything to bury, there was nothing left to them..._

We laid there, trying to digest what had happened. Finally, Sirius had steadied himself enough to continue. "While Hagrid and I stood in the shadows, watching all the Muggles scurrying and hurrying about their work, perplexed by what had caused the explosion, I saw Peter coming up the street. I was just about to go and speak with him, to warn him with the scene that he would find as he turned the bend, when he turned himself into his rat form. I didn't understand why, what did it matter if people saw him? I decided to follow him, so I crept along the hedgerows of the other houses and watched as Peter snook into the house. My head was reeling with questions: how did he know that he would have trouble getting into the house, or what condition the house would be in? A moment later, he emerged from the same side door that he had gone into, carrying a wand in his mouth," I could feel him tensing beneath me, so I shifted myself to where I was lying partway on top of him, our legs intertwined, my face just inches from his. His brow was taut and furrowed. I gently kissed him, trying to relieve his tension, and it seemed to work, as he continued speaking.

"I changed into my dog form, and followed him. The wand wasn't Lily's or James'. Peter started off down the street, and when he had cleared the crowds, changed himself back and I could tell that he was going to Apparate," I looked at him questioningly. "Peter was never very good at it, and often had one of us take him along, since he tended to splinch himself. When he had to do it alone, he would tense his hands at his sides and scrunch up his face. I could tell what he was up to, so I bit the cuff of his pants and held on for the ride. We ended up on a street in Devonshire, which I thought was odd. I immediately changed back, and realized that the street was full of Muggles. I couldn't believe how stupid he had just been, potentially exposing us the way he just did. I called him, and he turned around, shocked to see me. He froze, and in that moment, looking at his face, I knew it was him that had betrayed us," Sirius was speaking in a strained voice. His body was completely tense beneath mine, I could nearly feel the anger and disgust coursing through him as he began to tell me of the conversation he had with his former friend turned spy:

"' You, you are the one who betrayed them!' I yelled at him

'Sirius, old friend, you don't understand. I had to,' he graveled at me.

'Why was that?' I yelled at him, grabbing him by the jumper.

'Because he would have killed my family if I didn't,' his voice changed and his face got hard. 'Isn't it a good thing that the records in the Ministry have you listed as secret keeper. Remus is out of the picture, and no one will think of another rat roaming the streets, but you dear friend, you have the pedigree to have always been faithful to the Dark Lord,' he was sneering by the end. He raised his wand, but before he could get anything out, I hit him and knocked him out cold."

Sirius was quiet for a moment, having trouble getting himself pulled from the memory, so I just laid there, holding him, waiting for him to speak again. "I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't get hold of you, so I came here, hoping that if when you saw our house, and found out what happened to James and Lily, you would know to come here looking for me," he said resolutely. _Clearly he had been right._

"I can't believe that it has been Peter all of these years. How far back does it go? I remember seeing him headed toward the Slytherin car years ago on the train. Do you think that he's been informing Voldemort all this time?" I asked aloud, not really expecting an answer, but I got one anyway.

"I don't know. If I ever see him again, he won't live long enough to tell us why," Sirius said coldly. I didn't doubt him. There was nothing that I could say to him, I had no words of comfort. While it was true that he had been friends much longer and better than I had been with Peter, his betrayal still cut both of us deep. After a long silence, Sirius cleared his voice and spoke quietly to me again.

"Do you know anything about Remus? Is he okay?" I took a deep breath before I answered.

"He was apparently attacked while he patrolled Hogsmeade. He was in bad shape when I saw him, but Madame Pomfrey is healing him," I could swear that it was a growl that escaped Sirius. "He was attacked by a werewolf again," I whispered. _Wait, we are between full moons, that would mean that he was attacked by a werewolf in human form...oh gross...Remus had said something about them being recruited by Voldemort at the time of his father's death, but, my God...it was a human biting another human. _A whimper escaped me. "Oh God, I just figured out what that meant," I whispered to Sirius.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but the same thought crossed my mind. Anwen, all the attacks, Bella at our house, Remus, James and Lily...it wasn't a coincidence was it?"

"It doesn't feel that way. It feels like it was planned. I wonder how I escaped?"

"You weren't supposed to be back so soon, remember. The only one who knew that you were coming home yesterday was me," he said quietly. _Maybe we weren't being too cautious. _ Neither of us knew what else to say, clearly it was a well thought out and put together plan, that had succeeded on at least some horrific level. The gravity of the situation came crashing down on me again, and I couldn't bear it. It felt like the world was ending, and I didn't want my mind to acknowledge it. I wanted to shut my brain off for a while, to not feel the emotions that were beginning to fill me and force my head to places that it didn't want to be. I needed something else, something other than the questions and the regrets that were swarming within me, I needed something real, rather than all the 'what ifs' that were threatening to swallow me whole. I threw my leg over Sirius until I was straddling him, and leaned down and kissed him deeply. I needed this, needed him. I needed to love him so that I couldn't be or feel anything else. My head would be quiet if my body were lost in the feeling of my love for him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25:**

**...You find a way to Rebuild.**

**Anwen POV:**

I glanced at the clock, again, for the umpteenth time today, doing the conversion in my mind. _I should have been getting dressed now, Lily should have been helping me into my beautiful wedding gown._ I know that I should stop this, but my heart would not let me. Today was to be my wedding day, but it wasn't. The grief over the wedding that wasn't to be was more tolerable than my grief over my lost friends. I was sitting in the small lounge, curled up in a ball on the overstuffed chair, silent again. I knew it was hurting Sirius, to watch me, silent, but it all seemed too much. I was afraid if I moved, if I spoke, the waves of grief would crash over me completely and wash me away. So I closed my eyes, and dreamed of the day that wasn't going to be, at least not any time soon.

"Anwen, love" he was kneeling in front of me, his hands resting on my legs, "let's get married, here in Greece, today. We can be wed anyway," his voice was soft and gentle as his fingers caressed me.

"Darling, we can't. Chauffard and Marise are already married here. We have their marriage certificate. If we use our real names, the British government, and eventually, the Ministry will know where you are. You're safe here, I couldn't even tell Dumbledore what I knew because of the spells placed on this place. We have to keep you safe, Azkaban is no place for you," I said gently, while touching his face. He wanted so badly to fix me, to fix this, to somehow ease my pain and his as well, but it couldn't be done. He stood up and lifted me into his arms, and settled us both back down into the chair. I curled into him, his touch was the only solace that I had right now, and I knew that I was going to have to leave it, leave him soon. The comfortable silence fell upon us again.

"Tell me what you are thinking about, please?" he whispered in my ear.

"Many things," I replied, my head resting on his chest. "I'm trying so hard, but failing miserably, to not think about what we would have been doing if we were home. I keep thinking of the plans that we had made. How simply stunning you would have been in your gray robes, waiting for me on the banks of the lake, James and little Harry by your side. How beautiful Lily would have been; her dress was the most beautiful green, it made her eyes sparkle like emeralds. How I would have held onto Remus for support, because the mere sight of you would have made me want to melt," I was crying again, silent tears that were sliding down my face. "Sirius, I wanted it so badly, I could taste it. I wanted that happiness, just for a moment. I wanted to know that you really did love me, only me. That I would never again have to be afraid that I wasn't enough for you, that I wasn't good enough or beautiful enough..." I couldn't say any more.

"Hey, hey where is this coming from? After all of this time, how could that still be bothering you. It's you, only you that I love," he lifted my chin to look at him in the eyes. "All of that, it would have paled in comparison to the beauty that I have dreamed of. You, walking, no floating toward me, the most beautiful bride that would ever be, it's the stuff of my dreams. Hearing you say that you chose me, screwed up, stupid, reckless me, that you chose me to be with, somehow made me better. You seem to think that you aren't worthy of me, because you don't see yourself as beautiful enough for me; but Anwen, it's me that isn't worthy of you. You are the most generous soul that I have ever known. Without you, I don't know what I would have become. Please, please don't think that because we don't have a stupid piece of parchment with our names on it, makes this any less real," I could see the tears on his lashes, and the honesty in his heart. I pulled myself up, and kissed the tears from his eyes, and I pressed my forehead to his, and sat there, breathing him in.

"Anwen," he finally whispered. "I have our rings here, I was afraid I would loose them if I didn't keep them with me always," I laughed, just a little, at him. _He was probably right. He could never find anything he needed. _"Marry me, right here, now, just us."

"No," he looked deflated at this, but I continued. "It's not that I don't love you or want to be your wife. It's just, I want it, all of it; the dress, the music, the party and Remus needs to be there too. The promise of that is what will drive me to bring you home. I will marry you, but it will be on British soil, when we have cleared your name. That is the name I want. I need the world to know how proud I will be to be called Mrs. Black," he smiled at me, and I settled myself back down into his lap.

"Then I too shall be waiting for that day," he said quietly. We hadn't really talked about the fact that I would be returning to England, but we both knew that it would eventually happen. Probably sooner than later.

"You said that there were many things rattling around in that mind of yours. What else are ruminating upon love?"

"Ruminating. Good word Sirius. I am very proud of you," he had taken to teasing my vocabulary as of late, he called it 'Ministry speak.' I would tease back, that just because four letter words seemed to make up the bulk of his vocabulary, didn't mean he should forget the rest. I smiled at him, and he returned it.

"I'm glad that has gone for good," he said, his finger touching the curl at the end of my lips. "So tell me, what else has that rather expansive brain of yours been working on?"

"I don't understand how the potion failed. Ewan was sure of it, and Lily had become just as good as him at brewing it. We tested it on everything, insects and bugs, small mammals. Hell, we even gave it to Molly." Sirius looked at me shocked.

"Yeah, I know she's your dog, but we were nearly certain that it was working correctly at that point, and we needed a complex mammal to test it on. Sorry, she's fine, however. It was weeks ago," I said, trying to make it sound a little less awful than it was.

"I'm glad Padfoot wasn't walking around the house that day. You may have tested it on me," Sirius said in a playfully frightened way.

"Yeah, well do you realize the pain that we could have saved if we tried to test it on that rat. Maybe there wouldn't have been enough of his soul to bind to, and we could have killed him, pro actively," I said, rather maniacally. _I've never wished anyone to be dead, but I wished Peter pain, despair and death right now._

"Anwen!" Sirius said shocked. I just looked at him, knowing my face was hard. Sirius was usually the one who was all for action first, thinking later; but in the case of Peter Pettigrew, I didn't care what might be just.

"Sirius, look at all that he ruined. Look at the lives that he destroyed. It's not just the death of the Potters. Remus is gravely ill and a second attack by a werewolf? If it gets out, they'll throw him in Azkaban with no hope of ever being free. The public would assume that he's flesh crazed now all the time. Those damned laws that the Wizengamot has pushed through..." I shook my head in anger. "I wouldn't be surprised if Peter had ratted out Eva as well. She never would have been able to live under the statutes for "near humans". She would have lost her job because she wouldn't be allowed to speak to Wizarding folk. Peter destroyed a family that had accepted him and would have protected him. He doesn't deserve anything but the infliction of as much pain as he caused."

"Anwen, I agree," Sirius told me quietly, and I could see the anger behind his eyes. "Let's not talk about this any more. Tell me more about the potion. I think that you're on to something there."

"Okay, Ewan was eventually confident enough in the potion that he gave it to himself. He brewed up some lethal potions and drank them, and apart from a rather nasty stomach ache, nothing happened. He had us try to stab him, which while disturbing, did nothing as well. We did everything short of the killing curse, and always, Ewan was fine. I couldn't believe that he would test it on himself, but he said that he had confidence in his own skill. He was a little cocky if you ask me," I told him.

"Winnie, do you think that there is a chance that James, Lily and Harry are still alive somewhere?" He asked me tentatively.

"I have been thinking about that a lot. I'm not sure, but my gut is telling me yes. When I get back, I will need to do some investigation. I got the feeling that there may be quite a few things that Dumbledore wasn't telling me, probably because he was afraid that I would fall apart from the stress. His word choices when he spoke to me were odd as well. He said things like, 'No longer with us' instead of dead and he inferred that things didn't go as planned. He always has chosen his words very carefully. I also need to talk with Remus, his memory should be back now."

"So, you're going back soon?"

"I'll stay until tomorrow, but I do need to get back. Remus is alone. In addition, it sounds as if there is so much work to do. We don't even know what is going on with the hunt for Voldemort. I need to get back, if for no other reason than to get better information. I promise I will be back to visit as often as I can," I said, reaching up to kiss him, but he turned away from me. "Sirius, the sooner that I solve this, figure out what is going on, the sooner I can get you home with me; and that is the ultimate goal, love," he smiled at this, and leaned down to kiss me.

The rest of the day and the night passed in much the same way, drained of our energy, we would simply sit and talk, or dissolve into tears again or find comfort in the embrace of the other. I hated leaving him, leaving the comfort of this place, leaving the comfort of his embrace. Sirius had changed the charm on the ring so that it would act as a two way portkey. We stood in our bedroom, barely able to speak.

"I'll be back when I can, I promise love. Let me check on Remus and get some answers, and then I will be back, I swear to it. I'll Patronus when I can as well, they are untraceable," my fingers were frantically tracing his face, as if I needed to remember it, remember the feel of it. "It won't be long, it can't be," he nodded, his face still looked broken, and to be honest, I was filled with fear at leaving him here with his demons. "I love you, forever," I whispered before I kissed him. I could feel myself getting lost in the kiss, and I knew if I didn't break it, I would struggle to get myself away. "I love you. Keep yourself safe. I will be back," I raised my wand and touched the ring, "portus" I whispered, and I saw his face contort as the light swirled around me. I landed in the bedroom of our house in London, and crawled over the mess and flung myself on our bed and wept until I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I spent a few hours cleaning the house. There was a great mess, but the damage was minimal. There were a few things broken beyond repair, but nothing of great significance, thankfully. Once the house was in a livable condition, I changed into my work robes and I went to the back yard and apparated to Hogwarts to check on Remus and to get whatever information Dumbledore might have. The headmaster must have seen me coming up the walk, since he met me at the front door. Things seemed oddly jubilant inside the school, and I questioned him about it.

"Up in my office, Anwen. There are a many, many things that you need to know," I nodded at him.

"How is Remus now?" I asked him as we climbed the great staircase of the castle.

"Improving. He has been worried about you, and I believe that seeing you will give him some much needed comfort," he told me, we reached the statue that guarded the door to his office. "Butterscotch Creams," and the stone creature moved aside, granting us passage. Once we were inside, the headmaster pointed toward a chair and I sat, as he sat down behind is desk.

"First things first, did you find Sirius?" he asked me.

"Yes, he was where I expected him to be. I can tell you that he's out of the country, and safe. I don't believe that there is any way that he can be traced there."

"Good, that is one less thing to worry about. Now, have you been back to the Ministry?" He asked looking as if he was trying to put together a mental puzzle.

"No, I went to our house in London when I arrived back from ..." and I froze again. _Damn spell._ "from where I was and cleaned it up and then came straight here. Why? What aren't you telling me?"

"A plethora of things, my dear, but I will share them all with you. I wasn't sure what you might have learned along the way. Most importantly, Voldemort is gone," as he said this, he didn't really seem happy, more concerned. A smile flitted across my face.

"Gone!" I said excitedly. "How is he gone? What does gone mean? What happened? When did it happen? Who did it?" I said, in quick succession.

"Anwen, relax and I will you what I've deduced. There are a few holes, which I hope you may be able to help me with." I nodded at him. "Voldemort went to the safe house that we had James, Lily and Harry in. It was an old Potter family house in Godric's Hollow, unused for decades. James only had the slightest memory of ever being there as a young child. It belonged to his maternal grandmother's family.

"As we now know, Peter was made the secret keeper. I watched me memory of the decision to make Peter the secret keeper through Remus' mind. I was an ingenious plan, making the least likely the secret keeper, and it would have worked had he not been a double agent. Peter then betrayed them to Voldemort," I could feel my hands clench as he said this, I hated Peter more than I had hated anyone in my life.

"I knew that James and Lily had used Ewan's binding potion, and they were bound to each other as well as Harry. When Voldemort used the killing curse on them, the spell didn't work the way that it was supposed to." _What does that mean? _ My face must have given away my thoughts because Dumbledore smiled at me and continued.

"Anwen, the potion worked." _Wait, what did he just say? If the potion worked then...they weren't dead. _ My head was racing, I realized that Dumbledore was speaking again before I could say anything "...and it had an added benefit. Ewan always believed that love, true love, would make the potion stronger, and that it did. When Voldemort tried to curse each one of them, the waves of magic rebounded on him, and with each successive curse, he became weaker and weaker, finally, when he tried to kill Harry, his soul was ripped from his body."

"Wa...Wa...Wait," I stammered, "let me understand what you are saying. First and most importantly, James, Lily and Harry are not dead, correct?" I asked, hope filling my voice.

"Yes, they are alive. The were knocked out from the curse, but they are all fine and alive. They have been moved again, and are all safe. They are eager to see you, Sirius and Remus as well," happy tears flowed from my face, _most of my adopted family was safe. The only one we didn't know about was Eva. Dear God, please let her have just fled and not been killed._

"If they are alive, then I can bring Sirius home right, there is no reason to believe that he betrayed them if they're alive?" I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Anwen, they're still in hiding. There are still many, well most, of the loyal Death Eaters out there, and the Potters are still marked. If any of them knew that they were alive, they would still be in grave danger. Their death has given them the ultimate protection," I nodded at him, knowing that he was right, _it should only be a little while for us to be able to catch the Death Eaters now._ "Furthermore, Sirius is still believed to have betrayed them, and that is a punishable crime. We have no evidence to the contrary."

"What about Remus' memories? They prove that it wasn't him."

"Anwen, while they are proof, the stronger proof is the listing in the Department of Mysteries. Until we can prove that the list is wrong, the memory does us no good; memories can be tampered with, and are not considered conclusive evidence," I nodded at him, I knew this from my legal work at the Ministry as of late. "Additionally, given Remus condition and the second attack, I think that we should shield him from Ministry involvement." _He was right, and I knew it. If the order to catch Remus came through the Auror department, I could stall or at least get him hidden, but then my career would be at risk. If it came through any of the other law enforcement sections, I'd have no access to it. I hated that I'd be leaving Sirius in Greece longer, but if it kept him and Remus safe, then it was the best choice._

"All right, I understand," I regretfully acquiesced. "I'll be able to see my family through? I mean, Remus and I can go?"

"Yes, but for the time being, the three of us will be the only people who know. I need the world to believe that Voldemort succeeded in killing them, to keep them safe."

"Okay, so, what happened to Voldemort? What exactly is left of him?"

"That is a difficult question to answer. We found some residue, for lack of a better word, of his body, but I don't believe that he is completely dead. We have a spy within the ranks of his most trusted followers, and they believe that his soul is no longer within his body. From the evidence that I was presented, I agree with them. Apparently, some of them have see the small, frail form that was once Voldemort. It would seem that he sent certain members of his inner circle on some rather important missions after his disastrous attack on the house in Godric's Hollow. One of them being Peter Pettigrew. Hagrid saw him coming toward the house, and then there was nothing. Sirius disappeared at about the same time. Do you know anything about those missing minutes."

"Yes," I said, trying to figure out just how much I could tell Dumbledore. "Sirius told me all about his experiences at the house that day. He saw Peter coming toward the house, and he went to intercept him, when something happened, and it became difficult to do so," I waited for the question that I knew would follow.

"What exactly happened?" he asked me, just as I thought he would.

"Sir, Peter is an Animagus."

"Are you certain?" I grimaced at the question. I didn't want to have to sell the others out, so I decided to lie.

"Yes, sir. He told me when I was registered," I said, hoping that he would believe me.

"Anwen, we both know that Peter couldn't have figured that magic out on his own. He was never that good at his spell work. Can I assume that you know who taught him?" I sighed before I answered.

"Please don't be upset at them, but both James and Sirius are as well. James becomes a stag, Sirius becomes a great black dog and Peter, well, he's a rat. There is an astounding level of irony there," I said rolling my eyes. Dumbledore smiled at me. "They're all unregistered, obviously. They did it so they could help Remus at his changes," I said rather sheepishly. He looked at me with understanding, and a bit of respect at the lengths the young men had gone to for their friends.

"Anwen, how long has this been going on?"

"I believe that they started the magic in their second year, but it took them another year to gain the necessary control. Mr. Potter had started them on the training, well at least James and Sirius anyway. When I mastered the skill in my fifth year, they shared the story with me. Please, don't be upset at them. Their hearts were in the right place. I've tried to get them to register, but they preferred to have their Animagus identities be hidden."

"That is quite something. To have done it so you. Andrew Potter was one himself, became a large owl if I remember correctly," he looked off into the distance as he talked.

"You're remembering correctly, sir. I had the pleasure to fly with him once, a few days before James and Lily's wedding. He took sick not long after and..." I stopped to take a deep breath. "He'd wished the boys had registered as well."

"That would have been prudent. We will deal with that oversight at another time. Back to what Sirius saw at the house the next day."

"Yes, sir. Anyway, Sirius went to intercept Peter, but he changed into his Animagus form and went into the house. A few minutes later, Peter emerged with a wand between his teeth. Sirius didn't recognize the wand, so it was probably Voldemort's. He followed him down the street, Peter changed back, and when he was getting ready to apparate, Sirius tagged along on the ride. There was an altercation when they re-materialized. Sirius once human, lost his temper and hit Peter, knocking him out. Peter had told him how the listing in the Ministry would implicate him. When he realized that he was going to be blamed, he headed for the safe house he had set up. He had created it in case the Death Eaters should ever come after me again. That's where I found him."

"I see," he sat quietly in thought for a moment. "Anwen, I need to ponder a few things here, but I do want to take you to see James and Lily presently. You however, need to get to the Ministry and make an appearance; they are going to want to question you, your fiancée is a wanted man. It would seem that the spell that you are under will keep you from diverging anything. I just hope that they don't use _Legilimens_ or Veritaserum on you. Even if you can't tell them where Sirius is, you know too much."

"I realize that sir. My Occlumency skills are very strong, I can keep Alastor out of my mind with little work. You're the only one that I can't block anymore. I have my phial of Veritas antidote as well. If I have to use it, I can get Lily to brew me more so that no one is the wiser. It's all in my little purse here."

"You're the epitome of prepared, my dear girl. What ever story you use about Sirius, make sure that it's simple. You're going to have to repeat it many times over the next few weeks. I would also be prepared to be called before the full Wizengamot, to give testimony in this matter."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I said, not feeling all that confident at the moment. _I am really not good at lying, really lying. I guess I had better get good at it, and right soon. Maybe I should just think of it as a part that I have to play?_ I sighed aloud, and then gave Dumbledore a small smile. He returned it. "Um, if its all right, I think I will go and look in on Remus, as long as you don't mind?"

"I think that is a capital idea. Let him know that he'll be going home later today; since you are here to take care of him now, he may return to your London home. The Manor has been secured again, but I have Blood Warded it, and for the time being, I don't think that any of us should go there."

"I understand. It's fine, Remus and I will be safe in the London house. Sirius and James added more Wards, and it's quite safe now. I'll be back in a few minutes. Thank you sir. Thank you for everything, but especially for believing that Sirius didn't do this," he smiled at me, and then again his face was taut with thought. I turned and ran upstairs, I needed Remus to know that our family was safe, and alive.

When I arrived in the hospital wing, he was sitting up and the privacy screens had been shifted aside. His face broke into a great smile when he saw me, and I ran over to him, embracing him tightly. He seemed a little surprised by my embrace, but I held it.

"Remus, you can't react to what I am going to tell you, it's a complete secret. James, Lily and Harry are alive, they are in another safe house, we'll go see them tonight. If you understand me completely, give me a little squeeze," I felt him squeeze my waist and I smiled. "We can see them later, but I can't say any more of this. Just agree with anything else I say," he nodded against me, and I released him, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"You're looking much better than the last time I saw you. Are you feeling better?" I asked him, trying to act natural.

"Um, yes," he said, his eyes dancing. "Have you been to the house?"

"I was there for a few minutes. Both of the dogs are okay," I said, hoping that he would catch my message. _I didn't see Molly while I was there. The last time I saw her, she was at the Manor. I do hope that she's all right?_

"Good, I was concerned that they wouldn't have been fed while I was away."

"Fed, watered and in good shape. Padfoot was especially happy to see me," he nodded. "I can't stay long, I need to go in to the Ministry. They have some questions to ask me about my MIA fiancée. Right now, he should be far more worried about me, than about the Aurors that are tracking him. Hell hath no fury and all that," I said, adding a wink. I wasn't sure if we were being listened to, so I thought it was best to keep up the charade of my being angry with him.

"Well, um, when you are done, can you come back? Madame Pomfrey came over, just before you came in, to tell me that I would be allowed to go back to London today. Will you make sure I get home okay?"

"Of course my friend. I guess that we'll have some arrangements to make. We can talk more when I get back, but for now, I need to go and assist the people looking for that man I was to marry," I almost laughed at the idea. I looked away from Remus to regain my composure. I stood and kissed his cheek. "I promise to explain everything, just pretend your still sad while you are here. We're all fine," I whispered in his ear. "I'll be back later," I said, standing and turning to leave. I waved at the school nurse as I walked out, and again bounded to Dumbledore's office. The statue was still turned aside when I reached the entrance to his office.

"Sir," I said as I knocked and he motioned me in. "Remus is happier now, and glad that we will be going home. Is there anything else that I should know before I put in my appearance at the Ministry?"

"Yes, Before Voldemort went after the Potters, he had Bellatrix Lestrange pay another visit to the Longbottoms. They didn't fare as well. Alice and Frank are both in St. Mungo's, they have been severely cursed, and are still in comas. The healers are cautious right now," I suddenly felt saddened. _My friends had been left unprotected, even though we could have helped them too. _Guilt washed over me.

"Anwen, you couldn't protect everyone. The potion protected against death, not against insanity. I thought that we had made them as safe as we could, but it would seem that I was wrong. Please don't trouble yourself on this matter right now. You need to go and hide Sirius' whereabouts as best as you can." I nodded at him, and tried to focus my mind. "Go ahead and floo from here, and then return the same way. I connected this fireplace, but it's a private connection. No one will know where you came from," I nodded at him, and grabbed a handful of the powder from the mantle. I watched as the headmaster dissolved in green flames, and the lobby of the Ministry appeared.

I went to my office immediately, and was assaulted by half the senior staff within moments. The worst was Cornelius Fudge. He was apparently put in charge of the hunt for Sirius, and started interrogating me as I entered the office. _He's not even an Auror, what is he doing working on this case? He's over in Magical Accidents and Catastrophes? This doesn't qualify as either. _ I was never really impressed with him before, he seemed a little disorganized and far to willing to suck up to people who he perceived as having power for my taste. Thankfully, Kingsley Shaklebolt came along rescued me.

"Cornelius, there will be time for that. Give the girl a chance to come into the office and get herself together. Clearly, she doesn't know where he is, or she would be with him or bringing him herself. She is still wearing the engagement ring after all. They were to be wed two days ago," he said pulling me aside and leading me toward my desk area. He stood over me and whispered. "Dumbledore has told me everything, just follow my lead, dear," I smiled up at him. He was several years older than me, I guessed that he went to school with Frank and Alice. I had heard rumors that he was friendly with Dumbledore, and was nearly ready to join the Order before I was sent to Canada with Ewan.

"Why don't you gather your thoughts, check your desk for messages, and meet us in the conference room in about ten minutes," he said loudly; we reached my desk and he quietly added, "put up that infamous bubble of yours so no one can use Legilimency against you? I will make sure that they don't try anything else. Oh, and some tears will go a long way in there, no one wants to see a crying Auror," he smiled down and me and I couldn't help but return it.

I checked the messages on my desk, and I saw that I had received a message from Ewan. I grabbed the parchment and stuck it in my pocket, I was supposed to be away on my honeymoon this week, so no one was expecting me to be here. It reduced the paperwork that would have otherwise greeted me upon my return. I took a deep breath, and pictured my mind as an open door, I then closed the door, and built a brick wall around it, and surrounded it with a bubble.

I took another deep breath, and grabbed my bag and headed to the conference room. Most of the Senior Aurors were in the room already, and there was only one open seat, thankfully, next to Kingsley. I quickly thought about the wedding that wasn't, and the sadness that filled me while I was in Greece, and tears came near to the surface. I would be able to call them if needed. _I hated being seen as a weak girl, but in this case, it might serve me well._

"Auror Hodgson, did you see Sirius Black when you returned from Canada?" Fudge started in at me before my bottom hit the chair.

"No," I knew enough from doing my own interrogations that short answers were better.

"Did you know that he was to be the secret keeper for the Potter Family?" Head Auror Roberts asked me, much more politely than Fudge had.

"No sir."

"Why didn't you know?" he followed up.

"The plans were made after I had left to take Ewan duChamp to Canada," he nodded at me. I was sure that he had already spoken with both Dumbledore and Remus; he was checking my story.

"What can you tell us about that day?" he asked me, and I recounted my day from the time that Sirius awoke me until I boarded the train with Ewan. From that point on they had my official reports that I had sent home on my mission with the Potions Master.

"One question; we went to meet you at the airport when your flight was to arrive. None of the Aurors could find you. Where were you?" Fudge interjected with a sneer in his voice.

"Sir, I had believed that there someone had been feeding Voldemort information, possibly for years. Due to this, I was concerned for my safety and chose to purchase my own ticket and fly home on a different flight."

"It turns out that your fears were well founded. When we arrived at the airport, we ran into the Lestranges. They were your greeting party apparently. They slipped away from us however," Kingsley said in a calm voice. I nodded at him. _I was right. The only reason I wasn't attacked was because no one knew where I was._ The Senior Aurors started talking among themselves and I took the opportunity to look at the magic in the room. A man I didn't know was sitting at the table next to Alastor, his magic didn't look normal to me. Instead of the usual cloud that usually existed over someone's head, his looked like a great hand that was stretched out toward me. _ He must be trying to get into my mind. I checked my bubble, and it was holding strong. I need to ask Moody about him, the next time that we are alone._

"Where have you been then for the last few days?" Auror Roberts continued.

"When I arrived back in London, I went to our house, and found it in great disarray, like there had been a struggle there. I did some investigative work, and there were magical residues from both Bellatrix Lestrange and Sirius. I think that they must have dueled in the house at some point while I was away. I was also quite concerned about Remus Lupin. Our roommate was missing, and the only other place that he would ever stay had been destroyed." I could see people digesting the idea that Sirius and Bella had fought in our house. _It was only a sort of lie. They needed that information too, and it was plausible._

"From there I went to Hogwarts; Dumbledore had been in charge of hiding Lily and James and Harry. I needed to see them, they were the whole wedding party, and I hoped that Sirius would indeed be with them. I was told however, the awful news that they had been killed by Voldemort," _My wedding dress and Sirius in his robes and the setting sun,_ and tears came to my eyes. I swallowed hard. "The Headmaster also told me of his suspicions about Sirius, and where Mr. Lupin had gone to grieve. I lost it in his office, and he gave me a potion to calm me. I stayed at the castle for a while, and went to see Remus," I stopped there; I would let them ask me for more details. Everyone was quiet for a moment. _They are trying to figure out how to ask me, in the most delicate was possible, if I thought that my fiancée was capable of betraying his and my best friends._

"Anwen," it was Kingsley who spoke up, "I know that there are conflicting reports whom the secret keeper was. We have one record here at the Ministry, but Mr. Lupin remembers with complete certainty that it was someone else. Do you think that it was Sirius?" _Good job wording that sir._

"No, I believe that it was Peter Pettigrew. Sirius would have died rather than give up his friends. James was like a brother to him, and he loved Harry as if he was his own child. I know him, he would have never betrayed them. I am sure of it," I wasn't lying; I never believed that he had done it.

"That is all well and good, but there is still time missing. Where have you been for the last few days?" Fudge was loosing his temper. _How does he ever do interrogations? You have to be more patient than the criminals. Time for the waterworks, wedding, beautiful vows, singing to the mermaids for my husband. _"With all due respect, my fiancée was accused of setting up the murder of my best friend, her husband and their child. I wasn't exactly in any condition to be chatting with people," I said, tears falling down my face and my voice getting irritated. _ Maybe I shouldn't have given up the acting._ "When I wasn't grieving with Mr. Lupin, I went to places that I thought Sirius might be. I obviously had no luck, since I am not married yet. I cried through what was to be my wedding day, sir," I swallowed hard and buried my face in my hands. I took several deep breaths, as if I was steadying myself. The room was silent, save the uncomfortable shifting of people within their chairs.

"This has obviously been traumatic for you, so I only have one more question for you," Kingsley was speaking again. I raised my head and looked at him. "Can you tell us where Sirius is?" _clearly, he knows everything Dumbledore knew, because that question was too perfect._

"No, I cannot," I laid my head down again, and pretended to sob.

"Why don't we leave her alone for now?" The Head Auror said; I breathed in deeply, thankful for his not pushing this. "I think that we should take into account what she has said here, perhaps the list in the Department of Mysteries has indeed been corrupted. Moody will you go and have a look at it?" I heard Moody grunt, and I was thankful that it was him, he was more thorough than anyone. "Miss Hodgson, um, take as much time as you need in here. When you are ready to return to work, we can use you, we are short a few Aurors right now."

I raised my head and wiped the tears from my face. "Sir, I'll be back tomorrow. I believe in Sirius' innocence. The sooner I clear his name, the sooner I bring Peter in, the sooner I can wed my fiancée." There was a calm resolve to my voice. I had nothing to fear in my statement, it was the honest truth of my heart.

"Well, then, we will be in a race to see who can bring the guilty party in first, since I believe that it was indeed Sirius Black who betrayed his friends to he who must not be named," Fudge said standing up. _Idiot._

"May the truth be the precursor of justice then," I said sternly. Everyone else filed out of the room, and I was left with Kingsley. When we were alone, I waved my hand to throw up a silencing charm on the door.

"They've made you and I partners, since Frank is well...he won't be back to work any time soon. You had been working alone for the last year, and we were the only ones without partners. I think that they want me to pump you for information," he said smiling with understanding, I returned it. "Good job back there. I knew you had been in the theater, but you were very convincing," I think I blushed at him.

"Thanks. How are Frank and Alice?"

"Not good. Honestly, I don't think that they will ever be back. There...isn't...they aren't there Anwen. Their minds have gone completely," he sighed. I knew that he and Frank had been close. I reached over and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so sorry. I know that you and Frank have been close for years. You were friends at school?" He nodded. "Poor little Neville. Where is he now?"

"His grandmother has taken him in. She'll raise him well," we sat in the quiet for a moment. "I should be the one comforting you. You were very close with Lily and James."

"I've pushed it from my mind. It's just too much to deal with. I need Sirius home. I'll grieve with him, when we are finally together," _I'm not really lying here._ I let out a deep sigh and asked him, "Do you know anything else about Voldemort or the Death Eaters?"

"Everything I know, Moody knows, and therefore, Dumbledore knows," I nodded at him. "Anyone in particular you want to catch?"

"You mean, besides Peter," he nodded. "I would love to get my hands on the Lestranges. They were behind my attack two years ago in Hogsmeade, and they have been after Sirius and I since then. She is crazy and I** really **don't like her!" I said. He smiled at me. "Furthermore, I was working on bringing down the Malfoy's through their bank accounts before I left for Canada. He's quite twisted in his own right, and he was the one that..." I hated thinking about that day in Hogsmeade, but it wasn't ever that far from my mind. "Has there been any progress on that front?"

"Not really. We are meeting some resistance from within the department. Things are moving slowly, it takes forever to get the right paperwork completed, and then when we finally do, the money has been moved and we have to start all again," he said, sounding a little frustrated.

"Sounds like there is an informant in the office. Let's concentrate on Peter and Sirius' whack job cousin and then turn our attention back to Malfoy. If he thinks we've stopped trying to get him, he might get sloppy," I surmised.

"You know, I like the way your mind works. Have any other questions?"

"Yes, Who was the guy next to Moody? I didn't recognize him, but he was trying to get into my mind."

"Rufus somebody. He's only just back in the country. He's been part of the diplomatic service core for the last few years. Wait, how did you know what he was doing?" he said in a deep, soothing baritone.

"I'm sorry, there are so few that know my secret, but those closest to me always have. Kingsley, I'm a projecting visualist. I can see peoples magic, conjure things, do wand-less magic. I'm really good at Transfigurations and an Animagus."

"Wow. I think I just ended up with the best partner in the department," I smiled at him. "Come on, let's go do some work, and then you can head home. I understand that Remus is well enough to leave the hospital wing."

"Yes, I can take him back to London tonight. Please, don't say anything about his attack. The new werewolf laws are hard enough on him; having sustained a second set of bites would give the Ministry the right to put him away, forever."

"Anwen, I like Remus. I knew him when he was a kid at school, and while I didn't know what it was that made him different at the time, I knew that he was carrying a great weight with him. When I did find out, I was impressed at your group of friends and how they rallied around him. Delores Umbridge and her new laws can just go suck a lemon for all I care. They're stupid and hateful rules, especially for someone like Remus, who has never done anything to anyone." A tear pricked at the corner of my eye as he spoke.

"Thank you," I said not only for myself, but for Remus. "He'll be touched to know that you think of him like that. Most people don't realize just how gentle he is. Come on, if we're in here too long, people will get suspicious."

We left the conference room, and went over to Kingsley's desk. Mine had magically been moved to across from his, but everything seemed to be in order. Thankfully, all of my personal things were in my purse, which I kept on me always. _I don't trust Fudge as far as I can throw him, and if there is someone working against the department in the department, I really need to be careful._

We went over everything that we knew about the Lestranges, and decided that we would raid their home the next morning, early. Kingsley would walk the paperwork through himself tonight, making sure that no one knew about it that except those that must know. We had at least fourteen verified acts of torture recorded against each of them, including the use of Unforgivable curses, the foremost of which was what they'd done to Frank and Alice. There were also several counts of Murder and Attempted Murder. We could arrest them and send them to Azkaban right away.

"How did you end up in charge of the Longbottom case? Wouldn't they have deemed you too close?" I asked.

"I fought hard for it," he explained. "What they did to my partner and Alice, it was unspeakable. She wasn't even working anymore. She'd decided that she wanted to stay home with the baby for a few years, maybe even have another child. No one ever deserves to be treated that way. I will bring in the people who hurt them, so that when Neville is older, I can look him in the eye and hope that he forgives me for not protecting his Mum and Dad better when I had the chance." I understood the guilt that Kingsley had put himself under, for I felt the same thing. I was so concerned about protecting Lily, James and Harry and planning my wedding that I left my other friends without adequate security. It wasn't something that I would ever do again.

"Alright then, let's get to work."

After a few more hours, and a mountain of paperwork, I left the Ministry of Magic, transforming my appearance before I entered the lobby so that I was sure I would be left alone. I walked to one of the fireplaces and flooed myself back to Dumbledore's office. He barely looked up when I entered, instead studying the charts and maps on his desk.

"Everything go all right?"

"Yes, sir, I can block my mind well. Thanks for giving Kingsley the heads up on everything. He made the whole process a lot smoother, and we ended up paired with each other. Cornelius Fudge is in charge of the hunt for Sirius, I am sure that he is hoping to make his career on it. I gave them nothing useful, but I did insist that Sirius was innocent, and that we needed to catch Peter. Kingsley and I are going to be working on that."

"The two of you should have a good working relationship. You will compliment each other well. Now, shall we go upstairs and get your friend so that we can take our little excursion?"

"Yes, sir, I would very much like that. I could use a distraction right about now."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26:**

**Shattered**

**August 1985**

**Sirius POV:**

_She'll be here soon, and this time she can stay for a while. I'm beginning to wonder if it matters anymore. This isn't working for either of us, her running here when she gets time; me sitting here, waiting for her. _I was sitting on the patio, a large glass of wine in my hands, again. _She would have a fit if she knew how I spent my days. When we first started this, I tried to get out and do things. I read books, visited places, got involved in life. My Greek finally got to the point that I could converse with the neighbors. Then I realized that I had nothing to say to them, so I just stopped going out. Now, I spend my days here, in this bright sunny prison, thinking...and drinking just enough to dull the pain. I don't want to become the angry drunk that my father was, I just don't want to feel this anymore. The only antidote for the pain is my sweet Anwen, and she seems farther away all the time._

_Sometimes I wonder if she ever wants to be here, really. I will catch her, sitting, staring off into space when she doesn't think that I'm watching. Her face is placid and still, but there is anger behind her eyes; like whatever is passing through her mind is ripping her apart. I've tried to ask her about it, but she just brushes me off, tells me it's nothing. But, she's changed. There is a hardness to my little one that seems foreign. Any free moment that she has, she's pouring over parchment, half of it not in English. She's always doing work._

_I was so proud of her when she became an Auror, but now I hate it. More than once, she's gotten an idea or something has struck her, and she has to rush off and write herself some note or other, regardless of what we were doing. She's even left me to go and take care of some business. If she'd just leave that job, she could stay here with me. That's what I want, her to stay. It's not like she needs to work, we've got everything that we'll ever need. _

_Okay man, you have to stop it. You have no right to ask her to leave something that she has worked so hard for, and when push came to shove, she would choose me over her job, wouldn't she?_

_What are we going to do? What am I going to do? I can't keep living like this. I can't hide here in Greece while her life and the life of our friends goes on. Will I even have a place when I get back? Has the circle closed so much that they won't need me when I return? What if I don't ever return? Can Anwen and I survive like this?_ I drained my glass and went to pour more, but nothing would come out. _Damn, I emptied it, I was going to use it for dinner tonight. Guess I'll have to go get more._ I stood up and walked through the apartment, taking the empty bottle with me. I threw it out and headed for the door.

Out on the street the sunlight assaulted me. The patio had been in the shade, but now, I was being hit full on, and it hurt my eyes and my head. Two very beautiful women passed me on the street. I smiled politely at them, but the smiles they returned were anything but polite, the one licking her lips. _There was a time when having beautiful women openly flirt with me would have delighted me. Now, I don't know. Anwen knows it happens, and it never goes any further, but it happens all the time . It's just hard, knowing that it would be so easy to take the easy path and satiate my urges. Anwen would never know._

_What are you thinking? Get your head together man. _I went into the store and got what I needed and went to pay for it. I struck up a polite conversation with the clerk, she had gotten to know me over the years, and she was pleasant enough. She's the owner's daughter, and for lack of anything better to say, she is stunning. _ If I wasn't engaged, or as everyone here thinks, married. _ I sighed in my head and turned and went home. Anwen would be here soon, and she had planned an evening out for us. Maybe that was just what we needed, something different. Maybe I just wanted my little one to make things better for me, again.

Anwen had arrived, and with her presence, my mood had lifted as well. _She's talking away in there, but I honestly have no idea what she's saying._ I was lost in the wonder of watching her, moving around the small kitchen. The windows and doors to the patio were thrown open, letting the thick, warm summer air in. _She is so beautiful._ I walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing behind her ears. Her hair was short now, and asymmetrical, and it exposed her neck to me. _ I wasn't happy when she cut off all of her long hair, but this cut was growing on me. She said it was fashionable and helpful when she was 'out and about for work'._

"Sirius, stop it, we are going out tonight, and we need to eat before we go..." she stopped to catch her breath as my tongue danced along her earlobe "...and if we are going to go, I need to get dinner on."

"We don't have to go out. We could just stay here..." I whispered in her ear.

"Sirius, there will be time for that as well. I'm on holiday for an entire week, and I am supposed to be touring. It would be nice if I could actually tell people that I did something while I was gone. Anyway, I am looking forward to the Symphony tonight," I knew that she was, and I had seen the dress that she brought to wear, it was one of my favorites. I released her waist and let her go back to working on our evening meal. _The time when she is here passes so quickly, and then time slows to a crawl when she is gone. _I hopped up on the kitchen island across from her and watched her nimble fingers command the magic that was making our dinner.

"As I was saying, Fudge is still convinced that it was you that betrayed James and Lily. Moody swore there was magical tampering evident on the parchment listing – but he wouldn't believe him. We have the memories of at least three Death Eaters who claim Peter was in the inner circle, but he still won't budge. Roberts was ready to send him back to accidents and catastrophes before he took ill. Fudge is a certifiable idiot, and now he's going to be the head of all magical law enforcement. I thought that Barty Crouch was bad, Fudge is worse. It's been four years. Four effing long years. Hell, when I brought Bella in, she was screaming at me, trying to curse me, which was hilarious because they kept bouncing off of me and back onto her. Even she was appalled at the idea that you would have been a follower. Claimed that you lacked the backbone, I just smiled sweetly at her."

"She must have hated that it was you that caught her," I smiled at her, popping a fig from the basket on the island into my mouth.

"Oh yeah; to have the Muggle born Auror fiancée of the black sheep of the Black family be the one that brought her in, I really think that it must have been the inner circle of hell for her," she smiled at the memories. "She called me a bitch, which I thanked her for, and reminded her that I was the bitch that was putting her in prison. I punched her too, broke her pretty little pure blood nose, which bled her perfect pure blood all over her. I've never seen anyone so angry. She gave us Peter too, and I warned the team that went to get him that they would need to stun him, then body bind and break his wand, but did anyone listen to me...noooooo. Fudge said he wasn't dangerous. He slipped out of custody within thirty minutes of removing the body binding," she was done cutting things and came over to me, standing herself between my legs, wrapping her arms around me. "I just want you to come home. I want to marry you and sleep in your arms every night. It's so lonely there...Harry misses you too," she leaned her head on my chest.

"I want that too. If they don't catch Peter soon, I should just come home and face a trial. I am so tired of being here, all alone," _it isn't home. _

"I know, but if you came back to England, you would be cooped up inside all day, and we wouldn't be able to see each other often anyway; they'd be watching my every move. You're better off here, you've at least got a life here. With most of the Death Eaters rounded up, I should be able to get away more often; then once Peter is caught and safely in Azkaban, you can come home," she sighed. _We are both beginning to wonder if that is ever going to happen. _I slid off the counter and wrapped my arms around her. We stood there, holding each other, until the buzzer on the stove went off. Anwen broke away from me.

"Come on then, let's eat, we have to get into Athens for the concert tonight," she said, taking my hand and leading me to the table. "Can you open the wine?" I nodded at her as she walked over to get the pots from the stove. She drained the pasta and dished up my favorite meal. Conversation flowed over dinner, and she caught me up on everything that was happening with our friends back in England.

"You wouldn't believe how well Harry flies, already. I think that Lily's concerned that he will hurt himself, but honestly, I have never seen anyone fly like that. He puts his father to shame already," she smiled at me.

"I'm glad. I can't believe that I've missed so many birthday's and Christmases. He isn't going to know who I am when I get back," I said glumly.

"He knows who you are. We've all shared memories with him, and he has the pictures that I bring back, and all the presents you send as well as your letters. He knows his Uncle Sirius," she reached over and took my hands "and he knows that Aunt Winnie loves Uncle Sirius so very, very much and that one day we are all going to be a family again," she sighed. "Remember, they're still in hiding as well. The only people who know that the Potter Family are alive are Remus, Albus and I."

"When did you start calling him Albus?" I asked her, surprised at this turn of events.

"He essentially told me that since I was no longer a student, and I had been one for quite a while, I really had no business calling him Professor anymore. 'Albus is my name, and that is what you should be calling me Anwen'" she said, in a dead on impersonation of him. I laughed at her, she giggled back. Even at twenty-two, there were times that I could still see the little girl in her. I leaned over and kissed her passionately. We ate for a few more minutes, until she dropped her fork.

"Oh, I haven't told you my big news. I bought my parents old farm," she said smiling brightly at me.

"What? When? How?"

"It turns out that as part of the reparations for their crimes, the Lestrange's house and estate were liquidated and given to the people that they knew they had cursed or tortured; or to the families of those that they had killed. I was in the group that received money. I really didn't want it, but I didn't have much choice in taking it. I thought about donating it, but then I couldn't figure out where. Anyway, one day Remus and I were driving to the safe house where Lily, James and Harry are, and I realized that we were driving past the turn off for the farm. The two houses are very close, I just didn't realize until we were driving, since you have no sense of space when you Apparate," she stopped to take a sip of her wine. "Well, anyway, we drove down, and no one was living there, it was in essentially the same state it was when we were there the night after the attack. The next day I inquired, it was for sale, and it was cheap. So, I bought it. Remus and I have gotten the house repaired, and we spend some time out there. It's lovely, and Harry even has his own room, well, he uses one of my brothers rooms. We're converting the barn now, into a Potions lab on the lower level, and an apartment for Remus up top. It's a good place for him, when he's all furry and such," she said smiling at me.

"I can't wait to see it." I said smiling at her. _She's done so much without me. She has a career, and now her own home. What if I never go back? What if this is all we have, forever; stolen weekends and holidays. This isn't what either of us want. I need more..._

"Hey, where did you go there?" she said, questioning me, stroking my face.

"Nowhere important. So, have you been in touch with your family?" I asked her as she got up to clear the table from dinner.

"Yeah, everyone is well, they really seem to like Canada. Ma keeps pestering me about when our wedding is going to be. I keep giving her excuses, but I think that they are starting to get old," she said sounding sad. _At least this is getting to her as well._ The air in the room was suddenly close and tight and neither of us knew what to say.

"Um, well, let's get ready. We've got a hot date tonight," she said, trying to sound excited, but I could tell she really wasn't.

"I always have a hot date when I am with you," I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her, she smiled and rolled her eyes.

"That's the Marauder that I fell in love with," she whispered as she took my hand.

As we dressed for the Symphony, I watched her put on her make up and do her hair, and was fascinated with the way that she moved. She noticed my staring and looked at me.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked me, coming and wrapping herself in my arms.

"You amaze me. Watching you move, I miss having your grace around me. I love you so," I said to her, knowing my sadness was coming through my voice.

"I know it's hard for you here; it's hard for me too," her voice caught and I could tell that she was fighting tears again. "There has to be something better than this, it's been so hard," she broke down and put her hands to her face.

"Hey, come on now, no tears," I tried to pull her to me but she held firm, not moving.

"I don't want to get mascara on your shirt," she laughed, and I followed. I put my lips to her head.

"All right, go get yourself dressed. We'll have a beautiful evening. How would you like to spend the night in Athens? We can get a hotel, spend the day tomorrow in bed."

"Whatever you want dear," she sighed as she walked from the room to the bathroom where her dress was hanging. When she emerged she looked simply stunning. She had on the red dress with the beaded back from her last Christmas concert. She had paired it with an amazing pair of high heels that made her legs look incredibly long. Her charm bracelet dangled from her wrist and the only other jewelry she was wearing were her rings. I couldn't help but stare at her when she emerged from the getting dressed. "Close your mouth love, you're likely to catch flies," she said with a wicked smirk on her face, coming over and kissing me passionately. I snaked my arms around her and pulled her close.

"Are you sure that we have to go out? I'm not sure that I want people seeing you dressed like that," her face was so much closer to mine in these shoes and I kissed her again.

"You'll just have to stay close, and protect me," she purred at me; we stood there, lost in each other's gaze for a moment longer. "Come on now, I really want to hear the concert tonight," she said, taking my hand, and pulling me toward the lounge and the door to the outside. She handed me the tickets and pulled me toward the door.

"Love, do you have your wand?" I asked her.

"Where on earth would I put it?" she said, raising her arms at me. _She's right, there really isn't anywhere to hide it there. _"I don't really need it. I can do most of my magic without my wand now, and if I really need one, I'll just hold onto yours. You do have a rather powerful and magnificent wand my love," she said straight faced, except for the glint in her eye. _I love her, I really really love her._ I took her hand, walked with her out to the alley behind our building and together we apparated into the park a block away from the Music Hall.

"So, what are we hearing tonight?" I asked her.

"It's a series of Adagios and string pieces, including my favorite by Albinoni. I find it very..." she took a deep breath "...seductive. Come on, you'll see what I mean." I turned in our tickets and the usher lead us to our seats. Anwen had picked them out, we were in the center of the tenth row, her favorite place to sit. _"It's the acoustic sweet spot here, dear. I researched the hall, and this is where you want to sit for the purest sound,"_ _she had told me the first time that we came here for a concert, nearly two years ago._ We took our seats and she leaned her head down on my shoulder and held my hand as we waited for the concert to begin.

"It's times like these that things feel almost normal," she whispered. _Why can't we seem to shake this feeling of foreboding today? She's got nearly a week more here, and more trips are planned this fall. We're doing fine, aren't we?_ I leaned down and kissed her temple as her fingers drew circles in my palm. The lights dimmed and the Orchestra came out and took their seats and tuned. I loved to watch Anwen listen to music. She would close her eyes, and let the music wash over her. Her fingers moved along, probably fingering along on the pieces that she knew, there was a sense of bliss on her face. I read through the program and realized that the piece she was waiting for was at the end of the first act. The music was beautiful, as was watching my beautiful love listening to it. During a Mozart Adagio, I turned to see her, she was looking down at her charm bracelet, fingering the charms. I moved my arm to around her shoulders and pulled closer.

"What are you thinking love?" I whispered in her ear.

"Just remembering how far we have come, all we have been through. My life has been so much richer because you are in it. I love you," she looked at me, her breath caressing my face, and I could read so much there in her eyes. _If we were anywhere else, I would kiss her._

"I love you to darling. Always, forever," I whispered back, settling myself back in my seat. The Mozart ended and the piece she had been waiting for began. As the music started, her hand settled itself on my leg, just above my knee, and her eyes half closed. She began breathing in tempo of the cello and bass line.

"It sounds familiar," I said to her in a whisper.

"They played it at my birthday party. It was playing when I came back from my crying jag upstairs. It's what they were playing when I decided that it was okay to be in love with you," she replied softly, her eyes warm with desire.

I slid my arm down from her shoulders and onto her back. My fingers slid between the lines of beads and I stroked the soft, bare flesh of her back. Her skin erupted in goosebumps as I touched it and I could feel and hear her breath become labored as I did this. She leaned herself forward, granting me access to more of her back, and her hand gripped my leg tighter. _I want her. I don't care that we are in a concert hall full of people, I need to hold her, caress her, consume her._ I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feel of her. As the piece came to a close, I opened my eyes and her face was turned to mine. As the violin hit the final notes, her eyes were wide and focused on mine. "Take me home, now," she demanded.

The hall broke into applause, but neither of us moved for a moment. The house lights came up, and I grabbed her hand, weaving my fingers through hers, stroking the inside of her palm with my thumb. I could hear her labored breathing as she held herself to my back while we maneuvered our way from the hall, to the lobby and out into the street. When the warm air hit us, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me. My lips crashed into hers, but it was her tongue that forced it's way into my mouth. Noise escaped my throat, and I could feel my body reacting to her. I broke the kiss and pulled her away from the busy street. I checked to make sure that no one could see us, and then apparated us to the small porch off our apartment.

Once we were there, her hands slid inside my jacket and ushered it off my shoulders, she laid it over the patio chair and began loosening my tie. She opened the knot and pulled the tie off me as well, opening the top button of the shirt, then leaning in, she kissed my throat, her tongue dancing over my Adam's apple. A low cry let loose from me, and I reached for my wand and unlocked the patio door and picked her up and carried her to our bedroom. The windows were open and moonlight bathed the room. There were no words, because nothing could be said that could convey more than the look in her eyes, or the power of what I was feeling. _ I get frightened by how much I love her sometimes_. Slowly she released me from my clothes, kissing each newly freed area of skin. She kissed each of my tattoos, paying special attention to her favorite, the one on my hip, of Padfoot swimming in his beautiful lake. When she was done, I reached behind her, and released the two buttons that held her dress up at the neck. It slid down her and onto the floor. We were slow and unhurried in our love making through the night, finally succumbing to sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

**Anwen POV:**

I awoke the next day and looked at the clock. _Crap, it's after two in the afternoon. Today is shot._ I snuggled back into Sirius and decided that a day in bed was a good idea anyway. I was running my fingers over him, playing with the delicate line of hair that dipped down from his navel when I heard him growl. "I was having a really hot dream."

"Okay, fine. Enjoy your dream, I'll just get up," I said, rolling away from him. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back over to him.

"And where do you think you're going?" he said, his hands moving to his favorite places on me.

"Well, if you were going to be busy with your dream lady there, I was going to go and take a steaming hot bath."

"No dream is better than you love. Come here," he said to me, pulling me close and kissing me tenderly.

"I'll just stay here forever, all right?" I said to him, as he moved from my lips to kiss my neck.

"Good. We can be happy here, all we need is in this bed," he moaned back. As I was getting lost in the kiss, as a blue white streak flew in from the window and landed on our bed. Sirius and I were both shocked as a lynx materialized and began speaking to me in Kingsley's deep voice.

"Anwen, I know that you are on holiday, but I need you back here now. We've found Peter. I know you want to be the one to bring him in. I'll wait for your instruction," the lynx evaporated and I stared at Sirius. _ I can't believe it, this might finally be over. I might finally be able to bring him home._ I went to get out of bed. Sirius grabbed my wrist.

"You're not going to leave, are you?"

"Sirius, Kingsley knew that I was here with you, away for the whole week. He wouldn't have sent for me if he didn't think that this was for real," his face was still in a scowl. "Love, if I bring Peter in, we have cleared your name. I'll use Occlumency or Veritaserum - I will get the truth from him; and this will be all over. You can come home with me. We can be married and get back to a normal life," he still wasn't moving. His hand was getting tighter around my wrist.

"Sirius, let go," he didn't; instead his hand tightened. "Sirius, please, it hurts. You hand is much stronger than my wrist," he finally let go. I glared at him and I climbed out of the bed and went over to the dresser and began pulling out clothes to put on.

"I can't believe that you're going to leave," he yelled at me. "We're supposed to have the whole week together, but no, your all important work calls, and off you go."

I had pulled on a pair of clean knickers and a camisole and was rummaging through the drawers for some jeans that didn't have any holes in them. _I really should keep some half way decent clothes here too, well, maybe after today it won't be necessary. I can only hope. _ I turned toward him. He looked like a petulant child sitting there, his arms crossed over his chest, his bottom lip sticking out. "Sirius, look at me," he wouldn't. "Sirius, for God sake, look at me," he finally turned his head up toward me. "Don't you want to come home?"

"Of course I do," he spat. "Why can't you just let them do this without you. Why do you have to swoop in and be the big hero? Why can't someone else do the work for a change. I was supposed to have you to myself for a while," _what had gotten into him?_

"Love, this has to be done right. They've already let him slip away once before. Please, please understand, I'm doing this for us. I'll be back as soon as it's done. You won't have time to miss me, I promise," I was pleading with him, holding his face, but there was still anger in his eyes.

"You don't know what it's been like here without you. I don't know if I can take it any more," he spoke quietly and softly. He looked away from me and my heart broke. _ How can I leave him when he is like this? How can I not go? How is it that he doesn't see that this could be the end? _ I went from feeling sorry for him, to being angry at him in the space of a second.

"Sirius, I swear to you on the depths of my love that I will return and I will bring you back home to me. I promise you," he said nothing, did nothing. I jumped off the bed, and went to the closet to pull out a blouse and hastily buttoned it up. I slid my feet into a pair of sandals and grabbed my purse and my wand from the table next to the bed. I send a patronus back to Kingsley out the open window.

"Anwen, please don't go," he begged me. I could feel tears building behind my eyes.

"Sirius, don't make me choose. I'll come straight back, love. I'll bring you home."

"If you leave, don't bother coming back here," he said, with a harshness to his voice that had never been there before.

"You don't mean that. Go, take a shower, have something to eat, and I will send you word when I have it," I crawled back on the bed and kissed him. He didn't move or kiss me back. "I'll be back, I love you."

I took my wand and touched the ring on my pinky. I swear I head him scream out, as if in pain, as I disappeared from our home. 

**Sirius POV:**

_I don't believe it, she chose her job over me. I begged her not to go, and she did anyway. I get that it's Peter that she's hoping to bring in, but it's failed before. Why couldn't she just let someone else do it? Why did she have to leave me? _All the anger and frustration at the situation that I had been holding in for the last years seemed to erupt from me. I grabbed the lamp from beside the table and threw against the wall._ Well fine, if she's going to choose something over me, then why don't I go and have a good time without her. I'm tired of waiting for her, I think it's time that I took charge of things and made myself happy. Clearly, what I'm thinking and feeling and what I need really doesn't matter to Anwen. She won't be back any time soon anyway, something will happen while she is there, and she will have to fix another mess. I think it's time that I enjoyed myself a little. You are Sirius Black, Hogwarts Marauder, master of the prank. It's about time I lived like it._ I got up and headed toward the loo, not knowing what would happen tonight, but knowing that I would have a good time, even if it killed me.

**Anwen POV:**

I was in mid apparition, thinking about the scene that I had just left, and it pained me. _Something in his eyes was off...don't think about it now, you can fix it when you get back. We've been together forever, half of my life. He has to get over this. Of course, it's the first time that he's ever yelled at me, or hurt me. _I didn't like how this was making me feel.

I landed in the kitchen at the farm, shocking Remus and making him spill his tea all over his noon meal.

"Anwen, what are you doing back so soon? Is everything all right?" he asked me, trying to clean up the mess with his wand.

"Yes, they've found Peter. Kingsley called me back, I'm flooing to the Ministry from here. I will let you know what happens, bye," I yelled as I ran to the lounge and threw the floo powder into the fireplace. Instantly I was in the lobby of the ministry; Kingsley was waiting for me by the fountain.

"Come on, the rest of the team is assembled, ready to Apparate to the town where he's been spotted. How do you want to handle this?" he asked me. I followed him through the crowd to the Apparition point where we had a full compliment of Aurors as well as several guards from Azkaban ready to go with us.

"Let me go in first, and put a bind on him, then I can signal the rest of you to come in and arrest him. I don't want him changing and slipping away again," I quickly transformed myself, and Kingsley looked at me with the most surprised look on his face. I had made myself look like Narcissa Malfoy. "I should be able to get close enough to him this way," I spewed out, in a close impersonation of her voice. "He should still trust her," Kingsley nodded at me, "all right then, lets go," I grabbed hold of Kingsley's robe, realizing that I didn't know where we were going. A moment later, we landed in a forest, just outside of a pub.

"I'll go look in the window and make sure that he is indeed here," King said to me.

"Do me a favor, make sure that Mrs. Malfoy isn't in there as well, it wouldn't go well for us if she was," I smiled at him, he nodded and took off for the window. A moment later he gave me the thumbs up sign, and I took of for the door, trying to duplicate her haughtiness. How I disliked my fiancée's family, and was still able to act like them was a puzzlement.

I opened the door, and walked into the dark bar. Peter was sitting at the back of the bar looking surprised but at the same time thrilled to see me in my disguise. I walked over to him, and had a seat across from him.

"Cissy help me, I am being tracked. I need somewhere to hide," he begged me, his hand reaching out to touch mine. It took everything in me not to grab it and break it. My skin crawled with the feel of his flesh on mine.

"Of course you do," I purred at him in her disgusting way. He smiled at me, and let his guard down. I began to create a bubble of silvery magic around Peter, pulling it in tighter and tighter, until his magic was completely gone, and all I could see was my own.

"Can you give me shelter?" he sniveled again.

"Peter, that's what friends are for," I cooed back, meanwhile sending a red spark toward the door that wouldn't ignite until it was outside. It was the cue for King to come in with the rest of our team. I stroked Peter's hand with mine, pushing down the urge to vomit on the spot as I waited. When they burst in, I grabbed Peter by the wrist.

"You have to hide me, you have to help me," he begged

"Why would I help you, traitor?" I spit out at him, changing myself back. He was in shock, his mouth gapping open, staring at me in disbelief.

"Anwen, please, help me. We've been friends for years," he whimpered, his hand reaching for his wand.

"Friends, that's what you call what you were? We were never friends Peter. From the moment I met you, there was something off about you; but you were friends with the guys, so I went along. Because of your friendship, one is dead, one is hiding and the other one is alone. That isn't friendship Peter!" I roared at him and I summoned his wand and broke it in front of him.

"Please, show me some mercy."

"Why would I do that Peter? You sold us out, all of us," he started to make some noise at me, but I shut him up with a wave of my hand. "You're going to Azkaban Peter, and you are never getting out," Kingsley took him, and bound him up, magically and with physical restraints. I released my magical bubble, and handed another one of the Aurors his broken wand. "If he gives you any trouble, just stun him until we you get him in his cell."

We headed outside, just as Cornelius Fudge arrived. "What is the meaning of this?"

"The meaning of this? This is capturing the fugitive who was responsible for the betrayal and murder of my best friend, her husband and her son and the framing of my fiancée. Here, you can hear it from his stupid, back stabbing mouth," I turned to Peter and removed the silencing spell and pouring my Auror issued bottle of Veritaserum down his throat.

"Tell him; were you the secret keeper for the Potter's?" I demanded.

"Yes," he spat at me.

"Did you betray them to Voldemort?" he stood there, not wanting to answer. "Answer me!"

"Yes."

"Good, I'm done with you. Kingsley will take your statement, and then he will take you to Azkaban; and you can rot there for the rest of your sorry life. James, Sirius and Remus would have helped you, they would have protected you. You don't deserve to be remembered as their friend," I walked away from him and over to Fudge.

"You sir, you heard him. Will you finally, finally believe that it wasn't Sirius?"

"Um, well, I guess. We'll investigate this fully, but it would seem that perhaps..." he stumbled through the statement.

"Thank you, sir," I said, trying to hold my tongue. _If I told him what I really thought of him, I might not have a job in the morning._ I turned and walked away. King met me half way over to where four aurors were holding Peter.

"Anwen, I've got this. Go back to your holiday," he said to me, smiling.

"I think I'll be back sooner than I planned. Hopefully, by the next time you see me, I will be planning my wedding. Thank you King, I owe you so very much. If you need me, well, make sure it's really important," I smiled at him. "I'll see you next week."

"Tell Sirius congratulations for me. I'll contact Albus as well," he spoke in a hushed tone.

"Thanks again, bye," I was nearly bouncing. I apparated myself back to the farm. This time, I went into the yard, and walked through the door; much less surprising for Remus.

"Well?" he asked hopefully when I was in the door.

"Peter is in custody, his wand is broken and King is taking him to Azkaban personally. It's over. Want to come with me to tell James and Lily?" I beamed at him.

"Of course; come on," we went into the yard, and apparated away. We knocked on the back door at the little house that James and Lily were living at and Lily flung the door open and hugged me, looking surprised.

"Anwen, why aren't you with Sirius?"

"King got in touch with me this afternoon. They found Peter, and he knew that I would want to bring him in. I came home to arrest him and Sirius is in the process of being cleared. I'm about to go back and bring him home. We'll be back soon. Where are James and Harry?"

"There in here, come on in," we walked through the mud room and into the lounge. Lily and I linked arms, and nearly skipped into the lounge, Remus following behind, chuckling. James and Harry were playing chess on the floor.

"Hello my little man," I said as I saw him.

"Auntie Winnie, your back!" he screamed as he jumped up and ran over to me, giving me a great hug. "What did you bring me?" _he knows me too well. _

"Nothing yet Harry, I'm only home for a very short time, but the next time I come over, I'll have a big surprise for you. How would you like me to bring your Uncle Sirius back with me?"

"Really? You're going to bring him home? Will he play Quidditch with me?" the little boy was jumping up and down now.

"We all will, I promise," I smiled at him and he hugged me again.

"Anwen, you mean..." James said, getting up as well.

"Yes, we arrested Peter a little while ago; Kingsley is taking him to Azkaban as we speak. It's over. He was the last of the Death Eaters on the loose; well the last of the ones that weren't able to buy their freedom anyway. You're safe. Albus has been notified already, and I'm sure that he will be in touch with you soon. I however, would very much like to get back to my fiancée; he wasn't happy when I left. I'm so glad that this is finally over; we can be together, and be a family again," I was crying happy tears. I looked over at Lily, and she was too. "Feel like planning another wedding with me?"

"Of course," she ran over and hugged me, James did the same.

"All right everyone, I should be going, but this will be the last time. I'll send word when I know when we'll be headed back. We should secure the apartment, so it won't be tonight I don't think," I said, getting lost in thought. "I don't even know what time it is."

"It's a little after six, Anwen," Remus replied, taking his watch out of his pocket.

"Okay, it's not that late there," I said, taking a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "Here goes, hopefully for the last time," I withdrew my wand and touched it to the ring: _"Portus,"_ and with that word my family disappeared in a blue white flash, and the lounge of the apartment in Greece reappeared.

The apartment was dark when I arrived. The bed was still unmade, and I quickly looked around the small home for Sirius. He wasn't inside or out. I didn't know where he might have gone, so I went out onto the patio and looked at the street below. I didn't see him.

_I could send him a patronus, but if he's with Muggles that could expose him. I suppose that I could just wait here for him, but it could be a while, and I want him to know now. He is going to be so happy._ I sat there for a moment trying to figure out where he was. I closed my mind and tried to reach out to him, to find his magic, but I couldn't. I hadn't tried to do it in so long, I wasn't surprised that I couldn't find him. _Since he's been in Greece, I knew that I couldn't stretch that far, so I really hadn't tried. It wasn't like when I was at home, and went looking for any of the Potter's or Remus. I can find them anywhere in Great Britain now._ I sighed, then I remembered; I lifted my arm and grabbed my charm bracelet, spinning it around until the enchanted charm was on top. I rubbed it, hoping that it would still work as it had all those years ago, when he saved me. The apartment was quiet, then I heard a faint buzzing noise. I followed it, until I came to our bedroom. There on his nightstand was his watch, the charm vibrating against the wood of the small table. _He always carries it._ My heart sank. _Maybe he was only running out for something quickly, and he didn't need to know the time? _I tried to justify this to myself, but something about it made me feel ill. I picked the watch up in my hands and carried it back into the lounge. It felt cold. I had never known it to feel cold. I sat down and panic began to take me over.

_Anwen girl, you are being silly, stop it. It doesn't mean anything. He can't be that mad at you. Calm down. He'll be home soon, and all will be fine. He will never remember any of this once he knows that you can take him home. _I took a deep steadying breath and settled myself down to wait for Sirius to come home.

I waited, and waited, and waited.

Two hours passed, and then I finally heard him in the hall, fumbling with his keys. I put the watch down and went to open the door. As I flung the door open I found my fiancée in the hall, his arms wrapped around a woman, kissing her behind the ear, just as he kissed me. The room started spinning and I felt the blood drain away from my face.

"Sirius..." it was all that I could get out. I stumbled away from the door and behind the chair, holding onto it tightly, knowing that it was what was keeping me upright now. My legs were about to fail me.

"Anwen, what are you doing here?" he said, breaking away from the woman, still standing in the doorway with her beside him. She was tall and beautiful with dark curls and piercing eyes. _ She is so beautiful. She looks like she belongs with him._ The voice that I had so long pushed aside in my head was screaming now. _You knew this would happen. You knew you weren't good enough for him. _I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"I came to tell you that you can come home. I came to tell you that we could get married."

"You didn't tell me that you were engaged. What did she call you? You told me your name was Chauffard!" she said in a thick accent. She spat at him and turned on her heel and walked away. He took a step into the apartment and the door slammed shut. His arms stretched out, wanting to hold me, but I backed away. I couldn't catch my breath and my eyes were burning with tears I couldn't control.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed at him, my voice as hard as the planes on my face had become. "I told you I would be back. I promised you, but I guess my promises don't mean anything. Yours clearly didn't. How could you do this? I thought you loved me?"

"Anwen, I do. I was just so angry. You chose your job over me, and I didn't expect it to work, and I was angry so I went out to a bar and I've drunk too much, and she was so kind to me ..." he said, his voice small.

"No, there is no excuse," I could feel the tears rolling down from my eyes, wetting my face, but I wouldn't let him see me loose it completely. I grabbed my bag and my wand and touched my small ring, I knew that there was only one place that I wanted to be. I was briefly in the lounge of the London house, and then I apparated to my home. I landed in a heap in the yard of the farm, falling to the ground, weeping and wailing. Remus must have heard me and came rushing out of the house and lifted me to hold me in his arms.

"Anwen, Anwen, what happened? Where is Sirius?" he was pleading with me, running his hands over me to see if I was hurt somewhere.

"Still in ..." I couldn't say it, _damn spell._ "Found him...kissing..." and with that the damn burst and nothing else would come out. I was wailing. My heart was so broken, I couldn't breathe. It was if there was a weight on my chest and I couldn't fill my lungs. I looked up at his face, and I could tell he understood me, his sympathy and furry were evident even through my tears. "Lily," I muttered and he seemed to understand. He pulled me up with him and while still cradling me, brought me to the Potter's.

**Remus POV:**

_If I am understanding her right, I will kill him, regardless of his being one of my best friends or not. How could he? Maybe she is just confused? He wouldn't, couldn't. Would he?_ I picked her up and ran toward the door. I banged on it, and James opened the door. He looked at us, looked at the state she was in, curled up in my arms and concern swept over his face.

"What the hell happened?"

"She just got back to the farm. I think she may have caught Sirius kissing another woman, wherever it is that he's been hiding. She wanted Lily," I said looking at James. I was surprised to see Albus Dumbledore sitting on the sofa, playing with Harry. Lily came over and stroked her head, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Take her upstairs. If he did, James, I swear I will kill him," I had never seen her so angry.

"Lil, I think you'll have to get behind Remus and I. Albus, will you stay with Harry for a moment?"

"Of course," he replied. I started for the stairs, following Lily. As I climbed the stairs, I heard Harry ask his Daddy "Is Auntie Winnie okay?" I was thankful I didn't hear James answer. I laid her down on the bed in the guest room and Lily laid down next to her, wrapping her arms around her. I sat down on the floor, holding her hands.

"Winnie, tell me what happened, please." Lily asked. Anwen took several deep breaths, trying to steady herself.

"He came home, kissing another woman. She was beautiful Lily," it was all that she could get out, the sobs took over her body again. Lily was comforting her and I knew that she was in good hands. I slid my hands away from hers, and as I did, I felt her engagement ring slip from her hand and heard it fall to the floor with a hollow clang. I walked downstairs. James stood and indicated that I follow him to the kitchen. We walked in and he closed the door.

"Harry idolizes Sirius, I don't want him hearing this. What did he do?"

"She didn't say anything new. Look, he can't come here, he doesn't know where you are and he can't go to the farm either, since it's blood warded. I think that he will go back to the house in London. One of us should be there when he gets back," I said to him.

"I think it had better be both of us, since you look like you could kill him right now," James explained, "not that I'm not thinking about it too."

"Yeah, how could he do that to her? She means everything..." I had to stop before I ruptured something in my head. "Go get your cloak, you can stay under it until all the shades are drawn at the house," I walked back into the lounge, James went to retrieve his cloak from it's hiding place.

"Albus, we're going to go to the house in London. It's the most likely place he'll go to find her. Can you stay here for a while? I think Lily may have her hands full."

"Of course. I do hope that this can be put right, they have been through so much already," He said gently. James returned and covered himself with his cloak and we went out the back door and apparated to the small house in London. I went through the first floor and closed all the curtains and shades and turned on a few lights. James removed his cloak, and we sat down, waiting for our wayward Marauder to come home.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27:**

**What You Least Expect**

**Sirius POV:**

I was sitting in the dining room of the house that James and Lily were living in, waiting for Anwen. _I've been back for five days, and I haven't seen her, been able to apologize to her, to try to make things better. At first, it was James and Remus who kept me away from her. Then, it was Anwen herself. I stood outside the door of the room that she was staying in, trying to talk with her, but she refused to respond. She left the house soon after and I couldn't follow her, she hadn't let me inside the wards of the farm._

The shiner on my face was nearly healed as well. _I wouldn't have been surprised if Moony or Prongs had hit me, but the fact that my face was black and blue from Lily was completely unexpected. I didn't bother healing it, I wore it as a scarlet letter upon my face; a reminder of just what a prat I had been. I have to make this better, I don't know that I can do this without her._

_I had never intended to be unfaithful to her. It was something that just happened - because I am a bloody rotten spoiled git. Hell, if I had just stopped and thought about things for a few minutes, all of this could have been avoided and we might have been married by now. What the hell did I do?_ I raked my hands through my hair and leaned my head down on the table, waiting for her to come in. She had set up this meeting, someplace 'neutral' as she called it. I had been spending most of my time here since I had come back, anyhow. The house in London seemed so empty without her. _ If I thought that living in Greece without her was hard, being back without her was unbearable. _

The front door opened and I heard Harry call her, and his little feet running up to her, "Auntie Winnie."

"Hello my little man, how are you?" she said, _her voice sounds strange, tense and hoarse. _

"I'm great. I love having Uncle Sirius back. He's fun to play with," Harry chirped at her.

"I'm sure he is. I have to go talk with him now, okay."

"All right. Maybe we can all play together later?"

"We'll see," she said in a way that would clearly mean 'no' to anyone over the age of five. I could hear Harry bound off and the click of her shoes against the wood floor grew louder. My heart was beating faster, _my beloved sweet girl is getting closer._ I stood to greet her, but the look of her in the doorway made me freeze. Her face was taut and pale, and her lips seemed somehow thin. She didn't look at all well, and there were deep circles under her eyes, and her usually vibrant green orbs were vacant and hard. _This can't be my Winnie, she seems so old, so hard. _ Her clothes were dark, which made her look even paler, and they didn't seem to fit her at all. She carried a satchel in her hands. I went to stand so I could move around the table to hug her, hold her, try to make her better; but she didn't let me. She immediately slipped into the chair and sat down, across the table from the chair that I had been sitting in. I stumbled back into the chair at the sight of her and her behavior.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet me here. I was easier this way," she said with a cold detachment to her voice. I tried to reach for her hands, but she wouldn't let me. _At least she still has on the engagement ring and the ring I gave her for Christmas._

"Anwen, I have been trying to talk to you for days. I am so sorry. I never meant..." I said, pleading with her to take me back.

"Stop. I don't want to do this now, there's nothing for you to say anyway," she said, keeping her eyes away from me.

"There is plenty for me to say. Anwen, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I love you," she said nothing, she just sat there looking at the table, her fingers kneading the flesh between her eyes.

"Um...look I needed to meet with you about some financial things, and other bits of business. I needed to get these taken care of now, since I don't know when I'll be back."

"Back? Winnie where are you going?" I was panicking. _I just got home, and now she was leaving. How were we going to work things out if she wasn't here?_

She took a deep breath. "I asked for a transfer to the Diplomatic Unit. I leave for France tomorrow night. That trip will be short, only a few weeks, a month at most," she said, sounding very formal. _Weeks, maybe a month. Even when I was in Greece we never went that long without seeing one another._

"Why? I thought that you loved being an Auror?"

"I do, I still am," she stammered. "I'm just going to liaison with my international counterparts now. I just needed a change. I need to be away; it's too hard," she was working so hard to keep from making eye contact with me.

"It doesn't have to be. Forgive me, let me be with you, marry me."

"Sirius, I can't," a lone tear fell down her face, and for the first time she made eye contact, and I could see the heartbreak behind her eyes. _Shit, what did I do? _ There was no light in her eyes, no passion, she just looked...broken. "The goblins were more than accommodating to me, letting me take care of all of this," she said, sliding the satchel to me. "I had my name removed from the deed to the London house. All you have to do is sign it and return it to them. Most of my things are gone already. Anything else that you find that might be mine, give to Remus and he can bring it out to the farm for me. He was bringing Molly back into the city when I left. She'll be glad to see you, I've never been as much to play with," _she was leaving me. She's leaving our home. Is this the end?_

"What? No. That's our home, yours and mine," she shook her head at me and wiped a tear away.

"The papers are in there as well to remove my name from your accounts. I never touched your money, but if there's anything missing, I can repay you. My signature is on those as well, so you just need to sign them and return them to the bank."

"Winnie, stop it! I don't care about the money. I love you, I want to marry you," I stood up, yelling at her. A few more tears were falling now. "Why can't we work on this?"

"Fine, we can work on it, just answer one question for me," she was arguing back. _This is good, at least there is some emotion there. She has to still feel something for me._

"Anything. I'll tell you anything."

"Was she the only one? Were you going to sleep with her?" _I didn't know how to answer her, no matter what I said, she was going to get hurt._

"There's never been anyone else, Winnie; you have to believe me; and I...I...I don't know what I was doing with her," I told her quietly, knowing in my heart that it wasn't the whole truth.

"That's why we can't work on this. I don't trust you. You were bringing her back to our bed," she said, pulling her hands up over her face. "I always knew I wasn't enough. I never should have made myself believe..." she whispered, almost as if to herself. My heart fell at that moment, and I saw it all through her eyes. _After all this time, she still doesn't see how precious she is..damn, I proved her fears were right. How am I ever going to fix this?_ The weight of reality pressed upon me heavily. We sat there, neither of us saying anything, or even moving for a while. Finally, I heard her voice, now it sounded thin and frail.

"I received a notification through the bank about your mother. I know that you weren't close, but I am sorry," _my mother had died this week. Anwen was still trying to comfort me, still trying to make it better. I thought about that for a moment. I was the last member of my family. I had hoped to make the woman sitting with me now my partner, and to rebuilt the family name, but I feared it unlikely now._

"Thank you," it was all that I could get out. I looked up at her. Her eyes were red and swollen and her face was blotchy, but there was a softness to her face that wasn't there before. Behind all the pain and anger, just for a second, I saw the look of love on her face as well. _It's enough, she must still love me, even just a little. It's still there._ My heart leapt with hope at the promise that it's not completely gone. Then I looked at her hands, sliding her rings off, all of them, and leaving them on the satchel.

"No, those are yours keep them."

"I can't. You wear an engagement ring with the promise that one day you will be married. I don't know that it will ever come to pass."

"But we haven't even tried."

"Sirius, I don't think I'm strong enough to try," her voice broke as she spoke and fresh tears fell from her eyes.

"Anwen, do you love me?" She didn't say anything, and I realized that I was crying too. It seemed to take forever for her to answer.

"I will love you until I take my last breath," she whispered, dissolving into tears. I couldn't take it any more, I stood up and went to her and lifted her into my arms. She didn't return the embrace, she just stood there, shaking, but at least she let me hold her.

"Then please, let me fix this," I pleaded with her.

"I don't know if you can. You shattered me, and I'm not even sure that all the pieces are there to put it back together."

"You have to let me try, we've been through too much. You are my heart and soul. Please, please, don't shut me out," she said nothing, didn't move, just stood there breathing, my arms wrapped around her, hers still at her side. I breathed in her scent and I was lost in how good it felt to have her in my arms again. She broke the embrace and reached down and grabbed something, and hastily ran for the door.

"We can write while I'm away, but I make no other promises," and with that, she was gone. I looked down at the table, the promise ring was gone, but her engagement ring was still there. It was something, not the something that I wanted most, but it was indeed something. _I could still make this right, it's not completely over._ I smiled at the thought and grabbed the engagement ring and the silver band and slid them into my pocket. I heard the door slam again, and I knew that she had left. James walked into the room a moment later.

"Are you all right?" he asked me.

"Maybe? Prongs, she gave me back everything, the house, the bank accounts, even the engagement ring. I don't want any of it, I just want her. What the hell have I done? She didn't even look like herself," I said, sitting back down at the table, fingering the satchel. James came and sat down next to me.

"Look, I know that she's pissed at you, but I think that you really need to talk to Lily about this. Anwen loves you, she's loved you since she was eleven, but man, you royally screwed this one up. Padfoot, this may be the worst mistake you have ever made."

"I get that, what I need to know, is how do I fix it?" I turned to look at him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure that you can fix this one alone. Somehow, she has to trust you again, and that is going to be hard for her. How could you not have known what this would do to her?" He asked me, and I realized that I didn't have an answer. _All of my life I have done what I wanted to do. As a kid, it didn't matter because my parents never paid much attention to me. Then, once I got to Hogwarts, I did what I wanted in part to piss people off, and in part because I could. Sometimes I thought about the Marauder's and maybe Anwen, when we were friends, but honestly, I still did just what I wanted. I have never really had to think about what anyone else wanted, or needed, or how my stupid shit would effect them. Anwen had always put up with it, always followed along, or cleaned up after me._ The reality of just what a major prat I had been was dawning on me.

"James, why do any of you put up with me?" I asked him.

"Sirius, you're not that bad. Come on, we've had our fair share of fun, and most of that was instigated by you. Everyone is used to you now, we kind of expect this from you. It's just, this, with Anwen, was probably the hardest thing for her. She deeply and completely loves you, which is why she's so hurt. Talk with Lily, it won't be easy, but if there is a way to get Anwen to trust you, Lily will know what it is," he put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. I nodded at him, and walked into the kitchen. Lily was feeding Harry his lunch.

"Hi Uncle Sirius, can we fly when I finish my lunch? Maybe Auntie Winnie can fly too? Did you know that she can become a bird? She flies so fast when she's like that, and then she lands on Daddy, and he gets really upset and scrunches up his face. Once, she even pooped on his head. She is so cool," he said taking another bite of his sandwich.

"I did know that, and you're right, she's very cool. We'll see, but first I need to talk with your Mummy, okay?" He nodded at me and I turned to look at Lily. "Will you talk with me?" She let out a deep breath.

"I suppose," she said, indicating the door to the back yard. We walked outside and went down the path leading away from the house.

"Go ahead, say it," I told her. _This would be easier if I just let her get everything out and just stood and took it. _

"Sirius Black, you are the biggest prat on the face of the earth. You have no idea how much you have hurt her and to be honest with you, I am not sure that I want to help you get her back, because if I ever have to live through that again, live through her weeping and then through her staring off into space; I will come and hunt you down and hex you into hell myself. She laid there for two days, barely breathing. Do you know what finally brought her out of it, Harry. My five year old son climbed into bed with her and grabbed her face and asked her if she was still alive. It was pitiful Sirius," she had stopped walking and was standing in front of me, her hands on her hips and her eyes glaring. _I really hope she doesn't hex me now, but by the look of her, it could happen._ "After all of these years, how could you not know how insecure she was. She has never seen herself as pretty, and that stupid attack in Hogsmeade made her feel worse about herself. She still has nightmares about it, after all these years, she will wake up screaming. She doesn't know that any of us know, but we have all heard her before she puts a silencing charm on her room," _how did I not know this?_ I was shaking my head at her, but she continued.

"Did you know that when we were planning your wedding, she still couldn't figure out why you wanted to marry her? She looked at herself in the wedding dresses, and never thought that she looked pretty enough for you, but she was so in love and so willing to trust you that she tried to see herself as you saw her, but deep down, I think she still saw, she still sees herself, as the skinny girl who you wanted as a friend, but not as your girlfriend. That last year at Hogwarts, watching you being such a Casanova, it nearly killed her, and now...you sent her right back there."

"But Lily, I think she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I love everything about her. How can she not know how amazing she is? She's a powerful witch, and an amazing friend. She can sing like an angel and has the most remarkable mind. She's, she's...she is everything. How can she not see all of that in herself?" _ I just didn't get it. She had been told since she was little just how extraordinary her voice was...didn't she hear any of that._

"Yes, she is all of those things, but she's still a girl. Even the most beautiful woman in the world will not see what everyone else sees, she only sees her flaws. Anwen doesn't see herself as in the same league as you,"_ her words stung, it would have hurt less if she had hit me with a load of bricks._

"How do I fix it?"

"I don't know. First, be honest, were you going to sleep with that woman, whoever she was?"

"Anwen asked me the same thing. I told her I didn't know."

"That's a lie and you know it. You were taking her back to your house, or whatever it was. So, tell me, were you going to sleep with her?" she persisted.

"I guess I probably would have," I said quietly.

"And you'd been with Anwen there?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "It's where you and she first..." I nodded at her. "Even though you didn't really do anything, you betrayed the most intimate part of your relationship. Sirius, you are the only person she's ever been with. Granted, she's not seventeen anymore, but, it still hurts, deeply. She's lived with the ghosts of all of your past girlfriends and conquests. To have the past become the present was nearly her undoing. Do you know what she's always said?" She asked me, and I shook my head at her. "Being with you was like sleeping with all those other girls in the bed you shared. Sometimes, she felt like they were there, giving her marks on her performance," she stopped talking, and let me digest what she had said. It felt as if my blood had thickened within my veins, slugging along, weighed down by the guilt that I was feeling.

We continued walking until we got to a small bench in an outcropping of trees. "Now, what's working in your favor her, is that you didn't do anything. As bad as this is, it really could have been much, much worse. If you'd slept with her, there would be no way you would ever hope to get Anwen back."

"So you think that there is a chance?" I said with hope.

"Yes, I do. You're going to have to work very hard, because she is in a really dark place right now. It's been building for a while, she's playing all of this disturbing music, barely eating, and now she's changed jobs. The idea of her spending her nights completely alone, in a hotel room, in some foreign country isn't good for her. We have to get her to change her mind, get her to stay in the country, or she is going to slip further away. Have you talked with Remus at all?"

"He's been avoiding me," I answered truthfully.

"Well, with good reason, I suppose. The two of them have really gotten close since you've been gone. Not like that, Sirius, wipe that look off your face."

_I didn't even know that there was a look on my face. _

"It's more of a deep friendship thing. He's been worried about her for the last year. She really was becoming desperate to be with you. She had started to tell him something, the day before she left, but then she stopped. I'm not sure what it was, but I know that he was extremely concerned about her. It will help you understand where she's been at," I took a moment to digest it all. "Did she give you any idea of what to do next?"

"I guess. I mean she had her name removed from the London house and all of my accounts, but if I don't sign the papers, nothing will happen with them. Right? She gave back the engagement ring, but kept the promise ring...and she said that we could write each other," it felt like a throw away gesture.

"That's good. She still wants you around, she just wants you on her terms, it's something to work with. Sirius, go talk with Remus. Listen to him, everything he has to say, and then we can all put our heads together to solve this. I need her home too," Lily got up and started back to the house, leaving me there with my thoughts.

I remained a while longer. _She is everything to me, and yet, it seems like there are things about her that I don't know._ I was disturbed by this, and very uncomfortable at the idea that there could be more revelations to come. I stood up and went to see if I could find Remus. As I was headed to the house, a large owl swooped down and deposited a letter in my hands, and then flew away. It had the ministry seal on it. I ripped the envelope open, and pulled the parchment out.

Dear Mr. Black,

Your presence is requested at an emergency meeting

of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement today at

Three o'clock p.m.

Sincerely;

Liandra Newsome

Executive Assistant

Magical Law Enforcement

_Well, that is unexpected. I wonder what they want? _

I walked back toward the house, and everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea. Harry was coloring something in his high chair. Moony had come back, but he still hadn't made eye contact with me.

"What ya got there Padfoot?" James asked me.

"It's a note from the Ministry. They want me at a special meeting of the Magical Law Enforcement Department today at three," I said holding the envelope up. I looked at the clock on the wall, and realized that it was just after one. _I don't have a whole lot of time to get myself to looking presentable. _"You have any idea what they might want?"

"Well, they did hunt you for four years, when you were innocent. Maybe they want to say they're sorry?" Lily postulated.

"Really, the Ministry say that they got something wrong. When was the last time that happened?" I asked her.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," James laughed back.

"I guess I should go and find something suitable to wear. I don't even think I have any robes that would fit me. I haven't worn robes since I left school. Is there time to go and get some?" _I really wasn't sure that there was._

"I have a set. Come on, let's go get them so you can clean yourself up before your meeting," Remus said, with just a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Thanks," I looked at him, and for the first time in days our eyes met. "Really, thank you for everything."

"You're welcome," he said with sincerity.

"You know Sirius, it wouldn't hurt for you to do something with that mess on the top of your head either. I could trim it up for you quickly, give you a clean shave, you'd look like a whole new man. Someone who might even be worthy of redemption?" Lily offered.

"Lil, a haircut isn't going to get Anwen to forgive me. I'll get myself straightened up, I promise," I smirked at her, and she smiled back. _Maybe everything will be okay._

Remus and I went to the house in London, and he got the robes from his closet and brought them to me. I started to get undressed, but as I went to take my pants off, I felt Anwen's rings in my pocket. I took them out, and sat down on the bed to look at them. The tiny silver band, the portkey ring, was so very small. I could just barely get it onto the tip of my pinky finger. I laid it aside, knowing that she would never use it again. I had already made plans to sell the flat.

Then I started fingering her engagement ring. It felt warm in my hand, and right to the core of me. _She must still love me, or it would be cold. _I laid it down on the bed, along with my watch and finished undressing and went into the loo. It seemed so empty, all the things that were Anwen's were gone, and all that was left were the few things that I had. I showered quickly and wrapped a towel around me, and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I could barely stand the sight of myself.

I took my wand and began to charm away the stubble from my face, neatening up my mustache and beard _I look nearly presentable now._ I grabbed my wand and did the spell on my hair, and it shortened itself rapidly, coming to rest just below my shoulders. I quickly did a drying charm and then pulled it back and secured at the nape of my neck. _I'm putting on dress robes, I suppose that people should be able to see my face, and I really don't need to hide from them anymore._ I quickly dressed and put my watch on, and slid the ring into my pocket, needing to keep it close. I bounded downstairs and found Remus in the lounge.

"Okay, how do I look?"

"Incredibly uncomfortable," he said smiling at me.

"Observant as always," I quipped back.

"Here, let me fix that eye of yours. Can't go into the Ministry looking like you were in a bar fight." He took out his wand and fixed the remnants of the bruise on my face. "Look, just try to relax. Your name is cleared, this shouldn't be a big deal. When you get back, we can talk about Anwen. There is some stuff you need to know," I could feel the concern wash across my face. "Padfoot, I want you to work it out. She needs you, like she needs air and food. Without you this week, she's been nearly dead." I smiled at his comments. With Remus behind me I couldn't fail.

"Listen closely though, if you hurt her ever again, you won't live to see another day, got it." I froze as I listened to Remus. It was rare to see the wolf in him when it wasn't a full moon. I know that I'd just seen it though.

"I get it. I will NEVER hurt her again, I swear," I promised, taking a deep breath. He tipped his head ever so slightly in response. "I'll be back when I can." I took off for the back door and apparated away.

I hadn't been inside of the Ministry of Magic in years, but it was still as busy and massive as it ever was. _Who would have thought so many people would be working late on a Friday afternoon? _ I checked in and the young witch working at the desk pointing me toward the lift, telling me which floor to get off at. She ran her fingers along my hand as she returned my wand to me, and her touch made my stomach lurch. I quickly walked away from her.

I got off the lift carriage, and started walking down the hall. A woman with a tight bun and robes that were all in various shades of gray came walking up to me with her hand extended.

"Mr. Black, we are so glad that you were able to make it here on such short notice. I'm Liandra Newsome, I sent you the letter this afternoon. Please, follow me. Nearly everyone is here," the woman said, leading me into a large conference room. When I walked in, my heart leapt, Anwen was sitting at the long conference table, talking in hushed tones to another Auror, who I guessed was her partner Kingsley. When she saw me, she froze, and I watched all of her emotions wash across her face. She said something to her partner and then got up out of her chair and came over to me. She'd changed clothes since I saw her earlier, and she was now in her official Auror robes.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me, her eyes questioning me.

"I got a letter after you left, asking me to be at this meeting. I didn't know you'd be here, I don't even know what this is about."

"I know," she said, fluttering her eyelashes across her eyes, trying not to look at me. "It's fine, I don't know what this is about either." We stood there in awkward silence. "No one knows that there are any problems between us, and I really don't want to air our dirty laundry right now, not like this. Um, can we just pretend..."

"I understand love," I reached down and wiped the tear that was holding onto her lashes away. Her breath caught at my touch and she closed her eyes and leaned her head gently into my touch. "Do you want your ring back, for appearances sake?"

"I guess I should. But please, this doesn't mean..."

"Anwen, I know I have a long way to go to get you to trust me. Come on, let's go sit down," I reached in my pocket and slipped her the ring, she slid it on her hand which I then took it and held it as we went back to the table. She took her seat next to her partner, and I sat next to her. She immediately pulled her hand away from mine and set them both on the table, in full view of everyone. _I assume that she doesn't want me to hold it again. _I fought the urge to sigh at the lack of physical contact. She leaned toward the large dark skinned man to her left.

"Kingsley, let me **finally** introduce you. Kingsley Shaklebolt, this is Sirius Black. Sirius, this is my partner, Kingsley," we shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

"You're a very lucky man, Anwen is an amazing woman and a wickedly good Auror," he said smiling at her. Anwen looked at the table blushing._ She really can't take a compliment._

"Believe me, I know what a treasure she is. I hope that I never lose her," I said back, looking down at her. I could see her lips curl slightly at the sentiment. Nothing else was said, as it was that moment that the Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold, walked in. Kingsley and Anwen stood up, so I followed suit, along with everyone else in the room.

"Please, please sit," she waved all the ceremony off. Anwen had said that she was a very no-nonsense type of woman. They got along quite well, the elder woman complimenting the younger on her 'spunk'.

"I was pleased to see that everyone was able to make it to this rather impromptu meeting. We were hoping to do this in another week, but Auror Hodgson, your transfer request caught us all a little off guard," the Minister said. She was proper and brusk and reminded me a little of the Queen Mum, and I most certainly wouldn't mess with her.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, I didn't think it would be a problem to change sections. Especially not a problem that would require all the heads of departments," Anwen said, obviously sounding concerned and befuddled. She looked close to breaking, and I reached over and took her hand anyway. I could feel her shiver at my touch.

"There is no need to apologize my dear. You've done nothing wrong. We were just surprised that you would want to spend time out of the country, now that your fiancée has returned. Unless you were planning to have him travel with you, which of course is allowable."

"Oh, um...I see," Anwen weakly stammered. "Madame Minister, I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why King, Sirius and I are here? Is there a problem with his being back in the country, because we have full documentation that he did nothing wrong, Peter Pettigrew has been brought into custody, and is safely housed in Azkaban..." she was getting worked up, and it was wonderful to see her show any emotion.

"Auror Hodgson, none of you are in trouble, in fact, you are far from it. Now, first things first. I believe that Mr. Fudge has something to say to Mr. Black," she said in a commanding voice. She looked over at a rather pudgy balding man, whose face had turned red. _This must be the guy who has been giving Anwen all that trouble._

"Err, well, um, yes. Mr. Black, on behalf of the Ministry, I would like to offer you our deepest apologies for, um, wrongly accusing you of the crimes of Magical Secret Betrayal and Murder by Proxy. You have been absolved of all charges, and your record, in this matter, is clean," he sort of barked out, barely making eye contact. I couldn't help but to leer at him, which made him squirm. I glanced over at Anwen, and she was glaring at him.

"Mr. Black, a full retraction will be printed tomorrow in the _Daily Prophet_. They would like to have you sit for an interview as well, when it's convenient for you to use in a future issue. There is a great deal of interest in your story," the Minister continued.

"Um, okay, they can owl me," I said, not really wanting to be interviewed.

"Now, on to you Aurors Shaklebolt and Hodgson. You're determination in bringing in not only Peter Pettigrew, but many of the former followers of He Who Shall Not Be Named was truly impressive. We have brought most of them in, and I understand that you have a rather ingenious plan for trying to catch those who have evaded jail time thus far?"

"Yes, Madame Minister, we do. It's Anwen's idea, and it's brilliant," Kingsley said, getting quite excited. "We have been trying to get at the remaining Death Eaters through their financial records. They have prospered due to the intimidation and murder, by taking the fortunes of their victims. Anwen had the idea to go after the money, as, what was it you called it?" Kingsley asked her.

"Ill-gotten gains," Anwen answered back, rather meekly.

"Yes, that's it; the problem is that we believe someone is passing secrets from within the Ministry still. When we move against any of those who remain free, they seem to be able to pass through our grasp," Kingsley said in his deep booming voice.

"I understand; which is why I am authorizing the creation of a new department within Magical Law Enforcement, to deal with such financial crimes. Aurors Shaklebolt and Hodgson, we would like to make you the heads of the department. You would carry the title of Senior Auror for the new office, and would overall hold cabinet positions of Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. What do you say? I am sure that there will be some international travel included, chasing down overseas money and such, if that is something that you desire. You will both be generously compensated for this new line of work," she said. I was as surprised as Anwen looked. She kept blinking her eyelids. I squeezed her hand and it seemed to break her from her stupor. She looked over at Kingsley.

"I'm game if you are?" she said quietly.

"Well, you're the brains of the outfit, so where you go, I follow," he smiled down at her. _I could see why these two made such a good team. I like him, he really respects her._ "Madame Minister, it would appear that you have heads for your new office."

"Splendid. We will begin on Monday morning in setting up the department. Now, there is one final matter that we would like to discuss with you Mr. Black and your fiancée," she said, turning to look warmly at Anwen and I. "We know that your wedding was canceled due to all of this unfortunate business, and that you have waited four years to be able to finally marry. As Minister of Magic, I invited you to participate in a full ceremonial Ministry wedding, using the ancient rites. I would like to offer to you the atrium of the Ministry for your wedding ceremony, as well as the Great Hall for your reception, completely paid for by the Ministry, as a small way of beginning to make amends for the problems that we have caused the two of you," she said with a smile. _Wow, that's quite something to be offered. _Anwen looked uncomfortable at the offer, but she opened her mouth to speak.

"That is a truly generous offer, but Sirius and I haven't really talked about our future plans..."

"Of course you haven't had time to. Next week, once we have finished setting up the new department, you can meet with my social secretary, who can help you begin making plans for the wedding. She, and the leverage of my office, will be at your service. The wedding of the sole heir of the Ancient and Honored house of Black to a heroic top Muggle-born Auror will be the social event of the year," she was beaming, Anwen was just nodding.

"Thank you Ma'am. I look forward to that," she said quietly, not sounding at all excited.

"Well, then, it's Friday afternoon, so everyone have a wonderful weekend, and we will see you early Monday morning," with that, she stood, gave a curt nod, and walked from the room, followed closely by her staff. Others filed out, coming to stop and congratulate Anwen and Kingsley. At several points, I swear I saw her begin to loose her balance as she was standing there. I reached out and put a steadying hand in the small of her back, for the first time all day, she didn't shy away from my touch. Once everyone had left, Kingsley, Anwen and I were left alone in the large room. Anwen slumped against the table.

"Well, that was unexpected. Are you okay, you seem rather quiet?" Kingsley asked his partner.

"Yeah, it's just a lot to take in," she said, leaning back into me. _She needs me here, she's not upset that I'm here._ My head was singing a little song to itself.

"We should go out to celebrate. Amelia and I have a date already for tonight. Would you like to join us for dinner?"

"Um, well, I guess..." she stammered out.

"Great. Meet us at _Rules_ at 8:00 p.m. We already have reservations, I will contact them to make sure that the table is set for four. Congratulations fellow Senior Auror," he smiled at her, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Same to you," she said, smiling warmly for the first time all day. "We'll see you later," Kingsley walked out of her room, leaving us alone. She turned around and looked at me.

"I guess we need to talk," the smile was completely gone from her face.

**Anwen POV:**

_Is it possible for today to get any worse? All I wanted when I got up this morning, was to get through meeting with Sirius and then collapse in a heap in my bed and sleep until I could take Harry out on one last outing and then leave the country. Now, I'm standing in a stupid conference room, with the one person that I don't want to be in any room with, having to figure out how the hell I am going to get out of a Ministry planned and financed wedding. I can barely hold the tears back, much less look at him. Part of me just wants to throw my arms around him and kiss him and have him hold me – and part of me wants to hex his bits off. I had wanted to have this conversation once I was better able to handle it, better able to figure out what I wanted. Obviously, that isn't going to happen. _ I looked up at his eyes, _wait, I can see his eyes. His hair is trimmed and he's fairly clean shaved, and he's in robes, I didn't even know he owned any robes. Are those Remus'?_ _There is too much here to take in at once, my head hurts from it all._

"I guess we need to talk," I said to him, trying to keep my face stoic. This was going to be hard enough, without letting my emotions get into it. _I am really not sure that I am strong enough right now._

"Anwen, before you say anything else, please let me tell you how proud I am of you. The Minister of Magic is impressed with your work, that's a huge thing," he smiled at me and I could feel myself breaking. "You are an exceptional Auror." _This was certainly a turn around of attitude._

_He kissed another woman. _I steadied myself when I had that thought. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. I felt my heart stop at his touch. _ It had been this way all day, there was an electricity between us, something that I had forgotten about. When I put the engagement ring back on, I felt the most powerful surge rush through me. You have to push it from your mind, you really don't know what you want yet, remember that._ I looked away when he pulled back. I couldn't look at him right now, the urge to kiss him would have been too great.

"Thank you. I guess we could go to the London house, although I will need to get out the farm before we go out, I don't have any clothes left in London," I said quietly.

"What ever works for you love," he said with a gentle kindness to his voice.

"All right then. Let's go," I started for the door, and he again put his hand on the small of my back to lead me out. My body felt like it would erupt from his touch.

We moved through the halls of the Magical Law Enforcement Department and to the lifts. We rode down in silence, but when we reached the lobby, chaos ensued. There were reporters and photographers there, and they were screaming at Sirius and I. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled in me close to him.

"Mr. Black, do you have any plans to take legal action against the Ministry for their crusade against you?"

"Ms. Hodgson, how do you feel about your promotion? Can you tell us anything about the work that you will be doing?"

"We understand that your wedding will be here at the Ministry? Is it true that it will be a full ceremonial wedding? Can you give us the date?"

Questions were being peppered at us from all sides and I pulled myself into Sirius' embrace. _Even after all of this time, I still didn't like to be touched by people that I didn't know. Too many bad memories._ I think that he could sense this in me, because he spoke up, in a loud voice, while shielding as much of me from the crowd as he could.

"We have no comment. Please, leave us alone." Sirius' voice boomed through the large hall.

He pushed us through the crowd until we came to the Apparition point. He whispered in my ear "hold on, we're almost home," and held onto me tightly as he Disapparated us home. When we reached the back yard, he let go of me and I felt my knees go. A second later, I was in Sirius arms, and he was carrying me into the house.

"Remus, get down here," he bellowed, and I heard Remus' footsteps on the floor coming near us.

"What happened? Why is Anwen here?"

"She collapsed when we got back from the Ministry. Get her some water please," Sirius said as he carried me to the couch in the lounge.

"What was she doing at the Ministry? I left her at the farm," Sirius handed me the glass of water and I took a sip of it. When it hit my stomach, I felt it lurch and handed the glass back to him.

"She was at the same meeting I was called to. They apologized to us, and Anwen got a big promotion. She and Kingsley are going to be heads of a new department," he said with great pride. _He's making this so hard. Kissing another woman, kissing her as he kisses, kissed me._

"You're leaving out the best part," I said sarcastically. Remus' eyes met mine, and I looked at him holding back my tears. "They have offered us the Ministry for our wedding. They want to pay for our wedding, and help plan our wedding and make it a huge event – the wedding that ..." I finally burst and tears started falling from me as my body was racked with sobs. Sirius tried to put his arm around me. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I roared at him, standing up. 'I'M SO ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW I CAN BARELY BREATHE. YOU DON'T GET TO JUST WALK BACK INTO THIS LIFE, LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!" I was shaking I was so upset. Remus came over and put his arms around me, and I collapsed into them.

"Anwen, calm down. You're shaking. Do you feel all right?" he asked me in a quiet voice.

"No. There were all these people yelling at us and touching us and my head hurts and I just feel weak," I kind of whined at him, still crying.

"When was the last time you ate anything?" he said, stroking my head.

"I don't know. When was it that you and Lily force fed me?" he pulled away and looked at me, his arms still on my shoulders.

"Anwen, that was Wednesday. Are you telling me that you haven't eaten in two days?" his voice sounded in shock.

"I'm not hungry."

"Sit down, let me get you something to eat," he said, pushing me down onto the couch. He left the room, and Sirius sat down across from me in the large chair that I used to love to sit and read in. He didn't say anything, he was just looking at me, like I was something that would fracture if he even uttered in my direction. I couldn't stand the look in his face any longer, and busied myself with the sleeve of my robe. Remus came back with a pint of ice cream and a spoon.

"When did you become a girl?" I asked him, taking the chocolate peanut butter ice cream and spoon from his hands.

"Lily told me that you might be needing some of this," I smiled at him. "Do you want me to stick around?"

"No. There's no reason for you to be uncomfortable as well. We're to go out this evening at eight. Would you make sure that I have time to go out to the farm and get dressed before returning?"

"Of course. I'll be out back with Molly," he turned and left. He had brought Molly over this afternoon, after making sure that I was ready to go to meet Sirius. A silent conversation went on between he and Sirius when he exited the room. I took a spoonful of the ice cream and put it in my mouth.

"Anwen, are you really not eating?"

"Sirius, I've barely been living this week," I said shaking my head at him. _How can he be so dense?_ This somehow made him silent. "Look, it's been hard for a while," I kneaded the skin between my eyes again, trying to ease my headache. "What are we going to do? I don't really want to announce that we are no longer engaged, the embarrassment would be unbearable."

"What?" he asked, not understanding.

"There have been all of these rumors. I would hear people talking in the halls at work, or when I was out shopping, or wherever. That you left because you didn't want to marry me, and I was just delusional about you ever loving me. You are after all, the infamous Sirius Black, heart breaker of Hogwarts, the most dangerous and dark," I said with a slight hint of sarcasm. "If we were to announce now, I would be the laughing stock of the Ministry."

"We don't have to do anything for a while. Just go along, see what happens," he said quietly. I put the ice cream on the floor and put my head in my hands. I could barely think let alone come up with any ideas now. I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to throw myself in his arms. _I feel as though my entire being is at war._ We sat there silently for a few minutes.

"Please tell me what is going on in that head of yours," he slid off of his chair and came over to sit on the floor by me. I shook my head at him. I didn't even have the strength to speak. Nothing was said, he just kept looking at me, waiting for my eyes to meet his, which I refused to let happen.

"How did we get here?" I finally whispered.

"We're here because I am an awful, stupid git," he said calmly and quietly with no sarcasm in his voice.

"Sirius, that's the first truly honest thing that you've said to me, but this isn't all your fault. I mean, yes, it's your fault that you were kissing another woman, and I have to forgive you for that, but I'm at fault too. There's a lot that I haven't told you. I wanted to be so strong, that I forgot that it was okay to lean on you. I'm sorry too."

"All right then. I accept your apology, if you will at least consider mine," he said very quietly. I smiled at him.

"I will. I have," I paused, I knew which half of my waring self was going to win. "You're already forgiven, because Sirius, I don't know if I can live without you," the words spilled out of me, and the strong side of me was defeated by the weak, loving side. "But, you have to understand what all of this has done to me? Do you know how awful I felt that night. We had just spent a glorious, passionate night together, I felt closer to you than I think I ever had, and I am sorry that I had to leave, but it was important, and then I came to get you, to bring you home, and I found..." I couldn't say anymore. I took several deep breaths and looked at him. Sirius was crying. I reached over and touched his face, and wiped his tears away. "The image will always be etched in my mind," I told him, knowing that whenever I closed my eyes I saw that beautiful woman wrapped up in the arms of my beloved Sirius.

"I'm not willing to throw everything away just because of this, but Sirius, we have to start over. There are things I have to tell you about while you were away," I looked at him, and our eyes met. "It was a lot harder than I ever let on while I was in Greece with you. I feel...lost," I whispered. In a movement so fast, he knelt and pulled me to him, and curled me into his chest. The feel of his arms around me was just too much to take and I finally gave in and wrapped my arms around him and got lost in his embrace. He was rocking me back and forth, and everything that I had been holding in came flooding out of me.

"I love you. I'll find you, I promise." His words were so comforting, so full of promise.

"You already have," I said between staggered breaths. "I...I...I love you too."

_The worst of it is over, I will be able to be honest with him, finally. He hasn't run away in fear, he hasn't thought less of me for being weak. Perhaps he really does love me, perhaps he still wants me. Do I dare hope, do I dare believe that..._

"Anwen, love, look at me," I lifted my eyes to his and I saw his love there. The passion, the concern, the warmth, everything was there. I staggered for breath. "Then we'll start over. I will court you, I will smother you in grand gestures, and I will let the world know how much I love you. We can move on, knowing where we are headed. Set a date, let them plan our wedding, and I will prove to you that I love you, that I love only you, and that I love all of you. I will never give you reason to doubt me again. Say you will marry me," I had to think, _am I willing to give in this easily? Am I willing to forgive him yet? Can I live if I don't? Will anyone else be able to help me? _The war waged within my mind, and then one final question silenced all the rest._ Do I really need to think about this at all? _My heart knew the answer before my head did. I nodded at him, too weak for words.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered and I nodded again, feverishly. He leaned in to me and I closed my eyes as I felt the gentle brush of his lips. It wasn't like the normal, passion filled kisses of the last few years, it was more like the sweet kiss from my sixteenth birthday, and I felt again like I did that night so many years ago. When we broke apart I laid in his arms, breathing in his breath. Neither of us moved, afraid to break the spell that we knew that we couldn't recast.

"My fair lady, will you allow me to escort you to dinner tonight?" he asked me, with a twinkle in his eyes, when we finally felt it was all right to move again.

"You may," I smiled back at him. "Our first date. We should talk about living arrangements. I think we should stay in our own homes for a while, just until we've had a chance to sort some of this out."

"Of course, but I do want to spend time with you, lots of time with you, talking with you; holding you in my arms. They felt so empty this week. I need to know everything, too, love. No more secrets, from either of us."

"You will," I leaned to get myself up off of his lap, but I lost my balance, and as I spilled onto the floor, knocking over the half melted pint of ice cream. A very cold, sticky puddle formed on the floor, soaking through my robes. "Argh, that is really cold," I said as I bounced up. "Well, now I really need to get myself home. Since you can't get yourself into the wards at the farm yet, why don't I come and meet you here. Do you want to take a cab or shall we Apparate?"

"We'll take a cab, more date like, and it will give us some time to talk. Why don't you get back here around 7:30?" he said, sliding the hair away from my eyes.

"That sounds fine. I will see you in a little over an hour. If you need me, you can Patronus, or even call on the phone. Remus knows the number," I smiled at him, and he returned it. I stood there, looking at him, as if I was seeing him again for the first time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself against him, relishing the strength that he was giving me. I finally broke away and turned and walked through the kitchen, waving my hand over my robes to clean up the mess. Remus was waiting outside for me.

"Everything all right in there?" he smiled, getting up from the ground where Molly was curled up. His put a gentle hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Better than all right. We have a place to start now. I'm going home to change, I'll be back in an hour or so," I walked to the back of the yard, to the side of the garage and apparated to my home.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28:**

**...Is What You Get.**

**Sirius POV:**

I was nearly giddy with excitement as I got ready for dinner. _I had expected her to be angry for a whole lot longer than this. I wonder if it really could be this easy. I still can't believe how dumb I was. Honestly, what they hell were you thinking man?_ I was looking in my closet to decide what to wear. _My muggle wardrobe is in much better condition than my wizarding one. _Since the Greek apartment was a Muggle one, most of my time in Greece was spent posing as a Muggle. I pulled out a charcoal suit that Anwen had insisted I buy for the way that it made my eyes look, and a clean white shirt, I refused to wear a tie to dinner. I charmed the wrinkles out of the shirt and got myself dressed. Again, I secured my hair at the nape of my neck. I looked at the clock, I had nearly half an hour before Anwen was to be back. There was something that I wanted to do first.

"Moony, Moony where are you?" I yelled as I bounded down the stairs.

"I'm right here," he yelled as he came out of the kitchen. "What are you bloody screaming about?" He had a bowl in his hands and was eating something that looked rather disgusting.

"Look, I have to go and get something, but I should be back before Anwen gets here. Keep her here, don't let her get worried if I'm not back before then, all right?"

"Yeah, sure, leave me with the dirty work," he grumbled before he went back into the kitchen.

I walked out the front door, and down to the main cross street. There were several little shops on the street, and I hope that I would find what I needed. My first stop was in the small florist shop, which I hope carried the three flowers that I wanted for her. _Anwen had told me so much about what flowers had meant to Victorian Englishwomen. Her grandmother was a true believer that the flowers you gave, reflected what you felt. She had passed the understanding on to Anwen. _I told the woman what I wanted to represent, and she smiled at me. She arranged the flowers beautifully, and then she tied them up in paper with a lovely bow. I paid for the bouquet and smiled wildly at her as I left. As I was headed back toward our road, I noticed a new, small jewelry store. It hadn't been there when I was here last. _Of course, that was four years ago, so it may not be new._ I walked in, and something caught my eye right away. There was a large display of charms and charm bracelets. I saw the perfect charm immediately, and asked the clerk to get it out.

"Would you like it wrapped sir?" he asked me. I shook my head no.

"I think that I will tie it to these. Hold on a moment though, let me see if there is anything else here." I looked through the cases, and while there were many lovely things, nothing really seemed right for Anwen. _She rarely wears much jewelry, just her rings and her bracelet, which she didn't have on earlier. I hope she wears it tonight._ Then my eyes found it. In the back of the case, there was a rather large, heart shaped, pale pink stone; floating on the thinnest chain. It was stunning.

"It's a pink diamond on a platinum chain," he said, lifting it from the case. I gently touched it. It was perfect, _just like my love_.

"I'll take it," I smiled at the man. His eyes flew open and he seemed to have to cough back his shock.

"You don't even know how much it is. It's quite expensive," he said, sounding sure that I would choose not to purchase it if I knew the price.

"It doesn't matter. Please, wrap that up, but I'll take the charm," we walked over to the register, and before he had even rung up the purchases, I handed him the new credit card that the goblins had made for me when I was in earlier this week. _You have to remember to destroy all of those papers Anwen had drawn up. She is staying on the deed as well as on my accounts._ He handed me the small charm, and I attempted to thread it on the ribbon of the flowers, but my fingers were just too large for the task.

"Here, let me help you with that," he said, handing me back my card as well as a pen and a slip to sign. _Wow, that had been expensive, but it's worth it if it makes her smile._ I quickly signed and handed it back to him. He had secured the charm and retied the ribbon. I slid the card into my wallet, and then took out a fifty pound note, curling it in my hand. The clerk handed me both the small box and the bouquet and I took them with my other hand. I reached out to shake his hand.

"Thank you for your help today. I believe that these will be perfect," I slid the bill into his hand and walked out the store. _That makes two of us who are having unexpectedly good days._ I was grinning like the cat that ate the canary as I walked home. I arrived back before Anwen, and Moony was looking at the items in my arms.

"You know, she doesn't care about the presents, don't you. She would love you, even if you didn't have a penny to your name."

I smiled back at him, "I know, that's why I like to buy her things. She doesn't ask for or expect them. Anyway, she's willing to give me a chance, willing to trust me still, I want her to know that I'm serious."

"Well, of course your Sirius, who else would you be?" Anwen said with a mischievous grin on her face as she entered from the kitchen. _ I hadn't even heard the back door slam. Honestly, I think I need to put a cow bell on that girl sometimes. _ She took my breath away. She was wearing a purple sleeveless dress that fit her tightly through her chest and to her waist. The skirt hung in ripples of the same purple material to her knees. The color made her eyes pop.

"You are stunning," I said gushing at her. She blushed and smiled at me. The only jewelry that she was wearing were her rings, the bracelet and the pair of diamond stud earrings I had given her last year for Christmas. She stood there, just looking at me, while I was awe struck by her.

"Are those for me?" she asked softly, with a slight laugh in her voice.

"Oh, um, yeah, here," I said, handing her the flowers. I slid the box into my pocket. I wanted to give her that when we were alone. Anwen had tears in her eyes.

"White Heather, Purple Hydrangeas and Forget Me Nots. Sirius, you want to protect me, you want me to forgive you and you love me always?" she asked with her voice breaking.

"I knew you could figure it out. Yes, yes and yes," I walked over and gently put my hands on her waist. "Will you let me?"

"I think so. Give me a little time, all right?" she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. I nodded at her.

"We have all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere, ever again. Did you see the front of the bouquet?" she shook her head at me, turning the flowers around so that the bow was facing her. She smiled broadly and rolled her eyes. "In honor of your new job, love. Take it off and I'll add it to your bracelet," she did as I asked and I added the little pound symbol to her bracelet. "For the big bad witch going after all the ill begotten money," I said as the charm took hold, and it dangled from the chain. I kissed her lightly and she smiled. "Are you ready to leave?" she nodded and I took her hand.

"Now you kids, don't be too late," Moony said, trying to sound fatherly.

"I'll be home before curfew dad," she joked back at him, handing him the bouquet.

"Do you have a bag or anything?"

"Nope. I don't need to carry everything and the kitchen sink anymore. Come on, I don't want to be late," we left the house and headed back to the same street where I had just been to do my shopping. The stores were all closing for the night, and there were few people on the sidewalk. I stopped to hail a cab and I saw the store clerk from the jeweler walking by, he looked at Anwen, raised his eyebrows at her and then gave me a broad smile. _I wish she knew just how lovely she is, how other people see her._ We got into the cab and started driving to the restaurant.

"Really, are you sure that you are all right with where things are between us? I don't want to make you upset again," I asked her quietly.

"I think I'm fine Sirius. Honestly, it's much better than it was this morning. You look quite dashing tonight," we sat there in uncomfortable silence for a moment. "Remind me when we get back to tell Remus that Lily invited us all over for dinner tomorrow. It's my day with Harry so I will already be there, but she wants to have a welcome home party for you."

"Your day with Harry?"

"Yes, every couple of weeks, Harry and I go out for a Saturday. He can't really leave the house with his Mum and Dad, they could be recognized, but no one knows what Harry would look like. I take him to museums or to the theater. We've even been down to London, went to the Symphony once. It's our special time together," she was smiling as she was talking about Harry.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, intrigued by this.

"I'm taking him to the Welsh Mountain Zoo. He loves animals," she looked at me with a gentle smile on her face. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Are you sure? I haven't been to a zoo in years. Mr. & Mrs. Potter took us when we were home after our first year," I answered, giddy about the idea.

"I am," she leaned her head down on my shoulder, "it can be our second date."

"I have something else for you, would you like it?" I asked her after a rather lengthy silence. She was looking out of the window, watching London pass by.

"Sirius, you don't have to get anything for me," she tried to protest in a quiet voice.

"I know; but I wanted to. Would you like it now, or should I hold onto it?" I asked her, drawing the box from my pocket and holding it out to her.

"Well, since it's here, I guess that now would be fine," she lifted her head and took the box. She looked up at me a little suspicious.

"Go on, open it," I urged her. She lifted the lid, and gasped. "I figured, since I broke yours, I should give you one that was unbreakable, with the promise that I will never do it again," she fingered the heart and looked up at me, a look of surprise on her face. "It's a pink diamond, and don't you dare say anything about the cost. Money doesn't matter, okay?" she nodded at me.

"Would you like to put it on?" She nodded again and I lifted the necklace and held the delicate chain in my hands. It had a screw together clasp, which I was very thankful for, since I had never been able to get the regular ones open. I lifted one arm over her head and placed the necklace on her, screwing it into place. She fingered the heart and leaned herself into me. I placed my arm around her and held her close.

"Thank you, it's beautiful," we rode the rest of the way in silence. We arrived at the restaurant, and Kingsley and his date were already there. She looked somehow familiar to me. We got out and I paid the fare.

"Anwen, you look lovely," Kingsley said to her. "You remember Amelia?"

"Of course, it's wonderful to see you again," Anwen replied, smiling sweetly. "Amelia, this is my fiancée, Sirius Black. Sirius, this is Amelia Bones, she works in Magical Law Enforcement," I took her hand and kissed it. She blushed and Anwen rolled her eyes at me.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," I smiled at her. "You're Edgar's sister, correct?" she nodded at me "he was a great Wizard, what happened to him was a tragedy. I wish we could have done more to protect him."

"I appreciate that. He always spoke highly of you and Anwen. Said that you were both very powerful and very committed to the cause," I nodded at her.

"Thank you. Shall we go in?" I said, wanting to change the subject. _I really don't like thinking about those last few months before I had to go away. Much of it was so very unhappy._ We were immediately seated and we began to look at the menu. I leaned over to Anwen, "You are going to eat, if I have to feed you. Do you understand?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Yes, I will, I promise; no need for you to make a spectacle of yourself," she smiled at me. A short while later we ordered our dinners, as well as some Muggle beverages. I had ordered a pint and Anwen raised her eyebrows at me, skeptically.

"What?" I said back to her, acting innocently.

"Um, I seem to remember a party that you didn't hold your beer very well at, love," she smirked back.

"That was a long time ago. Anyway, you said I was a happy drunk," _she really had no idea how much I had been consuming of late. I hadn't had a drink since that last night in Greece, I had no intention of getting myself into that situation ever again._

"You were, but I am not going to take care of you if you have the same problems you did the last time," she smiled and stroked my face lightly.

"Anwen, you look amazing tonight. That dress is beautiful and the necklace is just stunning," Amelia said. She was sitting across from Anwen at the square table. Kingsley was across from me.

"Thank you, I found the dress in a second hand shop in Dublin. I don't think that the woman knew what she had hanging there. It's a _Gothe_ from the fifties or sixties, I paid next to nothing for it, and when I took it to the cleaners, the clerk nearly fell over at the sight of it. I love it, and I have been waiting for the perfect night to wear it out. The necklace is from Sirius," she reached over and again stroked my face with the back of her hand. I grabbed her fingers and kissed them.

"Aww, look how happy they are; you are so in love with each other. How long have you been together?" Amelia cooed at Anwen.

"Um ..." I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't really sure.

"It's been nearly six and a half years. Our first date was for my sixteenth birthday." Anwen, of course, knew the answer. I smiled at her, and she bit her lip looking down again. The first course arrived and we began eating. I watched Anwen as I was eating. She pushed her food around, but little of it went into her mouth. _I am really concerned about her. I have to talk with Remus and Lily about it._ She seemed to be looking at something across the room rather intently. She leaned over to King.

"Kingsley, is that the Lord Chancellor over there?" she said, indicating a man on the other side of the room.

"I think you're right. Why? Do you want to go get his autograph?" he teased her.

"No, but do we have anyone on the staff anymore?" she questioned him.

"I don't think so. Amelia, didn't we pull the Auror from the Cabinet staff?" Kingsley asked his date.

"Yes, when we were sure that Voldemort was gone, we didn't think that we needed someone in the office anymore. Why?" Amelia turned her eyes from King to Anwen.

"There's a magical signature over there, in his party, and whoever it is, they've dabbled in dark magic," Anwen answered.

Amelia looked at her surprised. "How would you know that?" she questioned my Winnie. _That's right, not everyone would know that she can see magic. She had always planned to keep it private._

"Um, I'm sorry, I thought that King would have told you. I'm a projecting visualist. I can see magic," Anwen replied, looking a little embarrassed.

"That's amazing. There hasn't been one in, what?" Amelia started

"Over a hundred years," Anwen finished, sounding non pulsed. "Yes, I know. There is only one other alive in Britain. But, anyway, there is someone over there with her that has a magical signature, and it's rather dark."

"You're sure?" Kingsley asked her.

"Yes, Magic is kind of shimmering overall, like there is glitter in it, no matter what color it is. Dark magic leaves a residue on the magical signature, like there is dark smoke in it. That signature indicates that there is some very dark magic in the persons past," she scanned the room, and her eyes fell on a woman in the corner on the opposite side. "There is another one over there," she said, indicating with her head. "Just to be safe, should I throw a shield over him."

"Can you project that far?" Amelia asked her.

"Without any problem, I have a bad feeling about this," she said, Kingsley nodded his head, and I watched Anwen move her fingers slightly. "Done. I'll keep looking around and let you know if I see anything else," we all nodded at her, but the mood of the evening had suddenly changed.

We silently ate our dinners. I hadn't had any decent venison since I left England, and I was thrilled that I was able to order it. Anwen had ordered pheasant, but again, she was barely eating. Her eyes kept darting around the room, and King kept asking her if she was seeing anything.

"Anwen, if you don't eat some of that, I am going to feed it to you," I whispered in her ear. She put a bit on her fork and stuffed it in her mouth, clearly frustrated at me. She dropped her fork.

"The woman in the corner is getting twitchy, her magic is pulsing and she's watching the Lord Chancellor a little too closely. I don't like it. King, why don't you go over and check on his security. I'll go over toward the woman. There's something really wrong here," Kingsley nodded at her and they both got up. King pulled something from his pocket, and it looked like ID. Anwen walked over toward the bar, which was behind the woman who she was watching, and took up residence not far away from her. Amelia slid over to King's chair, so that she could watch more of the room.

"The occupational hazard of dating an Auror; you never get to go out without them being on the job, even when we're in Muggle establishments. It's better than if we go out to Magical places, the two of them get stopped all the time, we never have any peace," she sighed.

_I hadn't actually had to experience this, when we were in Greece, she wasn't an Auror or recognized._ I looked over at Anwen who was still scanning the room, her hand at her side, but at the ready, to hex the woman who she was watching. However, she missed as the woman reached behind her to grab what looked like her wand. I stood up, and stepped out from behind the table and rushed over as she raised her wand. Anwen caught my movement and moved forward. She hexed her from behind, and I grabbed her and pushed her down. As I was looking, her wand transfigured into a small handgun and the Lord Chancellor's security detail moved toward us. Anwen rolled her hand and instantly there was an ID badge in it. They took over wresting the woman, as well as picking up the gun. Another group was hustling the dignitary out of the restaurant.

The room was in chaos, people we screaming and furniture was being slid aside and there were sounds of a car moving away quickly. Two men took the witch into custody and King had his hand on the wizard that was part of the entourage dining with the cabinet member. He motioned Amelia over, and she took over holding onto him.

An agent came over to talk with Anwen. "Who are you?"

"Anwen Hodgson, Military Intelligence," she said, showing them the ID that she had conjured. "My partner and I were here on a quiet evening out with our dates, when I noticed that she wasn't acting quite right. He came over and introduced himself to you, and I came to watch her. My fiancée is the one who got the gun away from her. Here is my card," she produced a Muggle business card from her ID case and handed it to him. His face softened as he looked at it. _I wondered if card is Charmed? He looks like he was Confunded. _ King had walked over to us, and was standing next to his partner now. Amelia was no where to be found.

The agent started talking to her, "We'll need a statement from each of you, but it shouldn't take long. The Lord Chancellor thanks you for your diligence. I am sure that he will want to contact you to thank you personally. Can you wait here for a moment, while we get someone to take your statement?" Anwen nodded at him and he turned on his heel, talking into his wrist.

"Amelia took the other one back to the Ministry. When I can, I'll go and find out who he is, and why he was with the Lord Chancellor. She'll send a team to pick up the witch you were watching. Muggles wouldn't know how to detain her," King spoke quietly to Anwen. "I've removed the necessary memories to protect our identities," she nodded at him. _This was a side of her that I never had seen. She was so mature, and professional. They worked well together. I could see why the Minister was so impressed with them. _Her eyes continued to scan the room, watching everything.

We gave our statements, while the staff and police emptied out the place. When I thought we were close to finished, I went over to get the bill from the staff, but I was told that it had been taken care of, with their deep thanks for averting a potentially damaging situation. I thanked them, and then I waited while Anwen and King took care of everything, and then we began walking out of the restaurant. For the second time today, Anwen and I were accosted by reporters and photographers. The Muggle press must have found out what had happened, and they were waiting for us when we walked out. I stepped in front of Anwen, and Kingsley pulled in closely behind her. We moved as quickly through the crowd as we could, and got into a waiting cab.

"I have really had far too much excitement for one day," Anwen sighed as we had the cabbie drive toward the visitors entrance of the Ministry of Magic.

"Actually dear, it's after midnight. We've now had two days with too much excitement," I corrected her.

**Sirius POV:**

Once we were at the Ministry, Anwen and Kingsley went to work. The suspect that Amelia brought in was already being questioned and a separate team arrived shortly thereafter with the second. I took at seat at Anwen's desk, and looked around. It was, of course, neat and orderly. There were several pictures on her desk. A muggle one of her family that looked as though it had been taken at Niagara Falls. _Not long after Voldemort was gone, Anwen set about to find her family. They had been relocated to Canada, and Anwen went to visit them for a long weekend. She seemed happier once their memories were restored._ There were wizarding pictures as well. One of "our" family – James, Lily, Remus, Anwen, Harry and I; from Harry's baptism. Harry was in my arms, and Anwen was smiling down at the wiggling baby. _Another event that Peter was mysteriously missing from. How did we not see?_ There were two of us there as well. There was an old picture of she and I, in our Quidditch uniforms, her riding on my back. _How old were we then? Was that from her first year on the team? That would have made her twelve and I was what, fifteen or sixteen? I forgot how young we were. _ The other one was from the Christmas when we got engaged. We were standing in front of the big tree at Potter Manor, looking at one another, our arms wrapped tightly. She was looking at me with such love in her face. We were smiling and laughing in both pictures, only in the second one was I willing to kiss her. _I hope that she looks at me like that again, someday._ There were a few personal items on her desk as well. An enchanted daffodil that would always be blooming, a single drachma, a volume of Shakespeare sonnets next to her law books. Hanging on the small board over her desk was a hand drawn picture of a witch on a broom that had short, brown angular hair, much like Winnie's. The picture looked like it had been drawn by a child. _I bet Harry drew his Auntie Winnie._ A drawer sat open, and inside I saw a small Muggle device that played music on something called a cassette. _Anwen and her music._ I marveled at the small space, and how well it managed to reflect my love so very well.

"Hey, I think I'm done here for tonight. They're not Death Eaters, just idiots who wanted to create some mischief. Since King and I won't be here after Monday, we're letting some trainee Auror's handle it," she smiled at me as she leaned against the partition that separated the area she shared with King from the rest of the office. "How would you like to take me home? I might even let you kiss me goodnight?" Anwen said with a smirk.

"Gladly, but which home are you going to?" I asked her, still a little confused by what 'home' would mean. I walked toward her and she reached out for my hand.

"Just come on."

We walked through the now empty hallways toward the lifts. We climbed in and she pushed the button for the main floor. _There isn't anyone here to work them at – what time is it anyway?_ I reached into my pocket and pulled out the watch. Anwen smiled at the sight of it. _It feels warmer than it has all week, _which made me smile. It read half past two. As the car came to a stop, it gave a little lurch, and Anwen seemed to loose her balance. I released her hand and grabbed her waist. I looked at her face, her eyelids were heavy and she looked like she could have fallen asleep on her feet. "Love, are you all right?" I asked her as we exited the lift, keeping one arm around her.

"I'm very tired. I guess I've been sleeping about as well as I've been eating lately," she answered quietly. Guilt welled up in me, and I was wondering if I would ever understand the depths of the pain I'd caused her. We walked in silence, my arm around her to the apparition point. She still did not look fully lucid, so I put both arms firmly on her waist and took her to the house in London.

**Anwen POV:**

As nothingness turned into the back yard in London, the first thing that I smelled was the ripening peaches on the tree behind our house. Sirius' hands were still on my waist and I pulled him towards me, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, and I leaned my head down onto his chest. "Hold me," I whispered, feeling myself near tears. He tightened his grip on me, cradling me to his body. _ I had hurt to hold him for so long, it just felt so good to be able to have him in my arms again._

"Anwen, love, what is the matter?" he whispered, stoking my hair.

"I've missed this so. I've missed you," I whispered back. "Will you hold me tonight? Like when we were young, just hold me?"

"Come on, let's go to bed," he said, releasing me and taking my hand, twining our fingers together. We started toward the door, but I stumbled in the stupid high heels that I was wearing. Sirius lifted me up, cradling me bridal style in his arms and carried me into the small house, up the stairs and to the room that we had once shared. I waved my hand to light the candle next to the bed, and he reached down with one hand, pulled the blanket down and deposited me into the bed.

"Sirius, I'm in a vintage silk cocktail dress; there's no way that I am sleeping in this. Do you have a shirt that I can use? All of my clothes are out at the farm," I said to him, _he must be a dolt if he thought I would sleep in this._

"You could just take it off and sleep in what's underneath?" he said with a familiar smirk and a waggle of his eyebrows.

"No Sirius, this is like when we were younger, long before we got together. That first summer, in my dorm. I just need to know that you're there," I said, surprised as tears began to burn my eyes. He sat down next to me.

"Hey, that was a joke. I was just hoping to kiss you goodnight," he sat down and smiled gently, while stroking my cheek. I nodded at him, and he got up and grabbed something from one of his drawers. It was a Portree jersey.

"I thought that you were a Puddlemere United fan?"

"It was a gift from James while we were still in school. I've refused to ever put it on," I shook my head at him and we looked at each other. "I'll go in the bathroom to change," he said, starting to walk from the room.

"Actually, um, I need your help, I can't unzip it on my own. Anyway, it's not like we haven't seen each other in our knickers, or even without our knickers," I giggled at him, and he smiled back. "It's okay Sirius, we both need to relax," I turned my back to him, and I felt his hands at the neckline of the dress. He slid them under to lift the material and began to slide the zipper down. His fingers grazed my back as they went and they seemed to set my flesh on fire. When he reached the bottom, his hands rested, momentarily, on the small of my back. It sent a shiver through me. Then he kissed the area between my shoulder blades, and silently whispered, "let me know when to turn around" as he handed me the shirt. I nodded at him and slid the silk off my shoulders. I let the dress fall to the ground and stepped out of it. _ I am so thankful that I am in good, but modest, knickers and a matching bra._ I pulled the cotton shirt over me, and waved my fingers at the dress. It flew over to the chair, and rested itself gently on the back of the chair.

"I'm good," I said as I sat down on the bed, working to release my feet from the black, high heeled Mary Janes I'd worn tonight. Sirius had changed into his old tee shirt and shorts, _he hasn't worn those since, well since we had started having sex, _and climbed into bed. He waved his wand, and the candle dimmed, then went out. I slid into the sheets and laid there.

We were in the same bed, but by no means were we sharing it. We were straight as boards, as far apart as we could get from one another, in an uncomfortable silence. Angry tears began to form in my eyes, and before I knew what was happening, I was crying hysterically, my body shaking with anger.

"Anwen..." Sirius said, reaching his hand over to me, tentatively.

"Stop. I'm angry right now."

"I can tell that. You want to tell me why? I thought everything was getting better?" he said, sounding confused.

"I'm mad because this is the one thing that I want, I want it so bad, and it's so hard. I hate that I close my eyes and I see you holding **her**. I hate that you can't hold me to you, and tell me that everything is all right, and that you will keep all the things that scare me away. I loathe that for the first time since we met, I'm afraid to trust you. Even when I've been angry at you, and avoided talking with you, I always trusted you," I sobbed at him. I could tell that he didn't know what to say. "I am so afraid that things will never be better, that we will be stuck in this uncomfortable dance until we can't stand it or each other anymore," I said more quietly, trying to regain my composure. " mostly, I'm just afraid that I will loose my best friend. I don't know how to live without you. I wish I was stronger, but I'm not, and I need you," my voice was growing quieter as I spoke, until it was nothing more than a whisper. After a moment, I felt his arms pull me close and turn my head to look him in the eyes.

"If you think it's a sign of weakness to need someone, then we're in for some really bad years ahead, because this won't work if we don't need one another. A husband needs his wife, and a wife should need her husband," he said to me, softly, his breath caressing my face. "If I could turn back time, and undo what I did, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. I have to live with the fact that I not only hurt the one that I love, but I also hurt my best friend. I made you scared again. I made you not only doubt my love, and somehow, that caused you to doubt yourself. I did that. I have to live with that," he pulled me to him, and gently laid my head on his chest, stroking my head and down my back, trying to calm me. My breathing returned to normal and I relaxed against him.

"I think this is better, don't you?" Sirius said after a while.

"Much. I'm sorry for getting upset earlier," I said back.

"It's all right. There's one thing that we forgot, however," I lifted my head to look at him. " I believe that you were going to let me kiss you goodnight."

"I believe that you're right," I smiled at him and pulled myself up his body, so that my lips were next to his. I stared into his eyes, moving my hand up to touch his face. We both laid there, looking at each other, lips only a hair apart. _This is silly, one of us has to make the first move._ I leaned down, and pressed my lips to his. They began to move together in the most intoxicating way, and I felt my head spin and my stomach fill with butterflies. Sirius was clearly waiting to let me take the lead, so I stroked his lips with my tongue and waited for him to let me in. Our mouths moved together for what felt like forever, my hands knotting in his hair, his moving up and down my back, and when I finally needed to take a breath, I broke away from his kiss, and laid my head back down on his chest. "Goodnight," I whispered.

"Goodnight," he whispered back, wrapping his arms tightly around me, keeping me against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat lulled me to sleep.

**Sirius POV:**

Light was beginning to filter through the drawn curtains in my room, and I knew that it was well into the morning. I touched my wand, laying next to the bed, and summoned my watch and flipped it open, it was 9:37. We were taking Harry to the Welsh Mountain Zoo today, _well, I think that it may be more appropriate to say that Anwen was taking Harry and I._ I turned my body slightly, and I could see her beautiful face. She was sleeping soundly now, but that wasn't the case a few hours ago. She had been thrashing in her sleep, begging someone to stop doing something, repeating the words "she's just a child, please stop," I couldn't wake her, so I finally just wrapped my arms around her, stroking her head, telling her that no one was being hurt. She finally settled herself down, and fell back into a restful sleep, but I laid awake, wondering what had frightened her so. As I look at her now, it's hard to believe what a week we had been through. _It was only a week, a week ago that I had gotten angry at her and nearly ruined everything, forever. There were times this past week, where it felt like a dream that she would again be in my arms, in my bed. I wasn't ever going to let it happen again. I never wanted to have to consider what life would be like without her. _

I gently slipped from the bed, not wanting to wake her. I grabbed my wand and quickly transformed an old, broken quill that was on the floor into a red rose and then wrote a quick note with the good one, and left it with the flower. I threw my clothes on and headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. I opened the cabinets and the refrigerator, and realized that there was nothing here to make anything resembling breakfast with. I went out the back door, and went to walk to the street, sliding between the hedgerows when I saw them. _Is that a photographer in front of our house? Who is that with him? I think I saw her last night at the restaurant? _They were leaning against the holly tree that Anwen loved, looking at the front door, with rather bored looks on their faces. Instead of walking out between our house and Mrs. Couch's, I walked through her yard and out on the far side of her house and across the street. I hadn't aroused their attention, and I quickly headed to the main street.

After I had made my purchases, I headed toward our house, but long before I reached our home, I crossed over, and decided that it would be better to walk along the small alley that the garage was set on. It would provide me direct access to the back door, without a view from the street. As I approached our garage, I saw a man lounging against the rubbish bins for the neighbor across the alley. I didn't recognize him, and from the bored expression on his face, I guessed that he was with the two out front. _Damn, they are scoping out this side as well. _ I quickly ducked into Mrs. Couch's yard, and did a quick disillusionment charm on myself and the items I was carrying home. I slid through the thin spot in the dogwood bushes, into our backyard. I quickly eased myself up the back stairs, and in through the back door. Once inside, I made myself fully corporeal again and headed upstairs. As I reached our room, I saw Anwen sitting up in bed, her legs pulled up against her, her head resting on them, covered by the sheet. She was holding the rose between her hands, looking at it. The note was on the bed in front of her.

"Hi. Where have you been?" she smiled at me.

"I told you in the note, I went to get breakfast. I was planning on making you breakfast, but there wasn't any food here, so I went out to get you your favorites," I reached into the first bag, and pulled out a Styrofoam cup. "Black coffee," I said as I handed it to her, her face brightening with a smile as she straightened up and took the cup. I pulled my cup of tea out and set it on the table next to the bed. I threw the bag on the floor and opened the second one; "and a blueberry scone. I went to the little bakery down on the corner. If you don't want that, I also have a crumpet, a croissant, a raspberry muffin and some sort of a chocolate scone as well," I heard her beautiful bell like laughter, and lifted my head out of the bag to look at her.

"Sirius, blueberry scones are my favorite, and I love that bakery. Give it here," she said, with her hand reaching out. I put the pastry in her hand and she eagerly broke the corner off of it and put it in her mouth. "Oh, it's still warm," she moaned as she closed her eyes. I took the crumpet out and sat down next to her.

"So, what time do we need to get Harry? How are we going to get there?" I asked taking a bite.

"I told Lily I would be there at eleven, but I'm concerned that might not happen on time. We'll have to Apparate, if we were to drive it would take far too long," she said, taking a sip of her coffee and smiling. We continued to eat breakfast in bed, talking about some of the things that she had done with Harry. If she ran into people that she knew, she would just pass him off as a younger cousin or other family member, but it rarely happened, since they stayed in the Muggle world. It helped that no one knew any of her extended family. When she was nearly finished, I decided that I needed to tell her about our uninvited company outside.

"Winnie, when I went out to get breakfast, I noticed a reporter and photographer out front. They have an associate posted at the back entrance as well. I think that they are from the muggle papers, probably about last night." I told her.

"Crap," was all that she said. She sat there thinking for a moment. "I don't really want to talk with them, and I thought that we had used enough memory charms on them all to make them forget what they had seen. I guess that we will need to apparate from inside the house right to the farm," she didn't sound happy about it. "Why don't you go and get yourself showered and dressed, I am going to go and check around my old room to make sure that I didn't leave a pair of sweats or some old dance clothes or something here that would be better than just wearing your shirt back."

"You could transfigure your dress?" I offered as I was getting up off the bed.

"No. That thing is worth too much money to risk something going wrong with a spell. Plus, I would like to wear it again, I really love the color," she admonished me.

"Okay. You're the one that's a wiz at Transfigurations, remember? I'll be quick. What should I wear?"

"It's a zoo Sirius, and it's summer time. Um, jeans and a shirt would be fine," she shook her head at me.

I showered quickly and picked out a pair of jeans that wasn't too badly ripped, a shirt from one of her favorite bands that we had gone to Rome to see and a pair of trainers. I left my hair down and didn't bother to shave off my scruff. She was once again sitting on the bed, still wearing the tee shirt.

"No luck in finding anything?" I asked her as I came in from the loo. She stood to greet me.

"Well, I did find these," she said, standing. She picked up the hem of the shirt, and showed me the little black dance shorts that she had worn out that first night she took me to a cast party all those years ago. "I can't believe that I still fit in them."

"You fill them out much better now," I grinned at her, giving her my best Marauder smile as I ran my hands down her back and onto her bum.

"Hands to yourself, sir. You're supposed to be courting me like a gentleman, remember?" she said, grabbing my hands with hers. Her eyes were giving me that, "don't go there" look.

"Okay, okay. Hands to myself. I get it. Come on, lets go so that you have time to get ready. Where is your dress?" I asked her.

"In my closet. I'm leaving it here, so I have to come back at some point to get it, or you need to take me out again some place I can wear it," she smiled gently, taking my hand and heading toward the stairs.

"Whenever you'd like, I'll take you to dinner in Paris and we'll dine on the Eiffel Tower," I whispered in her ear as we walked down the stairs, gently kissing her cheek. She stopped and looked back and me, her mouth hanging open. I gave her a gentle nudge and she started back down the stairs.

Once we were to the first floor, she stopped in the lounge and waved her fingers toward the front door and then again toward the back. "That should take care of them. I hate doing Memory Charms, but it seems like a necessary precaution now. We couldn't risk exposure. Come on, let's get you out to the farm."

"Winnie love, you don't have any shoes on."

"Because three inch peep toe pumps go well with a Quidditch shirt? They're upstairs with the dress. I don't wear them that often. Come here," she said wagging her finger at me, I stepped close to her and she put her arms around my neck, and then stepped up so that the bottom of her feet were resting on the top of my shoes. "See, my feet aren't touching the ground anymore," she smiled mischievously at me, and I kissed her head lightly. I grabbed her waist and held her to me, appreciating how well she fit against me. "Let me take you to my home," she whispered.

A moment later we were in the sitting room at the farm. It resembled the room that I had been in when I visited her family, but it was different as well. Anwen removed herself from my feet and ran into the kitchen, and then quickly came back.

"Remus must have come out here last night, after we went out, because the lights are on in his apartment. I'll let him know that you're here, and then I'm going to run upstairs and shower and get dressed. The full tour will have to wait for later, all right?" She wiggled her fingers toward the barn and then she took off for the stairs. I walked around the room, looking at the pictures on the walls. Her parents wedding picture was there, along with several of her family, when she was a child. There was a wonderful picture of her, when she was maybe three or four, wearing what looked like it was a white sundress, except that she had gotten into some berries of some sort, and now the dress had great dark stains all over it. Her face was covered in the dark goo as well, but Anwen was smiling brightly, her hair in spiky little pigtails on either side of her head. I heard the back door open, and footsteps on the floor. Remus walked into the room.

"Sirius, I wasn't expecting you. I thought that it was Anwen who rang the bell?" he said, coming into the room.

"She did, she brought me over this morning. She's upstairs getting ready for the day," I said, sitting down on the sofa.

"I see. How was last night?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

"It went...well," I said with a tip of my head. "Dinner was pleasant, although Anwen ate little. Well, it was pleasant until we had to stop an assassination attempt on the Lord Chancellor. She was amazing. We ended up at the Ministry, but I guess it was just some troublemakers behind it. I took her to London because she was dead on her feet," I tried to sound nonchalant about the whole thing, but I was sure that there were questions coming.

"Wait, did you say assassination attempt? How do the two of you find these situations? How was everything fine in London? You didn't hurt her did you?"

"Moony, I swear I will never hurt her again," I told him, a little miffed. _What did he think I would do to her at our house? Force myself on her?_ "Everything was, is, repairing itself. As for the whole Chancellor thing, we were just in the same restaurant, and since Anwen can see magic, she realized what was going on long before anyone else would have," just then, I heard her footsteps on the stairs, coming back down.

"That was amazingly quick," I told her, standing to meet her at the bottom landing. She was wearing a beautiful, flowing yellow sleeveless summer dress that fell just below her knees, and a little pair of white trainers on her feet. She had a huge straw bag with her.

"Magic makes everything easier. I need to grab a few things, and then we can be off. Remus, did the _Prophet_ arrive yet?" she beamed at me, taking my hand in hers and swinging it back and forth.

"I'm haven't seen it," he replied. He moved to look out the window, I assumed to see if the Post Owl was on it's way. "Anwen, who are these people?" he turned to ask her. She walked over to the window and looked out.

"Damn, they're here to. I know her, she's some awful reporter for this nasty witch gossip magazine. Rita Skeeter. She hangs out in the cafeteria at the Ministry, trolling for gossip. She was in the lobby yesterday Sirius. At least she can't get any closer, because of the wards," she sighed. "Come on, we will be nearly on time if we leave now," she opened her bag and looked in. "The only thing that I don't have is my camera," Anwen lifted her hand and in a moment, the camera came zooming towards her. "Just ignore them Remus. There were some Muggle ones at the London house as well. Hopefully they'll all decide to leave us alone," she rolled her eyes. "Oh, Lily wants us all over there for dinner tonight, a welcome home party for Sirius, okay?"

Remus nodded at her, and then pulled her aside, to talk with her privately. I knew from her smile, that he was checking up on her. It was the same one that she had given me for years when I had tried to protect and comfort her. She nodded her head at him and then reached up to pull him down to kiss his cheek. "See you later," she quipped at him. She turned on her heel and stood facing me, her eyes dancing as he left the room, and headed back out the kitchen door.

"Well, shall we be off for our second date? Would you like to do the honors, or shall I?"

"Why don't I, since you have to get us to the zoo," I beamed back at her and offered her my hand. She took it, and pulled herself close to me, wrapping her little arms around me. "That's better," she cooed, as her hands moved up my chest to my head. "You never actually kissed me good morning love," she pushed my head down towards hers, and I willingly let her do so. Her lips felt so soft next to mine, and I was pulled into the bliss of kissing her. After fulling exploring her mouth, I moved mine down her cheek and was headed toward her ear, and her favorite place behind her ear. She suddenly pulled away from me. "No. Come on, let's get going," _damn it, I am so stupid. Screwed that one up._ She took my hand and grabbed her bag. A moment later, we were on the path outside of the house that James, Lily and Harry were living in. The front door opened, and Harry burst out, running toward her. She bent down and lifted him into a hug.

"Are you ready my little man?" she asked him with a lightness to her voice that I was glad to hear.

"Yeah, is Uncle Sirius going with us?" he yelped with excitement.

"If it's okay with you."

"It's more than okay," he said nodding his head violently. "It will be so much fun. Hi Uncle Sirius!" my godson said, nearly launching himself over Anwen's shoulder towards me. I grabbed him and threw him up in the air.

"Hello Harry. Ready for a fun day?" I asked him when I caught him.

"Yup. Auntie Winnie, are we going to take your new car?" he asked her, twisting his little body to face her.

"Not today Harry. I promise, we'll take it out another time. We're going to Apparate today to save some time. Come on, I want to talk with Mummy and Daddy before we go. You need to grab your hat and sunglasses as well," I let him down and he grabbed my hand, and then grabbed Winnie's and we walked toward the door.

"Hey Lil, we're here." Anwen yelled once we were inside the door. "Go get your things, okay?" she told Harry and he went running up the stairs.

"Whose we?" Lily said, walking into the lounge from the kitchen. She stopped when she saw me. "Sirius, I'm surprised to see you here."

"Lily, we're on our second date," Anwen said, diffusing Lily's anger. "Sirius and I have talked, and for a variety of reasons, I've agreed to let him court me. We'll talk about it more later," she said, conveying much more in her voice than the words would have said on their own. Lily nodded at her, and then gave me a look that could only be described as her 'mom' look. I knew not to cross her. _Looks like I will need to build up her trust as well._ Just then, Harry came bounding back down the stairs wearing a dark blue baseball cap and a pair of red sunglasses. I questioned her with my eyes.

"Helps cover the scar and his eyes. They could be recognizable in public," she answered quietly as Harry walked over to his Mum.

"Okay Harry, you know the rules. You keep your hat on while you are outside and if anyone approaches you calling you Harry, you let Aunt Winnie pick you up and she does all the talking, got it. Do not wander off, the zoo is a very busy place," she had bent down to look at her precocious five year old. "And no magic."

"Yes Mummy, I know all the rules," he said, emphasizing the word all.

"If you have to go to the loo, make sure you tell Uncle Sirius, he can take you today, okay?"

"Yes, Mum," he sighed.

"All right, have good time. Dinner will be at six. A few friends will be coming by, Anwen, why don't you plan on spending the night. It will give us a chance to talk," Anwen nodded at her with a smile of understanding. James handed her his invisibility cloak.

"Okay, Harry can you hold onto Uncle Sirius, please?" he launched himself at me and I picked him up. Anwen gently wrapped the cloak around us all and smiled as she put her arm through mine. "Just what I wanted, a day with my two favorite men."

"But, I'm your most favorite right?" Harry asked her hopefully.

"You will always be my most favorite, Harry," she said gently as she smiled warmly at him. "Close your eyes little man, don't want you getting motion sick at the beginning of our adventure," he did, and soon we were all swallowed by darkness.

When the light came back, we were in a small forest just off the parking lot for the Welsh Mountain Zoo. Families were bringing in strollers and picnic baskets. Anwen held onto Harry's hand, and looked around, making sure that we weren't seen, removed the cloak and stuffed it into her bag. We walked out to the blacktop and started toward the gates. "So much easier than having to search for some place to park," she said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a little medallion on a leather strap and slid it over Harry's head, hiding it under his shirt.

"What's that?" I asked her.

"It's a special charm I made for him. If I can't find him easily, I can activate it, and it emits a pinging noise that only I can hear. We've never had to use it, but it's good to have. Even over long distances, I can hear it. If someone were to ever take him, I would be able to track him and find him easier than if I just relied on finding his magic. Even though we're with muggles today, I still think it's good for him to wear it. It's also an emergency Portkey; if he needs to get home, all he has to do is kiss it, and he will be taken back to Lily and James. We're still quite cautious with him," she answered.

"You really think of everything," I told her, impressed at her through nature.

"Being an Auror does have it's perks; I hear about all the new ideas first. Come on, let's get in the queue for our tickets," I took Harry's other hand in mine, and he began to swing between the two of us, laughing brightly. Anwen looked over at me and smiled a warm smile, with genuine love in her eyes.

We toured through the bird area first. Harry kept looking at the Owl there, wondering why it was caged up. "Doesn't she have post to deliver?" he asked Winnie.

She bent down to him and smiled, "Muggles use people to deliver their mail, dear," she whispered back. She took his hand and pulled him along. We looked at the birds of prey, and he pulled her down to him again.

"None of them are as pretty as you," he said quietly. She smiled at him.

"Thank you" she whispered back, standing up. "I agree, love," I said looking at her, smiling greatly; she shook her head and rolled her eyes at me.

"Come on, I think that it's about time for lunch." She took one last look back at the birds, and sighed.

"What's the matter?" I asked her.

"I can hear them," she told me. "They're so sad that they can't fly. I can't imagine..." she said, her voice full of regret. I leaned over and kissed her temple, overwhelmed by her compassion.

We headed over to the picnic table grove, and found one that was well hidden behind a tree. Anwen laid her bag on the ground, and produced a bright tablecloth with big orange flowers on it, and laid it on the table.

"But, Aunt Winnie, we don't have a picnic basket. What are we going to eat?" Harry asked her.

"Have I ever forgotten anything, little man? Now, what is the one thing that I will let you eat that your Mummy never lets you eat?" she asked him with a big smile.

"Grape Jelly. She says I get too messy," the little boy told me, his face nearly engulfed by his smile.

"Well, guess what I have for you?"

"A jelly sandwich!" he squealed.

"Right you are, with the crusts cut off," she produced a plate and a jelly sandwich, crust cut off, cut into quarters. Harry immediately dug in, and I instantly knew why Lily wouldn't let him eat them, there was purple goo all over his face._ He looked a little like the picture of Anwen when she was younger, hanging on the wall of the farm._ Anwen took out sandwiches for us, as well as some cut up fruit and vegetables, a large pitcher of pumpkin juice for Harry and I and a bottle filled with water for her. "Finish up what's on your plate, and then I have something special for your dessert," Anwen smiled at him. I watched in awe of her, and her effortless love and devotion to him. _She is so good with him. She is going to make an excellent mum._

"Anwen, where did the food come from, I didn't see you pack lunch up?" I asked her and she smiled at me.

"I conjured it, silly man," she told me, as if I had asked her what house Harry would be in. I just shook my head at her and couldn't help but grin madly at this amazing witch who was sitting next to me, caring for my godson and giving me a second chance at being in her life.

Harry cleaned his plate off, and Anwen reached into the bag, and pulled out three ice cream cones. She handed one to Harry and his eyes were as big as saucers. "How did you do that?"

"Magic Harry, it's all magic," by the time that we were done eating, Harry was a unmitigated mess. There was jelly and ice cream on his face, and he had dribbled more down his shirt and onto his shorts. There was also a big orange stain from where he had knocked his pumpkin juice over. Somehow he had even gotten ice cream on his hat.

"I'm a mess," he smiled at me.

"Yes you are," I agreed with him. I looked at Anwen, "you planning on taking him home that way?" I asked her.

"Of course not!" she looked around, making sure that no one was looking at us, and she waved her fingers, and all the stains disappeared. "What would you like to see next?"

"The reptiles," Harry answered. Anwen's face seemed to go white with the answer.

"Are you sure?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I think that they're neat. I like to play with the snakes I find in the back yard," she took a deep breath.

"All right then," she said, sounding anything but confident. We got up, and Anwen stuffed the tablecloth and the dishes away in her bag and we headed off to the reptile house. Instead of having Harry between us, I let her hold his hand, and went over to take her other one.

"You going to be okay with this?" I asked her, because it was obvious that she was uncomfortable with something.

"Yeah, I guess," she answered quietly.

"Hey, what's the matter? I never knew that snakes bothered you so much?"

"I'll tell you another time, not in front of Harry okay. Just, don't make a big deal out of it. Please?"

"All right, I'm right here," I kissed her on the temple and she smiled at me. We walked into the reptile house, and Anwen very obviously was trying to keep from looking at the snakes. She stayed in the middle of the room, away from the cases that were on either side of the room. She would look at the other children there, or at the ceiling, anything to keep from looking at the snakes, her face as white as a sheet. Once Harry was done, we walked over to her.

"My favorite is the Burmese Python. He's very sleepy. It's time for him to shed and everyone keeps knocking on the glass," Harry said in a rather matter of factual tone.

"Oh, well, um, all right then," Anwen said loud enough for Harry to hear, clearly confused by what the little boy had said. She looked over his head at me and said quietly, "active imagination?"

We walked with him between us as we toured the rest of the zoo. Anwen took an album full of pictures and Harry began to yawn as we had finally finished the loop of the whole park. I took him into the zoo shop and bought him the biggest stuffed lion that I could also getting a little something for Anwen. We walked back out to her and she looked at me, shaking her head.

"That thing is bigger than he is!" she laughed at me.

"Hey, a true Gryffindor should have a lion in their room. Here, I got you something as well." I handed her the little bag. She pulled out a tee shirt that had an outline of a paw print on it and the words "Dog Lover" with a little heart for the o.

"Very nice, thanks," she said shaking her head at me with an exasperated smile on her face. We were about to head to the gates, when we heard someone calling her name. We turned around and that awful Skeeter woman was coming towards us.

"How did she know we were here?" Anwen whispered, "Get Harry out of here, I'll handle her," she said, turning towards the reporter. I scooped Harry up, and headed away from them. I didn't hear any of the conversation. When we were out of sight, I Disapparated us to his home. Anwen knew how to handle herself.

**Anwen POV:**

"Are you following me?" I barked at her when she was in view. "I saw you outside my house this morning. I still have nothing to say."

"Auror Hodgson, people want to know about the wonderful relationship that you have with your now reunited fiancée," she said in a cloyingly sweet voice, she made me want to hurl. "My readers at _Heard About Town_ want to know about your wedding plans. It will be the social event of the year."

"Why would anyone care? It's not like Sirius and I are that interesting," I said to her, feeling utterly confused.

"Not that interesting, come now. He's been on the lam for four years, you continued to espouse his innocence, and deny that you knew where he was. Then he returns home and you are promoted for the capture of the real criminal. Please, these are the things that modern fairy tales are made of," she said with great enthusiasm.

"There is nothing resembling a fairy tale here, trust me. We are two very normal people, just trying to live a normal, quiet life. We would very much appreciate being left alone," I said calmly, going to turn on my heel and walk away from her. I really wanted to get back to see if Harry and Sirius had gotten away.

"Was that your love child? He looks like he could belong to the two of you," she called after me. I got angry at the comment. I turned back around.

"That isn't our love child, that is Har..." _Oh shit, what did I do?_ "...rvey. My cousins son, Harvey. We we're taking him out for the day. I do it with all of my cousins kids," I said, hoping that the cover story would be enough.

"Harvey you say? Muggle born?" I nodded yes. "Oh well, no one will care if you spent the day with a Muggle child," _That was close and how rude!_ crossed my mind. "You know, I would be more than willing to give you your space, if you would just give me a little bit of information. A scoop would be lovely, something for my readers to sink their teeth into."

" If I don't?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Well, I will just need to continue to look for something. The magazine won't sell itself, now will it."

"So, if I tell you something, you'll leave us alone?"

"Of course dear, I am, after all, a woman of integrity and journalistic ethics," I somehow doubted that, but if it would get her to leave us alone, then it would be worth a shot.

"Fine, Sirius and I will be married, according to Welsh custom, on New Year's Eve. The Ministry will be hosting the event," I said with a rather resided tone to my voice.

"Really, a Ministry wedding. Will you be doing all the customs, or will you be adapting them? There hasn't been a Ministry wedding in a decade. This will truly be the highlight of the social calendar," she was squealing with delight. She looked at me expecting more.

"I really don't know about anything else. I haven't met with anyone yet."

"Well, promise me dear, that when you do, you will give me a call. We would love to run an exclusive about this," she produced a card and handed it to me. I nodded at her, and she turned and walked away, furiously writing on her pad. I stood there, holding the card, clutching my bag for a moment, and then a sense of dread came over me. _What had I done? _ I walked away to a secluded spot, and Disapparated myself to the Potter's. Sirius was waiting outside for me.

"Anwen, are you all right? What did that awful woman want?" he asked me, taking me by the shoulders and looking at me. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Well, ghosts don't scare you. You look like you've seen another snake," I smiled at him for the reference.

"She was following us, but I don't know how she would have known where we were. She thought Harry was our love child, and I nearly spilled the beans about who he is. He's my cousins son, Harvey if you ever get asked," I added.

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad. You handled her well," he smiled at me, taking my hand to pull me toward the door.

"Wait, there is more. I told her we set a date," he stopped abruptly.

"Really?" he said with a great smile. "When?"

"New Year's Eve. It's a Welsh belief that if you marry on that last day of the previous year, you will have a happy marriage. I've just announced that we are getting married in a little over four months," as the words escaped my mouth, I honestly thought that I was feeling sick. _ I'm not even sure that we are ready to get married, and now we have deadline._ Sirius lifted me up and spun me around.

"That's wonderful, I have four months to prove to you that you never need to doubt me again, and that you are the love of my life. Be prepared my lovely lady, I will shower you with love every day from now until then, and then forever after," he sounded like some silly Victorian Romance book. _My grandma Hodgson would be in love with him for it._ He swung me around so that I was riding on his back, like we used to do when we were children. I shook my head at him.

"This isn't very lady like. I can walk you know."

"I rather prefer you like this. Reminds me of the beginning," and he took my hand and kissed it.

"Sirius, what do you know about Ministry weddings?" I asked him, that awful Skeeter woman's words ringing in my ears.

"Not much, but we have some guests here who can probably answer your questions. Come on, lets get in for dinner," and with that, he carried me over the threshold to the Potter's cottage.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29:**

**No More Secrets**

**Anwen POV:**

Dinner was a fun event, it turned into both a welcome home party for Sirius, and a congratulatory event for my promotion. I couldn't really tell anyone about my new work, since I wasn't sure how it was going to differ from what King and I had been doing for the last four years. Albus was there, and he had brought Minerva with him. I was thrilled to see her, but she was over the moon at seeing James, Lily and Harry. Over the years we had considered telling her, but we never seemed to find a good time or reason. Sirius coming home was the perfect prompting; and she was very excited to find out that two of her favorite pupils and their young son were indeed alive and well. We ate and drank and laughed well into the night. Once Harry was asleep I found myself at the dining table, talking with Albus, Minerva, Lily and James about what exactly a Ministry wedding would be. Sirius and Remus had headed back to the farm and the London house to check on the wards, and make sure that the press were nowhere to be found.

"Seriously, it's a three part wedding? It takes place over the course of a month?" I said incredulously. _ I wonder if it's too late to just elope?_

"It's a beautiful ceremony. My sister was married in this way. It incorporates the best of all of our countries heritages, as well as the intertwining of the magic of the two that are married. There are few couples that ever have the chance to have a real, full ceremonial wedding, they are just so hard too organize and they can be expensive, but it would appear that most of that will be taken care of for you," Minerva beamed at me, I still wasn't sure.

"There are some Welsh customs that I would really like to use as well. I think that it's fun when the bride's family 'kidnaps her' and the grooms family has to 'rescue her'," I told them, and then something dawned on me. "Sirius doesn't have any family to speak of, at least not any that he would be willing to associate with. The rest are in prison," I sighed.

"What are Remus and I? Fire Crabs? There's his cousin Andi and her husband," James replied back.

"That does bring up an interesting problem. How are we going to get married when the people we want most to be standing up with us are supposed to be dead?" I asked, looking from him to Lily. She took my hand.

"We've been talking about that. Since most of the Death Eaters have been rounded up, we think that it may be safe for us to come out of hiding. Albus agrees, now that Peter is locked up, most of the danger has abated," Lily smiled at me.

"Really. That would be so wonderful. I can't imagine doing this without you," I leaned over and hugged her. "But, I thought that you would want to protect Harry from all the attention that he will receive? People are going to look at him as the child who got rid of Voldemort."

"We realize that, but we think that our family can continue to insulate him. We want him to go to Muggle primary school as well. There are things that he needs to learn before he goes to Hogwarts," James said calmly.

"Well, then I guess that I need to ask you if you would again, be willing to be my Matron of Honor?" I smiled at my best friend.

"Are you sure you want me? I thought that you might want Liddy, now that they don't have to be in hiding from Voldemort," she smiled at me with such deep understanding as she spoke.

"Minerva, correct me if I'm wrong, but the first and second parts are magical ceremonies, correct?" she nodded at me. "My sister would be unable to stand with me, since she is not magical?" Again, she nodded in assent. "Lil, she can be a bridesmaid for the final ceremony, but I need a magical matron, to do all the parts with me. In fact, my side of the family will be pretty small for those ceremonies. James and Remus will be with Sirius, along with his cousin, if he chooses, so that will leave me with just you, unless, the two of you would be willing to fill in as my magical family," I said, smiling at Minerva and Albus.

"Oh, Anwen, I would be thrilled. I am so honored that you would ask," Minerva smiled at me, tears coming to her eyes.

"Anwen, there would be nothing that would bring me more pleasure, thank you," Albus smiled at me.

"Okay, well, that's one thing down. Man, I hope that there is a book about this stuff somewhere, because it sounds like there is a lot that needs to be done," I was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

"Winnie, the Minister's office will help, and you've got me, we will be fine. Now, I want to hear about these Welsh traditions. Honestly, the bride's family kidnaps her on the wedding day? Really?" Lily asked me, very interested. I went on explain the tradition, that it was somehow to prove that the groom was worthy of his bride. If the family member who helped free her wasn't married, the tradition was that they would be the next one to be married, often within the year. While I was talking, Sirius and Remus returned. Sirius came and straddled the chair behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Remus pulled up a chair and sat at the far end of the table.

"I think it sounds fun, and honestly, if the infamous Marauder's are the ones trying to save me, I have no doubt that Sirius will be found worthy of my hand," I smiled back, _I can only imagine what the three of them might pull, God help us all._ "Oh, Remus, since you're the only one not married, if you save me, you'll be the next one married" I giggled at him. He looked mortified at the idea.

"Anwen, I think we can all safely say, that I am, and will always be, single. No one wants a husband with a 'furry little problem'." We all laughed at him, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. I knew that since Eva's disappearance over four years ago that he'd had no romantic life. It would be a unique and strongly-willed woman who'd ever get him to drop his guard again and let her in. I had faith that it would happen, though. _One day, he will meet someone who sees him for the gentle man that he is, I just hope that he's smart enough to let her love him._

"There are some lovely Scottish traditions too, Anwen. The tartan ceremony is very touching. Are there any other Welsh ones?" Minerva asked me.

"There is one, but I doubt that Sirius would ever do it," I said, looking over my shoulder at him.

"I'll do anything, just tell me," he said, smiling at me.

"Well, it's tradition for a Welsh man to carve a wooden spoon, digging out parts of the wood, until it resembles a heart or a bell, or even with a small scene on it. It proves his dedication to taking care of all that his new bride will need. I always found it very romantic as a child. I know it would mean a lot to my Ma. Hers always hung in the kitchen. I salvaged it from their home after the explosion and took it back to them in Canada last time I was there," Sirius rested his chin on my shoulder.

"All that you heart desires shall be yours," he whispered at me as he kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly. _ He's saying all the right things, but will it last? _

**Sirius POV:**

I was sitting on the bed in the guest room at the Potter's Cottage. Albus and Minerva, _Anwen may be comfortable calling them by their first names, but honestly, it felt odd to me, _had flooed back to the school and Remus had chosen to return to the farm to watch it. Lily wanted to talk with Anwen, so James and I had played some Wizard chess in his study, but he had finally needed to get some sleep, and had gone up to his room. Lily and Anwen were still in the lounge, talking by the fire. I had come up here to wait for her.

_I can't believe that we have a wedding date. It was just yesterday that she was trying to end everything, and now, we have a firm date for our wedding, and she seems pleased with it. Some of these plans are a bit much, but if they make her happy, then I will agree. I wish I had someone to talk with about this spoon thing. Maybe there is someone that can teach me around here. I wonder if I walked into the village if I could find out how to do this. I'd also like to understand this kidnapping thing._

I closed my eyes and began to daydream about the wedding. _ I had been to a handfasting before. Both Bella and Cissy had handfasted with their husbands, but even they were not welcomed to have a full ceremonial wedding, due to the rather idiotic positions on blood status that their new husbands espoused. Pureblood mania was underground in the early seventies. There might be many people who agree with them, but, the Ministry couldn't publicly endorse outright bigotry. Of course, that changed as Voldemort gained more power and prestige. Since his demise, things have returned to normal, at least in the case of Muggleborns. If only that were true for others, like Remus._

_I wish that I could see my cousins faces when they found out that I, and more importantly, my Muggle born fiancée would be welcomed to have the complete Ministry promoted treatment. _I thought about what my beautiful Anwen would look like, and then thought about other things, including the wedding night. _There are parts of me that ache for her._ I heard the door open, and she walked in, looking dead tired.

"I thought you went back to London," she smiled at me, kicking her shoes off and climbing on the bed.

"Nope. There is no way that I was going to sleep alone, unless that is that you want me to leave. Then, I will," I said to her earnestly.

"Well, since your here..." she said, her voice thick with mock annoyance. "...I guess you can stay." Anwen laid herself down against my chest, her head resting in the crook of my arm and chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

"You're going to sleep in that dress?" I asked her, cocking my one eyebrow.

"No, just watch," she waved her hand over it, and it became a short, purple cotton nightgown. "Much better," she moved her hand over her mouth and gave me a big, toothy smile. "My teeth are clean as well now. You gonna sleep in your jeans?"

"No, but I have never been as good at Transfigurations as you have," I smiled back at her.

"Here, allow me" she waved her hand over me, and my jeans transformed into a pair of black cotton shorts. She ran her fingers over the skin on my lower thigh. "You really should wear these more often. Your legs are quite, um, wonderful," she said with a devilish grin. "Would you like me to brush your teeth as well?"

"No, I can handle that, thanks," I picked up my wand and cleansed my mouth. "Ready for bed?" she nodded at me, and I used my wand to extinguish the one remaining lamp in the room. We peeled back the blankets and climbed in. Anwen curled herself into me, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"It was a week ago that I was sobbing in this bed. I am so much happier to be here now. I love you Sirius, I really do," her fingers were tracing the planes of my chest over my shirt, and her touch was driving me wild.

"I love you Anwen. I am so sorry for what I put you through."

"I know you are. We're moving past it, and you seem very excited about the wedding. Are you?"

"I am. You know, it sounds like few couples get this chance, and I think that we should embrace it and enjoy it. Of course, I would marry you in a barn, as long as it meant that I could be with your forever," she turned her head to look at me, and it was there, that look of love and adoration that she had in the picture from our engagement. I pulled her to me, and kissed her with all the passion that I could muster. A few minutes later, just as it was getting really good, and I was moving my hand down to reach under her nightgown, she stopped me.

"Sirius, we need to slow down. I have a proposition for you," she said, pulling herself away from me slightly.

"Is it indecent?" She swatted me with her hand.

"No, it's very decent. What would you say to waiting for our wedding night, before we, um, were fully intimate? I'm not ready yet, and this way it really would be something special. Our wedding night would indeed be the beginning of our new life together. It's only four months," _Four months, four bloody long months. Suck it up Sirius, it could be worse, she could have told you that she wasn't ever going to have sex with you again. _I sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm not saying were not going to do anything, we both know there are a lot of things to do besides that. There are some that I rather enjoy a great deal. I just want to take it slow and it would make our wedding night special," I believed that she was blushing as she talked, but it was hard to tell in the dark.

"Is that thing with your tongue out of the question?" I could see that she rolled her eyes at me.

"No, I'll do that, sometime. But not yet."

"Then if it makes you happy, this is what we will do," I leaned down and kissed her rather chastely, and then I stopped.

"Hey, I said that we would take it slow, I didn't say that we'd be monks. Get back over here," and she again captured my lips with hers, and we kissed well into the wee hours of the morning.

A few hours later, I was awoken with Anwen tossing and turning in the bed next to me. Her breathing was erratic and she was covered in sweat. She kept moaning, but she wasn't making any sense. I reached over to touch her, but when I did she bolted upright, screaming. I sat up and grabbed her shoulders.

"Anwen. Anwen love, you need to wake up," she was shaking so hard it appeared that she was having a fit. She turned her head and looked at me, absolutely terrified.

"Sirius?" she screamed.

"Yes, love. I'm right here," before I could do anything else, she scrambled over and pulled herself into my lap. She was still shaking and breathing so hard that I was concerned that she would hyperventilate. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her quivering body to mine.

"Hold me, please don't leave me, please. Please. Please. Don't leave," she sounded so pitiful and frightened.

"Shh. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you. Come on, calm down," I rocked her gently, stroking her while still holding her to me. She continued to whimper and plead with me, but eventually she settled herself down. I wanted to ask her what had her so frightened, but I was afraid if I did so now, she would just start all over again. Eventually, she calmed down enough that we were able to lie back down. I curled her little frame against me and I held her tight, whispering to her until I was sure that she had fallen asleep again.

It was late morning when she finally roused herself. She rolled over and looked at me, her eyes filled with worry.

"I'm sorry about last night," she whispered at me.

"Anwen, it's okay, you had a nightmare. I just wanted to know what had you so frightened," I took my hand and stroked her head. She took a deep breath and looked down at the sheets, as if they were the most interesting thing in the world to her.

"Sirius, it hasn't been easy these last few years, rounding up the Death Eaters. Beyond being followers of Voldemort, most of them are sadistic and cruel all on their own," she said, speaking softly, looking away from me. I wrapped her up in my arms, so she was again laying against my chest, my free arm holding one of her hands, the other one stroking her back.

"There aren't many female Aurors anymore. They went after us during the war with a vengeance, or maybe for sport. It was like they got extra points for offing a woman in authority. In the end, I ended up having to carry a fair bit of the load; there are jobs that they save for us, and given my past, it was easy for others to open up to me," she paused again, taking a deep breath that raked through her lungs. "They send female Aurors out to talk with women and children; ones that survive the attacks," she paused again, and I just waited for her to continue, knowing if I asked questions, it would make this harder on her.

"Men like Rodolphus Lestrange or especially Lucius Malfoy are vicious. As their atrocities became known, someone had to go and interview their victims, and help prepare them for trial. I had to do more than my fair share of these, and I can't seem to get rid of the images. I had to watch their memories, and it was like reliving what happened to these poor women; not even getting into what they would do to children. Sirius, it's depraved," she had started to cry again, and I pulled her even tighter into my body.

"Their screams echo in my head and I see what's happening with their eyes. It reminds me of that day in Hogsmeade, and as badly as I want to forget, I can't seem to be able to. I don't understand how anyone could be so cavalier with another human being. I'm sorry I'm telling you, it just...I need to talk with someone."

"Hey, you can tell me anything, remember. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this," there wasn't anything else that I could say. I held her for a while, and when she started to calm down, I spoke again.

"Does your snake thing have to do with all of this too?" she nodded her head against me, and I heard her take a deep breath.

"Lucius would charm snakes to..." she shuttered and then calmed herself again "...to violate women and girls, and if they moved at all, or screamed, or tried to break free, he would make the snake bite them, wherever it was at the time. It's about the worst thing that I've seen, and believe me, I have seen some awful things. I can't stand snakes anymore. The sight of them makes my skin crawl," I continued to stroke her back and whisper at her, calming her down.

"How is he still free?" I questioned, knowing that it sounded as if there was enough to put him in Azkaban for many years.

"He's been able to intimidate or bribe or kill off enough witnesses to evade most of the trials. He has some very talented solicitors on his side as well. In addition, I'm convinced that his money has greased some of the wheels of justice in his favor. Now, the statute of limitations on most of his crimes has passed. He knows were watching him now, so he's either gone underground or curtailed his activity," she rolled over to look at me. "I hate him. I hate what he's done and I hate that I have to know that such things exist in the world," I had never seen her eyes so dark, it was almost frightening.

"Is there anything else?" I asked. She hid her face from me, burring it in my chest.

"No, that's about it. I mean, I am still afraid that you are going to leave me. Shit, I shouldn't have said that, it just sort of tumbled out. I'm sorry if I've upset you, I know I should have dealt with this better," she sounded so defeated and small. I lifted her head to look at her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. That is too much for anyone to be carrying alone; and now, you don't need to do it alone anymore. You will never, ever be alone again, I promise," I leaned down and kissed her gently. She settled herself lightly on my chest when we were done.

"It should be better now, I doubt there will be much torture when dealing with financial records," she sighed. "That's part of the reason that I had put in to be moved to the diplomatic core. It would be something different, and away from everything that I'd seen and felt."

"Well, then the move is probably a good one, for many reasons," she nodded against me, and we settled into a comfortable silence. _How did she do this by herself for all of these years? How did she keep this from me? _"Anwen, when we were in Greece, I don't remember you having nightmares."

"They weren't so bad there. I still had them, but they were less frequent. I think it's because you were with me, and I knew that no one could get me there. Here, Lucius is still free, and if the Lestrange's were to ever get free...well I wouldn't survive if either of them ever got hold of me. Unfortunately, I can imagine what they would do to me. I wouldn't want you to find what was left," she sounded so resigned. There was a distance in her voice that I found disturbing. _She had always been the innocent one, my little one. Now, there was a darkness to the world that I suspected existed; but I had never seen. She has lived it nearly first hand. _My heart hurt for the loss of some of her sweet, wide eyed view of the world.

"Did you talk with Amelia or King or even Minerva about any of this?" she shook her head against me. "What about Remus or Lily and James? They would have listened, you're their family," I couldn't believe that she had held it in all this time.

"I couldn't burden anyone else with it, Sirius. I feel bad enough that I had to tell you. No one should know that these things exist. We promised that we would be honest, and that means that I can't keep these things secret anymore," her warm tears were soaking into my shirt and she was trembling against me again.

"Anwen, you can't be shoulder this alone. I'm glad that you told me. You have to promise me something. You have to take care of yourself. Now that I know, you have to promise me that you'll eat, at least once every day, and if you wake up at night, you'll wake me up too. Is there anything else that you're frightened by?"

"I'm not sure that I will ever feel safe again Sirius. I don't think there is anywhere in Britain that I would be safe," she whispered.

"There has to be somewhere love. I'll keep you safe, I will always keep you safe," I vowed to her.

"Thank you," the quiet settled on us again, and I began to ponder how exactly I would do that. I had an idea.

"Anwen, what do you have planned today?"

"Sleep. Figuring out which house we are going to live in. More sleep. Probably try to eat something, because I don't want Lily to force feed me again. Why?"

"Can I take you somewhere?"

"Like a third date? I don't know, you're coming on a little strong here?" The lightness of her voice let me know she was joking.

"No, I wouldn't call this a date. I want to show you something...something from my childhood." She lifted her body, tilting her head, staring at me.

"Really? I didn't think that there was anything that made you happy from your childhood?"

"I wouldn't say it makes me happy, but, I think that it could serve our needs well. What do you say?"

"All right, maybe after we have some brunch. I want to eat. Come on, we can go back to the farm, I'll cook you a full English and we can get changed and figure this stuff out. I guess we should talk about the wedding too" she smiled at me, pulling herself into a sitting position.

"That sounds lovely. Are you sure that you're better?" I asked her, cradling her face between my hands, stroking her cheeks. She smiled at me, but it seemed to have lost some of it's luster.

"Yeah. Thank you. It's better knowing you're here."

"Forever love," and I kissed her.

We got up and Anwen transfigured our clothes back. She quickly cleaned the sheets and made the bed. We headed downstairs and thanked James and Lily for their hospitality. Lily even smiled as she saw Anwen take my hand as we prepared to leave. We both said goodbye to Harry, promising that we'd back tomorrow to fly with him.

Anwen went directly to the farm and I went into London. We both showered and changed clothes, and by the time I had returned to the farmhouse, Anwen had a large brunch all ready. We ate, read the_ Prophet_, in which there was a rather large article announcing our marriage, which said absolutely nothing of any substance, except that we would be having a full ceremonial and Ministry designed Wedding. There was also an article announcing the creation of the Financial Crimes Department, headed by Anwen and Kingsley, including an absolutely awful picture of the two of them, apparently taken after they had apprehended someone as they both looked disheveled and dirty.

"Great, that's a lovely picture of the two of us. I'm muddy and have a twig in my hair. Why can they never put a decent picture of me in this paper?" she said, rolling her eyes, "Do I really look that short standing next to King?"

"Anwen, he's taller than I am, there's like a foot and half difference in your height and he's got to out weigh you by one hundred fifty pounds. Yes, you look that short and tiny next to him," she swatted me with her hand.

"Thanks love, that was helpful," she mused back at me. "Do you think we could have a formal engagement picture taken, so at least for once, there would be a decent one of me in this rag?"

"I think that's a splendid idea. Make the appointment, and would you wear your purple dress?"

"Sure dear, but you have to get some dress robes, maybe in a dark gray. I love the way the color makes your eyes look," she smiled as she leaned over to kiss me. "So, where are you taking me?"

"London."

"Wow. How thrilling. It's not like we live there or anything," she said sarcastically.

"I don't want to give too much away. It's a surprise. Are you ready?"

"Yup, let me just get these dishes started and then we can be off. Am I dressed okay?" she said, clearing the table. She looked alluring in some cut off shorts and a tee shirt that bared just a hint of her midriff. I desperately wanted to kiss the soft flesh it exposed. She'd pulled her hair up in some sort of a headband, and it was gently curling around her face, and I wanted to tangle my fingers in it. _Dear God, now that I can't have sex with her for a few months, all I'm going to want to do is have sex with her._

"You're fine," I nodded my head at her. _Probably overdressed, given the condition of the house that we are going to, but I'm not going to tell you that now._

We cleared away the dishes, and she put a cleansing spell on them, and I scooped her into my arms and apparated us both to a small park in Muggle London. "Tada," I said, holding my arms wide.

"It's a park, lovely Sirius," she said, sounding throughly unimpressed. I took her hand and pulled her away from the park toward the row of houses.

"Notice anything?" I could tell she was looking at the houses, but she wasn't seeing it.

"They're typical houses?"

"Here read and memorize this," I handed her a slip of paper, she opened it and read: Sirius Black owns Number twelve Grimmauld Place**.** I knew when she had finished, because her eyes got wide as she watched the house pop out from between numbers eleven and thirteen.

"Sirius, what just happened?" she gasped. I took the slip back and incinerated it.

"Welcome to my childhood home. It's unplottable, charmed and protected with every known spell to Wizarding kind. Come on, I want to show you around. We might want to live here someday."

I took my wand out and taped on the serpent on the door, it lifted it's head and looked at me, and then the door released from it's latch and popped open a few inches. "Come on in," I told her, but Anwen was still looking at the snake on the front of the door. "It's a charmed door, you have to be let in by the secret keeper, which you now are, since it's me." She still wasn't moving. _Crap, the snake thing._ I turned her so that she was looking at me. "My family was all in Slytherin, all of them, for generations. I was the oddball, remember. There are snakes everywhere, but none of them are real. If it gets to be too much, let me know and we can leave. I'll hold onto you, I promise," I smiled down at her, wrapping my arm around her, and she returned a half hearted smile to me.

We walked into the entryway, and Anwen's eyes were as big as saucers. She was looking at the pictures of the family members hanging on the walls, as well as the portraits of the family patriarchs hanging there. Most of the frames were empty, their residents inhabiting another portrait, where I assumed, people were living. I pulled her down the hallway, and we stopped to look in the dining room. She marveled at the china cabinet, full of the family china with the Black Family Crest on it. _ I am somehow thinking that the 'Toujourus Pur' will make her laugh._

"Well, at least the crest doesn't have snakes on it. We would never use these if it did," she shuttered a little. "The forever pure, that's quite a laugh with me, isn't it. Sorry love, you're sullying the family tree. I love the table though," she beamed back at me, running her hand down the inlaid table top. I didn't want to tell her that I hated the constellation Orion that made up the inlay. I had no warm memories of my father.

"Not sullying it, strengthening it love. You will help me redeem my family name," I said, kissing her lightly. "Speaking of the family tree, I need to show you something." We went back into the hall and I pulled her toward the stairs at the end, but before we reached it, I heard familiar screaming emanating from the largest portrait in the hall.

"How dare you enter this house. You have no right to be here. You are no son of mine, and who is that? Is she that girl that your brother told me about? What is that filthy mudblood doing in my home?" The picture of my mother was screaming at me. I took out my wand and tried to silence her, but I had no luck. Anwen was just staring at her bright eyed.

"It's pleasant to see you again mother," my voice thick with sarcasm. "This is Anwen, my fiancée," I said, waiting for the screaming to start again. Anwen opened her mouth to speak.

"Mrs. Black it's a plea..." Anwen spoke politely.

"Do not speak to me, you little Muggle born piece of trash. Your brother told me all about her. I read about you in the papers as well, thought you had finally done something right. Joining the Dark Lord, knew it was too good to be true. You have no business in my home. Get out, get out of here both of you, and never come back," she screeched. Anwen had a look of utter horror on her face. I pulled Anwen aside.

"Sorry about that. I wasn't sure if she would be awake yet. Sometimes it takes portraits a few weeks to adjust to being animated, especially if they were painted a while ago, like this one was. Wouldn't you know she'd be awake nice and early? Ignore her, please." I tried to silence her, but I can't. You want to try?" She nodded at me halfheartedly, and lifted her hand and closed her eyes. Anwen exhaled, and a minute later, the incessant noise of my mother stopped. She was still moving her mouth, but nothing was coming out.

"What did you do?" I asked her with a smile creeping across my face.

"I put a wall around her and then wrapped her in a bubble. It's the same thing I do when I seal a room. I don't know if it will hold once I'm not here, but while I'm in the house, we can't hear her," I lifted her into my arms, pulling her tight, and kissed her deeply, right in front of my mother's portrait. When we broke away, my mother was sobbing greatly. I threw my head back and laughed. "Come on," I said, taking Anwen by the hand and then continuing our way to the staircases.

"The kitchen is down there, along with the pantry and some storage. You can get to the back yard through that door there," I said pointing toward a small door to the right of the downward stairs. "That door there," I said, pointing toward the one in the middle "is a small water closet and that last one, down there is a coat room," she nodded and smiled at me.

"The chandelier is beautiful, but the black and silver flocked wallpaper has to go. Did anyone ever think that it was fashionable?" she said rolling her eyes at me. We started up the stairs, but she stopped short when she looked up at the wall. "Sirius, what the hell are those? Did someone behead those house elves? They're ghastly."

"Um, yeah. Tradition started a long time ago. Kind of ..." I started

"...disgusting and cruel and disturbing beyond belief," she finished, as she gripped my hand tighter as we continued upstairs. "They'll go with the wallpaper, love. I will not live with **that** on my walls," she said, shaking her head for emphasis. _She is really thinking about this. I'm surprised, but at the same time, sort of happy at the prospect._

We reached the landing and I took her around the banister. "Here is one bedroom, my grandmother stayed in this one until died. I think that it was originally to be a study, but she was old and couldn't get up and down too much, so she stayed on this floor," I opened the door and she peeked in and nodded. "Over there," I said, pointing on the other side of the stairs "is the bathroom for this floor. It has a lovely bathtub, large enough for two," I said, wagging my eyebrows at her. She smiled slyly at me. _She enjoys water games as much as I do, what a woman. _ "Now, these are the rooms that I think you will like. This is the ballroom."

The room took up most of the whole side of the floor, and was directly above the dining room. It had floor to ceiling windows, on which hung heavy and somewhat decrepit gray drapes. A huge fireplace took up the end nearest to us, and there was a small stage at the far end for the orchestra. "Back in that corner there, there is a door to the bedroom," I said pointing at it, "and over there, that indentation in the wall, that's where the dumb waiter is. I used to get out of more hot water by riding it up from either the kitchen or the dining room. My father couldn't catch me then, and I was soon up in my room without him being able to get at me," I smiled at her, _it was one of the few good memories I had of this house._

"I love it. I never thought I would have a house with a ballroom in it. It seems to big for the house," her eyes were dancing with delight. She pulled me into the room and made me hold her as if we were dancing. I began to spin her around the room, and she threw her head back.

"It's charmed. You can do anything with magic, love. Come on, one more room on this floor," we left the ballroom and I took her down the rest of the hall to the door of the Drawing Room. It had windows that overlooked the street and a fireplace between them. The rest of the wall housed glass-fronted curio cases. The room had a several sofas, chairs and a moth eaten chaise as well as my mother's desk. "This is the Drawing Room. I wasn't ever allowed in here as a child. Broke too many things before I was banished from the room. Come on, three more floors."

"Three? How tall is this house? It didn't seem that big from the street," she said with a horrified look on her face.

"Magic, Anwen, the house is magical," I smiled at her again. _How does she keep forgetting these things?_

"Speaking of magic, you do realized that this room is dripping in dark magic. It's seeping out the walls and cabinets and I can even hear things moaning in here."

"If we decide to live here, we'll get it all removed. Bring in curse breakers, and Magical cleaners and such. Don't worry, it would all be gone before we ever moved in," I told her and she smiled at me.

We went to the second floor, where there were two more guest rooms, as well as the library and the small office that my father used. Anwen was interested in some of the books, but there were others that she suggested either be taken to the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry, or just destroyed. I nodded at her, _that would be a good job for the Auror in the family to take care of. _ There was another full bathroom on this level as well.

The third floor had the master suite taking up the entire front of the house. Beside the bedroom, in contained the en-suite loo and a sitting room. A cleaning closet, linen closet and small guest room were the only other rooms on this floor. As we walked through the master bedroom, I couldn't help but look at Anwen's face.

"Sirius, that has to be the biggest bed that I have ever seen. It's makes ours look tiny. Was it built in here?" she said, looking at the oversized bed in the center of the room. I hopped up on it, but Anwen was too short, and had to resort to the small set of stairs next to it, for just such use.

"It probably was. Here, lay down for a minute, you have to see the canopy," I laid down on my back, with my hands behind my bed and Anwen laid down next to me. When she looked up, I heard her gasp.

"Sirius, I've never seen anything like it," she said breathlessly.

"I'm sure you haven't. It was created by my great, great, grandfather back like two hundred years ago. It shows an accurate night sky, I used to love to sneak in here in the winter, when Sirius was in the sky, and look at it floating over me. It was hard to see the real stars outside, so this would have to do," we laid there, watching the stars float overhead. A shooting star flew across the canopy, and Anwen let out an excited sigh.

"Did you make a wish?" she asked me. "If you wish on a shooting star, your wish will come true. At least that's what Muggles say," she had turned her head toward me. I rolled my body over onto my side so that I could look at her.

"I have nothing left to wish for, everything I could ever dream of is right here," her breath caught, and I could see her eyes getting wet.

"You say the most beautiful things sometimes," I leaned down and kissed her. I caressed her lips and I felt her tongue dart out of her mouth to return the favor. I laid myself down on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around mine, creating delicious friction between us. I pushed against her and she moaned from the contact, and in that moment I debated pushing her waiting rule; but decided against it. I ended the kiss and pulled her off the bed. "Come on, there are only a few more rooms," I took her hand and we walked up the final flight of stairs.

"This used to be one large room, the nursery, when we were young. Our nurses bed was up here with us. Reg and I drove so many away, that Mum finally had to enslave a Squib to take care of us. One of the finer moments in my family history," I said full of mock pride. When we got of a certain age, Dad split it into two rooms. This one belonged to Regulus," I opened the room, and Anwen looked in briefly. The room was in the household colors of black, green and silver.

"Can we just throw everything in there out?"

"Yes, well, can we keep the bed frame? It's very beautiful?" The mahogany canopy bed was impressive in it's size and design. I could see our daughter sleeping in it, drowning in pink and white linens.

"I guess, but anything that was his, I want no part of," she said with a coldness in her voice that surprised me.

"Okay," I said as we stepped back into the small hall. "That's the loo for this floor. No tub in there," she grinned at me. "This, was my room," I said opening the door, walking in to the room that was strikingly different than the rest of the hosue.

"This looks like the common room in Gryffindor tower, love. I fully expect to see my favorite chair in here somewhere," she beamed at me, walking over and bouncing down on my childhood bed. "I like it. The red and gold make it very, homey. Not so crazy about those posters though," she said, pointing over at the Muggle posters of girls in bikini's. "I can't even transfigure myself to look like that," she shook her head at them. "Oh, look at the pictures. Is that you and James?"

"Yeah, we were like eight. We were friends when we were kids, and always liked each other," she slid off the bed and was studying the picture.

"Did you always worry about your hair so?" she giggled at me.

"Now, now; be fair," I came over and wrapped my arms around her waist and put my chin on her shoulder. There were other pictures there as well. One of the Marauder's, although I think we both glared the sight of Peter, and one of the Quidditch team, her second year. She was waving back at us rather animatedly. "Come here, I want to show you a secret," I pulled her over to where the one small window was on the far side of the room. "Put your hand here," I said, pointing to a spot on the wall. Anwen reached for it, and was surprised when her hand went through the wall.

"What was that?"

"Follow me," I said, as I crouched down, lit my wand, and crawled through the wall. A moment later, Anwen joined me in the little hiding space that I had made for myself.

"Where are we?" she said, her eyes wide again. We were sitting on the floor, and my head was touching the top of the space. Anwen was sitting between my legs, my knees bent up fully. She leaned back into my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. My wand was tucked in between her knees.

"This was my secret place, no one else in the family knew that it existed. I made it my first summer back from Hogwarts. Used some of my Dad's books to create it. When I had enough, or when my father was on one of his drunken rampages, I could stay here, safely away from everyone. I could use the dumbwaiter to get far enough away from him, and then I would race up here. He would tear through the house looking for me, I could hear him, but as long as I was in here, I was safe," I told her quietly. _ I hadn't even told James about this place, in fact, I hadn't told him about what a terror my father really was. Only Anwen knew that secret._

Anwen said nothing, she just snuggled herself into me, her soft hands stroking mine.

"Come on, lets get out of here. I'm too tall for this now," she crawled out, holding my wand, and I followed. We stood up and went over onto my bed and sat back down. "So, what do you think?"

"Sirius, the house is amazing, but it needs some work. It's rather depressing, and all the snakes need to go. Not to mention, I'm not crazy about the color scheme and it definitely needs to have the dark magic removed from it. But...I like it. In fact, I really like it. It's grander than any house I would have ever dreamed of owning."

"Well then, that settles it, we are going to fix it up, and we are going to live here. The little house in London has been fine, but it isn't big enough to raise a family in," she beamed at me as I said this.

"Family? We're not even married yet."

"Thinking ahead my love. I think room can stay how it it, minus the posters, for our son. Reg's old room can be redone for our daughter."

"You're incorrigible."

"What about the farm?" her face falling as she asked.

"We'll keep it. You love it, and we can get away from the city that way. It's not uncommon for wealthy families to have a summer home outside of the city. I really think that Moony likes his apartment and lab there too." She nodded at me. "Now, if you will indulge me, there is something that I fantasied about doing in this bed, since I was a very young boy." I picked her up and tossed her onto the bed, pouncing on after her.

"Sirius, I told you I wanted to wait."

"I know, but when I had this fantasy, all I wanted to do was snog a girl here. Do you think that you could indulge me, please?" I asked, pulling her toward me.

"I suppose I could be persuaded," she said with a raise of her eyebrows. We laid there kissing deeply for a while, my hands slipping under her tee shirt, hers stroking my chest over my shirt. I went to unclasp her bra, and she stopped me. "I think that's enough for now. We are on only our third date, remember," we sat up, and I kissed the small of her back before sliding off the bed and giving her my hand. She shivered at the contact when my lips touched her skin.

"Thank you. You just made a young boy very, very happy. So, when would you like to move in?"

"I was going to ask you about that. Sirius, I would love to have a big Christmas party. My whole family will be here. I talked with my Ma while you were in London this morning, and they're planning on being here for the holiday, since the wedding is only a week away, and we can invite your cousin and her husband and their daughter, and all of our 'Marauding family'. It would sort of be our first real party, together. We will have already been handfasted, and then, you can stay here with some of your groomsmen before the wedding, and my family can stay at the farm and I can be at the little house..." I finally had to put my hand up to her mouth. _ She hasn't gotten going like this in years, it reminds me of when she was young._

"Winnie, love, slow down. If you want the house before Christmas, then you will have it before Christmas," I kissed her on the forehead.

"Really?" she was jumping up and down. "Oh, Sirius, that would be wonderful. What about the money? I am sure that this is going to cost so much," she had stopped jumping, and now looked worried.

"Anwen, I have my entire family fortune to work with. Money will not be a problem," I pulled my watch out. "However, it's well past six, we've been here for over five hours. How about if I take you out for dinner, and then you can get home and get a good nights sleep before your new job tomorrow."

"All right. We still haven't figured out where we are going to live until this place is done?"

"How does this sound? We will go get some of your things back from the farm, and we live in the London house until this one is finished. We can let Moony live at the farm. We'll all have privacy then."

"That sounds perfect. I love you."

"I love you, too" I said, sealing it with a kiss. We headed back down all the flights of stairs, until we came to the main floor. "Since you want to live here, there is one other thing that I want to show you," I said as I pulled her into the drawing room. On the wall that the door was located on, stood the family tapestry. It was **the **Black Family Tree. Anwen stood looking at it, her mouth hanging open. I came up and stood behind her, my arms around her. I kissed her temple.

"This is the family you will be marrying into. That was me." I said, pointing to a charred spot near the bottom of the tree. "Mother blasted me off the summer I left to live with James."

"Sirius, the needlework is beautiful. I've never seen one of these so large. I know that you're not crazy about most of your family, but as a tapestry, it's amazing. Can it be repaired?" I pulled my wand and pointed it at the spot. Nothing happened.

"I can't fix it. Why don't you give it a try?" Anwen raised her left hand, the hand that held her engagement ring, over the burned mark and closed her eyes. I watched in amazement as the dark stain began to dissolve, and threads worked to knit themselves back together. Soon, a younger version of my own face was staring back at me, smiling. Anwen rested herself against me.

"That was amazing love. How did you do it?"

"I'm not sure. It has it's own magic, and it's not dark magic, it's just strongly enchanted. I manipulated it, the same way that I manipulate my own. It was hard work though, I'm a little tired now," she said, exhaling greatly. I turned her so that she faced me.

"See, you are strengthening and repairing this rotten old tree already," I smiled and softly kissed her lips. When I looked back down, delicate gold threads were starting to weave the tell-tale double line that indicated a marriage.

"Look sweetheart," I told her as I pointed. "It's getting ready to add you as my wife."

"That's amazing," she reverently whispered and we watched for a moment longer. "Come on, I want to get out of here. All the dark magic is giving me the creeps," she said, pulling me from the room.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30:**

**And the Wall Came Down**

**Sirius POV:**

_These badges are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. I'm in and out of here at least three times a week, and everyone knows me anyway. Plus, Anwen and I have been in the papers nearly every day now for a month. You'd think that at this point, I could do this without the dumb badge._ I fingered the small silver seal that I had affixed to my robes as I headed for the lifts.

"Good Morning, Mr. Black. How goes it today?" Reginald, the lift operator said as I got on.

"It goes well, sir. It goes well," I said with a smile. When I reached the Magical Law Enforcement floor, I got off and headed down the hall. I passed the Auror offices, and the turn off for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department, and headed down to an area not far from the Wizengamot offices. Edie was in her usual seat.

"Good Morning Edie, is my beautiful fiancée available?" I flashed her my famous Marauder's smile. She looked up at me and returned it.

"You do know that when she hired me, I had to prove that I was immune to that smile of yours, right?" She said with a slightly dull affect.

"I know, but I figure it can't hurt. I need to talk with her about some things."

"Yeah, she's in there. Shall I announce you or not?"

"Naw, let me surprise her. Have a good day Edie," Edie had graduated from Hogwarts this last spring, and had been in Hufflepuff. She was kind and efficient, and Anwen really liked her. She wasn't just good with people, but she had a mind for numbers are well. I walked past Edie's desk and to the door to the right. Anwen was seated at her desk, running her fingers through her hair as she read over some parchment. She didn't notice when I came in, so I walked behind her, and kissed the back of her neck.

"Blacghhh!" she jumped as my lips touched her skin. "Sirius, I told you not to sneak up on me when I'm reading."

"What about those famous seeker reflexes of yours. There was a time when you would have hexed me while I was still three feet away," I said to her, giving her my hand so that she could stand up and I could greet her properly.

"Well, in those days I didn't have a secretary who could announce your arrival," she said as she was standing up. She reached her arms around me and kissed me. "Anyway, to what do I owe this pleasure?" She fingered the little silver badge. "Post delivery?" she said skeptically. I pulled away from her and reached into my pocket.

"It came by Muggle post this morning. I figured you would want to read it right away. If your Ma could send a howler, she would. It seems like she's a little impatient lately," I said, handing her the letter. Anwen pointed at the wingback chair that was in front of her desk and I went to sit down in it. She took up her place behind her desk again.

"She's just excited. She can't wait to see the house. In her mind I am marrying some kind of Wizarding royalty. It's like some romance novel for her. You're the wonderful dashing prince that's picked the commoner to marry. You've got her so snowed," she beamed at me, her fingers working to release the letter from it's envelope. "Would you like some lunch? I don't have to be up at the Minister's office until 1:30 this afternoon. Prudence and I are meeting with the florists, and reviewing the guest list. I would never be able to plan all of this without her help."

"I could eat," I said, and she gave me that knowing look of hers. _All right, when couldn't I eat._ I was happy when she offered to eat in front of me. She was doing better, but I still didn't like how little she consumed. She was sleeping better, but there were nights that I would wake up, and she wasn't in bed. She had slipped out, and was down in the lounge reading. I had no idea how long she had been there.

"Of course you could," she waved her hand over a small speaker box on her desk. "Edie, could you come here, please?" I could hear her amplified voice in the outer office. A moment later, Edie walked in the room.

"What can I do for you Auror Hodgson?" she asked politely.

"I told you, it's Anwen. Can you message down to the cafeteria and have my usual lunch sent up?" Edie nodded. "Thanks," she turned to me, "love, what would you like?"

"I'll eat whatever you're eating," I smiled at her. I wanted to know what it was that she was eating while she was here.

"It will never fill you up. Have them send up some Shepherd's Pie and a butterbeer too, please," Edie went to turn on her heel, but Anwen stopped her. "Edie, I have that meeting this afternoon at 1:30, and King is out for the rest of the day, so when I leave, you can take off for the day. We are liable to have a couple of busy days when the French bankers and Aurors are here later this week, so you may as well take the time now."

"That's very sweet of you, thank you, I have been wanting to get over to see me Grandmum."

"Please, get yourself ready and leave sooner rather than later. Can you arrange for the inter department memos get sent down to Wendy in the Wizengamot office? She can take care of any urgent ones, and contact me if need be. I will also need my calendar book updated, just in case I have to set up any other meetings while I am upstairs," Edie nodded and turned and went out into the outer office. I smiled at my beautiful betrothed.

"You are a really good boss. I love you."

"She's good at her job, and pleasant to work with. She doesn't engage in the usual gossip with the other girls. I want to keep her, so I treat her nicely. Now, what does my mother have to say?" she turned her head down to read the letter, and gave a smile. "She's wondering if you will cut your hair before the wedding. I have assured her that you will not, since I like it the way it is. I have given up on seeing your beautiful face ever again, however. You seem to like all of that scruff on you," she said smirking and waving her fingers at my face. _Yeah, she liked her fingers in my hair when we are together. There is no way in hell I will cut it, I didn't realize that the beard and mustache bothered her. I've had them for years. "_How would you like to go to Canada in a few weeks?"

"Sure, I can get away, can you?"

"I think so," she waved her hand over the box again, and asked Edie to come back in, this time with her calendar. "I am sorry to make you come in and out of here. I know you're not a 'Jack in the Box'," Anwen said with a smile. Edie's mother was Muggle born, so she got references that were lost on me.

"It's all right, that's why I am here. What do you need to know?" Edie smiled back at her boss.

"See if I am free on Monday, 14 October and Tuesday, 15 October, please."

"You only have a department heads meeting on Tuesday," Edie replied looking at the big leather bound folio in her hands.

"Is Kingsley supposed to be here those days?"

"Um, yes, he's in the office both days. Why?"

"He can handle the department heads meeting. Look, I am going to take those days off, so block them off so that nothing else can be scheduled for me. Also note that Kingsley needs to be in the office, or at least in Britain those days, thanks. Edie, I also need you to book two International Portkeys for Sirius and I to Toronto. Leaving on the evening of Friday, 11 October and returning on that Tuesday. I will also want a Muggle car when I get there. Thanks," Edie nodded and left again.

"What was that all about?" I asked her, impressed by how well she was handling having a 'staff'.

"There is some Canadian holiday called um..." she scanned the letter "...Thanksgiving. It's some sort of a family celebration, and you need to have your whole family there. Ma offered to fly us over, but I would rather portkey – much shorter trip. It will be a relief to get away. I figure things are going to be crazy here. That's only two weeks after the big announcement," Anwen said, making a funny face at the word 'big'.

It was decided that the Potter's would reenter the wizarding world on 1 October. It would give them time to adjust before Harry would start his Primary education in January, after the winter holiday. _They would magically alter the documents to make it appear that he had been attending another school for the fall term._ The repairs were being made in secret to Potter Manor so that they would have a place to live.

"I was over at the big house today," I said, this was our code for the Manor. Remus and I were overseeing the repairs, since James and Lily could not. I was also working hard on getting Grimmauld Place repaired and updated. "Things are going well. The only room that can't be fixed is the old lab. Too much magical damage to be repaired." Anwen nodded her head. "We're just going to seal it off and Lily a new lab, detached from the house. This way, if there ever is another explosion, it won't damage a centuries old home.

"At the other house, we cannot figure out how to get Mother off the wall. Both the Aurors and the Curse Breakers can't do it. Mad Eye's out of ideas as well. You're the only one who can silence her even, she's driving everyone crazy, because that stupid curtain doesn't stay shut," I raked my hands through my hair. The whole situation was making me frustrated.

"I had an idea about that. What if we just took out the wall. I mean, if she wants to be stuck to the wall, let her, we just don't need to have the wall there. The only thing is, I don't know if it's load bearing or not. If it is, we'd need to replace it. If it isn't, it would open up the dining room a great deal. Why don't we see if Ian can come over someday when he is done at the big house? " Anwen offered. It was a brilliant idea. I stood up, leaned over her desk and kissed her.

"You are so very smart. I think that I am marrying the brightest witch in all of England. I'll talk about it with Ian the next time that I see him. Our old Quidditch team mate, Ian Anderson was now a magical contractor, and was handing the repairs at the Manor as well as at Grimmauld. We knew we could trust him, and he was very selective about his staff.

"The bathrooms have all been 'cleansed' and the old faucets have been removed, and we are just waiting for the new ones to be brought over and installed," Anwen had insisted that we take everything that had a serpent on it out of the house, and then, had worked with the designer on Ian's staff to find replacement items. Anwen wanted to keep the house as authentic to it's early Victorian building style as we could, so many of the replacements were purchased from second hand shops or reclaimed from houses that were being torn down. She was doing the same with the decor and the furnishings. The only exception was the kitchen, which was going to have all new Muggle and magical appliances. Anwen had managed to figure out how to insulate the wires so that our magic wouldn't interrupt them. When she came of age, the combined magic of our trio kept tripping the fuses. Anwen figured out the charms, I helped to apply them. We adapted the spells and charms so that we could have electricity in several rooms at Grimmauld, the kitchen being one of them. Rooms that housed more magic, or that were already charmed, like the ballroom or sitting room, had no electricity.

"That's wonderful. Will it be ready for the painters next week?"

"Ian swears to it. The only thing we are having problems with is the front door knocker. We can't seem to get it off the door. It's enchantments are tied to the warding, and I am not sure that we can get rid of it. I'm sorry love, I know how much you dislike it."

"It could be worse. It could be inside the house," she sighed, tilting her head. "It's not like we will go in and out of the front door much anyway. Once the floo fire place is re connected, we can just floo where we need to go." _I wish I could figure out how it is that she is setting up a new department at work, planning an excessively complex wedding, and overseeing the restoration of our home? I'm barely doing anything, and I am exhausted._

"Did you finally settle on a color for the Master Bedroom?" I asked her. She was keeping all of her plans for what would be our room completely secret from me. I wasn't even allowed to see anything down by the door on that floor. If I wanted to get to the fourth floor, I had to squeeze by a seven foot partition that blocked my view.

"I did; Mr. Silverman and I worked it all out. His staff at Mystical Painting will be taking care of it. Don't worry about it. This is my wedding gift to you, I don't want you to see it until we are married. So no peeking!" she said, wagging her finger at me. I knew this was important to her, she was even insisting that she pay for it with her own gold. _Somehow, I need her to think of the Black family accounts as 'our's'. She's nearly my wife for Merlin's sake._

"All right, all right. I get it, stay away from the bedroom. What about the Master Bath? Do you need to take care of anything in there?"

"No. Ian and I have those plans completed as well. Basically, beyond the two closets and that little bedroom on that floor, you have no responsibilities. I have the whole third floor taken care of," just then, Edie appeared, levitating two trays of food in front of her, carrying a satchel. She set the trays down on the small table to the left of Anwen's desk.

"Here are your lunches are here are all of your travel documents for your trip. The Portkeys will be sent up the day before you are to leave, to ensure that they are not tampered with. I was supposed to remind you to carry the Muggle passports, as well as your magical ones. The Canadian Ministry will often ask to see them both," she smiled as she handed Anwen the satchel.

"Thank you so much," Anwen smiled and the younger girl left.

We moved over to the table and started eating. Anwen was only eating soup, again, but at least she was eating. "Don't look at me like that. I have not one, not two, not three, but four wedding dresses to fit into in less than three months. I am eating, leave it alone Sirius," _I swear sometimes, I think she knows what I am thinking._

"Four dresses, Anwen, there are only three ceremonies?" I asked her quizzically.

"Four. There is the dress for the handfasting ceremony. I am using the one that I bought for the first wedding we had planned four years ago. Then, there is the 'Goddess Gown' that I have to wear for the foot washing/magical binding ceremony. Then, there are the wedding robes for the actual wedding ceremony. Then, I'm to change out of my wedding robes for the reception. I've decided that I am going to go with a regular Muggle wedding dress. My Ma wants to be able to go shopping with me for something, and they really are much more conducive to dancing than dress robes are. That reminds me, do you want to wear dress robes for the reception or do you want Muggle attire as well?"

"Well, would it be like a suit, because if you are in a wedding dress, I'll be under dressed. I need to look like I belong with the most beautiful bride anyone will ever see," I said to her, she blushed, her eyes shifting away from mine.

"I was thinking that you would look particularly dashing in Muggle tails. They are very formal and you'd look so gallant dancing with me, especially if I get the style of dress that I have been wanting," she sounded almost embarrassed as she spoke, it made me love her even more.

"If that's what you want, then that's what you shall have. We'll just add it to the other clothes that I need to have made. Do I need to worry about ordering these?" I still wasn't sure of all the plans. Anwen waved her fingers and the green bound tome that was ever presently with her, flew over to us. She opened it and held her hands over the pages, they immediately began to flip, until she came to the page she needed. She scanned down the information for the correct piece.

"No. We each have meetings with Madame Malkin so that she can take measurements. Prudence will go with you, so that your clothes coordinate with mine, without me having to see them. Please do me a favor however, take James or Remus with you, they will keep you from wanting to kill Pru. She means well," she gave me that half smile to let me know that I would be putting up with something that I really didn't want to.

"That's fine. Just tell me when, and I'll make sure that one of them is with me," I said in a rather resigned way. She nodded and went back to her lunch. We sat there in silence for a while, and then she spoke again.

"Sirius, there are two other things that came up at the last meeting, and I need to have answers before I go up there today. Would you like to discuss the easy one or the harder one?" she was quiet and suddenly serious.

"Let's start out easy," she had me just a little scared.

"Um, do we want the Ministry to plan our honeymoon? Pru has offered to set it all up for us, but, if we do that, they'll know where we are." She didn't sound thrilled at that prospect.

"No bloody way. How about this: you let me worry about the honeymoon. I'll plan everything, and the only people who will know where we are, are you, I and probably Lily. Not telling the guys, they will do God only knows what to us," she smiled and nodded at me. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. Someplace warm, no snow! If it could be somewhere without the press, that would be wonderful. I'm still getting hounded every time I go through the Lobby," she sighed, sounding rather upset. _ I didn't care where we went, as long as it was private and had a big bed._

"Okay, that's one down, and the other," her face darkened and she took a deep breath.

"Sirius, the middle ceremony, it's..." she hesitated and took another deep breath "...it constitutes a magically binding contract. There is no way to get out of it. Once we've bound our magic, we'll make it so that our wands cannot be used against one another. There is no way out of it. We can't separate legally or divorce. We are together until one of us dies, and even then, most bound couples never remarry, they just can't do it. I think it's why the whole ceremony has gone out of fashion. It's permanent," she paused again. "Are you sure this is what you want?" she wasn't looking at me, and I could tell by the way that she was repeatedly swallowing, she was trying hard not to cry.

"Is it what you want?" I asked her back.

"Sirius, I have loved you for most of my life. I think I fell in love that first night, and it has just grown deeper since. I can't imagine ever loving anyone else, ever. That's why it was so easy for me to forgive you, the depths of my love were too great to ever let something like that break us apart," she was speaking to the table. _ How could she still doubt me? Is it possible that she thinks I don't feel the same way?_

"Mystical binding or none, Anwen, I couldn't ever love someone else the way that I love you. We are already bound to each other, by our past and our future. Hey, I don't think that there is anyone else in the whole world who would ever be able to love me and understand me the way you do. The fact that you will not be able to curse me is an added bonus," I got up from my chair and walked over to her and lifted her up. Staring straight in her eyes I said: "I will love you in this life, I will love you in whatever life comes next. You are stuck with me, forever," tears broke free from her eyes, and she pulled me to her and kissed me fiercely. We were getting lost in the sensation when we heard an unpleasant noise at the door.

"Hem, hem."

Anwen stopped kissing me, and uttered, "shit" while exhaling. She turned her body, but held my arms in place around her waist, wrapping her hands up in mine.

"Dolores, what brings you into **my** office?" Anwen sounded less than thrilled at the company that we were in.

"Well, your secretary wasn't at her desk, and I had no idea that I would walk in on such behavior..." she said in a rather unpleasant, singsongy voice.

"Well, we are in the privacy of my own office, behind a closed door, so I really had no fear that anyone would walk in on us, since it is polite to wait to be introduced before barging into another person's private work space. As I said, what can I do for you?" Anwen was getting impatient.

"I hadn't received your Wizarding Family Tree yet..."

"Yes, you have not, nor will you," Anwen spat at the woman. "Since it is a voluntary project that you are working on, I am choosing not to volunteer. As I have told you, I am my entire Wizarding Family Tree, it's really just a stump.

Additionally, anyone who has read any of the newspapers or celebrity rags will know that I am Muggle born. There is no point in my giving you something that it would seem, is general knowledge. I am however, marrying into a rather old family. If you would like their family tree, I am sure that it can be arranged. It's replete with pureblood as well as derangement, depravity and my soon to be husband and my contempt. Now, I will thank you and beg you to take your leave," Anwen stepped away from me so that she was towering over the woman, _which is quite a feat, considering just how short Anwen is._

"If I ever find you in my office unannounced again, I will ward it so that you will Portkey to places unknown upon your entrance. We've discussed this. This is the last that I will tolerate. Do I make myself clear?" she whispered in that voice that when I heard it, let me know when I was really in trouble. The short, toadish faced witch turned on her heels and walked out. It was made all the more funny by the fact that her shoes squeaked as she left. Anwen watched her leave, her hands remaining on her hips.

"Who or what was that?" I asked her, again wrapping my arms around her waist. Anwen turned herself and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around me.

"That was Dolores Umbridge, special assistant to Cornelius Fudge. I used to have to take all of our subpoena request to her, and she was such a pain. She hates that I now go directly to the Wizengamot office for them. She's undertaken this project of mapping the Wizarding family trees of all the Junior level ministry officials. It's barmy. I am so tired of people bringing up the fact that I am Muggle born," she sighed and turned her head up to look at me. "There was an article in _Witch Weekly _that put forth the idea that I had poisoned your mother to get at the family fortune," she sighed again.

"That's all just talk, and that woman is awful. Try to forget about it, none of it means anything. I love you, only you, and all of you – even your Muggle blood," she smiled at the statement and reached up to kiss me again.

"Couldn't you just stay with me and hold me through my afternoon meetings?" she asked. I shook my head at her. "You probably don't want to go to a meeting about flowers and guest lists?" I gave her a look, _please don't make me_. "Fine, how about if you just greet me when I get home with a big kiss."

"I have a better idea, how about if I pick you up here at five and take you out for dinner. We can even go to one of those Muggle movies you like so much," _they were interesting enough, but what I loved was the dark theater and the public necking._

"Yeah! Okay, you pick dinner, I'll pick the movie. I love you so much!" she kissed me again, and then she broke away. "Here, take this home and put it somewhere safe," she said, handing me the satchel with our Canadian portkey information. I took it, and then I grabbed her hand. She grabbed her wedding planning book. We walked out of the office and she waved her hand at the door after she closed it. I gave her a quizzical look. "Sealing the door. Edie is leaving, and I don't want anyone else walking in there today," she picked up her calendar off Edie's desk and we walked to the lifts and I kissed her gently as she got on the one going up, while I got on the next one, going back down.

**Anwen POV:**

As my eyelids fluttered open, it took me a moment to figure out where we were. I looked around the room, and when my eyes hit a poster of some obnoxiously large breasts barely covered by a bikini top, I remembered where we were. _He really needs to get those down off the wall for me. They're enough to give a girl an inadequacy complex._ I rolled over and saw him there, lying on his stomach, and arm thrown lazily over me. I snuggled closer, reveling in the warmth of just being here with him. He stirred and a pair of beautiful gray eyes peeked over the top of the pillow at me and I smiled.

"Good morning," I whispered as I leaned over to kiss him.

"Definitely a good morning," he said, kissing me again, much deeper than I had kissed him. He looked at me with that goofy, lopsided grin of his that he wore whenever he had gotten away with something.

"What?" I quizzed him.

"Just another boyhood fantasy that you have fulfilled dear. Always wanted to wake up with a girl in my bed."

"Glad to oblige. Now I bet that there is a third fantasy, hum?" Knowing that there must be. He nodded at me mischievously. "We can take care of that one after the first of the year," I said, while pulling myself into a sitting position. We had come back here after being in Canada, since our little house was now constantly stalked by press. We had enchanted the little house so that it would appear people were inside, lights going on and off and such; but none of us were living there anymore. The farm is under a renewed _Fidelius _charm, as is this place.

Turns out, that since Ministry Weddings are so rare that people wanted to know every detail. Couple that with the fact that our best friends had returned from the dead within the last month, Sirius and I were suddenly some sort of celebrities. We were working late on the house last night, and decided that we would sleep here, since I was to meet with the painting team first thing this morning.

"Ma wrote yesterday. She loved having you there with us. What you said before dinner touched her deeply." I leaned over and kissed him again. Before we ate the Thanksgiving meal, Ma had us all go around the table and tell what we were thankful for. Sirius had made all the women cry when he said, 'being welcomed into a real family for the first time in his life.' _My Ma and Da may have put some rather great expectations on me, but I never questioned if they loved me. Sirius never knew that, except for the times that he spent with the Potter's. I am so happy that I can give him my family, and hopefully someday, our own family._

"I was honest, and now, they all think that I am some sort of a soft hearted guy," he rolled his eyes at it. "Guess I'll just have to hang out with your Dad and your brother, drink beer, fix cars, watch hockey and swear," I smiled at him, I knew that he had enjoyed his time with Da and Islwyn, but I was only just beginning to see how much.

"Well, I will always know, that at your heart, you are the most mischievous of the Marauders," I beamed at him, and he returned it. "Come on, the painters are coming, and I have a slew of return cards that arrived by owl yesterday that I need to catalog."

We got up and showered, although it took longer than it really should have, since Sirius insisted that we shower together to 'conserve water'. _He's making this really hard to stick to my wedding night plan._ We went downstairs and found that breakfast was already waiting for us in the dining room. Kreacher had made it, and left it there. I had wanted to get rid of the old elf, but Sirius convinced me that the house was far too large for me to care for myself. I, however, had insisted that if we were to keep him, Sirius had to be kind to him, no matter what the elf said. Kreacher wasn't thrilled. I think he was repulsed to be honest, that the new lady of the house had been Muggle born, so he simply did his work and worked to avoid us, which was fine with me. We had yet to tell him that the portrait wall was being removed.

While I ate and drank my coffee, I went through the reply cards.

"I don't believe it. Severus Snape ended up invited, and he's coming!" I shrieked. The meal lurched in my stomach and I was sure that I'd be sick.

"How did he get on the guest list?" Sirius asked, looking up from the _Daily Prophet_.

"Um, let me see," I said while I pulled out the master list that Pru had worked up. There were over 500 invitees, many of whom were on the list by request of the Ministry. If it were up to Sirius and I, there would have been about 50. It wasn't worth getting upset over. I refused to let anything get in the way of me enjoying my wedding day, it had taken long enough for it to get here. "He's on the teaching staff at Hogwarts, they all were invited. What is he teaching? Certainly wouldn't be personal grooming. Wow, it must really be a cold day in hell, because you are going to have to be civil with him," I said with a giggle.

"So will you love," he chastised me.

"So will James, which might be the hardest of all. Nothing like knowing another man is in love with your wife."

"Prongs'll be fine. Lily however might hex him."

"Touche dear," I went back to the cards, and found another one that made me uncomfortable. "It would appear that your cousin, her scum bag of a husband and their demon spawn are coming as well."

"Love, they are family. We knew that they would be invited," he took my hand. _ I could not stand the sight of Lucius Malfoy._

"I know, but they didn't have to accept, did they?" I said, somewhat disheartened.

"No, but I'm sure that they are nosy, just like everyone else. You've been trying to put Lucius in jail for the last four years, what better way to rub it in your face that he's not imprisoned than to end up at our wedding. It will be a very public place, he won't try anything," Sirius took my hand. "I know that some of my family – well most actually – isn't worth much of anything, but you have been more than gracious about it. I have been a little surprised at how you have embraced the "Black Family" house and all."

"Sirius, you have no control over what your family has been. The only thing you could control is yourself, and you did. You distanced yourself from them, and now, the best remains. We have a unique chance to reshape your family name. Imagine what will be said about us in say, a hundred years. Our children and our grandchildren will be the Black Family. That's why living in this house, following all of these ridiculous traditions, all of it, that's the reason to do it!" I looked at him and was surprised by his look of awe.

"You never cease to amaze me! Marry me?" he beamed back at me.

"Gladly, in two months and three days time. Hey, since the house here is unplottable, I guess that we don't have to worry about Trick or Treaters on Halloween night. Maybe we should go to the little house and have Lily and James bring Harry over to do his candy collecting there? They really don't have any neighbors at the Manor, and, no one can visit them there either, because of the wards," I said, still basking in his look of love.

"Nice way to change ideas there love," he laughed at me. "We are way ahead of you, and the Marauder's have got this planned. You and Remus to hand out candy, and James and Lily will take Harry out with their family dog," he smiled that crooked grin back with his eyebrow cocked.

"Well then, Padfoot needs a bath! You are not getting anywhere near Harry smelling like you rolled in your own ..." I nodded my head to get him to understand.

"Love, I probably did," I shuttered at the thought. _I am so glad I really don't know what he does when he is in dog form. At least when I'm a bird, all I do is preen and fly. _"Fine, Padfoot can get a bath, as long as it's you that's doing the bathing," _I doubt that I will ever have a dull life._

"Anyway..." I said, trying to change the subject to something less gross, "...let's see what else we can get off of this list," I opened up my wedding planning book. "You have someone to go with you on your fitting on Thursday?" I said hopefully.

"Yes, Both Remus and James will be there so that I do not strangle Pru. They're getting their clothes fitted as well."

"Thank you," I checked off another task from my ever adapting wedding list. "I forwarded everyone's measurements to the tuxedo rental place, I'm glad we chose to have all the men wear them. I took some flack for it, from Madame Minister of all people. However, when I explained that my family is in the wedding party as well, she recognized the sensibility in our choice. I think she's turning the whole thing into a chance to highlight Muggle/Wizard relations," I sighed loudly at this. _It's not that I have a problem with it, I'm just not crazy about my wedding being a political statement._ "All the dresses have been ordered and they will be in by 1 December"

"It sounds as though you've got it all covered. Now, how about you close that book and come over here," he said, patting his lap. I closed the book, got up and sat down with him.

"All right; besides wanting to put your hand up my shirt, what can I do for you?" I asked him as he stroked the flesh of my back where his hand was, he kissed my neck as he did so.

"While caressing you really is reason enough, I did have an idea. I know the formality of the reception has you less than thrilled." I nodded at him. _We were having a small orchestra playing with traditional dancing taking place, which was fine, but it didn't really reflect Sirius at all. Far too stiff for him, and therefore, it wasn't really what I would have wanted._ "So, what if we were to have another party, an after party party. We could have a New Year's Eve party here, and invite only the people we wanted, and have it reflect us, at least a little more. We could open the floo for that night, just for the invited guests, and then re-ward it after the party. Kreacher can do all the work, and if we needed to, we could even hire some help," he clearly liked this idea, and I had to agree with him.

"Sirius, that's brilliant. We could have music and dancing and let the kids play together and then celebrate at midnight," I liked this idea, a lot! "The wedding is at 11:00 a.m., so the formal reception should be over by 6:00 p.m., at the latest. Everyone could go home, relax, the younger children could nap and then we could start our party at eight or nine. I love this idea!" I leaned into him and kissed him deeply.

"And what exactly would we do between the parties, love?" He whispered in my ear as he kissed and sucked the lobe.

"Well, I need to give you your gift, and, um, we might want to spend some time in bed?" I said seductively, while kissing his neck.

"Sounds perfect, and since we can floo to our honeymoon, we can leave from here whenever we are ready," I pushed off of him and looked him in the eyes.

"We can floo to our honeymoon? Interesting," I said stroking my chin. _He's told me so little about what we are doing, any information seemed important._

"That's it my little one. You'll just have to wait," he kissed me again, and then I pulled myself off of him and we started a list of what we'd like to serve, what music to have and who we'd invite. "Read me back the list, just to make sure that we've remembered everyone."

"Okay; The Potter's, Remus, The Tonks', King and Amelia, my family, Minerva, Albus, Mad Eye, Emiline Vance, Edie and her boyfriend and the Weasley's. Is there anyone else that you would like to add?" I asked him. There were a few people that I would like to add.

"How about Ian and Maggie? He's been so much help, especially with figuring out how to take out that wall," he said pointing at the wall that would be demolished later today. Ian had already confirmed that we would be able to just knock it out, and take that blasted portrait with it.

"I agree. Anyone else from school?" Sirius shook his head. "Well, I would like to invite Corinne and Katie and their boyfriends. We all get together for lunch every month, it would be delightful to have them there. And...I would like to invite Clara and her parents. She was the only friend I ever had outside of Hogwarts, and I can't invite them to the wedding due to the whole Secrecy clause..."

"Anwen, I don't know if we can. There will be too many magical people here, someone is liable to slip up. Your family already knows, and they have agreed to keep it secret, but we couldn't risk other Muggles here. How about if we invite them over for dinner at the little house sometime when it will just be us there?" he was right, it was just sad that my one and only muggle friend couldn't share with me.

"You're right. It was just a thought. Well, I think that is it. That gives us a total of..." I added it up as I looked at the list "...thirty-six guests, not bad. This is very doable. I will make up a menu and we can give it to Kreacher. I can make the invitations and send them out with Midnight later today, except for my parents of course. How would you like to take care of the music?" This was his idea, he needed something to do.

"I would love to. I will also take care of the bar," _Wonderful, a drunk husband. _

"Um, just remember, if you imbibe too much, you really won't enjoy our time alone," I reminded him.

"Anwen, nothing will keep me from ravishing you over and over on our wedding night," he said, giving me his infamous marauder smile.

"Good," then the bell rang, letting us know that the painters had arrived. By the end of the day, the room that had been Regulus' had been completely emptied of items and repainted a pleasant pale taupe color, and fitted with cream colored linens to go with the deep mahogany furniture that we had repaired or refinished for the room. The ballroom was a deep royal blue with gold trim, and Sirius had them working on the little room off the ballroom, but I wasn't allowed to see it. Mr. Silverman and I also worked on the Master Suite some, but I preferred to leave our conversations for times when I knew Sirius was unlikely to hear us.

Mad Eye and Kingsley had also been over to help us sort through some of the things we found in the Drawing Room. We got rid of what we thought was just junk, send several cases of items and books to the Department of Mysteries or over to Mad Eye's office for research purposes. I kept most of the books for my personal library. In the years since I'd become an Auror, books had become an obsession of mine. They now filled the walls in my old bedroom at the little house. I was thankful for the added space here, I could increase the size of my collection now.

We were left with a single case of items that looked like they had some importance, but that were either drenched in dark magic or were of no use to us. We decided that these things: an odd frame that distorted the picture inside of it, one mirror from a set of communication mirrors, some odd potions items, a locket and an ugly music box, would be put into the Black Family safe at Gringotts. At least there, no one could access them, save Sirius, Remus and I.

The best news of all, we now had a more open dining room, as the wall with the very offensive portrait had been removed and destroyed in a plain old fire, set with Muggle matches, in our back yard. Sirius laughed as I danced around the flames, as if it was some sort of deranged funeral pyre.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31:**

**Handfasting and Mischief**

**Anwen POV:**

I took in a deep breath and let it out again, and turned around to see myself in the full sized mirror that was in the room. I smiled. _ I am finally wearing this dress, this is finally real._ My heart was doing a little dance inside, and my head was swooning, but most importantly, my soul felt as if it would take flight. I was experiencing joy like I'd never known. In a few minutes, I would be leaving this small anteroom, and would enter a room simply known as "Sanctuary". I really didn't understand all that well what was to happen; even though in the last few months, I had become an expert on the ancient practice of the three part wedding. "Sanctuary" was located in the Department of Mysteries, to the right of the room simply titled "Love" and to get to it, you had to enter a round room and go to the correct door. We had not been allowed into the room yet, we simply knew that it existed. From what I had gathered, these small rooms, the ones Sirius and I were dressing in, were off the side of the chamber. The trip to this space had been disorienting.

I smiled at the dress. I had fallen in love with it the minute I saw it. It was completely out of character from what was popular when I had purchased it four years ago, probably still was. Fashion was geared toward large, puffy dresses with big sleeves and shoulder pads. Brides wanted to emulate the look of Princess Diana on her wedding day. _If I put on a dress like that, I would have gotten lost in the material._

My dress was at the back of a sale rack, something that no one wanted. The long, sleeveless sheath of creamy satin that flowed out to make a slight train in the back. It had a rather deep "V" in the front with some delicate embroidery work where the two pieces of the bodice came together to form a diamond. Most of my back was bare, _just the way Sirius liked it. _The material seemed to have something sewn into it, so that when I moved, it shimmered and sparkled. It came with a short lace jacket that originally had long sleeves, but we had shortened them to just below the elbow, to accommodate the nature of the ceremony. The jacket was covered in the same embroidery of the dress, and it too seemed to glisten. Lily came up behind me, looking at me in the mirror as well.

"I think I know what you're thinking," she smiled at me.

"I bet you do, and you're right. I can't believe that we are finally here. I have wanted this for so long Lily, and it starts tonight," she moved her delicate hands over my hair, helping to straighten it all out. I had let my short cut of the summer grow out, and with the help of my prodigious Charms skill, my hair hung to my shoulders in soft waves. The only jewelry that I had on were my grandmother's pearl drop earrings and my rings. I felt a little naked without the charm bracelet, but given the nature of my dress, I didn't want to snag it and I needed to have my wrists free for the ceremony.

There was a gentle knock at the door, and a kindly little witch opened it and told us it was time. I inhaled quickly and nodded my head, but I couldn't move my feet. I could feel the terror float across my face, Lily leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Don't worry, he's here and he's as excited as you are," I turned my head and gave her the knowing smile that had become a code between the two of us. _She somehow knows what I am thinking._ Lily and I followed the witch out into "Sanctuary".

It wasn't like any church sanctuary I had ever been in, in fact, I had never seen a room like it before. First of all, it seemed far too large for it to be contained in the Ministry of Magic. The room seemed to go on forever, only a small area was lit, up here where we were now standing. _What magic can do will never cease to amaze me._ The walls appeared to be made from large, ancient looking, handmade bricks. The material of the bricks wasn't quite stone or marble or anything that I recognized. They were shockingly white and they seemed to change colors as the light from the torches hit them. In the center of the room was a small, raised round dais, and a single, elderly wizard stood upon it. To reach him, we had to follow along a path of walking stones. On each of these stones were written words or more often Runes.

I continued to look around the room, and found Sirius. He looked beautiful in a set of steel gray dress robes. The sleeves were designed in such a way that his wrists would be free for the ceremony. My breath caught when he looked at me and smiled.

Lily and James, who had been with each of us getting ready, went and joined Minerva, Albus, Remus and Andi just behind the dais. Harry and Nymphadora were sitting with Ted off to the side. They were all of the people that would be joining us tonight.

The wizard, a man who looked far older than Albus Dumbledore, began to speak. "Love is the most ancient of magics. It is more powerful than any spell that can be created, more potent than any potion that can be brewed and longer lasting than any charm for which incantation is given. These two come tonight, declaring their intent to fully submit themselves to their love and, in turn, to one another. We are here to witness and support that love. Your walk to this place signifies the journey that you have already taken, and that which will continue once you have be fully bound to one another."

Sirius and I started walking, each of us along our own path. The paths were circular and moved in concentric circles around the dais. As we were instructed during our lesson for this service, each time our paths crossed, we were to reach out, take the others hand, hold it for a moment, and then begin to move again. We reached each other three times, and then had to break apart again. The fourth time we met, we joined hands and went to stand on the small raised stage. Once we were standing in front of the wizard, he spoke again.

"As you have crossed paths in life, you have formed bonds with one another. The ceremony tonight seeks to solidify and strengthen those bonds. In full awareness of this, do you declare before your family gathered here tonight, and the higher powers that govern us all, that you are doing this of your own free will?" Sirius squeezed my hand as we both answered, "I do."

"The handfasting ceremony ties you to each other, over time and space. Do you still seek to enter?"

Again, we spoke in unison, "I do."

"Magic is believed to have come to us from the divine spirit, that presence that ties all things together. This spirit knows no limits and has no end. The East brings us gifts of communication and knowledge, that which we learn from our minds, hearts and bodies. This gift is renewed each day, with the rising of the sun," he paused, and a light breeze blew at us, from what I guessed what the east of the room.

"The South gives us warmth and the comforts of home. The gift is alive in our heart's passion, and it is renewed each time the spark of love flares with in us," another soft gush of wind washed over us, moving from the south.

"The West is where we find deep commitment. It is like the rushing waters of the rivers that always flow to the sea, never leaving the sea empty or depleted," this breeze felt vaguely damp, but warm and comforting as well.

"And finally, from the North the gift of firm foundation and fertility. Like the fields that bear fruit each year, may your home always be a place of warm content and strength," a final gust blew across our faces.

"Will you turn and face one another, grasping you hands together. Your left hands should be underneath, and your right hands on top," Sirius and I did so, and he flashed me that beautiful, lopsided smile that made my heart melt, and all of the nervous energy that filled me seemed to wash away.

"Sirius, will you cause Anwen pain?" the wizard asked.

"Probably," he answered bluntly. _The answer was supposed to be, I may, but knowing Sirius, this was more accurate._ I smiled at him.

"Is this your intent?" he was quizzed again.

"No," he replied, never taking his eyes off me.

"Anwen, will you cause Sirius pain?" I was asked.

"I may."

"Is this your intent?"

"No."

"Will you both seek to share in the pain of the other, and then seek to ease it."

"Yes," we replied together.

We were lost in each other's eyes and in the power of that moment, that I didn't hear the officiating wizard leave us, or anyone else come up and join us. Remus was the first to come up, his wand releasing a golden cord around our wrists.

"Laughter is the balm of life, given to erase the pain and worry of the day. Will you share in one another's laughter?" he asked us, and without turning to look at him, I knew he had a grin on his face.

"We will," we replied, both of us smiling widely. Remus left and Andi came up, issuing a second cord around our hands.

"Our burden is lifted when we have someone to share it with. In all things and in all ways, will you seek to lift the burdens of life?" she asked us.

"We will," we were once again, left alone.

"The aspirations of the future, only come to pass, when we allow ourselves to dream," our former Transfiguration teacher said, as she entwined another magical golden cord around us. "Will you dream both together, and alone, and support one another's dreams?"

"We will."

"We cannot live with other people and never feel anger. Will you take the heat of anger and seek to have it temper and strengthen your bond?" Albus Dumbledore asked us, his voice sounding as I had never heard it before, sad and regretful. I was lost in the thought, and nearly forgot to say my vows, until I heard Sirius voice, and felt another cord being wrapped around us.

"We will," the Hogwarts Headmaster left us alone, and both James and Lily came forward, James standing behind Sirius, Lily behind me, their wands drawn.

"To be married to another, means that you are equals. You share in all of life, the good and the bad. Sirius, will you honor Anwen?" Lily spoke quietly and gently.

"I will," Sirius said with an assuredness that startled me.

"Anwen, will you honor Sirius?"

"I will," I said, my voice catching slightly in my throat. Sirius gave my hands a slight squeeze.

"Like these chords, the bonds that you have with one another are strong," James said. "Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?"

"We will," we voiced together, and together the fifth and the the sixth chord were magically produced and entwined. When all six chords were in place, they began to glow in the most beautiful, pure magic that I had ever seen. It was a bright, shimmering white, and the light green and silver hues of Sirius and my magic were interwoven. I closed my eyes and concentrated on it for a moment, and I knew that I had made it visible at the gasps that I heard.

The magic continued to swirl and spin around us, but all I could see was Sirius. I felt the slight burning sensation on my right wrist, knowing it was the symbol of our ceremony here. I was anxious to see it, but I didn't want to break the gaze of my beloved.

"These two have bound their physical bodies and their lives together. In one month, they will bind their magic, in the final step towards full union. After that, they shall be wed, and will forever, be one. From today on, they shall wear the markings of this binding. Thanks be given to the spirit that gives all," the wizard said, raising his hands like the minister does as he issues a benediction at church. He left us there, and Sirius and I continued to stare at one another.

"I guess I'm stuck with you," he said, his mouth wide with happiness.

"I guess so," I returned the look.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" he breathed, before he leaned down to kiss me. There seemed to be an electricity that moved between us, and the kiss literally took my breath away.

"All right you two, that's enough of that. Come on, we've got dinner waiting for us at home," James teased us, and with all that were assembled tonight, we flooed to the Manor for dinner. Later that night, Sirius and I found ourselves in our bed, wrapped up in one another.

**Sirius POV:**

We were alone at the farm house, our bodies were twined together, her back lounging against my chest, our arms and legs entangled, and I watched as Anwen was lazily running her finger over the inside of her right wrist. She smiled each time my name would appear, glowing lightly under her touch, and then fading when her finger had passed. I felt intoxicated as I watched her. _I want her so badly._ She surprised me when she lifted her wrist to her lips and gently kissed the spot. I felt it on my own wrist, and a soft, warm sensation passed through my whole body. _I wonder if it works both ways?_ I raised my own wrist and passed my lips to the spot where I knew her name was, and I could see the look of surprise on her face.

"What did you just do?" she asked me in wonderment.

"Apparently, there is a connection between them. When you kissed my name, I felt it. I figured I'd repay the sensation," I told her, she smiled and turned herself around so that she was lying on top of me.

"Thank you," she purred as she leaned down to kiss me. It was deep and passionate and my hands were moving all over her.

"I want you," I moaned at her. I was getting very uncomfortable being like this with her, and not being able to finish things.

"I know. We are so close, love. One more month," she whispered as she moved her lips across my chest. I groaned at her.

"Winnie, love, you're killing me here. I don't think I can take this much more," I complained.

"Well then, let me see what I can do about that?" her lips kissed a trail down my chest, down my abdomen and to her favorite tattoo. I moaned loudly and got lost in the sensation as her lips moved to their final destination.

**James POV:**

_I had never been summoned to the Ministry before, let alone to the Auror's department, I really have no idea why I'm here. _ I had simply received a card asking me, no telling me to be here, today at 12:30 p.m. and telling me to report to the second floor. I walked through the Atrium toward the lifts, passing the fountain on which snow was now magically falling and the giant Christmas tree that was fully lit and decorated.

I got on the lift and told the operator that I wanted the second level. He nodded and the car rose in silence. When I exited onto the floor, I was greeted by a familiar face, one that had apparently also been summoned.

"You got a card too?" I asked Moony when I realized that it was him.

"Yeah. Any ideas why we're here?" he responded, looking rather confused.

"None whatsoever. Maybe it's security for the wedding?" I postulated. Moony shrugged and we stood there looking at one another, since we didn't even know where to go on the second floor. A young, dark haired witch came up to us.

"Misters Lupin and Potter, if you'll follow me, please?" she asked and we looked at one another and complied. She lead us past the Auror department and down a hall that lead to the Wizengamot offices. We turned off from the main hallway into a small waiting room and outer office. There were two doors behind the desk, one on either side. She opened the one to the right and held it for us to walk through.

"Please have a seat, someone will be with you in just a moment," she smiled and left the room. We sat down in the chairs across from the desk and gave each other a questioning glance. Just then, the chair behind the desk turned around and Anwen was looking at us, her mouth grinning wildly.

"Gentlemen, thank you for being on time," she grinned as she spoke to us. _Why did Anwen summon us here? She could have just asked us._ She waved her hand over a box on her desk, "Edie, bring the things that I asked to have brought up from downstairs please; and also, please hold all of my calls and visitors. Thank you," she waved her hand again. "Sorry for the cloak and dagger, but I needed this to be kept secret from Sirius. I need your help guys."

The door opened and the witch, who I now presumed to be Edie walked in with a tray full of sandwiches and bowls of things as well as several butterbeers and a steaming mug of something. She placed it on the table and then left the room. "Thanks Edie," Anwen said as she exited the door. Anwen then waved her hand at the door, I presumed to seal it.

"Don't want to be interrupted or overheard. Come on guys, come over and eat something, I need to talk with you," she smiled a rather devious smile. _What is little Winnie up to?_

As we moved to the table, my curiosity finally got the best of me, "All right Winnie, what gives?"

"You're throwing Sirius a stag party, right?" she said with a smile that let us know that she already knew the answer.

"Yeah," Moony replied, skeptically.

"Good. Are you having strippers?" she asked far too matter of factly. _Shit, I don't know how to answer that. She could get upset at the idea, or if we lie, she could get really upset that we weren't honest with her._ "Ummm..." I answered; she looked at us incredulously.

"Either you are or you aren't, but this is Sirius we are talking about here. He is, after all, known for the enjoyment that he garners from 'window shopping'" she said, making quotations in the air with her fingers, "and for his reputation for his playboy past. So?" she paused waiting for us to answer. "Guys, I'm fine. So I ask you again, are there going to be strippers?" Remus and I looked at each other and I finally nodded my affirmation.

"Great!" she said with a mischievous grin that mirrored her soon to be husband's. She even rubbed her hands together for effect.

"You are Anwen Hodgson, Auror and projecting visualist, right? Generally intimidated by beautiful women, even though you are one?" Remus asked her, she nodded at us. "What are you up to?"

"A prank – one of the grandest scale. Look, after the magical binding, I won't be able to use my wand or my magic against my husband. It's part of the binding ceremony, we will be sharing our magic. So, I figured that I needed to get in one last, really good prank while I can. And I need to do it when he is both least expecting it, and when it will be highly embarrassing for him." She smiled rather proudly as she talked.

"When did you get so devious?" I asked her, honestly shocked. _She never really took part in the pranks when we were at school, save that great one she pulled on Matthew; and then when school was over, she had a greater work load than any of the rest of us. In fact, it was only recently, that she had begun being able to relax and enjoy things._

"Please, four years as the Marauder's Apprentice and years more as a nursemaid to a werewolf, I picked up a few tricks for participating in less than wholesome fun. So, do you want to hear my plan?" she sounded somewhat impatient with us.

"Do we?" I asked her, only imagining what she was up to.

"Look, I've accepted Sirius for who he is, warts and all. He's a flirt and a complete cad some days; but he **loves** me and has chosen to spend his life with me. The glimmering eye and crooked grin to other women means nothing to me, since I'm the one he's making a home with and holding each night. Something changed, in me, after the handfasting last week. There is a peace inside of me about this. I know that he loves me, completely, the rest is just who he is. I really do believe that. The whole mess in Greece taught us both that. We can't be other than what we are. Trying to deny that just makes us crazy. He keeps me from drowning in responsibility. I keep him grounded in adulthood," she looked at us, and I know that my mouth was hanging open.

Her face changed to one of incredulousness. "Hey, it only took me six and a half years to learn that," I know I was looking at her shocked. _Is this the same girl that was bawling and nearly comatose over him not even four months ago? How she had changed. What had Sirius done to her?_

"Well, it's about time! I have been telling you that for years!" Moony laughed at her. I soon joined in. She smiled and let a little laugh loose from her. When we were finished laughing, she started talking again. I opened a butterbeer and grabbed a sandwich and started eating. Moony did the same, Anwen however, just picked at things, and drank some coffee.

"First, where is the party going to be and when?" She took a small bite from a slice of apple.

"That's easy, 28 December and at the Manor. I'll go and get your Dad and your brothers and bring them through the wards," I told her. "We're going to have dinner first, so that your brothers and Harry can participate, and then we'll take the younger guys home. Your Dad can stick around if he wants or not, the choice will be his. We've got a whole side of venison to cook," she curled her nose up at the idea. _This wasn't her meal, it was for Sirius, and he enjoys it, although, I do admit that I can't stand eating the stuff since I became an animagus. Feels like cannibalism._ "After the kids are gone, we can move into the, um, entertainment and beverage part of the evening," Anwen rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Watch how much he drinks, please. He doesn't hold his liquor all that well, especially the muggle stuff," she said, rather put out.

"Something you want to share with us Anwen?" Moony asked her.

"Come on, you remember him with the Firewhiskey," she said, clearly trying to cover something up.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's what you're talking about. What do you think, Prongs?" Moony pushed.

"Firewhiskey isn't a Muggle Drink. Anwen, when has Sirius been drunk on Muggle booze?" I asked.

"Fine. The summer after all of you graduated, when we were first living in the London house, I took Sirius to a cast party. We were having a good bit of fun, he had chastised me for not wearing enough clothes – which he was right about, and I taught him to dance," she paused and looked at us. "Not formal dances, like from the ball, but Muggle dancing, like they do in clubs. Anyway, the guys from the crew had taken a shine to Sirius, and they decided that they would just keep filling his glass, so no matter how much he drank, it wouldn't seem that he had ever put a dent into his pint. So, needless to say, Sirius ended up really drunk. He took the cast slut out into the alleyway and was snogging her madly. I had to hex him, with his own wand, to get him to leave with me," she told us, grinning greatly as she did. _ I forgot how her whole face lights up when she really smiles. She didn't do it much when Sirius was gone._

"How did we not know this?" I asked her.

"Well, I was going to tell you, give you some blackmail material, but then your parents took sick and it was time for me to go back to school and I just never got around to it," she shrugged. "He's a happy drunk, insanely flirtatious; he even tried to kiss me again that night," Anwen looked a million miles away while she was talking with us.

"Wait, again? I thought your first kiss was at your sixteenth birthday party. We were all there, couldn't hardly miss it," Remus spoke up.

"How little you all knew? It was at the Yule Ball, your seventh year; we were alone for that one. Completely surprised and confused the heck out of me," she sighed. "Okay, so just watch him with the liquor, please. He's got to lead you guys to rescue me from my family the next day."

"Got it, easy on the hard stuff," I assured her.

"Now, would you like to know about my prank?" she took a deep breath. "Since the debacle in Greece, um, I told Sirius that I wouldn't have sex with him until our wedding night."

"Lily did the same damn thing to me. What are you girls thinking? Do you want us desperate on our wedding nights?" I asked her.

"I don't know what Lily's motivation was, but mine had to do with trust initially, now, it's more out of determination. Don't let him know, but I am going mad with desire," she sighed.

"This is all just a little too much information, Win. Sirius is like my brother, but I really don't need to know what the two of you do when you're alone," _we had long ago passed into the realm of uncomfortable with this conversation._

"Okay, okay. Glad that you're not part of girls night. Know far too much about you and Lils then." I groaned in understanding.

"So anyway. I was thinking, that instead of him having the normal reaction that men do when they see a beautiful woman..." I began feeling squeamish again and I looked at Moony and could tell that he felt the same way. "...oh dear lord you two, it's perfectly normal," she said dropping her hands to the table and rolled her eyes at us. "Anyway, instead of having the normal enhancing effect, what if it had the opposite. Each time he would, um," she paused, looking for the right word "react, he'd suffer some shrinkage. I've worked out the spell already, and I can curse him ahead of time, and then just have an activator at the appropriate time," my mouth fell open. _Anwen is actually suggesting that she shrink his...that's beyond anything I ever thought she was capable of. _Winnie sat there with the most wicked smile on her face. _It really is a good prank, get Sirius right where it would really hurt._ "What I need from you guys, is to slip him the activator at the right time, just before your entertainment shows up."

"Anwen, that's sick and cruel and absolutely wonderful. I assume that you've worked out the counter curse as well?" I asked her, Moony still looked shell shocked.

"Of course, it's really simple. A kiss from me will end the problem for him," she cocked her head and smiled.

"That is simply brilliant. We couldn't have done any better at the height of our Marauding days. You should be very proud of yourself," Moony finally spoke to her.

"I did have to enlist the help of our favorite Potions Master, but he was more than willing to help me develop the activator to go with the spell. He's coming in for the wedding, I think Ewan would enjoy being there to watch this enfold as well."

"Definitely, the more the merrier. So, do you have it?" she nodded and got up and walked to her desk. She waved her hand over a drawer and it popped open and she pulled out a small phial.

"Here, it takes about fifteen minutes for full effect. I'll do the actual spell before he leaves that night. Now, do you guys have any questions, either about this, or about my 'kidnapping'?" Anwen said, handing me the small bottle. I pocketed it and I looked at Moony and shook my head.

"Doesn't seem like it. You sure you don't want him to use magic to find you?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I'm sure. They already know where they're taking me, and Sirius should be able to figure it out, if he simply stops to think about it. It's in London, a place that's special for the two of us, but it's in the Muggle world. I have faith he'll figure it out."

"Okay then. You're the one in charge here," she smiled at the two of us, and we finished our lunches, talking mostly about Harry and the attention that he was getting now. _Someone asked us last week why Voldemort had gone after Harry, but we really didn't know the answer. I need to talk with Albus about it when the whole wedding thing is over._

**Anwen POV:**

"Ma, will you check on the goose in the oven for me, please?" I was at one end of the kitchen in Grimmauld Place, and my Ma was at the other. I had a roast beef in the magical stove, and the goose in the Muggle one. The kitchen table was laden with side dishes and other parts of the meal that we were getting ready to send upstairs on the dumbwaiter. Ma opened the oven and tested the meat.

"Anwen, it's done, would you like me to pull it?" she asked me while I was setting the drippings to whisk while I added the rue to make the gravy. I flicked my fingers and the whisk started spinning.

"Yes, please. I'll carve upstairs on the sideboard. I hope I have enough food," I said as I turned my attention from the gravy to getting the Yorkshire pudding out of the pan.

"Anwen, you could feed an army here, you have plenty of food. Is there anything else that I can do for you?"

"No Ma, thanks. Why don't you go upstairs and have everyone get to the table? I think the kids are up in the ballroom. Send Sirius or James up to get them and bring them to the table please," I needed to get her out of the kitchen so that Kreacher could come out and help me get all of this to the table.

"All right dear. I'll see you upstairs," she said leaving the room. I finished plating the Yorkshire, and went through my mental checklist of the meal, making sure that everything was in place, mentally berating myself for making my first big meal at the new house Christmas Dinner, with twenty-four people. _We had invited the members of Sirius extended family that we associated with, along with our Marauder Family. My whole family was in for the wedding. None of my extended family remembered us, which was hard for my Ma, so I figured that she would be better with large family around her._ I was lost in my thoughts when I felt Sirius wrap his arms around me, kissing my temple.

"This is amazing. I don't ever remember seeing this much food in this kitchen, and I can tell you, there was never this much joy or music in the house at Christmas before. Thank you. This may be the best Christmas this old house has ever seen," he smiled at me, pained by remembering his childhood holidays here.

"May this be the first of many, many holidays here, I love you," I gushed back at him.

"I love you. Now, do you need help getting all of this upstairs?"

"Yes, I was going to summon Kreacher now that my Ma is out of here to help me. I was afraid of what he might say to her, plus I'm not sure that she will take well to the whole house elf thing," I scrunched my face up at it. _I can only imagine what he would say to a plain, old Muggle in his kitchen; he had a hard enough time with me, and I was the lady of the house. _Sirius nodded at me with understanding.

"Kreacher," he called, and a moment later we heard the pop of his appearance into the kitchen. We had created some nice quarters for Kreacher off of the pantry, and he lived there, with some odds and ends from around the house that we had let him keep. He had the only remaining picture of Sirius' parents in the house, but he was told that he had to keep it in there.

"You called for me sir," he said, his voice thick with apathy at being summoned by Sirius. _At least he isn't openly hostile anymore._

"All of this food needs to get upstairs, but you may not Apparate it up. Use the dumbwaiter please. Put warming or cooling charms on each dish before it is sent upstairs. Thank you," Sirius ordered him. Kreacher bowed and began checking dishes and moving them with his magic to the dumbwaiter. I gave the gravy one last look, poured it into waiting bowl and went upstairs with my fiancée, hand in hand. When we arrived on the ground level, most of the family was gathering at the table in the dining room. Liddy had helped me set the table earlier in the day. We were using the Black family dishes, because it was the only set in the house that head enough for all of these people. We'd covered the inlay over with fresh greens, tucking red and white roses, small candles and silver balls in-between.

"So, tell me, what does one do with a plastic flamingo for your lawn? Is it there to charm the other birds or scare them away?" Arthur Weasley asked my father. I had hoped to keep him from accosting my family too badly with his strange questions. He was obsessed with Muggle things, and would often sit with me at lunch and ask me about the most inconsequential items. Arthur's enthusiasm and interest often made me laugh.

"Arthur, there is no point to them. They are just there for decoration," Ted Tonks intervened, and my Da went and sat by my Ma on the other side of the table. Ted, being Muggle born wizard, was better prepared to deal with Arthur, and sat down next to him. The children were dispersed among the adults, or at least the older children. Ron Weasley, the youngest of the Weasley boys was sitting with Harry. Dora was sitting with Liddy, Eira, and Ginny Weasley, their only girl, and they were talking rather animatedly about something, and then giggling wildly. They were all in the wedding next week, and had tried on their dresses earlier, and I was sure it had something to do with them. The only thing that made me nervous was seeing my brother Haf with the Weasley twins; that combination made me uncomfortable and I knew that they would be seeing much of each other in the next week. I poked Sirius in the ribs and pointed it out to him.

"I'll keep an eye on them love, don't worry. Nothing will ruin dinner tonight," he whispered at me, kissing me on the cheek and going to take his seat at the other end of the table. I took a deep breath and noticed that Lily and Mrs. Weasley had gotten the food off the dumbwaiter and put it out on the sideboard for me. I checked to make sure that everything was there, which it was, and invited those who were not yet seated to do so.

"Um, thank you all, for being here with us. Sirius and I are pleased to open our home to you all. Please, before we tuck in, I would like to offer a word of prayer," the assembled folded their hands and bowed their heads.

"Lord, we are so thankful for the family gathered here. We are blessed by each of them, and what they have brought to both our new family and the wedding that will tie us all together. We thank you for the food that is here, and would ask that in all that we are, and in all that we do, we would be worthy of such a bountiful gift; of this we pray, Amen," everyone lifted their hands and heads back to the table.

"Sirius, will you start the dishes please?" I couldn't believe how nervous I suddenly felt. I waved my hand at the goose and beef and they were magically carved and piled nicely on the plates.

"Before we eat, there is something that I would like to say," Sirius' cousin, Andi rose to speak. "My family and I were never close, even when I was a child. I never expected to be back in this house in my lifetime. Thank you Sirius, thank you for welcoming not only me, but my husband and my daughter back into our family," she stopped, choked up. Sirius rose from his chair, and gave his long estranged cousin a hug, whispering something in her ear. I was fighting back tears at the sight. I knew in my heart how much it meant to Sirius for us all to be here together like this, it was nice to know that it meant something to the others as well. When they broke apart, I was sure that his eyes were glistening as well. He returned to his seat and raised his glass.

"A toast, to the family seated here. One that has been forged from love, not blood. To family."

"To family," we all repeated and each of us drank. I discretely brushed my lips over my right wrist and Sirius looked up, surprised, "I love you" I mouthed, and he smiled his lopsided grin back.

Dinner proceeded with little problem. With this many children at the table, it would have been unrealistic to expect that nothing would be spilled, and luckily, it was only one small glass of wine that did not remain upright. When we had all had our fill, we went upstairs to the ballroom, where we had set up the large Christmas tree, and had conjured enough seating for all that were there. We had opened gifts from my family that morning at the farm, and then had gone over to the Manor to see Harry on Christmas morning. He was overjoyed when we gave him his own dog, a black retriever he insisted on calling Blackie, in honor of his godfather who had picked it out. We had saved one gift for each of the family members to open tonight, along with the gifts for each of the others spending the evening with us. Sirius and I had decided to wait, at his insistence, to share our gifts to one another while everyone was here.

I had struggled with what to get Sirius this year. Nothing leapt easily to mind, and the only good idea that I had, I had used for our wedding gift. I finally decided that I would give him a small part of myself, something that he had never seen before. I reached around and pulled out a rectangular box, pushing it toward him, and held my breath.

He unwrapped the box, and took out the leather bound book. As he opened it, it dawned on him what he was holding. It was the story of my life, the time before we knew each other. I had told him bits and pieces of my life in the Opera School, but he knew little of my childhood. It was all there, including pictures and programs from concerts. Stories of my grandparents and living on a dairy farm. Different family members had written letters about me, and I had even contacted a few former teachers and friends who would indeed remember who I was in London. I was finally willing to share the part of me that I had kept hidden for all the years that we had known each other. He looked at me, his mouth hanging open and pulled me close, and holding me tightly.

"I know it's not a lot, but there was nothing that you needed. So, I gave you me," I whispered.

"I had given up hope that you would ever tell me about it," he whispered back. We held each other for a few moments, steadying ourselves.

"I have one other small thing for you," I said, when we pulled away from each other.

"Yeah? Where is it?" he asked me, noticing that there was nothing left under the tree.

"Here," I said reaching into my pocket. I handed him the key to my new car, my shiny black BMW, the one that I had bought five months ago, and which I had told him he was not allowed to drive until he had a proper muggle driver's license. He had gotten one two days ago.

"You are going to let me drive your car?" he said full of surprise.

"It was our promise. But, you are not allowed to tinker, add to or in any other way enhance it, understand?" I said, letting the key drop into his hand. I started to regret my decision already. He said nothing, just cocked his eyebrow and smiled at me.

"All right my dear, would you like your gift?" he asked me.

"Sure, but there isn't anything left under the tree, Sirius."

"Nope, you have to get up, we've got to go to it," I looked at him oddly as he stood and offered me his hand. I took it and got up. "Come on everyone, you can see too," he said, talking to the others in the room. They began following us as he was leading me down to the far side of the room. "Happy Christmas love," he said as he opened the door to the little bedroom off the ballroom. Except, it wasn't a bedroom anymore, it was a music and dance studio. I walked in, and was amazed to see one wall covered in mirrors with a barre. My upright piano was in the far corner and our guitars and amps were against the wall. There was a small filing cabinet that I assumed was holding all of my music.

"I know you haven't done much singing or dancing the last few years, but I want to you to. It brings you so much joy. Now, you have a space for it," he said, taking me into his arms.

"Sirius, it's wonderful. I love it. Thank you so very much," I kissed him lightly, and we got several cat calls from the younger boys.

"I have one more small thing for you. It's something you asked for," he said, reaching onto the small table by the door to grab a long, thin box. I couldn't for the life of me think of what was in it. I didn't remember asking for anything. I held it in my hands trying to remember what I had asked him for. "Go on and open it, it won't do it for itself," he laughed at me.

I slipped the paper from the box and lifted the lid and stood there in amazement at the gift. I looked at it and then looked at Sirius as tears overtook me. "I can't believe that you did this," I got out before I started blubbering completely. He pulled me to him as I began to cry hysterically with joy and love.

"Hey, I wanted to make you happy, not make you cry," he whispered in my ear. I nodded against him and tried to gather myself together. I wiped the tears from my face and looked at him.

"Thank you so much. There is nothing that you could have given me that would have meant more," I told him as earnestly as I could.

"You gonna tell the rest of us what was in that box that has you gushing like a fountain, sis?" I heard Islwyn say. I nodded at him, and turned myself around in Sirius arms, leaning against him for support.

"He carved a spoon for me," I took the wooden spoon from the box and held it up. He had made the bowl of the spoon into a heart and had carved a large dog and a flying bird onto the heart. I passed it around, my mother asking what the significance of the carving was, but I couldn't answer her. Sirius simply told her that it seemed right. She was happy with the answer.

We left the music room and went to back into the ballroom and sat down, and Sirius told the story of how he had gone to Wales and had an old woodworker explain to him the significance of the tradition and how exactly to do it. He had been working on it since we announced our engagement. As he spoke, my heart filled with so much love, I thought that it might burst. I looked around the room and realized that we had done what we had set out to do. The Black family, at least this little branch, was happily celebrating together. I couldn't wait to officially be part of it, and there were only six days left. A wide smile crept across my face at the thought.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32:**

**You Knew Where to Find Me**

**Anwen POV:**

"Lily, it's confunding. The wedding is in three days, and I have nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. The plans are completed, others are in charge, and the only thing left for me to manage is my mother. When we hit this point before your wedding, you were going barmy. I'm going stir crazy."

"Are you excited?" Lily asked me. We were staying at Grimmauld Place, so the boys could have free reign over at the Manor. Harry had gone to sleep up in his Uncle Sirius' old bedroom. He'd finally removed the posters that bothered me from the walls. His motivation was that I would not let Harry sleep in there with them.

"Are you daft? Of course I'm excited, but it's not really about the whole wedding thing. I'm excited to go through the magical ceremony and the binding of our magic. I'm excited to say 'I Do' and to hear someone call me Anwen Black for the first time, and to get to refer to Sirius as my husband. I'm brimming with excitement to be Sirius' wife. Those are the things that I am excited for.

"The final ceremony, the big production number at the Ministry, at this point I could do without it. I'm so sick of making plans and listening to people organize inconsequential things. The final straw was when they wanted to tell me what music we were using. That went too far," I told her sighing. We'd just checked on Harry and were now coming back from the fourth floor. I really was over having to deal with Ministry people, thankfully, I had no plans to enter the Ministry building until nine a.m. on my wedding day, and then, Lily would protect me from anyone wanting to ruin my day. After that, I had weeks before I would return to the Ministry. I was hopeful that by my return, someone else would be the gossip du jour.

"You want to see Sirius' wedding gift?" I asked her on the third floor landing outside our bedroom. Lily nodded excitedly as I unsealed the door. We walked in and I heard her gasp.

"Anwen, it's remarkable. I've never seen anything like it."

"Thank you. It was really rather difficult to paint, but I am so impressed with the work Mr. Silverman did. It's inspiring. I think Sirius will like it as well," I smiled at her.

"Anwen, Sirius will love this," I couldn't wait to show him the entire suite, but it would have to wait a few more days. I took her around the rest of the house, showing her the changes we had made. We kept the top three floors sealed off at Christmas, the renovations weren't quite complete then, and it wouldn't have been safe to have people walking around, especially all the children that were here. We settled ourselves in the drawing room, drinking hot chocolate. _This has become my favorite room, now that all the dark magic has been removed, it's very lovely and comfortable._

The furniture had all been re-upholstered, and the walls were now a cheery yellow with a deep moss green carpet in the center of the hardwood floors. The furniture was all in deeper greens or brown leather. Mrs. Black's heavy secretary had been removed, and my large desk and comfortable chair had replaced it. Best of all, my books now had a home. Most of them lined the walls of the room, the rest awaiting their places until after the wedding. I looked at the mantle clock and it said 9:00 p.m. and I smiled.

"What just made you so happy?" Lily quizzed me.

"Um, I set up a rather brilliant prank on Sirius, and it should be taking effect right about now," I grinned at her.

"What did you do?" Lily asked, torn between her awe that I would try to prank one of the Marauder's and her shock at the audacity it would take.

"Let's just say that Sirius won't soon forget that one special part of him truly belongs to me," her eyes got wide.

"You didn't!" I nodded my sweet assent. "You hexed his...Anwen, he is going to be livid. He was disgusted when I hexed James that way."

"He wasn't disgusted, he was terrified. Once I put it right, he'll probably be delighted that I pulled it off. He was so proud of me the last time that I had to curse him," I thought back to his reaction all those years ago. Lily questioned me with her eyes. "Another time, it's rather hilarious," we were silent for a moment, Lily looking at the tapestry on the wall.

"You did a good job repairing it. If it wasn't that there were so many lunatics on it, I think I'd be impressed with his family," Lily told me.

"I agree wholeheartedly. We kept it for the beauty of the tapestry, not from respect for his ancestors."

"Anwen, you did get the music you wanted for the wedding, right? They understand how important that would be to you?" she looked at me concerned.

"Yes, I did. It took a while. Everyone had conveniently forgotten that I had quite a background in music before I even went to Hogwarts. After I came home from the first meeting in tears, Sirius insisted that he come with me to the next one. He sort of set them all straight," I blushed remembering his tirade. "The way he described my voice, and what even listening to music with me does to him – it blew me away. They didn't argue with me again."

I opened my mouth to say something more, but before I could get it out, I heard footsteps bounding up the stairs. I looked toward Lily and we both began to giggle.

"Sirius, Sirius stop!" It was James, yelling at the first set of footsteps that I assumed belonged to my fiancée.

"I can't believe that you guys did this to me. Make it stop!" I found myself laughing. _He is blaming James and Remus. This is even better than I hoped._ I got up and walked to the drawing room door, looking at the landing at the far end of the hall, waiting for him to reach it. He was taking the stairs two at a time, so he got up here in no time. He was horror struck when he realized that I was standing there. I struggled to keep a straight face.

"Sirius, love, what are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did something happen?" my voice was thick with mock concern. I walked over to him and put my arms around him, putting my fingers through his hair to stroke the nape of his neck, which generally drove him crazy. It produced the desired effect. Distress showed on his face. Remus and James made it to the landing by now, both stifling laughter. Lily had come to the doorway to watch as well.

"No, um, nothings wrong, dear. I'm just tired, I'm going upstairs" he said, trying to untangle himself from me. I wasn't having it.

"Harry is asleep in your old room. You're supposed to be at the Manor tonight. However, since you're here..." I leaned into him, "...I was going to try out the tub in the bathroom on this floor, you feel like joining me?" I whispered in his ear, sucking on his ear lobe for effect. He groaned and then yelped.

"Guys, please make it stop!" he pleaded with his friends. They laughed at him.

"We would if we could," James finally coughed out. He and Remus were holding onto the banister to keep from falling down the stairs. Lily was holding her sides as she laughed, catching on to what was happening.

"Awe, come on, please," Sirius begged them, I couldn't do it to him anymore. I stood directly in front of him, putting my hands on either side of his face.

"Sirius, kiss me," I told him. He fought against me, as I tried to pull him down, to end the spell.

"Anwen, please not now, no, not right now," he turned his head away from me.

"Sirius, honestly, you want to kiss me," I said, stifling a laugh.

"Anwen, if you knew what was happening, you wouldn't be laughing. Please, get away from me," he said, trying to pull my arms off of him. I stamped my foot against the floor boards.

"Sirius Black, get your lips down here and kiss me, now!" I glared at him. He opened his eyes in shock, and reluctantly, drew himself to me. I kissed him passionately, and after a moment, he drew himself back, a look of relief on his face. "And with a kiss, the beautiful commoner saved the handsome prince," I smirked at him.

"You knew?" he said, shocked, looking from me to the guys.

"Gotcha!" I said, with my eyebrow cocked and my lips curled.

"They didn't?" he said, tilting his head toward the guys. I shook my head no. "You did!" The shock rippling through him as I nodded yes.

"One prank before I'd never have the chance. Rather ingenious, wouldn't you say?" pulling myself taught against him. "Everything seems to be back to normal," he leaned down and kissed me deeply.

"You did that? You hexed my...? Anwen Llyn Hodgson, I didn't know you had it in you!" He kissed me again, far too intimately for an audience to see.

"Okay, we get it, you're working fine again, Sirius. We don't want a demonstration in the hallway!" James yelled at us. Sirius broke off the kiss and glared at his friend.

"Had to be certain. Wouldn't want to disappoint my beautiful and brilliant bride here," he yelled over his shoulder.

"Oh baby, you never disappoint," I said in a deep, husky voice. All three of our friends groaned in disgust, while Sirius groaned for other reasons. I smiled at him. "Go back, enjoy the rest of your party, now that things are fixed. I'll be waiting for you to rescue me tomorrow," I smiled at him, my heart bursting with love.

"Really? You're making me leave?" I nodded at him. "After all of that, I still don't get a shag?" I shook my head no. "First you hex me, then you torture me. You will be the death of me, little one."

"Sorry," my mock repentance was sickeningly sweet.

"No, you're not!"

"True. Go on, make sure that you're capable of finding me tomorrow."

"I will find you. I'm so impressed that you pulled this off," he kissed me lightly and leaned his head against mine. "In less than three days, you will be my wife. I love you," I closed my eyes and sighed and breathed as he said the word wife, his breath caressing my face.

"I, you, my love. Goodnight," he turned and the three of them took off for the floo fireplace on the lowest level. Lily and I talked for a while longer, but she retired to the guest room on the top floor, and I went to draw myself a wonderful bath, and imagined what my dear fiancée would to do me if he were here. The wedding night couldn't get here soon enough.

**Sirius POV:**

_I should have never underestimated her family. Arriving at the farm, James, Remus, Ted and I were greeted with an unexpectedly well prepared attack. I had no idea that they would have booby trapped the farm to make our approach more difficult. Anwen, she had made me swear that I would not use magic to find her, I was regretting that decision now. The boys had somehow gotten hold of some cow dung, and had trip wires all over the place, so that as we approached, we were pelted with piles of shit. Then, when we went to open the door, we were showered in very, very cold water, made colder by the fact that it was late December. I was beginning to hate this whole thing. _

_The house was empty when we got there. There was a note from her father, saying that they had taken her someplace safe, and was the custom, she was able to leave me one clue. There is her neat script, was my single clue._

_Sirius love, you will find me on your perch, reading old words._

"What the hell does that mean?" I had blurted out when I read it.

"She's your fiancée? If you don't know, then the rest of us will never be able to figure it out," James snapped back at me, trying to figure out if he should clean or dry himself off first.

"Okay, hold on, we know more than just those few words. Anwen told you it was some place important for the two of you, and it is a Muggle place. That has to narrow it down some, right?" Remus interjected, and I felt better about it.

"Yeah, it should. First, let's get ourselves cleaned up. Can't use magic to find her, but we can use magic to clean ourselves up," I said, trying to rack my brain. _A perch, what perch? She's the bird._ We cleaned ourselves and sat down at the kitchen table, and started to think about places that she could be.

"Well, she told us it was in London, which means we have to get ourselves back to the city," Remus added gently.

"How are we getting ourselves back to London? We can't use magic." I interjected. _Crap. I don't even have the motorbike here._

"Anwen drove the car out yesterday and Disapparated herself back. It's in the unfinished part of the barn. She wanted to make your job easier," he smiled back at me. _That is why I love this girl. _My head was still groggy and confused from the drinking the night before. There were too many places in London that we had been. Nothing was coming to mind that was exceptionally special. Everything with Winnie was memorable.

We were talking for a while, not having anything come to us, when James suggested that we look at the words of her note more closely. "She's smart and deliberate. The words themselves might be a clue."

"The word that sticks out there is perch. I mean, unless she is talking about a fish, which wouldn't make any sense, it's got to be something you sit on, right?" I said.

"Yeah. A bird sits on a perch. Anything special to her about birds?" Ted asked, innocently. The Marauders and I groaned at missing that obvious bit of help.

"Anwen is an Animagus. She becomes a kestrel," Moony tried to tell him gently.

"Did you ever go to the bird house at the London Zoo?" He said, trying to be helpful.

"She doesn't like to see birds caged up, says it makes her feel bad, knowing how much she likes to fly," I said, thinking back to how uncomfortable the Welsh Mountain Bird Area made her, when we took Harry. Nothing like the snakes, but there was a sadness in her when she saw them caged up.

"I know what she means. I can't stand eating venison anymore," James added.

"But you served it last night?" I asked him, rather surprised.

"Well, that's because you like it. For me, it's just gross," Ted looked a little confused, but we decided the drop it. We'd still not registered ourselves.

"Okay, so it's not seeing a bird. Maybe it's the word itself. When you perch yourself on something, your sitting, your resting. You're up off the ground," Remus was talking away, using a sort of word association thing to get ideas going. _Sitting, up off the ground. S_omething was sparking in my head. _ Special place for us in London. Where I would sit, up off the ground ...in London, where I would watch her._ It finally dawned on me where she was. _I can't believe it took us this long to figure it out._

"I know where she is," I blurted out.

"What? Where?" James said loudly.

"She's at the theater. When she was in the plays, I would climb the light rigging and watch her on stage. She said that it made her feel better to know I was there keeping an eye on her. We have to get to the theater," I said standing up. _Hopefully she won't ask how long it took for us to figure it out. _I pulled the new key from my pocket, and we went out the back door toward the old barn.

"May I suggest that we put up a shield charm, just in case her brothers left us any more surprises?" James put forth and we all silently protected ourselves. It was smart thinking, for no sooner than we had guarded ourselves, did the cow dung begin flying towards us.

"What is it with those boys and poop?" Ted asked.

"No idea, but I bet that they had some help coming up with the idea," I said, thinking back to the hushed conversations they were having with the Weasley's twin boys on Christmas. Remus unlatched the barn doors, and we climbed into the car. I was set to start the car, when I noticed a note hung on the steering wheel. Anwen's graceful script had formed my name.

_Sirius, get out and let Ted drive. He's got more experience. Remus can navigate since he has driven the trip with me before. I'll know if you drove, so get out and sit in the back with James._

_How the hell does she know what I am thinking from such a distance? _I sighed and got out of the car and switched places with Ted. Remus got out and switched with James. As I sat down in the back, I realized why we never transported full grown adults back here. It was cramped and small and my legs were folded up in an uncomfortable way. _At least it's only three hours back to London, how bad could it be?_

When we finally arrived at the theater early that evening, I wasn't sure that I could feel my feet anymore. We had taken a wrong turn, and then got caught in traffic, generally it was a disaster. As we approached the building, there was a sign out front with my name on it, and an arrow. The troupe was off tonight, and there would be no one in the place, except for her family. We walked in the one unlocked door, after trying all eight that lined the front of the theater.

"Ah, so good of you to finally grace us with your presence, gentlemen. I was beginning to worry that ya weren't up for the task," her dad teased us.

"We had a hard time getting here. May I please see my beloved now?" I said in the kindest voice that I could. I wasn't in the mood to be fooled around with.

"Before you see her, you need to answer some general questions about my little girl. Mind you, if you answer more than two wrong, there will consequences. The boys have been working on this all week," her dad told me. _Great, I can only imagine what they have come up with, I am sure that it involves more cow dung._ "Your family here can help you, each of them, only once. There are six questions that you have to answer. One from each member of our family. Are you ready?"

"Yes sir, I believe that I know Anwen better than anyone," I said confidently, wishing inside that I had a moment to gather my thoughts.

"Okay then, Eira, would you like to ask your question?" Anwen's littlest sister peeked out from behind her dad and walked up to me.

"Hi Sirius," she blushed at me and kicked her feet. "What is my sister's favorite flower?" she said loudly. "There is one on her desk at work," she whispered, smiling at me. I bent down to look the little girl in the face.

"Your big sister's favorite flower is the national flower of Wales, the daffodil, she keeps an ever blooming one on her desk," I smiled at her, kissing her on the top of the head. She grinned back at me.

"Yeah, you got it right. You may go and talk with Haf. He has another question for you," she said, bouncing up and down. She slipped her little hand into mine, clearly intending to walk with us to our next question. Her dad had left the lobby area where we were talking, and the guys and I walked further into the cavernous space, where about halfway in, we came to her youngest brother.

"Did you like the presents we left you?" he grinned mischievously. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, you took time to clean up," he said, looking us up and down.

"They were impressive. We'll talk someday, let you in on a few pranks the three of us pulled in our day," I said back, smiling and indicating James, Remus and I.

"Yeah, well, I heard my sister got you but good the last night at the party. That was brilliant. Had to use magic of course, so we wouldn't be able to duplicate it, but it was brilliant," he said, clearly impressed with the little bit of spell work that Anwen had cast. "Okay, second question. When my sister is upset, what is the one food that she eats?" _Crap. What was it that Remus brought her the night that we made up? It was some sort of ice cream?_

"I need your help here man. I can't remember what kind of ice cream it is that she eats when she's upset," I turned looking at Remus.

"Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream. Open your damn freezer sometime, she keeps it stocked," Remus said back sarcastically.

"Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream," I said back confidently to the ten year old.

"That's right, but you got help. He can't answer anything else. You can move on to Islwyn now," Haf told me.

We walked into the theater proper, and just inside the doors, Islwyn was standing there. Haf had joined our ranks and was standing with Remus, in part I was sure, to make sure that he didn't try to help me again.

"This is a two part question. Name both the Christmas Carol that Anwen hates to sing, as well as the one that she loves to sing. Your hints are that they ended the winter concert with the first, and the second was our grandmother Hodgson's favorite carol," he said, thinking that he had tripped me up. I would always remember her singing the first to me, that first Christmas with the snow globe, and the second the night of the Yule Ball.

"Your sister hates to sing Silent Night" because she had to sing the descant repeatedly every time that there was a concert. Her favorite carol is "In the Bleak Midwinter," I said without needing any help.

"Good show. You may honestly know my sister after all."

"Thanks man," I said, smiling at his kind words. We walked farther down the aisle and came upon Liddy. Of all of Anwen's siblings, she was the one that could cause me the most grief, because they knew not only each other very well, but she knew me better than the rest.

"Hi Sirius, don't worry, you are doing really well so far. There are four Welsh wedding customs that Anwen is following. Name three of them, and if you can tell my why they are important, I'll be more impressed," Liddy looked at me and smiled.

"Um, okay. Well, there is this whole kidnapping thing that she insisted that we do, so that's one. We did it so that your family would feel like it was included and there was something of your heritage in it," I said, confident of that answer.

"Very good. Just two more."

"She's carrying, um, daffodils and myrtle as her wedding bouquet. The daffodils are her favorite, as Eira made me remember" I said picking up her hand and holding it high. "and the national flower of Wales and the myrtle is so that our marriage will be blessed?" I was less confident with the second part.

"Very, very good. You're right. She will give all the girls cuttings of her myrtle so that we can plant it and carry it on our wedding day, just like she is carrying Ma's. Okay, you need to come up with one more, and there are two left."

"Um, oh crap, she is wearing a pin on her dress, it was something left by your grandmother before she died and it's for luck, I think, but I can't remember what it is," I said, trying to rack my brains.

"Uh, Sirius, I bet it's a horseshoe. You wear it upside down to catch the luck on your wedding day, and then you throw it. Whoever catches it, they are supposed to be the next to marry," Ted offered. I looked back at him, and was kind of surprised. "My grandmother was Welsh. I remember from our wedding," he explained.

"Thanks man. That helped," I said, turning back to Liddy. "The horseshoe pin."

"Yup, but I'm surprised at the one you left off," I looked at her puzzled. "You did such a good job with it…the spoon Sirius, the spoon," I heard Anwen's sweet laughter, and I knew that we were close.

"Liddy, it caused me so much grief to get it right, I think I blocked it from my mind," I whispered to her and she laughed.

"Well, you did well, you only have to deal with my parents now," she proclaimed loudly. "Just remember, you love her very much, and that's all that they care about," she said more quietly, and I nodded at her, appreciating her concern for the questions to come. Liddy went and held Eira's other hand and we headed toward her mother.

"My eldest daughter is somewhat stubborn and set in her ways, which I am sure that you know by now. When she sets her mind to something, there is no dissuading her. What was the hardest decision that she ever had to make and why was it so hard for her?" Anwen's Ma looked at me. _This could be difficult. I knew from reading her Christmas gift to me, her choice of going to Hogwarts was very hard on her, knowing that she had made her parents unhappy. _I thought for a moment about how to word this.

"Anwen always respected you and Mr. Hodgson, and she never questioned that you loved her, but when she had to make the choice between staying at the Opera School in London, or coming to Hogwarts after Professor Dumbledore came to meet her when she was eleven, she was truly torn. You wanted her to stay in London, and continue to study and fulfill her potential in the Opera, but Anwen realized that she would be so much happier living in the magical world. Until then, she always felt like an outcast, like she didn't belong in the world that she was in, because she was different. It pained her greatly to choose magic, but she did. I remember how she wept over going against the two of you, and how fearful she was that she had disappointed you. But, in the end, she did what was best for her. And, I have to say, that I am really thankful that she did. If she hadn't come to Hogwarts, if she hadn't met Lily and sat in that compartment with her, if James hadn't been head over heels in love with Lily and sought her out, I would have missed the best thing that ever happened to me," I said with conviction. Anwen's mother looked at me with deep sincerity and love.

"There is no one who will ever love or understand my daughter better. Congratulations, son. You are worthy of my precious girl," before I knew what was happening, her mother had put her arms around me and was hugging me tightly. "Go on, you just have to deal with her father yet," she released me and I walked over to Anwen's Da, standing on the middle of the stage. I looked up, and there was my own angel, sitting on the lighting rig, waving down at me.

"Sirius, one last question. My daughter comes to you, and tells you that she wants the moon. What do you do?" I smiled at him. I only had to think about it for a second.

"I get her the moon and the sun and the stars to go with it," I replied.

"Very good. Take care of her," I could see the corners of his eyes getting wet, and I knew that he realized that she was no longer his little girl. Her Ma took him by the hand, and with that, her family left the theater. I stood there with my friends and Ted.

"Hey you," she smiled down at me. "Hi guys. Have fun?"

"It was interesting Anwen. You're brothers are rather um, Marauder-ish," James said, almost proudly.

"I could have warned you, but where would the fun have been in that. Thanks for helping him. I'll take it from here. Remus, will you put the car away at the little house?" she was still beaming, never really taking her eyes off me. She dropped her car key to the ground. Remus picked it up.

"Uh huh. I'll get it back out to Wales sometime too. Goodnight you two. See you at the Ministry tomorrow," Remus said, and I heard the three of them walk away. I was alone with my beautiful girl.

"You gonna stay down there and stare at me, or are you going to come and get me down from my perch?"

"I'll be right there," and I apparated myself to the rigging. She was still sitting, book in her hands. I sat down next to her and she laid her head on my shoulder. I leaned down and kissed her. When we broke apart, she sighed. "I've been waiting for that all day."

"Interesting choice. Why here?" I asked her, picking her hand up and weaving her fingers into mine. She continued to look off into the house.

"Because of how I felt the first time that I saw you sitting up here, without me knowing that you would be here. It's when I first felt that something was changing between us. I so badly wanted it that summer, when you wanted to kiss me after the cast party, I nearly let you, but I was afraid that you were only doing it because of the beer."

"Wait, I tried to kiss you that night?" she nodded at me. _This was a complete surprise. She'd never told me. Crap, that would have been the night that I kissed that girl after the party, what was her name? _"It wasn't the beer, love. When you were doing that play, the way that you held yourself, it blew me away. You weren't a little girl anymore. I was so afraid of what I was feeling, that it took me nearly a year to do anything about it," she leaned over and kissed me again.

"Well, I'm glad that you did," she leaned her head down on the railing, just staring at me, with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"What are you reading?"

"Measure for Measure. When I talked with Mr. Meriwether about using it for today, he asked me if I would think about coming back this summer, to do this play. There is a character that needs to sing in it. I haven't read it in years. I don't know. I don't want to think about it until after the honeymoon is over."

"Well, I think you should get yourself back up here. You were luminescent on stage, I would love to see it again."

"Thank you love. Any plans for tonight?" she asked, smiling at me.

"Ravishing you?"

"Two more days. There are two things that I want to do tonight. Care to join me?"

"I'll follow you anywhere," we Disapparated ourselves to the stage floor, and then walked out of the theater. Anwen closed and locked the front door and we walked around to our alley. "Where are we headed to?"

"Hogsmeade station. Come on, I'll even take you to dinner at the Broomsticks if you're good to me," she smiled and wrapped herself around me, and a minute later, we were in the small Scottish town. We walked up to the castle gates, the school was mostly empty, due to the winter break.

"I talked with Dumbledore the other day, he said that he was waiting for my request and agreed to let us on the grounds to do this," she took my hand and lead us through the wrought iron archway and toward the black lake. I smiled as we walked, realizing that she was going to sing with mermaids for me, once again.

It was different this time. Her voice had matured, and there was an emotion behind her voice that had not been there when she was younger. She had lost a little of the technical perfection that she had as a child, but she had gained so much more in the feelings that her voice would evoke. I was almost afraid to touch her as she sang. When she and the mermaids were done, we stood there in silence.

"Are you okay? You seemed so sad as you sang?" I asked her as she took my hand and we started to walk back toward the village.

"Yes, things have changed and I've changed since that first night. I guess…I don't know," she sighed and leaned her head against me. I just decided to drop it, I didn't want her to be sad right now. As we walked into the wizarding town, we strolled along the street, looking in the windows of the shops. We came to a familiar corner, and Anwen froze.

"Do you know, I haven't been in Hogsmeade since you tried to bring me that Valentine's Day of my last year?" she stopped and took a deep breath. "Sirius, I need to go down there. I need to end it," she said with both fear and resolve. She let go of my hand and started walking down the alley where she had been attacked. She wrapped her arms around herself and her steps slowed. As badly as I wanted to make it easier for her, I knew that this was her battle, and she would have to do it alone. She got to the spot that I assumed was the exact place of her attack, and she stared at the wall and the ground. Suddenly, she stamped her foot and raised her hands into the air.

"I am still here, you didn't beat me and you didn't take anything away from me! He still loves me!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, letting things loose and releasing her anger over the attack. When she brought her hands down, I could see that they were unclenched, and the tension seemed to have drained from her. I walked up behind her, and put my hand on her shoulder. She wove her fingers through mine and turned to face me, tears in her eyes.

"I am stronger than they ever predicted," she said strongly.

"You always have been," I said, looking her straight in the eyes. "Come on, you've made your peace. Let's go have dinner," she nodded her head at me, and turned herself so that we could leave the alley. We walked across the street and up a few doors to the Three Broomsticks and went inside. It wasn't very crowded and we found a booth near the back. We sat on the same side, my arm draped over her shoulders as she leaned her little body into mine. I ordered a butterbeer for myself and Anwen ordered some warm mulled wine. We spoke in hushed tones to one another, anxious for what would transpire over the next few days. We ordered some dinner, when Anwen noticed that a little girl was looking at us, she nodded her head over at her and I smiled at her. She looked at the floor and blushed.

"I think that you have an admirer." Anwen teased me. "Maybe I should be worried at how she is looking at you?"

"Come on, she's like what ten or so. It's like Eira, she always blushes when I'm around."

"That's because they know how handsome you are," Anwen leaned in to kiss me, when we heard a very small voice.

"Excuse me," the little voice said, we turned to look at the girl, her eyes bright with excitement. "Are you Auror Hodgson?" she asked Anwen.

"Yes, yes I am, but you can call me Anwen," my love spoke with such a gentle tone in her voice to the girl.

"Oh, really? Thank you! I was wondering if I could have your autograph?" she handed Anwen a newspaper. It was the _Daily Prophet_ that had our engagement picture in it.

"Sure, but why would you want it?" Anwen said, clearly a little confused.

"Because when I grow up, I want to be just like you," the little girl beamed. Anwen's mouth fell open.

"Why?"

"You saved me," Anwen furled her brow and looked at the girl. "A few years ago my, some Death Eaters came to my house. My mother was a Muggle, my daddy is a Wizard. They hurt Mommy very badly and they were going to hurt me next, but you came in and grabbed me and took me away. Then you took me to hospital and stayed with me until I was safe. You told me that everything would be okay, and it was. I saw your picture in the paper, and I told my Daddy it was you that saved me. I was so happy to know who you are," as the girl spoke, Anwen's face when from concern to surprise to wonder, and when she got to the end, she couldn't speak.

"I'm sure that Anwen thanks you for your kind words, don't you love?" I said, poking her lightly to bring her from her stupor.

"Oh, yes, of course. Thank you for coming to talk with me. Here, give me that, what is your name?"

"Breda. Breda O'Shannon."

"Well, Breda O'Shannon, this is for you," Anwen signed the picture and then handed it to me to sign as well.

"He's very cute." I heard the little girl whisper, and I nearly coughed out the laugh I was holding in.

"I think you're right. We're going to be married in two days, but he has permission to flirt with you any time that you're around," to make the point, I winked at her and gave her my best Marauding smile. She blushed and looked away again.

"Are you at Hogwarts yet?" Anwen handed her back the newspaper and the pen.

"No, I should be able to go next year, if I get my letter."

"I'm sure that you will," Anwen asked her.

"I want to be an Auror, just like you. I want to make sure that nobody is ever hurt the way that my Mummy was," she said resolutely. Anwen was fighting back her tears.

"That is a very honorable thing, you study hard and stay out of trouble, and I look forward to training you someday. Goodbye Breda, it was an honor to meet you," she smiled at the little girl, and then looked over to where her father was sitting and gave him a nod.

"Are you all right?" I asked her, squeezing her shoulders a little.

"I'm fine. That was such a gift. What did I ever do deserve to have someone look at me like that?"

"Anwen, you deserve to hear that and so much more," I turned her head to look at me. "You gave that little girl her life back, and you were kind and gentle with her on what was most likely the worst day of her life," I stroked her cheek with my free hand. "She sees in you what I see every day. Someone who isn't afraid of doing what's right. Someone who does the hard things and never grumbles about them, and who treats everyone with dignity and respect. It is I who often wonders what I did to deserve you," I leaned down and kissed the tears on her cheeks away. She said nothing, her eyes conveyed it all.

We ate our dinners in near silence, I could tell Anwen was deep in thought. She insisted on paying the bill and we walked back to the edge of town and apparated to the park just outside of Grimmauld Place. I let us in the house, she was still silent.

"Anwen, um, can you say something. You've been quiet for an awfully long time. Did I do something wrong?" I asked her. Her head popped and she looked at me horrified.

"Oh, love, no. I was just thinking. It's all so random."

"What's random? You've lost me here," I was confused by her. I lead her up the stairs to the drawing room and lit the fireplace and the fairy lights on the Christmas tree. We settled down on one of the love-seats and I covered us in the quilt that she kept draped over the edge.

"Life. It's all so random. What made that little girl be in the same place as us tonight? What made me choose Hogwarts over London? What if it hadn't been Lily that I had met on the first day, but it was someone else, and I had ended up in another house, would we have met? Would I have been crying on the sofa of another common room and someone else would have come and held me? Would I have told my secrets to anyone else? Would we have known each other, or would you just have been another cute boy at school that I was afraid to talk to? Would I have even stayed, or would I have gotten so scared that I just left that first night and went back to London and stayed there? And if that had happened, or if James hadn't found me the day of the attack, or if I hadn't become an Auror that was hell bent on hunting Death Eaters, would Breda be alive, or would have done something awful to her? And…" before she could go into another tirade, I kissed her, long and hard on the lips.

"Anwen…" I said as we broke away from one another, "…but everything did happen. We found each other, you saved her, just like you have saved countless others. We can't know why things happen, we just have to be thankful that they do. I can't imagine my life without you, even when you get talking so fast I can barely keep up," she smiled at me and kissed me again. "This is really happening isn't it. We are nearly married."

"Yeah," answered me, quiet again.

"Sirius, tell me the story of us. Tell me how you remember things. Tell me how you think we got here, and then I will tell you how I remember things," she looked at me earnestly, and I could tell that there was something unsettling her, and this was how she was looking for comfort. I started talking to her, telling her how I remembered our past, what she looked like or sounded like, and how she made me feel. She blushed several times, and watched me speak in amazement.

When I listened to her, I was surprised just how much of my motivation she had figured out. She was really far more perceptive, even when she was no more than a child, than I gave her credit for. It was nearly midnight when we finally got to the point in the story that was right here, right now. We climbed into my childhood bed, and I was happy just to hold her.

"You do realize, this is the last time we will sleep here, together. Tomorrow, I will be out at the Manor with Lily and you will be?" she said as we curled our bodies together.

"Here, with James and Remus. We're going to take a ride on the bike…" Anwen rolled her eyes at me.

"Last night as a free man?" she quipped, remembering my comment before James and Lily's wedding all those years ago.

"Nope, last night as a lonely man. I don't see marriage the same way, and you have to know that. Then, we're just going to stay here and relax. I love you."

"I love you," she said, before settling herself into me and relaxing. Soon, I heard her breathing regulate and I knew that she was resting soundly. _Whoever you are, or whatever you are, thank you. Thank you for bringing her to me._


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33:**

**One**

**Anwen POV:**

"Winnie, my love, I look like a bloody fool," Sirius was complaining.

"Sirius, I know you wouldn't have picked these clothes, but it's the traditional outfit for the ceremony. You're cheesed off, but can you please be nice about it?" I asked as gently as I could. We were in the an anteroom to "Sanctuary" together, awaiting the beginning of the second ceremony. Of all of them, this was most definitely the most mystical and the least understood. It would begin with a ritual foot washing. A woman from each of our families would wash our feet, and from that point on, neither of us would set our feet upon the bare floor. We would walk on a special runner to the place where the magical binding would take place.

I didn't understand some of the symbolism of the ceremony. Even with all the research that I had done, there was little to be found about this particular ceremony and the reasoning behind it. I knew that I was feeling a small amount of discomfort about the events for this evening, I could only imagine what Sirius, and his brash outward persona, would be going through.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and cringed a little. _I really don't like this dress at all, it makes me look short, and sort of like a boy._ The dress was made from a clingy white material that just sort of hung off my shoulders and fell down toward the floor. It stopped mid calf, and made my legs look too short. There were no sleeves, but there was so much material at my shoulders that my arms looked like little sticks coming down from my head. It was cinched at the waist with a gold cord that tied in an intricate knot, with the ends hanging down to almost the bottom of the garment. _There is so much material you can't tell I have breasts or hips in this sack._ _At least there are only a few people who will see me in this tonight. And without high heels, my legs look far too short. _I sighed as I looked in the mirror.

"You know, I am only doing this, and looking like this because of you," he grinned at me. I nodded my head and walked over to him, weaving my arms around his neck.

"I know, I appreciate it. I love you," I said as I pulled myself so that our lips were nearly touching.

"And I love you," he whispered as he closed the distance. I thought that Sirius actually looked very handsome in the long white tunic and loose tan slacks that he had on. The trousers only came to just above his ankles and his feet were bare. He had trimmed up his beard and mustache for the event, and his hair was neatly secured at the back of his neck in a small leather wrapping. I looked down at his feet.

"You have very neat feet. I don't think I want to know how much time you spend on them?" I teased him.

"Yes, well, you have some seriously ugly feet love," he said looking down at mine. "Perhaps if you spent some more time taking care of them when you were younger, they'd look better now."

"Leave my poor little feet out of this. Dancing all those years is hard on them. But, one thing I am sure of, my feet are stronger than yours. I can stand on my toes still, don't think you can?" I asked him.

"You're probably right. I never needed to," he said as he kissed the top of my head. "Tell me what you are thinking?"

"I'm ready for all of it to be done. I am so ready to be your wife, and to get on to whatever comes next. I feel like we are on the edge of something, and we just need a strong gust of wind to send us over, and find out what waits beyond," I said as I settled my face into his chest.

"As long as you are with me, I'll tackle any adventure" he sighed into the top of my head. We stood there, wrapped up in one another for the longest time. The world could have ended outside of this room, and neither of us would have cared. Then, we heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said as I extracted myself from Sirius grip. It was the kindly old woman that I had met a month ago, at the handfasting.

"Let's go dearies. Now is the time for the two of you," I nodded at her, and Sirius wove his fingers through mine. He grabbed his wand from the small stool where it was sitting by the door, and I summoned mine from my bag on the other side of the room.

"I nearly forgot that I needed it today. I so rarely use it these days that I don't carry it. Glad I remembered though, I put all sorts of wards on the safe at Grimmauld to keep it there. I don't know if I could have conjured or summoned it to me," I smiled at him.

We walked into Sanctuary, and realized that we were at the opposite end of the room from where we had been a month ago. The room was more dimly lit, but we could see the labyrinth and dais at the other end. This side of the room seemed to sink down, with a single walkway leading to it's lowest point. It was covered in a fine, white material that seemed to glisten and shimmer like the walls. James, Remus, Albus and Minerva were already seated in the circle at the bottom of the room. There were two empty seats for Lily and Andromeda, who were waiting for us at the top. There were two seats up here, with stone basins on the floor, in front of the chairs. The officiating wizard was here too.

"We are gathered again, to bring these two closer to their full union. One month ago, they were bound to one another's bodies through the rite of handfasting. They will forever wear the outward sign of that binding on them. Today, they are binding their magic," the wizard pronounced.

"From this day forward, they will share magic. Their magical power will increase and their connection to each other will be stronger than before. In order for unity to occur, they must release themselves from the confinements of their past and cleanse themselves and be prepared to enter this new union pure and unhindered. Anwen and Sirius, please take your seats," he indicated the chairs to us, and I felt Sirius squeeze my hand as we started moving. As I sat, Lily came to kneel before me, and Andromeda went before Sirius.

Lily was as close to magical family that I had. She was not only my best friend, but she was truly my sister, and it made me uncomfortable to have her kneeling before me in this way, knowing that she would have to wash me.

"Your family will prepare you for your journey, helping you strip away that which you have carried from before. Nothing should come between you and your beloved spouse," the wizard said, and then Apparated himself down to the center of the sunken area. I slipped my feet into the basin, and I was surprised at the warmth of the water. As my toes broke the surface, a delicious scent assaulted me, and I closed my eyes to savor it. It smelled like a wood fire, broom handles, well used leather, olives and dog. I knew that it was Sirius, all the scents that reminded me of him. I looked over at him, but he was looking down at his cousin, smiling.

I felt Lily's gentle hands lift my right foot and begin to wash it with the soft flannel that was in the basin. I looked down at her face, and I was surprised to at what I found there. She had tears in her eyes, and when they locked with mine. I was humbled by the honor and love that she had there. She returned to her work, and I felt tears gathering in my eyes. The gravity of what was happening seemed to hit me at once, and instead of being scared, I was elated.

Lily moved to my left foot, resting the right one on the edge of the basin where she had folded a cloth for it to rest upon. When she was finished, she stood, and offered me a hand. I grabbed it and stood on the special cloth that would keep my feet from touching the ground, and then pulled my dearest friend into a strong hug.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything, for a lifetime of...I love you Lils," I whispered to her.

"I love you to Winnie."

We unembraced, and to look at one another again, the turning, Disapparated down to sit next to her husband, who put a protective arm around her and gave it a squeeze after she took her seat. I looked over, and Sirius was hugging his cousin, who had tears in her eyes also. Once she was at the bottom of the gathering area, Sirius and I stepped toward each other. I shifted my wand from my left hand to my right, so that I could grasp his hand, and I held it tight. When our eyes met, and electricity flowed between us that made me shudder.

Sirius started walking, and he gave my hand a little tug to get me moving as well. The ramp was steep, and with the shimmering fabric covering it, I was concerned that I would fall. We walked slowly and I held onto Sirius tightly. When we reached the bottom, the elderly wizard stood and faced us.

"Please face one another," and we did so.

"Your family has again assembled here, on this most sacred night, to bear witness to your union. You come of your own free will, although having already bound yourselves to one another, your will is not only yours, but also that of your beloved."

"Anwen, Sirius, please raise your wands and touch the ends together," I took a deep breath and raised my wand and touched the end of his. The minute they made contact, a golden spark flew forth from them, and spun itself around us.

"The magic that you carry is strong, but once you are bound, it will be stronger. No longer will you be two, but now you are one. What you will be able to accomplish together will be greater than what you could consider apart," he said, I was still staring at the goldenly yellow thread. I had never seen anything quite like it. No one had magic that looked like this, at least not that I had met.

"Will you repeat after me?" he asked us.

"Ego confido vos..."

"Ego confido vos," we repeated together. _I have confidence in you. _My brain was converting the vows out of Latin, back into English.

"Ego subeo vos," the wizard said.

"Ego subeo vos," again, we repeated together. _I submit to you._ _ Of all of these, this was the hardest one for me. I hated that I would be giving up control, even if it was only a little._

"Ego suo vobis,"

"Ego suo vobis," _I join with you._

"Nos es unus," he said more quietly.

"Nos es unus," _We are one. This is really happening._ As we said this, something began. My wand began to quiver in my hand.

"Nos numquam secui,"

"Nos numquan secui," _may we never part._ Sirius and I both said, our eyes wide. I could see the vibrations in his wand, and feel the ones in my own and I was transfixed as the beautiful bright green of Sirius magic and the silvery gray of mine shot forth, twined together and spun a web. As the magic met, the individual colors seemed to fade away and the magic was turning into the golden yellow color.

"Sic nos es reus," the old wizard added, ending the ceremony.

"Sic nos es reus," we repeated, looking at what was happening around us. _So we are bound._

"Can you see this?" I whispered to him, wondering if it was only me.

"Yeah, are you doing it?" he whispered back. I shook my head at him. I went back to looking at the magic, but my eyes were drawn back to Sirius. Something was happening inside of me. My heart was racing, and I was having trouble breathing. Everything seemed to melt away, and the entire world was the two of us. I could feel his heart beating, I didn't know how, but I knew it was his. It was almost as if he was pushing my blood through my body. The sensation, while strange, was not unpleasant.

The magic web seemed to slowly fade away, and the room became darker again. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, even though we were only touching through our hands, I could feel him everywhere. I reminded me of the feelings we shared when we were in the throes of our most intimate moments. I was reveling in the feeling of it, amazed at how I not only could feel myself, but feel Sirius as well, within me.

"The joining has been completed. Never shall they be able to be wrought asunder, never will they be able to raise their wand against the other, never again will loneliness cover them. Until we gather in the morning to legalize the union, may all be well and be blessed," the wizard pronounced, and then he was gone. Sirius stood looking at me, and I at him. I dropped my wand hand, and slid the wooden rod through the golden waistband of the dress. Sirius stowed his in his pocket. We reached for each other's free hands and wove them together, pressing our foreheads against one another.

"That was…" he said.

"…something else. Did you feel?" I replied.

"Everything."

I don't know how long we stood there like that, just feeling the magic course through us. I lifted our entwined fingers and was amazed to see that they were glowing in a yellowish hue.

"I think that you will find that other parts of your magic have changed as well," we heard our former Headmaster say. The others had risen and walked over to us, but I got the feeling that Sirius was as unaware of their movement as I.

"Like what?" Sirius asked.

"You may have picked skills up from the other, which Sirius, could be very interesting for you, since Anwen does wandless magic. Also, the physical manifestations of your inner beings may have changed form."

"What?" Sirius asked again, not looking at him, but keeping his eyes trained on me.

"He's saying that our Animagus forms and Patronuses may have changed as well," I replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah. But, I don't think that we should try to find out now. Our magic is probably unpredictable, given what we just did to it. Am I right, Albus?" I said.

"Yes, you are quite right. I think you should avoid using any magic tonight. Let your bodies adjust to the changes," we nodded at him, still staring at each other.

"Come on, let's go," James finally said, realizing that neither of us wanted to move. Finally, I felt a strong pair of hands, pulling me away from Sirius and turning me toward the door. Remus was trying to move me, and James was working with Sirius.

"You can hold her hand, but you can't just stand in this room all night. Let's at least get you two back to the Manor," he said, laughing just a little, while the rest of the guest were laughing as well. They pulled and pushed us from the room while Lily retrieved our things from the anteroom, and we flooed back to the Manor. When we got there, Sirius again took my hand, sat down in an overstuffed chair in the lounge and pulled me to him, settling me into his lap. My fingers traced his face, and I finally leaned down and kissed him. A spark flew between us when our lips met.

"That was, I don't have the words for it," Sirius said when we moved our lips apart from each other.

"All of it, the whole night. I could feel you, I can feel you, like you are in me, moving through me, part of me. The only word I can come up with to describe it is...orgasmic," I whispered to him, my cheek touching his, my lips near his ear.

"I know, but it was different. The power wasn't going out..." he whispered to me.

"...it was rushing in. What I felt for you before seems so insignificant compared to this, now," I had my eyes closed, I didn't care where we were or who else might be there, my entire world was holding me in his arms right now.

"Will we always feel like this?" he questioned me.

"I don't know, but I do not want it to end," I pulled away so that I could look in his eyes. We sat there, staring at each other, I was lost in the depths of his eyes, seeing and feeling everything that was passing between us. My attention was finally ripped away when I heard someone clear their throat.

"Hey you two, we were wondering if you were going to join us for dinner? I need to go with Andromeda to pick up the kids soon. Molly was kind enough to have them over while we were at the Ministry, but they both need to be getting home and to bed...are you even listening to me?" Lily was talking, but I really hadn't acknowledged her presence, neither had Sirius.

"Huh? Food, um, no none for me. You love?" I mumbled at her.

"Oh, uh, no...not right now," Sirius added. I could hear Lily giggle something like "you're hopeless" and then I heard the door to the kitchen close. "Please, I know it's not our wedding night yet, and I am not supposed to see you in the morning, but I can't stand to be away from you right now. Let me take you home, take you to our room, let me make love with you."

"Yes," I said nodding. Sirius wrapped his arms around me and stood up from the chair, holding me up off the ground.

"Lil, we're leaving. See you tomorrow," he yelled toward the door, and never releasing me, we went to the fireplace. He put me down, and gently kissed my head, and then flooed to Grimmauld place. I followed once the flames had vanished, and when I was in the kitchen of our home, his arms were again around me, his lips pressed against my temple. He swung my legs up and cradled me against him and we began our ascent.

The house was quiet, and we could hear the wind rattling the branches outside against the windows, but in the house, the only sound was our breathing, which had synced with each other. We reached the third floor landing and Sirius hesitated, wondering if he should continue to his childhood room or not.

"Sirius stop. It's time, you can see your gift. Put me down, I need to release the wards on the door," I told him quietly, stroking his face. My feet were still bare, I had somehow forgotten, but the cold of the hard wood floor surprised me slightly. I lifted my right hand and placed it in the center of the door, and I watched as it glowed for a moment and then the light faded. I reached for the doorknob and turned it, and opened the door. I waved my hand gently and the room was illuminated with the candles that I had placed throughout the room. I took Sirius by the hand and lead him in.

The room had been painted in a variegation of blues, starting off dark at the bottom, and getting gradually lighter as you reached the ceiling, until it seemed that there was no ceiling at all, just a clouded sky. Sirius was taking it all in, smiling, until he reached the western facing wall, the one which the door to the hallway was located on, down at the far end. When he saw it, his mouth dropped open in awe. I had the painters put a mural of the Black Lake on the wall, with the water rippling gently and glistening as if it were dancing in the sun. The trees behind the lake were swaying slightly in the breeze. You could make out the outline of the Hogwarts castle in the background.

"Anwen, you had this done? For me?" Sirius whispered at me, his eyes glistening in the candlelight. I nodded at him.

"It's where we began, I think I knew I was in love with you that first time you heard me. Touch the lake with your wand, my love," I told him, and he released my hand and walked over to the wall and touched the tip to the mural. The lake began to sing, the mermaids song. He turned back at me, his eyes wide with wonder.

"That's you. That's your voice. How did you?"

"It's enchanted. It will only work for you and your wand. It took a while to work out the charm, but I never wanted you to feel alone again. If you need me, and I'm not with you, you can come here and hear me sing to you," I smiled back at him, my face wet with my own tears. I could feel his love for me, feel his passion and devotion and as it mingled with my own, it became nearly unbearably overwhelming. Before I could comprehend what was happening, Sirius had hold of me. He had lifted me up and crashed his mouth into mine and was bathing me in his passion, flowing off of him in waves and it was pouring over me. I was becoming dizzy from the love that I felt.

He carried me to our bed, and gently laid me down. His hands caressed my face, my hair, my arms, my chest. His touch was feather light, but yet it was if a current was moving between us. He slid his fingers into the cording at my waist and pulled it free and slid it from me. He coaxed me to sit up, and then gently, his hands grasped the material of the gown, and he slid the dress from me. I laid there in the lace camisole and matching knickers that I had worn under the gown, amazed at his face as he drank me in.

I reached for the bottom of the tunic and lifted it up over his head. When he was released from the garment and he had thrown it to the floor, I grabbed the drawstrings of the trousers and released them. Sirius stepped from them and climbed onto the bed, clad only in a pair of boxers. He laid me down, and then covered my body with his, kissing me: my eyes, my cheeks, my lips and down my throat. As he reached my breasts, he kissed them through the lace, and then removed the flimsy garment.

His lips had always set my flesh on fire, but tonight, wherever he kissed me, I felt like I would explode from the sensation. As his tongue danced around my breast, I felt as if my entire body was going to explode. His lips moved farther down, his tongue swirling around my navel and tracing a line to the top of my knickers. His fingers hooked into them and he kissed down my leg as he removed them from me. By the time he was done, I need to hold him, feel his skin against mine. I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms and legs around his body, wanting to be as close to him as I could.

I traced his chest, his back, his neck with my hands, kissing the skin that I came close to. The touches between us seemed to charge the room and loop back on us. We whispered to one another, nothing of consequence, but volumes of importance. I reveled at how his rough fingers now seemed so soft, and how the strong muscles of his body were yielding when I would touch him.

I traced along his ear lobe with my tongue and gently sucked, eliciting a groan from him and a gentle poke from another body part. My lips trailed down his neck and I took his Adam's apple in my mouth and swirled my tongue over him. He kissed me, fiercely, our tongues doing battle to see who would dominate; even though it didn't seem to matter, we were both victorious in this game.

When the last of our clothing had been shed, and we were nestled between the covers of our bed, a look of concern passed over Sirius face.

"Anwen, given what Albus said, I am worried about casting the charm on myself tonight..." he started.

"Sirius, I never went off the potion. It's all right," I smiled at him, and he returned it. I had always known, somehow, even in the moments of my darkest despair, that one day, we would be back together in this way. It was what I held onto, in order to survive; now that it was finally here, I wanted to savor it. When we came together, the feelings that we had been sharing since the binding seemed to multiply, and never before had I felt what I was feeling now; it was almost as if I could not only feel my own body, what he was feeling as well.

It all felt so familiar, and yet so new. When we moved together, it felt as if I was home, a place that I couldn't for the life of me remember why I left. I was transfixed with Sirius' eyes; I swore I could see myself through them. As we neared the end, ready to tumble over the edge together, I tore my eyes away from him, and realized that the room was not only glowing from the candlelight, but it was now glowing with our magic. A golden web, much like the one that had surrounded us during the ceremony, had again closed in around us. It had lifted us up off our bed, and we were hovering in the air, powered by our passion. We were lost in ecstasy together, and when we had finished, we settled back onto the bed and curled into each other.

"I have missed you so," he whispered to me, moving the hair from my face. "That was...amazing," he murmured at me. We laid there, our faces inches from one another, our bodies entwined, not needing to move, just breathe in time with one another.

"I can still feel you. Can you feel me?" I finally asked him, realizing that I could feel his heart beating in my chest along with my own.

"Yes, do you think that this ever goes away, or will it be like this forever?" he asked me.

"I don't know, but I love the way it feels. I love that I carry you with me now," my eyes were becoming heavy, and I needed to relax into sleep.

"Rest now my love, and in the morning I will make you my wife," he whispered to me.

"And I will make you my husband," I breathed out, letting the warm heaviness of sleep cover me, just as my beloveds arms covered and held me.

**Sirius POV:**

Light was cascading in the windows, dancing through the paned glass onto the floor of our room. The mural on the opposite wall seemed to glisten and dance in the sunlight as well. I laid there, amazed at the beautiful gift that my sweet one had given me. I looked down, and she was still curled into the blankets, her face barely peeking out from under the sheets. She had burrowed herself down into them and curled up so tight, that one could have mistaken her for another pillow in our bed. I reached over and went to caress her, and realized that at some point in the night, she had put on my shirt from the ceremony. _It probably looks better on her than it did on me._ At my touch, she began to stir. She moved her legs out and they touched mine, and I realized just how cold her toes were.

"Come here, you are very cold," I said, pulling her onto me, wrapping my arms around her. Her brown tresses fell down over her eyes and she blew them out of the way so that she could look at me.

"You'd better be careful there, or we are liable to be late for our own wedding," she smirked at me, pulling her head down to mine and kissing me deeply. "What time is it?" she asked when the kiss was over.

"No idea. Is there a clock in here?" I asked her. She rolled her head over to point at the other side of the room, where a large mantle clock rested on the fireplace. "Crap, it's 8:45 already? Lily and I are supposed to be at the ministry at 9 so that we can get our hair done," she said, rolling off of me, and sitting up.

"Wait, wait, before you go and leave me, I have something to give you. Just hold tight for a minute, it's downstairs in the library," I got out of bed and ran from the room. _Damn it's cold._

"Sirius, you do realize that you are running through the house without any clothes on!" she yelled at me. I ran down the flight of stairs to the library, got what I needed out of my desk and ran back upstairs, leaping back into the bed for warmth.

"What, it's not like the neighbors are going to see me," I smirked at her. One of the benefits of a hidden house.

"All right, but I still think running around naked, in the middle of winter isn't the smartest plan, love," she smiled and shook her head at me.

"Here, happy wedding day," I said, handing her the square black velvet box. She held it cautiously in her hands before she lifted the lid. When she saw the necklace inside, she gasped.

"Sirius, this is...amazing. How? Where?" she picked the pendant up and gingerly fingered it between her hands.

"When you set the colors for the wedding, I knew that I wanted to have something special for you to wear. The diamonds were my great grandmothers originally, I had them reset in yellow gold, and the ruby was something that was in the family vault. I worked with the jeweler to design the rest. Everything that was part of the family jewels, well, it was covered in snakes. I figured that you would like this better," I told her.

The necklace was a string of graduated diamonds, but in the middle hung the large deep crimson colored, teardrop shaped ruby. Together, the jeweler and I had designed a standing golden lion that cradled and held the ruby in place. The body was along the right side, with it's right arm reaching across the front, and it's left across the back, sort of hugging the ruby. The great tail reached from the tip of the teardrop to the top in a great swirl along the back of the stone. It was reflected in facets cut into the stone.

"It's remarkable, I love it. It will look perfect with my robes. Thank you," she was crying again.

"Hey, why are you crying? You're supposed to be happy today," I said, wrapping my arms around her. _ I would never understand how she cried so much, it was almost if every emotion flowed through and right out of her. I hope that sharing her magic doesn't make me like this._

"It's just, it's perfect. It's all so perfect, I keep waiting for the world to crash down on us, and it hasn't and I am just amazed I get to be so happy," she blubbered.

"Anwen, that made no sense to me, just so you know. I do not understand how that mind of yours works. Of course we get to be happy. You're marrying the prince. You get happily ever after love," I whispered into her hair and she snorted at me. "Go and get yourself showered, knowing Lily, she and James will show up here any minute to retrieve you, since you weren't supposed to be here last night anyway," she pulled away from me.

"There was no where that I would have rather been. It was amazing and wonderful and I am so in love with you. In less than three hours, we will be married, and the rest of it is no longer important," she said, kissing me lightly as she slid off the bed and headed toward the bathroom. _The shirt definitely looks cuter on her._


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34:**

**I Do**

**Anwen POV:**

"Lil, are you sure that it's completely covered?" I asked

"I am sure. Are you really that concerned about anyone knowing you are, were, in the Order?" she asked, again checking my shoulder.

"I couldn't care less about that, I just don't want to have to explain to my Ma on my wedding day, why I have a tattoo on my shoulder," I laughed and she joined me.

"Do you think you could explain to me how you are so calm right now? Your wedding is in twenty minutes and you are cooler than an ice fairy in here," Lily asked me, putting the final touches on my hair.

"My mother is out in the other room with my sisters and the little girls?" I postulated. Lily cocked her eyebrow at me not believing what I was saying. "Lils, after the handfasting and the magical ceremony last night, this is a piece of cake. I am already bound to Sirius, today is the dog and pony show that everyone else wants to see. All I want right now is to gaze into his eyes, feel his arms around me..." I closed my eyes and sighed and relished the fact that I could still feel his excited presence within me. _He feels anxious but not scared or worried, and he loves me, passionately, of that I had no doubt._

"You're hopelessly in love, you know that, right?"

"Utterly and unabashedly."

"You look amazing though. I have never seen dress robes like these before," she had offered me her hand and I stood up from the stool that I had been sitting on. I couldn't sit in a backed chair, the dress wouldn't fit in one. I rather unceremoniously reached under the skirt and pulled the stool out.

"That was so graceful, glad you were the only one here to see it. I love the dress and the robes. I had wanted to buy a Muggle wedding gown, something that my Ma and I could do together, but time didn't allow it, so when I met with Madame Malkin about the awful 'goddess dress' I had to wear last night, she asked me to dream up what my fantasy gown would be. This is it, and I am elated that it came off so well," I reached my hands down to run over the material, and loved the way that the silk felt between my hands.

The dress was strapless and the bodice fit me tightly. It was slightly off white, a little more like the color of fresh cream. There was no adornment to the dress at the top, just a simple curve of the satin that accentuated the shape of my breasts and clung to my body perfectly. The skirt fell from my hips to flare slightly in back. Along the edge of the dress, there was some of the most beautiful embroidery that I had ever seen. Daffodils and Myrtle had been sewn in the same creamy white to the silk, along with two very regal lions that seemed to move with the light, and in the back, a wonderful, winged Griffin. Also hidden among the stitching were a golden snitch, a small scruffy dog, a falcon in flight and a wand. I had pointed them out to Lily, but I doubted that anyone else would be able to find them.

Over the dress, there were proper Wizarding robes. They were different from conventional ones, more like a Renaissance era dressing gown. It has a portrait collar that came to stiff points just above my breasts. The bodice was as tight as the one for the gown itself, buttoning from the neckline down to just above my waist. The front of the robes then began to flare out from my waist, cutting away so that the front of the gown was visible. In the back, the robes fanned out into a great train, nearly six feet in length from where it touched the floor behind my feet to it's end. It too was covered in the same creamy white embroidery, but as you moved further out on the train, strands of glistening gold and metallic red thread were added on. All the stitchery on the robes were floral or simple geometrics in design for the mythical creatures were on the gown alone. The entire robe was lined in hand dyed silk that started in the palest of yellows at the top, where it fastened over my chest, and getting progressively darker, until it was a deep crimson red at the train.

"Anwen, well is an understatement. Not only is it simply amazing and stunning, but you look like a princess headed to her coronation in it. The tiara on your head adds to the illusion," she snickered at me as she was attaching the lacy veil to it. The golden and pearl crown had belonged to my Ma's mother. She had worn it on her head, as had my Ma, on their wedding days. I had taken it to be repaired so that I too could wear it on mine. My small veil hung down behind it, covering my hair in the back.

"It's important to me to have it on. Anyway, it matched the colors of the wedding well. I consider it a stroke of genius on my part, having the wedding all in Gryffindor colors. No one will doubt where the heart and soul of the Black family now lies," I said smugly. _There were going to be at least a few of Sirius' more disliked or distant family members in the congregation, as well as almost all the Ministry of Magic. They had turned aspects of my wedding into a political statement, so I had chosen to make one of our own._

"Well, you are stunning. You have jewelry left to put on?" she asked, as we finished straightening out the dress after my maneuver with the stool. I was only wearing my earrings at this point. I had yet to show anyone the gift from Sirius, and I was most definitely wearing my charm bracelet today.

"Yes, there should be a black velvet box in my bag there, as well as small sack. I need them both, please," I asked her, and she walked over to get them for me from the small suitcase that I had brought with me today. Lily realized that walking in the dress what a unidirectional experience, and the less I did it, the better the dress looked. _Furthermore, Pru was out in the bigger dressing room, working with the rest of the wedding party, and then visiting Sirius. When she got back to me, I really didn't want to be yelled at for the wrinkles in my dress._ Lily handed me the items I requested, and I opened the little cloth drawstring bag, and slipped my charm bracelet out. It was so full now, and I smiled at all that was there. Lily took it, and secured it around my right wrist, right over the place where Sirius' name was. "Want to see what Sirius gave me for the wedding?" I asked as I lifted the lid and her eyes went wide.

"It's amazing and perfect Anwen," she lifted it from the box and opened the clasp, lifted it over my head and secured it into place. The ruby fell to just above the cleavage that tightness of the bodice had afforded me. "You are gorgeous. There is no way that you could ever think that you're not beautiful," she put her arms around my shoulders and hugged me from behind.

"He makes me beautiful, Lil. The way he looks at me, the way he loves me, that's what makes me beautiful," I smiled at the reflection of us in the mirror.

"I think it's the other way around. You are beautiful on the outside as well as inside, and it's that beauty that he loves," I stood there, taking in the weight of her words, when there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked. _ I didn't put it past Sirius to try to slip in here._

"It's your Da and I. Can we come in?" My Ma called from the other side. I knew that we must be getting close to the time of the ceremony. Lily removed her arms and went over and opened the door and let my parents in. They both gasped when they saw me.

"Oh, my little girl," my Mother started crying, as she walked over and put her arms around me.

"Ma, you have to get hold of yourself. This is a happy day, I am so very happy," I said to her, hugging her tightly.

"I am happy, I am just so proud of you. It seems like yesterday that I was changing your nappies and burping you," she muttered.

"Thanks Ma, those are lovely images," she pulled. "Is it time?"

"Your young man is ready to marry you, but he isn't going to know what hit him when he sees you," my Da said, coming over and taking my hand and putting it on his arm. "You are almost as beautiful as your Ma on our wedding day."

"Well, if we get to be half as happy, then we'll have a wonderful marriage," I took one last deep breath and looked at Lily. "Let's go," I took a step toward the door.

"Wait, wait." My mother shrieked, and I looked at her.

"What?"

"We nearly forgot the pin!" she smiled at me. She pulled it from in her little purse and looked for a place to fasten it to the dress. "Where in the world can this go? You would think that on a dress this big there would be a spot for it."

"Here Ma, put it up here on the collar," I said, pointing to the neckline, right near the point on the right side.

"Anwen, where did you get that necklace? Is it real?" My mother said, taken aback. I fingered the ruby and lion.

"It's real and it was my wedding gift from Sirius," I answered, tears gathering in my eyes, remembering him giving it to me that morning.

"Anwen, how much money are you marrying into?" my Father asked, not taking his eyes off the very large ruby.

"I have no idea Da, and I don't want to know," I said, shooting him the look to let him know that he shouldn't ask again. After my Ma got the pin attached, we went to leave the small room. Lily poked her head out, to make sure Sirius and James were gone, which they were.

I entered the waiting room and everyone gasped. The whole bridal party was there, as well as those that were being seated as family: Minerva and Albus were being given seats of honor on my side, just behind my parents. Andromeda and Ted as well as Molly and Arthur on Sirius' side. The Weasley boys were already seated in the row behind their parents, with professors Spout and Flitwick acting as chaperone's for them. _I need to send them something for taking on that task._ Remus was making his way over, when he reached me, I could see that his eyes were damp. Mine immediately followed suit.

"Remus John Lupin, if you make me cry right now, I won't forgive you," I said, my eyes meeting his. Years worth of memories were flashing between us. _Only he really knows how close we came to not getting here, how close I was to closing myself off completely. He had held me together, let me rage and scream at him when I couldn't do it to Sirius' face, and had promised me that I wasn't going to go crazy. I hope that one day, our roles will be reversed, and that I will be wishing him luck on his wedding day._

"I won't, I promise. I just wanted to tell you two things. You are more breath-taking than I have ever seen you," I blushed and dropped my eyes at his words. "Sirius told me to tell you that he can feel you, and knows that you are very happy," I smiled at the thought, knowing that he too could still feel me. I closed my eyes and hoped that I was sending him the blissful feeling that was washing over me.

"Thank you, for everything..." I reached up and touched his cheek, his hand coming up to cover mine. I couldn't say anything else, words had failed me. After a moment, I was finally able to smile at him. He returned it, and I nodded my head.

"All right everyone. Let's please get lined up, we need to get this show on the road," Pru said in a very loud, rather shrill voice. I looked at Remus and rolled my eyes at him, and he gave me his cocky, Marauder smile.

He pulled me close and whispered, "It's almost over, just try not to hex her," I couldn't help it, I broke out in great waves of giggles, my eyes scrunching up, my chest bouncing up and down at the idea of what I could do to her.

"Thank you, I needed that," I whispered back. Lily came to the back, and handed me my flowers, and Remus grabbed my hand, gave it a squeeze and headed over to line up with my Ma. Once Ma was seated, he would come back and join Liddy. The aisle was so very long that we decided that they would all walk down as couples, the only one who would be alone was Lily. _James needs to stand with Sirius to make sure that he doesn't hyperventilate. _ I could hear the strains of the Pachebel Cannon in D begin, and Arthur took Molly the arm and began to lead her down the aisle. When they were half way down, Albus offered his arm to Minerva and lead her down.

The Atrium was amazing. There were great arches of white bunting that ran across the top of the room and it reflected in the polished stones of the walls. Candles were suspended in midair and voluminous bouquets of daffodils and red roses everywhere. The Magical Brethren Fountain would be the backdrop for our vows, and the old wizard who would officiate was already at the front with Sirius and James. There wasn't a Cathedral in the world that would look more lovely than this room did right now. There were rows and rows of chairs, and I was sure that I didn't know a fraction of the people sitting out there.

I looked at the girls. The three older ones were wearing gold dresses which shimmered and sparkled in the light. They carried bouquets of red roses and myrtle. All three had matching hair – Dora had duplicated her hair color to my sisters and the color of the dress made a beautiful contrast. Little Ginny was in a white dress with golden flowers sewn into it and a bright red sash. She had a little basket with red and yellow rose petals. Her fiery ringlets reminded me of the lining of my robes. Lily was in traditional dress robes in a deep crimson red, that made her hair sparkle. She carried a bouquet with daffodils, red roses and myrtle. All the groomsmen were in black muggle tuxedos with gold vests. Sirius and James were in black dress robes. James robes were lined in the same crimson as Lily's dress while Sirius' had the same matching hand dyed silk of mine.

The Pachebel ended, and the All Through The Night began and Ted started down with Andi. My Ma looked back at me, tears in her eyes. She had hummed the song when I was little, while she rocked me to sleep, or when she needed to comfort us. There was truly only one song that I could have her seated to. Once they were seated, Remus took my mother by the arm and walked her down the aisle. He was so gentle with her, kissing her lightly on the cheek as he released her arm. He quickly went over to the side aisle and came to the doorway to the anteroom where we were. I could see everything that was going on, without anyone being able to see me, thanks to a well placed concealing charm.

The song came to an end and the opening chords for Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring began. I had picked a somewhat nontraditional rendition. It had a decidedly Scottish flavor to it, but since we had gone to school in Scotland, I thought it was only fitting. Eira wrapped her arm around her big brothers and Haf began to lead her down the long walk. When they reached the front, she curtsied to him and they split sides, Haf going to stand with Sirius, and Eira walking over to the opposite one. I could tell that she was trying to read the little tape marks on the floor to make sure that she was standing in the right place. They were followed by Dora and Islwyn, who managed to act almost like a gentleman with Dora, except that he stepped on her feet at least twice. Remus lead Liddy down, and he bowed to her curtsy and she blushed.

The music again changed, this time to the Vivaldi Spring Allegro and little Harry and Ginny began walking down. I could see the faces of both James and Molly watching their small children, hoping that they made it to the front without any problems. Harry's back was very straight, and he was holding the little pillow in his hands as if it would break. We didn't tell him that he didn't have our wedding rings, his dad had them in his pocket. James would take the pretend ones from the pillow, pocket them, and produce the real ones when the time came. Ginny was counting as well. We had given her the guideline to drop some petals every two steps, and she was obviously counting 'one, two, drop'. It was precious.

Lily was next. She was poised and beautiful and James face was priceless as she walked down. He seemed more in love with her today than he had ever been. I was so very happy and thrilled that they could be here, that we hadn't lost them. I shuttered at what I would have done, if they had indeed been killed four years ago. I pushed the thoughts from my mind, today was about being happy and joy filled. It was finally time. I took my left hand from the bouquet briefly and waved it, releasing the concealing charm, and stepped forward. Pru was behind me, straightening out the train as I stepped off as the music swelled. The room was full of people, but it was the look in a pair of gray eyes that made the world melt away.

**Sirius POV:**

_My God, she's bewitching. _There was nothing else in my mind but just how devastatingly beautiful she is. I could feel her excitement pulsing through me, her love was overwhelming. When she and her father reached me, I was honored when he lifted her hand from his arm, and placed it on mine. _He would trust me with this precious gift, he would give her to me?_

"Love her as much as her Ma and I do," he said to me, and I turned to look at him, nodding. She smiled, her eyes dancing with delight and I felt as if I would faint, until she squeezed my hand and I could feel her calming spirit move through me. We turned ourselves to face the old wizard who had presided over the last two ceremonies, and he said some things, but honestly, I have no idea what was being said. There was an explanation of how we got to this point, how we were already bound to each other for the rest of our lives. I did hear as he said that we should turn and face one another. Anwen handed her flowers to Lily and turned and slipped her little hands into mine.

We decided to use traditional vows, I didn't care what we were to say, I knew that I would repeat whatever the wizard said, as did my sweet Winnie, but our eyes were trained on each other, just like last night. I felt James tap me on the arm and I released Winnie's hand long enough to take her wedding ring from him. We had decided not to use the ones that we had bought for the first ceremony, _we had held onto them too long, too much had happened, and they had been in Greece when...well when I was an idiot and almost lost all of this. I wanted something new, something that represented the renewed sense of our love._ I slid the platinum filigree and diamond ring onto her hand, and watched as it glowed for a moment. I repeated the wedding incantation, and knew when it had taken effect as something stirred within me.

James handed the second ring to the old wizard, and Anwen gently lifted it from him and slid it on my finger. As she repeated the incantation, the ring glowed and my finger was strangely warm and then it cooled. I tore my eyes from the rune covered platinum band and back to my bride's face. There was a single tear falling down her cheek, and I couldn't help it, I reached over and wiped it from her face, cradling her cheek in the palm of my hand. I came back to reality in time to hear the wizard say that we were husband and wife and that I could kiss my bride.

My hand was still on her face, and I applied the slightest amount of pressure to pull her to me. The kiss was soft and sweet, and as much as I wanted to taste her sweetness, I knew that I would have hell to pay if I did. _People who use their tongues at their wedding kisses are disgusting._ Winnie's voice repeated in my mind. I broke away from her, and I knew I was grinning madly, but I didn't care. I don't think that I had ever been so happy, in all of my life. He presented us, and called her Mrs. Black and I swear that I may have jumped just a little, she was finally mine. Anwen was finally my wife.

I took her hand in mine and she grabbed her flowers back from Lily and held them to her. The piece of music she had to fight the hardest for, the Widor Toccata in F Minor, started playing, and I think that she squeaked, just a little. It was a joyful piece, and it filled the large room with the sounds of happiness. Her smile was as big as mine, and there were tears clinging to her lashes. We walked back down the aisle, or maybe flew, I wasn't sure; and straight into the ante room. Pru closed the door behind us, giving us a moment of privacy. I picked her up and held her to me.

"I love you," I yelled, too loud for a room where there were only two of us.

"I love you too," she whispered back. I looked into her eyes and kissed her the way I had wanted to just moments ago. It took my breath away just how wonderful and delicious she was. She was really my wife. I set her back down on the ground when I heard someone clear their throat. It was a Muggle minister who has here to serve Anwen and I communion. It was something that I didn't really understand, but it seemed so important to Anwen, that the very first thing we do as husband and wife, was share in this ritual from her childhood religion. We had gone to church a few times, and we had done this at all the services, except Christmas Eve ones. It was quick and quiet, just us and the minister, who happened to be a squib, so he knew what was going on in this building. When we were done, he congratulated us and bade us goodbye. I kissed my new wife again and then we went to knock on the door, letting Pru know that she could let our family in.

Our family rushed in and greeted us, hugging and kissing us. I didn't release Anwen's hand, I needed that connection with her. Once we had our private moments with the family, the photographer staged a few portraits, but Anwen was against hours and hours of pictures. The majority of the guests had moved from the Atrium to the Great Hall. All of her family, and most of the wedding party had left, it was just us and James and Lily. We walked back into the dressing rooms, it was time for James and I to change into our tuxedos and for Anwen and Lily to convert over to more Muggle like dresses. I kissed her before we had to part.

James and I changed from the dress robes, leaving them for Pru to collect in a while. These clothes were much more comfortable, and would be better suited to dancing. Anwen had choreographed our first dance, and if I could pull it off, it would be beautiful. _But can I pull it off? _We walked back into the center room, and waited for a few moments until the girls appeared. I laughed at James as he choked when Lily came out, looking amazing in another crimson and gold dress that sparkled when she walked, and left very little to the imagination, but my eyes belonged to Anwen.

Her shoulders were bare, and the ruby glistened just above her breasts, which seemed more ample than usual. I could see more of the embroidery on the skirt of her dress, and now, some red and gold seemed to peek out from just under the material. The veil was gone as well, and I could see all of her shiny, dark curls falling down her back.

"What?" she questioned me as she walked over.

"Were there colors under there before?" I asked her, pointing at the bottom of her dress.

"No, we put the crinoline on when I took the robe off. Keeps the wedding colors present. I'm glad to have the robe off, it weighed a ton," she smiled at me as she slipped her hands into mine.

"You're shorter than you were before," I said, realizing that she had dropped at least two inches.

"Yes, I couldn't dance in the heels I was in before. These are much better suited for our dance love," she poked her foot out from under the dress and I noticed a pair of shoes that were embroidered much like the dress, with a small heel in back. "Come on, I believe we have a party to get to," she smiled at me and tried to pull me away, but I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her to me.

"Not yet, I need a moment alone with Mrs. Black."

"I thought we burned the last effigy of her in our back yard a few weeks ago?" she giggled. "Oh, you mean me, that's right, I am Mrs. Black," her smile was effervescent. I planted my lips on hers and kissed her slow and hard.

"Do we have to go to this thing? Can't we go home?" I said in a hushed tone.

"I think they want us there. Soon enough love. Let everyone else stay here and get drunk, there are better things for us to be doing," she purred at me. _Don't think about what they could be, will be too hard to concentrate._

We walked into the Great Hall, and we were introduced and greeted with the _Hallelujah Chorus_ played by the Orchestra.

"Very funny Winnie," I said as we walked to the head table.

"I thought you'd enjoy that," she beamed back. _Her smile is radiant, and being my wife made her this happy._

The meal was served and it was comical to watch her parents amazement as the food simply appeared on the plates and at their goblets that would never empty. Different people would come up and congratulate us and we spoke with them briefly. We made time to talk with each of our families, and both Minerva and Andi seemed quite taken with Anwen's dress. While she was showing off the stitch work, I noticed a small dog sitting under a leaf. I pointed it out to her, questioning her with a look alone. She nodded her affirmation. _The little things she thinks of, the little ways she lets me know that she's thinking of me. She amazes me, and she's my wife._

We were returning to our seats, after we had cut the wedding cake, and Anwen motioned for me to look over to our right. My eyes locked on Severus Snape's and something cold passed through them. I could feel Anwen shiver next to me, and I put a protective arm around her, rubbing her shoulders.

"If he feels that much animosity, then why is he here?" she whispered.

"Albus probably made him come, just ignore him all right. This is our day," I replied, kissing her temple. Just then someone, most likely one of her brothers, began hitting their goblet, indicating that we should kiss. I wasn't going to disappoint them, especially since I had gone minutes without tasting the decadent lips of my wife.

Before the cake was served, James and Lily got up to toast us. They decided to do it together, which gave both Anwen and I pause; however, when Remus stood with them, we knew that we were in trouble. Remus did a charm, and suddenly his voice echoed in the hall.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, to say that it took a while for these two to get here, well, that's an understatement. They met eleven years ago, on the train to Hogwarts, and trust me, none of our lives have been the same since," Moony started.

"Within twenty-four hours of knowing each other, Sirius and Anwen had stayed up all night, sneaked out of the castle, told Lily and I off and nearly started a duel in the Great Hall. Not what one would consider an auspicious beginning to a relationship," James added and there were snickers in the room.

"They had everyone completely baffled for years. They shared secrets, and often the same chair, and swore up and down that they were just friends...yeah right," the room erupted in laughter as Lily continued.

"Anwen tempered Sirius, making him almost bearable," I slapped Moony lightly with my free hand. "Sirius helped Anwen relax and not feel like she was carrying the weight of the world," our wolfy friend continued.

"He taught her to fly, she taught him how to listen. He may have been the Marauder, but she proved she's the mistress of a well timed prank," Prongs pronounced. I gave him a cautionary look. _We didn't need to discuss that now. _Anwen smiled with the most wicked grin at this. _Yeah, yeah, it was a good prank, thank heavens she can't ever do that again._

"They supported each other through sickness, death, war, loss and pain. Things that should have torn couples apart, just made them stronger. If there were ever two people who were destined to be together, they are it. They were bound to one another long before their wedding," Lily finished.

"So, will you all raise your glass to Anwen and Sirius. They are truly a testament to the power of loving with your whole being. May you have a long and happy marriage, for no one deserves it more," James said, raising his glass. I could hear people clinking their glasses and I touched mine to Anwen's. She had tears in her eyes and after we had sipped, we stood to thank our three best friends.

After cake was served, it was time for the dancing, and what I could most definitely say was the part of the event that I was least looking forward to. As we walked to the dance floor, I could feel myself getting sweaty and nervous. She stroked my hand with her thumb, as if to tell me to relax. I took her in my arms and waited for the Orchestra to begin.

"You are going to do fine love. Just look at me, look at my eyes. We are back in the ballroom at our house, and no one else is here," she reassured me, and I felt a wave of calm leave her and bathe me. I let go of the breath I was holding and relaxed into my hold.

As was the case with most of the music for our wedding, our first dance wasn't traditional at all. She had picked the Pavane from the Faure Requiem_._The music had a slight melancholy to it, but there was longing as well. The first time I had heard it, I could see why she had thought of us when she listened to it. It wasn't quite a traditional waltz we did, it was instead more. Anwen understood music, understood movement, and the dance she created was as near to perfection as you could come. She floated in my arms, and within a minute I was indeed lost in her. It almost felt as if her grace and connection with the music flowed from her into me. _If this was what our magical binding could do, then there was much we would need to discover._ When we got to the part where I needed to lift her, she seemed to fly from the floor into my arms, weightless and winged. I was slightly doleful when the piece was over, for I would have to let go of her, let her dance in someone else's arms for a while. At the end of the song, I dipped her back down low, and kissed her deeply, right there on the dance floor, for everyone to see.

We danced with other guests and family. I loved watching her dance with her Da. He had lifted her up and placed her feet on his. I was sure it was like something that had done when she was little. She blushed brightly, looking embarrassed as she danced with James. I made a mental note to find out what bit of wedding night advice he had decided to impart to her on the dance floor. She walked over to the Orchestra leader and requested something, and then went and took Remus' hand. When he heard the music, he smiled at her, and they shared a deep conversation while they danced. I didn't know the name of the song, but I was sure that I had heard it before. _As much as I wanted to know what the music meant, and what had them so engrossed, I knew it wasn't any of my business. What they shared was theirs alone._

After what seemed like hours on the dance floor, Anwen was back in my arms. We were spinning on the dance floor when she leaned her head down to my chest.

"Let me throw my pin while I'm still standing, and then we can sit down for a while, and then leave. We've done what we needed to do here, and I don't want to have to dance with another Ministry official," she said as she rolled her eyes. I didn't even want to imagine what she might have endured.

"Okay. Do you have it with you?" I asked her. She closed her eyes and held the palm of her right hand between us. It materialized on her palm.

"I do now," she smiled. _That would be really cool to be able to do. Maybe that will be a skill I can pick up._ I walked over and told the Orchestra leader what was about to happen and then returned to Anwen. The leader made the announcement and they gathered around her. She turned her back to the crowd of assembled women and tossed it over her shoulder. Her sister Liddy caught it and screeched. Anwen smiled at her. We went and sat back down at our table. I removed the jacket from my tails and laid it over the back of the chair. We pulled close together and Anwen leaned herself against my chest.

"What time has it gotten to be?" she asked me. I pulled out my pocket watch.

"It's only 2:30 in the afternoon love. It just feels later," I replied.

"Well, maybe if we had gotten a descent night's sleep last night, I'd have more energy now. I will most definitely need a disco nap before our party tonight."

"Anything else we're going to do while we are in bed this afternoon?" I whispered in her ear.

"I believe that you had promised to ravage me; or, am I just your old wifey now?"

"You're are my beautiful, hot and sexy wife now, and I have every intention of having you over and over dear."

"Oh good, afraid you may have lost interest," she sighed, leaning in to kiss me gently.

We watched the dance floor. Lily and James seemed as much in love as they did the first time they kissed on the train back to Hogwarts our fifth year. Molly and Arthur were dancing with each other, but trying to keep an eye on the boys at the same time. Bill Weasley was dancing with Liddy. Even though he was younger, he was much taller than her, and clearly thought she was attractive. _Good taste, even at a young age._ Anwen's parents were dancing with one another, chatting away, looking at Liddy and the young man who had his arms around her. Her Da didn't look thrilled. Harry and Ginny were holding hands, sort of swinging them back and forth in what could only be considered dancing if your were four or five. They did look cute though, and several people in the room were pointing and smiling at them. Somehow, Dora Tonks had gotten Remus out on the floor to dance. She was standing on his feet, and he was waltzing with her. When I pointed it out to Anwen, she looked as surprised as I did.

"How in the world did she do that? It took me begging to get him to promise to dance with me earlier," Anwen asked in awe of the young girl. I shrugged my shoulders. The music ended, and the Orchestra said that they were going to take a brief break, a few more people came over to talk with us. We were sitting behind the long head table, which was raised up slightly from the rest of the room. As we talked, I could feel Anwen's hand on my leg, slowly moving up my leg. She kept her eyes forward, conversing politely, but her hand was tracing small circles up my thigh. My breath caught when she reached the apex, I was thankful for the tablecloth that fell to the floor, or all of our guests would be getting a scandalous show. When she bade our well wishers goodbye, she turned to me.

"I believe that it's time for you to take me home Mr. Black," she whispered.

"Mrs. Black, I can't get up from this table right now without causing a scene. Give me a minute, and then I will take you away from here," I replied, and she smiled a very proud, wickedly wonderful smile. After a few minutes, I was able to stand. I slipped my jacket over her shoulders and I took my beautiful wife by the hand and went to lead her away. I reached for James shoulder as we passed him.

"Please, take care of her family. We'll see you later. The floo will NOT open early and you can NOT get in the front door either," I told him.

"Taking all the fun out of it Padfoot," he replied. I did not trust my best friend at all today. We walked directly out of the room and headed for the visitors entrance.

"Sirius, the Apparition point is that way," she said, pointing down another corridor.

"I know, we're going home another way, and no, I will not make you floo in your wedding gown. Come on, it's outside," I escorted her from the building and there waiting for us was a horse drawn carriage. It was all white and gold and pulled by four gray horses. Her hands flew to her face and she smiled at me.

"My princess should have a carriage ride home. Come on, milady," I bowed and offered her my hand, when she slipped hers in mine, I kissed it, and Anwen blushed fervently. The footman opened the door and she climbed the small stairs up and seated herself, I followed immediately. Once the door was closed I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her deeply.

"Today has been perfect. Thank you," she sighed, her forehead pressed against mine.

"It's not over yet. I love you, I have always loved you and I will love you forever, my sweet, sweet Anwen," my hand swept over her shoulder and down her back, and I pulled her closer to me.

"And I love you, with every cell in my body, with every breath that I take I fall deeper in love with you, my darling Sirius," her hand cradled my face, pulling me to her, and sealing her affirmation with a passionate kiss.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35:**

**All She Wants to Do is Dance**

**Anwen POV:**

_If I live to be one hundred, I will never find a sight more lovely than that of my husband as he sleeps. My husband, are there any more glorious words?_ I sighed and stretched like a satiated kitten. We'd been home for several hours, but the time passed too quickly. We needed to rise soon to prepare for the guests who would ring in the New Year with us. I rolled my body to look at my dear husband. He was lying on his back, face turned toward me, snoring away. A wicked smile crossed my face as I thought, _I wore out Sirius Black._ I ran my finger over his newest tattoo, the Rune for forever with my name twined through it, over his heart. He didn't have it this morning when I left him, so in the two hours that we were apart, he had gone out to get it. _As much as his reckless behavior sometimes bothers me, I do enjoy when he does something that I really don't expect that shows just how much he loves me. _

I leaned over and kissed him, and I felt him rouse beneath my lips. "Good morning sleepy head," I whispered as I kissed his eyelids. He opened them and smiled at me, pulling his arms up and wrapping them tightly around me. I felt his love surge through me.

"Now that's the way to be awoken, by the most beautiful wife on the planet," he kissed me again. "What time is it?"

"Time to be getting out of bed. We both need to shower and get ready for our guests. Is there anything else that we need to be doing to get the house ready?" I asked, trying to extract myself from my husband, inwardly sighing at the "h" word again.

"Anwen, love, I hired people to do everything. The room is set up, the caterers are acquainted with the kitchen and all the supplies are here; the bartenders were getting set up this morning, and the band will be bringing in their equipment and doing their set up and sound check. We don't need to do anything but show up," he told me, very calmly. I could feel the blood drain from my face.

"Wait a minute, there have been staff in the house while we were...in here...rather loudly...oh no," I buried my head in the pillows. We hadn't been terribly discrete when we got home from the reception.

"Anwen, no one was allowed above the first floor. To ensure our privacy, the room is sealed and I put up a Silencing Charm. No one knows exactly what went on in here, but we're newlyweds, they can probably guess. Calm down," he assured me as his hands ran up and down my back.

"Come on lazy bones, time to get out of bed," I said sitting up, trying to pull him up as well. "When do we have to leave for our honeymoon?" I asked hopefully. I still had no clue where we were going.

"We can leave whenever we want, everything that we are going to need is already there. When we're ready, we'll floo. There isn't anyone waiting for us. I'm not telling you anything else, and trust me, if you haven't already gotten the information out of me, you aren't," he smirked. I sighed loudly and climbed over him and got off the bed. As I was walking away, I heard him purr lustily. I looked over my shoulder at him, wiggled my eyebrows and smiled suggestively and then sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door quickly, before he could get the crazy idea that he should join me.

I felt like a new woman after I had soaked in a hot tub and washed my hair. I magically did my hair and make-up to speed up the process. Leaving the loo, I was greeted with Sirius still lying in bed, still naked, the sheet barely covering him. The way that it draped across him, leaving very little to the imagination made me want to go over there, strip off my robe and shag him again. I decided against it when I looked at the clock. When I reached him, I ran my finger down the thin thread of hair that feel below his navel, he didn't move at my touch. _I think he may have fallen back asleep. _I leaned over onto the bed and put my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat through his chest, and somehow, I could feel it in mine too.

"My darling husband, you need to get up, now," I said to him, he groaned in protest. "Really, would you like me to motivate you out of the bed?" I asked, and he opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow at me.

"How exactly would you do that?" he asked.

"Like this," I said and lifted my hand so that I sent a Freezing Charm onto the bed, it immediately felt chilled. The only place that I was touching the mattress was a small part of my lower thigh, so it wasn't too bad, but Sirius lay prone on the equivalent of a slab of ice. He

scrambled off the end of the bed, knocking me over in the process. He rounded back to where I was, offering me his hand to help me up.

"That was not fair!" he complained. "You could give this man frostbite on his bum that way."

"At least you weren't lying face down," I said back innocently. "Go and get cleaned up, I've worked up quite an appetite, as I'm sure you have. What are you going to wear?"

"Clothes." _Smart ass._

"Well, glad that you've decided not to prance around naked when we have company. You'd give every other man an inadequacy complex. What kind of clothes?"

"I bought some new pants and a shirt I think that you will like on me. Why do you care what I'm wearing?" he turned around to ask me, on his way to the loo.

"I don't want to be overdressed." I answered coquettishly. _There was no way that I would be overdressed in the outfit I picked out. _

"Love, it's your party, you could wear a dung sack and still be more lovely than any other," he yelled at me from the loo, without closing the door. It was a habit of his that had taken me some time to get used to. I preferred my privacy for my "girl business".

I quickly charmed the bed and it made itself. I walked over to where the two walk-in closets had been installed in this room, _no little wardrobes for us, we have big closets with shoe racks. Stroke of genius Anwen, having these put in. _I complimented myself as I pulled my clothes from the closet, well most of them anyway, and busied myself getting dressed. We'd had to magically enhance all the storage at the little house, since it had so very little. I hated the way that my clothes would either never quite go back to their correct size, or, they were so wrinkled that it took several charms to get them to a wearable condition. This was much better, no magic was required.

Once I was clothed, I sat down in the large chair in the sitting area. _ Albus said that we might have changed in our Patronuses yesterday...was it only yesterday, it seems so long ago. Not being bound to Sirius seems like a past life. I wonder if my kestrel has changed?_

I lifted my hand and silently cast the Patronus Charm. At first all I had produced was a mist, but then it began taking shape. A rather large creature landed on the floor, it's back end like that of a lion, it's front of an eagle. I turned and looked at me, spread its wings and then tucked them back under before it vanished. _My Patronus is a griffin now. Wow. It makes sense in a way, half land animal, half bird. The blending of two seemingly incompatible things._ The thought delighted me. _ Not unlike Sirius and I._

I cast the charm again, giving it a message to deliver to my husband and sent it into the bathroom. I could faintly hear my voice telling Sirius to get a move on and then something dropping onto the counter. He poked his head out and looked at me.

"What exactly was that, love?" he said, rather confused.

"That was my Patronus," I said, smiling at him. "Where is your wand, we should see what your looks like?"

"Um, it's on the bedside table love," I got up and grabbed the wand and met him half way. Sirius was wrapped in a towel now, but I still had a hard time keeping my eyes off the bulge below his waist, something that didn't escape him, which made him grin proudly and me blush. He flicked his wrist and his great dog glided to the floor, but when it's paws connected, it too began to change shape, transforming into a larger griffin. I smiled at it.

"Wow!" he said as he'd enveloped me in his arms. His skin warm from his shower and his natural smell intensified from the heat caused an immediate reaction from my body. We had always had a powerful physical reaction to each other, but since the binding yesterday, it was amplified. It wasn't just my desire for Sirius, it was every feeling that I had. In this minute, knowing that we now shared this magical connection, made me feel more complete and powerful than I could remember. I reveled in the wonder that was how safe I felt in his embrace. The revelation that we were truly one soul, one spirit, one magical life force in two parts was astonishing. I felt the elation bubble up and then spill from me. Sirius' emotions served to magnify and intensify the feelings, and he sent them back ten fold.

"That is amazing," I muttered. "Beyond Albus' phoenix, I don't know anyone who has a magical creature Patronus. Did you know that Griffins are protectors of innocence, and ensurers of justice? They mate for life. They're faithful and devoted to their partner for eternity."

"Then they would be the perfect representation of us, love," his lips met mine in a sweet, loving kiss. After a moment I took a step away from him, and started to walk to my vanity.

"Uh, Winnie love, what exactly are you wearing?" he asked, and I turned around to see his face painted with awe.

"Clothes." I responded, using his smart answer from before.

"Extremely few clothes. Damn, you look hot," he said proudly. I smiled at him while biting my lip. A wave of lust hit me like the rush of opening a hot oven.

"I know."

"Is that my vest from my tails?" I nodded at him. "Are you wearing anything underneath it?" I shook my head at him. He cocked his eyebrow and grinned wickedly. "How are you planning to keep it in place?"

"A mild sticking charm. Muggles have been using well placed double stick tape for years. I just applied the same idea to your vest, magically," I turned around for him, letting him drink in the whole ensemble.

"Winnie, I'm speechless. I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you." His raging lust lead to another passionate embrace.

"Perhaps I want your hands on me." This lead to another kiss, his hands desperately clawing at my back, and his towel falling away due to the added circumference his erection demanded. I gained enough control to take a step back. "Sirius, we can't get started again, or we'll never get downstairs." He picked up his towel and nodded.

"Do you know if it's like this forever," he questioned as he reluctantly went to his closet.

"No idea, but if we don't get a handle on it, I'll never be able to return to work. Having you come to the office so that we can shag in the broom closet just isn't professional."

"I thought that you were better than broom closets?"

"For you, dear husband, I'd make an exception."

Turning to look at the mirror, I marveled at my body. I felt comfortable and desirable, my outfit reflected the feeling, rather than create it. I had adjusted his tuxedo vest so that it fit me well. Because of it's design, my back and sides were bare. The deep "V" cut of the front enhanced my small chest, giving the illusion of being bustier than I was. Paired with my dark jeans and the red dragon hide boots, with a four inch heel, that I had picked up in Paris the last time I was there, I looked ready for a night out. I put my bracelet and the large hoop earrings I had on my dresser on, and I looked ready to go. "Think my wedding necklace would be too much with this outfit?" I asked him.

"Just a little over the top love," he yelled back from inside his closet. I nodded my head, even though there was no one there to see it. I opened my jewelry box and took out the pink diamond heart necklace and put it on. It looked good against my bare skin. Just then Sirius emerged from where he was dressing in a pair of black leather pants and a really tight, mildly shiny dark blue button down shirt. He hadn't pulled his hair back, and it sort of fell over his face. _Holy crap my husband is hot._ I took one long, good look at him and propelled myself at him. I jumped up and wrapped my arms and legs around him. _The feelings of lust really are..._my mouth started going before my head had a chance to process.

"Are you sure we have to downstairs. We could just stay here and ..." I didn't finish the thought as his tongue was in my mouth. His kiss took my breath away. I knew he was feeling the same thing as I was. Near suffocation was the only thing that could stop us.

"Yes," he replied, panting. "But we have three weeks on our honeymoon to do nothing but shag, so come on. I think you will have more fun tonight than you did at the party this afternoon," he said, putting me back down.

"Love, sitting through one of Fudge's 'state of the department' meetings would hold more interest than the reception. Do you know how many of those old Ministry stuffed shirts have bad breath, and kept trying to touch my bum? Hell, five minutes of James mocking your being married will be better."

Sirius did not look amused that men were trying to grope me at my own wedding reception, but I pulled him to me, kissed him deeply and grabbed his bum to make him forget. It seemed to do the trick.

The ballroom looked amazing. Fairy lights were dancing in the air, hung in place with magic and the little light shimmers they produced danced and played on the walls and the ceiling. There were tables all over the room and they sparkled with the material of the tablecloths and the candlelight. The buffet was set up with tons of food, good comfort food, magically kept warm or cold. I went over to inspect the bar, and was appalled at the sheer volume of both Muggle and Wizarding liquor there. Sirius came up behind me, kissing my back between my shoulder blades.

"Love, I have no intention of getting drunk tonight. Just wanted to be prepared for whatever anyone would want."

"Thank you," I replied, tipping my head back so that my forehead was against his chest so that he could lean down and kiss me. The back of the room had been set up for the kids with games and other kid friendly activities for them to do. Sirius had also made sure that there were places for them to sit and a buffet just for them, including a big plate of jelly sandwiches. _Lily will hate us for that, but Harry will be thrilled._

I heard instruments being tuned, and turned around to look at the far end of the room, where the small stage was. When I realized who the band what, my hands flew to my face and I turned around to look at Sirius.

"Is that? How did you? Oh my Merlin? You got Broken Broomsticks to play at our party!" I was jumping up and down. This was my all time favorite band, ever. I owned every record that they had ever put out, and had even gone to see them in Rome with Sirius while he was in hiding; years ago, before they hit it big, I saw them with Sirius in a little Wizarding bar in Dublin. I was agog when the lead singer accidentally spit on me.

"Yes, that is indeed them. Come on, I want to introduce you. They're really cool guys, please don't mention the spitting thing," he requested, taking my hand. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

"How did you do this?"

"Anwen, money can get you just about anything. They thought that it would be cool to play for us, we are celebrities, don't forget. There was a whole section in the _Prophet_ this morning about our wedding. They are a little star struck with us," he said as we walked across the great room.

"Really? They think **we** are celebrities?" I said shaking my head. Sirius introduced me to the guys, and **I **had to sign two autographs on our picture from todays paper for the lead singers little nieces. They were cool guys, even when I lost control of coherent language, and babbled like a moron. They asked what my favorite songs were, and Sirius and the lead singer confirmed how many sets they would be playing.

"Well, everything seems to be in order, I think we should go down and welcome our guests," Sirius suggested.

"Wait, love," I asked and he stopped and I took both of his hands in mine. "You did amazing with all of this. Everything is just what I would have wanted it to be, and you did it all for me. Thank you, thank you for knowing me, and loving me and wanting to make me happy," I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.

"That's my job now, making you happy. I love you Anwen Black," he smiled down at me. I squealed at my new name. _He can call me Anwen Black whenever he likes, but at the Ministry, I'll be Anwen Hodgson-Black. Sirius is fine with it, my Ma hates it; but it's what is._

We made it to the floo fireplace on the lowest level of the house, across from the kitchen and stood to wait for our guests. Predictably, the first ones through were Lily, James and Harry. I hugged Lily tightly and we put our heads together to whisper to one another. James and Sirius were talking and I suddenly felt someone tapping my leg. I looked down and Harry was looking up at me.

"Are you forgetting about me?" he said looking irritated. I reached down and lifted him up to eye level.

"I could never forget about you my little man. Did I tell you how well you did today?" He shook his head at me. "Well, I apologize for that. You were outstanding, and you were very kind to Ginny. Thank you."

"Yeah, well, she's younger than me, so she needed someone to look out for her," he said full of swagger. There was way too much of his daddy and godfather in him already.

"Well, you did a smashing job at it. Maybe you can help her some more tonight? Be friendly to her at the party?" I asked him and he nodded eagerly at me. "Go on upstairs, there are more people on their way here, but you can go and get yourself started on some of the fun. Guys, why don't you go up as well, Lily can wait here with me to greet people as they come in."

"You sure?" Sirius said, wrapping a long arm around my waist.

"Positive. No need for both of us to be here. Greet people, help them get their food and drinks and introduce folks upstairs. My parents won't know half of the people here tonight," I told him. He nodded at me and then kissed me and lopped off with James and Harry in tow.

Lily and I talked about the wedding in between arrivals. Remus brought my family through and Ma insisted that she go to the kitchen to make sure that everything was under control. A moment later I heard her shriek and yell, "What in the blazes are you?" _Kreacher must be out of his room, controlling the chaos in 'his kitchen'._ I excused myself to go and see what had transpired between the house elf and my mother.

By 8:30 p.m. all of our guests had arrived and I sealed the floo for incoming visitors. Lily and I walked back upstairs to the party already in full swing. Broken Broomsticks hadn't begun yet, so there was recorded music playing, and a few people were already dancing, mostly the kids. Bill and Liddy were again dancing, which made me smile. Sirius spotted me from across the room and came over and ran his hands over my bare back.

"That was far too long to be away from you. You are not going to be out of arms reach for the rest of the night," he said quietly, as his forehead rested on mine.

"Fine with me, I have the most handsome husband in the room, why would I want to be away from him?"

The band started playing, and more people got up to dance. They opened with one of my favorites, and I dragged Sirius to the dance floor. I wasn't sure if you could classify what we were doing as dancing per se, but we were moving our bodies to the music; it's just that we were completely pressed up against each other, my hands twined in his hair, his running up and down my back. I was glad the room was so dark, and we were off in a corner, or else we may have been giving a rather inappropriate show to the children at the party. After several songs, where we danced the same way, Sirius leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I know what you are feeling," in a deep, husky and undeniably sexy voice. Between the words and the rush of lust that he sent towards me, I couldn't breath. I nodded at him and he took my hand, and we slipped out of our own party.

The door to my little studio had been warded so that only Sirius and I could get in here tonight. We quickly slipped in, shut the door, rewarded it and silenced the room. I had gone nearly three hours without my husband, that was far longer than I wanted. Within moments of arriving in the room, Sirius was standing behind me, his lips blazing a trail down my back, while his hands were working the buttons on the front of the vest to open it. I lifted my hand to release the charm I had put on it.

When all the buttons were undone, his hands were on my breasts and it felt so good. We stumbled the few steps so that we were standing in front of the ballet barre and the mirror. It was surreal to stand there, feeling my husband kissing my back and fondling my breasts, all the while able to watch him do it. I could see that he was enjoying watching as well.

I turned myself around and quickly pulled his shirt from his pants and undid the buttons, sliding it from his shoulders and onto the floor. I pulled him back down to me, reveling in how his muscles felt against my chest. He reached down and lifted one of my legs, resting my foot on his chest so that he could unzip my boot. He pulled the red boot from my right foot, and then repeated the process with the left. My jeans were soon on the floor as well, and I was standing there in a tiny pair of black lace knickers and his vest.

I undid the waist of his pants, and slid the zipper down, surprised that he was going commando with leather pants, he just smiled at me knowingly and I nodded my head. _Gotta love his prodigious charm skills, _I thought; knowing that he'd done something so that there wouldn't be any chafing. When he was naked, he turned me back around so that we were both facing the mirror again. There was something hypnotic about watching him, watch us while we were making love.

I held onto the barre for all I could, knowing that without it I would likely fall to the ground in a heap of jelly from the way that my body was reacting to the situation. I could hear the band playing, hear sounds of our friends and family enjoying the party just on the other side of the room; but more than anything I could hear my husband moaning as we made love. When we were able, we got dressed again, but I noticed that he'd ripped my knickers in two. I would be finishing the night out commando as well. He seemed rather proud of that. We were able to slip back in without anyone noticing our absence.

After an hour or so, the band took a break, and Sirius and I finally sat down to eat something. I hadn't eaten much at the afternoon reception, since I could barely breathe in my wedding dress, I didn't even want to risk what would happen if I ate something. The food tonight was delicious and I ate more than my fill. _Damn, I wish these jeans weren't so tight, I could eat another plate full. _Sirius brought me a mug. As I swallowed the concoction and smiled. _He had the bartender make me a warm tea and brandy, my absolute favorite drink._

"I'll be right back, there's something I need to check on," he said, getting up and kissing me lightly. I questioned him silently, but he shook me off. I resumed my conversation with my closest friends.

"Anwen, I have to tell you, I don't think that I have ever seen you dress like that," Remus said, his eyebrow raised.

"Not exactly traditional Auror wear?" I asked and he shook his head no. "Yeah, well, when was the last time you took me out to a club, to go dancing, hum?" I smirked at him. _We did many things together, dancing like this was not one of them._

"Dancing, is that what you call what you and Sirius were doing out there? It looked more like foreplay in a public place. It's surprising that you didn't just get to it right on the floor there," James teased me.

"No, that's why we left that for my studio on the other side of that wall there. Found a whole new use for my ballet barre," I said back at him, completely straight faced. James and Remus eyes flew open and their mouths dropped, while Lily just giggled.

"I...I...I can't believe you just told us that?" stammered James. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I have been utterly, completely and happily corrupted by my scalawag of a husband. Isn't it wonderful?" I beamed at him, wagging my eyebrows for effect. He simply shook his head. Remus was a lovely shade of red.

The band came back on, and Sirius was walking onto the stage with them, carrying his guitar. My face fell and I covered my eyes with my hand. I set my mug down, afraid that I would drop it otherwise.

"Please tell me that I am not seeing this, please," I moaned.

"You're seeing it. Can he even play?" James asked, sounding skeptical.

"Um, well, he tries. He's only got a few chords, if I remember correctly," he stood in front of a mic and I know that I groaned. "He's gonna try to sing as well. Swell. This is bound to be ...memorable."

The drummer clicked the song off, and they started into a song. Within a few chords, I howled, knowing the song they were going into. The song had been recorded by the Broomsticks, and then it was covered by the bass players cousins band in the Muggle world. It was a hit there, and no one realizing that the song was about a veela.

Sirius' playing wasn't bad, and his singing wasn't either. He was so earnest when he sang, that all I could do is grin at him. He missed a few chords and I could see the lead singer occasionally cringe at the quality of Sirius' vocalizing. Sirius was smiling wildly at me, and I sighed. _He looks happy, he's looked happy all day. _ _He must really love me to be willing to make that big of a fool of himself._

"Really, 'every little thing she does is magic'? This song was a Muggle hit? No one thought anything about it? The statues for secrecy didn't kick in?" James asked incredulously, when I finished my story about the song, after Sirius had completed his serenade of me.

"Nope, number one single in 1981, I think. Wasn't wild about it before, now I think it may be my favorite song," I had a wonderful warm, glowy feeling all over. Sirius emerged from my studio and I got up and ran over to him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him deeply.

"That was..." and I sighed. There weren't words. "Every time I think I understand just how much I love you, something comes along and surprises me."

"Well, I'm glad that I pulled it off. I worked on it for weeks, whenever I could get away from you, which wasn't often. You're one pesky little witch some days," he kissed me again, and we went back to sit with our friends for a while. We took time to go and see everyone, talking with them, thanking them for joining us not only earlier today, but tonight as well. We sat with Ewan and his wife Anelle for a while, catching up. She was a Potions Master as well, and they had been working on perfecting the Binding Potion that had saved James and Lily, trying to counteract the passing out side effect that had afflicted them. They were also going to spend some time with Remus and his work on adapting the Wolfsbane potion for children who had been bitten.

When we sat down with my parents, I heard my mother gasp, and I looked at her.

"Anwen Llyn Hodgson, what is that on your back?" _Oops, I forgot to have Sirius put the Covering Charm on my tattoo._

"Ma, the name is Anwen Llyn Black, and it's a tattoo. It stands for shelter, and it's enchanted to help provide me some protection against dark magic," I told her calmly, Sirius stroking my shoulder trying to keep me that way.

"Did you make her do this?" she spouted at Sirius. I reached over and squeezed his knee, hoping to keep him calm now.

"No Ma, I decided to it myself, Sirius had nothing to do with it. I'm married now, Ma. I'm an adult too, so, I'm sorry that you don't like it, but you really don't get a say," she got tears in her eyes.

"Oh, You're not my little girl anymore," I leaned over and hugged her, as my Da rubbed her back. We talked for a few more minutes, until my mother had calmed down. Molly Weasley took over soothing her and trying to make her feel better. _That is one scary combo, the amount of over protective, smothering that they would be capable of together..._a chill passed through me at the thought.

After we left my parents, Sirius leaned over to whisper in my ear; "Is she always that moody?" I nodded at him.

"That is normal for my Ma. Sorry about that, she can be a little like being on a roller coaster."

"A what?" he asked me. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Never mind."

We went back to dancing and while Sirius and I were willing to dance with other people, we always made our way back to one another after a few songs. I needed to feel him near me, to feel him hold me; it was almost as if I was pulled to him. We went and told Albus our new Patronuses. His response was that irritating, all-knowing smile he had while nodding in understanding. I was eager to see if our Animagus forms were different as well, but this was not the time or place. My parents might not be able to handle it, and since Sirius still wasn't registered, most of the room didn't know.

As Midnight approached, Sirius discretely went outside with the drummer of the band and I invited everyone downstairs to the back door. At the stroke of midnight, I opened the back door to 'let the old year out' and to welcome in our 'stranger' bearing the gifts of bread, salt and coal, to bless the new year. The poor guy looked like he was going to die of embarrassment, and when Sirius followed him in, I took pity on the poor man and told him to go back upstairs to his friends.

"How could you do that to him? He looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock," I asked Sirius when he had kissed me again.

"I tipped him one hundred galleons Anwen, he was well compensated for his embarrassment. Trust me," I smiled at him, and kissed him yet again.

The band played another set, and almost everyone was up and dancing. There was laughter and happiness everywhere, and I couldn't imagine a better way to begin our married life. The party started to break up when the kids started falling asleep on the floor. We bade our guests goodbye, and Sirius adjusted the floo settings, so that only he and I could get through. Kreacher would handle the clean up.

"Are you ready to go?" Sirius turned and asked me.

"Don't we need luggage?" I asked him.

"No. Everything that you will need is there. All we have to do is show up. Come on, I can't wait to hold you again," he said, his voice sounded as soft as velvet, wrapping his arms around me. I closed my eyes, breathed him in and felt myself getting lost in his feelings of lust and longing right now. He pulled me into the fireplace with him, holding onto me as he threw a handful of floo powder into the grate, and clearly said, "**ma paix**". I didn't have time to ask him about the name, _I wonder why it's called my peace, _much less where we were, for when we arrived he picked me up, cradled me to him and carried me into the bedroom. We weren't talking much.

I rolled over and stretched my body out. Every joint felt loose and limber and I couldn't remember ever feeling so calm and relaxed. A wave of love washed over me, and I rolled my head over to look at Sirius. His long fingers were caressing me gently.

"So...we've been in Monaco for three days now, and all that I have seen of this country, is the inside of this flat. Now mind you, I like the flat, but love, there is a whole city, country out there. Can we please put some clothes on and do something outside today?"

"Why, Winnie love, why would I want to leave our flat?" he pulled me over to him and wrapped me up tightly in his arms. "Everything I need is right here."

"Be that as it may, um, I would like to say we did something while we were here, for three weeks, other than shag each other senseless. Honestly Sirius, it's not like we are new at this," he didn't make any effort to let go of me. "Come on, there are galleries and shopping and casinos and dancing and really good food out there. Please, please, lets do something for a few hours, and then we can come back and resume this activity. Anyway, Kreacher is itching to get in here and clean. He already fire called twice since we left London," I pouted at him.

"All right, we can leave, but we are going to go shopping, and you are not going to complain when I buy you things," he told me firmly.

"Fine, you can buy me things. Can we get out of bed now, please?" I said trying to sit up. "Sirius, I'm hungry."

"Really? I mean, you've been eating quite a bit here, are you sure you are okay?" I threw my arms up in the air.

"Okay, several weeks ago you were complaining about my not eating, now you are quizzing me on eating too much. Sirius make up your mind. We've been burning up a whole lot of calories here," I said tickling him, and sliding out of the bed. I went over to my trunk and opened it. "Sirius, are there any actual clothes here for me. This entire case is filled with lingerie! Who the hell packed this?" I turned around and he was grinning madly.

"Lily."

"Remind me to thank my best friend when we get home. God help her if I ever have to pack a bag for her," I grumbled.

"The rest of your things are hanging in the closet. I sent her shopping for you, and everything is hanging up in there," I walked over to the closet and was impressed at what was. The clothes were soft and flowing without being excessively frilly. Lily had good taste. There were a few things that were mine from Greece, as well as some of my spring and summer clothes from home.

Unbeknown to me, Sirius had sold the flat in Greece. _Good thing too, because I never wanted to go back there, whatever good memories that we had there were all erased._ With the profits, he had bought this one, and named it "My Peace". He said that the name was in honor of me. I fingered several of the delicate blouses and smiled. I closed my eyes and pictured Sirius and then visualized myself pouring my love and complete sense of peace out over him. Because of my ability to visualize, I was able to manipulate our new connection better than Sirius, but he was learning fast. Part of me believed that with work he might be able to duplicate my visualization skills, to at least some extent. I pulled a pale green linen blouse and a black flowing skirt out of the closet and turned around, Sirius was standing behind me, smiling naughtily.

"You know, if you keep doing that to me, we are never leaving this flat," he crooned, before lifting me up and carrying me to the bathroom. We spent the rest of the morning, "getting ready" to go out.

**Sirius POV:**

"Anwen, how much stuff are you taking over there? There are only four people that we are going to see tonight, how many gifts do you have here?" I yelled at her. She was upstairs in our bedroom, supposedly getting dressed, but she had been up there for close to an hour. I was in the sitting room, staring at two large shopping bags and a crate that she said needed to go with us tonight to Potter Manor. _She says that they are full of gifts for our family, but honestly, I didn't know she had bought this much stuff._

"Sirius, please don't bellow in the house," she said walking into the room. "Yes, all of that needs to go, but about half of it is the potions supplies that we bought. I told you that I had gotten quite a bit, but the prices were so much better, I knew that Lily and Remus could use them. Whatever savings they have, they pass onto the families that they are helping. Wolfsbane is a tricky potion to brew, and most families can't do it themselves. What Remus and Lily do for them is amazing and touching, I'm glad that we are able to help," she explained. _They had found as many of the names of the children and youth who had been bitten by Werewolves during the war, and had been working with the families to provide them with not only the necessary potion, but also support their families in caring for them, and providing them with as normal of a childhood as they could. Lily had been working with Remus, not only on the potions aspect, but also in the care and support. She knew more about healing and day after care of a werewolf than almost anyone. The business was not out to make a profit, but instead provide a service. They charged the families only for the raw cost of the potions, as to not make it seem like they were receiving charity. Remus also felt that he was making a salary, even if it was small. Fortunately, James and I could support him without any problems._

_Anwen was impressed with what Remus and Lily were doing, calling it "just and honorable" and wanted to help in any way that she could. She had made an agreement with the healers at St. Mungo's that when a new case came in for healing, she would be notified to take the statements; then she could pass the information on to Remus and Lily and be present for many of the initial meetings._

"Fine, but can't we just send it over there?" I asked her, dreading having to carry both the bags along with the large wooden crate that she just levitated over.

"You want to send a crate of potions supplies, unannounced, into a house with a five year old?" she questioned me, lifting her eyebrows under her fringe, then shaking her head at me.

"Fine, you take the bags, I will carry the crate. Honestly Anwen, I never knew you to shop so much. I'm surprised that there was anything left in that whole country," I teased her as we went down the stairs to the lowest level and the floo fireplace.

"Sirius, I have never had a problem buying things for other people, I just don't see the need to get things for myself. I have you, that's everything I need," she turned her head back to smile at me, and then threw a wave of contentment at me.

"Fine, fine. But hey, you did buy that black dress," I said, smiling at the memory of her in it.

"No Sirius, that dress was not for me, that dress was for you. No woman intentionally buys a dress that you cannot wear knickers with, unless they are trying to make someone else happy. I am glad that you liked it, because I won't be wearing it out in public again," she replied, with a tone in her voice that let me know it wasn't up for debate. She had worn it on a particularly wonderful night when we had first gone to the casino.

We flooed to the Manor and when my feet were out of the fireplace, Harry was running up to us. "Mummy, they are back!" Harry squealed and ran up to me. I put the crate down and I lifted him up and threw him into the air and caught him. He laughed brightly, and then messed with my hair. "I really wish your Aunt Winnie wouldn't have taught you to do that," I moaned, knowing that my hair now resembled the mop that was atop his head.

"It's fun to make you so upset Uncle Sirius. You're face gets all scrunchy when your angry at me," Harry said, mimicking what I supposed was my expression, as I put him back down.

"I am not angry with you Harry, just irritated at your Aunt Winnie. Now where did my wife get off to?" I asked him, realizing that Anwen was not in the hallway with me anymore. The crate was gone as well as the large bags. Harry took me by the hand and lead me into the dining room. Anwen had the crate open and was going through the contents with Lily and Remus.

"Do you realize that you can't buy some of this stuff in Great Britain, it's been banned or at least tightly regulated. How did you manage it?" Remus asked her, smiling with delight at the contents of the phial he was holding up.

"It was all for sale out in the open there. I bought as much as I could without raising suspicion. I did have to go to the equivalent of their Ministry to register myself, but my Senior Auror credentials go a long way to making things easier. That, coupled with my personal access to Minister of Magic and her personal assistant make red tape just disappear. I knew you could use these things, I hope that I didn't forget anything," Anwen said to Remus and Lily.

"No, and the few things that aren't here are the ones that are easy to buy on Diagon Alley. Anwen, this will really help out those families. What do we owe you?" Lily said, putting her hand on Anwen's shoulder. My wife looked back at me, and I nodded my head and smiled at her.

"Sirius and I talked about this, and it's a gift to you and the families that you are working with," Lily and Remus both opened their mouths to say something, but Anwen just continued. "Don't you dare say anything about it. It's just money, and we want to do it. When you need more, one of you can floo with me to the flat in Monaco and we can go shopping there together. We are, after all, homeowners there," she beamed as looked at me. _She really loves the small flat there, and appreciated that we were in a large magical community where we really weren't celebrities, and she wasn't an Auror, we just a young married couple._

Anwen had everyone move out into the lounge and she passed out the gifts that we brought back for the family. Harry couldn't believe that we had gotten him real Seeker gloves, made from genuine Dragonhide, as well as several books about the magical history of Monaco and a large jar of grape jelly, made from grapes that would only grow in Monaco and the south of France. Lily groaned at the gift, picturing the ensuing mess in her head, I was sure.

Remus and James seemed impressed with the books on Charms that I had found them, some of the spells were more like Hexes than Charms, but I was sure that they would be able to find a use for them. We had also found an interesting book on the history of Werewolves for Remus, and one on Warding for James. Anwen had dragged me into every bookstore that we found in the Magical section of the city, and I figured that I should take advantage of it. I had also picked up several well made leather wand holders for us all, as well as some wine from a wonderful winery that we had been to. James immediately chilled a bottle and opened it for us to share.

Anwen had picked out some clothes for Lily, who appreciated the embroidery on them and thanked her profusely. After Harry was up in bad, Anwen handed Lily a small bag, the contents of which were unknown to me. Lily started to take the item out, and then immediately stuffed it back into the bag.

"Anwen, how could you?" she asked, blushing greatly.

"Um, that's for that whole case you packed for me! What were you thinking? That he'd need any encouragement?" Anwen said back. _Now I know what's in there._

"Well, it **was** your honeymoon," Lily said back bashfully. James and Remus just looked confused. Anwen grabbed the bag back from Lily and threw it across the room at James, who reached in for the flimsy bit of red lace, pulled it out, realized what it was, stuffed it back into the bag and looked at Anwen and smiled mischievously.

"You may shop for my wife anytime that you would like Winnie," he said, while Lily just buried her face in her hands. Anwen hugged her, and whispered something in her ear, and the two giggled for a moment, before Anwen settled back down in my lap, curling her body against me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me. I could feel her sense of happiness and contentment.

We told them about the trip, about all the sightseeing, going to the Symphony and the Ballet and the sheer volume of time spent shopping. Anwen insisted on telling them about the night at the casino, where I lost more money than I cared to think about, and they all had a great laugh at my expense. I ran my hands through my hair, pulling it away from my face, and I heard Lily gasp.

"Sirius, what is that hanging from your ear?" she asked. My finger went up to my right ear, and I fingered the item dangling from the piercing there.

"That would be an eagle talon," I said proudly, smirking. Anwen's hand went up and caressed it as well. I knew that she liked the way that it looked.

"When did you do that?"

"Well, Mum," I teased her, "when we were shopping in the magical part of Monaco, we decided that we wanted to do something to commemorate our honeymoon. Hold on, let me rephrase that, we wanted to do something that other people could witness to commemorate our honeymoon. You should see what Anwen has now," I said proudly. I couldn't believe when she did it. I felt her slap my arm.

"Thanks, I really had hoped to not share it just yet. I'm still getting used to the idea myself. I can't believe I went through with it." Neither could I.

"Anwen, did you get something pierced?" James said frightened, as both of her ears were already done.

"Um, no. I got this," she said standing up and turning around. She lifted the hem of her shirt, and showed them the enchanted tattoo that graced the small of her back. It was a griffin whose wings appeared to be flapping as if it was ready to take flight. The golden fur glistened against her pale skin.

"You really have been corrupted. An enchanted tattoo? Honestly, that makes what, three now Anwen. You're going to be as decorated as him soon," Lily said in shock. Anwen just smiled at her, looking like she had just been found out, which of course she had.

"Why a griffin?" Remus asked.

"Well, remember how when we were Bound, Albus confirmed that we might find our Patronuses and Animagus forms had changed?" She said, and they all nodded at her. "Watch this," with that she lifted her left hand and her griffin burst forth. I pulled my wand and cast my Patronus, and when his feet hit the floor, he turned and looked at hers, and took it's beak and preened her feathers before they both vanished. They all looked at one another, surprised, and then turned and looked at us.

"They're beautiful. What about your Animagus forms?" Lily said.

"They seem to be the same as they were before, which is good, because we wouldn't have the cover we have now if we were two griffins walking around. None live in Great Britain anymore," I answered her. Anwen settled back down on me, and I kissed her lightly. We talked for a short while longer, but the night was getting on, and Anwen sent me a wave of emotion that let me know she was ready to go home and be alone. With that, we said goodnight and I took my beloved wife home.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36:**

**Things we didn't know**

**Anwen POV:**

Fairly early on a Saturday morning, late in April, we found ourselves in my car on the way to Potter Manor in the Western Highlands of Scotland. Sirius and I have been married for nearly four months, and I am blissfully happy. It was a beautiful drive and since we would be spending the weekend, I decided that we would go this way. Sirius was pouting, because I was driving. I had warded the car so that he couldn't drive it after he had attempted to charm the vehicle while I was away on a recent trip. He was angry that he had been caught. _In my head, I know that I am supposed to share everything with my husband, but this is my first new car and I had bought it, and he was reckless. _I continued to justify my actions, knowing that I was going to have to let him drive again soon, maybe even on the trip home.

Sirius and James had gone into business together, in a venture that had made Lily and I skeptical at first, but now we were quite thrilled with. They were freelance Curse Breakers and Ward Builders. We had come up with the idea, all five of us, one night while we were talking about what they liked to do. Other than mischief, they realized that they had fun cleaning all the dark magic out of Grimmauld Place, and they were better at it than the people that we had hired to do it. Lily and I had finally convinced them that they needed to do something with all of their free time, since they were driving us crazy otherwise.

The business grew fairly quickly, mostly by word of mouth. It didn't hurt that they were both somewhat famous in their own right, and as a duo, there was a curiosity factor. They worked on a sliding scale, charging people only what they thought they could reasonably afford, as money was not the motivation for their work. Lily and Remus were quite busy working with the families of the Werewolf infected children and I was still working at the Ministry. Harry was doing well in his Reception Class at the Muggle primary school as well, and it was good for him to just be another child, not "The Boy Who Lived." His biggest problem was the accidental magic that kept erupting from him. James had spoken with Albus about obliging his magic for the remainder of the school year.

_I wonder if that's what James called this "family meeting" for? _Lily had fire called two nights ago and asked if we could come and spend the weekend, there was something that they needed to discuss with us. Sirius and I had left London yesterday, and stopped at a small, very romantic bed and breakfast on the way. We had gotten up early this morning to drive the rest of the way. We would spend today and tomorrow there, before heading back, stopping at the same inn on the way back. I didn't have to be in the office until Wednesday morning. I had just spent the last week in Albania, freezing some questionable assets that I was sure were either Voldemort's or a Death Eaters. I also froze some of my assets in the putrid weather there. It was while I was away that Sirius had tried to play with my car.

"When are we going to be there?" Sirius complained, fiddling with the radio yet again.

"In about two hours," I replied. He continued to tinker with the radio. "Oh, stop it, I love this song, and it fits us so well." He pulled his hands away and I started to sing along to the song, drumming away on the steering wheel. I looked over at Sirius, and he had the goofiest look on his face. "What?" I questioned him.

"I love you, I really, really love you, Winnie," he said, his voice sounding happy, but yet resigned. I smiled at him and went back to dancing in my seat, drumming the steering wheel and singing away.

When we pulled into the turnoff for the Manor, Sirius sent his Patronus ahead, so that James could come and meet us at the gates, and drop the Wards for the car. Sirius and I had no problem passing through them, the car however was another story. If we had tried to drive the car through, it would be as if I was driving it into a brick wall. Once we had parked the car near the garage and got out, we were buzzed by a little boy on his broom.

"James was that Harry?" I asked him, he nodded at us. "When exactly did you let him get off the training broom?" Harry had been on a special children's broom that only let him fly about a foot off the ground since his first birthday. It was a gift from his godfather, much to the dismay of Lily and I. I couldn't believe that she would have let him up on a more conventional broom.

"Winnie, it's a Junior broom, it only let's him get about four feet or so off the ground. He'd outgrown the other one," James told me. Sirius was snickering behind my back.

"Lils knows about this?"

"Um, well, he's only on it when I'm with him, and she's not home right now, and..." James told me sheepishly.

"I wouldn't want to be you when she finds out," I responded and watched as Sirius was turning beet red trying to keep from laughing. "Oh, and you, look me in the eyes and tell me that you had nothing to do with this," Sirius tried to look at me, and then his face fell and he put on those puppy dog eyes and pouted.

"But Winnie, love, he flies so well. And James is always with him..." he said, coming to wrap his arms around me. I couldn't help but laugh at him as well.

"Well, when Lily tries to hex you, don't expect me to protect you, love," I whispered as my lips came closer and then I kissed him.

"Okay, so exactly how long does this disgusting, newlywed phase last?" we heard James groan from behind us.

"Forever, if we are lucky," I smiled back at him. There were times that I swore he and Lily were still in it, which was wonderful to see. Sirius grabbed our bags from the boot of the car and we headed inside. We were again in "our" room. We had spend many, many nights here over so many years, and it felt like a second home to us.

Lily and Remus returned home via floo a short time later. They had been visiting a family whose young daughter had been bitten when she was only six years old. It was now five years later, and she had entered puberty, and her monthly episodes had gotten worse with the new hormonal rush going on in her body. They had been adapting her Wolfsbane potion to better suit her blood chemistry, and had gone to see how she had fared with the full moon two nights ago.

It was an interesting and plausible idea that lycanthropy was caused by a blood infection, and while there was no cure, the Wolfsbane potion did help ease the symptoms. Remus and Lily had begun customizing the potion for the specific strain of the infection, as well as tailoring it for the chemistry of each individual. They had gotten the idea from Ewan and Anelle and had been pleased with their results. Even Remus had said that the last few months had been the easiest of his entire life. I was so pleased that he was able to find some relief.

The day passed quietly, Lily and I sat in the kitchen and talked and cooked while the guys were out back, doing something with Harry that was most likely questionable and not completely wholesome. _These were Messrs. Moony, Padfoot and Prongs after all._ I could tell that something was bothering Lily, she seemed distracted and upset somehow.

"Lils, what's going on? You're not yourself today," she tried to shake me off. "Hey, this isn't just anyone, it's me. Come on, tell me what's got you so upset."

"James and I will tell you tonight. We want to do it when everyone is together. After Harry has gone to bed," she sounded so serious and the color had drained from her face.

"Okay," I said, but in the pit of my stomach I knew that there was something gravely wrong. Even while they were in hiding, she never looked this way.

The afternoon passed and dinner was pleasant enough, but we all knew that there was something off. I had quizzed Sirius when we were alone walking the grounds before dinner, but James had said nothing to him. I doubted that Remus knew anything either, as he kept looking at Lily and James with a concern crossing his face. After Lily had put Harry to bed, we met in the lounge, and James shut and sealed the doors, using a monitoring charm on Harry's bedroom to alert them if he was up and out of bed.

"Okay you two, clearly there is something wrong, but none of us know what is going on. Care to clue us in?" Sirius said. _He could have worded that better, but he did get to the point quickly._

"What we need to tell you isn't to leave this room. Everyone understand?" James said. _That's an odd request, who would we talk to, everyone that any of us confided in was in this room. _"All right, a few weeks before your wedding, I was giving an interview to the Daily Prophet and the interview posed the question about why Voldemort had gone after Harry. I didn't have a good answer, but the question got me thinking. So I started doing research, and what I found out, well, it's been disturbing."

I looked at him, his face was taught, and he suddenly looked so much older than his tender twenty-six years. "James, we were all targeted. They came after all of us at one time or another."

"You're right to a point, Anwen. All of us were attacked, but it was only Lily, Harry and I that were attacked by Voldemort personally. I knew that there had to be a reason. He rarely did the work himself, it was much easier to send out the Death Eaters to insulate himself from arrest or worse. Voldemort confronted Lily and I three times, and expressed specific interest in Harry," I looked at Remus, and I could tell that something was developing in his mind. _He always furrows his brow when he's deep in thought._

"So, the big V had it out for you. Why are you worried about his now?" Sirius asked.

"I'm getting there. I did what I could on my own, but came up with very little. So I went to the one person that I knew would have better," James continued.

"Albus?" I asked him, knowing the answer before I asked.

"Yes, he tried to evade me, but finally, I got him to tell me what he knew," James stopped and took a deep breath. I could feel myself shaking. I didn't like the look on his face, or the tears that were now streaming down Lily's face. Sirius must have sensed my sudden sense of unease, for he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around me.

"Before Harry was born, there was a prophecy made. It said that a child would be born that would have the power to defeat the Dark Lord. It was a power that the Dark Lord knows not and that..." James stopped, as Lily was now openly crying. He put his arm around his wife and held her close, whispering something in her ear. I too was crying and I looked at Sirius through my tear filled eyes. I couldn't even make words come to me. I just sent him a wave of fear and dread, and he tried to send me a calming one, but couldn't really manage it. James started speaking again.

"It ended with 'neither can live while the other survives'," he stopped talking as Lily started sobbing. He wrapped both of his arms around her and she cried on his shoulder. I leaned myself into Sirius and he was stroking my head, trying to calm me. Remus had gotten up, and had walked over to stand behind Lily, putting a reassuring hand on her back. We all sat there for a few moments, trying to get hold of ourselves. Lily finally got herself together, and I wiped the tears from my face.

"How did Albus know?" Remus asked when we were all again capable of speech.

"He was the one that the prophecy was made to. He has a copy of it for his pensive. I watched the whole thing," James said coldly. I could tell that remembering it was very painful for him.

"Wait, he's known about this since before Harry was born, and he never told you anything about it?" my dear husband added, indigent at the Headmaster withholding information.

"He did. We most definitely had words about it," James said firmly. _ That would have been something to see._ "Turns out that it could have been another child that the prophecy was made about."

"Who?" I asked.

"Little Neville Longbottom," James answered quietly.

"Well, maybe this whole thing is about him and not Harry," Sirius pipped up.

"It doesn't work that way. Basically, because Voldemort tried to kill Harry, the prophecy is about Harry. The whole prophecy is this circular logic thing, and I guess that the Dark Lord didn't know the whole thing, and by acting on it, made it come true. Look, if you want to see the it, you can go over to Hogwarts and watch it. Albus knows that I was going to tell all of you, so I don't think that he would be surprised to see any of you," we were all quiet, processing things. Sirius continued to stroke my shoulders and kiss my temple.

"Look, we told you for two reasons. First, you are our family. Until Harry is of age, we are going to have to protect him. Second, I know no one that can help us understand this mess and how to get out of it, better than all of you. Remus, you are the theoretician, you see the big picture and see how the pieces fit together. Anwen, you're the intellectual, you're brain is capable of understanding that the rest of us cannot even begin to grasp. I also know that you can read Harry's magic and locate him, even over great distances. That skill may become important as Harry ages. Sirius, brother, you're the passionate one. You love Harry and would fight for him the way that his mother and I would. We are going to need you to help keep him safe. Plus, together you and I can break just about any Curse and Charm nearly anything; two skills that might become important in the years ahead.

I had so many questions in my head, but looking at my best friend, I knew that this wasn't the time to ask them. She seemed so lost, so sad, I didn't want to pay her any more grief. _I need to see the whole memory, Albus will have to show it to me. Plus, if there is an actual prophecy, there will be a record of it down in the Department of Mysteries. While I can't take it, I can talk with some of the Unspeakables that work down there. There is much that can be learned about the reliability and the accuracy of the person who gave the prophecy, as well as it's magical strength. _I was lost in my own planning, and didn't realize that everyone was looking at me until Sirius kissed my cheek.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, just thinking," I said sheepishly.

"Clearly. Care to share anything that's rattling around in that brain of yours?" Remus asked me.

"No, it's nothing concrete at this point. I was just making a mental list of people I need to talk to at work who might be able to illuminate this for us," I said, still a little distracted. "Are you going to pull Harry back out of school?"

"No, James and I have talked about this, and we think that it's important that he have this time away from the Magical community, especially now that we know what lies ahead," Lily answered me. "Additionally, I always thought that there was something missing in the kids who grew up strictly magical, they didn't know things that you and I know Anwen; like science and literature. Voldemort played on that, convincing otherwise intelligent Witches and Wizards that Muggles were somehow bad, just because they didn't understand them or their culture. I want Harry to know Muggle things. I think that we may need to supplement his schooling, even beginning his magical education before he goes to Hogwarts." I nodded at her. I was sometimes amazed at the basic things that Sirius did not know, even to this day. I would talk about very famous Muggle books, or proven scientific theories, and he knew nothing of them.

"What can we do, Lily?" I responded.

"First, I need you to continue to take him out on Saturday's, just like you've been doing with him since he was three. He needs to see works of art and dance and understand music. We need you to work with him on languages; he may need to travel someday, and being able to speak something other than English will be helpful. You're so much better suited at that than either James or I are. I am going to work with him on science. Most Witches and Wizards don't understand physics or any of the natural sciences. I think that it may help him in the long run. James wants him to have an understanding of the world around him; how well off we are. This isn't a guilt thing, it's just a desire to make sure that he knows that he has to be responsible for his actions and how they effect others. What was it your grandmother used to say Winnie?" Lily asked me.

"To whom much is given, much is required." I responded.

"That's it."

"Remus, you're the best read in Wizarding materials. We want Harry to understand Magical history, and if we depend on Hogwarts to do it, he'll just be bored," James cracked his first real smile since we had sat down, and I was sure that he was remembering Professor Binns. We all had relaxed enough to smile, just a little.

"Lastly, Sirius, you've got the hardest job here," James confessed. "You need to make sure that Harry still enjoys his childhood. It would be so easy for us to put too much onto him, to smother him. I, well both Lily and I, still want him to have a childhood. You're his godfather, you need to help keep the rest of us in line," I looked at my husband, and there was a sense of deep understanding in his face. He nodded at his best friend.

"James, you know I will. Maybe I'll even teach him some really good pranks, so he's ready when he gets to school." _That's the man that I know and love._

"We also made a decision. James and I want to make our family larger," Lily said, looking up at her husbands face. "We want Harry to have little sisters or brothers," I smiled at her. I had known for years that she had hoped to have another baby it just wasn't practical while they were in hiding, but it was wonderful to know that it might finally happen. _Maybe their baby could be friends with a baby that Sirius and I hope to have, someday._

"Anwen, we also will need to be kept abreast of any developments that you might hear about at work. You're liable to be the first to know if there is movement on the other side," James said solemnly. Lily began crying again at the mere suggestion of the topic, so I simply made eye contact with James and nodded my head.

We stayed up talking for a while longer, but it was well into the evening by the time the conversations had finally ended. Sirius and I went upstairs to our room, and quietly got ready for bed. Once I was safely wrapped up in my beloveds arms, I started discussing the evenings events.

"Anwen, love, do you think that he is still out there?" Sirius finally asked me. We didn't discuss my work often, or what I knew of Voldemort or his former followers. To be honest, Sirius found the financial aspects of the work dull. I was thankful for this, it meant that we had never had to have this particular conversation, until now. I took a deep breath and started sharing what I knew.

"Yes," Sirius went to question me, but I just started talking again. "Look, I have personally reviewed everyones memories from that night, even Albus'. There was something left behind. He wasn't obliterated. I just don't know what to call what was left," I told him. Sirius pulled me closer to him.

"I wish you didn't know these things," he whispered as he stroked my back.

"I know, but I do. Sirius, the reports we gathered while we were in Albania last week, the drawings, the accounts; it was..." I stopped remembering what I had seen and a chill traveled down my spine, "...it's just disturbing. There isn't anything like it in the Magical world, or even the Muggle one," I curled myself tighter against my husband. I didn't want to have to think about it anymore.

"He'll be back, someday, won't he?" Sirius said, much more serious than I was used to hearing him.

"I think so. Someday he'll figure out a way to restore himself, and when he does, it sounds like little Harry will have to go up against him."

_How was a little boy supposed to defeat a powerful Dark Wizard? Would he be strong enough? Would he need to know magic that none of us understood? Who was going to train him? What if it happens before Harry is of age._

"Love, we're not ready," the realization buried me in despair. "If he were to come back today, we wouldn't be ready." Silent tears started to fall.

"Winnie, honey, it's okay. We did fine the last time, we'll be fine again. Please, don't cry," he said, pulling me so that I was lying on top of him.

"No. It's not like last time. When was the last time that you were in a real fight with anyone? Had to rely on your spell work to get yourself out of a situation?" I asked him.

"I don't know? When was yours?" He asked sounding somewhat amused.

"Thursday, at about three in the afternoon. I was dueling King," I told him honestly.

"You were dueling your partner? Why?"

"Um, we duel at least three times a week. Sometimes against each other, sometimes against other sets of partners. We've even taken on the entire training class, but that wasn't much of a fight. We had them all subdued in about ten minutes."

"So, what exactly do you consider a fight?" Sirius said, sounding a bit surprised. "Why do you fight so much?"

"Well, it's my job love, never know what you might find out in the world," he looked at me confused. "When you take away someone's money, their home or land, whatever, they tend to get a little upset. The best fights, the hardest ones, are when King and I duel each other, no holds barred, everything except Unforgivables."

"You fight with him regularly, like that. Anwen, he's huge and you're so small. I don't want anything happening to you," he took his hands and pulled the hair away from my face, and held both of his hands on either side of my head.

"Love, it's usually me that wins. Last week, I accidentally sent King to St. Mungo's. Hit him too hard with a dizzying hex, and he couldn't stand up straight for a few hours," my husbands eyes flew open in shock. "We usually try to just use half strength curses and such, disarm and disable, not do damage."

"Wow. I had no idea."

"I have a rather unfair advantage now. I can see what he's sending at me, as well as cast independent spells from each hand. Sometimes I handicap myself by using a wand. Limits me by fifty percent. I also run three miles, four times a week, as well do yoga and ballet classes at the dance studio around the corner from our house," I told him.

"How did I not know any of this?"

"Well, you're usually still in bed when I get up and get going in the morning. Sirius, I've been running for years, like since just after I left Hogwarts. I added the yoga a few months ago for balance. I had stayed with much of my ballet exercise over the years, so that I could remain flexible. Which, if I am not mistaken, is something that you appreciate," I said with a glint in my eye, and he returned the look.

"This is true. So, do you think you could take me?"

"All things being equal, I could have you disarmed and immobilized in about two minutes. However, with our magic bound as it is, I don't know how much curse or hex work I would be able to use. That would require creative spell casting as well as hand to hand, so it might take as much as five minutes."

"What? You think that I am that weak?"

"No, I'm just that good, love. I'm not being conceited here. You're just out of practice, all of you are. If we are going to keep Harry safe, we are going to have to get each of you back into condition. Harry's life could depend on it," he nodded at me, and I laid my head on his chest. We laid there, and questions kept swirling in my head. I didn't want to think anymore. "Love, help me forget all of this, at least for tonight."

He said nothing, but rolled us over, covering my body with his and helping me get lost in his embrace.


	37. Chapter 37

_Friends,_

_Starting on Saturday, February 16, the culmination of both the Bound/Woven/Restored and the Continuum/Ranímer/Growing Up with Mum and Dad story arcs will begin posting. __Time War__ is a thrilling story, taking place in the past, present and an ever fluctuating future._

_Narcissa Malfoy and what few former Death Eaters she could muster together have discovered how Harry went back in time to kill Voldemort. Utilizing this spell, and copious amounts of Polyjuice Potion, she is determined to save her family, the Dark Lord and to keep pureblood supremacy._

_Only the Potter, Lupin, Black and Longbottom families are aware of the breeches in time she's creating. They decide they must stop her, regardless of the personal consequences they might face. They must set time aright, even if it means the timeline which becomes the new 'prime' is one in which they or one of their children is dead._

_I hope you'll join me as we explore how one action can forever alter so many lives._

_Thanks for your faithful readership,_

_Mutt N Feathers_


End file.
